Complete stranger wanting to book: "So I see you do roleplay and I have an idea about what I'd like"

Me : "Assuming you've read the type I do on my profile, which are you wanting?"

Complete stranger: " It's not one you've got on there but what I'd like is for me to come into your hotel room as if I'm a workman needing to fix something. You need to go down to Reception for something and leave me alone in your room for a few minutes. When you come back you catch me going through your underwear and sniffing it"

Me: "Yes sure, I'll give you maybe 5 minutes? Should be long enough to find my cash, phone, car keys and laptop shouldn't it?"  :

"fancy a pint later" from a complete random.

I like to think someone gave them a sex workers number off the internet instead of their own. 

I have a better idea Dandelion! How about you tie yourself up, along with blindfolding yourself, & just let him come in the room that way? That’s a much better plan! 🙄🙄

Christ on a SIDECAR.🪓

When they text you. ' Hello. I saw your advert.'. Nothing else!

When the texts you get are:
“Sex??” (That was it. Followed by “!!!” When I failed to get the hint)
“Where can I get cocaine from?” ( Like I would know!)
“Can I watch another guy service you?” (Service makes me think of animals for some reason)

"Hi, I am new to the area and hoping to find a girl to see on a weekly basis. Would you give me a half-price special for my first booking, then we can discuss our long term arrangement?"

Urrm no comment 🤐😂

I’ve gotten the same thing & I replied I was happy to. What he’d need to do is pay 3 months upfront for whatever amount of visits he’d like & we’d be good to go!

Much outrage ensued😁.

I actually had one this week who thought "Oi oi!" was an acceptable opening for a booking. Like wtaf?

Offer a £1000 painting, a mobile worth £600 and a telly in lieu of a £40 hand job.

Thankfully my friend ain't stupid