SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Jasmine on 14 August 2010, 12:31:30 am
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So, because of this line of work I've always thought it was impossible to do this and have a boyfriend. I would see guys on a casual basis but I always made it clear I didn't want an actual relationship. Until about a month ago, someone who I was seeing casually wanted more & I decided to tell him I was an escort but he still wanted to see me. He seemed pretty fine with it, he did seem a little bothered everytime I had to work but nothing majorly and we ended up getting really serious in the last month. About a couple days ago, he really wanted me to quit and confessed he's been bottling his emotions & drinking the nights I had to work. I told him I couldnt quit & if he couldnt deal with it then we should split.
He thought about whether he could handle it and decided he could but I am unsure whether this will still hurt and cause problems for him eventhough he thinks he can deal with it and is cooler about it.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Or does anyone have a boyfriend who knows what you do and does he deal with it well?
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I'm on the fence with this myself. But I know working girls who have been married for 22 years. But her husband was a swinger before anyway. I have taken an excerpt from her about the topic. She is a very wise lady and I think this will help a lot of ladies. Plus I don't think it could be said any better-or more thorough.
Soooooo you want to be in a relationship and still be a provider? Ok well gather round....
You have met Mr. Wonderful....should you tell him or not? Let's take a journey...but before I start.....
GROUND ZERO!! NO HOBBYIST IS EVER GOING TO STICK AROUND FOR A RELATIONSHIP!!!! I am talking about civilian men NOT HOBBYIST THAT DOES NOT EVER WORK. They are in love with the illusion NOT YOU.
If you are stuck on a hobbyist....no need to read any further. You are a train wreck waiting to happen.
Moving right along to the real world.
1. Always be very honest, he may worship the very ground you walk on and drink your dirty bath water, but he is not going to have his pride toyed with. If he has to find out you are a ho, he will loose his mind. If you tell him up front he may still loose his mind, but you will avoid being in love with him when he does flip out....and he will never say you lied to him. Give him the choice to run for the hills, or stay.
2. Never EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER brag about anything your clients may do for you. If a client buys you roses toss them in the dumpster, or give them away, same with a card, or any gift like that....THROW IT OUT. Why.....bc those are intimate gifts and some things should be reserved for just him to do for you. I don't care if a client flies you from here to Japan... tell your man, you bought the tickets yourself and went on tour. Do not challenge his manhood with expensive gifts your client bought you. Give them away, pawn them, or refuse to accept them. DO NOT PUT YOUR MANS PRIDE IN THE LINE OF FIRE! He is the PROVIDER IN YOUR HOUSE....not a client. As ironic as that may sound he is...do not BRING HOME AN EXPENSIVE GIFT. You may be able to more than cover all your bills..and then some, but split the bills..SPLIT THE BILLS. If you leave him feeling like you don't need him for shit...you are breeding a cheater. Men are wired to take care of home finacially...split them bills...and on his days ie...birthday, Christmas, Holidays....lavish him! I bought mines A CAR, custom golf clubs, country club memberships, rare wines. lavish vacations. AGAIN DO NOT PAY ALL YOUR HOUSEHOLD BILLS!!! AGAIN DO NOT EVEN OFFER TO PAY ALL YOUR BILLS. AGAIN DO NOT PAY ALL YOUR BILLS........I don't care if he is flat broke when he is done paying his half...SPLIT THE BILLS. Are we clear? NEVER EVER NEVER TAKE OVER EVERYTHING IN YOUR HOUSE YOU SHARE WITH HIM....EEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEERRR.
3. NEVER EVER NEVER EVER EVER.....talk about a clients sexual techniques with an SO. Even if the client is the worst OR BEST thing ever in bed....do not discuss it with you SO. I beg of you to NEVER EVER SAY A WORD....when life events happen death in the family, family celebrations, or your SO has an evening planned.....close up shop. You cannot be super ho and have an SO. I had one girl talking crazy as hell. Her father in law was deathly ill and she WENT ON A CRUISE with a client saying they needed the money. She is now divorced and childless.
4. If you do not do certain sex acts with your SO....PLEASE DO NOT DO THEM WITH A CLIENT....esp one who reviews...HUGE NO NO! ie....if you do duos....you better be prepared to bring another bitch home from time to time. If you really don't like being a provider, being a married provider who does not like being a provider is a breeding ground for DRAMA. Just like we are open minded when clients come up with their crazy fantasies, please understand MEN ARE MEN......
5. If you have a stalker potential client...HANDLE THAT. NIP IT AT THE BUD. Do not have your SO get involved....a stalker client is crazy, a protective SO is a prison-ready, territorial, crazy, lunatic.
6. When you are with your SO on a date with him turn off your bat phone, don't answer any emails, or anything hobby related. GO ON A REAL VACATION WITH HIM /HER AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TURNING IT INTO A TOUR!
7. If you dress to kill when you are working, dress to MASS MURDER when you go out with your SO. DRESS SO WELL YOU LOOK LIKE A RUN WAY MODEL.
8. If you wear lingerie for a client.....knock yourself out with your own man. I never wear heels during a session. I have a full collection for my husband. I have ho (work) lingerie and I have a whole other drawer full of what my hubby likes. I would rip a clients ass apart for even attempting to spank my ass or pull my hair. I gets it spanked and my hair pulled almost every night AT HOME.
9. In September we will celebrate our 22nd anniversary and at times my ole man still struggles with me being a ho. Almost 21 of those years I have been a ho. So they never stop worrying, bc they know how men are. The one time I ended up in a fist fight with another bitch during a session...I told my close friends exactly what happened but did not go there with him, he would have thought a client did that to me.
10. Do not lie about your level of service...ie don't tell him you are a cmt only and you are actually a porn star QUEEN.
11. If the relationship goes further....and kiddies are in the plans....take some years off..... or go so UTR you drop off the public face of the planet for some YEARS....Y_E_A_R_S bc being a wife and mother is VERY demanding....plus your SO may refuse to share a wife who is now the mother of his kid, where he would share a gf. You get arrested and all the kids will tease your babies until you have to stomp them and their MAMMIES!! Your family comes first....there will always be someone with a stuffed envelope......there won't always be a first step, a first tooth, or a first few years of marriage to be blissful. Cultivate your marriage, it is HARD work. The hardest thing you will ever do...esp if you want it to last. Plus it takes YEARS to train a man.....I know it sounds funny, but it is true. I will not go through all this BULLSHIT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH WITH ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER....if mines dies TODAY....I will be alone.
12. Be VERY careful of your finances.......loads of men will waltz in your life and they will love you to death STRAIGHT to the ATM machine. As soon as he starts acting like he should manage you, or like he needs to cut back on his work hours bc you "need" him to help you run your business......WALK...no run! Get out of the relationship, he has this all twisted. He has turned himself into a pimp. If you needed a pimp I am sure you could go find yourself one.
Z said something a longggg time ago that stuck with me ...3 things that are totally useless:
1. plumbing that is clogged
2. a car that wont run
3. and a man that will not work
She is a funny mess but that is so true. A man who WON'T work is not worth a damn!
Even the Bible says: A man who won't work shouldn't EAT. Don't feel the slightest bit like it will EVER work out if he is NOT working.....it will never work...men need a damn job!!! It messes with their self esteem if they are not working... self esteem is a remedy for a cheater, a beater, and a flat out BUM!
13. Keep your SO out of stuff like Meet and Greets, and from hanging around all your HO friends....esp girls who don't know YOU well. Why? CLIENTS TALK TOO FUCKING MUCH...they will sit right at a party and talk about how good you suck dick, even my SO does not want to hear that shit!....unless you enjoy bailing him out of jail....from punching a client in the face....just don't bring him to a Meet and Greet.....AND ALL YOUR HO FRIENDS MAY NOT KNOW YALLS RULES....or think your SO is a client. I would hate to read on the boards that you got banned from meet and greets bc some chick was all over your dude and you had to check her in front of clients...then you are in the middle of mass DRAMA.
*****Furthermore, most of our SO's are physically attractive and more our age...so you waltz in with this fine ass YOUNG man and intro him as your dude...around a bunch of old ass bald headed out of shape men......not good for business******
There is a THICK ASS line between **** and Me. There are very few hobbyist anywhere who knows what my hubby looks like. My hubby has done couples sessions with me, the clients never knew we were in fact married. Very few of my ho friends know what he looks like. I love my ho friends to death, but when my hubby is at home I am not on it with yall. HE IS MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. The hobby will soon end for me as far as being a provider......I am in my marriage until one of us lowers the other in the ground. If he is sick I am not on the boards, not answering my phone, not even thinking about talking to a client, none of yall, none of that...at the end of the day it is me and him, not me him and a review. If your SO does not feel like a priority....he will RESENT the entire scene....you need to work...but you have to balance your ho life and your real deal. Pile some kids into the relationship and it is full time.
14. last one I swear.............my biggest pet peeve!
You are a provider.......NOT A DOOR MAT. I WISH Ron would swear at me, scream at me, or heaven help us all if he EVER PUTS HIS HAND ON ME. Fuck that shit I am going to death row. In 22 years he has never ever hit me. I can count on one hand all the times he has raised his voice, I can count on one hand all the times I have called him out of his name in anger or screamed at him....I have called him a male chauvinist pig......even then it HAS never been a screaming match . I don't give a hell what I do at night for a living...I will not tolerate being disrespected...it makes my blood boil.
Excuse me while I help some ladies please...for those of you who insist on thinking you somehow deserve or need to be in abusive relationships.
Baby it is YOUR SELF ESTEEM...not his....FIND YOUR BACK BONE!!! Don't allow a man to put his hands on you and think you deserved it or you caused it or "hey I am a dick sucker" so he is the best I can get...if I have learned nothing else in the 20+ years I have been doing this Ho's do not go hungry, we do not get "stranded" anywhere for too long. If you are getting the beat down at home....make a plan and entrust your very best friends in the ho business and we can help you GET OUT.....when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you have friends right here who will help you. No matter what the economy is looking like a smart ho WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO HUSSLE!
You can do it....my old black ass can pull down 6 figures without blinking. I can walk today and not look back if this man decides to abuse me...I will cry everyday, and be a mess for a longgg time, but I am not hitting material and he is TOO FUCKING HUGE....FUCK ALL THAT CRAZY SHIT.....make a decision that you are a not a door mat, not a punching bag, and not to be treated like anything less than a Queen. You are not to be talked to like you are a child or an idiot.
We are human beings, wives, girlfriends, mothers....tax paying respectable ladies. The ONLY difference between you and that soccer mom who is constantly trying to figure out why you are pushing a Benz is SHE GETS DRUNK AT PARTIES AND SUCKS DICK FOR FREE....YOU CAN SUCK A DICK SOBER AND EARN YOURSELF THOUSANDS.....so don't get it twisted baby girl you are the real deal...you are worth your weight in gold...you are special....beautiful...and above all YOU ARE A WOMAN who deserves to be treated with respect. If you are in the mindset where you don't think you can do any better than a man who will treat you badly because you are a HO...you are sadly mistaken.
I would rather cry all day everyday for the rest of my life because I am alone, than to spend 15 minutes with my man if he is a disrespectful IDIOT....
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Shit, I couldn't read all of what Miss Jameson just posted because it's awful. If you have the kind of relationship where you have to lie about your work and throw out gifts from thoughtful clients then you should get the hell out. And what the fuck, he is the 'provider in your house'. No he fucking isn't, I have a job.
And I do things for clients I don't do with my fiance! Shock, horror. It's because unlike with clients, when we have sex it's about US not HIM. I don't enjoy anal, so we don't do it. If there's money involved, you can put it wherever you want.
A healthy relationship under any circumstances is based on absolute honesty, trust and commitment to making it work. If you meet the right person they will be fine with what you do. If you have to play stupid games with them to pacify them, you're with the wrong person.
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A healthy relationship under any circumstances is based on absolute honesty, trust and commitment to making it work. If you meet the right person they will be fine with what you do. If you have to play stupid games with them to pacify them, you're with the wrong person.
I completely agree. :)
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He can't deal with it if he is drinking every night, he can tell you he can deal with it to keep you but he has already admitted he can't so that should make it easy for you.
Get out before it goes any further!
My guy said he could deal with it, we moved in together, now he can't deal with it and is just putting up with it as he knows it won't be forever but it does make life so much more difficult.
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Sorry but as someone who has also being in a relationship for 4 years and escorting for 2 of those i find myself agreeing with some of the points made in Miss Jamesons post.
Yes of course a healthy relationship is based on trust, honesty etc but facts have to be faced that in the majority of cases if you are in a monogamous, commited relationship outside of the 'job' then working as an escort is going to cause some degree of upset, hurt, suspicion, whatever you want to call it.
I personally wouldn't dream of bringing flowers etc that a client had given me home. Both out of respect from my fiance 'wow honey look at this huge bouquet of flowers that the man who just paid to s**g me gave me today' and also for myself. Namely that my home is mine and my fiances private, personal space and i prefer to leave all reminders of work elsewhere.
In a similar vein yes honesty is important but you have to have the sense to dampen it on occasions for the sake of saving your other half's feelings. I can just imagine me going home and telling my fiance about the great orgasm a client gave me at work (if such a thing were to happen). It would be the quickest way to murder his libido and make him feel inadequate! Why would i want to grind his ego into the ground like that in the name of 'honesty'? 'Emotional torture' would be a better word for it.
I also can see her reasoning as regards to services offered to clients. If your going to let clients do things to you for money but then wont let your boyfriend do the same and he knows it i would imagine a lot of men would get incredibly pissed off. I know i would if the tables were turned! For me (and my fiance) its important that certain acts are kept between me and him and no amount of money offered by clients can change that.
If it works differently for others then good for them but i don't think its fair to rubbish everything Miss Jameson has said. Of course there are things i disagree with, for example saying be prepared to have threesomes with your partner is something i wouldnt want for myself. I would rather pull all my finger and toenails out than see my fiance with another woman.
The right person will not always be necessarily be 'alright' with you being an escort. My fiance is the right person for me and i love him to death and before i worked as an escort we hardly had a cross word in 2 years. Me working as an escort was a financial decision and has caused us a huge amount of pain. He doesn't like the woman he loves having sex for cash and to be honest if he was simply 'OK' with it i think i would find that more upsetting.
I'm not saying for a second that i am right and others are wrong just that different things work for different people and to dismiss Miss Jamesons post as 'awful' is unfair as in my opinion i think shes made some valid points. Yes maybye they go slightly against the grain of being an empowered woman who takes no shit but sometimes when your dealing with human emotions (and especially men's fragile egos) what should be right in theory doesnt always work in reality.
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I'm going to be controversial here and say that, bluntly, if you're having sex with other people whether for money or for fun you have absolutely no right to expect monogamy. I don't think monogamy is ideal anyway but I certainly don't think inbalanced monogamy is any better. It doesn't matter if you do it for money - unless you hate your job (I know you don't enjoy it much Simone but most ladies here say that they like their work) then you're still having sex with other people and enjoying it. Your partner ought to be able to do the same.
Honestly, I'm surprised any prostitutes want to even consider attempting monogamy given how many of our clients are 'monogamous' married men. We've all seen first hand how monogamy doesn't work and destroys honesty and trust in relationships. Who'd want that?
Obviously I'm not saying that you should tell your partner things that will make them uncomfortable - my fiance probably wouldn't like it if I was comparing him to my clients - but if I couldn't talk about my work I wouldn't be at all happy in a relationship. Yes, I tell my fiance if a client gives me an orgasm. My fiance never has trouble giving me multiple orgasms so it's hardly going to make him feel inadequate. And I tell him if I get a hot client because it makes a nice change. I also tell him if I've had a terrible, rough, rude, smelly client. He tells me if he's had a good/funny/interesting day at work, I do the same. It's a job. I also chat about my casual sex partners.
Simone, your case is a bit unusual because YOU are not ok with your job - you don't like it, neither does he. It's something you're suffering through as a couple. It is completely different for an escort who loves or even is just 'ok' with her work, and has a partner who is unhappy with it. That's judgemental bullshit no one should put up with.
Finally, the sex act thing. I have sex to get something. Those somethings vary. With a client, it's to get money. Anything else is a bonus. With casual free partners it's to get pleasure. With my fiance it's pleasure + connection. Different sex acts get different somethings. Anal gets me more clients, therefore more money (although I don't charge extra for it). So I do it with clients. It doesn't get me pleasure and it sure as hell isn't romantic, so no one else gets it. In theory, if my fiance paid me or offered to do something he hates in exchange (housework :D) then I might be up for it. There are no sex acts exclusively for my fiance - I don't think we need anything exclusive precisely because the trust and honesty are there, so he knows that I love him and I'm not comparing him or losing interest in him for my other partners, because if I wasn't happy with him I wouldn't be here, so he doesn't need to be jealous.
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Guys, just a gentle reminder that this topic is quite incendiary at the best of times, so please try to keep calm - I only say this because I just had a ranty post composed in my head that I've only just about managed to squish! I think we all have strong views on this topic, being smart and experienced women, but unless you have some more general/vague/un-emotive advice for the OP, it's probably a good idea to move to PMs or drop the subject of what relationships everyone should be having.
Also: Can we all stop massively generalising men and women?! "Men are hard-wired to want to pay the bills", "men hate their women to cheat on them", "men are apparently simplistic and oafish morons who can't handle complicated emotions or situations", etc, is all a bunch of nonsense unfortunately currently supported by pseudo-science (read: evolutionary psychology). But talking this way about men and women is meaningless. I might as well write an essay called, All Men Like Sausages: A Review Of How Men Evolved To Prefer Meaty Tubes.
To the OP: I think your boyfriend is trying to cope with your work because he wants to continue having hot sex with you, or endless philosophic conversations, or whatever you guys do together. ;) He was probably jarred by your decision to choose work over him - maybe he imagines your romance was fated by the Gods and is surprised that you don't have similar lady-feelings. Either way, nobody here can predict what you should do next. Have you tried going with what feels right? :)
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Actually, no offence Krystal but I think your situation is the unusual one.
As to being surprised that any prostitute would attempt a monogamous relationship without being honest and still doing this job, wake up. No one really wants to think because they are a hooker they don't deserve loyalty. Everybody wants love, not many people a brave enough to heap that stuff on someone they like and have only just met. If you do not believe me, go and look at the responses to a thread I started on Escort Ireland named 'could you marry an escort?'- that will give you a flavour of some men's real opinions. Most solvent men would run a mile when faced with the fact that you are on the game, rights or wrongs aside who really wants their girlfriend to have sex for money? Not many men. I applaud you your honest approach but please don't think for one moment that it is a standard situation.
I also agree with some of Miss J's points, and a couple of yours. This is one of the most emascualting jobs possible for a partner, good luck to any trying to make it work.
I would also point out that life changes constantly, as do people. You may not love that job quite so much in a few years.
To the OP, relationships are hard, but some special men can cope. I truly hope that yours can, but if he can't get rid of him, it will only get worse.
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There are maybe a few men in the world who can really deal with this job. Other you can search for the man who will totally accept it or stay single. Staying single does not mean that you must not have other kinds of relationships only not the one that involves monagamic sex. It's just my point of view, I think of what is best and will be good both for the relations and the work what we do.
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It is an unfortunate side of the game that escorts often have to choose between their relationship and their work . I am in a relationship and I escort. My partner knows all about it and has done since before we got together. He is my security and sometimes gives me lifts to outcalls so he knows I am safe. He doesn't gain anything financially out of my work apart from me paying half the bills etc. He just considers it my job and actually said before that I don't really sale my body, I rent it. To which I responded 'yes and I have given it to you'.
We have been together for just under a year and I have been escorting for 5 months during that and the only problem I sometimes get from him is that he will come up with ideas about my business which I am in the process of nipping that in the bud. Its my business and if I want help I'll ask for it thankyou!
This is just my relationship and I am not saying this to tell girls this is how you should do it because every relationship has a different dynamic and what works for me may not work for someone else.
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Thats a lovely post Paris. It'd be great if all guys were as well adjusted as your man. I can still understand why some guys don't like their gfs being paid for sex mind you but still....
And you're not crazy but saying you'd feed his balls to the dogs lol! You should expect monogamy unless you have agreed on an open relationship imo. ;)
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lovely post P, hope for the whole love thing after all.
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Sorry but as someone who has also being in a relationship for 4 years and escorting for 2 of those i find myself agreeing with some of the points made in Miss Jamesons post.
I'm not saying for a second that i am right and others are wrong just that different things work for different people and to dismiss Miss Jamesons post as 'awful' is unfair as in my opinion i think shes made some valid points. Yes maybye they go slightly against the grain of being an empowered woman who takes no shit but sometimes when your dealing with human emotions (and especially men's fragile egos) what should be right in theory doesnt always work in reality.
Thank you Ms. Simone, :)
But honestly, they're not my thoughts. These are the rantings of a lady who has been married for 22 years that has been there for several ladies when relationships and child custody cases take a turn for the worse. Personally, I have got to loosen up just to GET a boyfriend. As a single woman, I find this empowering because I'm not a slave to sex or money or the feelings that plague the civvie woman. When I find that special one man, I don't think I will HAVE to do this anymore. I shouldn't have to. But my circumstances are different from a lot of ladies.
Personally, a man too cool with the idea that I'm a WG would kind of scare me a bit, and I would look for his inner pimp to come out at any time. So I have opted to stay relationship free until my set retiring date. I think a man with an understanding is a great asset. I would still hope to find a man that I can talk to about this when it's over, and he can still look at me as a lady capable of being in a relationship (which I'm contemplating even now. I've been too independent for too long and sex is the least of my worries.). But my opinionated friend told me that when I bury Tiffani Jameson, her adventures should cease to exist in my mind. I would hope that wouldn't be the case, but statistically, it's looking that way.
For the record:
* I agree that relationships aren't SUPPOSED to be a feminist boost at all. It is a shift of the absolute power of "I" into the power of "WE". Considering his feelings towards being a working girl shouldn't be considered 'pacifying' him, just being considerate.
* Men ARE hardwired to be the providers, in the same way that humans are hardwired to be monogamous. In times like these, more people- good ones at that, are unemployed. It shouldn't stop you from caring for them or finding them attractive, but being a prossie with an unemployed hubby or boyfriend is a recipe for disaster whether you like it or not. A man who loves you WANTS to take care of you. Having to sell your body when he can't provide is a blow to the ego.
I applaud anyone who is making this work while being a working girl. I only hoped that my friend's words would help some of you put things in perspective, from where I had none. I hope there is hope for love for all of us, Lucy.
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I dont think its playing games...I think its not discussing everything with them. Make perfect sense.
Honesty may be the best policy, but silence is golden. Out of sight, out of mind. I would never discuss client things with a date, many times I prevent them from asking me about it.
Nothing wrong with throwing away roses, they're dead anyway! Whats important is to admire the gift, thank him for the gift...and then secretly toss it.
But to me, I dont give a fuck. I have kept everything from empty expensive bottles of liquor to 'thankyou' cards that had 1,000s of dollars inside. To me, keeping those things from a client is like a keep-sake. Its a constant reminder that it is possible to get to the top, and a reminder that there's no reason to settle for less when there are clients willing to pay top-dollar for my time.
To me, anything a client gives me is worth keeping.
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* Men ARE hardwired to be the providers, in the same way that humans are hardwired to be monogamous. In times like these, more people- good ones at that, are unemployed. It shouldn't stop you from caring for them or finding them attractive, but being a prossie with an unemployed hubby or boyfriend is a recipe for disaster whether you like it or not. A man who loves you WANTS to take care of you. Having to sell your body when he can't provide is a blow to the ego.
I'm sorry, but argh. This is not *true* anymore than saying All Women Are Obsessed With Shoes is true. Try reading this (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/15/girls-boys-think-same-way) - of course it's an issue of great complexity, but frankly, the only TRUE conclusion is that we don't know anything about the human mind or why it is like it is. The most recent research, however, appears to suggest that the human mind (including social needs, emotional desires and sexuality) is completely fluid and (mostly/partly) depends on how you're brought up. Which is GOOD, for god's sake! The idea that I'll never meet a man who is different to this terrible and cliched archetype of The Provider Who Must Be In Control Of His Woman "because that's what cave men were like" makes me want to just lay down and die. Luckily, I know lots of men who aren't like this at all, proving my personal hypothesis that if you only know one type of man or one type of woman, you are either very blinkered and/or socially conditioned by the popular media, or you just don't know many people. ???
The good thing is, there are so many different kinds of people out there - not to mention, people can start out one way and end up being a completely different way - that we should never have to put up with a bollocksy relationship. We should all be able to find what we, personally, need. However, that does make it quite difficult to make sweeping and judgemental, gendered statements about people so we might have to stop doing that. It's always nice to hear stories about a relationship working out amazingly but it's quite unnecessary for anyone to extrapolate from their own stories rules that everyone else should follow. :)
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The right person will not always be necessarily be 'alright' with you being an escort. My fiance is the right person for me and i love him to death and before i worked as an escort we hardly had a cross word in 2 years. Me working as an escort was a financial decision and has caused us a huge amount of pain. He doesn't like the woman he loves having sex for cash and to be honest if he was simply 'OK' with it i think i would find that more upsetting.
I agree with all this and especially the last part. Sometimes a woman has to be with men she doesnt love for the man she does. You do what you have to do for the money, and then you do what you have to do when it comes to love and relationships. I myself brought up and mentioned doing this to my bf/fianc? and he did not go for the idea AT ALL even though it would only be for the money which especially he could use as he's no job for a while and will prob be like that a long time to come. At first and for a bit I was annoyed by his not being practical, but then I reminded myself that it was BECAUSE of his jealous and possessiveness and hence, making it clear if I were to be one that would be a dealbreaker, which makes me want to stick by him. His level of 'ownership' over me is do unlike anyone else that even though we are literally in a half a world apart long distance relationship and it's costing ME quite a bit of money for the phone calls and my airfare/travel insurance etc (as he really has little money), I do it.
He's do unlike so many other guys who only want you for disposable fun, don't mind sharing you, in other words just don't give a damn about you except for the happy times. Since we live so far I doubt - hope - there's no way he'll ever find put and it's a secret I can keep.
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* Men ARE hardwired to be the providers, in the same way that humans are hardwired to be monogamous. In times like these, more people- good ones at that, are unemployed. It shouldn't stop you from caring for them or finding them attractive, but being a prossie with an unemployed hubby or boyfriend is a recipe for disaster whether you like it or not. A man who loves you WANTS to take care of you. Having to sell your body when he can't provide is a blow to the ego.
I'm sorry, but argh. This is not *true* anymore than saying All Women Are Obsessed With Shoes is true. Try reading this (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/15/girls-boys-think-same-way) - of course it's an issue of great complexity, but frankly, the only TRUE conclusion is that we don't know anything about the human mind or why it is like it is.
Sorry but I think what Tiffany is saying is (unfortunately) true in the sense that I don't think its her opinion exactly (am I right here Tiffany?) but societys' opinion, despite the research. Even though I totally relate to the research it's not going to change peoples' views all of a sudden.
I do agree that it is just that - societys' views but in the world we actually live in men DO automatically assume they should be the provider whether we like it or not (and I don't). And yes its because its the way they/we have been brought up especially the older generation, but it will take many many generations to change these views. It is already changing of course thank goodness. A lot of men are being stay at home dads whilst the woman works etc etc.
I also think (and have done for ages) that its not natural for humans to be with one partner for life. I am single and the thought of waking up beside the same person for the rest of my days scares the shit out of me. A few years with someone is enough thanks very much. ;D
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I do agree that it is just that - societys' views but in the world we actually live in men DO automatically assume they should be the provider whether we like it or not (and I don't). And yes its because its the way they/we have been brought up especially the older generation, but it will take many many generations to change these views. It is already changing of course thank goodness. A lot of men are being stay at home dads whilst the woman works etc etc.
Quite - bring on those future generations who don't feel obliged to confine themselves within strict gender roles. Of course it's going to take a long time. But the more women go around saying, "I'm a silly lady and can't do maths" or the more men go around saying, "I had to slap my wife for being uppity" the more time it's going to bloody take.
I also think (and have done for ages) that its not natural for humans to be with one partner for life. I am single and the thought of waking up beside the same person for the rest of my days scares the shit out of me. A few years with someone is enough thanks very much. ;D
See? Just a few years ago we'd all have looked at you like you were bonkers and broken. Luckily, I think acceptance of the huge variance in human needs is growing rapidly. Thank god. :)
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stop it, oh cynical ones. I am still holding out for the happy ending!
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See? Just a few years ago we'd all have looked at you like you were bonkers and broken.
Alas Emily Jones, only yesterday someone looked at me in this manner. For no reason. I didn't even know them.
;D ;D
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Escorts deserve love too
My boyfriend knows what i do... hes fine with it at the end of the day its a job
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I had a client who calls and texts me every day and has let it be known that he would really love to have a relationship with me. (A long-term one...)
He's a really nice guy, but I can't get it out of my head that, maybe, all he really wants is the free love!
I did discuss this with one of the girls I am very close to, and she suggested that I tell him that we can go out on dates etc, but for the time being - if he wants sex, then he should pay for it. I guess that would sort him out, one way or another, lol.
He text me earlier to ask if I would like to go out for a meal and drinks with him, and that he would book an hotel for the night - would I be up for that? To which I asked if this was a booking. He asked if I was going to charge him for the dinner, but I replied no - only if you want sex.
He replied that we would only have sex if it was what I wanted, and that he would be more than happy with just a cuddle (but we all know where cuddles can lead, lol).
Obviously he knows what I do, and he has already suggested that there are other ways of making money, but I have told him in no uncertain terms that I love what I do and NO-one is ever going to stop me doing it until I am ready to quit (which won't be any time soon).
So, for the shear fact that he has already made that suggestion and we haven't even been on a date, it has annoyed me. Even though he insists that he can handle what I do...
Hmmmm, I wonder... ::)
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Hey Susan
If you are a loose end, why not? It saves you having to find someone to play with and at least you don't have to lie. Just make sure he pays for it in other ways.
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Thing is - I have been single (by choice) for about 3 years now, and I really would love to be in a relationship with a guy. The hugs, cuddles and love are so very different than those that we receive on a pay-by-hour basis.. But I don't want to be in one just because I do!
I think I should take it one step at a time for now - I'll go to dinner and on other dates with him for the time being - just to see how we really get on together, but if he wants that little bit more, well - he'll have to pay.
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He replied that we would only have sex if it was what I wanted, and that he would be more than happy with just a cuddle (but we all know where cuddles can lead, lol).
It sounds like you're handling the situation with exemplary patience and foresight so I haven't much to add, except avoid that particular situation (the, er, 'cuddles') at all costs else you'll almost certainly end up having sex for free, either due to being a bit sozzled post-dinner (ha, that might just be me there :P) and/or just feeling obliged. I mean, when a poor bloke's poking you in the back with his little hard-on, you have to be seriously clear-headed to stand up and explain that you mean no offense but can he please stop that. And no matter what you'll say, it'll probably end up in an emotional show-down when he realises that he can't just guilt-trip (/cuddle) you into giving him freebies and so goes all out to try and convince you (see: shouting; tears; tantrums) before giving up and going off in a huff, never to speak to you again except perhaps via truculent little emails just to remind you now and then of how badly you hurt his feewings.
Of course if you decide you want to have freebies with him, then go ahead! But it sounds like you might have a similar thing to me: once a guy goes into the 'client' compartment in my head, he stays there FOREVER. So the only way to avoid little sad-man-faces is to avoid being in a remotely sexual situation with him. Hard when a lot of men have no idea what they want or what they're doing, but being open and honest and firm at all times helps.
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Lol, Emily - that's brought a smile to my face ;D (I needed the smile too as I'm not well today *sigh*)
I think I'll just keep him dangling a bit. IF he SHOULD happen to come over to Glasgow (he lives in Edinburgh) and decide to book an hotel, the great thing is that I can still go home .... he can have the cuddles on the hotel doorstep as I wait for the taxi, lol...
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well tomorrow i have been married 11 years ;D
Congratulations on your 11th anniversary Paris and it is greatthat everything has worked out to date.
I personally don't think I will be able to handle both sides so I am sticking with just escorting for now no relationships yet.
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well tomorrow i have been married 11 years ;D
Happy anniversary Paris and Mr Paris! That's made me fill up a bit, that has :D.
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I'm sorry, but argh. This is not *true* anymore than saying All Women Are Obsessed With Shoes is true. Try reading this (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/15/girls-boys-think-same-way) - of course it's an issue of great complexity, but frankly, the only TRUE conclusion is that we don't know anything about the human mind or why it is like it is.
Sorry but I think what Tiffany is saying is (unfortunately) true in the sense that I don't think its her opinion exactly (am I right here Tiffany?) but societys' opinion, despite the research. Even though I totally relate to the research it's not going to change peoples' views all of a sudden.
I do agree that it is just that - societys' views but in the world we actually live in men DO automatically assume they should be the provider whether we like it or not (and I don't). And yes its because its the way they/we have been brought up especially the older generation, but it will take many many generations to change these views. It is already changing of course thank goodness. A lot of men are being stay at home dads whilst the woman works etc etc.
I also think (and have done for ages) that its not natural for humans to be with one partner for life. I am single and the thought of waking up beside the same person for the rest of my days scares the shit out of me. A few years with someone is enough thanks very much. ;D
Quite true, Ms. Cherry. Emily, I said 'like humans were hardwired to be monogamous' and we are not. Nature proves that women are the better providers. Look at all the matriarchal animal societies that function best because women run them. But I believe that there are all kinds of men, including men that wouldn't eat or have a place to stay if they didn't have a woman. But as a woman, and as a human, I look for my equal. And honestly I'm so conflicted with the whole thing. Sometimes I look around and I would love a good man. Then when I'm nursing my sisters, cousins, and brothers about their relationships I sigh with relief.
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Susan - if a client told me he wanted to date I would think automatically he just wants a free ride. The only way to try to ensure that's not the case would be if you were to not have sex with him for a decent enough period of time (say a 3 month 'probationary' period or something like that) to hopefully clear up that he's not using you. I would say this would be very difficult esp. on his end as it would be a case of him figuratively going from walking to crawling instead of the other way around - to go from a 'relationship' that started with and was based on the sexual to now being platonic I think would be an enormous feat for most men.
In my research before doing this I remember coming across a piece where working girls were warning newbies not to fall for it when clients tell them they want to be their boyfriend because the only reason they want them as a girlfriend is to get free sex and no longer pay.
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Lets get that can of worms prised open ;D
I'm guessing we all fall roughly into one of the following categories..
1) In a relationship, partner knows about job
2) In a relationship, partner doesn't know about job
3) Single (This is mine)
And I have questions for all three, because I am "the nosiest person who ever snooped the face of the earth" (according to everyone else) or "fascinated by other people" (according to me)
1) Is your partner genuinely comfortable with what you do?
2) Do you worry about getting found out?
3) Would you get into a relationship while you are working? How would you approach the subject?
I'm finding that working is making me not want to be in a relationship. For me, it requires a degree of detachment from other people. But then what happens if I meet someone really fit? ;)
Anyone wants to share their thoughts, please do...
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I was with my partner before I started escorting (although not for long) and he has been incredible. He supports me, made my website and give me advice on underwear for clients! Sometimes he does get awkward, but we avoid this by not going into intimate details about bookings and me having a separate room to work in aside from our bedroom. He knows that come about 5pm I am entirely his. Obviously everyone is not the same, and I know a lot of girls say they would not want to be with someone who is okay with it, but it works for me! I think it does help that we were mates for about 5 years before getting together. I only post this (I have talked about it before on this forum) to hopefully show you can have a good relationship and escort as I think sometimes it must feel impossible.
Ruby
x
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Hey
I'm am just starting out and I'm married. My hubby knows my intentions. We use to swing and have a very open relationship which I think helps.
Hubby is quite happy, and knows that Ill hopfully enjoy what i do.
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I have been escorting on and off for 6 years now and I used to always keep it a secret from my partners, getting found out a few months later and all the waterworks that came with it so I stopped.
Now, I have been doing it part-time for 3 years and my current partner knows about it. He supports me and drives me to outcalls and just wants to make sure I am safe. I only offer incalls when he is at work, like Ruby come 5pm he knows its just him and me. He ensures me he has no problem with the job as its the oldest profession in the world and I pay my taxes so won't get in trouble lol. My family and friends nearly all know, but I have a full time job as well. These are the people I don't want to know.
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I was single for 3 years prior to starting working and always thought I would remain single while working in the industry, and if I did get a man I wouldn't tell him
However, best laid plans can go awry! A few months after I stared working I met a guy...I didn't plan on dating him and he didn't know any of my other friends so I told him about my job. He's OK with it, surprisingly so. He's 38 and I think guys that aren't in their 20s generally have a bit more perspective and are more open-minded.
The funny thing is that he would really hate to see me flirting or similar with another guy if it wasn't work related.
I think the key is to be strict about the boundaries ie. when you are with your partner, they should have your full attention.
Sometimes it can be difficult sexually - if you've been giving clients head all day then there will be times when the last thing you want is to come home and have another willy that wants attention...!!
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1) In a relationship, partner knows about job
2) In a relationship, partner doesn't know about job
3) Single
1) Is your partner genuinely comfortable with what you do?
2) Do you worry about getting found out?
3) Would you get into a relationship while you are working? How would you approach the subject?
In the first section, I'm number 1.
In the second section, my replies are:
1) Not completely, but he's happy as long as I'm happy and safe, and he's happier since I started doing duos with a friend of ours (because of the safety, not the perving, lol)
2) No, but I'd rather my private life wasn't local knowledge. Wouldn't really want my family to know, but I could prolly make good excuses as to why I do it.
