"He grumpily gets in the shower 🧼& I can hear him muttering imprecations (lol). But he sure didn’t smell smoky when he got out!
Dumbass."

LOL!!!

@Phoenix I don’t understand the ones who simply wash their hands when asked to freshen up or the ones who actually get in the shower but decide not to use soap. Surely it’s easier if you actually just showered and I didn’t have to send you back but noooo   

Oh I love these idiots. 'What time does my time start? After I;m out the shower?' NOOO

i don’t see any problem giving them five mins before and after to shower and get their shit together before they leave. I can understand why clients would be put off that it’s in the time to be fair, I would be the other way round. Unless you’re operating like a one in one out ‘convertor belt’ type then I don’t see the issue? And it makes them more likely to actually clean!

It’s like before and after a massage at a spa, most of the time you’re given time to relax before and after, get undressed/dressed. Have some water etc etc

There is a fetish for spitting in your mouth whilst kissing you. Even the thought of it makes me retch. A client asked if he could re-enact some spitting he saw in porn  I said, 'fine...£50 extra,' he was shocked it was not inclusive. But if he wanted a porn star experience with me spitting everywhere, he should be paying porn star prices.

It's a no from me. Not for any amount of money. Not only because it's gross and unhygienic but also because it doesn't do anything for me.
And I have some unhappy memories regarding that too so... Nope.

I had 1 in New Hampshire last week come in smelling like he’d just walked out of a medical marijuana clinic😡. That’s a migraine trigger for me & I said, yeahhhh, this ain’t happening. You need to get in the shower 🚿& scrub that smell OFF you, NOW.
He says, “Do you want me to come back?”

I wasn’t paying attention bc I’m now having an anxiety attack: my bed’s going to stink of weed, I have another client directly after him, & is this going to cause a migraine? I’m busily spritzing Febreze (unscented) around the room & he again says, “Do you want me to come back?”

I’m sorry to say I snapped. I turned to him & thru clenched teeth replied,
“I. Want. You. Not. To. Smell. Like. Marijuana. What is coming back going to do for ME? I have a busy day, SIR (god help you if I’m calling you sir). The least you could’ve done is check to see if it was ok with me. Nowhere on my site does it say I’m 420 friendly.”

He grumpily gets in the shower 🧼& I can hear him muttering imprecations (lol). But he sure didn’t smell smoky when he got out!
Dumbass.

That's awful. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you were ok afterwards.
People are so selfish and unaware at times, it's baffling.

I tend to ask clients to shower beforehand anyway, but especially if they are pungent. Once a punter arrived and smelt as if he had bathed in aftershave. Also, it was an aftershave that someone from my teenage years wore, a bf who was abusive. So it set me off a bit.

It's a no from me. Not for any amount of money. Not only because it's gross and unhygienic but also because it doesn't do anything for me.
And I have some unhappy memories regarding that too so... Nope.

There is no amount of money,  I am sick enough of being asked about squirting because they think porn is real life. 

Seem promising in their first message until the very end. Had some clown message me asking for a sub booking. He was well spoken, respectful and polite and referenced parts of my profile so it was obvious he had actually read it. All good and well until the closing statements of if I agree to the booking he can't afford more than x per hour. I charge more for sub bookings and x was less than what I charge for GFE! He referenced parts of my profile that are right above the prices for this type of booking, selective reading at it's finest.  Also shot himself in the foot with "Check my feedback" Instant turn off. 

I haven’t had the religious view thing but definitely the patronising and condescending “why are you doing this? you’re such a nice girl, you’ll become jaded” 

I still love men it’s just the stupid ones I despise and tbh this job has made it so much easier to spot them 

Ah yes the great unwashed they just make you want to quit the job on the spot.

I always interrogate them on their hygiene before I let them come.

It annoys my when they want to wash their dick in the sink afterwards. Make a mess everywhere and think you are like a wife and will clean it up.  They are not married nobody would marry them.

When I suspect this I will tell them they can wash it in the shower and then turn it on for them to stand under and they are not allowed to touch the shower head or shove it in their crotch.