They just don't realise it takes time to get ready and prepare ourselves.
When I tell them this some say I don't mind if you have no make up on and no sexy underwear.

Maybe he thinks you wouldn't take the booking.
I much rather they are up front about stuff like that.

I met a couple of new clients over the past week as well as some trusty old regs who may be not be very exciting after several years but are the bread and butter reliable ones.

One of the newbies was on a bragfest, it was like he had to cram in as many boasts of his swinging days as he could and while some of his stories were quite funny I was thinking if he does not shut up soon he will get very little service for his time.  Have you ever laid there slowly wanking him or sucking him and he is all the while jabbering on about crap? It is as if they forget for a while exactly why they have paid you!

The other newbie was ok but kept asking if I will meet him for drinks and just "casual and all done in public in some nice bar in town" ?? My mind boggled. I just smiled and said I will think about it but I know he meant unpaid social meeting and I do not do that.  Am half waiting for his invitation by text now, which will be politely declined.

I have had this today! Although it was after he'd cum, so at least that was one thing. Long stories (probably mostly bullshit) about how many women he's shagged, all the fights (sorry, "rumbles") he's been in, and that time he twatted his ex's brother because he was slagging off his ex's mum.

He was about 5'3 and still lives with his mum. Save it for Jeremy Kyle mate.

Small men sometimes have giant imaginations and not always in a good way. 

I find small guys have small guy syndrome like they have to prove something to us and often demeaning like a power trip. Don't like them.

When they moooooaaaaaannnn !!!!!

I had one client this week, an otherwise nice perfectly clean decent looking older gent. We get naked and he starts with that dramatic moaaaaning act. Just not the good day as I had a really bad migraine. He spent over 30 min moaning straight into my ears. Awful. Just awful.

That other guy I saw twice and will not see again no matter what just because of his fucking MOANING act. I know people can moan in bed but in this particular case it's an act, you can say it's not natural. Might be he saw it in some lame porn and it's his freaking idea of sensual and passionate love making. The twat lays there on my bed letting me ride him (well yes of course!) while he keeps his eyes closed, moans, growls, bites his lips, throws his head back and theatrically stretches his arms above his head to grab the pillows in spasms of pure pleasure. To sum it up: imagine a big fat cat having seizures / epilepsy attack. Wait, don't, it's insulting for cats:)

Shit now I have flashbacks. Ewwww

At the end, after taking forever to dress, deciding to show me photos of their kids/holiday/motorcycle/whatever on their phone.

I'm smiling politely but inside screaming I DON'T GIVE A FUCK GET OUT!

Horrible, slobbery reverse oral, where you can feel their saliva running down your arse crack, up your bum and soaking the bed. HATE IT!