3) can't really answer that, as I'm already in a relationship (which I was in long before I started whoring)
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Sometimes it can be difficult sexually - if you've been giving clients head all day then there will be times when the last thing you want is to come home and have another willy that wants attention...!!
So very true!
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Happily Married. Partner knows and is very involved. We don't escort together I don't know how I'd feel about that but pics, movies, the odd cam occasion. He's very hands on ;D
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Happily Married. Partner knows and is very involved. We don't escort together I don't know how I'd feel about that but pics, movies, the odd cam occasion. He's very hands on ;D
I'm trying to persuade Mr CatBBW to join me on cam and movies and pics. So far he's been too scared!
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My ex knows what I do for a living and during the relationship he was very supportive although I'm sure it was hard on him. I told him what I did before it got serious to give him a chance to walk away without getting hurt as I thought it would be easier than finding out in other ways.
Since the relationship ended I miss that support and feel almost (but not quite) jealous of the ladies here who have husbands/partners that know about the job.
As it is, I'm single now and I'm not particularly interested in getting into another relationship any time soon. Every relationship I've had has caused my social life to suffer somehow and I'm now enjoying being able to spend more time with friends and having them over to watch the latest NFL games with a glass of wine.
And although I don't have a 'significant other' in my life just now I worry about being 'outed' still - I've had clients that work with a relative here and so far they haven't seen any resemblance yet it's still often in the back of my mind. "What if I mentioned something similar to what he may have mentioned at the office?" kind of thing. So far so good so I'll just count my blessings and carry on.
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I have tried being in a relationship where my partner knows what I do, and it really didn't work. I was disappointed, but...also kinda relieved. I don't want a boyfriend who is happy with what I do, but also...how dare he ask me to stop? A man couldn't win with me, so single is better ::)
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Happily Married. Partner knows and is very involved. We don't escort together I don't know how I'd feel about that but pics, movies, the odd cam occasion. He's very hands on ;D
I'm trying to persuade Mr CatBBW to join me on cam and movies and pics. So far he's been too scared!
Get him involved behind the scenes first. Get his opinion on things. Ideas for movies etc ;)
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Get him involved behind the scenes first. Get his opinion on things. Ideas for movies etc ;)
Yep, that's the route I'm taking, but I've started at the PICS opinions and suggestions...and he still doesn't want to play :-[
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I have tried being in a relationship where my partner knows what I do, and it really didn't work. I was disappointed, but...also kinda relieved. I don't want a boyfriend who is happy with what I do, but also...how dare he ask me to stop? A man couldn't win with me, so single is better ::)
Exactly! ;D
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Couldn't agree more with Ladyjennaj in that.
I have also never had a relationship in which I didn't feel suffocated and overwhelmed with the attention and committment that is needed, so escorting works perfectly for me.
Just 1 or 2 hours with each 'boyfriend' ;) once or twice a month and I kiss them goodbye and walk away.
They don't know my name, where I live, who I REALLY am.
I get no whingeing, no demands of where I am/what time will I be back/who I am with etc, etc..and they STILL give me enough money collectively to pay my bills and live quite comfortably.
It's a win-win for me but only because I am happy to be single now..XX
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I personally cannot imagine having a relationship whilst I'm escorting. I was single when I started 10 months ago and single still. I just cannot imagine having the energy to have yet MORE SEX after a day of having it with clients and I can't see that I would be able to commit emotionally either.
I think had I started escorting whilst in a relationship that would be a whole different ball game. I would worry meeting someone new about what the effect my telling them I was an escort would have, and if things went wrong with the relationship then I might be outed. For me I don't think it would be worth it.
Having said that life is not always predictable, who knows what might be round the corner.
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I personally cannot imagine having a relationship whilst I'm escorting. I was single when I started 10 months ago and single still. I just cannot imagine having the energy to have yet MORE SEX after a day of having it with clients and I can't see that I would be able to commit emotionally either.
I think had I started escorting whilst in a relationship that would be a whole different ball game. I would worry meeting someone new about what the effect my telling them I was an escort would have, and if things went wrong with the relationship then I might be outed. For me I don't think it would be worth it.
Having said that life is not always predictable, who knows what might be round the corner.
God I know. Imagine having to have sex again after all that work? :-\
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Talking prior to commitment is the answer.
It's fairer on both parties.
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Got married over a year ago to an absolute bastard it must be noted. Met the git on PlentyOfFish.com of all places. Was upfront from our initial conversation. Once the control freak had me where he wanted me that's when it became a problem.
He couldn't get his fat head around my working was working and only that and did not give him the right to then go and book an escort and spend our hard earned money on having sex with another woman. Anyway I'm divorcing the scum of the earth so that's that.
Met the fiance 6months ago. We lived in the same area so he had heard the rumours. Neither of us mentioned to eachother that we both knew the other knew untill a few weeks into being together when it came up in a deep chat in bed.
He is an absolute gem and knows that my work is work and that is all, he doesn't for a second doubt my monogamy nor my love for him. We now offer live porn shows and he drives me to my outcalls and helps me get ready for my incalls however never would he tolerate another man touching me infront of him.
We're a very traditional/old fashioned couple and he's extremely over-protective and jealous but this is something that we make work and he copes with really well.
Initially there were alot of questions and hypothetical situations but that's pretty much died down. He does like a little reassurance on a working day though, just an extra "I love you" or a cuddle etc. And he insists on being the first and last man inside me each day I work.
He has a ridiculously high sex drive, we are at it like at least 5 times every single day, most days more and whilst it's great etc etc after a hard days work of maybe 7+ guys it is bloody knackering. Obviously the sex is alot better and all that but sometimes you're just too dam sore. I feel guilty sometimes when I have to turn him down if I feel a bad bout of thrush or cystitis coming on and I know I have a busy day following. It's like I'm keeping myself good for my clients and I'm sure that hurts him but he understands.
I find or atleast I did (I think I still do) that him being so ok with it bothers me. It crossed my mind that either a) he is a pervert and gets off on it b) he is using me for my money c) he doesn't care that much for me/he's cheating etc d) he's very liberal and open minded. But then again if he was to not be ok with it I'd be pissed off, he can't win, bless him!
I think it can be a head fuck when you're in a relationship. It's a head fuck of a job anyway but to try and deal with your own emotions and that of someone you're with can be quite the juggle.
I definately think it helps (me and) him deal with it that my mum, dad, brothers and friends all know what I do. He doesn't just see me as "that aul blonde prossy" but as an intelligent independent loving woman.
Natalie Xx
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1) In a relationship, partner knows about job
Yep.
He knew 18 months prior to us dating
and 12 months prior to us meeting socially
1) Is your partner genuinely comfortable with what you do?
Nope. He really wishes I did something else.
But it's part of the deal of going out with me.
And he is hugely supportive.
He sounds fab Jodie, someone who can support you despite not being entirely confortable with what you do.
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Well i am in a relationship and no he does not know what i do at all. Well to be honest, i probblery know i should not but he is one of the reasons why im doing this......hes not helping me with bills and living!!!!!period.
Im not saying hes the total reason to why ive takern up this erotic profession beats my other jobs looool in the offices etc...as i do have a job but its on a low income and is not paying for my type of lifestyle to say the least.
Regarding him hes my dream in the the looks department and the type of guy he is and his personality but hes just so mean with his money and no hes not paying my bills neither does he help really....taking me out for a meal is not paying the bills on the table!!!logics....
Sorry to rant loool...but im the one that has to pay the bills, while he visits and paractially empty's his *****lool. So yes im making and earning a living like the man next door, say no more. Also, at times l really feel that its just me that has to pay the bills not him, so whats a independant lady to do?
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Tanya2011 does he live with you? Does he know you're maybe struggling? Could you talk to him about helping you out more? Not so as you have to stop escorting but so as you'd maybe feel less used and respect him more. Not saying that you don't respect him but I know I wouldn't and I didn't with my ex who was like that.
Natalie Xx
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A supportive partner certainly helps.
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I do sometimes miss the intimacy side of relationships - hugs, genuine affection and such - but I'm just not sure I would be happy being with someone who was totally ok with it. :-\
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My other half knows and is completely supportive but he he never wants to know any of the details. I work from a separate premises, have different clothes, different makeup and different perfumes. I like the fact that its separate and I can forget all about work when I'm back home with him.
The only occasional bone of contention is the money I earn. He doesnt mind it being spent on the house etc but he wont let me ever spend it on 'him' so I have to do some creative juggling at Christmas and when we're planning holidays etc.
God I know. Imagine having to have sex again after all that work? :-\
I have to say this is never an issue. He's mine and I'm his and nothing else that goes on at work comes close to what we do. (I dont mean that we have a spectacular sex life, we're like any other couple in that its hard to find time for the two of us when were not knackered and stressed and actually have the bed to ourselves rather than it being full of kids and dogs and the cat and half of someones skateboard etc. Just that even the quickest, most boring missionary shag with him is better than the wildest PSE I do at work.)
R xx
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([...] Just that even the quickest, most boring missionary shag with him is better than the wildest PSE I do at work.)
That's honestly adorable! And should go on a new range of Valentine's cards for partnered-up hussies in 2012. ;D
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([...] Just that even the quickest, most boring missionary shag with him is better than the wildest PSE I do at work.)
That's honestly adorable! And should go on a new range of Valentine's cards for partnered-up hussies in 2012. ;D
Bless you guys! So cute :-*
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I'm in an amazing relationship with a wonderful man. When we started out I was on the bones of my arse and told him on our first date that escorting was my intension. We built my first profile together when I started he took the pics and even joined me on a few calls.He's very very supportive But I had to stop for personal reasons. Then a year later we dug the profile out from seeking to offering and we haven't looked back since................in fact we are getting married on Valentines Day in Thailand. Also it doesn't matter how busy I have been during the day..........I still can't get enough of him! xxx
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Am a solo act these days ! I do not wish for a relationship,husband or babies at all; but love sex and being naughty with guys , so this escorting job is currently ideal for me . I dont now go on the pull,or have the let down of the disaster dates with guys, or the one night stands. I dont do dodgy internet dating or get set up with a friends sad single mate ! best of all I dont have to justify why im single to anyone + I really just am too independant .
MISS RUBY
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My friends call me the Ice Queen for a reason.... While at work the GFE is my thing, in the real world I find that being super emotionally close to another person feels strange. I love my independence, freedom, and ability to fuck off and disappear whenever I feel like it... monogamous relationships mean forfeiting that!
Nay, relationships are not for me. Fuckbuddies on the other hand...
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I've been working weekends and some evenings for a year and been single the whole time as I've also been at Uni so I've seriously not had a spare second! Thing is though, I'm the type that would probably have to be totally upfront about it if I was interested in more than a casual relationship, even though that prospect is a bit terrifying. I'm not full-time so I'm not sure how long I'll be doing this for as I'm at Uni for another two years and am planning other things... I'll have to hope Mr Right holds off until I'm done so I can avoid that awkward conversation ;)
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I started doing this when me and my ex broke up, we had been together for 2 years and I missed him like mad! Now we're back together and I rely on the money too much to give it up! I've only taken one booking since we started again but I feel so guilty now I don't know what to do!! Has anyone else been in this situation?? I know if I told him he'd be horrified and definitely would not support the decision, if I carry on and not tell him I'm effectively cheating I guess and if he ever found out it;d break his heart :(. Or, I could go back to using the day job wages and being broke and miserable. Help please!! Apologies for the long, ranting moan there!! (: So envious of you girls that have supportive partners!! Lucky things!! ;)
xx
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I think if you went back to your day job that you say makes you miserable you might end up resenting him for it which would obviously spoil the relationship anyway so it's probably best to just be upfront about it, if you feel that continuing to escort without his knowledge is cheating. The best thing to do would probably be to just say to him that you started doing this job after you split up, you enjoy it and make a lot of money and there's a very clear and distinct line between the sex you sell and the sex you have in a relationship. It does take a very particular type of man and a strong relationship for him to be comfortable with it but you obviously don't want to hurt him so I think it's your best option.
I should also mention that I don't think escorting is actually cheating... to me, cheating only occurs when the desire for sex/intimacy is fulfilled elsewhere without the OH's knowledge. However, as I'm sure most here would agree, the decision to have sex with a client is very rarely, if ever, out of physical attraction and the desire for sex alone! If you can separate what you do in your working hours from what you do with a boyfriend then, in my mind, it's not cheating.
Also, if you feel like you are cheating and you find yourself with a client that you ARE extremely attracted to, wouldn't that make it difficult to actually go through with the 'secret' booking? I know it's incredibly difficult to do, but I think if you don't tell him you'll find it might negatively effect your job, too, and you'll just wind up even more unhappy.
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I'm in a relationship, and my partner knows about it :)
I started working as an escort in January 2010, and by that time I was already close friends with him and we were having casual sex but as we'd both got out of serious relationships recently we weren't looking for anything serious. So I was already having sex with other people (including some of his friends!) and we weren't dating so it was a total non-issue when I started working, although he did worry about me a bit from a safety point of view to start with.
We ended up getting into a relationship not long after, but when we did I talked to him about my views of sex, monogamy etc. I don't really believe monogamy works for most people, and in a lot of relationships it's downright unethical because it's used to control normal desire and behaviour, and encourages jealousy which is an unhealthy dead end emotion. Idk, it's a pretty extreme view to have, even within the poly community most people are very pro monogamy they just think the alternatives are good too :P But that's how I've always seen it. He's always been monogamous before but he'd started thinking about non monogamy when he found out his ex girlfriend was cheating on him - he realised that he didn't care about the sex at all, but the fact that she'd lied to him and didn't care about his feelings. He said if she'd asked him for an open relationship because she wasn't satisfied sexually it would have been hard, but he'd have been ok with it. So he was open to trying a partnered non monogamous relationship (sex with others is ok, romantic involvement isn't).
Since then I've had casual partners, I've continued to work, and we've dabbled in group sex - and it's just normal to us. We've been married just over a year now and he's stuck by me through some really bad times - after a bad experience with a client I went through a time of extreme depression, no sex drive at all which meant I was still working but not having sex with him which must have been hard, and for a few months I was also using drugs (I'm totally clean now). Even before we got together I had issues from a rough past, I had a hard childhood and my last serious relationship became abusive towards the end so I had a lot to work through. He's been the one absolute stable thing in my life, incredibly supportive and never judged me for bad decisions while also being encouraging to help me fix the messes I've made. We've recently opened our relationship to full polyamory - we're open to having other romantic partners as well as sex partners - because we know that our relationship is strong enough and based on enough trust that nothing new could be a threat to it.
So really, what with mental illness and drugs and a screwed up past and me shagging everything with a pulse, a little bit of sex work doesn't even register as a challenge :P Obviously I'm not inside his head but as far as I can tell and based on how strong and awesome and intimate our relationship is I don't think he has any problem with it at all. The one thing left to find out is if he knows what to do with me now that I'm stable and mentally healthy...
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Thankyou Missthang for creating this thread, I've been very interested in hearing about other ladies experiences for some time! I've been under the naive impression that any half decent man wouldn't put up with it unless he's a raving swinger.
I met a guy a bit over 2yrs ago on a dating website & I lied about what I did for a living. He found out a few weeks into our relationship but has stuck around & we are still close. We have a friends with benefits relationship now that works most of the time. We sometimes each have a wobble & think it's totally dysfunctional. When we first met he had this weird habit of dirty talk with fantasy scenarios of me with other men. (Before he knew what I did) This totally spun me out mentally & I thought it was very odd. It's never happened to me & I'm not fantastic at dirty talk anyway. ( Other ladies would have though way hey this will work out nicely probably.)
Now he sometimes asks about what I've done at work & it disgusts him when he's not horny but titivates him when he is!! I just can't win! It does bug me if he's staying at my house & I'm knackered from work & he wants a BJ. But alas Men are very selfish beings aren't they.
The problem is that he get too close sometimes & treats me like I'm still his girlfriend & has these fits of rage where he punches things around him. I have to push him away a little when he gets too close because the violent outburts worry me. I know he'd never pysically hurt me though but I find it very hard to trust people especially men. I think this job perpetuates my paranoia; if men from all walks of life cheat on their wives & partners....
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Thanks for your reply Miaken! I do keep thinking about the whole 'it's not really cheating thing' but I still feel insanely guilty!! I'm gonna suck it up and tell him, I'd rather that than he finds out on his own!! Wish me luck! :D xx
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I don't want a boyfriend who is happy with what I do, but also...how dare he ask me to stop?
My husband isn't happy but he wouldn't dare ask me to stop! Lol.
We were friends first and right now is not a good time to send out my CV, particularly as it's full of holes :-\
He copes with it as best he can, sometimes that's not good enough, but I refuse to let him take his anger and frustration out on me. From where I am, it's just a job. I need him to accept that and I'm so grateful that he's trying.
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Thanks for your reply Miaken! I do keep thinking about the whole 'it's not really cheating thing' but I still feel insanely guilty!! I'm gonna suck it up and tell him, I'd rather that than he finds out on his own!! Wish me luck! :D xx
Good luck! Let us know how you get on.
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Thanks for your reply Miaken! I do keep thinking about the whole 'it's not really cheating thing' but I still feel insanely guilty!! I'm gonna suck it up and tell him, I'd rather that than he finds out on his own!! Wish me luck! :D xx
I'm in a monogamous relationship and I don't consider working as cheating.
Cheating to me would be going out, meeting someone I think is cute, emotionally connecting with them, then having sex with them for free.
I have had an ex-partner initially ask me for monogamy, then later suggest that as I was 'having sex with other people' ie: my clients, then... You can guess the rest, yes? Basically my ex wanted a green card to cheat, while forcing me to remain monogamous. I pointed to the doorway.
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I am married and my partner knows what I do. I could not be with someone and keep lying to them. If you lie about it and get caught, how can you then get them to accept it when you (in their eyes) were too ashamed of what you do to tell them. Men do think differently to us. We are not ashamed of what we do but they will see our reluctance to tell them as such. Fickle creatures that they are.
It can be hard for any man to accept but if you are honest, explain that it is not for any sexual gratification on your part, perhaps show him some threads on here so he can see that it is just a job, he may find it easier to accept.
Why not just broach the subject to gauge his feelings. Bring into a conversation that an old friend is now escorting and making lots of money and see what he says. If he says something along the lines of good on her, then jokingly say, perhaps I should do it too and again gauge his reactions. Its how I started. My hubby and I were talking about someone we know who does it,, I 'jokingly' said I should give it a try and would need to dig out some details on safety etc and we both laughed. Next day he had printed off loads of info from the saafe main site and said read all of this, he was really suprised there was somewhere where I could get safety advice and it just went from there.
No matter what happens though, it has to be better than lying or keeping secrets as that does not make a healthy relationship. It will cause suspicion, resentment and no end of trouble plus you will be carrying around a guilt you should not have.
At the end of the day, it is just a job and it, for me anyway is a damn sight better than a menial job cleaning loos or sat in an office receiving no end of sexual remarks from the guys I worked with.
My marriage did suffer a few wobbles at the beginning, mainly down to his own insecurity, and now and then he will have a wobble about it BUT he knows he is the only man for me and my clients are just that, nothing more.
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I completely admire any guy that can handle it :) shows such strength of character and it really is admirable ;D Those of you in happy relationships are lucky ladies! x
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..And don't ever let your so/bf/hb spend too much time reading blogs about SW's ::)
Unbeknownst to me he's been attempting to 'educate' himself (my hubby) by going on to numerous sites set up by sex workers and their partners. Since then he's asked hundreds of questions, had a freak out about std's and generally made a fuss :-\
I finally put my foot down today (in a cafe) and after a mini-scene he has hopefully pulled himself together again.
I understand that it's difficult but I'm still so annoyed >:(
Luckily he is worth it :D
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i am in a long distance relationship, its nice knowing someone loves you from a distance but is not here to really know you or become annoying! lol i have always been in serious relationships, and now i am escorting and basically free i am really happy for once! i feel more in control than ever xx
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Cheating to me would be going out, meeting someone I think is cute, emotionally connecting with them, then having sex with them for free.
I think agreeing what counts as 'cheating' is key to a good relationship. For us it's 'Doing something we cant tell each other about' - and it doesn't necessarily have to do with sex.
Me sleeping with strangers for money = not cheating
Kissing someone for free = cheating
Secretly running up a huge credit card bill (as an example) = cheating
For us it's about the lying people do to cover up rather than the action itself. Its the dishonesty that causes the problems and is the source of the pain rather than the act of rubbing bits of anatomy together. I know thats not everyones view of 'cheating' - but it works for us :)
R xx
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I'm not technically in a relationship but I may as well be.
He knows about it. He is my neighbour and has been for a long while and has known since we first met, and he hasn't minded at all. In fact, we became great friends and then best mates and he became accepting and helpful, watching out for me.
He also really cares for and is great with my daughter.
We could well be taking the next step soon, and I think that if we do I couldn't be happier. And he's fairly laid back about it. I don't think that would change either.
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Rather than starting a new thread I found one that discusses (in a way) what I want to raise and it may be of interest to others.
I'm looking to settle down and meet Mr Right but do find it difficult to meet guys. When I'm out at a bar/club the guys are often after one thing; therefore, frustrating to get to know him.
To the singletons, how have you found someone that you've settled with? A lot of my friends have found there partners either during Uni or at work). I'm not keen on the idea of settling with someone from work (i.e. a client).
Anyone tried online dating or speed dating??
Lets get that can of worms prised open ;D
I'm guessing we all fall roughly into one of the following categories..
1) In a relationship, partner knows about job
2) In a relationship, partner doesn't know about job
3) Single (This is mine)
And I have questions for all three, because I am "the nosiest person who ever snooped the face of the earth" (according to everyone else) or "fascinated by other people" (according to me)
1) Is your partner genuinely comfortable with what you do?
2) Do you worry about getting found out?
3) Would you get into a relationship while you are working? How would you approach the subject?
I'm finding that working is making me not want to be in a relationship. For me, it requires a degree of detachment from other people. But then what happens if I meet someone really fit? ;)
Anyone wants to share their thoughts, please do...
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Don't do online dating - there's just a million army guys trying to get laid (and you won't get paid!).
Personally I couldn't do it, I couldn't date or be in a relationship whilst doing this job - there's too much potential for trouble when it (invariably) goes wrong.
But I'm quite cynical about men, and am more of a lone ranger so marriage has never been a priority for me. Kids yes, but you don't need a man to adopt (ten, I want ten kids of all different nationalities, two newfoundland dogs and a farm with some goats, a cow and a donkey called Bob ;D).
You'll find someone though, if you just pick the right, nice, trustworthy guy - and not the idealistic yet lay-about stoners that I'm partial to!xx
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I've met a lot of nice people through dating websites. The key is to be patient and very selective.
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But I'm quite cynical about men, and am more of a lone ranger so marriage has never been a priority for me. Kids yes, but you don't need a man to adopt (ten, I want ten kids of all different nationalities, two newfoundland dogs and a farm with some goats, a cow and a donkey called Bob ;D).
Ever thought about marrying a woman? If you're willing to grow vegetables as well, I'm popping the question today ;D
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I've met a lot of nice people through dating websites. The key is to be patient and very selective.
I am not patient, but very selective any suggestions? ;D
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My partner encouaraged me to start the job ! I work as a dom and I dont offer sex so I suppose its a bit different as I am not intimate in the conventional way, I dont think I could have sex and be in a lasting relationship with anyone and I know he couldnt deal with it either.
He is always in the next room or driving me to outcalls to make sure I am safe and I tell him all the details after !
How do all you girls detatch yourself mentally from your working sex and your personal sex with someone you love ? xx
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i have just met someone and i like him its the first time since being single over two years... i won,t be telling him yet or if at all as he lives 22 miles away and will be seeing him by arrangement to start... I will however bring up the subject delicately about escort work (not me just the job and girls doing the job) and see what sort of reaction he gives off.. watch this space girlies....lol i met him on POF my experience with the sites is to be very very patient, if it don,t work for a while have a break go back on...
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How do all you girls detatch yourself mentally from your working sex and your personal sex with someone you love ? xx
There is nothing to detach. It's not even comparable. They are completely different. Simple really.
It can seem like a big deal but only if you make it one in your head.
It's a job, plenty of people do things in there job that some people couldn't imagine doing... I mean come on Dentists....freaks! The persons who's job it is to stick cameras up peoples asses all day.... or my favourite the people that work at the sex clinic all day! Fun times! At least there is a higher chance of pleasantries vrs the unpleasants in our profession. And like the above mentioned we smile and get on with it but it's our job. My husband would never begrudge me a good day at work, he'd rather that than a bad one for sure.
Of course this only works if both partners can deal with it and get on, if one can't it will ultimately fall apart.
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When I first started back in, I was seeing someone. She suggested I get back into it. She helped me build my website and my exwife took photos. she adapted them to the website. She has also volunteered, even though we are no longer seeing each other, to be a safe call and if needed, an extra domme (no touch) or just a watcher if asked.
we still talk almost every morning and she often asks "you pullin cock today?" as a cheeky caring ask about how I am doing and how it's going. she sometimes asks me to take a day off and come hang out if she thinks I'm working too much or I need "normal company" she's also given me a stack of her cards (she's a tattoo artist) to give to clients.
Most of the people I know don't really give a shit. They don't really care and aren't that interested. which is nice. I'm not really in the closet about doing it because most people I know don't care. A lot of them go on marches for sex workers rights, even. I love my dyke mates! plus it's nice having a few dyke sexworker friends.
I haven't worked in a week as I'm not well. But I'm hoping I'll be back at it on Monday.
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Patience is definitely a virtue!
There are a lot of weird guys but I've met a couple of sweet mummies boys lol
I'm going to a speed dating event next week so I'll see how that goes
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If you asked me this question 6 months ago I would tell you I am in a rock solid relationship all in the open. Overnight that turned sour and money got in the way he has now gone and I am on my own and to be honest loving it. I have a few potentials in the pipe line and a few play mates where the sex is just for me and is god damm good. So overall I am reasonabaly happy with the situation. I would say to any one single find someone who blows you mind sexually and have fun, but be honest about what you do. If you have sex out side work make sure you get exacrly what you want at the end of the day if i am not going to be paid for it it has to be bloody good!
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How do all you girls detatch yourself mentally from your working sex and your personal sex with someone you love ? xx
There is nothing to detach. It's not even comparable. They are completely different. Simple really.
It can seem like a big deal but only if you make it one in your head.
It's a job, plenty of people do things in there job that some people couldn't imagine doing... I mean come on Dentists....freaks! The persons who's job it is to stick cameras up peoples asses all day.... or my favourite the people that work at the sex clinic all day! Fun times! At least there is a higher chance of pleasantries vrs the unpleasants in our profession. And like the above mentioned we smile and get on with it but it's our job. My husband would never begrudge me a good day at work, he'd rather that than a bad one for sure.
Of course this only works if both partners can deal with it and get on, if one can't it will ultimately fall apart.
I totally agree with this
sex with a client is nothing like sex with my LTB, its nowhere near comparable and I do not even see them both as the same 'act', its just different in a very hard to explain way xx
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I've met a lot of nice people through dating websites. The key is to be patient and very selective.
:)
We both met on OkCupid (online dating site) and fell in love, all the typical sickly sweet romantic stuff.. And then decided to get into this together. So, to answer the original questions not only are we both aware of everything that goes on, we both join in! It's so relieving to have another person that you can talk to and share the most intimate or gory details with, like dating a councillor! And having everything so out in the open is a huge bonus for open, honest, and totally transparent communication which is the bedrock of any relationship, I think. Of course this is just our experience so your mileage may vary!
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I am single and a single parent to 1, i personally do not want or need a relationship right now. I do not miss the emotional connection. Probably because I get physical from monday - friday with men.
Emotionally and financially I am strong enough to stand on my own two feet. I actually like being on my own and doubt I will ever want a relationship again :)
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so, does anyone escort when there married/engaged/in a relationship?
and what does you partner say/think/do? x
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Ive been escorting on and of for a couple of years now, however i didnt tell the bf until just before i was leaving for oz, he took it ok, was really shocked like really really shocked but still loves me stayed by me bla bla bla, i haven't mentioned im doing it again, however since hes half way across the world and we now have agreed on a fully polygamous relationship he has no right to say weather or not he is bothered.
I would say i miss the real intimacy that he used to give me, but i have found myself a nice wee guy to see while im over here.
I would say it can deffo work when people are open but i cant be bothered with people knowing as i just dont trust most people not to tell one other person to tell another person (this happened to me last year) and I dont see it as cheating ever as in my mind is completely different.
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Hi,
I would like to know how everyone balances work and having relationships. I've been single for a while and started seeing this guy I really like. When would you say would be the right time to tell him what I do. I'm worried he won't approve and will walk out on me.
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Do a search here for words like 'boyfriend' and 'relationship' for several threads on this.
My usual advice is that if you're going to come out, start by saying you're not interested in a monogamous relationship. If he can't handle that, he's very unlikely to think it's ok because cash is involved.
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I would say tell him ASAP so neither of you get too involved and end up getting hurt further down the line. Other option is to keep it a secret which I would strongly advise against. I did this and it caused me to become very depressed because of the guilt. He found out eventually and was beyond devastated (almost to the point of suicidal over it) so I would never want to put someone through that again.
Basically my advice is that honesty is the best policy and the worst that can happen is he freaks out and never wants to speak to you again, but maybe that shows he isn't right for you and someone even better who will understand will come along soon.
If you feel that you can't be honest then I would def break it off or just keep things really casual until you can have that conversation with him.
Good luck and I'm sure things will work out for the best xxx
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The worst that happens is that he gets violent because you've "hidden" this and/or tells everyone about it.
This is why coming out in stages helps test the waters, as does the old 'did you see the story about...' method of raising potentially difficult stuff.
Fortunately (?) not everyone finds keeping it a secret so hard either. Again, a search will come up with other stories.
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I told mine while we were dating/seeing each other, I think on the 3rd date. He took it surprisingly well, I gave him some time and space to think about things, he came back with a few questions about my safety and health, also wanted to know about my privacy, where I work from etc. We are still together now.
Personally I would say sooner is better but Each situation is unique so I don't think there is a correct answer for this unfortunately.
I wouldn't introduce him to family and friends until he knows and you are sure he is ok about it. Just in case.
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I was with my bf for just under 2years, never told him, one day I got a call while I was out of the country on tour, one of his friends found me on AW and showed him, he went CRAZY!!! Like crazy crazy. I spent a fortune on the next flight home, not that it matters. Went to his mums house crying my heart out and he didn't wanna know, spit in my face, called me a dirty whore. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone. I lost the love of my life because of my job/lies. It's been awful.
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I've recently started seeing a girl who has been my friend for a couple of years (I've only been escorting for 6 months). She already knew that I was poly (I have a boyfriend of 10 months now, who I told before I started that I wanted to) but I had to tell her last week as since it looks like we might be starting a relationship, she should know what I'm doing. She had no problem with it whatsoever. I then found out 2 days later that she didn't even know that it was legal(!) but I think if you are honest from the start then they can either support you or leave you. If you leave it too late, you get too attached and then it's trickier to tear apart.
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Yes, I think it's important to give the other person a choice.
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Secrets are never a good thing in a relationship. I was seeing someone when I started out (although he was married) and we'd been together on and off for two years. He was jealous initially and then became controlling where I had to tell him everything. If he hadn't been married I think it would have been unmanageable.
We went on holiday in the summer (6weeks in to my escorting) and I left after the first week and caught a flight home after ending our relationship. Sex with clients was better and he had changed his feelings towards me.
I wouldn't enter in to a relationship now (but that's just me) as I get what I need sexually from my clients and can do without the angst. I'm all burned out when it comes to bloody relationships!!
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Sex with clients was better ...
I wouldn't enter in to a relationship now (but that's just me) as I get what I need sexually from my clients and can do without the angst. I'm all burned out when it comes to bloody relationships!!
I've got to say it's the same for me. However good a bf/partner is in bed there are always going to be clients that are better and I feel like a fake pretending that the guy I'm with is terrific. It wears you down after a while. I do miss the companionship and sharing and entertaining when I'm single though, but that's never enough for them.
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I've been with my partner for just under two years now.
I didn't tell him until around the one year mark and took about 3months prior to "prep" him into and even then I only said I'd done it before then few months later told him I'd done it at the start ect. We spent the next few months traveling and I Used that to subtly/ not so subtly said I wanted to start again.
We spoke about it loads and slowly. Anyway now we are in perfect harmony. I get to work he isn't jealous. Really supportive and loving. He is my rock.
I'm just saying that sometimes telling someone straight away dosnt always work and waiting until you can trust the person sometimes is the best option
X
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Everyone's relationship is different, of course. But I think if you show that you're not ashamed, your significant o. is less likely to be ashamed of you - if you show that you enjoy your job, your s.o. is less likely to try to get you out of it.
Personally, I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't going to be supportive. I don't care how nice the guy/gal is, if he/she is going to walk out on you for your job then f*** them! For whatever reason you have, if prostitution is your decision, that's a huge part of who you are - the decision, the action, the stories that come from it, the day to day lifestyle - if they want you to be someone else then they're just like a punter who pays to get the perfect woman, and will never have to see all the baggage because we're creating the perfect fantasy for them.
I don't know. I know it's hard for a lot of people, guys and girls to stomach, but shouldn't the right person forgive you?
btw, I love how the moderators are sick of this topic :D
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Personally I would only go out with a punter not a civvie guy as there is more fighting chance of them accepting the job.
I get offers to date but so far nobody suitable despite 3 years of working! I only get about 2 offers a year though. I do not solicit dates from these clients it just happens naturally.
I still plan to find somebody who can live with what I do and support me in it. One fine day! The job does get awfully lonely.
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I would say tell him ASAP so neither of you get too involved and end up getting hurt further down the line. Other option is to keep it a secret which I would strongly advise against. I did this and it caused me to become very depressed because of the guilt. He found out eventually and was beyond devastated (almost to the point of suicidal over it) so I would never want to put someone through that again.
Basically my advice is that honesty is the best policy and the worst that can happen is he freaks out and never wants to speak to you again, but maybe that shows he isn't right for you and someone even better who will understand will come along soon.
If you feel that you can't be honest then I would def break it off or just keep things really casual until you can have that conversation with him.
Good luck and I'm sure things will work out for the best xxx
This is what I would say too...come clean before you're too attached, then if he walks away it won't break your heart, although it will probably still sting a bit. Don't kid yourself that you can keep this a secret in the long term....I've known too many stories of girls trying to keep this secret and I've never known a case where it didn't end up coming out. There was one girl who thought she was keeping it hidden, and was succeeding, she had been with him from before she worked and had worked for years but it turned out the guy had known for ages before he told her he knew.
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Hey I've recently starting seeing someone well just been over a month now.. But he hasn't got a clue what I do I do this on the side as I have a part time day job too . I some times feel bad as I haven't told him .. I know if I did he would run a mile! Anyone else been in relationships where the other half doesn't know ? X
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If you used the search function, you'll be able to find many similar threads. Try looking for 'relationship'.
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Hi
I've been in a long relationship but very complicated and emotional . I think it's even toxic but we do have strong feelings for each other and just can't split. He doesn't know what I'm doing, I've started this job because I couldnt rely on him or count on his support when I had quit my full time civvie job. Since this relationship is messed up I usually feel fine with what I do, but days when we are ok than I'm feeling of quiting this job.but then we have argument again and I run back to my clients. IMO if relationship is good and the guy does everything for me than he is def worth me changing my job. Do what your heart is telling you and for the time being make sure you have your phone's switched off and hidden and clear Internet history on all your browsing devices;)
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I really don't see how a relationship can work when it is based on a lie.
I would hate to not be truthful and honest to a boyfriend.
That said I don't have one as I am too fussy amongst the usual reasons of also finding it hard to find a civvie guy who can cope with the job!
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Maybe sit down and watch secret diary of a call girl with him & ask "what would you do if i did that". Completely innocent query really. Then decide if you want to tell him. I have no idea how someone can hide it but it's certainly the most done thing i think. A month isn't too bad to tell him, it's if it turns to years & then it comes out that you have a problem x
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I married a client. Thought I'd met the love of my life, albeit in strange/unusual circumstances. Adored him.
He continued to treat me like he did when he was paying me. He is now divorcing me. I chose to stop working because I loved him so much, way before we married. I supported myself financially. I cashed in several ISAS in order to support myself. I would cancel appointments because I couldn't bear to have anyone touch me but him, it made me cry. Obviously, he felt differently, he continued to pay other women for sex.
He is now divorcing me, no doubt he will cite the fact that I was a prostitute in the proceedings.
He had sex with me. Next day he informed he he was divorcing me. obviously I'm a crap shag
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I am in a long term relationship after being single for 7 years no dating and no boyfriends my choice. I finally met a man who understand that it is just a job we do not discuss work at all. He is moving in next year, i keep my work life and my home life separate. It works you just need to be patient.
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Hey everyone been working in this industry nearly 6 years now but am moving In with my partner next week. I was just wondering how other girls cope working and having a relationship. I can't give work up as have a wedding to pay For xx
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Hey everyone been working in this industry nearly 6 years now but am moving In with my partner next week. I was just wondering how other girls cope working and having a relationship. I can't give work up as have a wedding to pay For xx
See if you can not find an apartment to rent in your area, sometimes partners do not want work and personal life to cross, they are accepting but not as accepting as it taking place in the home they share with you. That is the compromise my partner and I have come too and I can not blame him :)
We do not discuss work, he does not ask and i do not tell. I also keep all my work equipment out of the way and packed away
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I don't really have much work stuff matching underwear nice dress and high heels do nicely for work and I'm moving closer to where I work. My partner knew what i Done before we got together xx
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I was seeing someone before I started escorting, but he knew something wasnt right, he lost trust in me but I couldnt bring myself to tell him what I was doing, so I made an excuse and finished with him, I miss making live, but more than anything I miss thebond we had. Im not going to try a relationship until I can afford to quit
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Now n then I think about having a boyfriend but mainly I'm happy being single n it suits me. But I don't go out to bars n suchlike so if I wanted to meet a guy it would have to be from online means. I'd also need him to be very open minded n cool with me being an escort and happy to take my pics. I wonder how to find such a bloke? He needs to know what I do cos I'm not going to hide it n try n be someone I'm not.
