SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Littlemisslondon on 06 May 2016, 12:31:01 am
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So I was thinking we have sections for 'How not to book, describe last booking, creepy things they say' but I don't think we have section for dumb ass things they blurt out generally right after we've just drained their brains ;)
A normally quite intelligent regular of mine tonight at the end of booking:
'Wow, you've really caught the sun today. How did you do that, did you go outside at all?'
'No I stayed indoors under the duvet all day..... Did you seriously just ask that??'
Absolutely howling, thankfully both of us not just me!
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So I was thinking we have sections for 'How not to book, describe last booking, creepy things they say' but I don't think we have section for dumb ass things they blurt out generally right after we've just drained their brains ;)
A normally quite intelligent regular of mine tonight at the end of booking:
'Wow, you've really caught the sun today. How did you do that, did you go outside at all?'
'No I stayed indoors under the duvet all day..... Did you seriously just ask that??'
Absolutely howling, thankfully both of us not just me!
Had similar!
HIM: "wow, where have YOU been on holiday, you lucky thing!"
ME: "ummm, nowhere, just been out and about"
HIM: "really?? A tan like that in London??!"
So, wut? The sun never shines in London and I don't go out, like, ever?
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Client.. So do you have someone immediately after me?
Me. No I'm just going to do some shopping
Client.. Why? You have a whole box of condoms left.
Me. Ignores idiot comment.. 'no I'm going food shopping'
Client.. You really do that? In a normal supermarket..? (looks horrified)
Yes because I couldn't possibly shop for anything other than condoms, like, you know, food.. They don't think of us as human
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Client.. So do you have someone immediately after me?
Me. No I'm just going to do some shopping
Client.. Why? You have a whole box of condoms left.
Me. Ignores idiot comment.. 'no I'm going food shopping'
Client.. You really do that? In a normal supermarket..? (looks horrified)
Yes because I couldn't possibly shop for anything other than condoms, like, you know, food.. They don't think of us as human
Wow! That's really ridiculous. He obviously had never even considered that we're people. Like we must fly off to a cave and sleep hanging upside down somewhere.
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I had a guy see me twice - terribly posh guy. The second time I had just moved to my new flat.
When he came in he looked around and said, "Wow... I'm investing in a block of flats very similar to this. How did you get this flat? I need to know how to screen girls like you out!"
I just laughed at him and said that on paper I present as a perfectly ordinary person and there's nothing he could do about it.
Weirdo.
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I had a guy see me twice - terribly posh guy. The second time I had just moved to my new flat.
When he came in he looked around and said, "Wow... I'm investing in a block of flats very similar to this. How did you get this flat? I need to know how to screen girls like you out!"
I just laughed at him and said that on paper I present as a perfectly ordinary person and there's nothing he could do about it.
Weirdo.
Wow!
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Obese client: You know if you lost a stone you would be really pretty!
It took every ounce not to shove that tacky bottle of Moet up his patooey.
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Obese client: You know if you lost a stone you would be really pretty!
It took every ounce not to shove that tacky bottle of Moet up his patooey.
Wow...Just wow.... :FF
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Obese client: You know if you lost a stone you would be really pretty!
It took every ounce not to shove that tacky bottle of Moet up his patooey.
I had that from an ex regular. 'Oh you've put on weight, you looked better before, when are you going to lose it?'
The same guy would say every meet 'you'd look better with a boob job, when are you going to get one?'
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A very regular client gives me financial advice EVERY single time after he's handed me my fee at the end...He's told me countless times that he paid his mortgage in his late 20's (he's in his 80's) He keeps saying that I should invest wisely and be sure to not keep more than ?75,000 in each account! When I said I have children and animals to keep he told me to 'get rid of them'!!!
He also 'examines' me to check I haven't put on any weight. ::)
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'Are you pink inside?'
A seemingly totally random remark thrown into the conversation when someone tried to book me. I did query why he said it and his reply was 'dunno, it just popped into my head'. ::)
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im quite lukcy in a sense that i put on weight, hadn't seen an old regular for a year and he goes "yeah you've put on weight, but now theres ass to go in my pants"..... he buys me CK pants haha x
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A very regular client gives me financial advice EVERY single time after he's handed me my fee at the end...He's told me countless times that he paid his mortgage in his late 20's (he's in his 80's) He keeps saying that I should invest wisely and be sure to not keep more than ?75,000 in each account! When I said I have children and animals to keep he told me to 'get rid of them'!!!
He also 'examines' me to check I haven't put on any weight. ::)
Omg! I would so not see him again, obnoxious old fluffernutter. He tends to forget that when he had a mortgage a normal house price was probably ?5000.
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Katrina some older men are just too out of touch with the cost of living for people with children.
Don't know how you put up with him I would get rid!
Unsolicited advice is one of my pet hates....
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Katrina some older men are just too out of touch with the cost of living for people with children.
Don't know how you put up with him I would get rid!
Unsolicited advice is one of my pet hates....
Oh me too, had the most annoying reg telling me how and where I should work from, I binned him in the end x
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
:o :FF
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
Erm what? :o ;D
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
Erm what? :o ;D
Double erm what!
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
O dear, O dear, :FF :FF
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
the stupid is strong
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
Rofl omg!
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
Absolutely wetting myself on that one !!
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FB and Lb you're both right, he's an obnoxious pathetic little man, he never had children or animals so he hasn't got a clue how much they cost (or how much genuine happiness they bring) He's got no living relatives and certainly no friends. At first his unwanted 'advice' really annoyed me but I've heard his shite that many times that its just really boring now. I would like to dump him but he's convenient as he books Sunday evenings when I'm not doing anything and he only lives 10 minutes away so I just think of the money and humour him, I've started saying things to him like "Are you sure you're ok (his name) you keep repeating yourself" ;-)
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
A lot of these old folks are so mis informed, he's probably thinking that only hiv exists and that you shrink and die from it! The silly twat!
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I just said that I didn't think the clap or herpes puts people off their food particularly.He just had a sort of puzzled look on his face like I was the village idiot not him! :D
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Most memorable one of mine is "So was your child a work accident?"
Only other one I can remember is you don't do bareback and I don't so can we do it together as we're both clean.
I try to block and forget the idiot things they say as soon as they have said it. ;D
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Most memorable one of mine is "So was your child a work accident?"
Only other one I can remember is you don't do bareback and I don't so can we do it together as we're both clean.
I try to block and forget the idiot things they say as soon as they have said it. ;D
Oh ditto, the worst I had was so is your daughter going to be a hustler like her mother. :FF
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In a punting review he wrote...she had a tummy and then some ::)
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A seriously coked-up little shit was brutal when I refused multiple pleas to join him in a line;
"..and you say you are only in your 40's? Blimey, you must have had a hard paper round!"
Yeah, didn't laugh in 1978 when I first heard that joke on Telly either :-\
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'Are you pink inside?'
A seemingly totally random remark thrown into the conversation when someone tried to book me. I did query why he said it and his reply was 'dunno, it just popped into my head'. ::)
Alrighty then.... ???
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Most memorable one of mine is "So was your child a work accident?"
Good Lord! :o
You win this thread!
(If someone asked me that I would probably make it clear that they'd fucked up and that whatever remained of their booking was now down the drain.)
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Sometimes they say I am a housewife. I find it so insulting!
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I had a really bad booking with a very creepy guy once. He stuck his fingers all the way inside me and started having a good feel around. I stopped him but he looked at me very intently, tilted his head to the side and said ''don't take offence but have you ever had a miscarriage or had an abortion because it really feels like you have?''. Wanker.
And no, he absolutely wasn't a doctor at all. Really disturbing and it upset me quite a bit actually because I did have an abortion many years ago (and it was profusely botched) and what he said really fucked with my head.
I asked my doctor if there was any real chance he could tell, she laughed and said not a chance.
It's no wonder this job makes us grumpy at times - we deal with utter loons like this! >:(
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Wow, Clarabella that is really awful.
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Jesus Christ.
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Another one that I posted about a while ago. A combination of things led to me kicking him out but this one stuck in my mind 'you're a big girl, you should be better at massages than this' I'm a size 12 ffs and already told him that I was an amateur. Also not sure what my size has to do with ability to massage
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I had a really bad booking with a very creepy guy once. He stuck his fingers all the way inside me and started having a good feel around. I stopped him but he looked at me very intently, tilted his head to the side and said ''don't take offence but have you ever had a miscarriage or had an abortion because it really feels like you have?''. Wanker.
And no, he absolutely wasn't a doctor at all. Really disturbing and it upset me quite a bit actually because I did have an abortion many years ago (and it was profusely botched) and what he said really fucked with my head.
I asked my doctor if there was any real chance he could tell, she laughed and said not a chance.
It's no wonder this job makes us grumpy at times - we deal with utter loons like this! >:(
What a disgusting little worm.
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I had a really bad booking with a very creepy guy once. He stuck his fingers all the way inside me and started having a good feel around. I stopped him but he looked at me very intently, tilted his head to the side and said ''don't take offence but have you ever had a miscarriage or had an abortion because it really feels like you have?''. Wanker.
And no, he absolutely wasn't a doctor at all. Really disturbing and it upset me quite a bit actually because I did have an abortion many years ago (and it was profusely botched) and what he said really fucked with my head.
I asked my doctor if there was any real chance he could tell, she laughed and said not a chance.
It's no wonder this job makes us grumpy at times - we deal with utter loons like this! >:(
What an absolute fuckwit. Sorry Clarabella that you were subject to this.
Mine was a lovely (I thought) professional man that I had seen a number of times and had always liked and respected. Between rounds, and talking about other things, he asked "So when was the first time you did this?" meaning escorting. I was just chilling out and mistakenly let my mouth run away with me a little, saying actually due to some bad circumstances in my life, I actually did this for the first time when I was 15.
A completely lecherous look came over his face and he went "Phwoar... you were a right little goer then weren't you! I'd love to have met you when you were 15"
Creepy and depressing doesn't even begin to cover it :( x
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A very posh, old man asked if I had ever had a "real job". I wish I had replied with "Nah, I went on the game as soon as I got my NI card at 15."
He also was shocked and kept exclaiming "how unusual!" when I mentioned the fact that I have a boyfriend who is fine with my job.
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Posh old men can be about the stupidest of all. They're often a bizarre mix of arrogant know-it-all and infantile naivety.
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An idiot a while back asked if I had a pimp. When I'd finished laughing and told him no he was genuinely surprised and asked "So how do you handle your money?!" Well enough without giving it to anyone else thankfully!
Same guy went at me relentlessly for the whole booking, after we'd finished I started getting dressed and he shouts "Wait! I haven't had my full time!" And whips out his stopwatch on his phone which was at 28 minutes... He left disappointed that I couldn't make him pop for the second time in 2 mins... Still made me try though!
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Posh old men can be about the stupidest of all. They're often a bizarre mix of arrogant know-it-all and infantile naivety.
That may not be wrong at all. I just need to come up with an excuse for not available. I gave him a chance but he missed it to my delight!! :D :D
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Obese client: You know if you lost a stone you would be really pretty!
It took every ounce not to shove that tacky bottle of Moet up his patooey.
I had that from an ex regular. 'Oh you've put on weight, you looked better before, when are you going to lose it?'
The same guy would say every meet 'you'd look better with a boob job, when are you going to get one?'
I noticed that some of my regulars were nicer to me when I was slimmer lol :FF
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An idiot a while back asked if I had a pimp. When I'd finished laughing and told him no he was genuinely surprised and asked "So how do you handle your money?!" Well enough without giving it to anyone else thankfully!
Same guy went at me relentlessly for the whole booking, after we'd finished I started getting dressed and he shouts "Wait! I haven't had my full time!" And whips out his stopwatch on his phone which was at 28 minutes... He left disappointed that I couldn't make him pop for the second time in 2 mins... Still made me try though!
And then they'll drag you through the mud for being a "clock watcher" if you made them leave on the dot. Hate these idiots. These are the same people who expect to pop multiple times in a 30 minute session or worse 15 minutes then get upset when you somehow couldn't get them up a second time.
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'Can you dress emo for our meet.' I'm like fuck yea a fellow greb..... Spend 30 mins putting my outfit together. He turns up, super posh man. He looks annoyed at my clothing and tells me to change i'm like.................................. you literally asked for emo clothing what is more emo than knee high socks, tight plaid fitted shirt black pleasted mini skirt and studded bracelets, it is literally majority of my wadrobe. He explains in detail what he wants from my clothing and tells me to put it on while he goes to the toilet. So I have 30 seconds to create a mess of a concept that pretty sure only egsists in his head in 30 seconds. Huh I'm not a sim who can spin around and poof clothes are A. found in wadrobe B. In my inventory and C. Masterfully matched to create an outfit. I ask him later why the specific clothing request kink he said he likes posh well dressed girls.......
..........
Emo is literally the definition of a bit scruff round the edges with bed head hair, lots of black and studs vomited in. Probably the opposite, he blamed me for his bad. It was only 30 minutes so I lumped it as one of those things. I think it just confuses me more than anything, like these are human beings who do human things like getting dressed right? So........ why does logic not apply.
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That is EXACTLY what I would expect for "Emo." What an idiot!
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Elderly client on a booking.He pays and then asks how much extra it is for bareback.I tell him I don't do bareback and ask him how we both know the other is sti free.His reply well I only bareback bbws like you because you obviously don't have diseases or you would be skinny....
I literally lol-ed when I read this. Hilarious!!!
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Obese client: You know if you lost a stone you would be really pretty!
It took every ounce not to shove that tacky bottle of Moet up his patooey.
I had that from an ex regular. 'Oh you've put on weight, you looked better before, when are you going to lose it?'
The same guy would say every meet 'you'd look better with a boob job, when are you going to get one?'
I noticed that some of my regulars were nicer to me when I was slimmer lol :FF
I'm probably quite lucky that I'm booked mostly for my size. I'm about a 16 then obscenely large on top and usually get lovely compliments even if I have put on weight but my pet hate is men leering and grinning as creepily as possible while feeling fit to tell me, "well you're a big girl, aren't ya?!". No shit, Sherlock. I actually like my size and I'm really comfortable with appearance etc but that phrase makes my blood run cold.
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I'm black just as a background to this story and just to add this wanker was jumping through all sorts of hoops to get a booking with me and throwing tantrums because he couldn't get one,
"Black girls aren't popular, very few guys like black girls and you should be grateful for the attention I'm giving you"
I was shocked into silence. I don't get shocked into silence a lot.
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I'm black just as a background to this story and just to add this wanker was jumping through all sorts of hoops to get a booking with me and throwing tantrums because he couldn't get one,
"Black girls aren't popular, very few guys like black girls and you should be grateful for the attention I'm giving you"
I was shocked into silence. I don't get shocked into silence a lot.
Jeezo! Like that'll make you inclined to see him! The rudeness sometimes astonishes me. :FF :FF :FF xx
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Wow Lulu.... you must've felt so honoured... Not, what a feckin racist freak !! Lucky escape me thinks! xxx
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Honestly it was the luckiest. I honestly don't know what wrong with some guys ::)
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What a dick!
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1. What is your bf doing for living?
2. Do you have a bf? Why not?
3. You should save some money and quit this job
4. I saw your friend (nickname of WG working in your town) and he talks about her for a while :FF
5. Do you have children?
6. Can't you find another job??
7. You look more mature than you state in your profile
8. You look older than your pics (pics taken a week ago)
9. Surprised look or texts from them when you saying you have something else to do
10. Can I be your bf?
11. How much do you make?
12. What do you like?
13. I want to make you cum
14. Can I see pics of your pussy before I book?
15. Question about your education
16. How much is this room?
17. They are saying they saw nasty reviews on punters forums and they tell you what and where and they ask you to have an argument with those idiots because 'you are different', I expect they will write something nasty as well
Feel free to add if I have missed anything ;D
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"If I was your boyfriend I would take proper care of you and not let you do something like this"
Well it's a good job I don't have a controlling asshole for a boyfriend like you then isn't it.
Had that one said to me on a couple of occasions along with the usual relationship and marriage stuff it gets pretty cringe when they act like they are my knight in shining armour here to save me from this terrible life I'm living. Because I can't just make a choice to become a prostitute because I want a job that pays a lot of money really fast. I must be desperate for the money to do this....
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" I hope you will find a nice man who will look after you "
Yes! I already have ! ;D
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"If I was your boyfriend I would take proper care of you and not let you do something like this"
Well it's a good job I don't have a controlling asshole for a boyfriend like you then isn't it.
Had that one said to me on a couple of occasions along with the usual relationship and marriage stuff it gets pretty cringe when they act like they are my knight in shining armour here to save me from this terrible life I'm living. Because I can't just make a choice to become a prostitute because I want a job that pays a lot of money really fast. I must be desperate for the money to do this....
I would be tempted to ask them why they are encouraging prostitiution by partaking in my services if they think it's so bad and they wouldn't want their girlfriend to do something so 'bad'.
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A mid 60s wee, fat guy I saw about once a week for 4 or 5 weeks a few months ago. Now blocked! He was defo getting too close, well trying too.
" but I can really tell by the look in your eyes ( while I was on top ) that you really like me. You don't look at people like that without it meaning something. I can tell you've probably had a really abusive childhood and I think you could really love me and I you"
I obviously missed my true vocation. Acting.
And actually mate my childhood was wonderful. You offensive knob!
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"If I was your boyfriend I would take proper care of you and not let you do something like this"
Well it's a good job I don't have a controlling asshole for a boyfriend like you then isn't it.
Had that one said to me on a couple of occasions along with the usual relationship and marriage stuff it gets pretty cringe when they act like they are my knight in shining armour here to save me from this terrible life I'm living. Because I can't just make a choice to become a prostitute because I want a job that pays a lot of money really fast. I must be desperate for the money to do this....
I would be tempted to ask them why they are encouraging prostitiution by partaking in my services if they think it's so bad and they wouldn't want their girlfriend to do something so 'bad'.
I imagine logic isn't their strong point. They'll just say whatever makes them sound like a good guy and get you to go out with them because they want free sex. From their point of view the only thing that is bad is that I'm having sex with other guys as long as they are the other guy they don't care but if they were my boyfriend they wouldn't be able to deal with that. But mostly they'll sweet talk you for free sex lol.
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What is your pussy width? Small, medium or large?
:FF
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Oh god yes I've been asked how big my pussy is on the phone! :FF
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This one had me in hysterics;
"You've got a lovely egg timer shape figure"
After a bit of confusion and explaining on his part I realised he actually meant hour glass figure. Poor guy was trying to pay me a compliment but I couldn't stop laughing. Still chuckling about it now!!
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Egg timer lol ;D ;D :FF
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Still smiling at the egg timer quote! ;D
One man I see has a thing about me getting "fully satisfied" as he puts it and of course he knows exactly how to do it ::)
He doesn't of course and I don't get turned on by him or his actions one bit but do my best. When I remove my bra/top or robe my nipples pop up because of the drop in temperature in the room and he is convinced it is because I am in a state of high arousal. "I can tell you will orgasm within a few minutes, just look at those hard nipples!"
This is the same man who tells me to "prepare for your climax" as he blows into my ear. I hate it! Having my ears licked or blown into leaves me cold. Why do men think we love it? Or will girls on here now tell me they adore it? :)
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Licked ears, gross
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Why do men think we love it? Or will girls on here now tell me they adore it? :)
Well, preferences are highly personal, I personally enjoy ear-licking/nibbling and I've had a fair share of personal life male partners who liked it, too. Ears ARE an erogenous zone for many people.
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Why do men think we love it? Or will girls on here now tell me they adore it? :)
Well, preferences are highly personal, I personally enjoy ear-licking/nibbling and I've had a fair share of personal life male partners who liked it, too. Ears ARE an erogenous zone for many people.
Well yes I understand some people will like it but a slobbering wet tongue owned by an old man who thinks foreplay is anything other than spending time down below, just does not ring my bell! :-\
This was the same man who attempted to state the bleedin obvious too, he said "I am helping pay all your bills aren't I?"
er, yes you are and thank you very much. ;D
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'We've got such a great connection, can we be friends and see each other off the clock?'
::) nah mate, you just believe in my GFE a bit too much.
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Why do men think we love it? Or will girls on here now tell me they adore it? :)
Well, preferences are highly personal, I personally enjoy ear-licking/nibbling and I've had a fair share of personal life male partners who liked it, too. Ears ARE an erogenous zone for many people.
Well yes I understand some people will like it but a slobbering wet tongue owned by an old man who thinks foreplay is anything other than spending time down below, just does not ring my bell! :-\
This was the same man who attempted to state the bleedin obvious too, he said "I am helping pay all your bills aren't I?"
er, yes you are and thank you very much. ;D
All your bills ;D
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After he's cum - "Wow what a connection, did you feel it too?", "uh huh" while I'm discreetly looking over his shoulder at my watch to see how much longer we have left ;)
"You are so passionate you make me forget this is your job", why thank you kind sir I'm sure I will get that Oscar this year!
"I feel like I know so much about you, like we're getting closer", hahahahahahaha yeah you think I'm single, still live at home with my mum and am studying at university, you know nothing about me except what I want you to know.
"I can't believe how tight you are with how much cock you get every day", I think he could tell by the look on my face that he fucked up with that one... can you say sympathy tip?
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I'm very busty, it doesn't even need acknowledging, we can all see I'm walking about with the equivalent of two footballs strapped to my chest...
"Have you always had big tits?"
"Nah mate, crawled out the womb like this..." :FF
I know there's no badness in it but it does annoy me, I'd rather be paid a compliment acknowledging it than asked that question every time I whip my bra off.
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A client I see fairly often and lets me know how upper class he is ::) makes me inwardly smile. His numerous attempts to impress me by name dropping and constant references to how much he and his family spend just prove to me that he has some kind of problem, he mentions his much wealthier relatives and second hand bragging leaves me cold.
He told me he has spent vast amounts of money on me (thanks a lot much appreciated, I do not force him to visit!) so when he said this I replied "but Michael you have very expensive tastes and I am one of them" ;D
He was quite gobsmacked and just smiled at me, I had got him there bang to rights!
