Author Topic: Boyfriend (Read 4341 times)

Ieaio · « **on:** 13 July 2013, 12:56:43 pm »

Deleted

crystaldenison · « **Reply #1 on:** 13 July 2013, 01:01:43 pm »

Tell him to get a job or move out then it's his choice

roseanna · « **Reply #2 on:** 13 July 2013, 01:28:59 pm »

It sounds as though you do more than enough. I have been through this and I realised that I wasn't even enjoying the sex with him as much as I was with many of the clients, and the stark reality was that there was no other possible benefit to staying with him. Everything became a chore and I eventually solved it by moving away to a different area. It was very hard and very emotional, but had to do it. Took much longer than I should have. I should think ahead a little if I were you. Unless you can see improvement, which it doesn't sound like, think about your exit strategy, and how he will react when he realises you're not going to provide for him for the rest of his life.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you need to consider the worst case senario and not allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed and be a meal ticket instead of a true partner.

lailah terri · « **Reply #3 on:** 13 July 2013, 01:37:32 pm »

Is he doing anything? Studying, keeping the house etc?

Ami · « **Reply #4 on:** 13 July 2013, 02:32:10 pm »

I suppose if he looks after the kids and he cleans the house and makes all the meals etc then he should have a share. If not give him the boot, you've created this monster and he won't change. Good luck! xx

Grumpy Cow · « **Reply #5 on:** 13 July 2013, 03:05:37 pm »

He doesn't work, at all and expects a cut and his entire life financed?? Sorry to put it so bluntly but he has turned into your pimp!

No one can tell you to dump him. Gawd knows how co-dependent we can get at some time and how hard it is to use your head and not your heart but you need to step back. By posting this here, I reckon deep down you realised that this cannot go on like this. If you just took care of yourself, you could probably save a lot of money, perhaps even have something to fall back to like capital to invest in a new more successful venture. Good luck xx

ParisB · « **Reply #6 on:** 13 July 2013, 03:19:10 pm »

I have only one word for a guy like this and thats a cock lodger or you could say pimp i suppose if you wanted to be more realistic but whatever he is on to a bloody good thing i wish that someone would be nice or stupid enough to give me an allowance and pay for everything for me while i sat at home and played on the xbox ( I'm assuming that he is a bit of a gamer or internet addict )

I mean it wouldn't be that bad if he was maybe signing on or at uni studying but even then i would balk at supporting another fully functioning human being

if you want to put things into perspecitive then simply think of how many cocks you have to suck and guys you have to fuck in order to support this guy

think about 1 cock sucked and fucked his his food bill
another cock sucked & fucked is his rent paid
5 cocks sucked & fucked is his share of the holiday
not sure of your prices but cant really think of how many you might do for ?100 maybe half a cock sucked & fucked

but you get the drift

then think about how long you have been supporting him and how many client you have to see to support him and then you can decide if you would rather have that cash or carrying on supporting him

He is emotionally and financially abusing you and will carry on until you can no longer take it any more
( if you don't understand what i mean emotional abuse then just google the words. There are many excellent book on this form of abuse Abuse doesn't always have to be physical it comes in many forms and sizes

Taylor · « **Reply #7 on:** 13 July 2013, 03:31:24 pm »

Please please please get rid of him.

i was in a similar situation, however my partner did have a job but i some how was the one paying for general living, holidays rent etc. he used me from day one, he also owes me several thousand of pounds which i am struggling to retrieve i don't think i will ever see that money again, its dragged on for so long made me ill but i am finally accepting it all.
x

meetingdiversity · « **Reply #8 on:** 13 July 2013, 04:08:35 pm »

Quote from: rhonasg on 13 July 2013, 12:56:43 pm

It really makes me resent him. I mean, i work minimal hours but i do earn it for crying out loud. I kind of feel i have to respect his wishes though because when i originally went into this job we talked it through and at first he was furious but i had to lay it out straight to him that i was in debt due to a failed business venture and no way was i selling my mind for minimal pay aka 9 - 5 job. So we set out ground rules and i gave him a bit of intensive because there was no getting him round to him but i guess if you've never experience the sex industry perhaps it is a disgusting suggestion. However now of course he realizes it's just a job, and a good one at that. I am much happier, he is much happier.

However, i pay all the bills, rent, food. I pay for his life and it feels like i am looking after a child and then after all that he gets a ?100 allowence O.o. I even pay for big things like for him to go on holiday with me. He wont get a job because of the same reason i wont get a 9 - 5 job so i can't force him to because that would be hypercritical. He has said that if he was a female he'd become an escort too but of course that's not use XD.

He has became so dependent on me and i have let him, originally thinking it would be a good idea. If anything i want to leave him but even with all the resentment i do love him plus his mum died recently so if i kicked him out i'd feel terrible, he'd be literally on the streets. All the 5 years i have known him though, he has never had a job, and i have always made such effort to make a good earning. I guess you could say cut him off but then what would that mean for my job as an escort? I like this job, it's beneficial to say the least XD.

Give him two choices:

1. To fund half of the bills

2. To fend for himself moving out.

If the tenancy is solely mine. I would kick him out but make sure you change the locks. You see this is what people are like who don't earn. They view people as money pots. I will never get with a bf who is earning peanuts. Not because of discrimination, just because those with less money. Look for others with and use their head. Well they try to with me failing.