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This is going to sound very negative, but I did the whole dating scene centuries ago when I first became a wg and it was the worst experience of my life. Men just want to bonk you, so I stayed single for 7 years and waited for mr right to find me and he did, although be it via AW but I have been in a very good relationship for almost 2 years now.
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Hard to say, before starting this i spent years internet dating and met some lovely and genuine people. Recently ive found most men just want a cheapish fuck, not a relationship, although there are still a few genuine men out there, you are asking thr available few for all women in your area, that sre ok to accept you.,.,,,,,,,,
sorry abiut typos, tablet!
I think its more likely face to face than over the net.
ok sounds silly but getout more, join a salsa class or whatever. ....
thst way you will be judged for you,
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For me there has to be upfront honestly, compatibility, open mindedness and acceptance, no 'Oh my god my boyfriend just found out what I do' rubbish. Too stressful. Most punters are attached I find in some way or another n very few are just my type. And I have to ask myself if they're seeing me n have lots of feedback then if we did somehow start dating if they happened to be single would they just continue to visit escorts? I'd far rather we just went swinging together n they slept with another woman that way to be honest. At least then we both have fun cos I get to do a guy also. Done this before n was lots of fun. But anyway, the point is I know there are lots of ladies who have husbands and boyfriends who know they escort and support it. I just don't understand where they find these guys. I'm jealous!
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Been single for a long time and now n then think about having a boyfriend. But I don't go out to bars n suchlike so if I wanted to meet a guy it would have to be from online means. I'd also need him to be very open minded n cool with me being an escort and happy to take my pics. I wonder how to find such a bloke? He needs to know what I do cos I'm not going to hide it n try n be someone I'm not. Obviously the fact I have limited say in who I'm fucking at work means I'm going to damn well want a boyfriend I really fancy. I'd rather continue to be single than to just settle for nice but not quite what I've been after. My problem is I don't want my bloke to be fucking other women. That is an issue cos I'm fucking guys.... But that's purely work which is totally different. But I doubt a guy would see it that way. I think a cuckold guy is what most would say I'm after or just one who enjoys knowing his woman is a Slut. I know they exist. Have any of you got partners who help take your pics and are fine to join in a booking if the client wants a threesome? Where did you meet your man initially? And if online where n how did u go about it? I think it's time I had a man in my life on a deeper more intimate personal level but honestly I don't know where to find him??? It would just be a bonus if he happened to be interested in my work too in a positive way.
I tried a few dating while escorting unfortunetly it didn't work it was dealing with this and can relate with you. I wouldn't want them to be with others although this is what do. They could come back with well many are sharing so what is good for the goose type thing. It leaves me thinking about the dates at the times during bookings feeling guilty stupid I know. So have decided to let the whole thing go and just concentrate on my happiness for now. For me my life suits me fine clients are demanding enough for me at the minute.
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I met someone (online) when I least expected it, I told him about my alternative lifestyle quite early on, I didn't want him falling for me without knowing what he was truly in for. I wanted to give him the choice, and he chose wisely, still together 1year later.
He is happy with my job, respects my reasons for doing it and has never said a negative word about it, nor is he in denial about what I do. I personally wouldn't like him involved in any part of it (ie taking pics, threesomes etc) as I wouldn't be comfortable with it.
Yes there are quite a few open minded guys out there that will see things for what they are and won't see you as an unworthy partner. I believe that my man is faithful, and so he should be lol! although I am sleeping with different guys I honestly don't worry about double standards as my work is just work and I would never do what I do if there was no money involved.
'He' is out there somewhere Candy :), hope you find him x
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I spent a good few years sleeping around for so called fun n feeling thoroughly used n mainly not too happy. I like escorting but it is also a job. And a relationship is world's apart from sleeping with punters.
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Ok, will add this, i have been chatting online to a guy via emails for 6 months....we started talking on an 'alternative ' site, and email daily. Hes not ready to meet me though. I knoe, sounds a bit mad, he was very supportive when i saidthat i was going to start escorting, and due to being unwell recently and not working, i asked him if i could borrow ?300, and he was there for me. He has listened to me daily, opening my heart, pouring out problems etc......and no, hes single, hes getting over a close bereavement and ended a long term relationship last year......i dont know how it will pan out, but i have another year of college to get through, so equally im not ready yet. But yeah, there are intelligent and decent guys out there.......just not many i guess.
good luck candy. X
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I gave up on going out trying to meet someone. I'm just going to carry on moving my life forward and wait for someone worthwhile to come into it. It's been over 3 years now but my life has moved forward SO much during that time and I have achieved more than I ever did in my previous 22 years that it has been the best thing for me.
There are times when I wish I had someone, but it's not as simple as the right someone just appearing in front of me. I'll find him at some point... or he'll find me ;D
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I gave up on going out trying to meet someone. I'm just going to carry on moving my life forward and wait for someone worthwhile to come into it. It's been over 3 years now but my life has moved forward SO much during that time and I have achieved more than I ever did in my previous 22 years that it has been the best thing for me.
There are times when I wish I had someone, but it's not as simple as the right someone just appearing in front of me. I'll find him at some point... or he'll find me ;D
Trust me it is when you find that calm balance in your life that the right person will come bursting in, just ensure you do not shut yourself off completely like I did, I nearly lost out on the best thing that has happened to me in my life, barring my child of course :)
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Haha I've had my balance for the last 2 years, so I'm not averse to someone joining me in it. I just don't want to go seek something out that will mess with my perfect balance by bringing drama!
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It's a catch 22 situation with these dating sites I find.
If I start the conversation insinuating I'm in a civvy job then I'm lying and get paranoid about them finding me on AW. (Don't know what is is, but most on these sites seem to look on AW- I get a lot of messages saying ' Seen you AW')
If I tell them the truth they just want to have a go on me!
I like yourself, really would like a boyfriend but i'm slowly coming to terms that whilst doing this work it may not be possible.
x
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I wouldn't know how to meet someone.. I'm pretty isolated, working from home, so the only guys I meet are clients..
Apart from that, I don't think there's many guys out there in my age-range (say between 30-45), who are single, not divorced with
10 kids (wouldn't mind that at all though lol), or come with a lot of baggage, like me.. ;)
Sometimes I think, who the f*** would want me, because of my chequered past, the job I do, and a lot of other things I'd rather not go into..
I hate the thought of being single for the rest of my life, but it's a pretty big possibility..
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I wouldn't know how to meet someone.. I'm pretty isolated, working from home, so the only guys I meet are clients..
Apart from that, I don't think there's many guys out there in my age-range (say between 30-45), who are single, not divorced with
10 kids (wouldn't mind that at all though lol), or come with a lot of baggage, like me.. ;)
Sometimes I think, who the f*** would want me, because of my chequered past, the job I do, and a lot of other things I'd rather not go into..
I hate the thought of being single for the rest of my life, but it's a pretty big possibility..
+1
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I wouldn't know how to meet someone.. I'm pretty isolated, working from home, so the only guys I meet are clients..
Apart from that, I don't think there's many guys out there in my age-range (say between 30-45), who are single, not divorced with
10 kids (wouldn't mind that at all though lol), or come with a lot of baggage, like me.. ;)
Sometimes I think, who the f*** would want me, because of my chequered past, the job I do, and a lot of other things I'd rather not go into..
I hate the thought of being single for the rest of my life, but it's a pretty big possibility..
My beliefs on this are that I couldn't be with someone who couldn't accept my past as 'messy' doesn't even come close to the right word for it. But it'll always be a part of me. The escorting stuff I see no point in hiding because it'll always end up coming out.
I don't expect ANY guy to accept me actually doing the job, I'd consider myself exceptionally lucky if that happened. But in the future at some point whoever I end up with is going to have to accept that I used to do it and not hold it against me, because I've done the drama relationships and I won't do it again.
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Yes that's the thing they guys above 30 all seem to have partners. And u say you're an escort and they do want to have a go on you like a fairground ride. I think I'm far more balanced being single n hate the drama being with someone can bring but sometimes I would really like someone special to share life with and I believe I have a lot to offer the right guy even if I am an escort, lol. I know I'm not a useless nothing that no man would want. I know my worth and I'm not talking about financial worth here either. One of my boyfriends used to say butter wouldn't melt as I was so sweet and yet still so dirty privately, haha.
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Ive been with my partner for 2 n a half year about to start a family. i didn't tell him about escorting until 9months as i don't like any dick or harry knowing my business and it worked out fine, he is supportive loves me for me and understands how hard work can be without ever telling me to quit.
We met threw a friend at a part had a one night stand and then instantly "fell in love" basically i knew he was different and glad we didn't just leave it at the sex.
If its what you want it will fall into your lap when you least expect it. keep yo chin up not all men are pure cheating bast*rds (come back to me in 10years... hahaha ;D )
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I have a bf who knows what I do and he is a normal bloke who doesn't get off on my job.Not sure why you think you need someone who gets off on it i.e a cuckhold or likes you being a 'slut'.That to me would mean he was seeing me because he gets off on it so no better than a punter.There are men out there who want the real you and accept your job as a seperate thing from you.
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I started escorting about the same time as vowing to give up on online dating, which I'd been doing intensively for eight years. That was last summer. In January, I logged onto to an old site just to clear my emails, and was messaged by someone who said he was single, local, and looking for something with just one woman, but casually. I really liked the look and sound of him, so we met up.
It was OK to begin with, except he wouldn't give me his mobile number, saying his young son often used his phone. Then long gaps between emails and visits started, though there were some valid reasons.
Anyway, he was abroad doing something a couple of weeks ago. I happened to check his Facebook page last week to see if he was back (we're not friends, but his main stuff is visible). Turned out he was 'friends' with an old colleague of mine (a very bizarre coincidence). I was about 60-70% sure they were more than friends as they did something together in February (when he told me he had his son), have mutual friends etc.
Sure enough, he came over yesterday so I asked him and he said they were seeing each other. I'm really pissed off as I was upfront with him from the start about being an escort etc.
The whole episode has reminded me why I gave up on dating!
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Oh dear, what a waste of time. One thing I hate is dishonesty in a man. I'm very honest and I think certain things you mentioned would have put up red flags for me. The phone thing being one huge one. This is the main issue with men, they want to have it all. I'm convinced they are hard wired to want to see many women. But what if guys are just pre-programmed to spread themselves around? Is it then stupid to try n change what can't be changed? How many men are monogamous these days? Honestly I don't know what evolution was thinking of when men and women were pieced together cos we are like totally opposing species. And coupling is hard enough as it is!
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Oh dear, what a waste of time. One thing I hate is dishonesty in a man. I'm very honest and I think certain things you mentioned would have put up red flags for me. The phone thing being one huge one. This is the main issue with men, they want to have it all. The real problem is the more men I meet the more I'm convinced they are hard wired to want to see many women. I've been trying to look beyond that as it puts me off even considering being with a guy in a personal capacity. But what if guys are just pre-programmed to spread themselves around? Is it then stupid to try n change what can't be changed? How many men are monogamous these days? Honestly I don't know what evolution was thinking of when men and women were pieced together cos we are like totally opposing species. And coupling is hard enough as it is!
Well they say men are but it's respect (and love) that stop them cheating
I guess I can see the truth in that, so many guys lack any respect for women that it makes them all seem that way, but there a guys out there who aren't misogynist twats
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I've told my story before on another thread but I met my husband when he was assigned as my driver at one of my agencies a few years ago. Once I had established he had no sexual interest in escorts (he turned down loads of girls when he drove two of us, they used to embarrass themselves by propositioning him all the time, his answer was always "I'm just here for the money") I allowed myself to realise how attracted to him I was.
Long story short. We've now been together 4 years and married for 2, we still work and he's still my driver (with a side-gig of his own so there is no male inferiority complex or only surviving off of one income) but now work indie no more agencies. I wouldn't say life is easy but he understands the job in a way no other guy I've met could and he realises I'm only doing it for the money. I thank whoever brought him into my life every day because really I get the best of both worlds: earn a fortune doing a job I think I'm good at and a loving husband to come home and cuddle up in bed with.
I agree with Fluffy Bunny though he came along at a time that I wasn't even looking for a man, I was not long out of an extremely bad relationship and was just focussing on work, staying home and avoiding social contact wherever possible. Then I meet my then future hubby at work of all places, if it's meant to be it's obviously meant to be! I don't think love is something you can go looking for it just appears without you even realising it.
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It scares me growing old lonely lol, but who knows what the future holds..
I've got a son, but he doesn't live with me, I'd love more kids, but I'm getting on a bit for that too..!!
Think I'm just going through one of those periods in my life when I see everything negative, when I'm in a good space,
I'm happy to be single, not having any kids to look after, and just content with what I have..
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It scares me too. I'm 26 so I know to some it's laughable, but with some of my issues (anxiety/panic , that seems a daft word to use as it feels so much more than that, and really affects every single day of my life) and my lifestyle etc i don't think I'll ever find relationships as easy as many 26yr olds, so I do worry about it. But you can't look for someone else to make you happy can you, I think even though as women we've come so far, we still haven't shook off the need for a partner, and the willingness to sacrifice and forgive. ...I may just be speaking for myself here
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I am still quite new to this but was given lost of advice from other wgs when starting, the advice I was given was
1. Be careful about who you tell, some guys are just nasty and may use it in arguments and expose you etc
2. Be careful of guys who will use you for your money because you're working or for sex
3. Be careful of the guys who get 'turned on' by the idea of you working- asking you what you did with clients etc.
I had mister number 3 when i started out, some of his exes were wgs and i decided to talk it through with him when i started - he was a bit TOO keen for me to work and then it soon became apparent that he was getting off on it. We had been together previously for a year and suddenly the presents and nights out stopped and i was expected to pay things.
He was also a cheat and after i started working it just got out of control.
Suffice to say he was quickly dumped.
The new guy I am seeing I have known for 5 years on and off through Facebook and mutual friends, and we had a lot of 5 hour convos etc before even dating, so i got a good measure of who he was. It's quite intense as he lives up north and i'm in london.
About a month in the lying was making me feel physically sick, so I decided to tell him, as I knew I was falling in love with him by that point.
He's not 100% ok with it, but he understands, his main concern is my safety and that he doesn't want me doing this forever. I tell him about the strange clients fetishes/dinners etc, but never talk about sex- although he knows.
So far it's going okay. But we're just taking each day as it comes.
All I can say in my limited experience so far is there are douches out there, but there are some nice guys too. I'm sure if male escorting was more in demand they'd all be at it! Good luck xx
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I tell him about the strange clients fetishes/dinners etc, but never talk about sex- although he knows.
So far it's going okay. But we're just taking each day as it comes.
It is possible to have a relationship, and for the guy to know what you do. But I will say from experience that it is a bad idea to mention any of the detail. It winds them up in ways you can't imagine, and their imagination can run riot and throw it back at you. A perfectly ordinary boring booking can turn into a hot sexually charged sweaty orgy in someone else's mind, and it's no good trying to explain either. I don't even say how long bookings lasted or how many there were if I can help it.
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I tell him about the strange clients fetishes/dinners etc, but never talk about sex- although he knows.
So far it's going okay. But we're just taking each day as it comes.
It is possible to have a relationship, and for the guy to know what you do. But I will say from experience that it is a bad idea to mention any of the detail. It winds them up in ways you can't imagine, and their imagination can run riot and throw it back at you. A perfectly ordinary boring booking can turn into a hot sexually charged sweaty orgy in someone else's mind, and it's no good trying to explain either. I don't even say how long bookings lasted or how many there were if I can help it.
Thank you, i will keep that in mind.. I tend to tell him the 'funny' or 'strange' ones, buti guess you're right that we all have a tendency to overthink etc x thank you x x
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When I first started this job, only about a year ago, I felt like I didn't need anyone in my life b/c I was going on the "high" of the money, manipulating men, being told you're gorgeous and a sex goddess all day, etc. And then a few months ago I really started getting lonely and depressed, getting fed up with all the crazy sex and zero intimacy, and missing being able to be the real me with someone who made me feel valued without the makeup and heels and "Chloe" persona. I am also the kind of person who can date a lot and rarely get past the first or second date, most men just don't hold my interest or have much to add to my life. I ended up messaging a man I dated a year ago for a few months. We broke up b/c there was no future, we both had plans to move, he is deathly allergic to my beloved pets...but we both really, really enjoyed each others company. Turns out neither of us moved and now we are hanging out without the pressure of thinking about the future, knowing it probably can't last but just being happy with what it is right now. And it's made the biggest difference, just being able to fall asleep in someone's arms, going over and knowing I don't have to do anything but lie there and watch a movie with him or read our separate books in bed together. Don't get me wrong, the sex is great but sometimes with this job the last thing I want is more sex at the end of the day. He doesn't know what I do yet- I have never told anyone as selling/buying sex is illegal where I live so I'm very careful. I'm not his girlfriend and he's not my boyfriend, but we have a connection and we both fill a need in each others' life. I can't imagine meeting someone who was ok with my line of work in the US (we are a bunch of uptight prudes when it comes to sex ::)) and in this current arrangement I don't feel the guilt of lying about work or misleading him since we both know it's just for now and we have agreed that there is no pressure at all to be monogamous (don't ask don't tell haha). It works really well with this job to have someone in my life but still not have to answer to anyone, or be the whole world for someone.
I don't want to end up alone and I think it's natural to get scared about getting older and being alone. But I decided to try to live more in the present, be thankful for what I have or can create today, and not worry so much about labels. Last year before I started escorting I wasn't ok with not being his one and only. Oh, how much I've learned in a year! Now it's the perfect situation for me and while I'd love to believe in monogamy and maybe even the sanctity of marriage my mind has been opened to alternative relationships and I'm comfortable knowing that I may not be the only girl he's sleeping with, and we still have a real connection and I'm still special to and respected by him :-)
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That's great Chloe, wish I could be more like that. I'd just get hurt though.
I know what you mean about never finding anyone of interest. I'm such an introvert that they have to have something about them for me to want to open up
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I can always tell when I'm "in a good place", as I'm happy being single, don't feel the need for a partner/relationship, I'm
happy with everything I've got, live in the moment etc..
When I'm not in a good place, I'm terrified of being alone for the rest of my life, I want this, I want that, never happy with
what I've got in the present etc etc..
That might sound pure airy fairy but, for me, it's so true..!!
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I was seeing somebody recently whom I have known for years as a friend first. I told him about the job from the off and he was pretty fine with it and he knows how to keep a secret too which is great. However it only lasted a month as his communication is very weak in between dates so I was feeling ignored.
Dating is hard work whereas escorting is easy!
I would still like it to work out with someone and hopefully this particular friend, so maybe in the future etc.
What I have noticed over the years is that men take us for granted pretty quickly once we are settled with them e.g. cohabiting etc.
Why can't they just see our work as something separate from us and detach - and also remember that we exist and not ignore us or take us for granted ....
I do think that certain men WILL be tolerant of our job as it all boils down to how open minded and tolerant and streetwise they are.
If women who are reading this are wondering how on earth to meet men other than punters then there are meet up groups on [link removed - please don't post these here] for socialising which aren't dates and where you meet men as friends. It is an excellent way to get to know somebody prior to dating them.
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I had a short love affair with a guy which ended this year, I thought he was really into me, he clearly just wanted a convenience woman when it suited him, I didn't like it that he kept turning up randomly driving all the way from his home to mine (it was an hours car drive) , I didn't want to get caught out he did not know what I do in my spare time I never tell them. like some guys are never honest and lie to me continuously so I didn't need to feel guilt about making money to pay my bills
I feel at times lonely and am a very harsh critic of myself, I want to feel good about being single :)
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Every now and then I'll meet someone and they'll ask me out etc, I think I should give it a go to go on a date and get myself out there... Every time they turn out to be completely weird/mentally unstable before we've even met up! That kinda of helps towards feeling happy single
It's so much time and effort to be in a relationship too, I think even though I want to be in a relationship again, right now I actually couldn't. They mess my head up too much and I've got too many important things happening to deal with that
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I have noticed that single men of all ages appear extra needy these days, more than previous occasions whenever I was single at different stages of my life.
Whereas single women appear to be more on top of it all.
Can't help having what it takes can we eh lol.
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I was broken up with because of escorting (in spite of him knowing it was my intention to do this job before we even got together). We are teenagers though so it makes sense, he couldn't handle it etc and there were other factors. I'm really into politics and that kind of thing, so one of the first things I'll figure out in a friend is their political stance and then I'll probably get to their opinion on prostitution eventually. I generally don't seem to attract people that aren't open-minded, probably because you need to be fairly open-minded to deal with me. ;D My "pool" is already small because I'm introverted and don't socialise much, but within my pool is a bunch of left-wingers who mostly will be in favour of decriminilisation.
That's a start, but it doesn't say much for how many of them would actually be able to deal with dating a prostitute. Everyone that knows about me knows I only intend to do it until my "real" career, but everyone also knows that my "real" career is about fifteen years of study away. I feel that by announcing my job, I immediately turn some people off that would have been interested in me had I not said it. I suppose it's a good way to weed the idiots out, but there are a lot of idiots! Not that I really think not wanting to date a prossie makes you an idiot, I do understand. As lonely as I do feel and as much as I crave intimacy, I like the money more.
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I have noticed that single men of all ages appear extra needy these days, more than previous occasions whenever I was single at different stages of my life.
Whereas single women appear to be more on top of it all.
Can't help having what it takes can we eh lol.
I've come to the conclusion men are more needy full stop. The ones we see are the tip of the iceberg. You get to know a guy who has been single for more than a year or two and you'll find nine times out of ten they are very hard going.
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I'm in a relationship at the moment and im finding it very very difficult as he doesn't lole what I do an he new when we got together ... He will always bring it up and he makes me feel down he'll always say nasty comments he wants me to quit I said I would but I really don't want to as the money is good and I will be screwed if I didn't do this job plus I enjoy it x
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If he knew when you got together then he shouldn't have got with you if it was going to be an issue for him. Its not up to him to decide if you continue escorting or not, its your choice. If you really are happy carrying on escorting and don't want to quit then maybe its time for him to go! You have to weigh up whats more important to you and also if this is your main source of income what would you do without it? I bet he wouldn't start supporting you.
I used to have a very possessive Dom who hated the thought of me being with anyone else and had a severe jealousy and anger problem but he knew that I needed to work as its what I live off. It ate away at him and he took it out on me. It wasn't nice. It was never going to work.
And then I saw someone else a few years ago who I met off aw so he knew what I did. We had tons of sex and went swinging most weekends and I was allowed to play with guys but not have full sex with them, that was the only rule he had but he never tried to tell me what to do regarding escort work. We had fun and he never had any problems at all with me escorting and I didn't mind if he wanted to sleep with other women when we were together swinging but he rarely ever did. Everyone is so different.
You have to do what works for you, and if something doesn't work then you need to change it.
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well my previously mentioned relationship has just ended, so i'm reconsidering whether it's actually possible. For now I'm going to stay single and focus on work, x :-\
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well my previously mentioned relationship has just ended, so i'm reconsidering whether it's actually possible. For now I'm going to stay single and focus on work, x :-\
Oh no :( hope you're ok. Was it the job that got too much?
That's what I'm doing, staying single and staying on track with life
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it just got too much for him, he was staying in my hotel room whilst i was touring. I was constantly on edge thinking about the money i was losing tbh. So i started snapping at him, we started rowing.
It all just got a little messed up and intense. He says he needs to 'think' for a few days and go back up north, but i know deep down it's over.
I should have never suggested he stayed at the hotel and kept work and him more apart- lesson learnt x hi5 for staying focused x
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well my previously mentioned relationship has just ended, so i'm reconsidering whether it's actually possible. For now I'm going to stay single and focus on work, x :-\
tough time , keep focused be strong hope you meet some decent clients xx
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well my previously mentioned relationship has just ended, so i'm reconsidering whether it's actually possible. For now I'm going to stay single and focus on work, x :-\
tough time , keep focused be strong hope you meet some decent clients xx
thank you x x x
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I would want a bf to talk too, maybe cute with a big ***, but I find that I am not in the mood for sex because I have just had sex or going too. I think the most open minded guys I have met are into an open relationships but that's not for everyone, but they tend to be more honest, and not bothered about your work x
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You are right tvhappiness the ones who are into open relationships are the best type.
A couple of years ago I went out with somebody, actually it was c. 18 months ago now - he was an adult photographer and v open minded - he had no problem whatsoever with the work we do. The only reason I split up with him was a) he owed me some money and kept mucking me about b) he was alcohol dependent and c) he read the Daily Mail (urgh!!:().
Can't win 'em all eh ...
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I've had a successful relationship without it being 'open'.
Our boundaries are that I don't have sex with anyone else outside of work, and he decided that he didn't want to have sex with any other person. If either of us broke that agreement, we'd classify that as being unfaithful.
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I also do not have an open relationship and mine is flourishing, there are some good ones out there.
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Mirror and Fluffy Bunny - where did you both meet your men?
Just to give me an idea.
As my friend is too much of a monk for me - I was dating him recently but he does not communicate well in between dates and I was feeling ignored so I stopped it. He is also worked up about sex i.e. does not give it (he was always like this, it isn't just because of our job as he can cope with that) ... I will keep him on as a friend instead.
There must be one decent man out there for me there really must be!
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Mine was a client, a friendship developed outside of the bookings and after quite a few years during which I had other boyfriends we decided to cross the boundary and start a romantic relationship.
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I know deep down that I'd not be ok with a partner being fine with me being a prostitute whilst together. Not saying anyone else should feel that way, It's just not right for me
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I know deep down that I'd not be ok with a partner being fine with me being a prostitute whilst together. Not saying anyone else should feel that way, It's just not right for me
Yes I am aware this is how some women feel.
For me I feel the same as I did before I was a prostitute, in fact even more so. I'm still a person with very similar desires and needs, which includes a close personal relationship. I find that because of the increased financial independence and my physical desires being more than met, that I can make much better partner choices - ones not clouded by lust or money worries which I had prior to sex work.
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I know deep down that I'd not be ok with a partner being fine with me being a prostitute whilst together. Not saying anyone else should feel that way, It's just not right for me
Yes I am aware this is how some women feel.
For me I feel the same as I did before I was a prostitute, in fact even more so. I'm still a person with very similar desires and needs, which includes a close personal relationship. I find that because of the increased financial independence and my physical desires being more than met, that I can make much better partner choices - ones not clouded by lust or money worries which I had prior to sex work.
Don't get me wrong I want a partner, I'm still the same girl who wants to be in love/be loved, but a man that's fine with me doing this while with him isn't a man I want
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fifilondon thats the same as me was going out with a guy that i met through my work he was fine at first then after a year didnt like it coz they were on my bed etc stopped taking me out if we had a drink he would call me all the names under the sun ,i kept going back coz i thought i lot of him but the sex was getting robotic and felt like he was just using me for that nothing romantic about it at all so i have ended it ,its hard but can start to get back into working again as i had virtually stopped .
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I know deep down that I'd not be ok with a partner being fine with me being a prostitute whilst together. Not saying anyone else should feel that way, It's just not right for me
Yes I am aware this is how some women feel.
For me I feel the same as I did before I was a prostitute, in fact even more so. I'm still a person with very similar desires and needs, which includes a close personal relationship. I find that because of the increased financial independence and my physical desires being more than met, that I can make much better partner choices - ones not clouded by lust or money worries which I had prior to sex work.
Mirror, I feel exactly the same. Doing sex work enables me to not 'need' men anymore like I used to. That makes me much happier. I am more likely now not to put up with any crap off them. I feel more at peace and secure. I have had a client recently who said he wanted a 'relationship'. We had grown close. When I put him on the spot in relation to what this 'relationship' would look like, he basically outlined we would continue as we are (he wasn't ready for me to come to his home) but maybe going away together etc...in other words, he wanted more sex and not to pay me.
hahahahaha yeah RIGHT! I kicked him into touch straight away. So that is my experience of a client wanting to develop a 'relationship'. No thanks! x
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Sounds like he was married Shewolf
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Mirror and Fluffy Bunny - where did you both meet your men?
Just to give me an idea.
As my friend is too much of a monk for me - I was dating him recently but he does not communicate well in between dates and I was feeling ignored so I stopped it. He is also worked up about sex i.e. does not give it (he was always like this, it isn't just because of our job as he can cope with that) ... I will keep him on as a friend instead.
There must be one decent man out there for me there really must be!
I met my partner through the industry after years of being single, I am not going to lie I was skeptical about it all, did he just want to date me for free sex the usual, but he took his time, was patient and still is and we are today celebrating our anniversary. So all I can say is a good man will prove to you that he wants to be with you.
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Sounds like he was married Shewolf
Or is still wanting it not 'in' his life.
The person I formed a relationship with was married, but they had an open marriage. His wife was in another relationship,and they had agreed the marriage was over. I was always welcome at their house, but for many reasons it was me keeping the distance!
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Sounds like he was married Shewolf
Or is still wanting it not 'in' his life.
The person I formed a relationship with was married, but they had an open marriage. His wife was in another relationship,and they had agreed the marriage was over. I was always welcome at their house, but for many reasons it was me keeping the distance!
No he is a widower and has been for a few years. He just wouldn't admit he hasn't moved on. He wants to keep seeing me in the same way but no money so that we can 'get to know each other'. My response to that is that he can sit on his own dick x
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I know deep down that I'd not be ok with a partner being fine with me being a prostitute whilst together. Not saying anyone else should feel that way, It's just not right for me
Yes I am aware this is how some women feel.
For me I feel the same as I did before I was a prostitute, in fact even more so. I'm still a person with very similar desires and needs, which includes a close personal relationship. I find that because of the increased financial independence and my physical desires being more than met, that I can make much better partner choices - ones not clouded by lust or money worries which I had prior to sex work.
Mirror, I feel exactly the same. Doing sex work enables me to not 'need' men anymore like I used to. That makes me much happier. I am more likely now not to put up with any crap off them. I feel more at peace and secure. I have had a client recently who said he wanted a 'relationship'. We had grown close. When I put him on the spot in relation to what this 'relationship' would look like, he basically outlined we would continue as we are (he wasn't ready for me to come to his home) but maybe going away together etc...in other words, he wanted more sex and not to pay me.
hahahahaha yeah RIGHT! I kicked him into touch straight away. So that is my experience of a client wanting to develop a 'relationship'. No thanks! x
Mirror/Shewolf, i love your attitudes - i feel exactly the same now. I think when I made the decision to do this at christmas, there was a cut-off point for me where I thought 'i'm not wanting a relationship anymore', i'm going to become an escort.
and yes, it does make you less needy/reliant. So what has a man got to offer, it has to be respect, care and understanding. Personally I no longer think it's for me, apart from my online 'thing', which gives me support virtually, allowing me to talk through my day etc. etc. I no longer feel any great need.
And somehow, I doubt I will meet Mr Wonderful doing this job, but hey, you never know! Right now I'm getting a big run of Mr Limp instead!
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Sounds like he was married Shewolf
Or is still wanting it not 'in' his life.
The person I formed a relationship with was married, but they had an open marriage. His wife was in another relationship,and they had agreed the marriage was over. I was always welcome at their house, but for many reasons it was me keeping the distance!
No he is a widower and has been for a few years. He just wouldn't admit he hasn't moved on. He wants to keep seeing me in the same way but no money so that we can 'get to know each other'. My response to that is that he can sit on his own dick x
I'm always suspicious about things like that, saying his wife's dead but you can't come to his house. Probably just me though! Anyway sounds like you're best off out of that either way
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Hiya Foxy Lady,
I have had so many bad experiences with men in my life that I just don't see how being in a relationship is worth it anymore. I would rather meet different men whilst staying in control of my emotions. I think introducing an financial element to liaisons keeps a woman safer from being pissed around or having her heart broken in the end. I know a lot would disagree with me but I talk from experience. My last relationship was the type you think you're in for life but sometimes even those end and that makes you realise your family and independence comes first, for me anyway xx
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My mother asked me yesterday "you haven't had a boyfriend in a while, aren't you lonely?"
She has no idea what I do, so I simply said no.
Before escorting I always craved for a loving relationship with Mr Right. Then Mr Right came into my life and turned into Mr Wrong, I think it's safe to say that he scarred me a little.
Now I am very happy escorting because it fulfils my sexual cravings and dampens my idealistic view that Mr Right is out there, all the while, earning me a nice little package. And besides, by the time I finish work for the day, the last thing I want to do is be near a man, let alone have sex!!
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Cheffy, Aaaawww..... Love your mum! :-*
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sometimes i just wish i could meet a nice male escort haha can someone start up an escort dating site please? hehehe :-* :P
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Fifi that's a great idea. Why has noone thought of that before?
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That would be great! Any sex workers (porn etc) I've read/watched things with male porn stars saying they struggle too to find women who accept their work
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Fifi that's a great idea. Why has noone thought of that before?
Because it would be swarmed with guys pretending to be straight male escorts wanting free bookings.
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I wouldn't know how to meet someone.. I'm pretty isolated, working from home, so the only guys I meet are clients..
Apart from that, I don't think there's many guys out there in my age-range (say between 30-45), who are single, not divorced with
10 kids (wouldn't mind that at all though lol), or come with a lot of baggage, like me.. ;)
Sometimes I think, who the f*** would want me, because of my chequered past, the job I do, and a lot of other things I'd rather not go into..
I hate the thought of being single for the rest of my life, but it's a pretty big possibility..
Hiya Siorse,
In reference to your fear of men being put off by your past, just remember, you can tell them as much or as little as you choose, it's your call. It's the past and not really any of their concern as it's your business unless you choose to tell them. Have you ever tried internet dating on a decent site? xx
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Fifi that's a great idea. Why has noone thought of that before?
Because it would be swarmed with guys pretending to be straight male escorts wanting free bookings.
They'd be easily weeded out though, I definitely don't behave on a date how I do on a booking!
But yes, it'll never happen
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I wouldn't know how to meet someone.. I'm pretty isolated, working from home, so the only guys I meet are clients..
Apart from that, I don't think there's many guys out there in my age-range (say between 30-45), who are single, not divorced with
10 kids (wouldn't mind that at all though lol), or come with a lot of baggage, like me.. ;)
Sometimes I think, who the f*** would want me, because of my chequered past, the job I do, and a lot of other things I'd rather not go into..
I hate the thought of being single for the rest of my life, but it's a pretty big possibility..
I am sure the right man is out there for you. Many of us have a past that we are either not proud of or felt we were making the right choice at that time even if it is not a choice we would make now. Your past makes you the person you are today. As for men, there are plenty of middle age single or divorced guys out there and normally by that age they have learned to not judge someone on what they have done but on what they do as they too will have made mistakes. I have found most dating sites are just there for men who want sex but there are some sites where you can meet single people such as local sites that offer nights out to get to know new friends which is normally great for meeting people new to the area or who have just had a life change and have found themselves not really knowing anyone. People go to these just to meet new people and plenty of men go along to them so perhaps try that.
I met my partner online on a animal rescue forum and we met up to discuss treatments for mange lol. It went from there and we have an honest relationship where he knows everything about me and I about him and he doesn't judge me even for doing this job as he is mature enough to realise this is just work and not who I am.
Don't ever give up on finding the right man as it is possible to meet him and for him to not care about your past or about your job and for him to support you emotionally when needed as well as not expecting sex all the time or to live off your money. There are still some good guys about
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Shewolf,
I totally agree with your attitude. I think someone would have to be rather bloody special for me to bother with at this stage. I get the sex, I get the money already. Maybe in a few years when my daughter leaves home I will crave the company, but the dog is pretty good too! ;D
Siorse,
Why would anyone want you??? Are you mad?! Any man would want you because you are a beautiful, dynamic, businesswoman, who has a lot to share with the right person. And, it's not about the past, it's about the here and now. ;)
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The trouble with single men is that the longer they have been single the more on the fence they are and evasive about dating skills. So a man who has been on his own a long time may not keep in touch well in between dates. Also the more mature they are the more set in their ways they are it would seem. Guess it depends how old they actually are.
They feel hard work then - when they ignore you I mean.
Perhaps it is better to just date ones who can not only cope with our job but also to pitch for ones who have only been single say a year or two or a few years only. Just thinking out loud here! :)
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The trouble with single men is that the longer they have been single the more on the fence they are and evasive about dating skills. So a man who has been on his own a long time may not keep in touch well in between dates. Also the more mature they are the more set in their ways they are it would seem. Guess it depends how old they actually are.
They feel hard work then - when they ignore you I mean.
Perhaps it is better to just date ones who can not only cope with our job but also to pitch for ones who have only been single say a year or two or a few years only. Just thinking out loud here! :)
Not necessarily try.
My partner is much older than I am, and although he'd been in a long marriage his wife was someone who didn't actually care a toss - they didn't have an interactive relationship she just shrugged at whatever he said and wandered off and did her own thing.
He's learned a lot about relationships and so have I.
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The trouble with single men is that the longer they have been single the more on the fence they are and evasive about dating skills. So a man who has been on his own a long time may not keep in touch well in between dates. Also the more mature they are the more set in their ways they are it would seem. Guess it depends how old they actually are.