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Tbh I prefer those who brag about their money than those who ask for discount lol ;D
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American foot doctor after telling me how gorgeous and sexy I am (yeah right!) kissed his way down my legs to my toes... Looked at my feet and said 'Oh you have pretty feet, aside from the slight bunion on each foot' He then gave me a full foot exam declaring I 'Have some osteoarthritis in my toes that probably could warrant some attention from physical therapy' He then clicked straight back into starting to kiss his way back up..... ::)
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Today I almost took a booking from a first time man who has been emailing me over and over again. Not being keen on email tennis I did my best to get him to make the online booking and wait until tomorrow when the time came.
Then he sends a final message before going through the booking system "I was in the army many years ago and we were all warned never to visit prostitutes as we could catch VD. It is the oldest profession (really? wow never heard that one before) and I do not judge."
I cancelled his booking. I had also advised him to remove his very big full on face photo from his profile, he also has his location in bold letters on his page. I told him he could be easily spotted and outed.
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How so daft. ::) there are idiots who have zero manners. AVOID. :o
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One just phoned me asking if I remember him. It turns out it was over 4 years ago. Then he said I changed a little bit. What was he expecting me to say.?.
I should have said thinking about it he is stating the obvious well done. But stayed professional.
Just some nosey idiot.
No one looks the same all the time. He has put me off him. I have done very well without his custom.
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I had a client that had been in the room with me for about 15 minutes, my name begins with English, my profile emphasizes that I'm English and he pipes up with, your English is very good, I couldn't stop laughing
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I had a client that had been in the room with me for about 15 minutes, my name begins with English, my profile emphasizes that I'm English and he pipes up with, your English is very good, I couldn't stop laughing
Lol I love that one. My working name is Asian sounding to play off my racial features and the fetish for that but I'm from NZ and speak English with a very clear NZ accent. Still had plenty say I speak really good English. I've spent my whole life living in English speaking countries of course I do! I think at that point their head brain stopped working and they only use the brain between their legs.
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Lol, I think men in general always say the wrong thing ::)
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I'm in a bdsm relationship and I am an owned sub. I sell video clips of some of the stuff we do and every now and then, some guys can book in with my Master and give me a good going over. Aaaaany way. I had one client that I had for a 15min BJ and on his return visit, he announced that we had a special connection and that even if he makes himself sound silly, he has to be honest and that he loves me! He said, I can see it in your eyes that you dont like being hurt, I can see it so easily that this bdsm abuse isnt what you truly need. I would never let anyone hurt you, I would protect you and treat you like a queen!
I literally did not know what to say!! I was massively freaked out though! I skin actually crawled
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This ones a bit petty I know but a client said to me yesterday "Do you enjoy it?" ... I was hardly going to say no I just do it for the money ::) I just said "Well it all depends on the person really doesn't it?!! "
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I'm in a bdsm relationship and I am an owned sub. I sell video clips of some of the stuff we do and every now and then, some guys can book in with my Master and give me a good going over. Aaaaany way. I had one client that I had for a 15min BJ and on his return visit, he announced that we had a special connection and that even if he makes himself sound silly, he has to be honest and that he loves me! He said, I can see it in your eyes that you dont like being hurt, I can see it so easily that this bdsm abuse isnt what you truly need. I would never let anyone hurt you, I would protect you and treat you like a queen!
I literally did not know what to say!! I was massively freaked out though! I skin actually crawled
Ugh, yes I've had that too when they realize I am in a d/s relationship. One client asked if he could co own me!
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Just had a new booking which was fantastic fun but at the end he got to talking about my neighbour who escorts too...
"I hope this isn't taken as cheekily as it sounds but she makes you look slim..."
Cheers pal. ::)
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A guy yesterday told me he paid a girl in fake euros >:( but he went back the next morning to pay her & has now "befriended" her (pimp). He told me he's an escort too & gets ?160 an hour but I highly doubt it. Tried to give me a Viagra for myself ??? to make me horny. Didn't think they worked on women but I wouldn't take it anyway.
One the other week said after that me talking to him on the phone was enough to get him off. He was then arranging a threesome on the phone with a friend & moaned that he'd just paid me when he could have got some for free. ::) Both his mum & dad called whilst he was with me & left his phone on, he then said he's going home to share a bath with his Mum. I don't find Oedipus complex jokes very amusing but he seemed to think he was clever.
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Didn't think they worked on women but I wouldn't take it anyway.
It doesn't. You'd just get a headache from heightened blood pressure and increased blood flow in your limbs.
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i have a few who say "i love you" in time with their thrusting.... x
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A guy yesterday told me he paid a girl in fake euros >:( but he went back the next morning to pay her & has now "befriended" her (pimp). He told me he's an escort too & gets ?160 an hour but I highly doubt it. Tried to give me a Viagra for myself ??? to make me horny. Didn't think they worked on women but I wouldn't take it anyway.
One the other week said after that me talking to him on the phone was enough to get him off. He was then arranging a threesome on the phone with a friend & moaned that he'd just paid me when he could have got some for free. ::) Both his mum & dad called whilst he was with me & left his phone on, he then said he's going home to share a bath with his Mum. I don't find Oedipus complex jokes very amusing but he seemed to think he was clever.
he's just f** weird
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It doesn't. You'd just get a headache from heightened blood pressure and increased blood flow in your limbs.
Have you tried? ;D :)
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he's just f** weird
Unsavoury, I might add ::) ???
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Can I bring a bottle of red wine? I said, no. Are you abstinent? Blah blah blah.. No, I don't want you to get too comfortable just for an hour booking which I did not say but it was too obvious. You can cancel if you prefer which I said, disgusted. ::) >:(. Some men think they are entitled to overstay! It was hard to get rid of him the first time. An idiot. ::)
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After 1 booking of an hour a client just texted me his in love with me. Obviously I don't feel the same he is a nice client due tomorrow for a booking. Not sure how this will go. I couldn't bring myself to cancel as only would if clients were rude. I see it more like a lust crush they are easy to deal with.
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Sat talking to a client after the booking, he's a very regular so I often have a small drink and 20 mins to half hour chat with him after (for free) He's mumbling a bit as he does then he starts talking about how the worlds resources are running out and that the soil will eventually be unfit to grow food and things in, but not for about 200 to 300 years time, he asked me what did I think the solution to this could be...I was thinking about it as it was quite a random subject, he then says after about half a minute "come on then whats your answer?" I said I'm not quite sure I'm just thinking of possibilities he then says "Oh forget it we'll move on to something more simple, this is obviously far too intellectual for you" ??? ::)
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Sat talking to a client after the booking, he's a very regular so I often have a small drink and 20 mins to half hour chat with him after (for free) He's mumbling a bit as he does then he starts talking about how the worlds resources are running out and that the soil will eventually be unfit to grow food and things in, but not for about 200 to 300 years time, he asked me what did I think the solution to this could be...I was thinking about it as it was quite a random subject, he then says after about half a minute "come on then whats your answer?" I said I'm not quite sure I'm just thinking of possibilities he then says "Oh forget it we'll move on to something more simple, this is obviously far too intellectual for you" ??? ::)
This is why I have one foot out the door as the booking time comes to a close. I truly believe that the more opportunity they have to speak, the more chance I
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continued... :D
...have to fall out with them.
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One of my regulars said to me the other week that he was going to cut me up today :o
I turned round with a confused horror look on my face and he said yes, I'm going to cut you up.
A bit of a stare off to one another for what felt like 10 minutes but it was more like 4 seconds and he said yeah, I didn't get a chance to shave this morning so I've got a stubbly face.
Ah, ok then lol....sounded a little bit murdery there.
xx
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This is why I have one foot out the door as the booking time comes to a close. I truly believe that the more opportunity they have to speak, the more chance I
Yes that's often the case...I think with *some* afterwards they like to have a little dig and make shitty comments probably because they hate the fact that they need me more than I do them. In future with this one I'm gonna act like the dumb ho he assumes I am and say sorry but I haven't got time for a chat after as I'm dashing off to another CUSTOMER.
A couple the other week I was chatting to after, fair enough she was extremely drunk but she starts making comments like "Why do you do this, I bet you get some right smelly old cunts, I just said "For the money?" then she was looking at/touching my lovely manicured nails she said "I'm surprised at this I thought you lesbians had short hair and nails" ::) Then she started on about the escorts on my links about how her and her partner would going to "Buy one get one free hahaha" yeah fucking dream on love ::)
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One of my regulars said to me the other week that he was going to cut me up today :o
I turned round with a confused horror look on my face and he said yes, I'm going to cut you up.
A bit of a stare off to one another for what felt like 10 minutes but it was more like 4 seconds and he said yeah, I didn't get a chance to shave this morning so I've got a stubbly face.
Ah, ok then lol....sounded a little bit murdery there.
xx
Oh god, that's hysterical. ;D
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Oh god, that's hysterical. ;D
Yeah it was when I turned my back on him to get a condom and things out of my drawer next to me that he said it, my head nearly spun off my shoulders when he said it. Wasn't sure I heard him right at first then he repeated it. I was like WTF? Lol x
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This is why I have one foot out the door as the booking time comes to a close. I truly believe that the more opportunity they have to speak, the more chance I
Ditto!! ::)
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Yes that's often the case...I think with *some* afterwards they like to have a little dig and make shitty comments probably because they hate the fact that they need me more than I do them. In future with this one I'm gonna act like the dumb ho he assumes I am and say sorry but I haven't got time for a chat after as I'm dashing off to another CUSTOMER.
What daytime job do you do?
I wish I could come here every week but it's SO EXPENSIVE.
My wife is away at the moment.
etc etc.
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After 1 booking of an hour a client just texted me his in love with me.
::) ::)
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Sat talking to a client after the booking, he's a very regular so I often have a small drink and 20 mins to half hour chat with him after (for free) He's mumbling a bit as he does then he starts talking about how the worlds resources are running out and that the soil will eventually be unfit to grow food and things in, but not for about 200 to 300 years time, he asked me what did I think the solution to this could be...I was thinking about it as it was quite a random subject, he then says after about half a minute "come on then whats your answer?" I said I'm not quite sure I'm just thinking of possibilities he then says "Oh forget it we'll move on to something more simple, this is obviously far too intellectual for you" ??? ::)
I used to see the most bragging guy. Always talking about how rich and smart he was. Once he said, " I'm probably about 75% more intelligent than you.." Random..
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I had a guy who stopped mid booking to tell me ''You're really sexy...in a weird way''. What the fuck does that even mean?? I also had a guy point at my self harm scars and ask who knifed me.
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Just from ONE client yesterday -
'You must be loaded'
'Have you ever had a real job?'
'You wouldn't be able to have a boyfriend whilst you were an escort, that would be way too harsh! (I'm married, but tell clients I'm single)
'How much do you make a month?'
All of this followed by proceeding to look through my personal items before I had a chance to kick the bugger out... won't be seeing him again :-X
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Absolute worst: Guy who turned up drunk/on coke... Spent the entire hour rambling about beating up exes, and kept asking me if I was scared of him. When I replied that no, I was not, har har har, he said he could have a gun in his pocket. Lovely.
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Dodgy punter material. ::) :(
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Absolute worst: Guy who turned up drunk/on coke... Spent the entire hour rambling about beating up exes, and kept asking me if I was scared of him. When I replied that no, I was not, har har har, he said he could have a gun in his pocket. Lovely.
I would have been tempted to say something like "Yes and I could have a big bodyguard ready at a seconds notice to evict any unruly visitors" ;) ;D
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A punter who goes completely soft. I don't remember the first time. 3/4th time, he went on " he does not wanna play does he?" He goes hard and as soon as the condom is on, he goes soft. So I said, let's take the condom off, thinking it's not gonna happen and wanking might do the trick. He goes, "are you sure? " ??? ::) He seemed to think I was going to fuck him without any condom. So I said, lots of punters ( "men", I said) take a blue pill, as I did not want to repeat the same again - fine if he comes back with some treatment or took offense and he would never come back. No pun intended >:(.
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A punter who goes completely soft. I don't remember the first time. 3/4th time, he went on " he does not wanna play does he?" He goes hard and as soon as the condom is on, he goes soft. So I said, let's take the condom off, thinking it's not gonna happen and wanking might do the trick. He goes, "are you sure? " ??? ::) He seemed to think I was going to fuck him without any condom.
Bless him he really thought his luck was in and you were going to 'help' him out by letting him go bare... As if ::) The look on their face is priceless when this scenario happens...I've sometimes pretended to go without by holding the cock near the top of my leg and they've fucked away at my hand near my thigh and suddenly came really quickly (in my hand) its all in their mind lol ;D
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katrina :) Thank YOU. It's so brilliant to know that someone else had the similar experience. :-* He eventually did come but I doubt he would be back anytime soon. I have three others like him but never considered suggesting a blue pill (not yet, at least). ::) There was another thread on this topic but I could not find anymore.
Another (repeat) punter said, " I like these so and so (multiple items) from Ann Summers, I would like you to wear them for me at the next booking. I said, "I'll take a look". After looking at the website, I told him that I could not find one item he was referring to. This morning, he tells me, "Ann Summers got all of these and I have seen them at the store". :o ::) I was under the impression that he couldn't get to the store and buy them for himself. So I decided to suggest him to get them for himself. ::)
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I would have been tempted to say something like "Yes and I could have a big bodyguard ready at a seconds notice to evict any unruly visitors" ;) ;D
Ah, if only! ;D
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Another (repeat) punter said, " I like these so and so (multiple items) from Ann Summers, I would like you to wear them for me at the next booking. I said, "I'll take a look". After looking at the website, I told him that I could not find one item he was referring to. This morning, he tells me, "Ann Summers got all of these and I have seen them at the store". :o ::) I was under the impression that he couldn't get to the store and buy them for himself. So I decided to suggest him to get them for himself. ::)
So he's really expecting you to go out and buy these items to wear for him?
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Yes!! ::)
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Yes!! ::)
What a cheek!! :o
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I know!!! ::) :( I'm glad that you think so, too.
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"Are you sure you can't do oral without a condom? I promise I'm clean, I go to the gym all the time!"
???
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"Are you sure you can't do oral without a condom? I promise I'm clean, I go to the gym all the time!"
???
Ah yes, the gym, that well known barrier method...
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Its strange. Of all my time escorting the only thing I've ever caught anything is something on my feet, via clients trampling on my bathroom towels. From what I've gathered, its from some men who use the gym who use the showers there.
I visit local GUM clinics every 1-2 months yet none of them seem concerned what so ever with the odd tiny tiny "scabs?" on my feet. Yet STI/D tests are always clean? what are the chances of that? I mean of all the sheer, sheer amount of OWO and other things I've done? Strange...
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Verrucas are incredibly infectious and they can live on a lot of different surfaces. I've caught them in the gym showers.
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In no particular order:
1) Why do you do this?
2) Does your family know you do this?
3) Do you have a boyfriend?
4) Ever go dogging?
5) Ever do porn?
For these next few I have to say that I am British of Indian descent:
6) Is it not allowed in your culture?
7) I know you said you're British, but where are you actually from originally?
8) What's your favourite curry?
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8) What's your favourite curry?
Lol, dear God! What was youre reply?
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Lol, dear God! What was youre reply?
I just replied "err I don't know, rogan josh I guess." Or something like that. It threw me a bit.
As a British Indian escort, clearly my world revolves around sex and curry.
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7) I know you said you're British, but where are you actually from originally?
UUGGGGGHHHHHHH
I'd be tempted to reply "My mum's womb. You?"
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I just replied "err I don't know, rogan josh I guess." Or something like that. It threw me a bit.
As a British Indian escort, clearly my world revolves around sex and curry.
...... and Sari's. Don't forget that one. What a total idiot this guy sounds.
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New client asked me the other day do I think of myself as a prostitute? When I replied yes of course because I advertise as a sex worker and men pay me etc etc , but that many people on both sides of this work may prefer to use other terms , his answer was brilliant.
No he said, if you were a prostitute you would be walking the streets. You are a companion.
I could not be bothered with continuing the discussion so did my best to change the subject. All this while his hand was rummaging in my pants. :)
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A companion is another term for prossies lol
How many men do you see per day?
Can I have bareback?
Can I just put the tip only? I won't go all the way in.
Will you consider bareback if I brought all the paperwork?
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You're too nice to be doing this
You sounded English enough on the phone that's why I booked
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"You must make loads of money, and I bet you don't pay tax" - none of their business, and of course I pay tax!
"Well that was a nice and easy earner for you" - dealing with obnoxious idiots is never easy.
"Hi, I saw you for an hour booking last week but I left after 40 minutes. Could I redeem my remaining 20 minutes this afternoon?" Seriously? No!! "Well how about tonight then?"
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Email this morning...
Can I feel you arm muscles while you give me a handjob? You look pretty strong on your photos!
Another one.....
Can you pick me up 2/3 times? I only weigh 13st!
I may be 6ft tall but I'm no bloody strong woman!!!!!
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"Well that was a nice and easy earner for you"
They have no idea do they?
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this is easy money isn't it
why did you become an escort
have you got any escort friends
do you tell people what you do
do the neighbours know
how many clients do you see a day
This all from one client tonight! And just a sample ::)
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I offer 3some bookings with other wgs but only very occasionally does it happen. One man asked did I meet them in my own time for hot sex.
The same man in another meeting asked do I masturbate while waiting for the phone to ring, or invite the postman/window cleaner in to blow him. For fuck sake.
Both questions were answered with a massive YES because I am hot wet and horny 24 hours a day and need sex on the hour every hour. ::)
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I offer 3some bookings with other wgs but only very occasionally does it happen. One man asked did I meet them in my own time for hot sex.
The same man in another meeting asked do I masturbate while waiting for the phone to ring, or invite the postman/window cleaner in to blow him. For fuck sake.
Both questions were answered with a massive YES because I am hot wet and horny 24 hours a day and need sex on the hour every hour. ::)
Oh god me and my duo partners always get asked if we spend time playing with each other in between bookings.We use it to our advantage..one of us starts blowing him while the other talks elaborately in their ear while stroking them and ourselves, about copping off while waiting for a call..they usually come pretty quick then lol!
Some of the more silly things they ask can be put to good use after all! ;D
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I had a client recently tell me I should start working in Dubai as that's where the money is at. Looking at there track record for human rights and as I'm at uni I think I'll give that one a miss :-\
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'This is an easy job for you, but you escorts charge alot of money'
Yeah, this job really is easy. Idiot.
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Had a client yesterday wanted half hr. He came after 10 minutes just by blowing him and shoving a finger up his ass. He got dressed, said how great i was and will be back again. Just as he was about to leave, he turned round and said 'see ya soon, but cheaper next time'. :o
Cheeky cunt!! There now wont be a next time!!
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"Instead of cash why not accept expensive watches or gold?"
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Regular asks in his last booking when I'm next working so give him the dates. He proceeds to ask if I have plans over the school holidays and I tell him my dates are reduced due to my child being home from school.
Anyway, a few days later he texts asking if I'm working that day so I remind him I am unavailable due to my child..... "What about when he's asleep?" :FF :FF :FF
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Guy tells me he's fresh out of Prison and I have been bought as a treat from his mates :-\ When I nip to the bathroom he actually asks me not to steal anything in there..
I was sorely tempted to stuff the loo roll into my bag in a fit of pique.. ( it was embossed ;D )
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A very regular client gives me financial advice EVERY single time after he's handed me my fee at the end...He's told me countless times that he paid his mortgage in his late 20's (he's in his 80's) He keeps saying that I should invest wisely and be sure to not keep more than ?75,000 in each account! When I said I have children and animals to keep he told me to 'get rid of them'!!!
He also 'examines' me to check I haven't put on any weight. ::)
I noticed that form the point I gained a little weight and I'm not skinny anymore, and I uploaded new pics, I get nicer clients....
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Next time he tells you about how he paid his mortgage off early (or any other boasting stuff), take his hand in both of yours, look him in the eyes, shake his hand and say 'Congratulations!'. He should get the message soon enough if you keep doing it.
;D
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Next time he tells you about how he paid his mortgage off early (or any other boasting stuff), take his hand in both of yours, look him in the eyes, shake his hand and say 'Congratulations!'. He should get the message soon enough if you keep doing it.
;D
Lol! Yeah that's where I've been going wrong, when he's told me about his amazing life achievements ::) I've been not saying anything just rolling my eyes and/or yawning (after about the 20+ times he's told me the same old boring shit) Its quite sad really that he STILL needs validation even after 50 years :o The silly old fart ! ;D
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Gosh you've been seeing him 50 years. That's a devoted client you got there, even if he boasts a lot :)
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Gosh you've been seeing him 50 years. That's a devoted client you got there, even if he boasts a lot :)
Yep that's probably the only reason I can put up with him lmao ;D
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Just tell him next session that tying him up and putting a gag in his mouth is going to turn you on a lot...
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Just tell him next session that tying him up and putting a gag in his mouth is going to turn you on a lot...
I've tried that but unfortunately after all this time he now thinks we are husband and wife ! :FF :o
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Ended up in a text/email chat with a potential client that was going on for a few days before I got to his town... we were all friendly and having quite an intellectual conversation about a range of topics. That was until this happened....
Him: So when we finally meet up are you cool to play really rough full on PSE?
Me: To be honest I've had a bit of a bad run lately so I'm not playing rough. Totally understand if you want to see another girl (and maybe you should so you can make sure you have a good time).
Him: It's all good baby. We can just do a romantic gentle PSE.
Me: Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron?
Him: You're so rude, there is no need to take your moronic mood on me. I haven't been rude to you so don't call me a moron. I'm blocking you don't ever contact me again, go back to the country you come from.
Ummmm? I didn't call you a moron, but...... :FF
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Him: You're so rude, there is no need to take your moronic mood on me. I haven't been rude to you so don't call me a moron. I'm blocking you don't ever contact me again, go back to the country you come from.
Lmao, not very eloquent is he.
