Aaaaagh!! I hate when I say to a client.. 'Please give me 3 minutes, then ring the buzzer' But they ring it straight away!

Clients who just stand at the door for ages, without ringing the buzzer. Until you call them and they tell you they are outside. Just ring the buzzer!

When I say, call to confirm. And they text. If I'm waiting for a call, I might not hear the text!

Regular Clients that email me on aw, and wait days for a response when they could simply just call me! 

Online messages saying "are you available now?" I suspect they send these multiple escorts and then go see whoever responds quickest. Luckily I'm busy enough that I can afford not to sit in front of my computer 24/7 waiting for these.

Guys who expect me to book a hotel when my profile clearly states I do outcalls only!

I dont give them my flat number till I'm ready and waiting with my shoes on, at the window and watching through the crack in the blinds for them to come along the street. Then and only then do I send the text with my building and my flat number. Been through all this turning up when they feel like it malarky in the past. Even if its a regular I tell them to wait in their car till I text them "okay come now". Its in their best interest too, especially with the weather turning, to be warm and dry in their car x

What annoys the hell out of me is when they walk past the door twice then stand right outside it and shout into the phone "IM OUTSIDE A BUILDING, NEXT TO A SHOP CALLED &******&, IS THIS IT, I THINK IT IS" and for that reason I dont bother answering once I have sent the text. They can ring and ring and ring, I just cut them off and say "thats it to the right or the door directly behind you" etc

Another one is when they can't follow the instructions all the other guys manage to follow very easily and they text back saying "are you sure" Its so hard not to text them back with "no, I dont have a clue where I am, for the last 3 months I have no idea how i ended up in the same place every day?where am I, please help, save me, I'm lost"

And when they catch your nipple with their teeth then they keep doing it they say "sorry, didnt mean too, over exited" and if you keep telling them they look at you as if you are making it up. I end up just telling them that intention doesnt dictate how much it hurts and if they do it again?no boobies

Breath 

I feel your pain! I also get this, guys asking for watersports then acting like they never, I think we should just piss all over them regardless, that'll teach em!! 

Skid marks left on my bedding at the end of the session when I haven't even played near there!
Bleugh goes to show dirty some are and the bedding needs to be washed twice!!!
Yuk

Oh my gawd turtle head! Pass me the bucket. Seriously though these clients know they're going to get intimate, go to the toilet before meeting and when showering please wash that area!