They feel hard work then - when they ignore you I mean.
Perhaps it is better to just date ones who can not only cope with our job but also to pitch for ones who have only been single say a year or two or a few years only. Just thinking out loud here! :)
I agree. I think once they have been single for more than a couple of years they become a dead loss. I'm very suspicious of men who jump out of one relationship and straight into another, but when they have been on their own for a long time they become even more selfish and stuck in their ways.
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I don't think that's even remotely gender specific, to be honest. I'd change 'men' to 'people'.
Or better still 'some people', since this sort of lazy, tedious pigeonholing is really just crap.
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Having a bf would be good while escorting but now don't think too much about. It isn't high on my list any more. But if it happens.
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sometimes i just wish i could meet a nice male escort haha can someone start up an escort dating site please? hehehe :-* :P
I've googled this more times than I'm proud to admit... lol. But yeah they would have to somehow verify the person was a genuine sex worker the sites don't seem to exist unfortunately. Someone here woth the know how should start one! ;-)
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I met my fianc? on Tinder! Flourishing doesn't even come close! ;D
They are out there as many of us can testify! :-*
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I think the issue is many of us have different life experiences with men and can only talk from our own perspective.
What is true for one of us on here may not be true for someone else and whether we agree with our fellow escorts or not it is still interesting and valid to get different views on the subject of relationships.
Those of us who have found love through escorting are very lucky then as I certainly haven't.
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The trouble with single men is that the longer they have been single the more on the fence they are and evasive about dating skills. So a man who has been on his own a long time may not keep in touch well in between dates. Also the more mature they are the more set in their ways they are it would seem. Guess it depends how old they actually are.
They feel hard work then - when they ignore you I mean.
Perhaps it is better to just date ones who can not only cope with our job but also to pitch for ones who have only been single say a year or two or a few years only. Just thinking out loud here! :)
I agree. I think once they have been single for more than a couple of years they become a dead loss. I'm very suspicious of men who jump out of one relationship and straight into another, but when they have been on their own for a long time they become even more selfish and stuck in their ways.
I don't think 2 years is that long to be single for, better than being in a relationship because you don't want to be alone, I don't have any respect for people who can't be single (don't mean to offend anyone it's just how I feel about it)
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The trouble with single men is that the longer they have been single the more on the fence they are and evasive about dating skills. So a man who has been on his own a long time may not keep in touch well in between dates. Also the more mature they are the more set in their ways they are it would seem. Guess it depends how old they actually are.
They feel hard work then - when they ignore you I mean.
Perhaps it is better to just date ones who can not only cope with our job but also to pitch for ones who have only been single say a year or two or a few years only. Just thinking out loud here! :)
I agree. I think once they have been single for more than a couple of years they become a dead loss. I'm very suspicious of men who jump out of one relationship and straight into another, but when they have been on their own for a long time they become even more selfish and stuck in their ways.
I don't think 2 years is that long to be single for, better than being in a relationship because you don't want to be alone, I don't have any respect for people who can't be single (don't mean to offend anyone it's just how I feel about it)
Little Match Girl-I totally agree with you. I wonder what they are scared of (themselves?) x
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I used to be the type of person who was always in a relationship but over the past 10 y ears I have learned to be alone.
I feel much stronger for it but still would like a life companion but have it as an open relationship as I find it quite limiting to just sleep with the same partner for any length of time. This does not mean I can't or wouldn't love them. This is where escort work is giving me the freedom to have different men and continue to live my life......!
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Fifi that's a great idea. Why has noone thought of that before?
Because it would be swarmed with guys pretending to be straight male escorts wanting free bookings.
ahhh didn't think of that haha!!
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How many of you girls live in a traditional unit family kids hubby / boyfriend
Im married with kids but yes we are an odd couple
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How many of you girls live in a traditional unit family kids hubby / boyfriend
Im married with kids but yes we are an odd couple
I have had a long period of living with a BF but no kids. We led quite a normal life and hardly discussed my work. But these days I don't feel inclined to become involved in another relationship that would involve unpaid sex. After a couple of brief flings I've made a conscious decision to exclude that until if/when I feel the need again, which at the moment I don't in the slightest.
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Oh you wont say that when Mr Perfect comes along and ticks every box you ever made lol
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Oh you wont say that when Mr Perfect comes along and ticks every box you ever made lol
But "Mr Perfect" may not want a partner who has worked in the sex industry.
Not everyone wants or needs a guy in their life to be happy. I certainly don't and feel the same as Roseanna.
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I wouldn't want one either. Been there done that, I love being single too much to give it up for any man.
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Oh you wont say that when Mr Perfect comes along and ticks every box you ever made lol
But "Mr Perfect" may not want a partner who has worked in the sex industry.
Not everyone wants or needs a guy in their life to be happy. I certainly don't and feel the same as Roseanna.
If "Mr Perfect doesn't want a partner who works/has worked in the industry then he's not Mr perfect then (at least for me).
;)
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Oh you wont say that when Mr Perfect comes along and ticks every box you ever made lol
But "Mr Perfect" may not want a partner who has worked in the sex industry.
Not everyone wants or needs a guy in their life to be happy. I certainly don't and feel the same as Roseanna.
If "Mr Perfect doesn't want a partner who works/has worked in the industry then he's not Mr perfect then (at least for me).
;)
Exactly Ana. As far as I'm concerned there is no Mr Perfect. Everyone has their flaws, even us (but that's our secret) 😀
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Yup agree with last few posters. I made a decision early on in my escorting career not to date. I'm also old enough to know...no such thing as Mr Perfect!
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I'm on the other side from most of the replies, long term partner and child. It's nice enough but I still sometimes think life would be simpler if I was single. However I'm a massive clingy freak and like having someone who dotes on me :) our realationship works because there is honesty and no judgement (even if it did take me the first year of lying about my work)
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Another person with a long-term partner checking in. No kids though, and no plans for ever having any.
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There's also the fact that many people don't want to post about their private lives and personal circumstances on a public message board, which is going to skew the answers.
If "Mr Perfect doesn't want a partner who works/has worked in the industry then he's not Mr perfect then (at least for me).
What she said. I wouldn't be involved with someone who was narrowminded and judgemental no matter what my job was :).
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Yup agree with last few posters. I made a decision early on in my escorting career not to date. I'm also old enough to know...no such thing as Mr Perfect!
Nor Mrs perfect I am sure.
I have male friends, and one or two quite close. But I don't have sex with them even though I realise sometimes they would like to. I don't like having to switch between work sex and partner sex and remembering which I am supposed to be doing lol. I prefer work sex anyway, it's less complicated, and only if I retire will I change, and I've no plans for that to happen at least for a long time.
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Yup agree with last few posters. I made a decision early on in my escorting career not to date. I'm also old enough to know...no such thing as Mr Perfect!
Nor Mrs perfect I am sure.
I have male friends, and one or two quite close. But I don't have sex with them even though I realise sometimes they would like to. I don't like having to switch between work sex and partner sex and remembering which I am supposed to be doing lol. I prefer work sex anyway, it's less complicated, and only if I retire will I change, and I've no plans for that to happen at least for a long time.
Absolutely I'm far from perfect. I think what you say sums up partly why I wouldn't want a partner as well, I think it'd just mess with my head. I feel even tho what I'm doing with clients is certainly less complex, however whilst doing it I'd be unable to give 100% to a partner. Also like someone else said I wouldn't want someone judgemental...it'd take me a long time to trust someone enough to tell them so....for now I leave it.
But for those who manage both, good on you.
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I wouldn't want one either. Been there done that, I love being single too much to give it up for any man.
I understand this perspective but, for me, this work makes me want a partner so I can experience sex with feelings again...so I can really enjoy it again x
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Yup agree with last few posters. I made a decision early on in my escorting career not to date. I'm also old enough to know...no such thing as Mr Perfect!
Nor Mrs perfect I am sure.
I have male friends, and one or two quite close. But I don't have sex with them even though I realise sometimes they would like to. I don't like having to switch between work sex and partner sex and remembering which I am supposed to be doing lol. I prefer work sex anyway, it's less complicated, and only if I retire will I change, and I've no plans for that to happen at least for a long time.
Absolutely I'm far from perfect. I think what you say sums up partly why I wouldn't want a partner as well, I think it'd just mess with my head. I feel even tho what I'm doing with clients is certainly less complex, however whilst doing it I'd be unable to give 100% to a partner. Also like someone else said I wouldn't want someone judgemental...it'd take me a long time to trust someone enough to tell them so....for now I leave it.
But for those who manage both, good on you.
Must be so nice though to have sex with a man I find attractive and whom I have loving feelings for once again. I miss that. Just to snuggle up with a man would be wonderful, someone whose body you love rather and eyes you can look into haha (as opposed to looking anywhere but at him haha)
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I understand this perspective but, for me, this work makes me want a partner so I can experience sex with feelings again...so I can really enjoy it again x
One of the reasons why I enjoy being with my SO - sex at work makes me crave some 'real deal' at home, for the most part.
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Yup agree with last few posters. I made a decision early on in my escorting career not to date. I'm also old enough to know...no such thing as Mr Perfect!
Nor Mrs perfect I am sure.
I have male friends, and one or two quite close. But I don't have sex with them even though I realise sometimes they would like to. I don't like having to switch between work sex and partner sex and remembering which I am supposed to be doing lol. I prefer work sex anyway, it's less complicated, and only if I retire will I change, and I've no plans for that to happen at least for a long time.
Absolutely I'm far from perfect. I think what you say sums up partly why I wouldn't want a partner as well, I think it'd just mess with my head. I feel even tho what I'm doing with clients is certainly less complex, however whilst doing it I'd be unable to give 100% to a partner. Also like someone else said I wouldn't want someone judgemental...it'd take me a long time to trust someone enough to tell them so....for now I leave it.
But for those who manage both, good on you.
Must be so nice though to have sex with a man I find attractive and whom I have loving feelings for once again. I miss that. Just to snuggle up with a man would be wonderful, someone whose body you love rather and eyes you can look into haha (as opposed to looking anywhere but at him haha)
I know I do miss that I must admit! But there's plenty I don't miss. ...
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does anyone else just not class it as sex when you're working? if i ever think about the last time I had sex I never think of work
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I'm the same as you Kendall 100%
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Oh you wont say that when Mr Perfect comes along and ticks every box you ever made lol
But "Mr Perfect" may not want a partner who has worked in the sex industry.
Not everyone wants or needs a guy in their life to be happy. I certainly don't and feel the same as Roseanna.
+1
Genuinely happy alone at the moment
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Yup agree with last few posters. I made a decision early on in my escorting career not to date. I'm also old enough to know...no such thing as Mr Perfect!
Nor Mrs perfect I am sure.
I have male friends, and one or two quite close. But I don't have sex with them even though I realise sometimes they would like to. I don't like having to switch between work sex and partner sex and remembering which I am supposed to be doing lol. I prefer work sex anyway, it's less complicated, and only if I retire will I change, and I've no plans for that to happen at least for a long time.
Absolutely I'm far from perfect. I think what you say sums up partly why I wouldn't want a partner as well, I think it'd just mess with my head. I feel even tho what I'm doing with clients is certainly less complex, however whilst doing it I'd be unable to give 100% to a partner. Also like someone else said I wouldn't want someone judgemental...it'd take me a long time to trust someone enough to tell them so....for now I leave it.
But for those who manage both, good on you.
Must be so nice though to have sex with a man I find attractive and whom I have loving feelings for once again. I miss that. Just to snuggle up with a man would be wonderful, someone whose body you love rather and eyes you can look into haha (as opposed to looking anywhere but at him haha)
Although this sounds good too!
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does anyone else just not class it as sex when you're working? if i ever think about the last time I had sex I never think of work
Yes work sex is not sex to me. Just like any other service job waitressing / working in a shop or receptionist to me, only difference is the service entails my body and not a plate of food or office skills, but they're interchangeable
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does anyone else just not class it as sex when you're working? if i ever think about the last time I had sex I never think of work
i'm exactly the same. when i worked in bars, i didnt see pouring a drink for a friend or bf as work, just as i see sex in relationships differently to work sex.
it is simply a job, and not to me, actual sex. just another service industry job hehe
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does anyone else just not class it as sex when you're working? if i ever think about the last time I had sex I never think of work
I only classed it as sex with work. When feelings were involved with a partner or husband then it was love making.
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does anyone else just not class it as sex when you're working? if i ever think about the last time I had sex I never think of work
Its not sex to me. Its a paid service. I become a actress in a sense. Not the real me! Then switch off and go home and become me again!
Although i been out of a relationship for years, had a few flings for real sex/ making love. I am really picky on men. Theres got to be chemistry and genuine feelings, otherwise I may as well go to work!
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Long term relationship with a married man. Best of both worlds, someone who dotes on me and offers 'real' sex and cuddles, emotional support and is cool re the job, but I don't have to live with him getting under my feet and if I wanted free to date other men (I don't much want to). He's not going to leave his wife and nor do I want him to. It works.
It's not always easy, but he is a damn sight nicer than a lot of my past boyfriends and ex husband and almost my longest relationship!
I'm not sure I could live with anyone these days, but never say never, you never know what/who is round the corner or what might change in life.
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Long term relationship with a married man. Best of both worlds, someone who dotes on me and offers 'real' sex and cuddles, emotional support and is cool re the job, but I don't have to live with him getting under my feet and if I wanted free to date other men (I don't much want to). He's not going to leave his wife and nor do I want him to. It works.
It's not always easy, but he is a damn sight nicer than a lot of my past boyfriends and ex husband and almost my longest relationship!
I'm not sure I could live with anyone these days, but never say never, you never know what/who is round the corner or what might change in life.
I had a relationship like this in the past. It was a nice balance.
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Long term relationship with a married man. Best of both worlds, someone who dotes on me and offers 'real' sex and cuddles, emotional support and is cool re the job, but I don't have to live with him getting under my feet and if I wanted free to date other men (I don't much want to). He's not going to leave his wife and nor do I want him to. It works.
It's not always easy, but he is a damn sight nicer than a lot of my past boyfriends and ex husband and almost my longest relationship!
I'm not sure I could live with anyone these days, but never say never, you never know what/who is round the corner or what might change in life.
I had a friend in your position. He ended up leaving his wife and they lived together in the end. But it went pear shaped and he went back to his wife. She always maintained that they should have kept things just the way you describe...'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' type of thing. You have to be quite strong mentally however. But I think this work makes you stronger.
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I am married to my mister perfect who came along after I had decided that he didn't exist!
;D
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I am married to my mister perfect who came along after I had decided that he didn't exist!
;D
Always seems to be the way!
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Definitely!
Only once we have released our manifestation to the Universe can they be realised, in my experience 8)
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I also don't class work sex as sex, it's just work and I forget what happens by the time I get home.
Currently with someone, although he works away often I don't see him that much, (would love to see him more often), he's cool re my work.
I don't think I could live with a man again, but I also believe we should never say never when matters of the heart are concerned. Btw, 2 kids, both grown, 1 still at home.
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I understand this perspective but, for me, this work makes me want a partner so I can experience sex with feelings again...so I can really enjoy it again x
One of the reasons why I enjoy being with my SO - sex at work makes me crave some 'real deal' at home, for the most part.
Completely agree with this. I so look forward to seeing my partner at the end of the week (we don't live together). I think it actually makes me appreciate what we do together even more as I'm wanting to be with him and choosing him (with feelings involved of course) rather than just having sex with whoever comes through the door! My work sex and private sex are and feel completely different.
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I have long term lovers, who I see when I choose to, they know about my job but we don't discuss it. I love them both but wouldn't want to be in a real relationship with either. Apart from having nice time together, they buy me gifts I couldn't afford, so it's a win win ;D Would see then regardless of the gifts, but it makes it even more ideal.
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I am married to a very open minded man. He supports me fully, I couldn't do this job without him. We have five children between us and I'm a grandmother. He is not perfect, but neither am I, we are human and come with flaws. But we both accept each other's flaws.
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Shewolf I agree with you 100 percent. ...I am really craving the same...sometimes I don't want someone to pay me to be with them ...I really love being in a relationship and feeling wanted and needed by a spouse...even if there is some drama that comes with it but I really like having sex I actually enjoy without being paid for it...of course I am new to this business for now so won't be looking for a relationship for awhIle but I think about it lots...how nice it would be to go on dates and cuddle and have passionate romantic sex 😉
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Yep, if a client looks like he wants/makes moves towards a cuddle etc afterwards, I say I am going the loo and then start getting dressed! haha!
If I were with a man I loved, I am like a koala bear.
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my relationship is this at the moment
(COmes home at 8 after a ?700 booking)
Heya sweetness! Just paid the wedding photographer and registrar cos i made a guy cum twice today and dressing up
*we high five*
Yes xxxxx
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my relationship is this at the moment
(COmes home at 8 after a ?700 booking)
Heya sweetness! Just paid the wedding photographer and registrar cos i made a guy cum twice today and dressing up
*we high five*
Yes xxxxx
You just became my favourite person of the day :D
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I am married, but I do not go into details about work with my husband. He would prefer I gave it up as he is employed and able to support us without me needing to work but it is hard for me to give up my independence and asking hubby for money when i need it. :FF
But he loves, supports and respects me and is leaving it up to me to give up when i am ready.
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For me, sex in a relationship is on an equal footing...no power thing going on...but in sex work the client is the one calling all the shots every time, regardless of who he is and that's why I want a boyfriend again.
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my relationship is this at the moment
(COmes home at 8 after a ?700 booking)
Heya sweetness! Just paid the wedding photographer and registrar cos i made a guy cum twice today and dressing up
*we high five*
Yes xxxxx
Relationship goals ;D
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Oddly enough escorting has made me never want a bloke ever again! I feel I see enough men as it is lol.
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does anyone else just not class it as sex when you're working? if i ever think about the last time I had sex I never think of work
Its not sex to me. Its a paid service. I become a actress in a sense. Not the real me! Then switch off and go home and become me again!
This 100%, i even have a back-story, slightly different accent etc. It's like "i'm" not there.
I just started a new relationship and he has found out what I do. It's hard and I've barely worked- due to the guilt and not wanting to hurt him...x ???
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I've decided not to date for now and I'm happy being single. I do miss real intimacy sometimes but it's just not worth the hassle to me right now
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do any of you have boyfriends? or date? do they know what you do if they do does it make it harder?
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I'm married, he knows what I do cos I started sex work about 10 years into our relationship. He's fine with it. Just as I am fine for him to see prostitutes or watch cam ladies.
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I have a lovely boyfriend. He knew what i did before we got together and that definitely made it much easier, not harder. I couldn't handle lying all the time about my job, and why would I anyway?
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I am very happily married and escort; he's never been anything but supportive. It's too easy to decide that 'nobody' can handle the job when clearly, the good ones can! :-*
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My partner of 5 years is cool about it but my ex husband got stroppy now and then even though when we met he loved it, the novelty wore off I think. The right guy will support you and accept it x
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I've decided not to date for now and I'm happy being single. I do miss real intimacy sometimes but it's just not worth the hassle to me right now
I take this back, I am suddenly in a relationship now! Wasn't looking for anything but it just kindof happened. I told him about my job a few days after we first met. He is not ecstatic about it, but he accepts it. I don't know if it will last but pretty happy right now =)
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Enjoy it while it lasts K47!
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Usually they are ok with at the beginning until they get feelings. Some take it seriously like not being all thiers being faithful. Not that it is only an income.
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I'm in a good relationship, been about 8years so far.
An open relationship can work well. Feel I can't expect my partner to be sexually faithful if I'm not (yes I know it's only work but I can't honestly say I don't enjoy it).
So he can play. We both set limits we're happy with.
Find providing a threesome now and then really keeps sweet. ;)
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My bloke of nearly 2 years is cool about it. He knew what I did before we got together.The only thing that upsets him is when I have a day of idiots on the phone or if I get a horrible client.He knows it's a job for me at the moment and even when we move into together I will still do some bookings but probably not as many.We have already discussed that my bookings money will probably pay for our holidays etc while his wage will cover the day to day things,so I'll be semi retired! :D
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I'm going to buck the trend and say she's spot on especially that men shouldn't look at a WG as being the provider and he needs to work and put his money into the relationship.
I've learnt its good practice not to show SO the gifts that punters have given, I've learnt its best to leave work talk ect at the door and not bring it home, I've learnt its best never to discuss what happens in a bedroom with a punter, I've learnt to be a strong independent woman and not an emotional or physical punch bag. I've learnt its better to be single rather than have to deal with a man's delicate ego. I've escorted for over 33 years and in that time I've had a 19 year relationship with one man and married another, now I am happily divorced and single and I wouldn't have another man whilst still escorting for a gold watch.
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i wasnt looking for anything and things kind of happened with my friend he knew about my job from the beginning.
im happy with things as they are now and id like them to just stay like they are, i know he wants more from me but i dont want more i just like the relationship as it is no lables and he said if some girl offered sex to him he wouldnt say no and im fine with that. i dont wanna get hurt cause he cant handle my job
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question for those in relationships, do you have unprotected sex with your partner?
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question for those in relationships, do you have unprotected sex with your partner?
I do, sex without a condom or a clock is the best thing ever
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question for those in relationships, do you have unprotected sex with your partner?
I do, sex without a condom or a clock is the best thing ever
Yeah it is. I ask because I'm not using condoms with my new partner but he said to me yesterday that he'd mentioned it to a friend and his friend told him he was daft and shouldn't be having unprotected sex with me because of my job :-\ but I am very careful and use condoms for everything with clients and I get tested regularly. I didn't know whether to be offended by what his friend said
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I was an escort when I met my ex and was an escort when I met my current partner. Both have been loving, supportive, kind and understanding.
It helps that my current boyfriend has a history of hiring sex workers so I can chat to him about it and ask for his advice and help.
:D
I have unprotected sex with my partner (we are both clean and tested) and use condoms (I do not offer OWO or CIM) with clients.
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question for those in relationships, do you have unprotected sex with your partner?
I do, sex without a condom or a clock is the best thing ever
Yeah it is. I ask because I'm not using condoms with my new partner but he said to me yesterday that he'd mentioned it to a friend and his friend told him he was daft and shouldn't be having unprotected sex with me because of my job :-\ but I am very careful and use condoms for everything with clients and I get tested regularly. I didn't know whether to be offended by what his friend said
The only time I wouldn't is if say a condom had split with a client or something that had comprised my sexual health. I get why his friend would say it because of the nature of your job but you know and I know you're health is paramount and you're tested more than the average person
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question for those in relationships, do you have unprotected sex with your partner?
Yes.Most people that have been dating or in a relationship for some time decide to do away with condoms I would say.My partner has had the snip.I'm on the pill anyway and always use condoms with clients.
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question for those in relationships, do you have unprotected sex with your partner?
I do, sex without a condom or a clock is the best thing ever
Yeah it is. I ask because I'm not using condoms with my new partner but he said to me yesterday that he'd mentioned it to a friend and his friend told him he was daft and shouldn't be having unprotected sex with me because of my job :-\ but I am very careful and use condoms for everything with clients and I get tested regularly. I didn't know whether to be offended by what his friend said
I think I'd be more pissed off that he is discussing it with his friend.Its got nothing to do with anyone but yourselves.You together will figure out if and when you are comfortable enough to do without condoms not his mate!
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Yeah it is. I ask because I'm not using condoms with my new partner but he said to me yesterday that he'd mentioned it to a friend and his friend told him he was daft and shouldn't be having unprotected sex with me because of my job :-\ but I am very careful and use condoms for everything with clients and I get tested regularly. I didn't know whether to be offended by what his friend said
Sounds like the friend is pretty uneducated and believes the stereotype about all sex workers being 'dirty' and 'riddled.' Hopefully your partner quickly corrected him.
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question for those in relationships, do you have unprotected sex with your partner?
Of course! ;D
One of the many perks of being married!
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A healthy relationship under any circumstances is based on absolute honesty, trust and commitment to making it work. If you meet the right person they will be fine with what you do. If you have to play stupid games with them to pacify them, you're with the wrong person.
I completely agree. :)
Me also, very true words. Although I do understand how guys would be torn up on a night that I'm working
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Am I the only one who has a bloke who gets turned on by their other half being a prossie? He's got a very good job of his own and has no involvement with my work, but the idea of me coming home having had several guys in a day really seems to get him going.
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Am I the only one who has a bloke who gets turned on by their other half being a prossie? He's got a very good job of his own and has no involvement with my work, but the idea of me coming home having had several guys in a day really seems to get him going.
It's called "cuckhold fetish". ;)
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Me also, very true words. Although I do understand how guys would be torn up on a night that I'm working
Why on earth would a guy be 'torn up' when you're working???
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Some guys get jealous at the thought of having sex with other men. It has taken a while and finally feel over him now. I am yet to met those. I seem to attract the jealous ones each time. So now it's just me, myself and I. Don't need a man in my life. Paying clients are enough for me.
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Me also, very true words. Although I do understand how guys would be torn up on a night that I'm working
Why on earth would a guy be 'torn up' when you're working???
Maybe it's cos he is in love and doesn't like the thought of his girlfriend having sex with other men?
:D
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I would say that's a fairly standard thing to feel for people i.e not liking your partner having sex with other people.For those of us in relationships with guys who are cool about it,I would say that is a rare blessing.
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me and my hubby to be go to sex parties together so escorting isnt a big thing. he just tells me to make sure i dont tire myself out and keep safe! x
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me and my hubby to be go to sex parties together so escorting isnt a big thing. he just tells me to make sure i dont tire myself out and keep safe! x
That's amazing! I need to find that type of relationship :)
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My ex was a pain in the arse about me working when we was together. Whenever we had a disagreement it would be the first thing he mentioned and used against me. He also showed his mum my old AW profile and the silly cow plastered it all over Facebook LOL
Needless to say he's no longer my boyfriend.
I'm so happy for those of you who's partners are supportive, honestly. I would love that.
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Yeah I'm a lucky gal!
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I'm pretty happy being single, I have lots of intimate and loving friendships, my own income, my kids, and my cats ;)
Recently I've been really missing having sex, like not with clients or even casual fuckbuddies, the kind of sex you have when you're really into somebody. I do get the odd pang and wonder if I'll ever meet anyone who would fit the bill but it's really not on my priority list right now.
I know lots of sex workers in relationships, but most of them are poly or open in some way. I'm sexually adventurous and I like to share on my own terms (like at sex parties etc) but essentially I am monogamous, and I want a mostly monogamous relationship. It seems an impossible dream to ever find a guy who was not only supportive of my work, but who understands fully that it is work, and is happy to stay monogamous with me.
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I'm pretty happy being single, I have lots of intimate and loving friendships, my own income, my kids, and my cats ;)
Recently I've been really missing having sex, like not with clients or even casual fuckbuddies, the kind of sex you have when you're really into somebody. I do get the odd pang and wonder if I'll ever meet anyone who would fit the bill but it's really not on my priority list right now.
I know lots of sex workers in relationships, but most of them are poly or open in some way. I'm sexually adventurous and I like to share on my own terms (like at sex parties etc) but essentially I am monogamous, and I want a mostly monogamous relationship. It seems an impossible dream to ever find a guy who was not only supportive of my work, but who understands fully that it is work, and is happy to stay monogamous with me.
My relationship is monogamous in that the only sex with other partners is my paid work, my other half choses not to have sex with anyone else. If I were to have a freebie, or he have sex with anyone else that would be considered unfaithful.
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Me also, very true words. Although I do understand how guys would be torn up on a night that I'm working
Why on earth would a guy be 'torn up' when you're working???
Maybe it's cos he is in love and doesn't like the thought of his girlfriend having sex with other men?
:D
I just found it a really odd phrase. Can't understand why a guy would be 'torn up' just because his girlfriend has gone to work.
I don't get 'torn up' when my boyfriend goes to work, so why would he when I do?
If a boyfriend can't grasp that sex work is just a normal job then you need to get rid.
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I just found it a really odd phrase. Can't understand why a guy would be 'torn up' just because his girlfriend has gone to work.
I don't get 'torn up' when my boyfriend goes to work, so why would he when I do?
If a boyfriend can't grasp that sex work is just a normal job then you need to get rid.
THIS! its a job, id rather sell my body services then sell my mind to a job i hated x
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I think to us sex work is work but to someone who has not experienced it, it is hard to imagine what goes on.
I personally appreciate that some men would find it distressing for their partner to be involved in sex work and I wouldn't judge them for feeling that way either.
Everybody is different and I don't think a man is wrong to care if his partner has sex with men for money.
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I think to us sex work is work but to someone who has not experienced it, it is hard to imagine what goes on.
I personally appreciate that some men would find it distressing for their partner to be involved in sex work and I wouldn't judge them for feeling that way either.
Everybody is different and I don't think a man is wrong to care if his partner has sex with men for money.
This is the thing that I struggle with in a way because I can completely understand why someone wouldn't want a serious relationship with me if I was to be honest and say what I do. And it's their right and choice just as it's our right and choice to do what we do. I would love it if someone could understand but I feel like for the majority unless someone was involved somehow within sex industry or very open sexually it would be unlikely....And even then I can imagine complications but who knows I'm sure it's not impossible based on some of these posts as well.
When I was younger I feel as if relationships have effected my decisions too much and I was too naive to realize I needed to think about what I truly want rather than just doing what's convenient and best for the relationship and all to get not that much back in reality. So yeah I just wouldn't even want to be in the position now to feel such emotions for someone most probably narrow minded, who in their own way at whatever type of level view me as their property and to have to admit and have something in the open that they'd just expect me to quit just like that because we're in "love" now.
However times are moving forward and maybe there is someone/people out there for everyone sex worker or not... ;D
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I think to us sex work is work but to someone who has not experienced it, it is hard to imagine what goes on.
I personally appreciate that some men would find it distressing for their partner to be involved in sex work and I wouldn't judge them for feeling that way either.
Everybody is different and I don't think a man is wrong to care if his partner has sex with men for money.
+1
I agree wholeheartedly with each of these points.
Recently I discovered a situation with a friend of mine, not a close one, who is living with a guy and still escorting - she sees a LOT of clients. But she doesn't sleep with him at all and he is quite distressed by it especially because she discusses her client "issues" with him. I told him to leave but he doesn't want to abandon her (she is dependant on him to an extent). I think that is actually quite cruel, but probably she has her reasons, I just can't figure out what they could be. He's not ugly or anything, just a bit older.
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Personally, a man too cool with the idea that I'm a WG would kind of scare me a bit, and I would look for his inner pimp to come out at any time. So I have opted to stay relationship free until my set retiring date. I think a man with an understanding is a great asset. I would still hope to find a man that I can talk to about this when it's over, and he can still look at me as a lady capable of being in a relationship (which I'm contemplating even now. I've been too independent for too long and sex is the least of my worries.). But my opinionated friend told me that when I bury Tiffani Jameson, her adventures should cease to exist in my mind. I would hope that wouldn't be the case, but statistically, it's looking that way.
The above words are very revealing and says a lot regarding what you think about your occupation, and ..it's not good. ( Sadly It reminds me to a Groucho Marx quote: "I refuse to join any club that would have me for a member".)
Basically you're saying that what you're doing is wrong and no non-pimp civvie man is going to love you and you don't blame them because you don't deserve to be loved because of your occupation. That's a pretty powerful and sad statement.
If doing sex work undermines your self-esteem so much I'm not sure this is a job for you miss jameson.
"Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging"- Brene brown.
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Though I don't agree entirely with Ana, it did make me sad to read your post, Miss Jameson.
True, a man whose understanding may raise alarm bells - certainly I question whether the men in my life fetishise my job as a sex worker or not - but there are plenty of people who are able to acknowledge your profession and keep it separate from your job. My last boyfriend was a musician. I wasn't going to start insisting that he works all the gigs he was offered just to earn more money, nor did I insist on being a groupie with him wherever he went; i just knew it was his job and I saw it as a smaller piece in the bigger make up of who he was.
If your job fills you with shame, or at least makes me feel like you want to forget it ever happened when you retire, you may find it useful to question why that is. Certainly, I want to draw a line in the sand when I'm 'done' working, or have moved on, but I'm certainly not embarrassed about my job, nor do I think it says anything integral about my personality or how I view myself.
Cliche but if you don't think you're worthy of love, you can't expect others to think you're worthy of love.
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This is the thing that I struggle with in a way because I can completely understand why someone wouldn't want a serious relationship with me if I was to be honest and say what I do. And it's their right and choice just as it's our right and choice to do what we do. I would love it if someone could understand but I feel like for the majority unless someone was involved somehow within sex industry or very open sexually it would be unlikely....And even then I can imagine complications but who knows I'm sure it's not impossible based on some of these posts as well.
When I was younger I feel as if relationships have effected my decisions too much and I was too naive to realize I needed to think about what I truly want rather than just doing what's convenient and best for the relationship and all to get not that much back in reality. So yeah I just wouldn't even want to be in the position now to feel such emotions for someone most probably narrow minded, who in their own way at whatever type of level view me as their property and to have to admit and have something in the open that they'd just expect me to quit just like that because we're in "love" now.
However times are moving forward and maybe there is someone/people out there for everyone sex worker or not... ;D
It's only unlikely if you have it in your head that your job is something to be ashamed of. Then you'll attract the wrong type of guys.
I've dated several guys who have not had a problem with it at all and there are plenty of posts on here from ladies in relationships where the the fact that they do sex work isn't even an issue. And why should it be? My partner has never been involved in the sex industry and is a pretty monogamous kind of guy and yet he still manages to be fine with my job.
If you're relaxed and groovy about your job, 90% of people you tell will be too.
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This is the thing that I struggle with in a way because I can completely understand why someone wouldn't want a serious relationship with me if I was to be honest and say what I do. And it's their right and choice just as it's our right and choice to do what we do. I would love it if someone could understand but I feel like for the majority unless someone was involved somehow within sex industry or very open sexually it would be unlikely....And even then I can imagine complications but who knows I'm sure it's not impossible based on some of these posts as well.
When I was younger I feel as if relationships have effected my decisions too much and I was too naive to realize I needed to think about what I truly want rather than just doing what's convenient and best for the relationship and all to get not that much back in reality. So yeah I just wouldn't even want to be in the position now to feel such emotions for someone most probably narrow minded, who in their own way at whatever type of level view me as their property and to have to admit and have something in the open that they'd just expect me to quit just like that because we're in "love" now.
However times are moving forward and maybe there is someone/people out there for everyone sex worker or not... ;D
It's only unlikely if you have it in your head that your job is something to be ashamed of. Then you'll attract the wrong type of guys.
I've dated several guys who have not had a problem with it at all and there are plenty of posts on here from ladies in relationships where the the fact that they do sex work isn't even an issue. And why should it be? My partner has never been involved in the sex industry and is a pretty monogamous kind of guy and yet he still manages to be fine with my job.
If you're relaxed and groovy about your job, 90% of people you tell will be too.
Yes I do get that impression that lots are in relationship as I can see from many posts :) I'm not ashamed at all. It's just for a variety of reasons I choose not to be open about to anyone at this point. Not everyone is as understanding as you want them to be. You can be proud of many things and a guy can like those things even at first but then start to have an issue with when you're together. I've had things exposed about me before on a different subject just to be spiteful and to control me. Of course I accept not everyone is like that and I do believe there is a type of person for everyone.
On the other hand if someone doesn't accept what job you do whether you're a detective, sex worker or whatever else it's that persons choice even if it seems unreasonable and said person is not right for you.
I haven't dated much since I've been escorting but maybe that will change it's only been a short time. I like men and women though so maybe at the moment I would prefer to be with a woman at this point of time if I was with someone but I don't knw it depends who I meet and develop feeling for.
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I'm in a monogamous extremely loving relationship with a wonderful man who I've been married to for a good few years now and he is 100% supportive and understanding of my job and that I will quit when I feel the time is right. We met at work when he drove me for one of the many agencies I worked for 4 years ago and he's never paid for it either with me or any other woman. He is my unicorn man and still my driver although now I'm independent and he has never pimped me either in fact I'm always insisting I carry on working until it's no longer necessary. He has his own self employed job and it just works, I don't know how but I'm so thankful that it does!
Men that accept this type of work without prejudice or because it 'turns them on so much' are a rare breed but they do exist.
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Have a partner for 4yrs now and start escorting from the beginning of our relationship.
I have had doubts about doing this job and about being in a relationship.
I never ever believed in this "type of relationship" and sometimes when I feel down I argue with him and tell him that I am not so secure. A bit scared of how my/our future looks like.
He's jealous and suspicious sometimes...but is normal to be like that.
We always make jokes and laughs about my clients but i never talk about sex.
In 4yrs we have had few argues/fights and wanted to split up every time but he never agreed with that. He said he loves me and he can't imagine life without me and I agree with him, we been through a lot together and we love each other so much.
I am working and living in the same place with him. He is my "security" and he do all the websites and he make sure we save up money and don't spend too much so I can stop asap this job.
He is so kind to me... He will never complain if there's no food in the fridge if I am busy.
When I complain about being sour down there he won't touch me, sometimes for more than a week.
I have days when I want to fu.k but he said he don't want to "hurt me".
I love him so much. I know his family, he know my family. Our relationship is so serious. Soon we'll get married and have lots of kids. Can't wait lol.
Good luck to you girls in finding the right man.
:-* :-*
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He's jealous and suspicious sometimes...but is normal to be like that.
Is it normal? I wouldn't say it is at all!
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I think it is because the guy is not a robot. He is a human so sometimes what his partner does will effect him.
Unless he has a kink for what she does...in which case that is completely different.
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I think it is because the guy is not a robot. He is a human so sometimes what his partner does will effect him.
Unless he has a kink for what she does...in which case that is completely different.