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One this morning made a booking. He got all the details that was the street and post code letting him know where to park. Then to phone me for instructions. In the end he cancelled due to the fact he don't trust my way of operating. My safty comes first.
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Call:
Him: Are you clean?
Me: Excuse me?
Him: Well, er, ya know - STDs and all that?
Me: That's really rude
Him: I think it's important!
Idiot.
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One this morning made a booking. He got all the details that was the street and post code letting him know where to park. Then to phone me for instructions. In the end he cancelled due to the fact he don't trust my way of operating. My safty comes first.
How bizarre! I operate the same way! I thought most girls just gave postcode first. What a twonk!
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Text received from a client ive seen twice
Him - I was going to ask a favour, can i have your aw log in details so that i can watch your videos and have a wank?'
Me - you want my password to access my profile?
Him - yes, if thats ok babe?
Me - im sorry, do i really come across as that much of an indiot? I suggest you fucking do one mate. Dont contact me again, im blocking you.
:FF
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I only do out calls, the amount of kids toys I'd have to hide would just be stupid. I was explaining this to a new client, who was to cheap to get a room and apparently still lived with his parents. He asked if I could possibly meet him in a nearby play park?! He was really surprised I said no, he was like "there won't be kids there at night" :FF
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Text received from a client ive seen twice
Him - I was going to ask a favour, can i have your aw log in details so that i can watch your videos and have a wank?'
Me - you want my password to access my profile?
Him - yes, if thats ok babe?
Me - im sorry, do i really come across as that much of an indiot? I suggest you fucking do one mate. Dont contact me again, im blocking you.
:FF
That is pure rude he must have thought you was born yesterday. I would have blocked too after giving my piece. What a nonse.
Some think they deserve freebies after paying but need to realise it doesn't work like that. Like they buy products in a store and think they should be complemented with extras for buying. What planet are they on.
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Out of all my clients there are only two who I take payment at the end. One is because I know where he works (he does not take off his lanyard before getting out of his car and I have seen his linkedin profile on the net so he is far from anonymous) and the other is a man I have known for years and lives scarily close to my in call place. I have visited him there when his family were away.
This second one came to see me last week and it was almost time up when he confessed he had left his bank card at home and not had time to get cash.
I was inwardly very annoyed but knew my money was safe. He said he would drop it off into my letterbox later that day but just before he left he said he had so much on it may be "tomorrow" !!
I politely told him no, please make sure to drop it off today, then told him I preferred not to blur boundaries at this stage as it was not a good idea. He posted the money through an hour later.
Wondering how it would have gone if he had confessed at the start he had no money on him. He had a lucky escape as I would not dream of causing any trouble but I think he realised I am not the soft touch he imagined.
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An email from a bookee due tomorrow wbich doubt now. He said he was browsing my pg and his cock will never be the same. Rolls eyes. He also said he downloaded them.
Why an eath do they think I'll be impressed with how horny they are outside of a booking. im an escort not thier free fuck buddy nor do I fancy them.
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I had one who said something similar over the phone and he was also wanking off whilst on the phone. ::) I'm not seeing this one. :( I had a lucky escape.
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He said he was browsing my pg and his cock will never be the same.
Oh what an attractive picture. He's such an inept wanker that he injured his penis while tugging one out...
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It was a client who seen me before bless. He said I cancelled on him before and couldn't fit him in. When really this is what happened. He arrived 30 minutes early. I politely asked if he could wait for 5 minutes. He decided to leave. Although I try to accommodate early bookings just it's not possible all the time.
Turning up at the hair dressers early more than likely you wait until the time. Doctors you wait until so don't think this should be any different. This is a business to I think some forget.
See how some times they like to frame escorts even when it was their doing.
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It was a client who seen me before bless. He said I cancelled on him before and couldn't fit him in. When really this is what happened. He arrived 30 minutes early. I politely asked if he could wait for 5 minutes. He decided to leave. Although I try to accommodate early bookings just it's not possible all the time.
Turning up at the hair dressers early more than likely you wait until the time. Doctors you wait until so don't think this should be any different. This is a business to I think some forget.
See how some times they like to frame escorts even when it was their doing.
I totally get this. I keep all correspondence and frequently catch them out saying things like, 'We haven't been able to get our schedules to match yet,' when what really happened is, they've booked and then cancelled multiple times or they've repeatedly asked for same day bookings when I don't do them.
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One this morning made a booking. He got all the details that was the street and post code letting him know where to park. Then to phone me for instructions. In the end he cancelled due to the fact he don't trust my way of operating. My safty comes first.
This sounds dead standard to me. ??? ::) Idiots cancel anyway whatever it is.
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This sounds dead standard to me. ??? ::) Idiots cancel anyway whatever it is.
The funny thing was that he came to see me later on in the day couldn't work that one out. He said he was with his friends after drinking well I didn't really understand fully what he was saying but got the jist. Usually I can spot them out asking to see me when sober over the phone but some guys are like sober drinkers. When I drink think I would give the game away. :)
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Text one (from guy I saw once): 'I know it's early but can I take you out one evening?' (2 a.m)
I IGNORE
Text 2 (few days later): '....(myname)...are you straight? xxx'
Poor man obviously can't get his head round the fact that I would blank his offer of a date.
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I saw a client on a Saturday and during the booking, I happened to mention that I work 2 jobs.
He actually said, "2 jobs and no work on a Saturday?!"
I was like WTF??? "Um, I'm actually working right now. This is a job."
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I saw a client on a Saturday and during the booking, I happened to mention that I work 2 jobs.
He actually said, "2 jobs and no work on a Saturday?!"
I was like WTF??? "Um, I'm actually working right now. This is a job."
Yeh like the ones that say 'it must be so easy doing this' or I would love to be doing this.
Yeh its a breeze every single client is lovely, none are unpleasant or dangerous ::)
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Yup.. :)
I had something similar.
Him: would you like an hour's fun at my place & then take you out to dinner?
Me: sorry, I cannot visit you.
Him: oh, I didn't mean to invite you as an escort but it's an invite as a friend. No sexual connotation involved, I meant.
Me: ------------- (gone silent)
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Nova that did make me laugh. Yes they honestly don't see it as work do they! Just a few get the work but they are few and far between. I have found the ones who do understand our job better than most have high intelligence.
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A client asked my price for half an hour. He then replied with are you worth it?. How arrogant. I texted him no your not worth my time. I see respectable clients. He then texted only joking.
The client was acting suspicious any way he said he was jebious of doing this he had a gf.
No one is forcing you hunny I thought to myself. It is going to be one of those days I just know it.
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A client questioned whether I was white or dark skinned. You would think he is blind. It is obvious. I know I'm purple and red. :) Taking a breather here resisting replying.
Very silly man. I can tell his white and this is by his voice. He seen my photo.
Either he likes what he sees or he doesn't simple. I'm tempted to text back if he has a small dock or a medium or a large. And is he good in bed. Answer me this then will for him.
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I've had several clients ask me over the phone if I am asian..I guess the pics of a white blue eyed lady doesn't seem to register with them...
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My favourite thicko was the guy from Viva Street who thought that 'Caucasian' meant I was Thai...
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Even a child would know and these are grown adults. Things like this put me off clients. For playing dumbest. And I use natural photos.
The margority know but the few ask stupid questions. No wonder they pay for sex.
I am dark it is obvious blimy.... So in the end asked him to phone me. He phoned while writing this. :) Now was my chance to 've his teacher asking him what does he think?.
Then diverted him to my advert to try to learn. I'm not playing along with stupid questions.
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On cam last night some idiot on free chat said this
'Some girls wont even stand up in free chat. Must all the glue they sniff, makes them stick to the chair'
My reply ' yeah, cuz all whores are low life drug addicts, is that what youre saying?' The room went quiet and he quickly vanished. What a tosser
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Also on cam, a different tosser said this
Him- 'Stand up me me'
Me - i will in group
Him - go on, ive just got credit and it could all be yours
Me - nah, im also not gonna beg you for money
Idiot man
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One just phoned saying his std free would I consider bareback. No hell in a chance Matey. He can take his dirty cock else where. Feel sorry for those who offer bb. Luckily I have a reg due in 5 minutes. :)
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Someone I saw once said that he wouldn't be able to see me again. I said, "oh I see. I hope you take care." He booked again after three weeks. ???
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A client was looking at the poppers bottles I have on the side, I asked if he wanted to try them, he said "What are they?" I said "They give you an intense head rush, some people like to use them to help with anal..." He said in all seriousness "Oh right what do you do put them up their bum?" ;D
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Someone I saw once said that he wouldn't be able to see me again. I said, "oh I see. I hope you take care." He booked again after three weeks. ???
I need to respond like this hope you don't mind me borrowing. :)
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Of course :) I was frazzled, tired and worn out that day. I thought that was the reason. I know I shouldn't have been working lol
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While collecting my fee the wanker says "I hope I'm not supporting a drug habit" :FF
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While collecting my fee the wanker says "I hope I'm not supporting a drug habit" :FF
OMG I would say "likewise" :FF
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While collecting my fee the wanker says "I hope I'm not supporting a drug habit" :FF
I would have shoved his money back at him and told him to get out. What a wanker!
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While collecting my fee the wanker says "I hope I'm not supporting a drug habit" :FF
I would have said how is your wife?. Is she keeping you happy?. :)
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I am very pleased with myself after a client phoned me wanting a booking. He spoke with manners and respect. I sexily told him was getting showered soon and to think of me.
He said make sure you wash that pussy well... I am very clean but he assumes. So I paused for a few seconds then laughedcsaying and yes when you come here showering make sure you wash your cock good.
Next time one refers to be like this I'm just going to tell them to clean all that gunk around thier cock just for laughs. :):) So after this insult considering my come back I'm happy instead of being annoyed. :)
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I am very pleased with myself after a client phoned me wanting a booking. He spoke with manners and respect. I sexily told him was getting showered soon and to think of me.
He said make sure you wash that pussy well... I am very clean but he assumes. So I paused for a few seconds then laughedcsaying and yes when you come here showering make sure you wash your cock good.
Next time one refers to be like this I'm just going to tell them to clean all that gunk around thier cock just for laughs. :):) So after this insult considering my come back I'm happy instead of being annoyed. :)
Funny he made a booking today, they must like getting put straight.
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I don't think I would have seen him after that remark...but good for you for being positive x
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I've had a guy like that, every time he's booked he's asked "have you had a shower" and then he's asked for me to take a shower with him during the booking "before I lick ya pussy innit" which needless to say he hasn't done; he's just made a complete mess of my bathroom >:(
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Similar to these charmers, i had a guy attempt to wipe me with toilet paper before a 69 once. I informed him I've been managing it perfectly well all by myself since the year '69..
25 or so years before he was even born.. 8)
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I am very pleased with myself after a client phoned me wanting a booking. He spoke with manners and respect. I sexily told him was getting showered soon and to think of me.
He said make sure you wash that pussy well...
I would have cancelled that booking.
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Yes I would find emarks about me needing to wash well very insulting. I would cancel the booking end of.
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Halfway through a booking a young guy was quietly pounding away from behind when he suddenly chirped up in a serious tone: "Can you do me a favour and stop what you're doing" I said "What do you mean, moving?" He replied "Yes and stop making any noise as well" ...
It was on the tip of my tongue to say "What you mean be like a piece of meat? ! ;D
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A guy this week said he would bring his own towel because he couldn't be certain all my punters don't use the same one, I said forget the booking. Cheek!
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A client was fucking me about so i cancelled his appt. He did the usual 'please see me, i need to see you' blah blah blah. When i said no and stop harassing me, he text 'fine, im going to leave you negative feedback on aw because im one of the admin team'.
The silly brat didnt realise that he had met me before, when i was in a different area using a different name. I took that opportunity to remind him who i was and how i thought he was a guy and socked by his nasty ways and bullshit. He apologised and said he had a bad day. And carried on begging to see me! What a twat!
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He said make sure you wash that pussy well... I am very clean but he assumes. So I paused for a few seconds then laughedcsaying and yes when you come here showering make sure you wash your cock good...
Don't forget to add "and make sure you wash your arse crack properly. I don't want to find bits of shitty loo roll stuck there or get skid marks on my sheets. Oh, and don't forget to wash your pits and put deodorant on coz I don't want to be covered in smelly wet armpit sweat. And make sure your dental hygiene is up to scratch too". Or a simple "fuck off" ;D
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'Ooh you have a lovely clitty'
Eugh eugh eugh, dont call it a clitty! Its creepy!
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Had guy with no feedback funily enough, asking if I could prove I was HIV & STD free. Thought it was a wind up but he actually called & left a voicemail. Needless to say he sounded odd & asking for a reply to his email that I deleted. ::)
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Had guy with no feedback funily enough, asking if I could prove I was HIV & STD free. Thought it was a wind up but he actually called & left a voicemail. Needless to say he sounded odd & asking for a reply to his email that I deleted. ::)
Is his name Gary? ;D ;D
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I am pregnant and currently still working. The number of requests for bareback now are unreal but this morning one text asked if I will do bareback, because he is a married man so definitely clean. When I replied with just 'No' (because I have no patience for this question when my profile clearly states I don't offer it) he said 'I wouldn't normally ask but your pregnant so I know that you can't get pregnant again and are safe'
Do they think pregnancy is the only reason for protection! I find it really rude that they assume because I'm pregnant I would risk my health. I had one offer me 200 for half hour booking last week and when I refused he said you can't say no ?200 is a lot of money for a family with children. How dare he assume I'm so desperate just because I'm in this job. I told him I get plenty money doing the things I actually offer and I don't need his money :FF
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One phoned me not long ago asking for a discount for ?40 for half an hour. Because he is a George Clooney younger version. I polity declined then he said if you don't ask you don't get. What a cheek of him pouncing me off like an auction.
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One phoned me not long ago asking for a discount for ?40 for half an hour. Because he is a George Clooney younger version. I polity declined then he said if you don't ask you don't get. What a cheek of him pouncing me off like an auction.
Euggghhhhh I hate arrogant men. The whole point of the George Clooney thing is that he IS older. Jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Don't forget to add "and make sure you wash your arse crack properly. I don't want to find bits of shitty loo roll stuck there or get skid marks on my sheets. Oh, and don't forget to wash your pits and put deodorant on coz I don't want to be covered in smelly wet armpit sweat. And make sure your dental hygiene is up to scratch too". Or a simple "fuck off" ;D
I think there should be a government campaign to increase male awareness of hygiene, especially bum washing and teeth cleaning (just not at the same time) lol
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One asked if i do kinky service so asked him like pp what. His responce was a school girl and to put a bag over my head. I am over the moon these dick head leeches wont be around me much longer.
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I had a missed call there so returned it with a text 5 minutes later. He phoned I greeted then he said he can't picture me. What is this about?' Crikes he phoned me I wouldn't phone some one offering service and then act stupid like that. Within that time he couldn't get confused surly because he wouldn't have phoned many escorts after me.
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A client earlier this week asked why it's so difficult to get a booking with me, I said I limit myself to 3 to 4 clients per day, he advised me that I should see more clients and I'd earn more.
Ok pimp daddy!
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An 11am client yesterday said as he was getting ready to leave: "What will you do for the rest of the day, watch telly?" !!! Mind you the last time he came he said whilst showing me his empty wallet after handing over the 100 "You've just cleared me out!!"
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A client earlier this week asked why it's so difficult to get a booking with me, I said I limit myself to 3 to 4 clients per day, he advised me that I should see more clients and I'd earn more.
Ok pimp daddy!
I would have replied: "Whose the Daddy? You is the Daddy!!! lmao :-))
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Euggghhhhh I hate arrogant men. The whole point of the George Clooney thing is that he IS older. Jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Exactly and any famous look a likes still need to pay, it is a service provided. Any other than that I would rarther choose who I get intimate free with. These men just don't get it and never will. They all think we owe them by the way they carry on like.
They think they are god lol more like a wage that's all. But my respectable clients I like who treat me like woman should be.
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I very occasionally offer quickies, but only if I'm having a quiet day and it is definitely my shortest booking. A client I'd bet before texted me saying he knew my rate for 15 minutes (as he'd had that once before) he then asked if he could do 10 minutes for less than half than what I offer quickies for. I told him that clients don't get to choose my rates!
Another utter dickhead really wound me up the other day. After oral he said he hoped I enjoyed it. I said I did. But then he went on about it. He said he hated to think I was just doing this job because I was desperate for money. For some reason this really offended me because I felt like he wanted me to justify myself. The way he said it wound me up so badly I snapped, which I very rarely do.
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Had a text message this morning...
Hello I hope I bumped into you today as I wonder around Morrisons xxxx Brom! You are fit!!!
It wasn't me...lol
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Booking with a new guy, who came after about 7 seconds of oral and then was quite embarrassed about it.
Was having a chat with him after to try and ease his embarrassment and he told me this was his afternoon tea break and he was working at a festival which would be going on til 3am.
He named some of the artists playing, one of whom was a well-known rap artist.
Then he said "I've got nothing against coloured people, but..."
Dude, really? Who the fuck even says "coloured". The atmosphere became somewhat frosty and I encouraged him to get dressed and piss off.
:FF :FF :FF
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Had a guy yesterday kept telling me he picked me because i was ''plain''
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Text this morning,
Hi it's xxxxx, I saw you last week but left 10 mins early.
Any chance you could add that 10 mins on if I book for half hr again???
Errrr NO!!!
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I had a very twitchy client arrive today who asked if it was likely the police would burst in during the booking!
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Had a guy yesterday kept telling me he picked me because i was ''plain''
I've had a similar comment 'I like plain janes like yourself'!! After hez paid me countless times for sex then how do they pluck up the courage to say such things?! Honestly 1 day I WILL book a male escort & get my own back....lol
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I had a very twitchy client arrive today who asked if it was likely the police would burst in during the booking!
Oh god, I don't know if I could have stopped myself saying "Well, it has happened three times out of the last five bookings..."
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Oh god, I don't know if I could have stopped myself saying "Well, it has happened three times out of the last five bookings..."
God imagine!!! 1 client called me and asked, in all honesty, 'will I get attacked when I come to your flat'!!! I said 'aww yeah I've got a couple of hard nuts here with baseball bats....' ask a silly question & you'll get a silly answer!!
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A booking due soon was saying for his request to be slutty. I'm ok with that what bothers me when he said the he wants me to look cheap. It is what does it for him this was over the phone. I shouldn't be bothered. His seen me before but crikes.
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A client today who was lovely said as he was getting dressed 'Oh I feel sorry for you girls, you could get a bloke punching you or anything'
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A regular with 50-odd feedback:
Him: I see you've got a lot of feedback now
Me: yeah, well the profile is x years old, so that only averages 1 feedback a week.
Him: yeah, I suppose that doesn't make you look too bad, then
:-\
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A client today who was lovely said as he was getting dressed 'Oh I feel sorry for you girls, you could get a bloke punching you or anything'
Ah bless he hasn't got a clue has he lol
A new client yesterday was asking me about deep throat I said no I'm not into that, he then said (and the way he said it was as if it was a big secret he was going to share with me) "Ooh there is a way to do it so it goes down your throat without you feeling it, you just lay back on the bed head over the side look I'll show you"... Needless to say I showed not the slightest enthusiasm *rolls eyes* Then as he was fucking me from behind "Ooh have you done anal before you need to try it, I'm sure you would like it" Err no I think after 30 plus years of having sex and 'trying' all these 'new' things I'm sure I know by now what I like and don't!! lmao
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Oh I hate when they think they can teach you to suddenly 'like' something.It's as bad as Asian or Black dudes who ask you if you have slept with Asian/Black dudes before...no I'm a 37 year old worldy wise woman...you're the first Asian/Black dude I've ever been with and wow you are like so exotic and different to any other dude of any other ethic origin.. ::)
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I very occasionally offer quickies, but only if I'm having a quiet day and it is definitely my shortest booking. A client I'd bet before texted me saying he knew my rate for 15 minutes (as he'd had that once before) he then asked if he could do 10 minutes for less than half than what I offer quickies for. I told him that clients don't get to choose my rates!
Another utter dickhead really wound me up the other day. After oral he said he hoped I enjoyed it. I said I did. But then he went on about it. He said he hated to think I was just doing this job because I was desperate for money. For some reason this really offended me because I felt like he wanted me to justify myself. The way he said it wound me up so badly I snapped, which I very rarely do.
I have a regular who often says it , he means well and is old fashioned , but we have a love hate relationship that has grown ( used to drive me nuts)
I've told him off more times than I can count and last time he tried to re-word it " I really just can't understand why an intelligent woman like you has to do this " ( don't worry he has had numerous responses but that time I grabbed his money saying " right that's it OUT take your money and seriously GET OUT"
Don't know why it gets me so bad , like right under my skin , but he apologised no end and begged to stay , he's easy to make happy and now seems to have had a personality transplant.
He also always say " thanks for putting up with me " and brings beautiful gifts ...he's v cute really just old fashioned and can't get his head around me making an analytical decision to do this , I love it most of the time , it's rare I don't lol
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I see a guy often who, when I first started seeing him, wanted to make sure I am not just 'desperate for money'. I said 'no I enjoy sex' just to play the game. It is a game.
I wanted to say 'why the hell else would I be here????????' but that sort of kills it for these types haha ;D
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I see a guy often who, when I first started seeing him, wanted to make sure I am not just 'desperate for money'. I said 'no I enjoy sex' just to play the game. It is a game.
I wanted to say 'why the hell else would I be here????????' but that sort of kills it for these types haha ;D
I usually get asked 'what brought you into this job' & then I always say 'cash'!! Ffs a girl that is rich isn't going to start doing this job...When they ask why I do it I say 50% cash & 50% sex as I just find it really stupid to pretend that the money isn't the lure or at least a bit of it!! Its 100% the cash for me. Why do the clients ask why we got into it do you think? I'll never get my head around the fact that they think its the sex that brings us to the job.
Fair enough some girls like the sex part of it but I don't really think any girl becomes a hooker to have lots of sex with men of various shapes, sizes, heights, colours & economic backgrounds...Men that DON'T pay for it know the score.
