Or when told you that " I m here ' and after all gave, tell you will be in 10 min.

If there's one thing this job has shown me it's how many men are just walking through daily life with dirty bumholes.

Yep this happens a lot. Sometimes there dick is washed and clean but they just don't bother washing anywhere near the arse and it is so so horrid. It can really pollute the air.

Mess you around and then try to book again.

A while ago I had a reg make a booking and on the day ask to change the time... at least 5 times within 2 hours! Back and forth between half past and on the hour. He'd never messed around before and I had been seeing him every couple of weeks for 3/4 years, so I assumed he was at work or his schedule kept changing etc and was agreeable. Then 15 minutes before he was due to arrive texts to say he will be 20 minutes late. (I think that annoyed me most, the just telling me and not asking if it was okay.) No can do, I had another client booked by then. I told him I could see him but he would have to wait, which he agreed to. See him after the other client, no issues in the booking, seem to move on.

A few weeks after he makes a booking and then never shows up at the time of booking. No confirmation or communication, despite stating he would definitely confirm by x time due to the mess around last time. I don't hear anything for about 6 months and then get a text asking for a booking. Did he think I would have forgotten that he took the piss if he waited a while? He can sod right off, he's no longer welcome.

My biggest pet peeve at the moment is the prospective clients who ask a question then apparently throw their phone into the nearest body of water, never to be retrieved...

That's really odd - I've had loads of these just this last couple of days including three today!

All of them sounded fine or I wouldn't have replied - I thought I must sound like a mardy twat when replying but I haven't sent anything I don't normally. I just assumed their Plan A must have got back to them after all.

When  a client wants to put in and he's not even hard and expects you to keep him inside. Knowing they wouldn't be able to perform as they had a warm up at home  or in the car before arriving.

My biggest pet peeve at the moment is the prospective clients who ask a question then apparently throw their phone into the nearest body of water, never to be retrieved...

Him: "Hi, are you available today?"
Me: "Sure, what sort of time and how long would you like?"
Him: Apparently gets eaten by a bear and is never heard from again

This is happening with messages that include my name, specific service requests and references to my profile and pics so it doesn't seem like a case of mass messaging, and I respond within minutes or not at all (in case they're not alone later)

 they read my reply the vanish into the ether... just why???

I'm getting a lot of this too lately. Guys sending emails with specific days and times, I reply and then see that they haven't even read the reply until after the time they were asking for a booking or just disappear when they've read it.
My other major peeve at the min is the amount of texts and emails I get from new guys when I clearly state I want them to call me, then so many of them just disappear when I remind them that's what is required..
Why are they suddenly so shy?? I already have their number when they've texted me so it can't be a discretion issue.

Quite a few tell me they are with their partner, friends or at work. Problem is if I've asked them this I am either driving cannot type but can accept a phone call, or they will not read the information text I send containing links answering all their questions.

However these are mainly not clients they are at the enquiry stage.

Yes I get " Can't call I'm at work" etc but they aren't at work 24/7 so why don't they call when on a break or finished work.  Just seems like they don't want to actually speak on the phone. Weird

I’ve had a couple recently that go something like this

Client - I can make it for 5pm
Me- I have 5 pm available or even 4:30 if you can make it sooner
Client - Let’s keep it as 5pm so you have a chance to freshen up and shower before you see me

If I’m offering you 4:30 it’s because I know I can be READY and AVAILABLE in the same way I’m fresh for my first client or be my 7th client of the day. It’s just the patronising tone for me and trying to manage my time for me and making stupid assumptions. Honestly sometimes I find it hard not to bite my tongue with these men trying to do me a ‘favour’ or telling me how to do my own job