No, I don't agree that the options are: 1. The guy is a robot. 2. The guy is jealous and suspicious. 3. The guy is turned on by her job.
The guys I have dated recognised that this is just a job and didn't get either jealous or turned on by it. They were not robots either, they really cared for me.
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OK, fair enough, I just can't imagine meeting a man like that. Most men I have known in my life would freak and tell where to go straight away. I get that they are all different though.
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Aw Shewolf, I'm really sorry to hear that. I get that it's really easy to assume all guys are like the ones you've encountered and I am guilty at times of that too. I assume that because everyone has been fine with my job that all guys are like that. It's awful to think there are guys out there who would try and hold that over you or behave disrespectfully to you just because you were/are a sex worker.
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It has got to the point now that I'm not bothered about dating any clients. The last two were a nightmare in the end. From my experience they seem to be ok with at the beginning until.... Then problems. Not worth my loss of income with all the wasted time for nothing.
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I don't want a relationship at all but over the years have told a couple of men - and they made a fuss. We weren't dating but they still objected. They don't bother talking to me much now perhaps they don't see me as a normal human being, or i am somebody who needs to 'sort their life out'.
I have also mentioned the job to men online and they just vanish.
I can only imagine about 5 per cent of the male population is fine with it!
Like I say I don't want a relationship at all anyway. Always best to never mention it to others in my opinion apart from the very infrequent female friend.
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He's jealous and suspicious sometimes...but is normal to be like that.
Is it normal? I wouldn't say it is at all!
This is my point of view.
His suspicions starts a while back when one of my friends in this job ran away with a client and she had a partner. ???
And jealous ? because we live together and I am working in the same flat and sometimes he can hear some noises or what people are saying when coming inside the flat.
To be honest, I think I was more upset if he wasn't jealous. (Btw, very rare happen to show that feeling)
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my fella is fine with it an theres nothing weird about that! we aren't conventional people i suppose, we go to sex parties and fetish clubs etc. The only thing he worries about is my safety and to not tire myself out! im very lucky! x
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I can only imagine about 5 per cent of the male population is fine with it!
Personally, I can imagine that 95% of the male population is fine with it. That doesn't mean either of our imaginings is based in reality!
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So, because of this line of work I've always thought it was impossible to do this and have a boyfriend. I would see guys on a casual basis but I always made it clear I didn't want an actual relationship. Until about a month ago, someone who I was seeing casually wanted more & I decided to tell him I was an escort but he still wanted to see me. He seemed pretty fine with it, he did seem a little bothered everytime I had to work but nothing majorly and we ended up getting really serious in the last month. About a couple days ago, he really wanted me to quit and confessed he's been bottling his emotions & drinking the nights I had to work. I told him I couldnt quit & if he couldnt deal with it then we should split.
He thought about whether he could handle it and decided he could but I am unsure whether this will still hurt and cause problems for him eventhough he thinks he can deal with it and is cooler about it.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Or does anyone have a boyfriend who knows what you do and does he deal with it well?
I've been in a relationship for the past 4 months with a friend. I decided not to tell him what I do as he has mental health problems. Despite this, he is a wonderful person and I love him dearly.
This week he left me. Not because he found out what my job is, but because of his issues.
I am so glad I didn't tell him. I would have felt a lot worse if it was down to my job.
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Dating a "friend" is one way of losing a friend. (I don't mean to be smartypants but I have seen examples) Usually, the romance is over, friendship is also gone.
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I know what you mean, but I hope it won't be like this because of the circumstances surrounding the breakup. Part of me, however much it hurts now, thinks he and the universe have done me favour. But I know for a fact that if he did uncover what I do for a job then the friendship would almost certainly be gone.
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I started doing this when me and my ex broke up, we had been together for 2 years and I missed him like mad! Now we're back together and I rely on the money too much to give it up! I've only taken one booking since we started again but I feel so guilty now I don't know what to do!! Has anyone else been in this situation?? I know if I told him he'd be horrified and definitely would not support the decision, if I carry on and not tell him I'm effectively cheating I guess and if he ever found out it;d break his heart :(. Or, I could go back to using the day job wages and being broke and miserable. Help please!! Apologies for the long, ranting moan there!! (: So envious of you girls that have supportive partners!! Lucky things!! ;)
xx
Honey, do what's best for you. Seriously.
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My ex found out that I'm a prostitute today (well technically not anymore seeing as I webcam only now). It's a big deal to me because I'm still madly in love with him and we we've been seeing each other again and talking about being together again.
He asked me to be completely honest with him before we get together as he had his suspicions (he asked for honesty because I've lied and cheated on him in the past) so I was completely honest and told him everything. AMazingly he didn't immediately tell me he was never going to see me again as I thought he would. He was calm and asked questions about it....but he doesn't want me anymore. Not even for a casual fwb situation.
I know this sounds silly but it really hurts. It really really hurts . I'll never see someone that I really love again because of my job.
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My ex found out that I'm a prostitute today (well technically not anymore seeing as I webcam only now). It's a big deal to me because I'm still madly in love with him and we we've been seeing each other again and talking about being together again.
He asked me to be completely honest with him before we get together as he had his suspicions (he asked for honesty because I've lied and cheated on him in the past) so I was completely honest and told him everything. AMazingly he didn't immediately tell me he was never going to see me again as I thought he would. He was calm and asked questions about it....but he doesn't want me anymore. Not even for a casual fwb situation.
I know this sounds silly but it really hurts. It really really hurts . I'll never see someone that I really love again because of my job.
Xxx You have my deepest sympathy.
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My ex found out that I'm a prostitute today (well technically not anymore seeing as I webcam only now). It's a big deal to me because I'm still madly in love with him and we we've been seeing each other again and talking about being together again.
He asked me to be completely honest with him before we get together as he had his suspicions (he asked for honesty because I've lied and cheated on him in the past) so I was completely honest and told him everything. AMazingly he didn't immediately tell me he was never going to see me again as I thought he would. He was calm and asked questions about it....but he doesn't want me anymore. Not even for a casual fwb situation.
I know this sounds silly but it really hurts. It really really hurts . I'll never see someone that I really love again because of my job.
You have my sympathy also as you tried to do the right thing and it backfired on you.
Don't rule out love in the future; just don't tell them about your private work. In my view, our conscience is the price we pay ourselves. This work comes with a price. It doesn't have to be you losing someone you love; it could be you living with the knowledge you have a secret and you will protect them from the truth.
xx
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My ex found out that I'm a prostitute today (well technically not anymore seeing as I webcam only now). It's a big deal to me because I'm still madly in love with him and we we've been seeing each other again and talking about being together again.
He asked me to be completely honest with him before we get together as he had his suspicions (he asked for honesty because I've lied and cheated on him in the past) so I was completely honest and told him everything. AMazingly he didn't immediately tell me he was never going to see me again as I thought he would. He was calm and asked questions about it....but he doesn't want me anymore. Not even for a casual fwb situation.
I know this sounds silly but it really hurts. It really really hurts . I'll never see someone that I really love again because of my job.
Another one here who really feels for you,!! So sorry, I know how much it must hurt. I disagree with those who say you should just lie in future. In my mind if I am lying to stay in the relationship then it's not real anyway.
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I'll never see someone that I really love again because of my job.
Aw, don't be too sure just yet - you said he only found out today and he deserves a chance to get used to the news and think about it properly. If he still feels the same way when a bit of time has passed, at least you'll have both got past the initial stuff and you'll be feeling stronger for dealing with it :).
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Aw, don't be too sure just yet - you said he only found out today and he deserves a chance to get used to the news and think about it properly. If he still feels the same way when a bit of time has passed, at least you'll have both got past the initial stuff and you'll be feeling stronger for dealing with it :).
Amy is right.I've been with my fella for over 2 years and he has always known what I do and he accepts it,it's not an issue.Yes you are going to find it harder being in this job to meet someone but it is possible for sure and your ex may just come round when he has had more time to digest it.
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Thank you so much for the support everybody. I've been in tears all day but thank you so much. You're right amy I will give him some time and shewolf i've been trying to keep it private and this is the exact reason why. I don't want to lie but it sucks when you're honest and this is the reaction.
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Thank you so much for the support everybody. I've been in tears all day but thank you so much. You're right amy I will give him some time and shewolf i've been trying to keep it private and this is the exact reason why. I don't want to lie but it sucks when you're honest and this is the reaction.
Aww sorry to hear. I can't add anything but I'm sending big hugs.
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Sorry to hear it Lulu. Rejection always sucks but when it's because you've trusted someone with such an important piece of information, that really stings.
But as Amy said - give him time to think. If you're only camming now and not doing meets, it's possible he might have a change of heart.
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My Boyfriend of 7 years, soon to be my husband, (when he pops the question :) ) he knows about me and is very supportive. I have no pressure and I explained what I did at the start, I prefer to be alone than have loads of shit later.
We talk regular over all parts of my work and he knows I love him so much, I am good at my job, the money is helpful and i like it. I am very possessive and I get a little worried why he doesn?t want to take other girls but he seems contented to be with me and I am coming to accept its me he loves, he knows my lovemaking is only for him, sex is for the clients.
I have to keep pinching myself and try not forget him in the balance of life.
Tell the guys at the start, if they run arr well... bye.
If they stay, talk more, if they get too turned about it still be careful with your emotions.
If he is a client, personally I would not like him seeing anyone else. ( but that?s your call)
Relationships are all different, if it works for you, then its right ;D
Web dating is a good way to look for guys.
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Layla Blu you have put that very well.
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Another one here who really feels for you,!! So sorry, I know how much it must hurt. I disagree with those who say you should just lie in future. In my mind if I am lying to stay in the relationship then it's not real anyway.
Totally agree with this one , best wishes me give it some time x
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My Boyfriend of 7 years, soon to be my husband, (when he pops the question :) ) he knows about me and is very supportive. I have no pressure and I explained what I did at the start, I prefer to be alone than have loads of shit later.
We talk regular over all parts of my work and he knows I love him so much, I am good at my job, the money is helpful and i like it. I am very possessive and I get a little worried why he doesn?t want to take other girls but he seems contented to be with me and I am coming to accept its me he loves, he knows my lovemaking is only for him, sex is for the clients.
I have to keep pinching myself and try not forget him in the balance of life.
Tell the guys at the start, if they run arr well... bye.
If they stay, talk more, if they get too turned about it still be careful with your emotions.
If he is a client, personally I would not like him seeing anyone else. ( but that?s your call)
Relationships are all different, if it works for you, then its right ;D
Web dating is a good way to look for guys.
TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!!! LOL
nah i get it tell them at the start but you know its scary
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TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!!! LOL
nah i get it tell them at the start but you know its scary
Been there tried failed so the conclusion is get out first then mingle for me, it is a good job I don't crave a bf.
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Oh my! I have to agree with Layla.
My partner of 2 years, soon to be husband this summer, used to be a client of mine. I never had or wanted a relationship with a client before but he is the best man I have ever met. It hasn't always been easy, but then again no relationship ever is. He is understanding, supportive and doesn't see anyone else, because he doesn't want to, although I wouldn't like him to either. He understands that this is a job and doesn't get off on it. His daughter, from a previous relationship, has been a godsend who has had an incredibly positive effect in my life.
Everyone is different, and every relationship is different. After this experience I wouldn't advise anyone to dismiss the possibility of a relationship. Keep your head on your shoulders and be careful of who you open up to. But love is a very powerful thing, one that may appear when you least expect it and never appear again. You may never know unless you embrace it.
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Everyone is different, and every relationship is different. After this experience I wouldn't advise anyone to dismiss the possibility of a relationship. Keep your head on your shoulders and be careful of who you open up to. But love is a very powerful thing, one that may appear when you least expect it and never appear again. You may never know unless you embrace it.
I fully agree.
____
Personally, my husband is a former client. Then he knows from the beginning the truth about my work.
I swore never to fall in love with a client. And when I knew him, I would never have thought of living a love story with him. One of the reasons being because he was 18 years older than me. But one day he told me he was in love with me and I decided to make an attempt, to give a chance to this love.
I do not regret my decision. I discovered that this man is a wonderful person, extremely intelligent and who accepts me as I am.
We have been married for 4 years and we are VERY happy together. :) So I think love is possible for sexworkers. ;)
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My ex found out that I'm a prostitute today (well technically not anymore seeing as I webcam only now). It's a big deal to me because I'm still madly in love with him and we we've been seeing each other again and talking about being together again.
He asked me to be completely honest with him before we get together as he had his suspicions (he asked for honesty because I've lied and cheated on him in the past) so I was completely honest and told him everything. AMazingly he didn't immediately tell me he was never going to see me again as I thought he would. He was calm and asked questions about it....but he doesn't want me anymore. Not even for a casual fwb situation.
I know this sounds silly but it really hurts. It really really hurts . I'll never see someone that I really love again because of my job.
Sorry to hear this.
But you are not alone. There is always worse... I can add myself here..
So, after I told him about past ( I had taken a break and was not doing it anymore) 1.5 years after we were together and I realised that I really....you know...for him (sorry I can't use this word), he stayed with me for another 1.5 years and we lived together actually. At his last trip to his parents in India (I dropped him to the airport in his car) he never came back. He eventually txt me that he had gone for his marriage... second arranged marriage..he was already divorced from his first arranged marriage. He was telling his family and his new wife that I was the "landlady"
OK I am a daft blonde...fine I know.... ::)
So here I am back with you girls and guys! And I'm loving this....
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Sorry to hear this.
At his last trip to his parents in India (I dropped him to the airport in his car) he never came back. He eventually txt me that he had gone for his marriage... second arranged marriage..he was already divorced from his first arranged marriage. He was telling his family and his new wife that I was the "landlady"
OK I am a daft blonde...fine I know.... ::)
So here I am back with you girls and guys! And I'm loving this....
Oh darling, so sorry to hear this! You are definitely not a daft blonde! He's such a prick. I can't believe how cowardly men are sometimes!
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OK I am a daft blonde...fine I know.... ::)
So here I am back with you girls and guys! And I'm loving this....
Honey I feel for you. You are not a daft blonde. I have a lovely civvie friend who went through something similar with a British born man from an asian background. There were strong cultural pressures but yes, the guy was a dickhead. After years of being together he ended up leaving her for an arranged marriage.
My partner also knows a man who broke up his marriage for an arranged one again due to cultural pressures from his family. I don't aim to generalise.
Take care of yourself, mend your heart but keep it open. Love is everywhere and will find its way to you with the right person.
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He was telling his family and his new wife that I was the "landlady"
Is this a younger guy? I wouldn't say it's always the case, but younger men/freeloaders both with or without his successful career in his own right can sometimes see a single older/mature woman, sexually experienced and easy to prey on, treating her like an adult version of caretakers, who give these younger guys a nice roof over his head, a warm, clean bed and free sex when it suited him.
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I think I've struck lucky with mr megan I've been on and off with him since I was 14. He was my first boyfriend. He has always been supportive whenever I have made a decision about my career first stripping then escorting. We even work together sometimes! 7 nearly 8 years later we still got it going on. He helps me underwear shop for work, buys me condoms when I'm running too behind and have left them at home, always comes home from the pound shop with stacks of baby wipes, and is great in bed but at the same time only wants me! I suggested getting an escort for a threesome for his birthday but he just said he wasn't interested and that he was more than happy spending his birthday going to a simple restaurant in our hometown and spending the evening together. He also cooks, cleans decorates our home and loves animals and if I tell him I can't be bothered to work one day he motivates me. I really am blessed. ;D
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That's so lovely megan! Gives me a shred of hope!
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I think I got lulled into a false sense of security as I had a boyfriend for a few years not long after I started escorting who was always really good and supportive and never had any issues with what I do.
It was only after we broke up and I started seeing other guys that I had my first experiences of men's insecurities and bad attitudes, even from those who on the surface seemed fine with the job.
But I do think (as was the case with my ex boyfriend) that there are people out there who are genuinely supportive and don't have problems with sex work in relationships. I guess for me it's a bit easier as I'm quite open about what I do and surround myself with people who have the same politics as me so relationships and friendships aren't as problematic.
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Call me a hopeless romantic but I think that when love happens, as rare as it is, people find ways to overcome their limitations and any obstacles in front of them no matter what these may be. This is my experience anyway.
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I think I got lulled into a false sense of security as I had a boyfriend for a few years not long after I started escorting who was always really good and supportive and never had any issues with what I do.
It was only after we broke up and I started seeing other guys that I had my first experiences of men's insecurities and bad attitudes, even from those who on the surface seemed fine with the job.
But I do think (as was the case with my ex boyfriend) that there are people out there who are genuinely supportive and don't have problems with sex work in relationships. I guess for me it's a bit easier as I'm quite open about what I do and surround myself with people who have the same politics as me so relationships and friendships aren't as problematic.
I take it it wasn't your work that split you up in the end then. I think some relationships start out okay before jealously rears it's head.
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That's so lovely megan! Gives me a shred of hope!
I offered to share but he said he just wants me hahah
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I offered to share but he said he just wants me hahah
;D ;D ;D
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Either he's a good liar or genuinely is happy with just me. ???
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I'm in a similar boat to Megan. Although I had been escorting about 6 months when I meant my current boyfriend. I didn't tell him at the start because to be honest I wasn't looking for such commitment. Anyway, months went by and we got along great and I couldn't fault him. I was escorting behind his back and everything started feeling weird for me. So I ended it thinking that was the only way as I couldn't risk telling him. He chased me and tried so hard bless him, and of course he just couldn't understand why I'd walk away from what he thought was a perfect relationship.
We went camping and he kept asking me why, saying he knew there was something I wasn't telling him etc.... then he just blurted it out "are you a call girl?" I was like FUCKKKKKKKKK! But that was when I just decided to confess. It was hard and he was upset but overall he took it very well, respected my honesty and told me we'd get through it. I remember I just couldn't believe it! I could still be a whore and have a decent man? I thought he'd probably want to say friends but not have a relationship!
A year on from the confession and everything is fab! I always make sure to set aside one night of the week for 'date night'. And I make sure to treat "us" with nights away etc. I don't spoil him with gifts all the time, I also don't flash the cash or make him feel like he's on a shit wage compared to him.
But I also don't spend too much time setting "rules" about how I should be or what I talk about. Work is work and if he doesn't like it, he has the choice of walking. I don't think anyway should fall into the rut of "oh well he lets me work so I shouldn't do this or I should do that"
He has told me though that if I'd have told him before he was madly in love with me, he would have ran a mile!
I think it's possible to have relationships while working but it does take a certain type of person and it's all about having good judgment on who you tell. Or when you tell them!
My boyfriend knows everything now but when I first told him I didn't tell him my work name or where I advertised so that's always something you could keep private if you were worried they might out you later down the line... it's harder for them to prove. But on the other hand, trust is a key part of a relationship and so is honesty.
Never rule a relationship out because honestly I never thought I'd be in this situation but I am and it's bloody great! Having my cake and eating it. I have to remind myself how lucky I am sometimes haha.
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I take it it wasn't your work that split you up in the end then. I think some relationships start out okay before jealously rears it's head.
Yes, it was unrelated! But definitely had experience afterwards with guys seeming fine to begin with and then problems starting to emerge. I guess with arguments as well it's an easy cheap blow when you want to upset someone or make them seem small.
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I'm in a similar boat to Megan. Although I had been escorting about 6 months when I meant my current boyfriend. I didn't tell him at the start because to be honest I wasn't looking for such commitment. Anyway, months went by and we got along great and I couldn't fault him. I was escorting behind his back and everything started feeling weird for me. So I ended it thinking that was the only way as I couldn't risk telling him. He chased me and tried so hard bless him, and of course he just couldn't understand why I'd walk away from what he thought was a perfect relationship.
We went camping and he kept asking me why, saying he knew there was something I wasn't telling him etc.... then he just blurted it out "are you a call girl?" I was like FUCKKKKKKKKK! But that was when I just decided to confess. It was hard and he was upset but overall he took it very well, respected my honesty and told me we'd get through it. I remember I just couldn't believe it! I could still be a whore and have a decent man? I thought he'd probably want to say friends but not have a relationship!
A year on from the confession and everything is fab! I always make sure to set aside one night of the week for 'date night'. And I make sure to treat "us" with nights away etc. I don't spoil him with gifts all the time, I also don't flash the cash or make him feel like he's on a shit wage compared to him.
But I also don't spend too much time setting "rules" about how I should be or what I talk about. Work is work and if he doesn't like it, he has the choice of walking. I don't think anyway should fall into the rut of "oh well he lets me work so I shouldn't do this or I should do that"
He has told me though that if I'd have told him before he was madly in love with me, he would have ran a mile!
I think it's possible to have relationships while working but it does take a certain type of person and it's all about having good judgment on who you tell. Or when you tell them!
My boyfriend knows everything now but when I first told him I didn't tell him my work name or where I advertised so that's always something you could keep private if you were worried they might out you later down the line... it's harder for them to prove. But on the other hand, trust is a key part of a relationship and so is honesty.
Never rule a relationship out because honestly I never thought I'd be in this situation but I am and it's bloody great! Having my cake and eating it. I have to remind myself how lucky I am sometimes haha.
Some guys are just wonderful ;D
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...Never rule a relationship out because honestly I never thought I'd be in this situation but I am and it's bloody great! Having my cake and eating it. I have to remind myself how lucky I am sometimes...
+1
I had totally given up on the idea that it was even possible to find an adorable, adoring husband AND still be an escort but it appears that this unique breed are out there & I too have snagged a one good enough to marry. ;D
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I had totally given up on the idea that it was even possible to find an adorable, adoring husband AND still be an escort but it appears that this unique breed are out there & I too have snagged a one good enough to marry. ;D
x2. Same for me.
But nevertheless I think this is difficult.
I would be curious to know some serious statistics on the rate of stable relationships for sex workers and compare them with those of civvie women in the same age group. I do not know if such studies exist but if so, I would be curious to read them.
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The hardest thing for me with my newest boyfriend is maintaining enough of a sex drive for work!
We're at the 3 week still infatuated, spending every spare minute together stage and neither of us quite have the willpower to just snuggle lol
Since getting together with him my productivity has dropped by about 70% on average but some days I've gone from earning ?200-?300 to ?0
x
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The hardest thing for me with my newest boyfriend is maintaining enough of a sex drive for work!
We're at the 3 week still infatuated, spending every spare minute together stage and neither of us quite have the willpower to just snuggle lol
Since getting together with him my productivity has dropped by about 70% on average but some days I've gone from earning ?200-?300 to ?0
x
I know how you feel. I was dating a client I met 4 and a half years ago. He moved in ten weeks ago and I just cannot keep my hands off him and vice versa which is resulting in me doing less work. He knows what I do and is happy for me to continue as he know it means nothing other than me paying my bills and we find it very spicy talking about work. The main thing is though, we are both happy together and he has even helped out on a couple of jobs. Things for me are actually very good, so ladies, buy a hat for the wedding as this man is a keeper :-*
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When I was in my early to mid 20s I couldn't separate work sex from 'real' sex and I didn't so much as want a kiss anyway from my then boyfriend but now that I've been working for 12 years and I'm in my mid 30s then my sex drive is higher and I so can separate the sex. My last boyfriend and I split up for a variety of reasons and one of them was my work, he said he felt his testosterone leaving him every time I left the house for work (worked in a sauna back then) and he stopped showering and brushing his teeth for weeks and blamed it on me for working and every time we fell out I got called a 'despicable whore' (beats plain old 'whore') so it was never going to work, I have noticed that I get bored of men once the initial lust feelings are gone, 3 & a half years is my longest relationship and I've had 3 of them.
Men can't win with me because if they aren't okay with my job then I go crazy and accuse them of being controlling but if they are okay with it then I think that he must be sleeping with other people and it annoys me that they aren't jealous! I know I know! 🤔🤔 I have now come to the conclusion that I shouldn't get involved with men in my personal life because it screws me up! Although I do believe in love & monogamy and some of you are probably choking on your Horlicks reading that but I just love love and the butterflies when you know you are going to meet up with them! I also do believe that not ALL men are unfaithful and again its another choking on your Horlicks moment but its so depressing to think that there's no point whatsoever in getting involved with a guy because he'll just cheat anyway, who wants to think like this? Not me.
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I have been married for 9 years now had kids and three years ago I started escorting. Before that we have been swinging abd it was some of the guys I met this way who suggested I escort. So I started posting ads on sugarbaby websites and now I have an income.
With my husband I agreed to full disclosure. He can open my phone and emails, gets aroused when reading them. He makes good money and still gives me an allowance and pays all bills. He just wants me to swing with him once in a while and he wants to have sex 4-5 times a week. He hated it when once I told him I had worked a lot that day and was very tired, just couldn't take it. He also books escorts and has sex with them openly at home when I'm present. Apart for that, we are just fine and stable.
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I have been married for 9 years now had kids and three years ago I started escorting. Before that we have been swinging abd it was some of the guys I met this way who suggested I escort. So I started posting ads on sugarbaby websites and now I have an income.
With my husband I agreed to full disclosure. He can open my phone and emails, gets aroused when reading them. He makes good money and still gives me an allowance and pays all bills. He just wants me to swing with him once in a while and he wants to have sex 4-5 times a week. He hated it when once I told him I had worked a lot that day and was very tired, just couldn't take it. He also books escorts and has sex with them openly at home when I'm present. Apart for that, we are just fine and stable.
Wow, that's amazing!! Well done for making it work :)
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An old friend has got back in touch he used to make a big fuss about the job that was why it didn't work among many other reasons anyway he says he is fine with it now. Deep down I really don't think he is and it will reappear as an issue later but I am making the most of it. We have always been on and off anyway for other reasons and it would be nice to have a friend to go out with over the summer!
I still don't think we will work out as always but you never know.
People can mellow I guess but I do have my doubts about him being ok about it.
I think the men who are ok about it are ok from the off but I may be wrong. Miracles can happen maybe.
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When I was in my early to mid 20s I couldn't separate work sex from 'real' sex and I didn't so much as want a kiss anyway from my then boyfriend but now that I've been working for 12 years and I'm in my mid 30s then my sex drive is higher and I so can separate the sex. My last boyfriend and I split up for a variety of reasons and one of them was my work, he said he felt his testosterone leaving him every time I left the house for work (worked in a sauna back then) and he stopped showering and brushing his teeth for weeks and blamed it on me for working and every time we fell out I got called a 'despicable whore' (beats plain old 'whore') so it was never going to work, I have noticed that I get bored of men once the initial lust feelings are gone, 3 & a half years is my longest relationship and I've had 3 of them.
Men can't win with me because if they aren't okay with my job then I go crazy and accuse them of being controlling but if they are okay with it then I think that he must be sleeping with other people and it annoys me that they aren't jealous! I know I know! 🤔🤔 I have now come to the conclusion that I shouldn't get involved with men in my personal life because it screws me up! Although I do believe in love & monogamy and some of you are probably choking on your Horlicks reading that but I just love love and the butterflies when you know you are going to meet up with them! I also do believe that not ALL men are unfaithful and again its another choking on your Horlicks moment but its so depressing to think that there's no point whatsoever in getting involved with a guy because he'll just cheat anyway, who wants to think like this? Not me.
This is why I don't tell them about escorting, if it is a client no way. They want free sex then get bored of you. I used to question if one was okay with me escorting. On the straight and narrow is the right time for a partnering up.
I can't be asked with thier bollocks.
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This is why I don't tell them about escorting, if it is a client no way. They want free sex then get bored of you. I used to question if one was okay with me escorting. On the straight and narrow is the right time for a partnering up.
I can't be asked with thier bollocks.
I couldn't lie to him as we lived together, sometimes I do find that when I have strong feelings for a civvy man then I can't stay away from him but unfortunately I also need to earn a living, pay my bills etc etc and at that time I was paying rent for my house yet always at his so it was a waste and I moved out of mine and gave up my place, risky yes, foolish yes but sometimes my heart overrules my head! I am a romantic person btw and I still believe in love and lust! Lol xx
However, I have now decided to not tell another guy about my work, after all you are allowed some privacy in life!
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+1
I had totally given up on the idea that it was even possible to find an adorable, adoring husband AND still be an escort but it appears that this unique breed are out there & I too have snagged a one good enough to marry. ;D
+1 also mine is definitely too tight pay , but doesn't mean he won't stray , I'm a poet and didn't know it ! ;D
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I learned the hard way about relationships and escorting.
I escorted years ago and was making a killing. Paid off any debt, started saving, was on the road to buying my first house etc. Then I met a man and fell in love. I never told him about my job, quit escorting, moved in together, had a baby, used all my savings, got into debt, the relationship fell apart and now I am back at square one; the same point I was at before I started escorting in the first place. And now with a baby.
I ended up telling him about escorting and urged him to be alright with it to get us on a good financial path. He wasn't ok with it. In the end, I chose financial security over the relationship that was now in ashes.
Moral of the story; it would take SOME guy to make me give up escorting now. If I could find that unicorn who would respect why I do it and allow me to, then amazing. But I think these are rare. I know of too many stories where the guy knew and totally tapped into the girl's earnings.
For me, right now I am not interested in relationships. I want to create a great financially stable future for me and my family before considering letting someone else in.
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Coming to the last phase of escorting, my bf has been tough at times. Mainly due to how I earn money. Most guys will never be for escorts sexing up other guys while they are living a civy life.
Always keep being independent, I let him know now. Finally he is moving his bum.
My earnings have increased finally. :)
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I couldn't lie to him as we lived together, sometimes I do find that when I have strong feelings for a civvy man then I can't stay away from him but unfortunately I also need to earn a living, pay my bills etc etc and at that time I was paying rent for my house yet always at his so it was a waste and I moved out of mine and gave up my place, risky yes, foolish yes but sometimes my heart overrules my head! I am a romantic person btw and I still believe in love and lust! Lol xx
However, I have now decided to not tell another guy about my work, after all you are allowed some privacy in life!
I went from being honest about escorting to not be as the guys would freak out. I told him a week in to as thought if he walked it wouldn't bother me. Xx
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I have been escorting for about 8 years ago. A client showed up for an hour booking 2 and a half years ago and ive been seeing him ever since. Hes married, and said from the start he would never leave his wife, which has always been fine by me. But....it has been a constant battle between him and me because as time went on, and the feelings grew, he now hates me doing the escorting and keeps on and on to me to give it up...... I gave him options...
1......leave your wife and be with me
2.... support me financially(he can afford to) and i will give up the job
3 accept what I do without complaint.
well i wont go on,cos it would bore u to tears but I really have had enough and ended it once and for all last week. I suppose i do love the man (whatever love is)and i do believe he loves me in his own way, but talk is cheap...actions speak louder than words. He was becoming controlling, sarcastic, disbelieving me when Id tell him id only had one punter...he,d be convinced it was more. Basically its ok for him to have had his cake and eat it but hes still giving me a hard time and Ive had enough of it. Never again will I get involved with a man unless its work related....I told loverboy I was a very happy hoe before I met him !
Love Abi x
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I have been escorting for about 8 years ago. A client showed up for an hour booking 2 and a half years ago and ive been seeing him ever since. Hes married, and said from the start he would never leave his wife, which has always been fine by me. But....it has been a constant battle between him and me because as time went on, and the feelings grew, he now hates me doing the escorting and keeps on and on to me to give it up...... I gave him options...
Abi
He told you he would never leave his wife. To me, this says a lot already. He has built his life with her and he's not giving it up. Give up escorting? wow. it's all about this man screaming "me, me, me, me!" If I were you, cut him off and let him go fu*k himself. A relationship is about sharing something positive. Once it gets so negative, time to cut all contact. Feelings will fade soon enough as you distance yourself from this toxic relationship.
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It will not be a problem for a bloke if he works in the adult industry himself, e.g. porn or photography work.
Just mentioning that is all. No interest in acquiring a bloke myself at this stage in my life but pornmakers and photographers generally won't object.
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Sweetmilf, u are so right. I have cut contact since Monday and do feel better for it already. Xx
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Sweetmilf, u are so right. I have cut contact since Monday and do feel better for it already. Xx
I didn't want to say (in case it may offend), but I felt I had to. You deserve more. xx :)
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A guy I broke up about a year ago with and was pining over (he kept saying it was over and there was no way back) found out I was 'dating' through mutual friends (left out the part where it's usually just for the hour and I get paid for it, saying I'm dating gives me a better excuse for work). I gave up work for him when we first met and never knew about it. He was generally quite controlling and put me down quite a bit, when we broke it off I was a shell of the person I once was.
He revealed to me he was thinking about getting back with me and he loves me but just wishes I was different.
I thought about it for a while and then my hooker senses kicked in and realised it was a mind fuck and he was just a time waster.
There was no better satisfaction than telling him to royally go and do one. :D
I think dating while being a sex worker is about your own perspective, if you can handle it, choose the right person and you are strong enough to deal with both then go for it. Don't leave yourself vulnerable or get persuaded to quit if you don't want to or you'll hate them more for it.
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A guy I broke up about a year ago with and was pining over (he kept saying it was over and there was no way back) found out I was 'dating' through mutual friends (left out the part where it's usually just for the hour and I get paid for it, saying I'm dating gives me a better excuse for work). I gave up work for him when we first met and never knew about it. He was generally quite controlling and put me down quite a bit, when we broke it off I was a shell of the person I once was.
He revealed to me he was thinking about getting back with me and he loves me but just wishes I was different.
I thought about it for a while and then my hooker senses kicked in and realised it was a mind fuck and he was just a time waster.
I agree. There is no point. He should just get a dog to keep him happy. :)
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It sure has been a juggling act, that is finding time for him while escorting. Missing shit loads of bookings over the past three months due to finishing early 7-8pm.
Him always wanting to spend time with me like he tells me he is mine all weekend. Holy smokes.... I still need to earn I won't be on Saturday.
I try to dedicate Sundays to him but can't always if had a slow week. Then he gets the hump like a spoilt brat. I need to text him all the time I love him or he gets the hump. Older guys get grumpy from a different era. I need mental space.
He stresses me out alot even when I am at a stressful time of escorting ie looking for civy work, going for interviews.
I am more escorting focused he doesn't understand I need to earn still. He can help me if he wanted but won't. Simple stop ass complaining.
Tired from escorting physically and mentally draining some times.
If I don't send him a morning photo every day he gets moody with me. There are times I text him like a robot because he expects that.
On top of that he is going through a divorce moaning to me all the time about it. Always bringing up the past I tolerate it until he says some thing that fumes me.
Just needed to get some thoughts on this please.
He was a saint perfect at the beginning.
If single keep building up your life achieving, before some guy starts with his narcissistic moves.
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It sure has been a juggling act, that is finding time for him while escorting. Missing shit loads of bookings over the past three months due to finishing early 7-8pm.
Him always wanting to spend time with me like he tells me he is mine all weekend. Holy smokes.... I still need to earn I won't be on Saturday.
I try to dedicate Sundays to him but can't always if had a slow week. Then he gets the hump like a spoilt brat. I need to text him all the time I love him or he gets the hump. Older guys get grumpy from a different era. I need mental space.
He stresses me out alot even when I am at a stressful time of escorting ie looking for civy work, going for interviews.
I am more escorting focused he doesn't understand I need to earn still. He can help me if he wanted but won't. Simple stop ass complaining.
Tired from escorting physically and mentally draining some times.
If I don't send him a morning photo every day he gets moody with me. There are times I text him like a robot because he expects that.
On top of that he is going through a divorce moaning to me all the time about it. Always bringing up the past I tolerate it until he says some thing that fumes me.
Just needed to get some thoughts on this please.
He was a saint perfect at the beginning.
If single keep building up your life achieving, before some guy starts with his narcissistic moves.
Sounds to me like he's only thinking of himself. My boyfriend can be like this but I keep him at arms length.
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Like waking me up at 4.45am by rubbing my feet is okay in his book, no it fucking is not. It ruins my day if tired at least wait until 7am. I asked him politely he reacted like I offended him so should have said fuck this and that getting the same reaction.
On top of that he tells me how much he loves me and wants me to live with him to marry. Jesus I thought I had problems.
Rant over.....
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Sounds to me like he's only thinking of himself. My boyfriend can be like this but I keep him at arms length.
I am thinking to do the same but then he comes out with boo hoo don't you want me.
I do have feelings for him still just needing space.
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It sure has been a juggling act, that is finding time for him while escorting. Missing shit loads of bookings over the past three months due to finishing early 7-8pm.
Him always wanting to spend time with me like he tells me he is mine all weekend. Holy smokes.... I still need to earn I won't be on Saturday.
I try to dedicate Sundays to him but can't always if had a slow week. Then he gets the hump like a spoilt brat. I need to text him all the time I love him or he gets the hump. Older guys get grumpy from a different era. I need mental space.
He stresses me out alot even when I am at a stressful time of escorting ie looking for civy work, going for interviews.
I am more escorting focused he doesn't understand I need to earn still. He can help me if he wanted but won't. Simple stop ass complaining.
Tired from escorting physically and mentally draining some times.
If I don't send him a morning photo every day he gets moody with me. There are times I text him like a robot because he expects that.
On top of that he is going through a divorce moaning to me all the time about it. Always bringing up the past I tolerate it until he says some thing that fumes me.
Just needed to get some thoughts on this please.
He was a saint perfect at the beginning.
If single keep building up your life achieving, before some guy starts with his narcissistic moves.
After a 19 year relationship and then a 10 year marriage now being single is bliss, I know I have made the right decision for me to not have a man in my life first 6 months are lovely but then reality sets in and ruins it..
Now I'm all about Independence, peace, quiet, having company when I want, shutting the door on the world when I want, freedom to work when I want, to stop when I want, no man demanding my time and energy, no insecure egos to massage, nobody to consider but myself, I could go on about the benefits of not having a man in my life because all I know is this single life is paradise and I love it.