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Why do the clients ask why we got into it do you think? I'll never get my head around the fact that they think its the sex that brings us to the job.
Two possible reasons:
1) They can't get turned on by someone they feel is acting because their EGO is big
2) They want to be purged of any guilt they feel about what they are about to do as they don't want to feel they are exploiting a woman who is desperate for money (even though we are exploiting their need for sex-debateable maybe 8))
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Two possible reasons:
1) They can't get turned on by someone they feel is acting because their EGO is big
2) They want to be purged of any guilt they feel about what they are about to do as they don't want to feel they are exploiting a woman who is desperate for money (even though we are exploiting their need for sex-debateable maybe 8))
Yes sounds about right, the thing is though I think we all sometimes get clients that are great looking, great dressers, have great jobs & great personalities and we basically think they are a catch & we may sometimes think 'why oh why does he pay for it' but at the end of the day they are paying for it so regardless of whether or not they are George Clooney or George Best then they are still just clients & they shouldn't take it so personally as its not about them but then tbh I reckon most clients (especially the ones that are 'catches') have low self esteem issues. Anyway I'm going way off topic (not like me!!! lolol) so I'll shut it now xx
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Yes sounds about right, the thing is though I think we all sometimes get clients that are great looking, great dressers, have great jobs & great personalities and we basically think they are a catch & we may sometimes think 'why oh why does he pay for it' but at the end of the day they are paying for it so regardless of whether or not they are George Clooney or George Best then they are still just clients & they shouldn't take it so personally as its not about them but then tbh I reckon most clients (especially the ones that are 'catches') have low self esteem issues. Anyway I'm going way off topic (not like me!!! lolol) so I'll shut it now xx
Great , some of them have really weird taboos but I'm truly fortunate as I've always had my own and that's getting f####d by ugly guys lol.
Totally true !
Rather take an ugly one over a ( I'm really fit , 6 pack lol!)
So when they tell me how hot they are puts me right off , wish I could add to my profile as my profile but need to word it lol
I get a lot of calls asking " if I'd mind seeing them as they're a bit chunky etc "
I'm " yep rather that than a six pack "
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Great , some of them have really weird taboos but I'm truly fortunate as I've always had my own and that's getting f####d by ugly guys lol.
Totally true !
Rather take an ugly one over a ( I'm really fit , 6 pack lol!)
So when they tell me how hot they are puts me right off , wish I could add to my profile as my profile but need to word it lol
I get a lot of calls asking " if I'd mind seeing them as they're a bit chunky etc "
I'm " yep rather that than a six pack "
Tbh I also find it difficult going with hot clients, some people may think thats wierd but I can't really explain why I feel like that but I have heard alot of girl's say the same...
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Same here. I think it's like a sort of kinky perversion I have. If a really good looking guy turns up, it puts me right off my stride. I don't like it. I have always been the same. I like older, sort of ugly men. I find it more of a turn on when a man is really grateful for the sex and the younger guys I find too much into themselves.
I think I am a bit odd though.
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I know what you mean Shewolf I'm like that with the older/shy ones. However perversely with my wg persona I feel really confident with the hot ones too! Unlike in civvy life...
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Same here. I think it's like a sort of kinky perversion I have. If a really good looking guy turns up, it puts me right off my stride. I don't like it. I have always been the same. I like older, sort of ugly men. I find it more of a turn on when a man is really grateful for the sex and the younger guys I find too much into themselves.
I think I am a bit odd though.
No your not odd at all, maybe its just because of the stigma attached to paying for sex that its in our subconscious that the clients should be unattractive if you get me?? I feel so self conscious with gorgeous clients!! Don't worry about it because alot of sw's feel the same.
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No your not odd at all, maybe its just because of the stigma attached to paying for sex that its in our subconscious that the clients should be unattractive if you get me?? I feel so self conscious with gorgeous clients!! Don't worry about it because alot of sw's feel the same.
Certainly not worried about it , in fact the opposite , I'm in a position where I pick and choose !!!
Can't stand the fake pratts lmfao
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Certainly not worried about it , in fact the opposite , I'm in a position where I pick and choose !!!
Can't stand the fake pratts lmfao
What do you mean by fake pratts??
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The ones I've had on phone , mailing this week , donuts ...I've had a skinful lol
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Client on Phone - Whats the difference between a half an hour booking and an hour
My response - 30 minutes
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Client on Phone - Whats the difference between a half an hour booking and an hour
My response - 30 minutes
Classic!! 😂😂😂
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Client on Phone - Whats the difference between a half an hour booking and an hour
My response - 30 minutes
Oh I've had how long is half an hour?It's all night..really??No it's 30 mins....
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I've also had 'Does my 30 mins start when I arrive?' This was after he had decided he couldn't do 45 mins...and when I said well yeah..he cancelled as he wanted more time..dickhead!
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Oh I've had how long is half an hour?It's all night..really??No it's 30 mins....
Yeah I've had someone say to me before "If I book half an hour can I stay as long as I want?" !!!
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Last night with long term reg who I'm quite fond of but only insofar as client/escort friendship...
Him: If i wasn't making a go of it with my wife, I'd be with you.
Nooooooooo!!!
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Last night with long term reg who I'm quite fond of but only insofar as client/escort friendship...
Him: If i wasn't making a go of it with my wife, I'd be with you.
Nooooooooo!!!
Delusional ::) I get a fair few like this. I find completely ignoring and changing the subject does the trick. On a few occasions I have had to say I don't do relationships with clients. Its like they view seeing an escort as a short cut to having a fuck buddy/girlfriend/relationship who of course always offers sex on tap.
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Delusional ::) I get a fair few like this. I find completely ignoring and changing the subject does the trick. On a few occasions I have had to say I don't do relationships with clients. Its like they view seeing an escort as a short cut to having a fuck buddy/girlfriend/relationship who of course always offers sex on tap.
Guy I see regularly said 'you are my kind of woman. If I wasn't with my partner, I would go out with you'.
Errr? Would I not get a say in this Mr Saggy Tits? Furtle off limp bum.
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Guy I saw last night for a BJ only booking.
"That's definitely the best blow job I've had all year. You should give lessons. Some girls just hate doing it and you can tell they're just going through the motions. Mind you, I can't blame them. I'd never go down on a woman. Eww, the thought of it."
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Guy I saw last night for a BJ only booking.
"That's definitely the best blow job I've had all year. You should give lessons. Some girls just hate doing it and you can tell they're just going through the motions. Mind you, I can't blame them. I'd never go down on a woman. Eww, the thought of it."
no words
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Guy I saw last night for a BJ only booking.
"That's definitely the best blow job I've had all year. You should give lessons. Some girls just hate doing it and you can tell they're just going through the motions. Mind you, I can't blame them. I'd never go down on a woman. Eww, the thought of it."
Hmmmm, should have told him that some escorts are better actresses than others ;D
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Guy I see regularly said 'you are my kind of woman. If I wasn't with my partner, I would go out with you'.
Errr? Would I not get a say in this Mr Saggy Tits? Furtle off limp bum.
Oh god I loved the furtle off cracked me up
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Oh god I loved the furtle off cracked me up
The 'limp bum' creased me up lol!
Yes I've had the 'I wish I had met you before I met my wife I would have been soooo happy now' err excuse me but don't I have a say in this as actually I don't even fancy let alone love you and was busy anyway with other people!!!!
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A long term regular client (but one of those 'see if only wanting a cash top up, due to his shitty attitude') always annoys me with his stupid idiotic comments, came out with the other day when I said I couldn't meet him Christmas day for a drink as I was cooking dinner..."Urg I bet its all frozen food anyway" I was so close to punching him straight in the face. lol
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I've had a couple of variants on:
"Do your parents/family know you do this? What would they think? Are they really strict?"
So tempted to reply:
"You can tell my mum and I'll tell your wife. What would she think?"
Do white girls get this?
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Yesterday one was being nosey asking about my family. I did ask him about his family, did he like it no. So from now on I just ask them intrusive questions teaching them a lesson.
They will soon stop asking personal questions. Give them a taste of their own medicine. They don't want to talk about their business. Usually nosey ones don't.
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I've had a couple of variants on:
"Do your parents/family know you do this? What would they think? Are they really strict?"
So tempted to reply:
"You can tell my mum and I'll tell your wife. What would she think?"
Do white girls get this?
lol if they do I'm sure it's far less frequent. I'm so tired of clients assuming my cultural practices or asking if my parents are arranging a marriage ::) ::)
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I've had a couple of variants on:
"Do your parents/family know you do this? What would they think? Are they really strict?"
So tempted to reply:
"You can tell my mum and I'll tell your wife. What would she think?"
Do white girls get this?
I am going to use that one on the next man who asks if my family/children know what I do. Good one! At least ask them if their wife or family knows he visits prostitutes.
One man asked if any of my family know and when I said yes he gave me the most horrible look. I wished I had lied.
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Conversation between me and a new client:
Client (enthusiastic) : "I feel a very strong connection with you!"
Me (I smile only, not knowing what to answer)
Client: "I am 100% certain that we have known each other before."
Me: "No, I do not think so"
Client (persisting in his idea): "I am absolutely sure of that."
Me (wanting to be conciliatory): "Maybe..."
Client: "We have known each other in a previous life, in a reincarnation, for sure."
Me (quizzical): "Really?"
Client: "Yes, I was a rich lord and you were my wife. I suspected that this could be the case as soon as I saw you. But now, I am completely sure because the connection between us is wonderful!"
What to respond to such a character? ;)
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One man asked if any of my family know and when I said yes he gave me the most horrible look. I wished I had lied.
How about, "What's your problem?" It's such a negative question to ask as if you are evil in some way. Personally, I would ditch any clients like that who make you feel bad.
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Iv'e been really poorly over the Christmas - Iv'e had Pleurisy which I think most people know affects your lungs. Nothing whatsoever to do with sex. I still don't feel well enough to work. Anyway I had a regular email me this morning asking for a booking. I emailed back to explain I'd had pleurisy and still wasn't working. He came back and said "OMG -I'd better get myself to the GUM-why didn't you tell me before". I know everyone is not a walking medical dictionary - but please.
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Iv'e been really poorly over the Christmas - Iv'e had Pleurisy which I think most people know affects your lungs. Nothing whatsoever to do with sex. I still don't feel well enough to work. Anyway I had a regular email me this morning asking for a booking. I emailed back to explain I'd had pleurisy and still wasn't working. He came back and said "OMG -I'd better get myself to the GUM-why didn't you tell me before". I know everyone is not a walking medical dictionary - but please.
OMG LMAO! :o
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pussywillow it might have been nice if the guy had wished you get well soon.
Silly man!
Luckily most of them aren't that thick eh.
Anyway I do hope you make a prompt and full recovery.
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Iv'e been really poorly over the Christmas - Iv'e had Pleurisy which I think most people know affects your lungs. Nothing whatsoever to do with sex. I still don't feel well enough to work. Anyway I had a regular email me this morning asking for a booking. I emailed back to explain I'd had pleurisy and still wasn't working. He came back and said "OMG -I'd better get myself to the GUM-why didn't you tell me before". I know everyone is not a walking medical dictionary - but please.
::) Good grief.
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Thanks Lushblossom. Yes it would indeed. Still if the idiot does take himself to the GUM - what a complete pratt he's gonna look. ;D
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Iv'e been really poorly over the Christmas - Iv'e had Pleurisy which I think most people know affects your lungs. Nothing whatsoever to do with sex. I still don't feel well enough to work. Anyway I had a regular email me this morning asking for a booking. I emailed back to explain I'd had pleurisy and still wasn't working. He came back and said "OMG -I'd better get myself to the GUM-why didn't you tell me before". I know everyone is not a walking medical dictionary - but please.
What an ignorant man! I would love to be a fly on the wall when he talks to the nurse.
My "they said what?" for today is the man who slobbers all over my mouth with his wet kisses (I let him do it as it is no problem) but when I go to kiss him before he leaves my front door he pulls back then turns his head so I can only kiss his cheek.
I know you may think he is trying to minimise any traces of perfume or lipstick/makeup from me but this man is single and he never even goes to the bathroom after the deed to wash at least his hands.
I asked him why he does not kiss me goodbye and he said "oh you know, best not to" !!!!! ??? >:(
After our session I always go to the bathroom to wash hands while he starts dressing,I do not do cim so nothing icky around my face or mouth etc.
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I found this amusing even more looking back on it now, this was during the festive period.
The client asked is that me in the photo and replied with yes it is Santa Clause. :) He then laughed then came to see me. I am going to make up things like this from now on to humor myself.
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I just replied "err I don't know, rogan josh I guess." Or something like that. It threw me a bit.
As a British Indian escort, clearly my world revolves around sex and curry.
I want MY world to revolve around sex and curry!
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Yesterday a new client came into my room and as he put his arms around me said "wow you look amazing! didn't expect this!"
Nice but then he followed that with "the best lady I have seen is Georgia from AgencyXX and she's a knockout!"
::)
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I want MY world to revolve around sex and curry!
Do Scottish ladies get asked if they love haggis?
::)
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So i did some damage to my ankle last year and get prescribed tramadol painkillers for when it acts up. I picked up a new prescription on the way to a hotel for work and left the box in view on the desk (alongside makeup hair straighteners etc) had a client come in. Chat. Take off coat and shoes and as he had the money in his hand about to hand to me snatched it back seeing the tramadol box and starts saying he cant believe he almost saw me when i had an sti and didnt even try to hide it by leaving the pills out. I told him what they were and he no joke wouldnt believe me until he had called nhs 111 for confirmation!
I actually did go through with the booking afterwards but wish i hadnt as he was a headache
They cant conprehend we might take medicine for anything other than an sti!!!
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I want MY world to revolve around sex and curry!
Amen
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So i did some damage to my ankle last year and get prescribed tramadol painkillers for when it acts up. I picked up a new prescription on the way to a hotel for work and left the box in view on the desk (alongside makeup hair straighteners etc) had a client come in. Chat. Take off coat and shoes and as he had the money in his hand about to hand to me snatched it back seeing the tramadol box and starts saying he cant believe he almost saw me when i had an sti and didnt even try to hide it by leaving the pills out. I told him what they were and he no joke wouldnt believe me until he had called nhs 111 for confirmation!
I actually did go through with the booking afterwards but wish i hadnt as he was a headache
They cant conprehend we might take medicine for anything other than an sti!!!
Yep they can be completely dopey lol.
I'm on prescription meds but I hide them and pull labels off because they have my name printed on them .
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i got "you're alright, for a whore" which i get banter sometimes but this guy was dead serious.... xx
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i got "you're alright, for a whore" which i get banter sometimes but this guy was dead serious.... xx
hmmmm...possible reply: "you're alright...for a john"
!! shocking
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Seriously? Disgraceful. Hope his Karma Bus will hit him soon.
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I see a guy quite regularly. He is arrogant. Last week he said that the difference between us was one of education.
I bet I have just as many qualifications as he does.
He is a man who has openly admitted he didn't take his responsibilities with his family seriously enough when his children were little. Therein lies the real difference between us and why I need to do this work.
Hence, I've gone off the twat.
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How sad. Charmless. Such negativity. Block. :)
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Do you do sex without condom he texted even after giving him a lesson about the risks he replied with it feels better without. I have no time for these irresponsible idiots.
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A client told me he was a drug dealer and tired to sell me drugs about 3 times throughout the booking. He told me he liked me because i was ''obedient'' (ew) and finally pointed to my self harm scars and said ''who did that? If you ever get in any trouble tell me and i'll fucking fuck them in the arse''
I hate when they comment on my scars :( another guy said it looked like someone had attacked me with a machete >:(
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A client I met last week said to me he wishes his wife would hurry up and "kick the bucket" so he can punt in peace! I was so shocked, he then started laughing and said people don't get his humour! No shit!!
Had this one arrogant client who was constantly patronising me and saying things like "people your age have no experience or ambition blah blah blah" he told me he was 49, but I think he was probably a little older than that. Anyway after the sex, he said "I didn't think youngsters like you knew how to have sex, I'm surprised" my response was "Really? I didn't think men of your age could stay hard for that long" his face was a picture haha! I would never insult clients just like that, but this one was constantly moaning about young people, I don't know how I managed to be so calm for the hour.
Since then he's tried to book me again about three times. I'm always fully booked ;)
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A client I met last week said to me he wishes his wife would hurry up and "kick the bucket" so he can punt in peace! I was so shocked, he then started laughing and said people don't get his humour! No shit!!
Had this one arrogant client who was constantly patronising me and saying things like "people your age have no experience or ambition blah blah blah" he told me he was 49, but I think he was probably a little older than that. Anyway after the sex, he said "I didn't think youngsters like you knew how to have sex, I'm surprised" my response was "Really? I didn't think men of your age could stay hard for that long" his face was a picture haha! I would never insult clients just like that, but this one was constantly moaning about young people, I don't know how I managed to be so calm for the hour.
Since then he's tried to book me again about three times. I'm always fully booked ;)
Lmao excellent response , what a twat he sounds older just by his lack of understanding , I have a couple of older guys who can't get away from the opinion that it's an only option for some women/ girls and not as in my case an analytical decision based on logic.
It's usually the ones who have no idea that we get /are busy and assume we only get the odd booking a week , bless us poor things ( ooh winds me up just thinking about it lol)!
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I also have the opposite mainly younger or same age who know it's lucrative and treat me that way , they will say " how's business" but only guys I know well and are business men themselves, not nosey ones or who want to know too much but in a respectful way eg I could answer , bit slower due to that crash/ snow on the so and so motorway , it's genuine chit chat but like I said I know them well and I also know what business they're in , so it's a two way convo .
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Had this one arrogant client who was constantly patronising me and saying things like "people your age have no experience or ambition blah blah blah" he told me he was 49, but I think he was probably a little older than that. Anyway after the sex, he said "I didn't think youngsters like you knew how to have sex, I'm surprised" my response was "Really? I didn't think men of your age could stay hard for that long" his face was a picture haha! I would never insult clients just like that, but this one was constantly moaning about young people, I don't know how I managed to be so calm for the hour.
That truly baffles me: If he felt youngsters dont know how to have sex, why would he book/spend xxx money on one?!?
Excellent response btw haha!
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I forgot this gem from a couple of weeks ago.
Client had asked me when booking if I could please wear casual clothes and "plain" underwear. I said well I've got some black lace underwear, that's about as plain as it gets, and I can wear jeans and a t-shirt. He said yes please.
He turns up at the door, obviously into the whole "girl next door" thing which is fine. Then he says "This is great, you just look like a normal person."
YES BECAUSE REALLY I'M AN ABNORMAL WHORE. Dick.
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It hasn't happened for a while but I get annoyed inside when I hear "you are quite intelligent aren't you?"
So while wondering about the question within a statement I want to to respond with some clever answer which will floor them. Any ideas? So far I have just smiled and ignored it.
While writing I remembered this one too, a haughty stuck up man was chatting with me and he mentioned a long word which a) he assumed I did not understand, but I did and
b) he began to spell it out loud!!! I shut him up in a second with that one! Told him I could spell thank you.
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"Yes intelligent enough to work out I can earn in 4 hours what some people have to work 40 to get".
I have used that one myself when getting the 'Your too nice and too smart to be doing this hun' type bollocks.
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I feel they are trying to be nice when they say this stuff. They are sincerely surprised to see that we are "normal". But they just do not realize they're insulting us.
When this happens to me, I answer this: "and I thought you were smart enough not to believe all the prejudices about sexworkers."
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another guy said it looked like someone had attacked me with a machete >:(
What a horrible piece of work!!! >:(
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"How's things in your little World"? He then banged on about how "qualified he was to say if woman is hot or not & how hot" ::) Said he's ex footballer who works in global communications, yeah yeah, couldn't get the nob to shut up so I just left him waffling on whilst I counted down the minutes. Was tempted to throw him out at the first comment but it ad been a slow day.
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Client asks for anal and tells me to rim him, even though I don't offer those services. I ignore his request for rimming, and tells me again. At the end of the booking, he overstays by 15 minutes mostly because he won't stop telling me what a respectful punter he is and how he scrutinises profiles to make sure he knows what services are on offer.
Me: But you asked for rimming and anal. I don't advertise that.
Him: I could tell that you are a dirty girl. I know that if you put it on your profile, you have to offer it to every Tom, Dick and Harry.
Me (looking baffled): ...what?
Him: Have you never heard of the expression 'Tom, Dick and Harry'?
Me: I have, just....nevermind.
I really had to hold myself back from asking why he thought he was better than my other clients. He is every Tom, Dick and Harry!
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What a cockwomble! ;D
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At the end of the booking, he overstays by 15 minutes mostly because he won't stop telling me what a respectful punter he is and how he scrutinises profiles to make sure he knows what services are on offer.
There are punters like this, I always end up not seeing because I haven't got any patience for these sad (who think escorts are well below them) people, who expect RIMMING when it's not even on offer. I recent had a very "respectable" client, who told me himself how arrogant *many* "punters/men" are towards escorts (he didn't say all men are) and he finds it quite shocking. He was a very nice client, who said that. I try not to think about it (and try to think in their shoes more). But I was surprised by what he said and it sounded like he felt strongly about it.
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One just said to me while enquiring why he should pick me among the rest omg. How arrogant these men are getting. Well I told him where to go polity but was thinking f#ck right off.
Many who are genuine don't say that like it is competition. I'm not desperate for his custom.
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MD :o I need to learn some serious skills to stay calm. ;D
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MD :o I need to learn some serious skills to stay calm. ;D
I told him over text message but the odd time I do let it slip by mistake. I need to practice more Lucie. Usually I am annoyed but think business like to Keep the flow going kind of.
An update.....
The Client phoned me a minute ago apologizing and is looking for a booking tomorrow. It helped a lot I can relax now but did say to him calmly if I said to him what sets him better than time wasters. To see it from another prospective. He was like he understands..... Thank God the way to get clients to see this wrong they are is to do back to them.
