What is it with these guys..??!!  They're trying to book for ages, finally got time, arrange a time, they're all up for it, and then just disappear, stop all communication, pooff, 
Then there's the ones that phone (a few times), can I book for such and such a time, yes no probs, ok, could you wear this and that,
yes no probs, ok see you then!
2 mins later, a text; "Oh, I didn't realise the time, sorry, I have to cancel". 
Yeah right.. Weirdo's!

Post sex fingering :/

When they faff around outside my incall place, my first client today pulled up in a car that had the loudest engine ever, then rang for the door number from outside the car, I waited to let him in and he was looking in his car boot for ages and then in his glove compartment in his car,

Finally he came in, booking done, quick shower and then spent 10 minutes drying himself, then whilst I was seeing him out he said "Thanks, I really enjoyed that" REALLY LOUDLY in the front garden! The street I work in is very quiet, then he sat in his very loud car with the engine running for ages doing god knows what.

Urgh kissing. I find this the worst part of the job! Give me a dick to suck any day and I can just switch off! Just had one punter insist on passionately kissing me for a full hour, like I was the love of his life. I'd never stop anyone doing this but it just makes me feel so uncomfortable!  I didn't even fancy him let alone want to kiss him like he was Ryan Gosling for 60 mins

Lol, that's exactly it! It's way to intimate. I don't mind a little at the beginning but all the cheeky little lingering kisses and staring into my eyes.... Urgh please mate! STOP!

When they faff around outside my incall place, my first client today pulled up in a car that had the loudest engine ever, then rang for the door number from outside the car, I waited to let him in and he was looking in his car boot for ages and then in his glove compartment in his car,

Finally he came in, booking done, quick shower and then spent 10 minutes drying himself, then whilst I was seeing him out he said "Thanks, I really enjoyed that" REALLY LOUDLY in the front garden! The street I work in is very quiet, then he sat in his very loud car with the engine running for ages doing god knows what.

OMG !  They have no sense at all!  Similar thing is the ones that are walking and lost with my simplest of simple idiot proof instructions yet the stroll up and down my street shouting my name and number out loud whilst I talk to them on the phone!  DUH!!!!!!

Or stand on my doorstep for ages grinning like cheshire cats before they come in....- some I've been known to literally pull in by the collar LOL

Phones up, can I have a booking?

I'm fully booked but have you seen me before?

No, not me there must be some mistake.

I'm sure you've visited me before. Aren't you the guy who visited me on particular specific day, when the weather was extreme, and who has ever since let me down to the point where I said I couldn't see you in future without a deposit.

Oh yes, I remember now.

 

Some of them even put fingers in my ears.

Seriously - you can stick your tongue and fingers in my vagina. You can stick them in my arse. Why must you stick them in my ears? Can I have just one tiny piece of me that you don't stick things in? Just the one?

THIS