"I have ?40 for you if your available right now."

Sure let me drop whatever the fuck I'm doing rush to get ready all for a price that's below anything I offer.

Someone trying to book for tomorrow actually askes if we would be having sex in a booking..as opposed to what play kerplunk?!?I asked him if he had read my advert and he said yes..so not really any reason to be confused that I am a prostitute and he is paying for a shag..he then 'suddenly' noticed that I don't see under 25's and of course I cancelled.

I loved Kerplunk! Imagine if someone did want to play that during a booking 

Is it just me or are all the virgins coming out of the woodwork?I must have had 3 emails this week alone from supposed virgins wanting a booking.They all seem to have fetishes and very high expectations for their first ever time with a woman let alone their first ever time with an escort...all have fetishes and want x,y and z to happen in their booking.Turned all but one down and to be honest I'm not 100% about him.
I really don't like meeting with 90% of these virgins as they seem to want to ask 20 bloody silly questions leading up to the booking process such as 'Shall I bring toys?'..hmmm yeah it's your first time and you not only think you will be using toys but you are going to bring some?!? and want long bookings that you know will be usually pretty awkward for whatever reason,they always seem to want the moon on the stick during the booking process and then generally sit there terrified and don't even know what half the things they were after even are or if they actually will like it in practice or they loay there like a sack of spuds expecting you to do everything.
 I've taken a few cherries in my working life and the ones that just want to have a normal gfe for an hour are fine,it's the ones that have wanked off to to much porn that are hard work or the ones that think it will be all romantic but in practice of course it isn't because I'm not their actual girlfriend.Does anyone else get these?

An outcall to Uruguay    So no wgs in that part of the world then?  I sometimes wonder if any women with sense actually say yes to these bookings (which don't exist of course!!!)

I presume this chap contacted quite a few of us subs,

I liked the way you came across on your profile, and physically, you're very much my type. I also have quite the penchant for older submissive women. Currently, I'm looking for a sub whose company I enjoy, whom I can make use of on an ongoing basis, and who appreciates the company of a younger dominant man that takes control, knows what he wants, and who gets off on putting women firmly in their place.
Physically, I'm 41yrs old, 6ft tall, have dark hair/eyes, a stocky build, and am strong, hairy, and masculine. I noticed that we share a good number of fetishes, so seeing as you've caught my interest, it'd be good to hear back from you. And I'd much rather get to know you better over a drink than over a keyboard, so if that appeals, then all the better
Finally, I'm not a punter, so meeting up would be strictly on a no-fees basis both ways. I want someone for personal use as opposed to client based, so with that said, if I catch your interest, get back to me.

Advised him to look at fetlife if he wants a freebie. Also that I have a Dom in my personal life and am collared / owned. He took that to mean that I wasn't 'allowed' to 'service' other Dom's. Advised him as to what he thought I was doing on AW, if indeed I didn't service others along with of course charging them.

Just now:

Him: Where you at?

Me: I definitely won't tell you where I am at, as I don't see any sign of politeness in your text. Have a good day though.

Him: What a joke
You expect me to write an essay! Your delusional!

Last week I got "any appts today?"

I replied "yes thanks I had a few good ones"

Sense of humour transplant needed because he came back with "wot you saying?  want to see you in harf hour"

If he had spelled half correctly I may have met the man, but I declined.

 

Phone call in a really creepy voice which I can only assume is his failed attempt at sounding sexy: "are you free?"

Me having had a particularly good day and now finished till my next tour: "no darling I am apparently quite expensive"

Having been in this lark for nearly 10 years it was the basic creepiness factor that was worse than the surly content more than anything, which was off-putting.