An early night is in order. :)
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Older client is playing with my breasts and says "I suppose you are too young to have had these under a mammogram, aren't you?"
The same guy books me and another escort a few weeks ago for a threesome. The other escort and I look quite similar.
Him: You two could be sisters!
Escort: If we were sisters, I wouldn't be able to fuck her.
Him: No, no. You could still fuck each other.
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Older client is playing with my breasts and says "I suppose you are too young to have had these under a mammogram, aren't you?"
The same guy books me and another escort a few weeks ago for a threesome. The other escort and I look quite similar.
Him: You two could be sisters!
Escort: If we were sisters, I wouldn't be able to fuck her.
Him: No, no. You could still fuck each other.
:o :o
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I took a call the other day and knew within a moment I did not want to meet him. Just something about his way of talking. I said sorry but I was fully booked.
"so plenty of fucks for you then eh?" I just cut him off and was glad my instinct was right.
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My favourite thicko was the guy from Viva Street who thought that 'Caucasian' meant I was Thai...
A paki guy thought "Caucasian" means English.
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A paki guy thought "Caucasian" means English.
That's a bit of a derogatory term, Nia.
I've found quite a few men don't understand what ethnicity means.
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Am I the only one who doesnt appreciate being called a dirty bitch?
The first guy who called me that in a meeting, I didnt have the confidence to put him right and when he left he said I dont want a kiss or cuddle, Im just going to leave. Talk about cold as ice! I felt numb for a good 30 mins after he left then decided to call it a night and I blocked him one time....
Its happened 2 more times (with two other guys) and I told them straight up, Im not a dirty bitch so dont call me one! They apologised but it just doenst sit right with me. Its like a guy cumming in your mouth without asking if its okay first....
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No, you're not the only one...
In Montreal, a client has already told me : "Tu n'est qu'une sale pute!" This is roughly the French equivalent of : "You're just a dirty bitch!"
I replied: "Je n'osais pas te le dire mais je vais te le dire maintenant. Moi je pense que tu n'es qu'un sale abruti. Alors va-t-en et je ne veux plus jamais te revoir! "
(translation)
"I dared not tell you, but I will tell you now. I think you're just a dirty asshole. So go away and I never want to see you again!"
I think he was surprised by my reaction.
I am always amazed by these people who think, because we sell our body, we are worth nothing and can be treated like shit.
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I've got a regular, he is the funniest client ever, always talks about bringing his mum and making her worship my other foot, saying she would take the day off work just to get ready to come and see me, time flies with him, he has me in absolute stitches, I look forward to him coming when he rings, I think I'm as weird as him lol
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"That was good I will use you again"
I know they use us and use our services but he said it with a certain expression on his face which made me want to slap him. He has not "used" me again so far and that was around 18 months ago.
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Today I had the curiosity of watching a webcam site with girls from the Philippines. And I surprised the following conversation between a webcam girl and a client...
I did a screenshot and copy it word for word:
Client: Why here?
Client: in sex-cam, why?
Client: you are a nice girl, but why in sex-cam with your body?
Girl: I don't know.
Client: sorry, I don't understand your life. What can I do?
Girl: What can you do? Just mind ur own business
Girl: Thats better u can do
Client: sorry, good luck
Girl: bye
I find that this kind of conversation reveals a lot about the mentality of some men and the society in which we live!
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In he comes and all seems fine. Chit chat ensues and he blurts out
Am here cos the wife is having her chemo and she's useless in the bedroom just now!
I carried on with the (half hr) booking but it was one of those times when you are pulling faces behind his back.
Vile
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In he comes and all seems fine. Chit chat ensues and he blurts out
Am here cos the wife is having her chemo and she's useless in the bedroom just now!
I carried on with the (half hr) booking but it was one of those times when you are pulling faces behind his back.
Vile
I really don't know why they feel the need to tell us these details. I had one say he wanted to come by after dropping his wife off at the hospital, and another say timing was difficult for him because his wife is about to have a baby. Why do we need to know that??????
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I can only assume they think because we do this sex work we have zero feelings/compassion/guilt etc.
If I voiced my true opinions and feelings with clients I would lose a large number of them overnight. Being calm and diplomatic and listening to stuff we despise is what makes this job stressful, not the physical bit!
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I can only assume they think because we do this sex work we have zero feelings/compassion/guilt etc.
If I voiced my true opinions and feelings with clients I would lose a large number of them overnight. Being calm and diplomatic and listening to stuff we despise is what makes this job stressful, not the physical bit!
That's true. I think a lot of them use us as their dumping ground for all their emotional baggage. It can be really draining.
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Him,,,, "so young lady (I'm really not that young) do you have a little room somewhere?" also "you know you really should start saving to get yourself on the property ladder, real life isn't all about designer handbags and nice shoes"
No you patronising old wanker, I only own one designer handbag, (because I'm a bit tight) oh and I also own a little house in a very nice area and an apartment on the South Island of New Zealand!!!!!
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;D ;D ;D That cheered me up. "We ain't wasting our money on sex, dear. "
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;D
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To set the scene, a new client who told me has a sex addiction problem. Seemed to get off on degrading/debasing me (verbally). Doesn't bother me, he's paying and my self-confidence is strong enough not to be affected by his kink.
Him: You're a dirty little whore aren't you? You love my cock in your mouth don't you?
Me: Mmm-hmm (since his cock is in my mouth I can't exactly speak)
Him: I bet a client has just forced his big cock in your throat before hasn't he?
Me: Mmm-hmm
Him: And what did you do?!
Me: <spitting his cock out> I punched him in the bollocks.
Him: <erection wilt>
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To set the scene, a new client who told me has a sex addiction problem. Seemed to get off on degrading/debasing me (verbally). Doesn't bother me, he's paying and my self-confidence is strong enough not to be affected by his kink.
Him: You're a dirty little whore aren't you? You love my cock in your mouth don't you?
Me: Mmm-hmm (since his cock is in my mouth I can't exactly speak)
Him: I bet a client has just forced his big cock in your throat before hasn't he?
Me: Mmm-hmm
Him: And what did you do?!
Me: <spitting his cock out> I punched him in the bollocks.
Him: <erection wilt>
LEGEND
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To set the scene, a new client who told me has a sex addiction problem. Seemed to get off on degrading/debasing me (verbally). Doesn't bother me, he's paying and my self-confidence is strong enough not to be affected by his kink.
Him: You're a dirty little whore aren't you? You love my cock in your mouth don't you?
Me: Mmm-hmm (since his cock is in my mouth I can't exactly speak)
Him: I bet a client has just forced his big cock in your throat before hasn't he?
Me: Mmm-hmm
Him: And what did you do?!
Me: <spitting his cock out> I punched him in the bollocks.
Him: <erection wilt>
Brilliant, haha!
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Ha ha VC ;D
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We'll done VC. >:( ;D
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This morning's guy (older man I see maybe once a year or less) who I had in my records as doesn't kiss or do anything to me
asks me what I like in bed? No stupid answers from me although I was tempted. Why did he ask when he is not going to do any of them? He does not even touch me on top of my knickers never mind inside them. Yes maybe he just wanted to hear what I like from other men but if he is not going to do them then he's not getting the response he wants from me.
I just said oh anything a man wants to do I am open to suggestions, or some twaddle like that.
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Guy I see regularly said 'you are my kind of woman. If I wasn't with my partner, I would go out with you'.
Errr? Would I not get a say in this Mr Saggy Tits? Furtle off limp bum.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Me: (after sex) Anyway what you up to this weekend?
Client: My granddaughter coming. Would you like to pop in for a chat? She is the same age as you....
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Ended up in a text/email chat with a potential client that was going on for a few days before I got to his town... we were all friendly and having quite an intellectual conversation about a range of topics. That was until this happened....
Him: So when we finally meet up are you cool to play really rough full on PSE?
Me: To be honest I've had a bit of a bad run lately so I'm not playing rough. Totally understand if you want to see another girl (and maybe you should so you can make sure you have a good time).
Him: It's all good baby. We can just do a romantic gentle PSE.
Me: Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron?
Him: You're so rude, there is no need to take your moronic mood on me. I haven't been rude to you so don't call me a moron. I'm blocking you don't ever contact me again, go back to the country you come from.
Ummmm? I didn't call you a moron, but...... :FF
LMAO!!!!
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Oh my goodness ha ha ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Me: (after sex) Anyway what you up to this weekend?
Client: My granddaughter coming. Would you like to pop in for a chat? She is the same age as you....
Arrrgh :o :o ::)
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One of my early clients who booked me for an oral only session, been quite annoying and didn't clean properly.
"I thought you said you could deepthroat, you didn't deepthroat me."
"Honey, I can't deepthroat what isn't there."
Shockingly he actually came back and is a better behaved reg now.
"Is that you're natural hair colour?" I just stared at him. My hair is dyed an obviously fake bright unnatural colour.
From a potential client: "Does the carpet match the drapes?"
"I have hardwood floors." I'm clean shaven, but it's hilarious as they try to work out whether I'm implying I have a cock.
"Can you fake an orgasm?"
"I used to work phone sex lines, what do you think?"
"Prove it."
*Cue faking orgasm noises*
"Is it weird that I feel both highly emasculated and turned on right now?"
"What's the weirdest thing a client's ever asked you to do?"
"Asked me to talk about other clients."
"Does your boyfriend want to join us for a threesome?"
"You couldn't afford him."
"You're not like most English girls."
"Probably because I'm Irish."
"Stop squirting!"
"Take the wand off my clit and I'll stop!"
"What do you tell your kids about you doing this work?"
"Who are you and how did you get in my home." (I don't have kids, the client knew this).
A regular: "That was amazing, you should go out with me."
"Hush, let's not ruin this wonderful thing we have going."
...I'm probably a bit too sarcastic with clients and potential clients.
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One of my early clients who booked me for an oral only session, been quite annoying and didn't clean properly.
"I thought you said you could deepthroat, you didn't deepthroat me."
"Honey, I can't deepthroat what isn't there."
Shockingly he actually came back and is a better behaved reg now.
"Is that you're natural hair colour?" I just stared at him. My hair is dyed an obviously fake bright unnatural colour.
From a potential client: "Does the carpet match the drapes?"
"I have hardwood floors." I'm clean shaven, but it's hilarious as they try to work out whether I'm implying I have a cock.
"Can you fake an orgasm?"
"I used to work phone sex lines, what do you think?"
"Prove it."
*Cue faking orgasm noises*
"Is it weird that I feel both highly emasculated and turned on right now?"
"What's the weirdest thing a client's ever asked you to do?"
"Asked me to talk about other clients."
"Does your boyfriend want to join us for a threesome?"
"You couldn't afford him."
"You're not like most English girls."
"Probably because I'm Irish."
"Stop squirting!"
"Take the wand off my clit and I'll stop!"
"What do you tell your kids about you doing this work?"
"Who are you and how did you get in my home." (I don't have kids, the client knew this).
A regular: "That was amazing, you should go out with me."
"Hush, let's not ruin this wonderful thing we have going."
...I'm probably a bit too sarcastic with clients and potential clients.
I love this post!! :D ;D This thread is clearly your spiritual home :D
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I love this post!! :D ;D This thread is clearly your spiritual home :D
That's just the tip of the iceberg. I say so much shit to clients, I'm surprised any of them come back. My friends have begged me to start a twitter account, but I'm struggling to come up with a sassy handle that's not too on the nose.
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Please, twitter needs you, would enjoy this on my feed
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God yes, please join Twitter! i say similar things to clients when my filter is off!
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Some more from the last couple of days.
"Being nearly twice your age, I'm of course much more experienced, but you'll know this when you're my age."
Raises eyebrow. "Dude, you've hired me to teach you how to spank."
"I've got quite a large cock, you sure you'll be able to suck it?"
"Better hope so, if I can't fit it in my mouth, no way it's going in my pussy."
"I think 50 shades of Grey typifies what all women really want."
"Oh my sweet summer child...no, just no."
"Maybe we could try bareback next time?"
"Okay fine... I won't put a condom on the strap on when I fuck you."
"Awesome...Wait, what?!"
While out for dinner with a client, note I don't drink (personal choice).
"Have a glass of wine with me?"
"I don't drink when I'm working."
"Surely this isn't work. We're just having fun."
"You really have no idea just how annoying you are, do you?"
I currently have an inflamed eye after a booking gave me an unexpected facial, resulting in me banning facials until it goes down.
"I know you said you're not letting anyone do it right now, but I can come on your face, right?"
*pops cock out of mouth* "Not if you want to live."
"Be honest with me, you masturbate thinking about me don't you?"
"Not even for a second."
"Can you fake squirting for me?"
"You realise you're asking me to piss in your face?"
"What?!"
"How else do you expect me to conjure up fluid without you putting the effort in? Grab a bottle and randomly splash you with it?"
"I want to watch your boyfriend fuck you."
"I'm not sure you'd recover from seeing yourself so thoroughly out performed."
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"I've got quite a large cock, you sure you'll be able to suck it?"
"Better hope so, if I can't fit it in my mouth, no way it's going in my pussy."
"Maybe we could try bareback next time?"
"Okay fine... I won't put a condom on the strap on when I fuck you."
"Awesome...Wait, what?!"
"Can you fake squirting for me?"
"You realise you're asking me to piss in your face?"
"What?!"
"How else do you expect me to conjure up fluid without you putting the effort in? Grab a bottle and randomly splash you with it?"
:D ;D :D
Loved ALL your post, but cropped down to my faves that made me properly LOL!!
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One just phone me I was polite then he said can he just let me know he has got a big cock is that ok?. I replied with sure those who brag about thier cock size don't come for a booking. He laughed and said That he was just letting me know.
I replied yes I am letting him know too in a friendly voice. Then said please phone me 30 minutes before he would like. He laughed as I caught him out.
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Will you do MMF for me? Have you thought about this yet? Any more thoughts?
IGNORED. (MMF isn't on my enjoy list.)
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A client earlier was indesisive about booking for friday uming and aring. So I said if he wasnt sure about a booking nor am I it works both ways. If he had a bad experience with another I'm not going to craddle him like a baby lol.
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Unusual for me but it has been silly week so far and although I have had a couple of bookings so on track I am losing my patience with the inane emails and texts.
Today I had a man text me with a 2 word question "you free" and I replied that he needed to phone me, but did not expect him to call. Next text said his phone is blocked. I ignored and then he rang! WTF!
He was already doomed but didn't know it and his next question clinched it "will anyone see me if I come to visit you?"
I had to reply "yes me" and he was hopeless, no clue at my sarcasm so then asked would I give my full address over the phone before he set off. All chance of him turning up was now gone so I heard myself say "yeah fine I am at number 69 in the building which is next to the other building and they are in GetLost Road.
He didn't respond when I then cut him off. ::)
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A client earlier was indesisive about booking for friday uming and aring. So I said if he wasnt sure about a booking nor am I it works both ways. If he had a bad experience with another I'm not going to craddle him like a baby lol.
Who would? An indecisive man.
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Who would? An indecisive man.
Yes hun he was fanny farting around, I used to tolerate it reassuring them. No way now I love being outspoken with the guys. No shy away me. Tell them the score. :)
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Being assertive is definitely underrated. Good for you. I did the same today. Felt so much better after being messed around by someone else. ;D ;D xx
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Been a bit of a week for stupid questions. Got asked if I was ok seeing a married man. Another one asked if I had condoms and a third asked if he had to bring his own towel for a shower. :FF :FF :FF
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Been a bit of a week for stupid questions. Got asked if I was ok seeing a married man. Another one asked if I had condoms and a third asked if he had to bring his own towel for a shower. :FF :FF :FF
Quick thinking needed there, I would have been tempted to say no you don't need to bring your own towel but you will need to bring your own water.
;D
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Quick thinking needed there, I would have been tempted to say no you don't need to bring your own towel but you will need to bring your own water.
;D
I had brain fog by that time though the married guy - I just said "just re-read that question back to yourself love" He did not reply!
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Client says "It's bad I know but I'm only in town for a family party"
Me: "So what did you say, you're popping out to B&Q?"
Him: HOW DID YOU KNOW
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Client says "It's bad I know but I'm only in town for a family party"
Me: "So what did you say, you're popping out to B&Q?"
Him: HOW DID YOU KNOW
Like what the literal fuck?
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I've always said, if you want to be busy at the weekends, rent a working flat near a large DIY store :D Most commonly used excuse in my experience!
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He asked my availability for today I told him I don't have any left and then he sent me this shocker.
Not free tonight I need a young girl with bigger tits than my missus she is 26aa totally no tits tonight to enjoy I'll make it worth your while
I replied sorry I don't see disrespectful people.
What else can you say to that?! What an ass!
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"I'm interested in making a booking in late August or early September after my holidays. Could you give me your postcode so that I can start making plans?"
He has literally hundreds of positive feedbacks and I believe he's loaded. But I don't fancy getting several messages in one day, leading to September. He was "supposed" to be going to XYZ today as he told me and I said, "have a nice time". He should not have enough time to keep messaging me all day but he has (likely he was lying). I'm thinking of just blocking him. No explanation would be needed for this inconsiderate man! I really do hate "rich" men who think others are serfs who toil for nothing. He's old enough to be wiser. ::)
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Text enquiry from a so called 'I'm new and nervous' client..asked if he should do anything in the mean time (he's supposedly coming to see me next week..)
I asked like what and he replied with 'Well I suppose I should be clean when I come to play?'
I replied with 'Seriously do I need to tell you to shower and wash your cock before our booking next week?!?'
WTF?!?
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New client phones asking for a role play booking and I say yes fine please give me some idea of which role play. Secretary asking for pay rise one is what he wants and I have done this so many times so no probs. He then asks can we have a lot of dialogue leading up to the sex. Yes of course I say, but he then wants to know if it can be around 30mins of lead up verbal only teasing and then the real hour booking (sex) can start?
Basically he wanted a one hour role play booking but wanted a free half hour first.
I turned him down.
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New client phones asking for a role play booking and I say yes fine please give me some idea of which role play. Secretary asking for pay rise one is what he wants and I have done this so many times so no probs. He then asks can we have a lot of dialogue leading up to the sex. Yes of course I say, but he then wants to know if it can be around 30mins of lead up verbal only teasing and then the real hour booking (sex) can start?
Basically he wanted a one hour role play booking but wanted a free half hour first.
I turned him down.
Chancer!! The role play was all about a pay rise so then he's trying to pay less for his booking??!! ???
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Fun ones today, first day back on comms after taking a few days off (family bereavement).
"I know you put on your profile that you've just suffered a bereavement, but would you be up for sucking my cock this evening?" (This was the day after I put it up)
*Two days later* "Obviously I was not."
Spent a few days chatting with a client, booking went smoothly, didn't hear anything. A week later:
"Hey, I know I said I'd be back, but I won't be."
"Cool, I'll delete your number."
"I just thought you should know."
"No problemo."
"It's just, you're not my type."
"Right back atcha buddy."
I'm honestly wondering if he's finally clocked I taught him a few years back (uni), because I could understand him getting weird after that.
"So bareback?"
"Nooope."
"Care to explain why?"
"Look bareback takes a certain level of trust, it's not just for my health, but yours too. Different STDs have different periods at which they can be detected."
"Which is why you'll be safe. You're like the other girls who've done it with me."
"If she'll do it with you, she'll do it with anyone. And that's why you'll be keeping it wrapped."
Honest to god, do these guys believe they're the only one a girl is doing bb if she agrees to do bb with them? That's some new level naivety.
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"So bareback?"
"Nooope."
"Care to explain why?"
"Look bareback takes a certain level of trust, it's not just for my health, but yours too. Different STDs have different periods at which they can be detected."
"Which is why you'll be safe. You're like the other girls who've done it with me."
"If she'll do it with you, she'll do it with anyone. And that's why you'll be keeping it wrapped."
Honest to god, do these guys believe they're the only one a girl is doing bb if she agrees to do bb with them? That's some new level naivety.
Absolute mugs. I had one guy ask for bareback in the booking and I firmly refused, he then moaned that other girls do it. I was thinking, so you've just told me you make unprotected sex a habit and you think telling me that makes me more likely to do it with you?
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I've had a client say that in a booking and he looked rather crestfallen when I said 'Thanks for informing me that you often have unprotected sex now you can have oral with a condom as well as a condom for sex or you can leave but I won't be seeing you again after this session,the very fact you are asking me is enough to put me off'.
He ended up leaving early... :)
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Absolute mugs. I had one guy ask for bareback in the booking and I firmly refused, he then moaned that other girls do it. I was thinking, so you've just told me you make unprotected sex a habit and you think telling me that makes me more likely to do it with you?
1+. No civilised or educated reply to these "Douchebags". "Take your sleazy ass out of my door, immediately"
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I have had clients who asked me "I bet you have done the odd bareback though" type of questions. These men take all my powers of keeping calm and diplomatic until the end of the booking.
Men who I may have had several bookings with have then told me of certain sps local to me who have done unprotected and while I have no way of knowing if true (if these women are not advertising it) I stop seeing those men as how do they know she/they have done it? Am not interested in questioning them as to how they are sure but know in my head it is the last time I will see them.
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I have had clients who asked me "I bet you have done the odd bareback though" type of questions. These men take all my powers of keeping calm and diplomatic until the end of the booking.
Men who I may have had several bookings with have then told me of certain sps local to me who have done unprotected and while I have no way of knowing if true (if these women are not advertising it) I stop seeing those men as how do they know she/they have done it? Am not interested in questioning them as to how they are sure but know in my head it is the last time I will see them.
I used to do 2somes with a local lady but on one with a regular of hers she went bb I never did another 3some with her after that and advised her to go to the GUM clinic which she said she did but she had been working 30 years on and off and had never had a sexual health check. I find it amazing that someone can take such risks then not even look after their health and her answer of I only do bb with regulars does she really think they only see her.