Dani · « **Reply #9 on:** 13 July 2013, 04:27:49 pm »

Does he do all the house work and cooking etc? If so then you just have role reversal. Many women do this. They get a partner and then don't work as the partner supports them financially. No one ever kicks up a fuss about that. However if he is not doing anything at all and is not acting like a house husband and expects you to come home and cook and clean then he is just a pimp.

If he does the first then he is just doing what women have done forever and what many men are now doing as the woman can earn more. However it does not sound like you have kids so he has no excuse to not work. If he is the first type of man, explain you are starting to resent him not earning money and feel you are emasculating him and you are losing respect for him and he needs to get a job even if it is only as KFC or McDonalds.

If he is the second type of man then there is no point explaining anything. He knows what he is doing and now thinks you are obliged to support him as he LETS you do the job you do. Therefor he is a PIMP and not even a good one as doesn't get you work. In this situation you either have to put up with it or you have to be drastic and tell him to either get a job and support himself financially and pay for his own stuff and holidays and give him a month to do so or tell him you are giving him a months notice to move out as you are not selling yourself to support his needs anymore.

You may care about him but if he is the 2nd type of man you will end up hating him. Better to get him to stand on his own two feet for a while. Explain you love him but do not want to live with him right now until he is capable of supporting himself. You may find he will just leave once he realises you wont pay for him anymore but you have to be strict and stick to it. Do not pay for anything in that month until he either gets a place or gets a job.

You have to think of your future too. What about if you had kids? what example would he set them. What if he decided to throw YOU out one day. Will you have enough savings to start again after spending all your money on him?

My partner works hard and pays the mortgage and the main bills and what I earn pays other stuff like the cars we lease etc yet my husband hates it when I pay for anything. He even moans when I insist on paying if we go out for a meal.

Londonergirl · « **Reply #10 on:** 13 July 2013, 05:05:00 pm »

Quote from: meetingdiversity on 13 July 2013, 04:08:35 pm

You see this is what people are like who don't earn. They view people as money pots. I will never get with a bf who is earning peanuts. Not because of discrimination, just because those with less money. Look for others with and use their head. Well they try to with me failing.

I agree totally. any potential bf has to have stable income and job.

what a shit feeling it is to live with a parasite

even if you had the opportunity you cant save money you had to spend on his food, clothes... i rather put in the bank than spend on somebody who is not my family member and a man like this would never become my family certainly. he wont even be grateful for the thousands of pounds in the end you will realise.

meetingdiversity · « **Reply #11 on:** 13 July 2013, 05:18:04 pm »

He will realise just how his bread was buttered when he losses but until then he is taking advantage because he is getting away with it. When other try to with me they stop asap because I make sure putting an end to it all. When they can get away with it for so long it becomes their way of life.

Remember you can never change others but you can change of how others are dealt with leaving them with little option other than your way or out of life. Let me give you an example... One so called male friend kept joking all the time then apologizing every day... Until the final straw came... He said sorry for the last time. (Silence) My reply was I'm not sorry get out of my life...

You see if they cannot fix a problem bugging me then it's my job removing the problem. So now it is much calmer around me. He can act an idiot with his friends. But with me it isn't tolerated. My advice is stand your ground fast, because others take the piss when they test the grounds watching. Especially when the know they can take the piss and get away with it.

Ieaio · « **Reply #12 on:** 13 July 2013, 05:30:46 pm »

I was earning next to nothing the first 4 years of our relationship so it's not as if he's thought hmm i could cash in here, i have always helped him out though. Yes it does do the housework sorry forgot to add. That's the deal i guess i work he does all the housework. We have no kids no.

I have laid out the steps he needs to take else i cut him off and he'll have no food, no home, no nothing. It's only fair i'm not stupid of course not, just didn't realize how much of a financial burden he'd be, it was a case of right i need to give him an intensive to do this job or else i stay in terrible debt so it seemed logical at the time. I have given a 2 week time frame to get his act together which means buying printer ink to print CVs ,getting a hair cut, smart clothes etc, and of course applying for those jobs O:). Sassy stripper side is useful XD.

Don't get me wrong the boy is lovley and i love him, but that's just it. I want a man.

Thanks for the replies ladies, perhaps i will refer him to this too should he slack

Mrs Mischief · « **Reply #13 on:** 13 July 2013, 06:22:13 pm »

MAybe settle for a part-time job if he is still willing to do the chores.

Ieaio · « **Reply #14 on:** 13 July 2013, 06:49:19 pm »

Yes we have agreed on part time. The place we stay in is expensive so i can't really say pay half rent. I don't mind one bit i got the place thinking would i be able to afford if i was single and the answer was yes so hey as long as he pays for everything else.

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Author Topic: Boyfriend (Read 4341 times)

Ieaio

Boyfriend

crystaldenison

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

roseanna

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

lailah terri

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Ami

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Grumpy Cow

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

ParisB

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Taylor

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

meetingdiversity

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Dani

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Londonergirl

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

meetingdiversity

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Ieaio

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Mrs Mischief

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?

Ieaio

Re: My boyfriend expects a cut in my earnings. How to cut him off?