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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2706758 times)

Snow Whitest

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14355 on: 06 April 2021, 09:32:57 pm »
CelesteManchester I know right? I'm thinking of maybe collating them all into a book. A non-fiction obvs although I don't think ppl would believe that it was all true  ;D ;D
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

Snow Whitest

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14356 on: 06 April 2021, 09:45:41 pm »
This one came via that bloody McCoy's site

Him: Hi. Wonder if Grace in *previous address* is avail?
Me: Oh dear you've come via McCoy's haven't you?
Him: Yes
Me: A website that steals content and writes absolute nonsense. I'm not at that address anymore, I'm not in my 50s and if you want pictures try visiting my actual profile on Adultwork
Him: Oh sorry. How do I find that?
Me: uhm, Well maybe try Google (fucking seriously)
Him: 30 or 60mins plz, where r u then?
Me (trying not to lose my shit) Yep that's not entirely helpful. A half hour OR an hour?
Him: On AW what's your profile name?
Me (Again biting my tongue) *Name*
Him: Got it. Excellent
Me (again Jesus wept): So. How long and when were you thinking of? Obviously this is your first time
Him: 30 mins for a first visit sometime this week
Me (whilst punching myself in the face) Right so I can't confirm anything without an actual day and time
Him: I'll let you know
Me: Yes, of course you will

 :FF :FF :FF :FF
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14357 on: 07 April 2021, 08:01:30 am »
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 09:45:41 pm
Him: 30 mins for a first visit sometime this week
Me (whilst punching myself in the face) Right so I can't confirm anything without an actual day and time
Him: I'll let you know
Me: Yes, of course you will
Haha!
And in no way is it insulting of him to imply that he will be testing / auditioning you during his (obviously-never-to-happen) booking - "30 mins for a first visit"...
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Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14358 on: 07 April 2021, 08:02:11 am »
Quote from: CelesteManchester on 06 April 2021, 08:47:33 pm
Snowy, you get the oddest shit....🤦🏼‍♀️
Haha!
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Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14359 on: 07 April 2021, 08:05:40 am »
Quote from: Snow Whitest on 06 April 2021, 09:32:57 pm
CelesteManchester I know right? I'm thinking of maybe collating them all into a book. A non-fiction obvs although I don't think ppl would believe that it was all true  ;D ;D
Honestly, SW, this thread would make millions as an alternative everyman's joke-book, haha!
« Last Edit: 07 April 2021, 09:00:44 am by Braziliana »
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English Green

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14360 on: 07 April 2021, 12:07:59 pm »
This thread shows we get the absolute worst type of men contacting us with the worst type of conversations or lack of should i say.

Could you imagine a plumber or a landscape gardener getting these most ridiculous texts
"Hi"
"Where are you"
" you around"
"You free"
" you look nice"
" nice pair of plungers"
" you up for it"

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Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14361 on: 07 April 2021, 12:26:55 pm »
Quote from: English Green on 07 April 2021, 12:07:59 pm
This thread shows we get the absolute worst type of men contacting us with the worst type of conversations or lack of should i say.

Could you imagine a plumber or a landscape gardener getting these most ridiculous texts
"Hi"
"Where are you"
" you around"
"You free"
" you look nice"
" nice pair of plungers"
" you up for it"
Haha!
Well said, EG!  ;D
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Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14362 on: 10 April 2021, 11:54:51 am »

"do u fart"


That was it! No "hi" or "thanks" etc.
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sera_fin

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14363 on: 10 April 2021, 06:52:49 pm »
Him:

'Babe😘 do you do outcalls to Heathrow?? I am there tomorrow xxx'


I don't know who babe&128536 is.

 ???
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'The whores hustle and the hustlers whore' PJH

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14364 on: 11 April 2021, 11:30:40 am »
Quote from: sera_fin on 10 April 2021, 06:52:49 pm
Him:

'Babe😘 do you do outcalls to Heathrow?? I am there tomorrow xxx'


I don't know who babe&128536 is.

 ???

It is the code for an emoji that couldn't be read by your phone. It's the blowing kiss with heart one.

😘 <<< if that comes through for you. If not, just google the entire code &#128536;
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sera_fin

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14365 on: 11 April 2021, 11:33:53 am »
Another gem received this morning

Hi sexy

Hope you're doing we'll.

I really like your profile.
WOW Very nice pictures , you look stunning babe can't stop wanking over your pictures. Mmmmmm

Let's meet for our first naughty sex session. Can't wait to lick and eat your sweet pussy , smack your lovely arse , suck your juicy tits and and fuck you balls deep. Mmmm

I would like to meet you for regular naughty 1 hr naughty sessions.

Let's arrange our first session .

Do you have contact number sexy babe ?

You are very very sexy babe mmmmmm

This gives me the dry boak. Yuck. All the nopes.
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'The whores hustle and the hustlers whore' PJH

sera_fin

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14366 on: 11 April 2021, 11:35:00 am »
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 11 April 2021, 11:30:40 am
It is the code for an emoji that couldn't be read by your phone. It's the blowing kiss with heart one.

😘 <<< if that comes through for you. If not, just google the entire code &#128536;

Ahhhh. I am a luddite.

Thank your for the clarification!

&#128536

right back atcha!

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'The whores hustle and the hustlers whore' PJH

Nadya

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14367 on: 11 April 2021, 01:17:37 pm »
Quote from: sera_fin on 11 April 2021, 11:33:53 am
Another gem received this morning

Hi sexy

Hope you're doing we'll.

I really like your profile.
WOW Very nice pictures , you look stunning babe can't stop wanking over your pictures. Mmmmmm

Let's meet for our first naughty sex session. Can't wait to lick and eat your sweet pussy , smack your lovely arse , suck your juicy tits and and fuck you balls deep. Mmmm

I would like to meet you for regular naughty 1 hr naughty sessions.

Let's arrange our first session .

Do you have contact number sexy babe ?

You are very very sexy babe mmmmmm

This gives me the dry boak. Yuck. All the nopes.

I came in here to complain about it too. You can tell it was a copy and paste message from the bowels of hell. SO gross...almost deleted it but am tempted to write him some asshole reply instead though that might be exactly what he wants, attention.
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Snow Whitest

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14368 on: 11 April 2021, 09:02:40 pm »
I actually got my shit together on a Sunday afternoon (I know) for this one.. I've just realised I've got previous messages from him *face palm* that's my bad

Him: Alright gorgeous are you around today?
Me: Hello, I'm not sure. Did you have a time in mind? How long?
Him: Whenever really, was thinking half hour or an hour?
Me: Sorry bit vague? Can't confirm unless you have more concrete details
Him: 6pm for half hour?
Me: Can do 7pm?
Him: Ok, perfect
Me: Where are you coming from?
Him: (My town) what's the post code?
Me: I don't give out my post code. Can you text at 6pm sharp to confirm and I'll send car park details. Ok?
Him: Ok no worries, what area roughly?
Me: Why? If you're in my town you're not an hour away so?
Him: Ok no problem

6pm comes and SHOCKER no confirmation

Me: Right as you haven't confirmed or supplied any reason for cancelling, your booking is cancelled and you're blocked. Don't contact me again. Thanks :)
Him (at 6.26pm) Wow Actually being serious?
Me: You were given instructions you chose not to follow? This is my business and I potentially lost other appointments as you failed to confirm. One strike and you're out :)
Him: Ok fine no worries
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”

Snow Whitest

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #14369 on: 11 April 2021, 09:06:49 pm »
OMG sera_fin I had the exact same email yesterday. Was sick in my mouth tbh and he was blocked immediately!
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.” Sigmund Freud”
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