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I'm sick of guys saying it's their first time booking an escort and seeming to think that excuses being a dick so I just advise them to google 'how to book an escort' now. There is plenty of guidance and advice out there for these guys. I think they just say it so they can push boundaries. >:(
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I'm sick of guys saying it's their first time booking an escort and seeming to think that excuses being a dick so I just advise them to google 'how to book an escort' now. There is plenty of guidance and advice out there for these guys. I think they just say it so they can push boundaries. >:(
It's a pain in the arse. There's plenty of info out there if they want to do their research, plus I feel like my profile is clear enough with instructions that a newbie shouldn't have a problem. I think it's just an excuse for them to faff about.
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He asked my availability for today I told him I don't have any left and then he sent me this shocker.
Not free tonight I need a young girl with bigger tits than my missus she is 26aa totally no tits tonight to enjoy I'll make it worth your while
I replied sorry I don't see disrespectful people.
What else can you say to that?! What an ass!
There is no such sizing as 26aa. He is an idiot.
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Email via AW.
My profile states I work 6am to 8pm and don't do residential outcalls.
Subject: Read your profile, last minuet enquiry, ?300
Hi, I've seen that your in a hotel in xxx, an I know this is cheeky on two accounts that your status is not set to a sliver [guess a typo for available], and your notes about outcalls.
But my enquiry is this. My apartment is at xxx, close to most hotels, I'm feeling particularly lazy and I'm never a fan of going where they may be CCTV. So would you consider an outcall for 1 hour. ?300. Including OWO, deepthroat, CIM, facial, protected sex. Looking for a very sloppy drooling blowjob, if your ok with that. If you don't get back to me I understand. Not looking to waste your time just a cheeky enquiry. I can call you to confirm I'm not a psycho if you do respond. Time of outcall 00:30 tonight, short notice, sorry.
Anyway thanks for your time.
Oh so reassuring to know that you'll "confirm" you're not a psycho murderer by... phoning me.
This was sent at 10 to midnight ::)
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Email via AW.
My profile states I work 6am to 8pm and don't do residential outcalls.
Subject: Read your profile, last minuet enquiry, ?300
Hi, I've seen that your in a hotel in xxx, an I know this is cheeky on two accounts that your status is not set to a sliver [guess a typo for available], and your notes about outcalls.
But my enquiry is this. My apartment is at xxx, close to most hotels, I'm feeling particularly lazy and I'm never a fan of going where they may be CCTV. So would you consider an outcall for 1 hour. ?300. Including OWO, deepthroat, CIM, facial, protected sex. Looking for a very sloppy drooling blowjob, if your ok with that. If you don't get back to me I understand. Not looking to waste your time just a cheeky enquiry. I can call you to confirm I'm not a psycho if you do respond. Time of outcall 00:30 tonight, short notice, sorry.
Anyway thanks for your time.
Oh so reassuring to know that you'll "confirm" you're not a psycho murderer by... phoning me.
This was sent at 10 to midnight ::)
Well I hope you were reassured by him telling you he is not a psycho murderer I am sure the Yorkshire ripper would have told you the same
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I tend to be instantly put off when they say on the phone they are fit and a nice guy.
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Oh absolutely, I was totally reassured and would have gone to his apartment right away. If only I hadn't already been asleep for an hour when he emailed! I will forever regret missing out
on being robbed and/or murdered
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Email via AW.
My profile states I work 6am to 8pm and don't do residential outcalls.
Subject: Read your profile, last minuet enquiry, ?300
Hi, I've seen that your in a hotel in xxx, an I know this is cheeky on two accounts that your status is not set to a sliver [guess a typo for available], and your notes about outcalls.
But my enquiry is this. My apartment is at xxx, close to most hotels, I'm feeling particularly lazy and I'm never a fan of going where they may be CCTV. So would you consider an outcall for 1 hour. ?300. Including OWO, deepthroat, CIM, facial, protected sex. Looking for a very sloppy drooling blowjob, if your ok with that. If you don't get back to me I understand. Not looking to waste your time just a cheeky enquiry. I can call you to confirm I'm not a psycho if you do respond. Time of outcall 00:30 tonight, short notice, sorry.
Anyway thanks for your time.
Oh so reassuring to know that you'll "confirm" you're not a psycho murderer by... phoning me.
This was sent at 10 to midnight ::)
Do these guys ever read their messages back??? Gotta wonder how some of them approach(ed) women in their dating life.
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There is no such sizing as 26aa. He is an idiot.
Yep. He is indeed.
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Absolute mugs. I had one guy ask for bareback in the booking and I firmly refused, he then moaned that other girls do it. I was thinking, so you've just told me you make unprotected sex a habit and you think telling me that makes me more likely to do it with you?
It's absolutely idiotic. I know girls who do bb in the areas near me, all of them tell the dude he's the only one. And guess what? He's never the only one. It's those of us who wrap up who stop the STDs spreading like wildfire.
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I had a booking this morning- I'd already torn the condom packet open because I hate fumbling with the damn thing in the booking. The client accused me using a recycled condom -wtf?
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I had a booking this morning- I'd already torn the condom packet open because I hate fumbling with the damn thing in the booking. The client accused me using a recycled condom -wtf?
::)
Yeh so you washed it out and rolled it back up :FF
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Yep- it would seem that way ???
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I had a booking this morning- I'd already torn the condom packet open because I hate fumbling with the damn thing in the booking. The client accused me using a recycled condom -wtf?
But of course, gotta save those pennies however we can ::)
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Client: Do you do CIM?
Me: No, sorry
Client: Okay, what about swallow?
Me: I'm just wondering how I will swallow without getting cum in my mouth? A funnel perhaps? :FF
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*Goes Down to my lady parts*
'Oh well isn't it neat and tidy'
I try? ??? Almost burst out laughing ;D
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Exchanged via text
Client: Your ad says you're off for the rest of the month...
Me: Yes, I've lost my voice and need to rest my throat.
Client: Sure you can't fit me in for a quick blow this evening?
Me: How does that help me rest my throat?
Client: But I'm horny...
Me: Go do the five fingered shuffle.
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Client who couldn't get hard with a condom on even told me we could do it without as he got tested weekly and tried to assure me he was clean
Now why would anyone do that unless they were having bareback regularly I just told him no .
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Client who couldn't get hard with a condom on even told me we could do it without as he got tested weekly and tried to assure me he was clean
Now why would anyone do that unless they were having bareback regularly I just told him no .
Clients can be idiots, most STIs have an 8 week latency period, HIV is mainly picked up at 6 months post infection. Just tell the idiots that the next time they bring up bb.
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Client who couldn't get hard with a condom on even told me we could do it without as he got tested weekly and tried to assure me he was clean
Now why would anyone do that unless they were having bareback regularly I just told him no .
I would not believe a word of that. Over the years I have asked clients (only when the subject came up) if they got tested and almost every one admitted he didn't. Of those who possible do get tested I can not believe they would do it weekly or even monthly.
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I'm sure it must be the build up to climax but I get told all sorts of things by guys ar the point of ejaculation
I want to be with you
I should have married your so tight ::)
Can I buy you shoes
I want to take you out
Would you see me again
Does anyone else get this lol !!
Afterwards it's... I best go luv I need to get back to work
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I'm sure it must be the build up to climax but I get told all sorts of things by guys ar the point of ejaculation
I want to be with you
I should have married your so tight ::)
Can I buy you shoes
I want to take you out
Would you see me again
Does anyone else get this lol !!
Afterwards it's... I best go luv I need to get back to work
Yeh I can add 'I love you' to the list ::)
As well as screaming my name (with me thinking shut tf up, neighbours might hear!)
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A guy today after having came said your boyfriend is a luckyman. He was still ejaculating while saying the words! Hahaha!
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Him: Are you a man? Not to be rude or anything I just want to make sure you are not a man.
Me: (naked, tits and pussy in obvious view) I had the most puzzled look on my face, before bursting out in laughter.
WTF ??
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Him: Are you a man? Not to be rude or anything I just want to make sure you are not a man.
Me: (naked, tits and pussy in obvious view) I had the most puzzled look on my face, before bursting out in laughter.
WTF ??
OMG I had a client in London who was similar. He was there, I was naked I think and then he came out with
I thought you might be a man and apparently these suspicions were only heightened by the fact I haven't much FB (enough I think!) and that I looked so good in my pictures!
I think he meant (he wasn't English) that this was the worst case scenario (I don't know some kind of scam?) or that I'd turn out to be a ladyboy, who knows.
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OMG I had a client in London who was similar. He was there, I was naked I think and then he came out with
I thought you might be a man and apparently these suspicions were only heightened by the fact I haven't much FB (enough I think!) and that I looked so good in my pictures!
I think he meant (he wasn't English) that this was the worst case scenario (I don't know some kind of scam?) or that I'd turn out to be a ladyboy, who knows.
You looked so good he thought you were a man? ??? I am sincerely puzzled by the thought process of some of these people.
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Their cynicism is unbelieavable isn't it!
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Client asking for bb via text. I said he must have aids to be so carless. He said no just anal bb. I replied with I avoid sick people like you. He texted back have a nice day.
What a cunt.
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Today i had a client say "can I ring my girlfriend while you are riding me?"
No you can bloody not ring your girlfriend matey!
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Today i had a client say "can I ring my girlfriend while you are riding me?"
No you can bloody not ring your girlfriend matey!
These are the most vile kind!!!
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These are the most vile kind!!!
I just dont get why anyone would want to ring the other half while with an escort..... he said she wouldnt know he was with me too :FF
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I just dont get why anyone would want to ring the other half while with an escort..... he said she wouldnt know he was with me too :FF
I started a thread a while back as I had a client who called his wife and put her on loudspeaker during the booking. And was attempting to stuff his Cock into my mouth while doing so. It made me so angry but how can I say anything in that situation? He could have lost it with me I could have even broken up how marriage. It's terrible. No wonder we have such a low opinion of men sometimes.
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I started a thread a while back as I had a client who called his wife and put her on loudspeaker during the booking. And was attempting to stuff his Cock into my mouth while doing so. It made me so angry but how can I say anything in that situation? He could have lost it with me I could have even broken up how marriage. It's terrible. No wonder we have such a low opinion of men sometimes.
I would have given him a toothy bj in that situation ;D
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Ew I had a client who said "You should be paying me" as if I had never been fucked so good in my life... it realllly rubbed me up the wrong way. Even if he was actually good, it would still have annoyed me. Don't FLATTER yourself! That's for me to say!
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I would have given him a toothy bj in that situation ;D
I wanked him furiously.
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He said there is a scottish girl who will do it for ?20. I said go to her, have a good time with your change. (The Tosser)
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I wanked him furiously.
Just give them what they want by asking them how is your cock baby mmmm.
That will teach them.
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I'm on tour.
Comes in my hotel room, looks at the bed and says "OMG, you bring your own bedspread! That's really cute!"
Me: Well, I like my home comforts!
Real reason: My patterned duvet cover doesn't show errant pubes, sock fluff, cum stains, or lubey handprints.
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Immediately prior to booking an appointment we had chatted about and agreed a time he said "I just found a lady I prefer over you so best wishes"!!
Now I understand I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and each to their own and all that, but why the hell did he think I needed to be told that, and why waste my time arranging an appointment?
Flabbergasted!
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In the middle of sex:
'I love your short hair. If I close my eyes you could be a little boy.'
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In the middle of sex:
'I love your short hair. If I close my eyes you could be a little boy.'
Oh...my...GOD :'(
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In the middle of sex:
'I love your short hair. If I close my eyes you could be a little boy.'
This has to trump all TERRIBLE punter quotes until the end of time
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In the middle of sex:
'I love your short hair. If I close my eyes you could be a little boy.'
Holy shit. I?ve got somewhat busy pixie hair and if someone said that I?d be absolutely disgusted and tell them to GTFO of my flat :o
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"I must say, I don't usually visit ladies in such an upmarket hotel as this!"
I'm in the Ibis :D
Asked him where he usually went, he said Campanile Doncaster...
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"I must say, I don't usually visit ladies in such an upmarket hotel as this!"
I'm in the Ibis :D
Asked him where he usually went, he said Campanile Doncaster...
Hahaha ....I bet you found it hard to keep a straight face!
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A client towards the end of a booking
?I?d better go, my wife is tracking me?
Presumably he meant by his phone not by a bug under his car or something ???
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Couple of days ago.
15 min blow and go.
"I need be off now I need to check up on the girls I work with at [insert a flat used for trafficking here]"
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TELL ME THIS?????
Yesterday soon as in the flat.
"You look like my sister.... thats very sexy... mmmm...." (if i knew that i would have charged incest role play prices!)
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Oh...my...GOD :'(
I know... I was kind of too shocked to do or say anything lol
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I know... I was kind of too shocked to do or say anything lol
I'm not surprised. Poor you :'(
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From someone whom I only met once, since then he kept making a booking, only to cancel. I gently said, "I wasn't available, hope you find another provider" etc, perfectly polite. Now, I'm getting a passive aggressive message, asking when I am available next week and could you make sure "he is the first one to see". >:( How so rude!
Didn't realise he was also a "low life", as well as a sad man, wanking off by "arranging a booking", which never happens. I decided to use the lovely technique of "IGNORE". :D Saafe rocks. ;D I stopped using extra energy and time to reply back.
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Phone call about five minutes ago.
"Are you working?"
Yes.
*some incoherent mumbling I couldn't understand*
Pardon?
"How old are you?"
32 it does say that in my advert.
"You look older"
I don't have any face photos.
"You look older, your body looks older. How much is it?"
Hung up and blocked. Same guy then tried to call about ten seconds later from a different number, hung up and blocked as soon as I heard him say "Are you working?"
Idiot, if I wasn't laughing I might cry lol. :FF
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Phone call about five minutes ago.
"Are you working?"
Yes.
*some incoherent mumbling I couldn't understand*
Pardon?
"How old are you?"
32 it does say that in my advert.
"You look older"
I don't have any face photos.
"You look older, your body looks older. How much is it?"
Hung up and blocked. Same guy then tried to call about ten seconds later from a different number, hung up and blocked as soon as I heard him say "Are you working?"
Idiot, if I wasn't laughing I might cry lol. :FF
'you look older'??? wow bet hes a hit with the ladies! punch in the face I am sure! lol yeah know that laugh but cry feeling, I have it right now! ;D :'( :FF lol
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'you look older'??? wow bet hes a hit with the ladies! punch in the face I am sure! lol yeah know that laugh but cry feeling, I have it right now! ;D :'( :FF lol
The fact he asked how much is it showed me he hadn't a clue who he'd spoken to anyway, the prices are right next to my photos - he rang from Viva Street. He had no intention of booking just obviously likes calling escorts and insulting them, like you say probably gets nowhere with the ladies so feels he needs to "give something back" ;D
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Today I got (while I was down there giving him a bj) "so you get paid for the illusion then"
What?! I smiled after taking his cock out of my mouth and and asked what he meant. I knew of course but wanted to know why he said it, I was not quick enough to give a better answer.
He replied "well you get paid to make me feel as though you are gagging for sex with me" - he is an old bloke by the way.
I then said something like "oh well I just enjoy my bookings most of the time" but what I should have said was "yeah I get paid to give the illusion and you pay me to receive it!"
A stupid conversation and I wanted to slap him. It isn't as though I do the pornstar fake stuff because I don't.
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Five minutes into a first meet. "I love you." This was then repeated over and over for the hour. :o
I not usually a clock watcher, but I certainly was paying attention to the time this time.
Wannabe chancer: "You know what feels even better than a condom? No condom."
"You know what feels even better than an STD? Celibacy."
Suffice to say he got shown the door without a refund.
"You're not married?!"
"Nope."
"Well then I'll get a divorce and we can get married."
"Double nope."
"I have a small penis."
"That's fine."
"No, I mean a really small penis."
"Still fine. Are you wanting me to do small penis humiliation or something?"
"No, I'm just telling you I have a very, very small penis, so you don't bring it up during the meet."
"You know the chances of me remarking on it increase exponentially each time you bring it up?"
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I have a guy who messages me every few months with "mmm sexy how good is your camel toe?" but never seems to get the message when I ask what the rating criteria is...
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I have a guy who messages me every few months with "mmm sexy how good is your camel toe?" but never seems to get the message when I ask what the rating criteria is...
Hahaha! I'd be so tempted to reply back "only the one hump, I'm afraid." Some guys are a bit peculiar.
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I have a guy who messages me every few months with "mmm sexy how good is your camel toe?" but never seems to get the message when I ask what the rating criteria is...
I'd be tempted to send him a picture of a camels toe and say you tell me?!? ;D
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I was thinking about an old one of these today!
Working in a parlour and this young lad comes in. Picks me I take him into the room and ask him what he'd like. He tells me and I say that will cost you ?40. He pulls out this ENORMOUS wad of cash, there must have been 2-3k there at least, he wasn't trying to hide how much was there either. And the cheeky s*** has the balls to say to me "listen, I'll give you ?20, but I want the ABSOLUTE BEST SERVICE you can give" I was like mate it'll cost you at least double that like I said or you can f*** off! Had a Rolex on his arm and everything. May have been fake but with carrying that kind of cash around with him also maybe not. I honestly couldn't get over the cheek of it. Still to this day I can't!
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Today I got (while I was down there giving him a bj) "so you get paid for the illusion then"
What?! I smiled after taking his cock out of my mouth and and asked what he meant. I knew of course but wanted to know why he said it, I was not quick enough to give a better answer.
He replied "well you get paid to make me feel as though you are gagging for sex with me" - he is an old bloke by the way.
I then said something like "oh well I just enjoy my bookings most of the time" but what I should have said was "yeah I get paid to give the illusion and you pay me to receive it!"
A stupid conversation and I wanted to slap him. It isn't as though I do the pornstar fake stuff because I don't.
I agree that often we have to act this idea, I personally to try and give them the idea that this illusion is the truth, it gets them off, makes them feel wanted and that?? Is this the reason behind this??
i do get sick of the constant assumption that we are all gagging for sex 24/7!! I guess that's part of the act lol
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I was thinking about an old one of these today!
Working in a parlour and this young lad comes in. Picks me I take him into the room and ask him what he'd like. He tells me and I say that will cost you ?40. He pulls out this ENORMOUS wad of cash, there must have been 2-3k there at least, he wasn't trying to hide how much was there either. And the cheeky s*** has the balls to say to me "listen, I'll give you ?20, but I want the ABSOLUTE BEST SERVICE you can give" I was like mate it'll cost you at least double that like I said or you can f*** off! Had a Rolex on his arm and everything. May have been fake but with carrying that kind of cash around with him also maybe not. I honestly couldn't get over the cheek of it. Still to this day I can't!
WTF?!?!
At least most of the cheapskate chancers at least *pretend* to be poor. WTF...
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Yes the above post reminded me of a man I saw loads and always for half hours. One day he texted and asked could I consider a slight reduction in fee as he was a little low on funds lately. I wish I had said no but I agreed on 10 less because he was really regular and as often as weekly sometimes. Stupid me.
I was far too soft and agreed to the reduced rate for bookings after that too. He played the sympathy card very well! Until the day when we had a little post booking chat and he let slip he had just booked himself a cruise and not a cheapo one either.
He went onto my blacklist and next time he texted I said sorry can't meet you again. He asked why a few times but got a big fat blank from me.
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My what??? moments for the day-
"Can you lick my armpits?Will you rim me?" (No shower and he stunk! I laughed and said no)
"Daddy's sexy little girl".... "No I'm not!"
"Are you clean?".... "cleaner than you mate"
"It would be so sexy if you'd fart in my face right now"
To be fair I actually tried to do the last one. I'm occasionally a good sport ;D
Armpit guy asked me why I kept laughing. I said "stop joking around then". He was just so gross and wanted me to lick everywhere. I've had a delightful time PMSing at a parlour today and have had little patience so have been very blunt.
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I'd be tempted to send him a picture of a camels toe and say you tell me?!? ;D
lol one of my clients has a tattoo of a camel on his big toe, pm me & ill mail it over hahah
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A punter tells me that he had "a lot of trouble" with one lady on AW who fell in love with him. "ok, not sure why he's telling me this?" I thought. He went very specific as to who and quite frankly, I couldn't care less about it, but tried to be "interested" in case he takes offence. I thought he was a straightforward guy, but now I'm very cautious with this guy. I also insisted he would book through the system in case he would do something stupid during the booking. I took it as a warning. Something fishy. Also it is quite indiscreet to tell other escorts when someone fell in love with him. To be honest, it can't be true as he isn't exactly a charming guy. Down to earth, maybe, not the type women would generally go for. But again, someone's definition of a cute guy may not be someone else. :)
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A punter tells me that he had "a lot of trouble" with one lady on AW who fell in love with him. "ok, not sure why he's telling me this?" I thought. He went very specific as to who and quite frankly, I couldn't care less about it, but tried to be "interested" in case he takes offence. I thought he was a straightforward guy, but now I'm very cautious with this guy. I also insisted he would book through the system in case he would do something stupid during the booking. I took it as a warning. Something fishy. Also it is quite indiscreet to tell other escorts when someone fell in love with him. To be honest, it can't be true as he isn't exactly a charming guy. Down to earth, maybe, not the type women would generally go for. But again, someone's definition of a cute guy may not be someone else. :)
Lol I'll bet my last penny that it was the other way around and she turned him down and he didn't like it!
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Lol I'll bet my last penny that it was the other way around and she turned him down and he didn't like it!
:o Never thought of that. It could be. I didn't think he liked it when I asked him to book on the site as before. My point was, "this is a booking." He's happily married, but it made me wonder about that now. He does seem to talk too much about his own experiences, which usually means his experience with me will go public sooner or later. ::)
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:o Never thought of that. It could be. I didn't think he liked it when I asked him to book on the site as before. My point was, "this is a booking." He's happily married, but it made me wonder about that now. He does seem to talk too much about his own experiences, which usually means his experience with me will go public sooner or later. ::)
I've had a few clients get spiteful / weird when I've ignored their daily texts or turned them down for social meetings / dates so it wouldn't surprise me at all. "Happily" married or not.
