Oh no no no, no number twos.  I tell them they have to come showered. If they say "What you mean really clean" I put the phone down.

I only ones I let shower beforehand are regulars who are always clean but wants to freshen up.

Admittedly I am at the extreme end. But the plus side for them is I am always smelling of roses.

Sorry rant alert...

So we're all in the position at the minute where most of us are waiting for the self employment grant or worst still living off universal credit or forced ourselves to work as there was no other option or whatever. If escorting was your main job, you are more than likely struggling financially.

I've had some lovely regulars text me asking how i am and to keep safe etc but to my surprise a client text me saying he owns a business and would i be interested in some work to do whilst at home for cash. He'd last booked me in July last year so I couldn't remember him but haven't really seen too many weirdos over the past year so i replied asking what the job was, he replied back asking if he could call at 7pm to explain and for me to go on my pc/laptop and he'll run through the website. My thoughts were either this is genuine as I have an IT degree and maybe in our booking I mentioned it and he just needs my help with his website or he's going to be some indian guy in a call centre making me logon to a dodgy website to put my card details in and steal from me.... but i decided I might as well humour him, it's not like I have anything better to do and the money would come in handy.

Ok so really friendly guy on the phone, then started guiding me how to use a computer, "now open the internet browser and type into the address bar, then paused (waited for me to do it)" I was thinking what the hell, even if I didn't have an IT degree I think I'd know how to do that haha! Humoured him more as this clearly was sales spiel - asked him what to do next...

type www.uw then it appeared UTILITY F%$£!*G WAREHOUSE....!!!

I went ape shit and hung up. How desperate must you be to start contacting the escorts in your phone to build your pyramid scheme empire 

Does anybody have any stupid little things that make them instantly resent a client - even before meeting? Maybe I just hate people, but I have loaddsss!


Before Meeting

1) A client trying to go all dominant with me asking me to call him sir.
2) Client says creepy shit like "Mmm, yum yum! Xx" over text it makes me fucking gag
3) Client overmessages or expects instant replies.
4) Client calls me, I reject it, then he instantly calls again. IF I WANTED TO TALK DIPSHIT I WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THE FIRST TIME
5) Client goes on about how big he is. Couldn't give a shit love. I hate you.

In Person

6) Client doesnt say a word before stripping off
7) Client dodges when I try to kiss him? Nahhhh so disrespectful
Client touches my pussy. Please no get your dirty fingers away from me
9) Client walks in and instantly asks if I have any other girls working with me that he can see instead.
10) Client asks for moneyback if he cums early. Fuck off.

What about youuu?

Rare for me but does anyone ever have those god awful clients who are incapable of opening a door. 

Ugh I had one of them the other day, I was watching him on camera telling him to push the door and he was giving it stupid light little taps like he thought it was going to open by itself for him, all while looking as guilty as if he had just done a dump in the street 

I’ve realised today something that bothers me about a couple of clients I have, today I saw someone new, he asked for ow which is rare I only have two other clients who prefer oral with, he didn’t want to Kiss or touch me in a sexual way, I got the feeling that he didn’t want to do any of that because I’m an escort, when he was done it was like he wanted to get out fast as he could, hardly spoke or looked at me. He’s txt me asking when I’m next working as he wants to see me again (I won’t see him as he made me feel like I was beneath him) this goes to my other clients who act the same (not wanting to kiss, touch me or give oral) why book a escort if you think we’re dirty? I’ve not really realised that it bothered me until today, am I being sensitive or anyone feel like that?

I also fucking hate anyone asking for a discount or haggling for a lower price. It just isn’t going to happen so stop fucking annoying me. What I can’t understand for the life of me is there’s plenty of escorts who charge less than I do. “Because I want to see you” well here we are back to square one then if you want to fucking see me it’s at my price and not yours. If you want a lower price go to a different girl I literally have no time for your fucking bullshit. God I hate some people. Lol 

Ask for a shower before a 15 min booking. Just me or is that unreasonable?