Going forward if/when I retire I'd sooner get a puppy as they're much less demanding. ;D
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I have met online a guy who wishes me to do photo work for him and it is highly lucrative. So I am meeting him next week.
On top of that he is looking for a girlfriend and would like an assistant.
I am in no rush to acquire a boyfriend so not sure how it will pan out.
Relationships are a hassle really. He would prefer me to give up escorting later.
Not sure what to do.
Anyway will have to see lol.
I think I would struggle to be monogamous like that these days!!
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It sure has been a juggling act, that is finding time for him while escorting. Missing shit loads of bookings over the past three months due to finishing early 7-8pm.
Him always wanting to spend time with me like he tells me he is mine all weekend. Holy smokes.... I still need to earn I won't be on Saturday.
I try to dedicate Sundays to him but can't always if had a slow week. Then he gets the hump like a spoilt brat. I need to text him all the time I love him or he gets the hump. Older guys get grumpy from a different era. I need mental space.
He stresses me out alot even when I am at a stressful time of escorting ie looking for civy work, going for interviews.
I am more escorting focused he doesn't understand I need to earn still. He can help me if he wanted but won't. Simple stop ass complaining.
Tired from escorting physically and mentally draining some times.
If I don't send him a morning photo every day he gets moody with me. There are times I text him like a robot because he expects that.
On top of that he is going through a divorce moaning to me all the time about it. Always bringing up the past I tolerate it until he says some thing that fumes me.
Just needed to get some thoughts on this please.
He was a saint perfect at the beginning.
If single keep building up your life achieving, before some guy starts with his narcissistic moves.
MD, the things you have noted are real red flags for me.
Wants a photo every morning or he gets moody? LOL, do one mate.
He sounds controlling. I think if you get with him long term he will hold your past sex work history over your head and shame you with it.
They're all perfect at the beginning! Because when you meet someone, they're out to impress you. You're on your best behaviour. A few months in, the mask starts to slip. This is the time when red flags appear. Heed them.
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MD, the things you have noted are real red flags for me.
Wants a photo every morning or he gets moody? LOL, do one mate.
He sounds controlling. I think if you get with him long term he will hold your past sex work history over your head and shame you with it.
They're all perfect at the beginning! Because when you meet someone, they're out to impress you. You're on your best behaviour. A few months in, the mask starts to slip. This is the time when red flags appear. Heed them.
Most of them are perfect in the beginning lol
He sounds like a stroppy toddler & def not a decent boyfriend and certainly not one worth giving up work for . His actions appear to be very very controlling and abusive even .
And sending photos every day ffs has he got such a crap memory he can't remember what you look like 24 hours ago
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It sure has been a juggling act, that is finding time for him while escorting. Missing shit loads of bookings over the past three months due to finishing early 7-8pm.
Him always wanting to spend time with me like he tells me he is mine all weekend. Holy smokes.... I still need to earn I won't be on Saturday.
I try to dedicate Sundays to him but can't always if had a slow week. Then he gets the hump like a spoilt brat. I need to text him all the time I love him or he gets the hump. Older guys get grumpy from a different era. I need mental space.
He stresses me out alot even when I am at a stressful time of escorting ie looking for civy work, going for interviews.
I am more escorting focused he doesn't understand I need to earn still. He can help me if he wanted but won't. Simple stop ass complaining.
Tired from escorting physically and mentally draining some times.
If I don't send him a morning photo every day he gets moody with me. There are times I text him like a robot because he expects that.
On top of that he is going through a divorce moaning to me all the time about it. Always bringing up the past I tolerate it until he says some thing that fumes me.
Just needed to get some thoughts on this please.
He was a saint perfect at the beginning.
If single keep building up your life achieving, before some guy starts with his narcissistic moves.
He's going through a hellish divorce and he's telling you he wants to marry you? A mentally sane person going through a bad divorce runs in the opposite direction when hearing the word "marriage". I'm seeing big alarm bells ringing here (sorry),
After reading your post I hope the advantages of this relantionship (he supportive, he's great in bed, rich, generous, makes you feel great etc...) "outweigh" the disadvantages exposed otherwise I'm not seeing you signing for a good deal at all.
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He's going through a hellish divorce and he's telling you he wants to marry you? A mentally sane person going through a bad divorce runs in the opposite direction when hearing the word "marriage". I'm seeing big alarm bells ringing here (sorry),
He's probably madly infatuated with her. An old man and a pretty lady of 20 years younger scenario. Who could refuse such a dream relationship after living with an old wife of god know how many years he had to shag when the light was off, to be blunt? Old men love younger women, just like some women love "toy boys". In civvie life, I have to keep listening to men, telling me how so "proud" of their much younger wife by 10 or 15 years that they scored. But I often notice their "wonderful wives" are treating them quite badly, but they all seem to think they really scored big.
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He's probably madly infatuated with her.
Probably, but he sounds a bit like a nightmare and she doesn't sound happy at all.
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With respect MD, he sounds like a clingy, needy, jealous child who throws a tantrum when he can't get his own way. His 'caring' ways so to speak, sound like an ulterior motive based on his assessment of HIS needs and HIS requirements, etc. and not yours. Why on earth would you continue to wake someone up so ridiculously early in the morning knowing that they're not an early morning person and tired. That's just plain selfish. (I suspect he's bored and/or horny and can't be bothered to wait for you to wake up and wants his needs fulfilled there and then rather than being caring and thoughtful and waiting for a more mutually convenient time). I have to say that I agree with VC and Paris' assessment of things. If this man is this controlling and temperamental now, I think you will be opening a huge can of worms in the future. In my humble opinion, if he is not lining your pockets and taking care of your immediate needs, then who the hell is he to dictate to you how you should earn a living and actually attempt to hijack those efforts by demanding to see you at your busy times or when you need to work at the weekend because business is slow. Would he do that to you if you had a 'normal' job and needed to work overtime or at weekends to pay your bills/mortgage.
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It sure has been a juggling act, that is finding time for him while escorting. Missing shit loads of bookings over the past three months due to finishing early 7-8pm.
Him always wanting to spend time with me like he tells me he is mine all weekend. Holy smokes.... I still need to earn I won't be on Saturday.
I try to dedicate Sundays to him but can't always if had a slow week. Then he gets the hump like a spoilt brat. I need to text him all the time I love him or he gets the hump. Older guys get grumpy from a different era. I need mental space.
He stresses me out alot even when I am at a stressful time of escorting ie looking for civy work, going for interviews.
I am more escorting focused he doesn't understand I need to earn still. He can help me if he wanted but won't. Simple stop ass complaining.
Tired from escorting physically and mentally draining some times.
If I don't send him a morning photo every day he gets moody with me. There are times I text him like a robot because he expects that.
On top of that he is going through a divorce moaning to me all the time about it. Always bringing up the past I tolerate it until he says some thing that fumes me.
Just needed to get some thoughts on this please.
He was a saint perfect at the beginning.
If single keep building up your life achieving, before some guy starts with his narcissistic moves.
I have been here before. As has been pointed out by a few of the ladies before me, there are red flags waving here. I wish I paid attention to the red flags in my case, but experience has taught me a lot. For example needing a text all the time to say you love him/ a morning pic every day?? you end up texting him just to fulfil his neediness because if you don't then it will be a fight later on. You are in a situation where the power balance is not 50/50 (as should be IMO)
Think about it, if you were not an escort, would you be in a relationship with someone who made all the above demands of you and your time?
With respect MD, he sounds like a clingy, needy, jealous child who throws a tantrum when he can't get his own way. His 'caring' ways so to speak, sound like an ulterior motive based on his assessment of HIS needs and HIS requirements, etc. and not yours. Why on earth would you continue to wake someone up so ridiculously early in the morning knowing that they're not an early morning person and tired. That's just plain selfish. (I suspect he's bored and/or horny and can't be bothered to wait for you to wake up and wants his needs fulfilled there and then rather than being caring and thoughtful and waiting for a more mutually convenient time). I have to say that I agree with VC and Paris' assessment of things. If this man is this controlling and temperamental now, I think you will be opening a huge can of worms in the future. In my humble opinion, if he is not lining your pockets and taking care of your immediate needs, then who the hell is he to dictate to you how you should earn a living and actually attempt to hijack those efforts by demanding to see you at your busy times or when you need to work at the weekend because business is slow. Would he do that to you if you had a 'normal' job and needed to work overtime or at weekends to pay your bills/mortgage.
Mariah/ VC and Paris sum up my thoughts. Pay heed to the little clues he is giving you at the moment- pay attention to the flags. Take control of the situation or just a time out to step back and re-evaluate things.
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If at any point, you decide to call it a day (and before you actually finish with him); I would try and access his phone and computer and make sure that any compromising pictures of you are deleted. Do not ask him to do this, YOU must do this. He reminds me very much of a spiteful ex who would always and persistently ask me for dirty pics which I never sent (I downloaded pics off the net which I edited and sent to him, lol). I always had a sneaky feeling about his motives for the pictures because when we were not getting on so well, he was still asking for them with a face shot (he had facial shots of me but not in a sexual way). Long story short; maybe a year or so after we split, I heard from someone that he had been maliciously showing and sharing pics of some young women he'd had a fling and who had dumped him. He too, was very clingy and demanding of me and my time. Due to the fact that your b/f has lots of pics of you and I imagine some might be compromising, I would tread carefully and try to recover or delete those images if possible. In the meantime, ask him for a compromising picture of him in case he decides to get funny at any point in the future. I'm sure some of these guys want pics of women as a form of 'insurance' and a way to control you when things are not going their way.
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If someone asked for a photo of me every single morning, it would be of that day's bowel movement.
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I wouldn't be too happy with a guy who was disturbing my sleep either.
I need my seven hours minimum. Winter sometimes eight.
Oh dear I am such an old lady!
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Thank you everyone.
I am on the verge of splitting up with him now. He tells me about he loves me and don't want to part. Oh yes I forgot to mention it has taken him two months and still hasn't completed tidying his apartment. So I can come round, even offered to help him.
This says it all unless he has some one else.
Now it is on my terms. :)
I told him I am stressed enough as it is with trying to leave escorting.
He is a spoilt brat throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his own way. I told him I care about him lots but my love for him was. And still he says can we save. I said if you love me walk away, he replied with his not walking away.
He still wants to see me tonight, he says what is the point.
Crikes a Stubborn Narc he is.
Glad I have therapy in a hour.
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Thank you everyone.
I am on the verge of splitting up with him now. He tells me about he loves me and don't want to part. Oh yes I forgot to mention it has taken him two months and still hasn't completed tidying his apartment. So I can come round, even offered to help him.
This says it all unless he has some one else.
Now it is on my terms. :)
I told him I am stressed enough as it is with trying to leave escorting.
He is a spoilt brat throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his own way. I told him I care about him lots but my love for him was. And still he says can we save. I said if you love me walk away, he replied with his not walking away.
He still wants to see me tonight, he says what is the point.
Crikes a Stubborn Narc he is.
Glad I have therapy in a hour.
Words are cheap if he was serious he would have done what he needed to do in his flat within a week, what 'tidying' does he need to do that takes over 2 months? Have you even been to his flat? If not I'd be doubly suspicious. In my experience some men use the word love as a means of control to get what they want and to hold onto a relationship its a way to 'soften you up' but its all bollocks with these types its either a need or a use. He is showing many forms of control that's not love. Sweet words are 10 a penny and actions speak louder than words.
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Most of them are perfect in the beginning lol
He sounds like a stroppy toddler & def not a decent boyfriend and certainly not one worth giving up work for . His actions appear to be very very controlling and abusive even .
And sending photos every day ffs has he got such a crap memory he can't remember what you look like 24 hours ago
I know some sort of attachment issue think he has.
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He's going through a hellish divorce and he's telling you he wants to marry you? A mentally sane person going through a bad divorce runs in the opposite direction when hearing the word "marriage". I'm seeing big alarm bells ringing here (sorry),
After reading your post I hope the advantages of this relantionship (he supportive, he's great in bed, rich, generous, makes you feel great etc...) "outweigh" the disadvantages exposed otherwise I'm not seeing you signing for a good deal at all.
He is kind and tight with money, we arn't having sex. I'm going to be writing a rule list after job hunting. :)
Feeling like a client only been fingered twice in three months omg. I asked for it too. I'm glad to be escorting really. Try and beat that lol.
Yep he has agreed to abide by my rule list at last.
No one messes with me.
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He is kind and tight with money,
Does he have children from his previous long-term marriage? If he was married for many years, he's obligated to support his soon-to-be ex-wife and children which may explain why he could be tight, money-wise. Even with someone, who has a high-paying salary, he would be paying a lot of tax for it. Could he support you after you retire and marry him? Honeymoon period never lasts as you know. Sooner or later, his crazy attention will diminish as the relationship matures. Hope it works out. :)
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He doesn't have any Children currently. Things are slowly improving, what took two months he says he will be finished cleaning his Apartment by tomorrow.:) Then we can move on in the relationship finally.
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He is kind and tight with money, we arn't having sex. I'm going to be writing a rule list after job hunting. :)
Feeling like a client only been fingered twice in three months omg. I asked for it too. I'm glad to be escorting really. Try and beat that lol.
Yep he has agreed to abide by my rule list at last.
No one messes with me.
Wait.... you're going to move in with a guy who you've never had sex with? :o Hmm.. So basically you're going to have to figure out if you're sexually compatible while living under the same roof.
I strongly reccomend you a well crafted "plan b" if this relationship fails and you need to get out asap of his apartment.
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He doesn't have any Children currently.
OK, that's cool. :)
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OK, that's cool. :)
It should be a quicker divorce proceeding should it?.
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It should be a quicker divorce proceeding should it?.
It depends on if its amicable.
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It should be a quicker divorce proceeding should it?.
How many years was he married? If it's not a long marriage, I should think it would be straightforward.
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How many years was he married? If it's not a long marriage, I should think it would be straightforward.
7 years and 10 years separated, the wife is being complicated. I feel at time the mistress even though that isn't the case.
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10 years separated and still not settled?! Come on MD. Where's your cynical head?
Ask him if it's cool if you phone his wife to check they're separated.
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7 years and 10 years separated, the wife is being complicated.
Relationships can be complicated. Hope it'll work out. :)
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10 years separated and still not settled?! Come on MD. Where's your cynical head?
Ask him if it's cool if you phone his wife to check they're separated.
Absolutely, if they are separated there should be no issues. If he kicks up a fuss or spins a yarn about legal crap or it not being the right time ect. With no real understanding for your need to confirm this then I would be heading for the door. Sometimes using hooker brain is useful in civvy life too but it is really difficult, I've done it and it's not nice but it makes you realise what situation you are in and how you wouldn't stand for it if it was a work situation.
Feels cold having to use a screening process for the people you care about and I know life is more complicated than work (could be argued!) but it gives you another perspective to look from.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we make a stranger go through hoops to convince us they are not a time waster or, dangerous and are suitable to take our time for even just a half an hour I would be doing so much more for someone I want to potentially spend the rest of my life with. Just my opinion of course, we let the little things go but I don't think it's such a crazy idea!
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Absolutely, if they are separated there should be no issues. If he kicks up a fuss or spins a yarn about legal crap or it not being the right time ect. With no real understanding for your need to confirm this then I would be heading for the door. Sometimes using hooker brain is useful in civvy life too but it is really difficult, I've done it and it's not nice but it makes you realise what situation you are in and how you wouldn't stand for it if it was a work situation.
Feels cold having to use a screening process for the people you care about and I know life is more complicated than work (could be argued!) but it gives you another perspective to look from.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we make a stranger go through hoops to convince us they are not a time waster or, dangerous and are suitable to take our time for even just a half an hour I would be doing so much more for someone I want to potentially spend the rest of my life with. Just my opinion of course, we let the little things go but I don't think it's such a crazy idea!
Totally agree, I've got one guy keeps chatting me up every time I go to a certain place. Hes ok and we have good banter but when I was first talking to him I asked about his status he told me he was married so I said I don't date married men he said 'I still live with my wife but she is now a lesbian' trying not to laugh in his face I asked why do you stay? he said for the family, its all bollocks in reality he wants a bit on the side while all the time keeping his cosy family life, but as I sell it I dont give it away I just looked at him like he'd grown two heads and laughed, the shit some men tell you when they want to get into your knickers. He texted me the other day said 'I cant stop thinking about you when can we meet for a cuppa? I replied 'when you invite me over' which stopped that conversation.
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10 years separated and still not settled?! Come on MD. Where's your cynical head?
Ask him if it's cool if you phone his wife to check they're separated.
The above.
Sounds to me like the guy is still married, and if he's not his ex wife has him by the balls and you're about to enter a relationship of 3 people.
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After 5 years separated it is easy to get a divorce without the other party's consent. Prior to that you need their response in divorce proceedings. 10 years separated sounds well fishy.
Although it can be that some parties just don't get around to the divorce as it is all money. They split up but are still married although only on paper it doesn't mean anything. I have a friend like that.
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Can we please keep this sex work focussed? I haven't looked at it for days, but it seems to have wandered off.
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Who would want a relationship after all. Too much hassle. They also do not understand our job. Pointless.
My porn lead guy never materialised they are all talk no do. Fantasists!
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Who would want a relationship after all. Too much hassle. They also do not understand our job. Pointless.
My porn lead guy never materialised they are all talk no do. Fantasists!
Surprise, surprise....
I feel I have my 1 hour and 2 hour boyfriends, that's plenty enough for me.
Decided not to have a relationship whilst escorting, very early on.
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Wish I stuck to my procedure of not crossing the line while escorting. One thing is that things are worse off than before when I was single. Tread with caution, they act all nice in the beginning.
Just back from Therapy, he said this time last year I was yearning for a bf. My reply was well not any more now I know this. After him I am staying single forever.
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I am glad feeling empowered now, no man client or civy walks over me. :)
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I generally don't see a huge problem in having relationships while escorting. But I'm also living a quite special lifestyle, most of my friends are from the pro-sex, kinky, poly-sexual, BDSM, sexworker community and I never tried to have a monogamous relationship in my life. Although even if I'm polyamorous its important for me that my partners understand that my work is my work, I fuck people at my work but its never the same as when I fuck lovers in my private life.
However, even with all this openness in sexuality and liberal standards I just had an experience which I would never have seen coming but looking back, it's maybe not that big of a shocker what happened.
I just broke up with my boyfriend, we were friends, then lovers then in a couple and he knew from the beginning about my job. He was very positive about me being an escort, his a political activist, supporting feminism and all that stuff. In the beginning, I was super happy about his attitude towards my work, I also felt like that he understood that the sex I had with other people than him as a private person was personal and the sex I had with clients was work. So my dates privately was a mutual decision, something we could discuss and work with together if jealousy occurred and stuff, my work was unnegotiable from the beginning.
I felt like he understood that, I felt so lucky to have a man supporting my work as much as he did -I'm bisexual and I always felt that there was more friction w jealousy when I've been with men than with women.
But he got more and more involved concerning my job, he was always discussing sex work with all his friends, telling about me and how important he thinks my fight is -I'm a feminist, activist and hundred percent out of the closet, I use a lot of time on political work concerning feminism and sex work, besides the fucking which I also regard as feminist.
He was super interested in everything about my work, always asking me about, always talking about, sharing links about it on his facebook. He started to become more and more suggestive, to question my choices about my fees and my marketing, in a way that by the first look it seemed supporting because yeah he was a feminist as well and an alley in my fight for sexual liberation.
In the end, I felt like my work was present in most of the time and conversations we shared, and I got fed up trying to explain a guy that knew nothing about sex work really, why I took this and that professional choice. He started to become so involved, so many questions, suggestions, and opinions about my choices. I felt like I suddenly was running a business with a partner, and Im independent of a really good reason, if I ever would dream of sharing my business with somebody it would have to be with another fierce sex worker (which is impossible because of the laws where I live but that's another discussion)
His overly energetic advocating for my work and for fight started to seem possessive to me, I felt trapped by his interest in my work and fucking bored by having to use that much of my offtime discussing my job. But I was also confused because you know, he was supportive, he was pro sex work, he never told me not to do it, actually he seemed like he was clapping his hands because I was doing it.
In the end it became too much for me and I told him he had to back down and let me do my work independently like I have been doing for three years now, also because I didn't wanted to be his sex worker girlfriend, I wanted to be his girlfriend and have time off when I saw him. He didn't really get the message and I broke up with him last week, not only because of this, there were other arbitrary things too.
Today I am looking back at it and I feel ambivalent. My intuition really told me that his behavior was possessive, that his exaggerated interest in my job was a way for him to deal with it, a way to keep having some kind of control in the situation. I am ambivalent because everything that happened was served as being support for me. But in the end, it felt more like control than support. But criticizing it makes me feel like I'm an ungrateful bitch, at least he never talked bad about my job, actually only positive and maybe I'm just spoiled for not giving him this room to deal with it in his way (dealing with it = talking about it all the time) But I just really felt like this was yet another man I met who tried to control me. I hate this feeling of not being able to allow myself to trust my intuition totally, but breaking up was definitely the right thing to do, that I know.
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Surprise, surprise....
I feel I have my 1 hour and 2 hour boyfriends, that's plenty enough for me.
Decided not to have a relationship whilst escorting, very early on.
+1
This is exactly what I tell guys who book me and want to be more than just a booking!
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But I just really felt like this was yet another man I met who tried to control me.
Funnily enough the first thing that popped into my head as I read the first lines of your post was "controlling". You've definitely dodged a bullet.
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I generally don't see a huge problem in having relationships while escorting. But I'm also living a quite special lifestyle, most of my friends are from the pro-sex, kinky, poly-sexual, BDSM, sexworker community and I never tried to have a monogamous relationship in my life. Although even if I'm polyamorous its important for me that my partners understand that my work is my work, I fuck people at my work but its never the same as when I fuck lovers in my private life.
However, even with all this openness in sexuality and liberal standards I just had an experience which I would never have seen coming but looking back, it's maybe not that big of a shocker what happened.
I just broke up with my boyfriend, we were friends, then lovers then in a couple and he knew from the beginning about my job. He was very positive about me being an escort, his a political activist, supporting feminism and all that stuff. In the beginning, I was super happy about his attitude towards my work, I also felt like that he understood that the sex I had with other people than him as a private person was personal and the sex I had with clients was work. So my dates privately was a mutual decision, something we could discuss and work with together if jealousy occurred and stuff, my work was unnegotiable from the beginning.
I felt like he understood that, I felt so lucky to have a man supporting my work as much as he did -I'm bisexual and I always felt that there was more friction w jealousy when I've been with men than with women.
But he got more and more involved concerning my job, he was always discussing sex work with all his friends, telling about me and how important he thinks my fight is -I'm a feminist, activist and hundred percent out of the closet, I use a lot of time on political work concerning feminism and sex work, besides the fucking which I also regard as feminist.
He was super interested in everything about my work, always asking me about, always talking about, sharing links about it on his facebook. He started to become more and more suggestive, to question my choices about my fees and my marketing, in a way that by the first look it seemed supporting because yeah he was a feminist as well and an alley in my fight for sexual liberation.
In the end, I felt like my work was present in most of the time and conversations we shared, and I got fed up trying to explain a guy that knew nothing about sex work really, why I took this and that professional choice. He started to become so involved, so many questions, suggestions, and opinions about my choices. I felt like I suddenly was running a business with a partner, and Im independent of a really good reason, if I ever would dream of sharing my business with somebody it would have to be with another fierce sex worker (which is impossible because of the laws where I live but that's another discussion)
His overly energetic advocating for my work and for fight started to seem possessive to me, I felt trapped by his interest in my work and fucking bored by having to use that much of my offtime discussing my job. But I was also confused because you know, he was supportive, he was pro sex work, he never told me not to do it, actually he seemed like he was clapping his hands because I was doing it.
In the end it became too much for me and I told him he had to back down and let me do my work independently like I have been doing for three years now, also because I didn't wanted to be his sex worker girlfriend, I wanted to be his girlfriend and have time off when I saw him. He didn't really get the message and I broke up with him last week, not only because of this, there were other arbitrary things too.
Today I am looking back at it and I feel ambivalent. My intuition really told me that his behavior was possessive, that his exaggerated interest in my job was a way for him to deal with it, a way to keep having some kind of control in the situation. I am ambivalent because everything that happened was served as being support for me. But in the end, it felt more like control than support. But criticizing it makes me feel like I'm an ungrateful bitch, at least he never talked bad about my job, actually only positive and maybe I'm just spoiled for not giving him this room to deal with it in his way (dealing with it = talking about it all the time) But I just really felt like this was yet another man I met who tried to control me. I hate this feeling of not being able to allow myself to trust my intuition totally, but breaking up was definitely the right thing to do, that I know.
Mine was simular we started as friends then became lovers and to my surprise he was very supportive of my escorting.
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Funnily enough the first thing that popped into my head as I read the first lines of your post was "controlling". You've definitely dodged a bullet.
Yeah, I think you're right, haven't regretted it for a moment, mostly just happy I stopped it while it was still new and somehow shallow as a relationship. I'm happy, back at normal life with more time for my other lovers and clients, of course.
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Mine was simular we started as friends then became lovers and to my surprise he was very supportive of my escorting.
I guess that the thing to learn here that support doesn't always mean support but can be coping mechanisms or disguised desire to control... Your situation sound rather complicated, I hope that you will figure everything out, in the end, a relationship should always give you more positive energy than it takes....
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Well, I have a crush on my muscular American accented domino pizza receptionist. He is pretty hot. I think a crush will all it will have to be unless he wants to make me domino pizzas back at mine while just talking to me the whole time ;D
It's really tempting to start a new relationship but I think it reallly does just complicate things. I've also learnt to be alone by choice rather than because I have to be.
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Well, I have a crush on my muscular American accented domino pizza receptionist. He is pretty hot. I think a crush will all it will have to be unless he wants to make me domino pizzas back at mine while just talking to me the whole time ;D
It's really tempting to start a new relationship but I think it reallly does just complicate things. I've also learnt to be alone by choice rather than because I have to be.
There have definitely been occasions when I'd have accepted a pizza as payment for a quickie ;D
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I guess that the thing to learn here that support doesn't always mean support but can be coping mechanisms or disguised desire to control... Your situation sound rather complicated, I hope that you will figure everything out, in the end, a relationship should always give you more positive energy than it takes....
Exactly I am finding my experience with him a positive one because of changes happening now. So in a way it powered me up. I prefer freedom I can think clearer. Xx.
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There have definitely been occasions when I'd have accepted a pizza as payment for a quickie ;D
Might start asking people to bring me lunch for a discounted rate! ;D I always try and get a sandwich from M&S before I start the day if I can.
Recently treated myself to a few things and I think the domino pizza guy would get in the way of my future plans as they may not involve pizza. I think that is also something to be aware of, if both your jobs clash it could be difficult to maintain a steady relationship too.
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Head is spinning at minute trying to figure everything out in my own head. Maybe some of you wiser people can advice me.
I always swore I would never get into a relationship while I worked as an escort. It's too conflicting for me. I am away to college next year for 2 years so need to continue working as an escort in order to survive that period. I am also self employed doing something totally unrelated and more to do with the college course I will be taking, so have other money coming in to explain my earnings.
Now here I am 5 months into a relationship with a lovely man, he is not a client and has no idea what I do for a living. I have known him over 10 years and we have both been in other relationships, knew we had feelings for each other, but never acted on them until now, when we are suddenly both free at the same time...He lives at the other end of the country, is divorced and while we are spending time together, we aren't in each other's pockets. He has been cheated on in the past and I know he would view escorting as cheating. This is what my struggle is...as I do and I don't....
I have no feelings at all for any of my clients, some I like, but not in a relationship way. They are just nice guys. They do me no harm and likewise me to them. I enjoy the work and always have. It's just work to me. However since meeting my partner I am turning down work left, right and centre, yet I need the money to survive, but I feel so guilty.
What do I do?...How can I reconcile it all in my own head and continue working. Have any of you been in the same boat and how did you cope? If I could limit my bookings maybe that would help. I have already stopped certain things such as kissing, as I don't want to kiss any one else but him and I never do anything unsafe that would put either of us at risk. Ideally telling him would have been ideal but owing to health issues he has and concerns around his own body image I don't think it would be well received at all.
I could stop but would struggle to pay bills and mortgage, so not ideal either. Don't see us living together for a long time if ever, certainly not for 2 - 3 years anyway and he has no access to my house when I am not there, so can't go rooting and discover my other life. Also work phone is off and hidden away when he is here.
Answers on a postcard folks, please and thank you
Nat
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That's a really difficult one since you say you definitely want to continue escorting for the period you're studying.
Do you think that in the future, say you have given up escorting and you're just working for yourself, if you were to tell him that you used to be an escort (but not while you were together) he would be okay with that - or would he struggle to cope with your past?
I would find it very difficult to live with someone knowing there was this big dark secret between us. I really struggle with lying to people when it's something as important as this. I think for me there would always be a niggling fear, too, that at some point he might find out, and that would send my anxiety spiralling.
If you think he would cope - or that you could cope with not telling him and feel secure that you wouldn't be exposed - then I'd suggest telling him that you want to put things on the back burner for now while you really concentrate on your studies and you don't feel it's fair to continue in a relationship when you can't give him the time he deserves. Then when you're finished with your studies and re-joining civvy street, you could pick up where you left off. By then he may have moved on, and you may have too, but to me that would be a risk worth taking to avoid 2yrs+ of deception and guilt.
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I dont like to tell ladies what to do but can share with you my thoughts on your situation from my personal experience you say he has known you for 10 years so guessing he knows your friends and fam ? if your secret bout what you do I 100 percent would not say any thing he could get really annoyed and tell people , We are human at the end of the day I have fought my feelings for a guys I have liked in the passed like you said the confusion makes you feel bad . If you offered only Dom or massage might make you feel better bout working . Since I was completely screwed over by a guy who I was honest with I have learnt my lesson this Job is best kept secret in my opinion when comes to relationships
xx
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I've been with my long term partner now 8years, have been escorting on and off the past 5, for the first 3 he worked along side me but after the birth of our second child I started working on my own, I tell him all the details and he loves it haha xx
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I met my partner while swinging and he knew I was a dominatrix from the off. He's supportive and knows sex isn't involved so he's ok with it. He rings me before and after a meet to make sure I'm ok and if he's been home he's even met a few.
He knows how much happier I am doing this compared to my old charity job and that's all that matters for him.
Plus being in the forces he's pretty handy ;D
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Thanks for the replies folks, no he doesn't know my friends or family. But as they know what I do, there is no damage he can do there at all.
The phone is dead this past 2 weeks also lol grrrrr
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I was straight up with my new boyfriend when we met n told him n it's been fine but then I've not worked really since I've been seeing him n it's only been like 5 weeks so far so we are at the stage of liking each others company but aren't in love. I will be working again this week though but I won't mention that to him. I know he'd prefer me to have a normal job but that's more to do with regular income. So far it's not been a big issue that I'm an escort. But it's very early days and I make sure he's happy and has no complaints sexually and nothing to be jealous about. No bookings getting in the way of our time together. No endless talk about escorting. No getting annoyed with work and being a miserable cow in his company as a result. Nothing that would be a problem for him to worry about. I don't think it will get in the way unless I need to change our days to see a client I can't refuse as the moneys too good or if I'm repeatedly too sore for sex, even then sex wouldn't be a problem as there are other things rather than penetration to do. So really I think it would boil down to work getting in the way of our time which I don't plan on letting happen or if it ever did I wouldn't let it occur much. In the long-term, if things get really serious and love starts to blossom I suppose there is the possibility of him not wanting me seeing any other men at all and wanting me for himself. But that's a bridge that may or may not need crossing at a later date and then I will have to decide how I feel and how to deal with the situation.
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I really want a boyfriend I miss being in a relationship but don't want to quit escorting, how do you find an understanding man whilst doing the job?? So lonely..
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I can only speak for myself, but for me it's been converting a regular who had the right attitude (IE cuckolding is fun!) AND had decent bedroom skills too.
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It is a problem if you ask me.
Mainly because I rarely find somebody I like lol.
I have a friend but we don't sleep together. I don't know if it is because he feels out of his depth but we do meet up weekly it feels half boyfriend half platonic. Weird! To be honest I am just pleased I have a friend to hang out with to socialise who does not judge. As I don't tell people as a rule and have very few friends although lots of superficial contacts.
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There are a lot of threads on dating and when/ if you tell them :)
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It's hard, I'm upfront from convo 1 as to what I do.
If they're not that open-minded it's never going to work.
Then there's the ones you get on well with, fuck, and then they ghost you as they've had their freebies.
I'm seeing someone in the industry, but even that's hard at times as we have very different ideas on sex.
Course I could just be shot at this whole game ;D
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I've decided to have a casual relationship with a guy I was seeing last year. Better the devil you know. My ex of only a few weeks knew I had done escorting. Been on a hiatus a wild due to health issues. He didn't care though. I want to keep things simple at the moment, escorting or not
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I've decided to have a casual relationship with a guy I was seeing last year. Better the devil you know. My ex of only a few weeks knew I had done escorting. Been on a hiatus a while due to health issues. He didn't care though. I want to keep things simple at the moment, escorting or not
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I've decided to have a casual relationship with a guy I was seeing last year. Better the devil you know. My ex of only a few weeks (another guy) knew I had done escorting. Been on a hiatus a while due to health issues. He didn't care though. I want to keep things simple at the moment, escorting or not
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I would like a relationship where I'm respected. But respect these days is something of a mirage - even for people with civvy jobs!
I don't know. I'm torn. I would like a relationship, but the thought of going on countless dates trying to find someone decent overwhelms me. I don't meet men outside this job and I'd rather know someone first before I consider dating them, so internet dating is out of the question.
I've also had bad relationship experience before, especially with my long term ex whom I lived with. He was the only man I've lived with and he was a nightmare in terms of verbal abuse etc. I didn't do this job back then. Suffice to say I'm so much happier without him, but the thought of remaining single forever because of all this makes me think he has won and I hate that thought! Mind you, I've had another relationship since then, but that didn't work out either.
Reading all this back I'm a textbook case for a psychologist ;D
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I really rally like sex work .. I stripped, escorted, played sugarbaby. I just love doing it. I love the connection, the sex, the flirting, the action, feeling desired..
Luckily my husband supports me and lets me do it. I have two nights a week and four weeks a year when i can stay out and be with other men. We also have other rules, like i cannot ever mention the money i make with him. I can save it, spend it, waste it, as long as i pay taxes and keep it hidden he is ok with it. He wants to pay all bills, doesn't want me to put food on table with it ... I can only buy lingerie with it, miniskirts, anything sexy to turn heads.
There are men who are very happy to accept sex work, find it hot, but you must catch them when they are emotionally fragile and feel left alone because you are with someone else .. Then one has to be super sweet with them to compensate.. Your husband is your best regular, you must treat him really well
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but you must catch them when they are emotionally fragile and feel left alone
Emmmmm.... No. Having been on the other end of manipulation in a relationship, I would never do it to someone else just so that I can continue the work I want. I am going to do this job. If I find a partner who's happy with that then cool. But I won't manipulate someone or prey on vulnerable men to accept it.
If those are the dynamics you have in your marriage and it works for you guys; awesome. But please don't advise people to manipulate men in order to find a partner who will "accept" this job.
Not cool.
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I have this huge crush on a male friend who I've known for the past two years. For now, I'm happy just to have his friendship as we have loads in common. He's married anyway so it's a good job I'm happy with the friendship. He has no idea I fancy him anyway. Well, I don't think he does :)
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I really rally like sex work .. I stripped, escorted, played sugarbaby. I just love doing it. I love the connection, the sex, the flirting, the action, feeling desired..
Luckily my husband supports me and lets me do it. I have two nights a week and four weeks a year when i can stay out and be with other men. We also have other rules, like i cannot ever mention the money i make with him. I can save it, spend it, waste it, as long as i pay taxes and keep it hidden he is ok with it. He wants to pay all bills, doesn't want me to put food on table with it ... I can only buy lingerie with it, miniskirts, anything sexy to turn heads.
There are men who are very happy to accept sex work, find it hot, but you must catch them when they are emotionally fragile and feel left alone because you are with someone else .. Then one has to be super sweet with them to compensate.. Your husband is your best regular, you must treat him really well
Bloody hell, what a steaming pile of horseshit.
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Bloody hell, what a steaming pile of horseshit.
Sounds like the script of a bad porn movie.
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Then one has to be super sweet with them to compensate.. Your husband is your best regular, you must treat him really well
I could be out of line and misread alot of this. Does your husband also treat you as his "best escort or sugar baby"? I know you both swing, me and my ex husband also did as well as being in a somewhat open relasionship but I think he would have cried or left me if I said he was like my best regular. Be careful what you post here as your husband could read it as could family or children etc.
I strongly believe a relasionship can work while escorting if you find the right person but neither side should be fake or manipulate the other just find what works for them as a couple.
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Every one has mixed reviews on this subject . We Can’t always be honest and upfront to every one we can only do what’s best for us and out situation . And the end of the day the other person has her views on this subject . I personally would never see the man I’m in love with as a client these men are work when I have a booking them I just see money . A partner is special and is your love but we are entitled to our opinions x x
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I am friendly with a man I know outside of escorting. He knows about the job and although we get on well we just socialise and the odd kiss and hug. We don't have sex. Whereas I would like more I know he doesn't so I believe it is the job that puts him off.
Also he is used to not wearing condoms so he knows I wouldn't compromise on the matter!
I think we are doomed. Unless he slowly weakens.
I do see him every week near enough. Unless he is busy with family holidays. His son and his parents.
A bit like a boyfriend without the sex perhaps!