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Thank you for your input, LisaLisa. I have had those, too. What's wrong with these men (whilst there are Good guys on the other hand)?
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Thank you for your input, LisaLisa. I have had those, too. What's wrong with these men (whilst there are Good guys on the other hand)?
It's a mystery lol. I will miss reading the funny things they say when I leave! ;D
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?Oh this will only take all of ten seconds...? and as he came he made a ?ding ding? noise.
;D
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You are too nice and well spoken for this you will be someone's mother or wife one day :FF :FF
, I already am someone's mother and why should it effect them? It's not like we tell it from the rooftops what we do. They get provided for fed and clothed and I'm not interested in marrying a man.
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Lolapops, "ding ding" ;D ;D ;D
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Ding ding!! :D
I have to confess that my BF has a habit, when I take my dress off, of exclaiming "Ding fucking doo-ong!"
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"You're not married?!"
"Nope."
"Well then I'll get a divorce and we can get married."
"Double nope."
"I have a small penis."
"That's fine."
"No, I mean a really small penis."
"Still fine. Are you wanting me to do small penis humiliation or something?"
"No, I'm just telling you I have a very, very small penis, so you don't bring it up during the meet."
"You know the chances of me remarking on it increase exponentially each time you bring it up?"
;D ;D
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I think I dodged a total idiot today. In fact I know I did! Got a call from a sensible enough sounding guy who was doing fine making his booking and we said bye so I could go and prepare as he would be due in half an hour. In the middle of my preps he rang again and asked could I just tell him one or two things we would be "enjoying" when he arrived. I said sorry but I had to finish getting ready and he would be here soon enough to enjoy the meeting.
He seemed to accept this but then I got a text saying "I will not be coming as you did not seem very sexy on the phone and I like to get a bit of build up before I arrive" ::)
Do these phone wankers think we are just off the stupid train?
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In the middle of my preps he rang again and asked could I just tell him one or two things we would be "enjoying" when he arrived. I said sorry but I had to finish getting ready and he would be here soon enough to enjoy the meeting.
He seemed to accept this but then I got a text saying "I will not be coming as you did not seem very sexy on the phone and I like to get a bit of build up before I arrive" ::)
I've had this once or twice - so annoying. I'm sat there trying to do my eyeliner and it suddenly becomes obvious he's either clueless or a timewaster. They don't seem to be able to work it out that we can't get ready for the booking whilst simultaneously providing wank material!
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I don't think clients realise that time is money as they aren't doing the job themselves. It is only a very small minority of men who seem to get the job enough to appreciate this.
I also find it is the younger guys who expect a build up of texts prior to the booking. Which is why I often find e.g. 30 year old age group particularly tiresome. However sometimes beggars can't be choosers and we have to take that age group on. That is at least my experience. Those aged 40 plus seem to hassle us less in the run up to the appointment.
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Ding ding!! :D
I have to confess that my BF has a habit, when I take my dress off, of exclaiming "Ding fucking doo-ong!"
Is your bf lord flash heart ;D
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I think I dodged a total idiot today. In fact I know I did! Got a call from a sensible enough sounding guy who was doing fine making his booking and we said bye so I could go and prepare as he would be due in half an hour. In the middle of my preps he rang again and asked could I just tell him one or two things we would be "enjoying" when he arrived. I said sorry but I had to finish getting ready and he would be here soon enough to enjoy the meeting.
He seemed to accept this but then I got a text saying "I will not be coming as you did not seem very sexy on the phone and I like to get a bit of build up before I arrive" ::)
Do these phone wankers think we are just off the stupid train?
All abroad the stupid train. woo woo!!! ;D xx
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All abroad the stupid train. woo woo!!! ;D xx
Believe it or not some escorts do engage in Sexting and suchlike before bookings (unpaid) and that?s up to them but unfortunately it means these idiots then start expecting it of all of us.
I had a guy book recently I was not very enamoured of his manner on the phone and straight afterwards he texted me asking if I had WhatsApp and could I send a face picture which I ignored. I blocked him thinking I would cancel before the booking and then got a voicemail asking to change the time so I said I wasn?t available, meanwhile there was another blocked text asking for a face picture...
On a thorough look at his feedback one Escort commented that she had enjoyed sexting before the booking, unbelievable but true
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Believe it or not some escorts do engage in Sexting and suchlike before bookings (unpaid) and that?s up to them but unfortunately it means these idiots then start expecting it of all of us.
I had a guy book recently I was not very enamoured of his manner on the phone and straight afterwards he texted me asking if I had WhatsApp and could I send a face picture which I ignored. I blocked him thinking I would cancel before the booking and then got a voicemail asking to change the time so I said I wasn?t available, meanwhile there was another blocked text asking for a face picture...
On a thorough look at his feedback one Escort commented that she had enjoyed sexting before the booking, unbelievable but true
Oops sorry, meant no ill feeling/poking fun at escorts. Not all all :-* Just meant its so funny how some (not all) clients think they can get away with trying to pull crap :)
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Oops sorry, meant no ill feeling/poking fun at escorts. Not all all :-* Just meant its so funny how some (not all) clients think they can get away with trying to pull crap :)
No I didn?t think that, I know that a lot of guys do that with no intention of booking just timewasting but some guys do expect it as part of a booking which is not my style at all.
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No I didn?t think that, I know that a lot of guys do that with no intention of booking just timewasting but some guys do expect it as part of a booking which is not my style at all.
Yeah I am the same :)
Wish you a good Saturday night and Sunday xx
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Is your bf lord flash heart ;D
LOL. If he ever exclaims "Woof woof!" I'll be out the door :D
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Since I've stopped working the amount of guys who have asked me yet if I've had my baby yet so they can give me another one. Vomit. :-X
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Since I've stopped working the amount of guys who have asked me yet if I've had my baby yet so they can give me another one. Vomit. :-X
Oh sweet Jesus :-X
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'Do you know any other working girls? I'd love a girl on girl threesum'
The same client starts ranting about Australia's gay equality how it's disgusting, makes him sick, that it should be man and woman.
The fuck does that make sense. Also my profile doesn't lie, i'm not just gay for pay, I like men and women so wrong audience famalam.
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Complete idiot: Saw your profile, it looks great! You say you do expert Roleplay
Me: Yes I know, I actually wrote my profile
:FF
I guess he wanted me to reply with something more enticing
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Had a right perv on the phone yesterday who immediately got my TW senses tingling....
HIM-'Hi I was just reading your profile and would like some more information.
(Long pause from him)
ME-'Well my profile is very informative....what information are you looking for?'
HIM- I'm extremely horny but I would like to know how many times I can cum in half an hour.
ME- As my profile states clearly it's a cum once in half an hour so .....I don't have any availability at the moment so perhaps if you call me another time?
( me trying to get off the phone)
(He starts interrupting getting flustered and sounds keen to stay on the phone)
HIM- I have another question....I see you have beautiful breasts....can you tell me if your nipples....
ME- (Irritated) Listen Darling I don't discuss stuff like this on the phone so thank you and goodbye!
Honestly he was such a bell end!!!!!
Today a guy booked and sounded okay but didn't confirm in the end. Immediately after booking I sent a postcode and then told him to confirm by 4pm. He then text back with the classic offputting line 'Are you alone?'
FFS! If I was I'm hardly going to tell him lol
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This one is more what I said!
He said by text Hi sweetie I just found your profile so want to meet tomorrow!!!!!!! XXX
I said by return No you haven't just found my profile you made a booking in March and didn't confirm when you agreed you would so now you are classed as a timewaster.
Gotcha!
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This one is more what I said!
He said by text Hi sweetie I just found your profile so want to meet tomorrow!!!!!!! XXX
I said by return No you haven't just found my profile you made a booking in March and didn't confirm when you agreed you would so now you are classed as a timewaster.
Gotcha!
LOL brilliant love it.
I had similar once. A guy who hadn't shown up for an appointment a couple of months previously called and said he was looking to make an appointment that day. I said I won't be making another appointment with you. I could tell straight away he was a timewaster because he didn't say "another appointment? We've never made an appointment before". He just said "oh why's that?" I said well you made an appointment in February (or whatever month it was) and you didn't show up or even contact me to cancel. He said "are you sure?" I said yes, I have the notes from the call and your text messages confirming still in my phone. Didn't even have the decency to apologise. Just another "oh". He was one of the ones that made me realise the over descriptive ones are quite often TWs. So I should thank him really I wasted a lot less time after that. Why do they even bother, to not even go oh" I'm so sorry" and make up some rubbish excuse. Just "oh". No respect whatsoever. I told him to pee off and hung up haha.
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I've had so many similar conversations with no shows over the years.Never once had one apologise.Always they either deny it,say they can't remember booking before or mumble about something having come up.When I ask them why they didn't text and tell me they couldn't make or even the day after get in touch and explain and apologise they haven't got a damn thing to say!Because it is bullshit!Basically no shows have no respect for us and probably do it so much they really can't remember making the previous appointment with you because they can't remember which one you are!
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I've had so many similar conversations with no shows over the years.Never once had one apologise.Always they either deny it,say they can't remember booking before or mumble about something having come up.When I ask them why they didn't text and tell me they couldn't make or even the day after get in touch and explain and apologise they haven't got a damn thing to say!Because it is bullshit!Basically no shows have no respect for us and probably do it so much they really can't remember making the previous appointment with you because they can't remember which one you are!
There's only one word for them...idiots (preferably with a lovely F word in front of it!)
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An email I received today.....
"Good-morning beautiful 💕 how's my smokin hot 🔥 future wife 😁
Rhoan"
Seriously why? Ugh
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Received all of these gems in the last 24 hours.
Can I come for a short time. Like a 10 minute wank by me while I watch you strip? Promise I am really quick so how much? ::)
Dress as a Santa elf or a fairy if you have the outfit and I will be there in a few minutes, where are you? ::)
Bet you could do with some extra cash at xmas so can we do a deal? ::)
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By text this morning
" Hi gorgeous , do you ever feel broody ? "
I'm 48 :FF
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By text this morning
" Hi gorgeous , do you ever feel broody ? "
I'm 48 :FF
I had the same message I told him I had a hysterectomy 25 years ago....He then carried on with how he wants a roleplay where he gets me pregnant ::)
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"Can you fake squirting for me?"
"You realise you're asking me to piss in your face?"
"What?!"
"How else do you expect me to conjure up fluid without you putting the effort in? Grab a bottle and randomly splash you with it?"
"I want to watch your boyfriend fuck you."
"I'm not sure you'd recover from seeing yourself so thoroughly out performed."
this made me PMSL :P :P :P
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so iv just had a booking with this young man (25) and when he didn't open his mouth he was quite pleasant and he said 'il have sex and oral protected please' I said ok (sex is protected regardless if they want otherwise or not) so as I was putting the condom on for oral he says 'if I saw you in a club we wouldn't be using a condom for oral but because you do what you do' I just looked at him thinking what to say for a sec, then said 'you do know sex workers get orally swabbed each month' He seems rather taken aback and just said oh really :FF
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Text message from a client:
'You truly are a magnificent masseuse! Probably the best I have ever met.
I would like to converse with you by email as I feel you are such a special person.
Please drop me an email on... '
I mean, do I really look so miserable that someone might think that if they tell me I'm special I will become their pen pal?! ??? >:(
I think I'd have to reply to that with "We've never met, love. And now we never will."
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Young Asian lad. Arrives in the room and says "I love MILFs!" Fair enough, that's how I advertise.
2 mins later, "You look really like my mum!" (I'm white)
2 mins after that, "I love incest!"
::)
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A much older guy I've seen on a number of occasions messaging me to say goodbye as I'm leaving this week. Nice message. Then proceeds to say he would liked to take me out for a meal, and if I'd wanted to take him home with me after the meal for some sex then he would have happily obliged. Why would I take time out of work, to go out for free with some guy more than old enough to be my grandad, then take him home for free sex afterwards...was in such shock I just ignored the message. Some of these guys really let themselves down with this stuff. Shame because he was a nice guy but seriously deluded if he thought I was really going to take him up on that.
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A much older guy I've seen on a number of occasions messaging me to say goodbye as I'm leaving this week. Nice message. Then proceeds to say he would liked to take me out for a meal, and if I'd wanted to take him home with me after the meal for some sex then he would have happily obliged. Why would I take time out of work, to go out for free with some guy more than old enough to be my grandad, then take him home for free sex afterwards...was in such shock I just ignored the message. Some of these guys really let themselves down with this stuff. Shame because he was a nice guy but seriously deluded if he thought I was really going to take him up on that.
I'd say at least 60% of guys that pay for sex are deluded!!
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Him: ?I?m into some really kinky shit, like.?
Me: ?oh yeah??
Him: ?Yeah, I really want you to use me like a toilet roll..?
::)
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I have a session tomorrow.
I was told it will be wise of me not to eat in the morning ('just tea'...), so that we can have a 'better connection'.
::)
I'd open the door to him eating an enormous bacon sandwich!
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I'd open the door to him eating an enormous bacon sandwich!
With a generous slathering of garlic sauce :)
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A regular: Don't you ever get worried that someone is secretly filming you? I mean, I could have a camera stuck up there [points to top of wardrobe] and you'd never know.
Er, it has crossed my mind mate, but thanks for bringing that up & making me feel super awkward.
Another regular: "Er, would you mind leaving now as I've got to meet my mates."
Me: No worries! [I hop off the bed sharpish, happy to leave v.slightly early & go home to get in my jammies]
Reg: Just FYI, I'm going to claim back the 4 minutes from today at our next booking.
Sigh.
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~Knickers story~
Last evening - client discusses in detail knickers I will be wearing for the booking today. Emphasis on 'in detail'.
3am - client texts me asking about the knickers.
8.30am - client sends a link asking if the knickers look like this.
9.20am - client wants to meet earlier. I reply - I can't make it earlier. Client asks what knickers will I be wearing.
I say we discussed it yesterday. Client asks for a picture of the knickers. I say I don't have a picture.
He says that he wonders how the knickers look like. I ignore and think about the money.
Client sends me a photo of knickers and asks if they look like this.
No. I can't take it anymore. I text that it's annoying and I cancel.
Client replies - 'Are you serious??'
Epilogue:
I grief loosing the money and consider adding Jack Daniels to my morning coffee.
Client - still texts 'So??'. Presumably wanks over pictures of knickers.
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Text from regular on 25th of December around 2pm:
Christine if you want an hour walk this afternoon I am free. We can go to church? x
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Client from aw, with a 2 year old profile and zero feedback ::) contacts me yesterday by email even with my number showing up, and asks about my availability Sunday and I tell him that he must call me nearer the time as I need to speak first, he is okay with that.
3 hours later he starts texting asking if ?I?m definitely Scottish as he has heard from the page (what page I don?t know) that Romanians all rob you? lol, so I said doesn?t it say so on my profile that I?m Scottish and don?t you think my feedback would say otherwise? He apologises and then starts texting about girls that charge ?60 for a hh and how it?s too expensive and don?t these girls realise that they?d be busier if they put their prices down and they?d have more regulars (I charge ?80 for hh and most girls in Edinburgh charge ?70 or ?80 for a hh so the ?60 girl is cheapest!) :FF well that really pissed me off and I wrote back that the reason we charge ?so much? is because we are essentially allowing men, strangers to use our bodies and we get paid good cash for the sheer mental exhaustion of the job; the guys that think we do this job for sex, and not cash -delusional we know- the guys that want right in about our personal life, the guys that talk to us like shit just because we are sex workers, and I then went onto say ?do you think Tesco give me discounts just because I shop there everyday? and why bloody should they?!, same with hairdressers; they are doing a JOB and you must pay their prices, no quibbling, and I then said I don?t care how many times a guy comes to see me then he will NEVER EVER (and in caps too) get a discount from me!! (I don?t get girls that give regulars discount, as if they should be lucky that an old man is willing to pay them for sex!) He only bloody wants a 15min booking anyway and it?s only ?40!! I said if you want cheaper then I suggest you hit up the street girls, he then texted me ?ok chill out babe?!!!
Grrrr...needless to say I?m taking no booking from this idiot who is clearly a discount asker, oh and went on about he?s ?32 and I bet I get some real old codgers and wouldn?t it be a delight for me to have him?, maybe if I was in the job for the sex then yes but it?s just about the cash for me, Christ!!
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I hate it when they assume that their youth is a plus point. No mate, I'd far rather see a gent in his 50s or 60s who isn't going to expect to be flinging me around like he's seen in the pornos.
I've had a guy text me before "How much for a young fit well-hung guy?" I replied "Double my normal rate so I can cope with your arrogance and crap skill at sex."
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New client, as soon as I touched him: 'oh I'll have a condom on for that'
Me: I have to at least wait until you're hard
NC: But you hear so many stories about other girls doing things without condoms
Me: yeah you'd better be careful in case you catch something from breathing the same air as me
Honestly what a twat. ...I get taking responsibility for your own health and I'm all for it but come on....
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New client, as soon as I touched him: 'oh I'll have a condom on for that'
Me: I have to at least wait until you're hard
NC: But you hear so many stories about other girls doing things without condoms
Me: yeah you'd better be careful in case you catch something from breathing the same air as me
Honestly what a twat. ...I get taking responsibility for your own health and I'm all for it but come on....
Why do they book escorts if they are so damn phobic ?
There's more Risk of them catching something from a drunken one night stand than an escort .
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Well. how bloody charming:
I see that your profile here is brand new which means you lack feedback etc (not necessarily a problem)
You opics look like they are quite dated and those are some pretty unflattering Bridget Jones panties you're wearing. Do you have anything up to date (doesn't need to be lingerie or naked) that you can put on your profile
Blimey ! My pictures are real , unairbrushed pictures. Panties are lace ? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
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One today...'I'm suprised you're not fitter with all the sex exercise you have'
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Well. how bloody charming:
I see that your profile here is brand new which means you lack feedback etc (not necessarily a problem)
You opics look like they are quite dated and those are some pretty unflattering Bridget Jones panties you're wearing. Do you have anything up to date (doesn't need to be lingerie or naked) that you can put on your profile
Blimey ! My pictures are real , unairbrushed pictures. Panties are lace ? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
what a wanker.
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Well. how bloody charming:
You opics look like they are quite dated and those are some pretty unflattering Bridget Jones panties you're wearing. Do you have anything up to date (doesn't need to be lingerie or naked) that you can put on your profile
Blimey ! My pictures are real , unairbrushed pictures. Panties are lace ? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Fuller knickers are smack bang back in fashion and I wear them for most bookings! Gorgeous colours/see through and lots of lacy detail. They are sexy as hell and while I have a mountain of thongs I rarely wear them now unless asked for.
The man doesn't have a clue so just ignore his silly comments.
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Yes I love fuller pants so do some of my clients ,
the criticism I got was I was hiding my wrinkling sagging stomach
Well I did it fucking well coz I've made lots of money when I uploaded those shots back last year
:)
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Hate it when you are mid booking and they ask you a ton of questions....
?Do you have a boyfriend??
??Do you get tested??
?How old are you??
??Do you live here??
The bloody questions they ask if I listed I could be here all night!!!!!
These are they most typically annoying IMO
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I once had a client that asked me how much my rent was!! They?d never dare ask their hairdresser, doctor, dentist, plumber, etc, these private questions.
I cannot wait to win the lottery, haha, and get out of this game, the bad customers are now starting to outweigh the good sadly.
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Anyone advise how best to respond to such questions?
Feeling the need for a script that's better than just breezing it
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I may start saying (when I do AW anyway) that I don?t pay rent as I?m servicing my landlord, and my electricity company, my gas company, the manager in Tescos, you get the drift!! Mmmn some fun will be had...
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I may start saying (when I do AW anyway) that I don?t pay rent as I?m servicing my landlord, and my electricity company, my gas company, the manager in Tescos, you get the drift!! Mmmn some fun will be had...
The few who have asked these intrusive questions get told in a very nice way that they are being nosey. Your idea has sparked a new response from me though and I may just try that out. :)
One cheeky person asked do I pay council tax and I did react by asking did he. He said of course so I just gave him a look. It worked and he stopped being a pain after that. If they quickly realise you are not a push over they usually alter their manner I find.
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Client after the session: 'Something really bad must have happened to you in your life that you don't want to take your knickers off'.
???
Tell him you actually desperately need a poo, and the knickers are the only thing keeping it back ;D.
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Tell him you actually desperately need a poo, and the knickers are the only thing keeping it back ;D.
I actually screeched with laughter at this!! ;D ;D ;D
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I always work topless with my knickers on.
Midway the session a client asked me to remove the knickers, few times in a row like a broken record.
I repeatedly refused.
Client after the session: 'Something really bad must have happened to you in your life that you don't want to take your knickers off'.
???
Or tell him you actually have a cock! ;D
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I get them almost every single time. The annoyance !... :FF
Yeah I got it a few times.
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I get them almost every single time. The annoyance !... :FF
by the way what is your answer when they ask you if you live there.
usually I have a lie and say Im just staying for a few months.
If I think he is ok fine but if he is a weirdo then I sh1t
The good thing is that I live in a secure building and feel safe
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Had one from a client last week, "You have it so easy, I'm so envious of your job. You just get to lie there, get shagged & get paid for it."
I could've throttled him! Yes, it's SO easy pretending that you're having a whale of a time when presented with a guy with bad breath, straining beer-belly & hairy back who expects you to do sexual wizardy with his flaccid willy. And I also most certainly do not just lie back and think of England either - I don't call it 'sexercise' for nothing!
I would like to see him try to fuck multiple women who he doesn't find attractive, whilst making them believe that they're the most charismatic being since sliced bread.
Don't get me wrong - I have several regulars who I quite enjoy meeting - but I really resent it when punters think that escorting is 'easy' money.
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by the way what is your answer when they ask you if you live there.
usually I have a lie and say Im just staying for a few months.
If I think he is ok fine but if he is a weirdo then I sh1t
The good thing is that I live in a secure building and feel safe
I will sometimes just say I am subletting, staying with a friend or staying in an Airbnb.
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Guy booked for 15 mins.
