If he stuck ( or sucked  ) to my neck, back and bottom I think I would quite like this..
He's going nowhere near my breasts though..🤔

He wanted to hoover my tits.  Ouchie.

Have I been getting it wrong all these years?!

A man I have seen a few times thought he would be helpful on his last visit (yes his last ever AFAIAC) by telling me the clean up I was doing was not correct. "Should it not be wipe first and then tissues?" he squeaked.

Absorb the spillage with tissues and then clean up with a wipe, surely?

 

This made me laugh! I could be wrong too then, I always use wipes and usually just wipes, no tissue / bog roll at all. Sometimes they just go to the shower but I always make sure there is nothing that will drip off as they walk over, more for my bed sheets than concern for them though!

I really just improvise but if someone told me I was doing it wrong I'd have to bin him off too, can't be doing with that!

Client - you don't look 35
Me - what does a 35 look like
Client - saggy and wrinkly

 

At that point want to tell them I'm actually 41
.

I think so many have taken 15+ years off the men have no idea what real age looks like.

I wonder how old his 35 year old was really

"Yeah, I can tell by your ballsack you're in your early 60s"

This is so true. i'm not even sure if anyone is really ever 35, I find 35,36 and 38 are code ages for the over 40s and the completely deluded over 50s 

I know, I've always used my exact real age, nobody has ever said I looked shite for my age! I do think if you are 50 and say you are 40 then you are really running the risk of people thinking you look old for your age. In actual fact you probably don't, but how many of us genuinely look ten years younger than our age? Some but not many. I would hate to drop a few years on my age and have someone think I look old!

I often get 'you look a lot younger'  but that's because I'm being honest and perhaps men are used to (perhaps more with the more mature ladies) people saying they are younger than they are.

It's easy to think the guy who said 35 was saggy and wrinkly is being rude, unless his '35' year old was actually 50...

Third time I have seen this man but during today's booking although it went well I was shocked when he told me the exact house another lady works from. Just came right out with it with no warning. He had been telling me of their booking because she is a dominatrix with her own (makeshift) dungeon and he was revelling in the memory  . She advertises as in a discreet location so what would you do? Would you contact her and tell her what he said?

My immediate thought was will he tell any other sp MY exact location?   

Sometimes this job throws up a stinker. 

I opened the door to a guy and immediately recognised him from a swingers club I had attended, so he knew my real name. During the booking he started telling me about another lady in our area who is the same age as me. He told me exactly where she lived which turned out to be in the next road to where I live, her name and all about her drink problem  .
I thought thank god you don’t know where I live, knowing my name is bad enough. I have refused to see him since.

One man sat chatting with me as he had time left and was revelling in being with a whore, his 60th birthday treat to himself, had never done it before. He turned to me and asked had I ever been raided by the police. He was quite dissapionted when I told him we had done nothing illegal. I think I spoilt his birthday.

When some guy a decade or so younger than you emails you informing you he is looking for you to be his new sugar-baby