He isn't very sexual as he is strong in spiritual matters but in 6 months of getting to know him we never did the deed.
Perhaps he just doesn't feel the same way oh well!
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My ex was the one who came up with the idea of me being an escort to pay off my debts.
It really backfired on him because some of my clients were way more talented in bed than him!
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I've never had a problem getting into relationships whilst escorting. Been with my current boyfriend almost 2 years and its very happy :) I only found that they don't want their friends and family knowing (understandable!) Overall, I think a lot of men actually like it because we can be more open-minded sexually and they find it fun/exciting. Obviously, a super conservative man wouldn't like it but thats not the kinda man I'd want to be with anyway.
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Emmmmm.... No. Having been on the other end of manipulation in a relationship, I would never do it to someone else just so that I can continue the work I want. I am going to do this job. If I find a partner who's happy with that then cool. But I won't manipulate someone or prey on vulnerable men to accept it.
If those are the dynamics you have in your marriage and it works for you guys; awesome. But please don't advise people to manipulate men in order to find a partner who will "accept" this job.
Not cool.
I think what she means by you must be aware to catch them when they’re low is meant to mean catch them as in be aware and there to reassure them if they have a moment of insecurity, because shes talking about having a boyfriend/partner that’s fine with the job but then if they have a sudden moment of insecurity, and goes on to say if this happens when you’re working then you “must be super sweet”, ie if they’re overcome with insecurities about the job, be aware and there to reassure them
Think that’s what she’s saying anyway !
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Loved reading all that and could relate to all of it..especially the part about not turning a holiday into a tour....guilty!!!
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Serious question how do some of you girls cope with trusting a man? Considering most of the guys who see us are married? I don’t have the problem because I’m polyamorous and in an open relationship
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Serious question how do some of you girls cope with trusting a man? Considering most of the guys who see us are married? I don’t have the problem because I’m polyamorous and in an open relationship
I have no idea of the marital status of most of my customers, but since men (like women) are not a massive homogenous group whose members all behave exactly the same way, it's easiest to treat people as individuals and take each on his or her own terms :).
It's also worth remembering that the last (purported and not easily checked, but it's the best we've got) figure for the proportion of men who punt was 10%, so one in ten. That means nine out of ten don't.
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So, because of this line of work I've always thought it was impossible to do this and have a boyfriend. I would see guys on a casual basis but I always made it clear I didn't want an actual relationship. Until about a month ago, someone who I was seeing casually wanted more & I decided to tell him I was an escort but he still wanted to see me. He seemed pretty fine with it, he did seem a little bothered everytime I had to work but nothing majorly and we ended up getting really serious in the last month. About a couple days ago, he really wanted me to quit and confessed he's been bottling his emotions & drinking the nights I had to work. I told him I couldnt quit & if he couldnt deal with it then we should split.
He thought about whether he could handle it and decided he could but I am unsure whether this will still hurt and cause problems for him eventhough he thinks he can deal with it and is cooler about it.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Or does anyone have a boyfriend who knows what you do and does he deal with it well?
Im married! Weve been together 15years, im 25. I married him on my 18th and lost my virginity to him!
Few years later im here! Ha!
Were still together, we have a mutual agreement. There are certain things, positions, actions, acts, plays, outfits- i dont do, as we kepe them sacred for ourself. I also always make sure our sex life is as exciting as ever. Im honest with him too. I dont tell him what i do on bookings, but he knows we have enough trust in each other to know im sticking to our agreement.
Its difficult at times especially for him, some days hell call me and ask me to not work, to which i wont! This isnt my sole job, so this is just extra on the side. Some woulld call us greedy :) He spends a lot of time away in Europe with a business we own together.
I believe it depends on the strength of the relationship, and how jealous the partner can get! My husband isnt a jealous man, weve been together long enough to know this is just business. Weve also agreed to marry again, with new vows once we stop this. So it wasnt a rash decision, took some thought and conversations to say the least!
I believe it depends on the relationship strength and how much you truly love each other to know why your doing this. If your doing it because you want a different cock than your husbands, maybe the relationship isnt meant to be. But if its to help fund a beautiful lifestyle together then i believe agreements can be made and a happy life lived together inbetween this!
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After coping with clients I really have nothing left to give to any potential relationship!
I don't know how some of you do it I really don't lol.
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After coping with clients I really have nothing left to give to any potential relationship!
I don't know how some of you do it I really don't lol.
Same. I have no romantic or sexual energy left to give to anyone on any kind of regular basis after clients have been taken care of.
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But then I am an old lady lol (55 soon). Read the book and bought the t shirt in the past ....!
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But then I am an old lady lol (55 soon). Read the book and bought the t shirt in the past ....!
Go wash your mouth out with soap!! (or something else if you do that kind of thing) ;D
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I'm 31 with one unhappy LTR under my belt (and a smattering of smaller ones) but it was enough to burn me. Yea, I know, I might meet someone more suitable for me and have a happier relationship but I'm not willing to risk the attempt. And once I get to know someone enough to know if they are 'good for me' I'm attached and however crap it is I lack the discipline to call it off... so I ferment in the dysfunction. And last time it made me too stressed to work and so I quit and ended up depending on him, which made it worse. Never again.
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Serious question how do some of you girls cope with trusting a man? Considering most of the guys who see us are married? I don’t have the problem because I’m polyamorous and in an open relationship
I think for me it is realising that monogamy isn't just "never sleeping with someone else".
I can't remember the study, but apparently two thirds of people admit to cheating at some point in their life.
Which doesn't mean you failed monogamy. We don't live as long as average. I mean, my parents cheated and have celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. Doesn't mean they failed at monogamy, just that they slipped up during a difficult time.
As such I don't view a partner stepping out as a betrayal, I view them telling me as a breaking of trust. As I have a don't ask don't tell policy. Mostly because knowing will only hurt me.
I have a casual partner, and I'd honestly never consider a serious partner until I was out of this work. And even with my casual partners, I trust them until they give me reason not to. We have the deal to share test results, and disclose accidents.
Which isn't entirely different to what I have said to monogamous partners in the past, get tested often, if you fuck up and use protection, I don't need to know, but if you didn't you better tell me. And deal with the consequences. It's the one exceptions I have to the don't ask don't tell rule.
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I would imagine it is easier to find men who accept the work if they work in this line also e.g. adult photographers or sex shop owners or whatever.
I still haven't got the patience and most are hooked up anyway.
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I have tried many times to have a boyfriend. Never works out....
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Never has worked for me either... I think I'm best off being single while doing this job, if past experience is anything to go by!
Last relationship was 4 years, and I had to quit this as my partner wouldn't even begin to understand in the first place and there would be no way I could have got away with doing it without them finding out ::)
So now I'm pretty much back to square one work wise, having to re-start all over again is daunting really BUT it's the only job I've ever actually been able to tolerate...and also the only one that pays well enough to fund the way I want to live, and right now my financial wellbeing, kids happiness, and my independence is WAY more important to me than having another relationship...and at least I'll have the sex aspect covered ;D
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My ex dumped me after I told them :'(
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I dated a non-client while I was exiting escorting and am still with him, he knows of my past and has got the attitude of our future is what counts.
If I were going to escort again slim chances, I would take men out of the equation unless they paid. Most of my time wasted and heartache could be avoided.
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I so want to get back with my ex, he always knew me in the sex industry: cam, stripclubs, but would he accept escorting?
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I so want to get back with my ex, he always knew me in the sex industry: cam, stripclubs, but would he accept escorting?
Only he can tell you. And he may not realise the reality of it until it's happening.
If he has any leverage over you (e.g. he'll tell family and friends, he'll try for residence of any joint children) then I'd avoid him entirely.
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voluptuouscurves, my ex has a heart of gold, hence why I want to go back with him, but too afraid to tell him what I am up to for sure, only time will tell xx
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My ex knew what I did. He made my life difficult while I was with him and was emotionally abusive (I didn't see it at the time)
Once we ended things, he went on a smear campaign and told everyone including mutual friends, family and even my boss at my civvy job. He tried really hard to screw me over. All this is current and ongoing. He is still harassing me and sending threats via email. Miserable bastard.
Thats been my experience. Would I have a relationship while escorting? Personally, no. Why bother with all the complexities when I can be single and simple?
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I think for me it is realising that monogamy isn't just "never sleeping with someone else".
As such I don't view a partner stepping out as a betrayal, I view them telling me as a breaking of trust. As I have a don't ask don't tell policy. Mostly because knowing will only hurt me.
I have a casual partner, and I'd honestly never consider a serious partner until I was out of this work.
I noticed RKitten hasn’t been online for some time. So thought if I could pick some others thoughts on this matter. Regarding having a casual partner. Propositioning an open relationship to them. So as to have a relationship of some sorts without letting them get overly attached and not having to disclose you escort.
Whilst working it’s virtually impossible to maintain a typical committed relationship. As suspicions arise. Phone checking can happen. Questions asked. Answerable at times for your whereabouts. It’s too god damn stressful of an act to keep up but also it’s not fair on them when they get hurt. And we too can ultimately get hurt from the heartache at the end. I’ve been there, done that, got the t shirt.
So how do some of you proposition an open relationship without coming across as a hussy that your wanting to sleep around. And in an open relationship still have them respect you and care for you.
I was thinking to say I’ve witnessed growing up some damaging relationships and experienced them of my own. And don’t want to be answerable to being someone’s everything. But to have a respectful casual open happy relationship. And if they ask me ever during this, why they can’t use my personal phone for example. I say phones these days are so personal. My diary and thoughts are in my phone etc.
I just would like to have a connection with someone (to recharge my batteries when not working, which I really need) without having to disclose work life. Be able to have some secrets. But also that they treat me more than a fuck buddy that deserves a sweet caring txt now and then and has some sort of more meaningfulness than one night stands.
It’s extremely hard isn’t it..
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It is usually only winter I can go a bit needy here and there and find myself occasionally hankering for a bloke on an open relationship basis. Where I live it is a very traditional place and very different from London where I used to live for umpteen years.
I know somebody who I fancy who knows what I do but thus far it is platonic the reason I don't feel he can handle it. He likes me a lot and I like him and although he is known through our friendship circle to sleep around and never remain faithful he cannot cope so far with the idea of an escort which is a bit of a double standard given he is known to stray ....!
We have spent a good six months last year socialising with blurred boundaries and confusing mixed messages and yet at the same it has been non sexual bar one handjob. In the end I gave up so stopped mixing with him as it felt too pointless and confusing.
I think the bottom line is a relationship be it open or otherwise only happens exceptionally in the escorting world. Hey ho. Yet I felt I connected with him on so many levels and hadn't done that with a civvie guy in a good few years.
Invariably I come to my senses by spring anyway. Flying solo has many advantages.
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I wouldn't dream of telling any partner. As far as I'm concerned it's my personal thing he doesn't need to know. I'm setting up a future for myself with some goals and aspirations. No one needs to know or judge me for what I choose to do with my life. When I'm ready to settle I will quit the job and it will be a thing of the past dead and buried. I've been on a few casual dates but not seen the guys again simply because we didn't click. There is no need for any if them to know anything about this job.
I've never been the sort of person who needs to have her bf around all the time and I don't like unexpected visits. I tour mostly so as far as any fella is concerned 'im away for work' when i get back I resume to life as normal.
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I’ve found this an impossible situation- I always have to tell them (I’m a terrible liar)
If they are too cool with it I get suspicious of their true intentions and question how much they actually like me if they have no issue with me sleeping with other men..
On the other hand, if they care too much I get a headache and end up swarmed in guilt.
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My ex knew what I did. He made my life difficult while I was with him and was emotionally abusive (I didn't see it at the time)
Once we ended things, he went on a smear campaign and told everyone including mutual friends, family and even my boss at my civvy job. He tried really hard to screw me over. All this is current and ongoing. He is still harassing me and sending threats via email. Miserable bastard.
Thats been my experience. Would I have a relationship while escorting? Personally, no. Why bother with all the complexities when I can be single and simple?
I could have written this myself - this was my situation too!
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I think a few men who are kinky may be able to accept it but they are rare.
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Quite a few people are polyamorous now (dating more than one person at a time) or want to be. I think those type of people might be more open minded about his work. There is a local polyamorous meet up group near me.
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It depends where you live in the country. I doubt there would be a polyamorous group around where I live these days!
I find hobbies relaxing and higher than a relationship. Sounds ridiculous but true lol.
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Reading this thread is just what I needed to try and get things in prospective.
I’ve had to return for financial reasons (lost civvie job) and wanted to be honest with bf of 7 months as in the past I’ve been so deceitful with guys in the past and can’t lie to him, he is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. He was not happy and I completely get that, I’m actually surprised that there are so many men out there that do accept it. He is also concerned about STIs which I think is the least of his worries, us SW are more clued up and aware of sexual health than your average girl.
So where we are at now I’m more or less waiting for him to make a decision really I know what’s coming just feeling a bit heartbroken.
I hope you don’t mind me sharing as no one else to tell.
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I think it is best to expect guys from e.g. sex shop owner trade or porn director to accept our line of work or those running swinging websites etc.
Most usual civvie men including clients to be honest won't accept our job. Only a very rare kinky and extremely openminded person. Who is into open relationships maybe.
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I haven't been able to make it work, unfortunately. I don't obsess over it bc I'm not in a place where I need a guy, but yeah, it's a drag. With the exception of 3/4 ppl, everyone thinks I'm in health insurance & that's why I travel the East Coast so much.
Sidebar: I'm amazed what ppl simply believe when you feed it to them. No one's batted an eye, but to be fair, I spent 20 years in that industry, so it's a perfectly plausible lie.
I have a cpl guys here in Atlanta I date in the most casual way; dinner, movies, art shows, museums, roll in the hay lol. As I say to them, "I'm the best kind of GF to have: 1 that's not around too much."😆😂
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I had high hopes of my working sadly it went down the pan this week
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I met someone i fell in love with when on a break from working, bizaarly turned out he worked in the sex trade himself decades ago. Stupidly i told him I had to and as soon as that happened he completely changed, started gas lighting me and went from someone who was lovely to me to negative, mean and cruel emotionally. I will never tell any man ever again after that experience it left me completely broken. I'm still hurt over it now to be honest and won't allow myself exposed to being in love again whilst I am back working.
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Could never be in a relationship and do this. I would hate it if my partner was sleeping with somebody else, work or not, so I couldn't do it to them. I'm a firm believer of treat people how you expect to be treated and if I didn't want them sleeping round then why should I?. Also I would be paranoid if they were OK with me doing it while In relationship, that it was purely for the money aspect
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How do you girls cope with working in the middle of a breakup? :-( Just yesterday broke up with a guy who although was aware of my job and let me do it, he would always have excuses why can’t he be an actual boyfriend worth a shit. I even heard excuses about why can’t he spend a night with me or see me more often. Recently ive had birthday and he wouldnt even give me anything. Even clients did... I’ve had enough especially when faced with clients who’d treat me better than him.
It fucks with my head and I find it difficult to continue working. Is it better to take a break??
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How do you girls cope with working in the middle of a breakup? :-( Just yesterday broke up with a guy who although was aware of my job and let me do it, he would always have excuses why can’t he be an actual boyfriend worth a shit. I even heard excuses about why can’t he spend a night with me or see me more often. Recently ive had birthday and he wouldnt even give me anything. Even clients did... I’ve had enough especially when faced with clients who’d treat me better than him.
It fucks with my head and I find it difficult to continue working. Is it better to take a break??
I remember finding it difficult with a couple of breakups, I found keeping it strictly to personal life worked best and for me just getting on with work.
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How do you girls cope with working in the middle of a breakup? :-( Just yesterday broke up with a guy who although was aware of my job and let me do it, he would always have excuses why can’t he be an actual boyfriend worth a shit.
Why would you stay with someone who is straight out telling you that "as a boyfriend he's not worth a shit"? Most women have to find this the hard way by themselves but he straight out told you so it's only you to blame for sticking with him.( I'm guessing you thought he was going to magically change and turn into Mr good boyfriend)
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Why would you stay with someone who is straight out telling you that "as a boyfriend he's not worth a shit"? Most women have to find this the hard way by themselves but he straight out told you so it's only you to blame for sticking with him.( I'm guessing you thought he was going to magically change and turn into Mr good boyfriend)
He finally admitted that only yesterday so called it quits. Before hand, he had many excuses not to do basic things and my patience has ran out. Have had enough and although it’s hard, we must let go of people who won’t make effort for us and don’t make space in their life for us. It was challenging to have a booking with a punter right after that was decided but braved thru it. Break needed I think...
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How do you girls cope with working in the middle of a breakup? :-( Just yesterday broke up with a guy who although was aware of my job and let me do it, he would always have excuses why can’t he be an actual boyfriend worth a shit. I even heard excuses about why can’t he spend a night with me or see me more often. Recently ive had birthday and he wouldnt even give me anything. Even clients did... I’ve had enough especially when faced with clients who’d treat me better than him.
It fucks with my head and I find it difficult to continue working. Is it better to take a break??
I made myself to work during my breakup. It was really bad but I was in a bad financial situation as well (justb moved to different city, completly broke). So I was working and crying between bookings, then sleep all day and working in the night. It was also an agency job, they were mentally abusive, I felt like I have to work 7 days a week.
It was harsh and very very damaging mentally, I got burned out to the point I hated this job. But it also gave me a motivation to tell my agency boss fo f*** himself and go independent. And here I am now 5 months later, independent, happy and developing my own business.
Wish you good luck! And If you are able to take a few day/weeks off - do it!
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I found that work really helped me focus on moving forward with my life. I also couldn't afford to take so much time off whilst I got my shit together but eventually I woke up one day and was no longer in that dark, horrible place of a break up.
Good luck, you will get to the other end.
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During a break up I had a booking with a punter who looked just like person I was breaking up with, same style of clothing, build, facial features, general demeanor. Spent the whole booking choking back tears.
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During a break up I had a booking with a punter who looked just like person I was breaking up with, same style of clothing, build, facial features, general demeanor. Spent the whole booking choking back tears.
That’s gotta be a mind fuck...
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Ok so with lockdown and ex husband pushing for a divorce I'm feeling more alone than ever and anxious. An ex has been trying for years to get me to sleep with him again and I just felt lonely and had him over for a drink and we slept together. What made me feel worse is after the act he got dressed and was off home, Normally it's a job getting a punter out the door lol. So today I'm trying to think why I gave it away because i felt worse than when I get paid by a punter, Kind of feel like he got a freebie lol Feel sad and weak over it but also I'm thinking that doing escorting means I've made myself alone and no chance of dating due to the way I view men, Escorting actually made me realise I'd rather have men pay for my time and body than give it away as before escorting I found most guys just wanted the goods with no commitment.Is that messed up to think this way or am I not alone? I couldn't date a guy if he knew I was a escort so until I save and do what I planned I'm going to be alone. Lockdowns making it worse with not seeing friends and then knowing some people have a partner for companionship. Hoping not to come across pathetic but that's how i feel right now.
Has anyone experienced a real relationship with someone who knew you was a escort? I just worry that a guy that was ok with it wasn't really that bothered about me as a companion but more free sex and decent lifestyle.
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Ok so with lockdown and ex husband pushing for a divorce I'm feeling more alone than ever and anxious. An ex has been trying for years to get me to sleep with him again and I just felt lonely and had him over for a drink and we slept together. What made me feel worse is after the act he got dressed and was off home, Normally it's a job getting a punter out the door lol. So today I'm trying to think why I gave it away because i felt worse than when I get paid by a punter, Kind of feel like he got a freebie lol Feel sad and weak over it but also I'm thinking that doing escorting means I've made myself alone and no chance of dating due to the way I view men, Escorting actually made me realise I'd rather have men pay for my time and body than give it away as before escorting I found most guys just wanted the goods with no commitment.Is that messed up to think this way or am I not alone? I couldn't date a guy if he knew I was a escort so until I save and do what I planned I'm going to be alone. Lockdowns making it worse with not seeing friends and then knowing some people have a partner for companionship. Hoping not to come across pathetic but that's how i feel right now.
Has anyone experienced a real relationship with someone who knew you was a escort? I just worry that a guy that was ok with it wasn't really that bothered about me as a companion but more free sex and decent lifestyle.
Yes, lockdown has made me very resentful of people having company just cos they live together. Most people are in a relationship and lockdown just forces single people to become isolated.
I never feel lonely usually as I have so many friends, hobbies and interests. Now I am mostly left with nothing.
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Ok so with lockdown and ex husband pushing for a divorce I'm feeling more alone than ever and anxious. An ex has been trying for years to get me to sleep with him again and I just felt lonely and had him over for a drink and we slept together. What made me feel worse is after the act he got dressed and was off home, Normally it's a job getting a punter out the door lol. So today I'm trying to think why I gave it away because i felt worse than when I get paid by a punter, Kind of feel like he got a freebie lol Feel sad and weak over it but also I'm thinking that doing escorting means I've made myself alone and no chance of dating due to the way I view men, Escorting actually made me realise I'd rather have men pay for my time and body than give it away as before escorting I found most guys just wanted the goods with no commitment.Is that messed up to think this way or am I not alone? I couldn't date a guy if he knew I was a escort so until I save and do what I planned I'm going to be alone. Lockdowns making it worse with not seeing friends and then knowing some people have a partner for companionship. Hoping not to come across pathetic but that's how i feel right now.
Has anyone experienced a real relationship with someone who knew you was a escort? I just worry that a guy that was ok with it wasn't really that bothered about me as a companion but more free sex and decent lifestyle.
Lockdown is proving to be awful for peoples mental health -in general-, that means sex workers and non sexworkers. Peoples' depression and anxiety levels are of the roof. There is a mental health pandemic right now with all the lockdowns, uncertainty and people loosing their jobs left and right so Miss Elvira: you're not alone (believe me), the loneliness is becoming too much for quite a few. We were designed to interact with other humans, not to be isolated. Said this your guy is a jerk. If I were in your shoes I would let him know that you've been through a tough time with all this isolation and him leaving so coldly after having sex made you feel like crap. Take it out of your system and don;t be ashamed of telling him, them cross him of your list and have a nice hot bubble bath. :)
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I'm in a relationship and he knows what I do. Only been going out a few months. But it's an open relationship as I get a lot of sexual and emotional satisfaction with some of my regulars and I could only do it by being honest. He seems ok with it so far but time will tell. It doesn't bother me if he sleeps with other women.
I believe there is always someone for everyone so stay positive and I'm sure you will find someone. Don't go looking for it though.
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During a break up I had a booking with a punter who looked just like person I was breaking up with, same style of clothing, build, facial features, general demeanor. Spent the whole booking choking back tears.
I’ve been here! Can do relate :'(
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Thanks Girls and I feel better today I'm normally dying for some alone time with busy work and social life lol But lockdowns taken away my life outside of escorting and I definitely agree on the mental health part as I have looked after a family member with mental health issues and I'm feeling anxiety with lack of appetite, Bad sleep and stomach aches. Just need to adapt more and exercise more to get my mood up and less wine because I'm bored or feeling sorry for myself and foolish regarding the ex. So sorry for moaning and I hope things do get better for us all and people can have that connection again.
Relationship wise I need to just be in the best one with myself for now and more bubble baths :) x
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Every guy I have ever dated has seen my job, as I have come to realise, as an excuse to use me for money, to keep me as a dirty secret (whilst pretending to care more for me) and to be able to sleep around and rub my nose in it. On top of which, whenever I've got involved with a guy its always dented my confidence with work because many of them have put down my appearance and made me feel not good enough and told me they didn't believe I would be able to make that much money doing what I do (even though I've always done well and had good reviews, lots of return clients etc). I've given up on love and serious relationships a few years back but thought I'd be able to casual date but that didn't work either, one user got his claws into me through emotional manipulation, which I've never been very good at detecting until it clicks in.
I've decided not only to not have boyfriends but not to even do it for free casually. It never feels worth it. Sex work is a nice, clean simple way of getting my sexual needs met (whilst earning a comfy living) without becoming vulnerable to those who'd happily take advantage.
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I think you've just met the wrong guys. What you earn is your business and they should respect that. Also anyone putting you down is just a form of control.
Don't give up though there are lots of lovely guys out there.
I get a lot of enjoyment sexually with my job too and doubt I'd ever have a one night stand again.
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I think you've just met the wrong guys. What you earn is your business and they should respect that. Also anyone putting you down is just a form of control.
Don't give up though there are lots of lovely guys out there.
I get a lot of enjoyment sexually with my job too and doubt I'd ever have a one night stand again.
I hear what you are saying but there are risks and benefits, and to me the potential risks outweigh any potential benefits. Being with men, either full time or casually, just has never been worth the heartache and disappointments, there are so many other things to enjoy in life that have been more fulfilling.
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Sorry to hear that. I think in time you will meet someone.
However like you say there are so many other things in life to enjoy so don't focus on men and relationships right now. I always find when you focus too much on finding someone it never happens.
But keep positive.
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I think mostly it is very hard having relationships while escorting. You are right if a lot of guys are ok with you doing this job i do question why are they? I have had plenty of past friends that do this and there boyfriends/husbands knew what they did and they just sponged off them and had no respect for them they encouraged them to work the boyfriends became more lazy as well, i felt very sad that some of the women were putting up with it. I myself could never put up with a man treating me this way but sometimes they do it in a very brainwashing way over time and you do not always see it straight away.
There could be some that have a different experience and find it works with the boyfriend they have and they are both very open minded to this. I suppose it depends what type of man you meet and how you also feel about the sex work too. I think there is some women on here where the arrangement works for them well but yet again depends on the man.
For me but this is only my opinion for myself and how i feel, i would not want to be with a man that was really cool with me doing sex work and happy for me to do it long term i would find that hard. I only do sex work for me.
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What i will say though if you have a boyfriend that has accepted your job just make sure he has a full time job and will never expect money off you or to keep him that is when you know you are being badly used.
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I think mostly it is very hard having relationships while escorting. You are right if a lot of guys are ok with you doing this job i do question why are they? I have had plenty of past friends that do this and there boyfriends/husbands knew what they did and they just sponged off them and had no respect for them they encouraged them to work the boyfriends became more lazy as well, i felt very sad that some of the women were putting up with it. I myself could never put up with a man treating me this way but sometimes they do it in a very brainwashing way over time and you do not always see it straight away.
It shouldn't be that way at all. I know plenty of civvie couples where she has a very high earning job he doesn't and there's no sponging or mistreatment of the missus because of it, why should this be different because she's a sex worker?
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It shouldn't be that way at all. I know plenty of civvie couples where she has a very high earning job he doesn't and there's no sponging or mistreatment of the missus because of it, why should this be different because she's a sex worker?
Because it happens and you should ask the men who treat them this way rather then asking me as i am not the one abusing any sex workers. Burlesque has said her experiences with her boyfriends were bad that is what i was discussing.
Saafe is about sex work and sex workers that is why we are talking about that, the chat was not about non sex worker relationships so that is why i never started talking about that.
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In my experience, civvy men have always been FAR worse than clients. And during the 5 years I've been doing this, there's only a small percentage who I'd refuse to see again.
For me to put up with men I want paying for it :)
Some clients have turned out to be really good friends. I've never had a straight civvy male who I've had a decent friendship with. Ever.
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In my experience, civvy men have always been FAR worse than clients. And during the 5 years I've been doing this, there's only a small percentage who I'd refuse to see again.
For me to put up with men I want paying for it :)
Some clients have turned out to be really good friends. I've never had a straight civvy male who I've had a decent friendship with. Ever.
Yes there is some decent clients out there i have met a few nice ones that are genuine and been kind to me not just after free sex but if i had to put a percentage on it i would say there is more bad clients then good unfortunately for me anyway.
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It shouldn't be that way at all. I know plenty of civvie couples where she has a very high earning job he doesn't and there's no sponging or mistreatment of the missus because of it, why should this be different because she's a sex worker?
We live in a society that has forever hated prostitutes and seen women who do this as at best hapless victims and at worst lazy, lowlifes who manipulate 'poor innocent' men with our sexual antics. It makes sense that it would not be uncommon to be used for money as English Green says (the couple of guys who've tried this on with me think that I'm just 'lying on my back' and therefore I don't deserve my money and so why can't they have a piece of my pie??) or otherwise disrespected. And maybe there are men out there who would be loving and respectful to a sex worker but I've kissed enough frogs at this point.
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Sorry to hear that. I think in time you will meet someone.
However like you say there are so many other things in life to enjoy so don't focus on men and relationships right now. I always find when you focus too much on finding someone it never happens.
But keep positive.
I don't mean to badger on about this but if a woman says she simply doesn't want a man (whether because of sex work or otherwise) I think its just cool to accept that as is, however alien that may seem. To me men are best met in one hour slots ;D with a very definable Use Before date.
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We live in a society that has forever hated prostitutes and seen women who do this as at best hapless victims and at worst lazy, lowlifes who manipulate 'poor innocent' men with our sexual antics. It makes sense that it would not be uncommon to be used for money as English Green says (the couple of guys who've tried this on with me think that I'm just 'lying on my back' and therefore I don't deserve my money and so why can't they have a piece of my pie??) or otherwise disrespected. And maybe there are men out there who would be loving and respectful to a sex worker but I've kissed enough frogs at this point.
Exactly this. There is a small percentage of people that don't judge us but a lot do. This is why a lot of us hide our faces on photos, lie about our occupation and try to keep it hidden.
[off topic post removed]
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To me men are best met in one hour slots ;D with a very definable Use Before date.
Haha that is very much how I view relationships with men too at present but who knows, it may change.
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To me men are best met in one hour slots ;D with a very definable Use Before date.
This is my quote of the year already!
I enjoy my punters, but remember folks...a man's not just for Xmas.
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I've just starting seeing someone new who I've know a while and always known my job but never been happy about it. This is my only source of income and I make more than I would in civvy life.
First thing my new fella has quite a big cock and although I really enjoy sex with him I get rather sore after even the next day. We both have quite a high sex drive and were in our so called honeymoon period so endless shagging at the moment.
So last week we had sex a few times which left me sore the next day when I had a booking. Sex with my client was taking longer than normal but had to stop due to the soreness. Luckily he was ok finishing with a hj. I'm wondering if this might cause a problem with my work now so trying to figure a way to get the balance right with my fella.
Because he doesn't like me doing this job, my last booking ran over by ten mins and he kept texting me giving me hassle as he knew what time the booking was and that I was seeing a regular who I'm fond of and know he has feelings for me. I reassured him he's just a client and that's it.
I've always been very open with my new fella about my job and my clients but now thinking maybe I shouldn't tell him so much. I can't deal with the stress of him interfering with my work.
Just wondered if anyone has had similar experiences and how to deal with this.
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Hi Jessie and often in any relationship it's important to pay attention to how the person acts and treat you in the beginning and this is the Honeymoon stage and your guy already doesn't like that you escort, Interrogated you over a booking running over. Unless you set your boundaries and your boyfriend accepts them then things could get worse or end up stressful and mess with your head. Ask yourself why you need to escort and if it's for financial gain and your lifestyle and future, Can this relationship supply you with more and will you be happy and financially independent. Also think how he may try and sabotage you working, Loads of sex in the beginning is great but if your too sore to work then that's uncomfortable for you may have to pass up on bookings making a loss. Ideally a partner in crime would understand and you could hold back on too much sex with your well endowed partner and save it for a time you can have a days break from escorting.
Other ladies may have more experience with relationships and escorting, I have avoided it and wouldn't date a guy who knew I was escorting, From the guys I have dated they would not want me having sex with anyone else.
It's a tough one, I'd like a relationship and to keep escorting but not the complications or someone just happy to have me give them a nice lifestyle.
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I've just starting seeing someone new who I've know a while and always known my job but never been happy about it. This is my only source of income and I make more than I would in civvy life.
First thing my new fella has quite a big cock and although I really enjoy sex with him I get rather sore after even the next day. We both have quite a high sex drive and were in our so called honeymoon period so endless shagging at the moment.
So last week we had sex a few times which left me sore the next day when I had a booking. Sex with my client was taking longer than normal but had to stop due to the soreness. Luckily he was ok finishing with a hj. I'm wondering if this might cause a problem with my work now so trying to figure a way to get the balance right with my fella.
Because he doesn't like me doing this job, my last booking ran over by ten mins and he kept texting me giving me hassle as he knew what time the booking was and that I was seeing a regular who I'm fond of and know he has feelings for me. I reassured him he's just a client and that's it.
I've always been very open with my new fella about my job and my clients but now thinking maybe I shouldn't tell him so much. I can't deal with the stress of him interfering with my work.
Just wondered if anyone has had similar experiences and how to deal with this.
From experience I see it going one way...sounds like 'the bad thing' is starting.
Fuck buddies or boyfriends can get all territorial to controlling and poke nose in your business. But that only happens if one enables it.
You're aware he's always disliked your job, so I wonder how you see this situation improving from this bad start?
Letting him into the emotional status of your client could be an error on your part. Do you think he really needs to know? Jealously seems like a fairly 'normal' reaction. So I have some sympathy for this person. There's a few predictable ways this situation usually plays out.
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I was also going to comment that - as well as you being into him - he may be demanding a lot of sex in a territorial way. Only you will know the answer to that, but combined with his previous negative attitude it is a bit of a red flag.
My take would be enjoy it while it lasts, but perhaps don't get seriously attached any time soon...
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I'm trying to have a casual fling with my ex postie at the moment. His marriage ended last year and we ended up kissing last week. I've decided I can't have a relationship whilst in this job and he's said he doesn't want another relationship either, so I'm going to suggest friends with benefits thing and see what happens.
He doesn't know about my job and I'm very low volume.
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At what point did you do the big reveal of being a sex worker? First time meeting? Second date? A few months in?
Just looking for some advice and experiences with it, I’ve never dealt with it but I want to branch out to dating someone and fully aware it’ll be hit and miss as they won’t know what I do at first.
Unless you're out to family and friends, I would never risk it. Huge risk to take if things go south.
That's why for the time being, I can't let myself get that close to someone and the only way for things to change is if I move away from my area or people die!
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Heya ladies,
I was hoping to see if I can get any advice on a situation with a guy I've started to see. He's definitely not you're average guy, he lives on a Greek island. So therefore I feel like that's made him a bit close minded or inexperienced in this sought of area. Hes not happy that I'm doing this as a job and he definitely has insecurities about it and thinks that if and when I have fun it's not a good thing. I mean sex is just sex.. just fun.. mindless. I always confirm that's he's just different off course and special with an emotional deeper connection whereabouts my clients are not. I want to keep trying to see this guy but if he's going to keep being insecure about this I can't handle it. It's only a recent thing I understand that it's something new he needs to try to understand but if he can't accept it still in a few months I won't be able to handle it
Anyways have you ladies had any experience with guys you've been seeing and how did you go about it. I already said to him I'll be doing this for at least another 6 months and will be going into other avenues after so he needs to accept it. I feel like guys in the UK would be more accepting of this situation xx
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You will get guys that are okay with it but they are few and far between, and when you argue “you’re a prostitute” may get thrown at you, my last boyfriend did this like it was a put down, I said back to him “you’re just a fucking postman”🤣🤣
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I do not think his nationality or where he lives has anything to do with it. A man is either going to be supportive of his girlfriend being a sex worker or he is not. Sadly, no matter how much you like this man, he is never going to be ok with the fact you're a service provider or understand where you're coming from and that the sex is just sex, and that it is meaningless. For some, sex will never be meaningless.
Personally, I think it is best to cut your losses now.
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Heya ladies, I was hoping to see if I can get any advice on a situation with a guy I've started to see. He's definitely not you're average guy, he lives on a Greek island. So therefore I feel like that's made him a bit close minded or inexperienced in this sought of area.
Mediterranean culture is a pretty patriarchal and traditional and men are a tad.. a tad chauvinistic. Culturally greek men are closer to Turkish culture than lets say... south of France. This man may like you a lot but he's fighting against his culture and upbringing, so good luck with that. I mean... it's difficult for a western European man to accept a sex worker GF let alone a Greek man. I would give it a go and see how this pans out, and like you say: put a time limit to it, meaning, if in a few months he hasn't come to terms with it... find greener pastures. I know first hand of an ex sex worker who left the industry to marry a very straight traditional type and 4 years into the relationship (they're still together) her ex job is still an "issue" he keeps throwing against her like some deadly weapon.
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I think it is difficult for a lot of guys to accept especially in my case I get a lot of sexual satisfaction from many clients.
I had a brief relationship recently but broke it off as he stressed me out too much which affected my work. It can make them insecure and at times jealous.
I think the fact you are moving out of this business could help but if things ever go wrong they could take swipe at you referring to your previous work which can be hurtful.
The guy I was seeing said some hurtful things to me once I broke it off with him.
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You will get guys that are okay with it but they are few and far between, and when you argue “you’re a prostitute” may get thrown at you, my last boyfriend did this like it was a put down, I said back to him “you’re just a fucking postman”🤣🤣
Yea and this will happen even if you quit. One ex was found of tell me to 'get back to the brothel, whore' during arguments. He ended up getting done for sex crimes years later. Just a rank, hypocritical misogynist basically, and misogynists will use anything to throw at women - whore, fat, old, loud, ugly whatever. Fuck 'em.
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Silly question but will still ask:
Is prostitution the same as promiscuity if it’s just for the money and in your “normal” life you’re either completely cockless or within a relationship?
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I started escorting about ten years ago, while being in a relationship back then and told my bf. Back then I thought that I would never be with a man if he is ok with this job... I only told him, because he was involved in this business himself and I was already emotionally involved in our relationship. Yes He was ok but but eventually we ended up calling police after a domestic accident all because of this job. So after him I promised to myself to stay single if I am working.
Two years later, maybe because I was lonely... I fell for a client who was lonely too and we just had some instant connection. Me who was so strict and saying things like I would never ever date a client... But then it happened to me... When thinking now I wasnt even attracted to him as a man, but he was more like friend. It was the biggest mistake ever that I stopped working because of him, he was very clear if I date him I have to stop... and because I had some other good income back then I agreed. But he never really trusted me and I know it was because of what I did for a living. I left him after 3 years.... Best decision ever!
Again, I promised never to fall for a client no matter how he makes me feel... how great sex is etc.... BUT one of the things I learned in my life is never sa never... I am in love with a client.... He first came to visit me earlier this year and he knew from our first meeting that I fancied him, then we met few more times. He started asking me out but I was strong and declined. But one day after his another attempt I agreed to go out just to have some fun. And we agreed that if he wanted sex he would pay. Things didnt as planned, after just one night together and since now I cant stop thinking about him... its even harder because he is so nice to me, just the man I always dreamed about.... he is fine with what I do but I guess its because he is married/ separated. So we are now in sort of friends with benefits type of relationship but exclusive ( he insisted) of course that in personal life, as work is work. I am in love, and wonder if he is telling me the true about his marriage being dead and his plans to get divorce.... he was the one starting talking about us as a couple, future plans, feelings and I am really stuck...
Its definitely great to have someone who accept what you do....and treats you nice,gives you all the love, attention, cuddles, intimacy even if he is not really yours...
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Its definitely great to have someone who accept what you do....and treats you nice,gives you all the love, attention, cuddles, intimacy even if he is not really yours...
There is a pretty good chance that if he is lying to his wife, that he is lying to you. I would do the whole 'its all going to end in tears' speech, but you're an adult and I'm sure you already know the risks. I just think sometimes we sex workers find ourselves accepting less than what is reasonable and fair because we are 'grateful' for any guy that deigns to 'accepts' our work. And I wouldn't mind betting some guys work that out, and even if they don't like the whole sex work thing, instead of running, spot an opportunity to get the 'relationship' to work their way.
Don't get me wrong, I think its understandable that some people wouldn't feel happy about dating someone who has sex with other people, money or not, but they should just be honest about that and walk away rather than using it as leverage, which I think happens.
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Its definitely great to have someone who accept what you do....and treats you nice,gives you all the love, attention, cuddles, intimacy even if he is not really yours...
I hope you're charging him properly for all those cuddles otherwise if you're doing it "pro-bono" it's going to be a very tough cookie to digest once you find out he's never going to divorce his wife. Not that you won't get hurted or feel less used (you will, being mislead in the love department is painful for anyone) but it's less painful and you will feel less used with a million pounds extra in your bank account.
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And I wouldn't mind betting some guys work that out, and even if they don't like the whole sex work thing, instead of running, spot an opportunity to get the 'relationship' to work their way.
shots on targetttt🎯🎯🎯 never thought of this before but you are so right :-[
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shots on targetttt🎯🎯🎯 never thought of this before but you are so right :-[
I wish I'd worked this out years ago, it would have made so many things make more sense with regards to men.
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Hi guys! Do you think that dating on the swingers sites is doable?
Basically I really want to date but I don't want to deal with vanilla guys and do coming outs after a few dates, it's so stressful and risky.
I came up with setting up a profile on the swingers site and clearly stating that I'm a sex worker and looking for a serious relationships and dating.
I did it and I'm texting with quite a few guys. they seem really open minded and also claim to look for relationships. I think that after dealing with so many timewasters at work I'm able to distinguish the ones who just want to fuck? I'm surprised because I met quite a few guys who were SW too.
Did anyone try it?
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I'm texting with quite a few guys. they seem really open minded and also claim to look for relationships.
*claim* is the operative word here, particularly when (free) sex is involved.
Many on regular dating website claim to be looking for serious relationships when really they're just looking for sex. What makes you think these men are any different?
It seems silly to reiterate this but those on swinging websites are looking for sex, not dating or relationships (and more often than not, they're already in a relationship/married too. You might strike lucky, but the odds are stacked against you.
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It doesn't make them different. Modern dating looks like that and I know that. But I don't have any other ideas...
I'n trying to verify them if I get any dick pics or sexting I won't entertain it and just end contact.
You're right, it's unlikely but maybe I'll be lucky lol
I think I would need much more luck with vanilla guys. Hmmm
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So, I’ve been talking to this girl for about a month now. We saw each other a couple times and we just get along so well I’d never thought I’d get attached so quickly :( However, she doesn’t know that I’m a sex worker and she wonders where I get my money from…. I feel disingenuous and don’t know how to approach the subject.
I would love to be honest about my work, but at the same time I’m smarter than that and it’s not the type of information people keep to themselves in the long-term. She keeps telling me stuff like “You can trust me”, “you can be yourself with me”…. Lol
Can anyone who’s been in my situation give me advice? How do I know if she’s trustworthy, or am I just setting myself up for failure?
Thank you girls in advance <3 Stay safe
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Obviously only you would know what you want to do in this situation. But if it were me in a situation like this, I would apply the breaks and carry on taking things slowly. Really get to know her, ask her questions that will help you gage her opinion on things. It would help me decide if we thought in similar ways, how she views the industry, sex in general, relationships, etc. Obviously don't just throw the questions in, try to lead the conversation toward that and then ask her what she thinks about the subject. If, unfortunately, you start to determine that she potentually isn't someone who would want to be in a relationship with a sex worker, then she may not be the right person for you. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who supports your life and your choices and you also deserve it to yourself to not have to lie about who you are to obtain a partner :)
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Hi guys! Do you think that dating on the swingers sites is doable?
Basically I really want to date but I don't want to deal with vanilla guys and do coming outs after a few dates, it's so stressful and risky.
I came up with setting up a profile on the swingers site and clearly stating that I'm a sex worker and looking for a serious relationships and dating.
I did it and I'm texting with quite a few guys. they seem really open minded and also claim to look for relationships. I think that after dealing with so many timewasters at work I'm able to distinguish the ones who just want to fuck? I'm surprised because I met quite a few guys who were SW too.
Did anyone try it?
Swingers or not I would treat these guys the old fashioned way, hang out with them, courtship, see if you like them, if you're compatible. Don't have sex with them. Make sure they're for real and not just looking for free sex.
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Don’t care what anyone says, next time if I ever decide to bother with a vanilla one I am hiring an investigator and screen his ass at every possible angle, given how many “claim” to be “single”, “separated” and “child free” when they’re just looking for a side.
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So, I’ve been talking to this girl for about a month now. We saw each other a couple times and we just get along so well I’d never thought I’d get attached so quickly :( However, she doesn’t know that I’m a sex worker and she wonders where I get my money from…. I feel disingenuous and don’t know how to approach the subject.
I would love to be honest about my work, but at the same time I’m smarter than that and it’s not the type of information people keep to themselves in the long-term. She keeps telling me stuff like “You can trust me”, “you can be yourself with me”…. Lol
Can anyone who’s been in my situation give me advice? How do I know if she’s trustworthy, or am I just setting myself up for failure?
Thank you girls in advance <3 Stay safe
Mention the topic somehow such as “a friend of mine does…” and gauge the reaction. Personally I’d just say it like it is before any more feelings develop.
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Hi guys! Do you think that dating on the swingers sites is doable?
Basically I really want to date but I don't want to deal with vanilla guys and do coming outs after a few dates, it's so stressful and risky.
I came up with setting up a profile on the swingers site and clearly stating that I'm a sex worker and looking for a serious relationships and dating.
I did it and I'm texting with quite a few guys. they seem really open minded and also claim to look for relationships. I think that after dealing with so many timewasters at work I'm able to distinguish the ones who just want to fuck? I'm surprised because I met quite a few guys who were SW too.
Did anyone try it?
I would have thought a swingers site would be the last place you would look to actually " date a nice guy"
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I would have thought a swingers site would be the last place you would look to actually " date a nice guy"
That’s a bit judgemental? funnily enough that’s where I met my “nice guy” so I would say yes you can meet there. People meet partners in the most unconventional of ways.
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That’s a bit judgemental? funnily enough that’s where I met my “nice guy” so I would say yes you can meet there. People meet partners in the most unconventional of ways.
I thought swinging sites were just for sex and swapping partners i never knew they were meant for dating too. Oh well you learn something new every day.
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I thought swinging sites were just for sex and swapping partners i never knew they were meant for dating too. Oh well you learn something new every day.
Just sex was the initial plan lol
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I thought swinging sites were just for sex and swapping partners i never knew they were meant for dating too. Oh well you learn something new every day.
I think you can say the same about most of the apps our there. Especially Tinder. My experiences with vanilla apps are that I always encounter guys who want just fuck.
That’s a bit judgemental? funnily enough that’s where I met my “nice guy” so I would say yes you can meet there. People meet partners in the most unconventional of ways.
So you're a 3rd SW person, I know of who met their long therm partner like that! That's gives me hope lol
Can you tell us your story please X I'm so curious!
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Not much of story but we spent a lot of time talking on the phone for a couple of weeks before we met so we kinda had an idea it might be more than just a one off shag. We met it was amazing, not just the sex either lol. Three years later still together.
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I’m on that website fab for swingers and I had a relationship from it for 9 months mostly ended due to distance. I think some of the people can be more open minded about sex.
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I thought swinging sites were just for sex and swapping partners i never knew they were meant for dating too. Oh well you learn something new every day.
Swingers need affection and love just like everyone else (lol) and usually like to date other swingers, just as orthodox jews, christians and vegans, so there's all these websites nowadays where you can find love partners who are "on the same page".
Aint that awesome?
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I’m on that website fab for swingers and I had a relationship from it for 9 months mostly ended due to distance. I think some of the people can be more open minded about sex.
Yes i definately get there more open minded, you have to be to be swinging and swapping partners. The funny thing is me doing sex work seeing all different men is to me only work and outside of it i am very different in what i would want in true life i suppose there is 2 sides to me.
There is a lot of women that actually started off swinging and going to sex parties then turned what they like into paid work and now do this for a living so it's a win win for them.
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Not much of story but we spent a lot of time talking on the phone for a couple of weeks before we met so we kinda had an idea it might be more than just a one off shag. We met it was amazing, not just the sex either lol. Three years later still together.
The big question is though as he ok with you doing sex work would you be ok if he was still swinging or having sex with other women?
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The big question is though as he ok with you doing sex work would you be ok if he was still swinging or having sex with other women?
I don’t see how they are comparable? Ones a job and the other is pleasure
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I don’t see how they are comparable? Ones a job and the other is pleasure
Yes it is a job, i do know one woman though who allows her partner to go elsewhere as she says he thinks it's unfair if she can still have fun and get paid and he cannot so he hooks up too as he apparantely says she cannot keep using her sex with strangers as just a job as it must work both ways. I found that quite funny. They been together on and off couple of years not sure how long they will last as the arrangement is already making her feel uneasy.
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Yes i definately get there more open minded, you have to be to be swinging and swapping partners. The funny thing is me doing sex work seeing all different men is to me only work and outside of it i am very different in what i would want in true life i suppose there is 2 sides to me.
There is a lot of women that actually started off swinging and going to sex parties then turned what they like into paid work and now do this for a living so it's a win win for them.
Yes it’s quite complicated for me I only see sex at work as work. I’m not interested in men to date or even have sex with in my private life. I don’t find them attractive physically, romantically or anything like that.
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Yes it is a job, i do know one woman though who allows her partner to go elsewhere as she says he thinks it's unfair if she can still have fun and get paid and he cannot so he hooks up too as he apparantely says she cannot keep using her sex with strangers as just a job as it must work both ways. I found that quite funny. They been together on and off couple of years not sure how long they will last as the arrangement is already making her feel uneasy.
Thankfully my partner doesn’t have that same thought process, I am very lucky. We don’t live together however so for all I know he could be? He’s a crap liar though and his Conscience would get the better of him. He really is a one off
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Thankfully my partner doesn’t have that same thought process, I am very lucky. We don’t live together however so for all I know he could be? He’s a crap liar though and his Conscience would get the better of him. He really is a one off
Well i suppose we never know anything for sure especially as we see so many clients that lie and cheat day in day out but seems like your situation works well for both of you and least you can be honest about what you do for a living.
I had one bf years ago that found out about , it was early days so was not giving it up. He was open minded and respected women so i probably gave him hints. Well he really did not like the thought of his gf going with others even tho i really did look at it as work so that ended. I don't blame him i probably would have been the same and i decided at the time i did not like him that much to stop the financial side of it at that particular time as i wanted independence.
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Yes it’s quite complicated for me I only see sex at work as work. I’m not interested in men to date or even have sex with in my private life. I don’t find them attractive physically, romantically or anything like that.
Did you come off that website when you realised you were not that interested in men much more now or they just kept disappointing you?
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Did you come off that website when you realised you were not that interested in men much more now or they just kept disappointing you?
No there are other women on the site looking for women but not so many
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No there are other women on the site looking for women but not so many
Oh sorry just realised what you meant you fancy women and no interest in the men hahaha
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I used to do duo bookings with another sp and they were usually evening out calls. Her husband would drive us there and pick us up afterwards. He creeped me out though because he always asked her to describe the booking while he was driving then more often than not he would ask me how many I had "done" that day?
I gave vague answers but wanted to tell him to mind his own fkkkin business. I ended up feeling a little sorry for that lady as she told me he gave up his job a few months after she began escorting.
Eventually I stopped the duos with her after making an excuse as to why I was only doing single bookings from then on.
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I used to do duo bookings with another sp and they were usually evening out calls. Her husband would drive us there and pick us up afterwards. He creeped me out though because he always asked her to describe the booking while he was driving then more often than not he would ask me how many I had "done" that day?
I gave vague answers but wanted to tell him to mind his own fkkkin business. I ended up feeling a little sorry for that lady as she told me he gave up his job a few months after she began escorting.
Eventually I stopped the duos with her after making an excuse as to why I was only doing single bookings from then on.
I know of womens husbands and partners who behaved like that too. I remember one woman's hubby he gave up work too when she went full time doing sex work and he used to drive her to bookings with kids in back seat and sometimes even picked up a client so all of them in the car together he was a nosey bastard too wanting details of what happened and he liked counting the cash at the end of the night!
I suppose some women will have a better experience with a guy and it works well for both and they met the right type of guy and are happy then you get the other extremes of where the partner is taking advantage basically pimped it's often a slow process before they realise what is happening to them.
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Yuk with the kids in the car :o
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Met up with someone from a well known hook up app and we met a couple of times now. It’s getting serious. Not sure if I should tell them about the sex work or carry on with my fake admin job. It will be long distance so I can lie a bit about my touring. But I don’t really like to lie to someone close to me.
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Met up with someone from a well known hook up app and w suave met a couple of times now. It’s herring serious. Not sure if I should tell them about the sex work or carry on with my fake admin job. It will be long distance so I can lie a bit about my touring. But I don’t really like to lie to someone close to me.
That's my dilemma too, really like a guy, long distance, but don't want to hurt him.
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Yes it’s a bit awkward I only planned to meet up for naughty fun and told them I was in the area to visit a friend. Didn’t except them to want to come my house the next week that is 3 and a half hours by train. So now I’m visiting them this week
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I don't see how I could be in a relationship while doing this, it's hell hiding it from family. I couldn't hide it from a fella, I'm a rubbish liar.
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I don't see how I could be in a relationship while doing this, it's hell hiding it from family. I couldn't hide it from a fella, I'm a rubbish liar.
I'm not actively looking but do have a connection with this guy, but, he's not ready for a relationship
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Why not just gently mention that you do the 'odd bit of escorting' to help make ends meet.
You can always play down how much you charge and how busy you are.
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That's my dilemma too, really like a guy, long distance, but don't want to hurt him.
There's no dilemma here, he doesn't want a relationship so... you're safe. Enjoy the ride while it lasts ;)
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There's no dilemma here, he doesn't want a relationship so... you're safe. Enjoy the ride while it lasts ;)
We still message every day and talk weekly. I'm massively attracted to him. But if I'm going to fuck someone for free I want the dates and romance to gone with it. Can't force him though. And given the amount of sex I've had since escorting, for a civvy man he was bloody amazing!
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Why not just gently mention that you do the 'odd bit of escorting' to help make ends meet.
You can always play down how much you charge and how busy you are.
I did tell a bit of a white lie that I was a sex worker to make ends meet whilst studying, he wasn't horrified. He even asked me if I'd go back to it, of course I said I no. I don't plan on being a SW for ever, just until my other business makes more of a profit.
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I've been single for a little while now and I started putting myself back out there dating wise. I'm feeling a bit down about the whole thing because I'm connecting with some really great cute guys that tick my boxes but they don't want to take things further because of my career. I completely understand but it's bumming me out quite a bit because it feels like constant rejection. I feel ready to be in a relationship and my approach is to tell guys pretty quickly so they can make that decision about going forward or not.
I guess my question is how quickly do you tell possible partners? Should I tell them? Is it deceptive if I don't? I appreciate it's a controversial occupation it just kind of sucks
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I've been single for a little while now and I started putting myself back out there dating wise. I'm feeling a bit down about the whole thing because I'm connecting with some really great cute guys that tick my boxes but they don't want to take things further because of my career. I completely understand but it's bumming me out quite a bit because it feels like constant rejection. I feel ready to be in a relationship and my approach is to tell guys pretty quickly so they can make that decision about going forward or not.
I guess my question is how quickly do you tell possible partners? Should I tell them? Is it deceptive if I don't? I appreciate it's a controversial occupation it just kind of sucks
Million dollar question - I don't have the answer. Civvy guys won't accept it, so then do we date a client? They can get jealous after all. I want to find love but I just don't think it will happen, and I don't fancy any of my clients.
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Million dollar question - I don't have the answer. Civvy guys won't accept it, so then do we date a client? They can get jealous after all. I want to find love but I just don't think it will happen, and I don't fancy any of my clients.
I had a civvy bf who did accept it eventually so it is possible. Just mega rare.
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I had a civvy bf who did accept it eventually so it is possible. Just mega rare.
I live in hope! Lol, fair play to you x
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I am dating a client ::) He was ok with me working untill recently when he started to be jealous... He is saying he cant sleep, he is sad because he doesnt like the thought of me having sex with other men... We are having a relationship crisis ??? I suggested to be just casual but so hard I have feelings for him as well.... But one thing for sure I will not stop working because of him!!!! :angel:
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My ex wanted me to quit. I chose the job over him.
Jealousy can be a problem dating a client especially if other clients are giving you sexual pleasure.
At the same time will a client you date be seeing other escorts.
I have a client in love with me but I know he sees other ladies. If I were to have a relationship with him would I trust him to stop seeing other ladies. Probably not.
I do know clients who have dated escorts and did love them so although rare it can happen.
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I am dating a client ::) He was ok with me working untill recently when he started to be jealous... He is saying he cant sleep, he is sad because he doesnt like the thought of me having sex with other men... We are having a relationship crisis ??? I suggested to be just casual but so hard I have feelings for him as well.... But one thing for sure I will not stop working because of him!!!! :angel:
I had some feelings for a client, but he wanted me to stop escorting. In the end he went back to his sugar mamma because I wouldn't let him control me.
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I hope I'm not derailing the topic, but I have enormous respect for ladies who have relationships doing this job. I'd have no nerve to even begin to bring up if I had a boyfriend. I Wouldn't know how to even begin to broach it.
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I hope I'm not derailing the topic, but I have enormous respect for ladies who have relationships doing this job. I'd have no nerve to even begin to bring up if I had a boyfriend. I Wouldn't know how to even begin to broach it.
That's why I am dating a client, well he is not a client anymore. I don't think I can start dating someone and have to lie about my job... I live double life anyway... my family/friends don't know, it's hard. But I wouldn't have guts to tell someone even if he seem open minded etc
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That's why I am dating a client, well he is not a client anymore. I don't think I can start dating someone and have to lie about my job... I live double life anyway... my family/friends don't know, it's hard. But I wouldn't have guts to tell someone even if he seem open minded etc
Very few of my clients are good looking enough or are decent enough in bed lol
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I had some feelings for a client, but he wanted me to stop escorting. In the end he went back to his sugar mamma because I wouldn't let him control me.
I sometimes question myself.... if he really loves me why he doesn't ask me to stop ... how can he just accept it? And the answer is ... I am so stupid I guess to believe him... but I am happy.. it's a casual thing and he brings joy in my life. I rather have him as a friend with benefits than a client ( he wasn't very regular anyway :D )
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Very few of my clients are good looking enough or are decent enough in bed lol
I've had much more attractive guys before or after I met him or better in bed.... But this one is special :D It was instant ATTRACTION from the first moment he walked into my flat...
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I've had much more attractive guys before or after I met him or better in bed.... But this one is special :D It was instant ATTRACTION from the first moment he walked into my flat...
Fair play to you! I'd love that.
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Fair play to you! I'd love that.
But to be honest now when I have feelings for him... nobody even come close to him as looks or skills in bed... Sex when you have feelings it's the BEST x
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But to be honest now when I have feelings for him... nobody even come close to him as looks or skills in bed... Sex when you have feelings it's the BEST x
Absolutely. Last bloke I had freebie sex with was a chap I met off a singles group. Gave him a massage and it led to the hottest sex I have ever had, I really did have feelings for him. We met again and had another night of amazing sex, there was me thinking how was I going to hide the fact I was a sex worker because there was no way I was letting him go.... he wasn't ready for a relationship. Gutted. Decided now nobody is getting freebie sex off me unless a relationship is on the cards.
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I fell in love with a regular who fell in love with me
He supports my job and even gives me tips on making my business better. He has stopped seeing escorts and when he sees an escorts likes he asks me to join for a threesome. I trust him completely and he does too and talk about my job with him. He understands it's just my job,as hes a older man who has lived half of his life as a swinger. At first when we started he would still pay me for sex but I began to feel awkward about it when I got convinced it was genuine. I've told him to stop paying for sex but he still finds a way to spend money or give me money so I dont feel he took advantage of me. He tells me he walked into the relationship with his eyes open knowing I'm an excort and he has accepted it. I make sure i reassure him that sex is different from what we give each other.
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I sometimes question myself.... if he really loves me why he doesn't ask me to stop ... how can he just accept it? And the answer is ... I am so stupid I guess to believe him... but I am happy.. it's a casual thing and he brings joy in my life. I rather have him as a friend with benefits than a client ( he wasn't very regular anyway :D )
I would be careful and not tell him or let him know who your friends and family are just in case things don't work out and he becones vindictive and tells your family and friends about what you do. I had it happen to me but I'm not sure if they believed what he said because no one has ever spoke about it well not to me anyway but probably behind my back.
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Hi,
If you had a situation where punter asks you out (and you find him attractive and pleasant), would you:
1) turn it down or accept
2) if accept, how would you gauge his intentions?
I’m going out with a punter soon, we have met two times and each time he was flawless as a client. He then asked me out for a dinner so far so good. Naturally, I do question his motives for asking me out and consider that he may just be after free fucks. I am curious what sort of warning signs to look out for.
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Hi,
If you had a situation where punter asks you out (and you find him attractive and pleasant), would you:
1) turn it down or accept
2) if accept, how would you gauge his intentions?
I’m going out with a punter soon, we have met two times and each time he was flawless as a client. He then asked me out for a dinner so far so good. Naturally, I do question his motives for asking me out and consider that he may just be after free fucks. I am curious what sort of warning signs to look out for.
Well I have said to good looking flawless clients before after a few visits they could date me (when they asked) but don't expect sex on the first date, of and they're paying for food! Still waiting for a date....
I did go out with a client for a meal a while back, I felt sorry for him but I wasn't attracted, and he seemed to get really clingy and needy. Constantly sending me messages, turned up unannounced. It got too much for me and I had to block.
So, moral of the story is, if he's happy and you're happy go for it, just set ground rules otherwise he's getting free sex. I would be discussing why he wanted to date a SP and whether he was comfortable.
Honesty is key. I know lots of escorts in relationships where the other half is really happy with their job. I'd love that, I really would.
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Hi,
If you had a situation where punter asks you out (and you find him attractive and pleasant), would you:
1) turn it down or accept
2) if accept, how would you gauge his intentions?
I’m going out with a punter soon, we have met two times and each time he was flawless as a client. He then asked me out for a dinner so far so good. Naturally, I do question his motives for asking me out and consider that he may just be after free fucks. I am curious what sort of warning signs to look out for.
Hi, I was in the exact same situation, I accepted and now he is my boyfriend.
-Just make sure his intentions are right and benevolent.
-Make sure he is not looking for free sex (as Milf-G said, make sure not to give him sex on the first date).
-Also make sure he pays for the food, activities and everything for at least the first three dates.
-Try to gauge his intentions and behaviours as much as you can (see if he wants to get to know you deeper, if he is genuinely interested in you for your personality and not for something else, if he projects himself in the future with you).
-Get to know him and see if you two are compatible for a relationship
-Finally make sure you're attracted by him physically (because let's be honest physical attraction is important in a relationship in my opinion), ask yourself if you could have sex with him on a regular basis for free.
If all of this works, then you could develop a relationship and enjoy ;)
Ps. Also make sure he is not constantly reminding you that you're an escort and everything associated with it to put you down psychologically
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Gone out, had a great time, didn’t put out. Next day I lay it out what I’m looking for and he just wanted “to go with the flow”. Isn’t looking for a relationship. So that one is sorted and moved on.
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Gone out, had a great time, didn’t put out. Next day I lay it out what I’m looking for and he just wanted “to go with the flow”. Isn’t looking for a relationship. So that one is sorted and moved on.
Men!!
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Gone out, had a great time, didn’t put out. Next day I lay it out what I’m looking for and he just wanted “to go with the flow”. Isn’t looking for a relationship. So that one is sorted and moved on.
typical men's sentence to say they don't want to be in a relationship, they are very disappointing
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I bet he wanted free sex. My love life is non existent lol
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Can we take the casual sexism down a notch, please? This isn't 'men', this is a man.
Please remember that there are certain topics which will not be tolerated anywhere on SAAFE. These include: Racist, sexist (most certainly including baseless and generalised negativity towards men), transphobic or homophobic subjects. It is more than fine to discuss a negative situation that may have occurred; it is not okay to make negative assumptions about all members of a group based on such a situation.
^^^^^
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He can “go with the flow” elsewhere and the only thing I’m gonna “hang out” is my knickers on a washingline.
He’s now a non-entity client wise or personal.
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He can “go with the flow” elsewhere and the only thing I’m gonna “hang out” is my knickers on a washingline.
He’s now a non-entity client wise or personal.
Least he made it clear he was only after free sex with a escort, better that then you finding out down the line and wasted your time emotionaly.
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Least he made it clear he was only after free sex with a escort, better that then you finding out down the line and wasted your time emotionaly.
100%.
I’ve noticed he also has a new feedback off someone else like a day or two after our date. This was after he was told Sex isn’t on the cards if I’m not with the person, and him claiming how he loves hanging out with me and is happy with just that. Gross.
Either way, good it happened and well rid. I mean imagine getting emotionally entangled and sleeping with him for free because you like him, and then discover you’re just a ride & he’s still getting new feedbacks 🤮
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100%.
I’ve noticed he also has a new feedback off someone else like a day or two after our date. This was after he was told Sex isn’t on the cards if I’m not with the person, and him claiming how he loves hanging out with me and is happy with just that. Gross.
Either way, good it happened and well rid. I mean imagine getting emotionally entangled and sleeping with him for free because you like him, and then discover you’re just a ride & he’s still getting new feedbacks 🤮
I know it's disgusting. I dated 2 punters years ago but both wanted a proper relationship and wanted me to meet there friends and family and were genuine feelings not just free shags. The difference with those 2 i could tell they were not men that visited women all the time you just know. One only did it the once and the other guy only ever did it 3 times over a year. The men who are used to seeing women all the time for years you can spot a mile away and those ones would never be for me as those types are always looking for "new fruits" and expect too much off you.
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He can “go with the flow” elsewhere and the only thing I’m gonna “hang out” is my knickers on a washingline.
He’s now a non-entity client wise or personal.
Well said!
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I have a question to ladies who dated their client. When did you disclose your real name?
I decided to risk it and go on a date with a client next week. He basically wants to get to know me and spend some non-sexy time lol
He knows me by my work name, have my work phone number and knows my working story about me. I don't want to be my hoe self there as I would like him to get to know ME. But on the other hand I'm a bit uneasy with the idea of disclosing my true identity. How do you deal with that?
Also, he booked me in a few weeks time for escort meet. I think its his way to say "I'll still pay you as I'm not here for free sex". It reassured me he is genuine but then, if he will know my real name and me, how the hell I'll do this booking. My work and private life was always strictly divided. Now it's getting confused, so am I...
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I really don't see a problem if they know your real name. I've told mine to regular clients I've known a long time and its not been a problem for me.
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After years of being on my own, and I mean, years ... I am now playing the field somewhat ;)
I currently have 3 men in the picture. None of whom know what I do yet. The first one I really liked as I have known him for years and he never made a secret of the fact that he liked me. But that's gone sour as despite not knowing about my job, he wanted me as his personal ATM machine. He works full time btw ::) We've never had sex, either, as he had a breakdown last year and doesn't feel ready for sex yet. Pity he doesn't have the appetite for that as he does my bank balance ::)
The second one he's my postie and also really fit, ha ha. We kissed a year ago today but nothing ever came of it ::) Back then he wasn't long out of a divorce. I went for him whereas the first one came after me, which also hurts more considering the way number 1 has treated me. My postie didn't make a move with me cos he wasn't ready. Fair enough.
And the third guy I met last year through a mutual hobby. He's the guy who has the most going for him without a shadow of any doubt. He's got a good job which he hasn't had that long due to all the training he had to do for it. He also doesn't have any kids which is an absolute BONUS for me :D The first two both have kids. He's also shown himself to be the most reliable which is another huge bonus. And he also doesn't have any lingering exes, doesn't appear to have any at all which seems a bit odd if he's hetrosexual and not asexual. He's also older than me by a few years, too. He must have had a girlfriend at some point though. He's a nice guy if not extremely quiet.
What I want to happen is my liking of number 3 to deepen if he likes me too. I pray to God he likes me and for me to loosen my connection to number 1 cos he has really treated me badly >:( I'll take him to a small claims court if I have to.
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I'm back with my ex who is the father of four of my kids. I'm not sure what my work life. Will. Be like when I do decide to go back but we decided to give it another go. He's the dad of my youngest who is almost 4 months ago. It makes a better environment for all the kids.
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I'm back with my ex who is the father of four of my kids. I'm not sure what my work life. Will. Be like when I do decide to go back but we decided to give it another go. He's the dad of my youngest who is almost 4 months ago. It makes a better environment for all the kids.
Good luck. Is he aware of your job? If yes, what’s his stance on that?
(Sorry if nosey)
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Good luck. Is he aware of your job? If yes, what’s his stance on that?
(Sorry if nosey)
Thank you.
No its OK.
Yes he. Is. We got together when I was 15 and we were together for almomt 20 years. He has always understood and we remained friends after the breakup. And he helped me out during the pandemic, we did our best to work together to look after the kids. And as it happens we sort of drifted back together and decided to give it another go. Which doesn't sound romantic but it just feels right to try again.
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I have a question to ladies who dated their client. When did you disclose your real name?
I decided to risk it and go on a date with a client next week. He basically wants to get to know me and spend some non-sexy time lol
He knows me by my work name, have my work phone number and knows my working story about me. I don't want to be my hoe self there as I would like him to get to know ME. But on the other hand I'm a bit uneasy with the idea of disclosing my true identity. How do you deal with that?
Also, he booked me in a few weeks time for escort meet. I think its his way to say "I'll still pay you as I'm not here for free sex". It reassured me he is genuine but then, if he will know my real name and me, how the hell I'll do this booking. My work and private life was always strictly divided. Now it's getting confused, so am I...
I've recently switched a client to FWB and have told him my real first name, but not my second (which is very unusual).
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I think when men say they wish to go with the flow that is how they usually feel at the beginning. They generally prefer to make the decision themselves as to the pace or development of any relationship.
You never know how it may end up further down the line.
I think if you genuinely really like the guy then you want to keep seeing them.
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He was told clearly that there won’t be any freebies unless it’s a relationship. He was asked whether he is looking for one or is open to have one, and a wishy washy response was received how “his head isn’t in the right place”.
This punter followed up asking to see me “just as friends for now and nothing physical” or offered to continue paying (declined as too awkward for me now). Asked if the days I am off remain the same “for future reference”.
Haven’t heard from him since and it’s been days. He’s busier looking at aw (yes you can see last login of a user)
So I gave up on this one. 🤷♀️
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He was told clearly that there won’t be any freebies unless it’s a relationship. He was asked whether he is looking for one or is open to have one, and a wishy washy response was received how “his head isn’t in the right place”.
This punter followed up asking to see me “just as friends for now and nothing physical” or offered to continue paying (declined as too awkward for me now). Asked if the days I am off remain the same “for future reference”.
Haven’t heard from him since and it’s been days. He’s busier looking at aw (yes you can see last login of a user)
So I gave up on this one. 🤷♀️
This is the hardest part for me. When to switch paying into free sex. I went on a one date with a client. We went along very well. I don't know when the next date will be. He also booked me for next week when I'll tour London. And now It's a bit weird for me to take money from him but on the other hand waiting with sex till a relationship will take ages. And what's the point if we already met few times (on the bookings).
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I did message on this thread before about being in a relationship and it had been the first I had been in properly since starting sw. We ended up breaking up but I can honestly say it was unrelated to my work but now I have split I find myself working more and I am generally more organised and focused. I think a relationship while escorting is more than possible but you need to be able to have really good time management and openness in regards to seeing that person.
Understanding is also a big thing as well, I work long hours and most evenings I'm not really available. When I used to get home I used to say to the ex 'I don't really want to see another cock today :o' so hugs were readily on tap thankfully :D
I think in reality its good to be realistic about what you want in a relationship and I also would say that finding someone else who also works for themselves helps because I sometimes felt like I was single half the time because I would do a lot on my own during my free time.
In conclusion, relationships require work and openness for them to be successful and being in a relationship while escorting is going to add strain but its not to do with the job itself/stigma, I found it was about my focus running a business and still offering my time at times that not many people can socialise that maybe made it more difficult in the long run.
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Just had a 3 month relationship with an ex-client, we split up for reasons other than work, but work was definitely an issue for him so it wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway. Unfortunately I stopped working for 2 of those months so am skint, but now back to work and think I wouldn't bother with a relationship again, there was an elephant in the room all the time. Just my opinion, it clearly works for some people. Love is amazing but the cash in my bank account is what I need more.
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I find free sex feels really tame to me. Also not many men are good in the sack to start with. Then they want to see you more than monthly which is just way too often for me.I
I had a friend who wanted to see somebody two or three times a week. It sounded like prison to me!
An ex reappeared recently and when I told him I could only meet monthly he didn't think much of that so has stopped contacting.
Why are these men so needy and demanding I would get bored super fast seeing a bloke that often!
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I find free sex feels really tame to me. Also not many men are good in the sack to start with. Then they want to see you more than monthly which is just way too often for me.I
I had a friend who wanted to see somebody two or three times a week. It sounded like prison to me!
An ex reappeared recently and when I told him I could only meet monthly he didn't think much of that so has stopped contacting.
Why are these men so needy and demanding I would get bored super fast seeing a bloke that often!
Ha, that's quite funny, as I've converted a client into a FWB, and am very happy seeing him once a week!
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I find free sex feels really tame to me. Also not many men are good in the sack to start with. Then they want to see you more than monthly which is just way too often for me.I
I had a friend who wanted to see somebody two or three times a week. It sounded like prison to me!
An ex reappeared recently and when I told him I could only meet monthly he didn't think much of that so has stopped contacting.
Why are these men so needy and demanding I would get bored super fast seeing a bloke that often!
God I wish I was like this!
I just been through he mincer with another guy who pretended to be OK with my work at the beginning only to start treating me like shit and letting me know that was OK because I was a sex worker. Why do I fall for it? Every. Single. Time.
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I couldn't even imagine telling any man I know I work. You're all braver than me.
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I couldn't even imagine telling any man I know I work. You're all braver than me.
Me too unless i met them around sex work i could never tell them. I also would not want them having that power over me if things went wrong which most of the time it does.
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Me too unless i met them around sex work i could never tell them. I also would not want them having that power over me if things went wrong which most of the time it does.
+1
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I couldn't even imagine telling any man I know I work. You're all braver than me.
Agreed. Only 3 guys who aren't clients know I work. One was a fuck buddy, the other my mate's boyfriend, and the last one is a guy I know in the porn industry.
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I need to get better at not telling them. Especially seeing as I am not looking for anything monogamous, I need to get my head past the idea that I owe them the truth.
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I need to get better at not telling them. Especially seeing as I am not looking for anything monogamous, I need to get my head past the idea that I owe them the truth.
+1
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I've been around the block with this one.
I've been in a relationship and escorted in private. I look back with regret. The job meant more to me than he did and how I behaved within the relationship demonstrated that. I held back as I knew ultimately it was a dead end. He didn't deserve to be lied to given that I was putting his sexual health at risk.
I have been in a relationship in which my other half knew. I struggled to trust him as I was always waiting for vengeance. I felt that it lessened our relationship but that was the dynamic in that particular relationship.
I have also been in the other woman with a married man who had been a client. He knew what I did and got very involved. It was nice to be able to be honest with someone and not feel guilty but again, it was always going to be a dead end relationship.
I have left the job for someone I loved the bones of and was honest about my past and he accepted it. He loved my stories.
I have found that I just can't mix the two and be at peace with it within myself. It really is an individual experience.