I explained clearly on the phone that my 15 min booking was different to the 30min/1hour booking. Told him what was on offer and he was fine with it.
Fast forward to his arrival. Let him in. Nice bloke. Clean and presentable.
HIM- I Don?t want sex or a blow job. What I want is for you to wank me off and to wank me into my mouth.
ME- What? how is that possible?
HIM I?ll show you.....
(He lies back on the bed and gets into a ?yoga? type ?roly poly? position to demonstrate)
So he sits up on the edge of the bed. I start wanking him and woe and behold he started to climax...rolled back and I aimed for his mouth and he swallowed!!!
He was in and out in two mins lol
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"your vagina is very hospitable"
yeah mate, leave me a review on tripadvisor why don't you?
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"your vagina is very hospitable"
yeah mate, leave me a review on tripadvisor why don't you?
Ya ha ha!
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Guy booked for 15 mins.
I explained clearly on the phone that my 15 min booking was different to the 30min/1hour booking. Told him what was on offer and he was fine with it.
Fast forward to his arrival. Let him in. Nice bloke. Clean and presentable.
HIM- I Don?t want sex or a blow job. What I want is for you to wank me off and to wank me into my mouth.
ME- What? how is that possible?
HIM I?ll show you.....
(He lies back on the bed and gets into a ?yoga? type ?roly poly? position to demonstrate)
So he sits up on the edge of the bed. I start wanking him and woe and behold he started to climax...rolled back and I aimed for his mouth and he swallowed!!!
He was in and out in two mins lol
Oh my goodness, that is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard of! Brilliant though - kudos to him for being so flexible!
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ha ha just got this from a regular, luckily (for him) he's one of my favourites as very polite, friendly and respectful
"Hi are you available Monday to go on an easter egg hunt together?"
adorable as it is, I don't think I'll be free lol
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Thats a seasonal fantasy :)
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I had one potential client, the usual pre booking process, all normal. Then he has to ring to confirm, which after a few texts he did (I have to stand outside my place as bad signal speaking on phone) when he rang and I answered, straight away he was blabbling about being miserable and heard him mention something about Austraila and at first I thought oh here we go, he wants me to feel sorry for him and want a freebie/discount (didnt help with the fact signal still wasnt great) think he was on about having to move there and being miserable about it??? FFS (this was quite late at night too so low on patience) without swearing I managed to say, 'wow that was so random' Then he said about saying random things is good...well not when I am being paid for my time being an escort, so told him its really put me off and dont want to waste my time or his and then I hung up. My thought on that was WTF????!?! lol. Feel sad?? ring a helpline, not an escort!!! ::) :o ;D
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This actually upset me last night. Guy calls for 15 minutes booking, all is fine so I text him my postcode. In response I get 'Sorry I've just had a text back from someone else so I won't be coming to you.'
I found it quite vile although I'm not sure why it upset me so much.
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This actually upset me last night. Guy calls for 15 minutes booking, all is fine so I text him my postcode. In response I get 'Sorry I've just had a text back from someone else so I won't be coming to you.'
I found it quite vile although I'm not sure why it upset me so much.
I?ve had this happen to me! Or they tell me I was the third option lol
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cupping my boobs-
i like the way these hand down
(thanks)
talking about new years-
I assume your new years resolution will be to do some exersise
(fuck off)
moaning about not wanting to see the other women i work with-
youre just a bit older and it feels less creepy
(mate Im 2 years older and youre still old enough to be my dad)
theres more but cant remember them all...
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talking about new years-
I assume your new years resolution will be to do some exersise
(fuck off)
Ya ha ha!
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cupping my boobs-
i like the way these hand down
(thanks)
I've had this...once I was in full on dirty talk mode 'oh do you like those?'...'well I like firm bobs really ' says he.
Think my face said it all.
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- "I like seeing bigger girls, they appreciate it more" (Oh dear!)
- "bet you can't wait to have my cock inside you later on can you babe!"
(Believe me sweetheart, I can wait. If I never had another cock for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be arsed, well aside from the fact it's my job and I love the money, I'd happily had foot fetish clients for the rest of my working life! Haha)
-"In another life we'd be together"
(Erm no babe in nonother life would I ever look twice at you. You pay me for sex and buy me. Ice things, that is the arrangement - I'm a great actress!)
Oh there's so many to think about....
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Idiot: I know you have little feedback on your aw profile but will you take 120 as your feedback is low.
Me: NO. As you said you read my profile in full it clearly states my rates are non-negotiable and I don't provide discount. If you can't afford my 140 fee I suggest you seek a provider who is at 120.
Idiot:I thought you would want the money as your feedback is low.
Me: Take care goodbye. Blocked the dick head. :FF
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Regular Client: do not you get bored all the time locked up?
Me: no, I like it a lot and I never get bored
The: seriously? and you never go to the town?
Me: yes, to buy food, condoms and I really like to look at second-hand shops
The: Wow is incredible !!!
hahahhah they think we do not eat and that we have no life outside of this job, that we are not human lol :o
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Phone call, I knew he was a wanker as soon as he said "good morning gorgeous" so I thought I'd have some fun with him.
Him: Do you specialise?
Me: What does that mean?
Him: Do you do oral without condom?
Me: Yes...
Him: And cum in mouth?
Me: Yes
Him: Mmmm, beautiful babe. And your photos, are they real?
Me: No, they're of my Grandma.
Him: What?
Me: They're of my Grandma.
Him: Uh... so what do you look like?
Me: I'm about 6 foot wide, 4 feet tall, upholstered in leather and I come with a footstool.
Him: Mmm, beautiful. Do you like anal?
Me: What?
Him: Anal?
Me: What?
Him: ANAL!
Me: Oh yes I love canals. Do you have a boat?
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Phone call, I knew he was a wanker as soon as he said "good morning gorgeous" so I thought I'd have some fun with him.
Him: Do you specialise?
Me: What does that mean?
Him: Do you do oral without condom?
Me: Yes...
Him: And cum in mouth?
Me: Yes
Him: Mmmm, beautiful babe. And your photos, are they real?
Me: No, they're of my Grandma.
Him: What?
Me: They're of my Grandma.
Him: Uh... so what do you look like?
Me: I'm about 6 foot wide, 4 feet tall, upholstered in leather and I come with a footstool.
Him: Mmm, beautiful. Do you like anal?
Me: What?
Him: Anal?
Me: What?
Him: ANAL!
Me: Oh yes I love canals. Do you have a boat?
Fair play to your Grandma!!! ;D ;D xxx
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This actually upset me last night. Guy calls for 15 minutes booking, all is fine so I text him my postcode. In response I get 'Sorry I've just had a text back from someone else so I won't be coming to you.'
I found it quite vile although I'm not sure why it upset me so much.
I had someone do exactly this.Booked for a very short notice booking and then 10 mins later while I was getting ready he rang and said he was cancelling because his regular had answered him.I wasn't upset but I was furious especially when he asked if he could come see me another time,I was like sure and then maybe I'll bump you for a better offer prick!It's just cheeky so I don't blame you for feeling upset.
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"are you bringing condoms?" ??? ???
do you think they ask their plumber of they're bringing their own wrench?
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Keep getting emails on aw
Can I see you this afternoon when I'm not showing as available
Are you free now when my number is showing and available light on
Will you do this This and that
For fucks sake why can't they just phone after reading my likes and no lists :FF
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Text: 'Y uno b in derby'
Literally, the guy who can not string a sentence together. :-\
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Idiot: can you do sixity for thirty mins.
me: NO my rates are set and non-negoitable and it's eighty pounds. There are other ladies who fit within your budget.
Idiot: Good luck getting guys to pay that much
Me: I'm doing fine and well. Good luck finding an escort who will see a haggler like yourself
Idiot: Shutup you cheap hore :FF
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Idiot: can you do sixity for thirty mins.
me: NO my rates are set and non-negoitable and it's eighty pounds. There are other ladies who fit within your budget.
Idiot: Good luck getting guys to pay that much
Me: I'm doing fine and well. Good luck finding an escort who will see a haggler like yourself
Idiot: Shutup you cheap hore :FF
Should have replied that if you WERE cheap you might have fit into his budget however don’t get angry because he can’t afford luxury items
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Should have replied that if you WERE cheap you might have fit into his budget however don’t get angry because he can’t afford luxury items
In the last week I have had 3 emails from men "prepared to offer" me less than my rate. Though they were polite in their offer I declined. I just dismiss these men straight away, no further conversation from my end even if they respond to my refusal. They will keep trying this until some sp says yes and good luck to them but it won't be me.
I have nothing enormously against doing a bit cheaper but always think if I accept their offer and they are time wasters they then have me noted as desperate. ::)
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I'm black just as a background to this story and just to add this wanker was jumping through all sorts of hoops to get a booking with me and throwing tantrums because he couldn't get one,
"Black girls aren't popular, very few guys like black girls and you should be grateful for the attention I'm giving you"
I was shocked into silence. I don't get shocked into silence a lot.
Lulu that's vile to would put you right off a booking.
Did he think you were meant to be greatful.?
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What's more that's completely and utterly incorrect, many men will only see black girls and don't find anyone else remotely attractive. What an absolute cunt!!!
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Had a guy with an average size cock that I had to spend the whole hour telling him it was massive, literally he kept saying I know it's massive it's the best you,,'ve seen,telling me I was lucky he picked me and if I can handle it he will come back, joke is I only wank, finally got him to stop talking about his huge cock when he felt my biceps, and said show me your videos popping, so I'm wanking with one hand and playing body builder with the other arm.... Glad he was my last booking he drained me
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A client booked an hour tried overstaying...Luckily I'm well versed on this so at just over 5 past the hour I said "Ooh my next clients due soon" (it wasn't the case, I was actually really hungry but its the only language that *some* clients who don't see me as a real person but a subhuman seem to understand) ::) His response "Could you cancel him as I was trying to talk you into an extra half an hour" ::)
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Had a guy last week who was openly concerned about catching a terrible disease from me.." Oh well, at least I'll die happy! " was his conclusion :-\
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A client booked an hour tried overstaying...Luckily I'm well versed on this so at just over 5 past the hour I said "Ooh my next clients due soon" (it wasn't the case, I was actually really hungry but its the only language that *some* clients who don't see me as a real person but a subhuman seem to understand) ::) His response "Could you cancel him as I was trying to talk you into an extra half an hour" ::)
Now as were going along that you need food no client. I have said.
Unless your going to pay me three hundred quid for thirty minutes as that is what this (imaginary) client is paying for two hours then yes stay but bring out the fee first before I cancel (non existent) client.
Such guys are diks.
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Had a guy last week who was openly concerned about catching a terrible disease from me.." Oh well, at least I'll die happy! " was his conclusion :-\
Years ago one young man appeared to be the epitome of polite and respectful client when booking and was fine when he arrived and paid then we got down to it but before he touched me I heard the immortal words "are you clean?"
Can't even remember my exact reply but I know he kept his mouth shut after that and it continued ok.
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I market as a luxury experience provider and I regularly get clients looking at the bottoms
Of My shoes or in the labels of My underwear. I shut them down with a casual ‘I Told you I’m fabulous! And they don’t know what to say. But I do Find it Fucking cheeky they look at the brands of what I’m wearing. It happens I would say 70% of my time with clients. Another asking if my louboutins are real.
Another one is asking if I’m Clean. Yes because I’m totally going to do this knowingly having something and risking being done for it. I often find the ones that ask usually attempt to rub their bare genitals on mine. Again they get shut down.
The best one thought out of everything was during a duo a
Client who used to be my estate agent also burst out with ‘I brought a farm’ as he was ejaculating.
What an animal ;D
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Years ago one young man appeared to be the epitome of polite and respectful client when booking and was fine when he arrived and paid then we got down to it but before he touched me I heard the immortal words "are you clean?"
Can't even remember my exact reply but I know he kept his mouth shut after that and it continued ok.
I usually say, yes I never do bareback, and don’t have Sex in my personal life (I don’t right now). Alongside getting checked monthly. When did you last get checked? It shuts them up quickly haha and embarrassed them that they probably haven’t actually got checked for quite a while!
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I usually say, yes I never do bareback, and don’t have Sex in my personal life (I don’t right now). Alongside getting checked monthly. When did you last get checked? It shuts them up quickly haha and embarrassed them that they probably haven’t actually got checked for quite a while!
On the occasions the subject of testing and sti's has been discussed I have found most readily admit they have never been tested at all whether in civvy life when they have lots of casual and unprotected sex or when they book us! I have asked why not and they reply with all kinds of excuses.
On a positive note though one man said he got lucky with one woman on a night out but when he produced a condom she was surprised and asked him was it really necessary!
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Me again :)
New client yesterday and all went well as far as I could tell. He then asked "was it ok for you" meaning did I have pleasure.
Bless him. I know there are two camps, those who care we enjoy too and those who don't give a **** but to ask if it was ok for me as though I was a girlfriend. :)
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Idiot: can you do sixity for thirty mins.
me: NO my rates are set and non-negoitable and it's eighty pounds. There are other ladies who fit within your budget.
Idiot: Good luck getting guys to pay that much
Me: I'm doing fine and well. Good luck finding an escort who will see a haggler like yourself
Idiot: Shutup you cheap hore :FF
I would have replied well you might think I'm cheap
But at least I can spell whore properly 😂
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I would have replied well you might think I'm cheap
But at least I can spell whore properly 😂
And also...the argument began because she wasn't 'cheap enough' for him!? ::)
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Third time I have seen this man but during today's booking although it went well I was shocked when he told me the exact house another lady works from. Just came right out with it with no warning. He had been telling me of their booking because she is a dominatrix with her own (makeshift) dungeon and he was revelling in the memory ::). She advertises as in a discreet location so what would you do? Would you contact her and tell her what he said?
My immediate thought was will he tell any other sp MY exact location?
Sometimes this job throws up a stinker. :-\
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Hm... If you feel that being extra discrete about location is crucial for her, I would contact her.
I had a situation when a client revealed another sex worker's full name to me. I told her and she obviously cut him off.
I thought he was just naive and careless because of his older age, but in hindsight he was a massive twat and I should have cut him off straight away as well.
It was along the lines of "next street after the garage and 5th house along" and I already knew the town as it is very small.
The only thing putting me off contacting her is if she blasts him he will then know it is me who told her. Repercussions etc. and I have to protect myself at all costs.
Bugger!!
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It was along the lines of "next street after the garage and 5th house along" and I already knew the town as it is very small.
The only thing putting me off contacting her is if she blasts him he will then know it is me who told her. Repercussions etc. and I have to protect myself at all costs.
Bugger!!
Could you tell her without saying who told you?
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Could you tell her without saying who told you?
I would not want to contact her anonymously and no I don't see how I could tell her without her knowing I was the last escort he visited. Can't think of a way to inform her without him knowing it was me.
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Third time I have seen this man but during today's booking although it went well I was shocked when he told me the exact house another lady works from. Just came right out with it with no warning. He had been telling me of their booking because she is a dominatrix with her own (makeshift) dungeon and he was revelling in the memory ::). She advertises as in a discreet location so what would you do? Would you contact her and tell her what he said?
My immediate thought was will he tell any other sp MY exact location?
Sometimes this job throws up a stinker. :-\
I had this, a client told me another girl's address to the door number. I didn't tell her, partly due to knowing it was a working flat not her home and partly due to bad experiences when I've passed on information in the past. I did leave him feedback stating he wasn't discrete and have explained why when I've been contacted by other escorts about it
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Guy messaged me today saying he is looking for a sub booking with me. Great. Then he attempts to start backwards and forwards messaging which I nip in the bud, the end result in being told none of his messages are pertinent to a one hour booking is that he’s looking for a sub to own but lucky me, he’ll do me the honour of me paying me for our first booking. He was very quickly sent on his way.
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Client on Phone - Whats the difference between a half an hour booking and an hour
My response - 30 minutes
Hahahaha!!! This is brilliant! I'm stealing! X
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I told a regular of mine yesterday that as from today I would be taking a 2 week break from work and he asked me where abouts was I going on holiday, to which I said I was just having a staycation and he came out with this belter, ‘but if your not going away anywhere then why are you taking a break’ :FF :FF and for once I was pretty speechless and really wanted to say ‘because ignorant cunts like you that act as if I’m not human really wind me the fuck up and before I assault one of you then I need a breather’!! Pity I couldn’t say that though. >:(
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Was just asked... "How much can I sell my oral skills for? What's it worth"?
Me - "interestingly, women rarely purchase sexual services".
What else could I say?
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Crap day feeling irritated by Tw’s.. I don’t usually play along but I did with this one knowing he was a TW
Him ..do you see black men
Me ..yes black pink blue green as long as you are polite
Him .. I’m big
Me .. that’s fine I see short , fat , tall , thin not a problem ..
Him .. no I’m really big ..
Me .. like I said I see short fat tall thin
Him .. no my cock is 13inches big black cock
Me .. oh ( acting thick ) .. that’s fine who told you it was big ? I’d say that was average size ..so yes not a problem .. see you soon ..
he didn’t txt again ..
idiot ! ...
Another .. same day ..
Him ...always wanted to shag an older woman
Me .. ok how old are you ( expecting 20s)
Him oh I’m 36 ..
me I’m 38 ..
Him what would you do to me .. ?
Me NOthing your too old I like them younger ( I don’t but thought piss off )
I was like REALLY ! ..
xxx
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Yes I too like to occasionally wind them up just for my own amusement. Mostly I ignore or block but one man asked could I show my passport or driving licence to him on arrival. ::) ???
I asked why and he said he needed to know I was British. I told him ok fine if he could bring his too.
Strange I never got to meet that man, still scratching my head.
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Crap day feeling irritated by Tw’s.. I don’t usually play along but I did with this one knowing he was a TW
Him ..do you see black men
Me ..yes black pink blue green as long as you are polite
Him .. I’m big
Me .. that’s fine I see short , fat , tall , thin not a problem ..
Him .. no I’m really big ..
Me .. like I said I see short fat tall thin
Him .. no my cock is 13inches big black cock
Me .. oh ( acting thick ) .. that’s fine who told you it was big ? I’d say that was average size ..so yes not a problem .. see you soon ..
he didn’t txt again ..
idiot ! ...
Another .. same day ..
Him ...always wanted to shag an older woman
Me .. ok how old are you ( expecting 20s)
Him oh I’m 36 ..
me I’m 38 ..
Him what would you do to me .. ?
Me NOthing your too old I like them younger ( I don’t but thought piss off )
I was like REALLY ! ..
xxx
I really liked this hahhaahah ;D Fantastic....I will copy it for some TW some day :-*
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New client asked would I please wear pvc so happy to say yes I waited for him.
New owners moving in next door today so some coming and going throughout the day. I opened my door to him but stood behind it and popped my head around as you do.
"a bit cloak and dagger isn't it?" he said. I got him in and reminded him it was not cloak and dagger but called discretion!
He had been a bit brash on the phone and kept interupting me (something I have low tolerance for) so I knew he would be a tricky one and he was. Glad I refused the two hours he wanted and said I could only do an hour.
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I hate when I open the hotel room door and they say hello really loud, I just ignore them while I slowly shut the door and then reply!
I already ask them not to knock so I'll need to ask them to keep their mouth shut too until I've closed the door. It's like discretion works one way but not the other. :FF :FF :FF
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Idiot: I know you have little feedback on your aw profile but will you take 120 as your feedback is low.
Me: NO. As you said you read my profile in full it clearly states my rates are non-negotiable and I don't provide discount. If you can't afford my 140 fee I suggest you seek a provider who is at 120.
Idiot:I thought you would want the money as your feedback is low.
Me: Take care goodbye. Blocked the dick head. :FF
The cheek!
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I think this was a first for me. Man telling me about what he and his wife get up to sexually which was ok I suppose but then he calls out her name and started calling me her name. This continued as the booking went along and it was obviously no mistake on his part. I said "Claire is a nice name I have always liked it" and he got even more excited.
Takes all kinds in this job.
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I think this was a first for me. Man telling me about what he and his wife get up to sexually which was ok I suppose but then he calls out her name and started calling me her name. This continued as the booking went along and it was obviously no mistake on his part. I said "Claire is a nice name I have always liked it" and he got even more excited.
Takes all kinds in this job.
As long as it doesn't happen the other way around! :o :o :o
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Hm? That he wants to be called Claire? :)
:)
I once had a cross dresser client called Claire.
Back to topic though, I have wondered if a client HAS ever called his other half by his favourite or reg service provider name. Shudder to think the reaction and excuse he would come up with.
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Don’t ask me how but I’ve managed to get someone I know to buy clips from me for quite a lot of money. He knows he’s going to pay, but can’t resist trying for free. Today whilst haggling he sent me a picture of his cock and said ‘surely a picture of my hard cock is enough payment?’ 😂😂 they really have no idea do they. I don’t think he has actually dealt with the escort/punter lifestyle, I know him through civvie life, so I’m making the most of this before he discovers webcams!
I think this was a first for me. Man telling me about what he and his wife get up to sexually which was ok I suppose but then he calls out her name and started calling me her name. This continued as the booking went along and it was obviously no mistake on his part. I said "Claire is a nice name I have always liked it" and he got even more excited.
Takes all kinds in this job.
This has made my day 😂
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.
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Hi,
Would you take shaving cream pies to the face and body?
Thanks
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"I'm so pleasantly surprised; you're just like a real woman! Wait, sorry, that sounded bad but you know what I mean - like, you can hold a conversation! It's amazing!"
::)
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Earlier today:
Me: (in response to comment about my height) I haven't really grown much since I was 13
Punter: Were you doing this when you were 13?
Me: You might want to try and get that sentence back in your mouth before anybody notices it
Boak :-X
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Earlier today:
Me: (in response to comment about my height) I haven't really grown much since I was 13
Punter: Were you doing this when you were 13?
Me: You might want to try and get that sentence back in your mouth before anybody notices it
Boak :-X
Amy I do like your wittiness!! I really have to think before I try to be witty!!
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I was laid on the bed with a client the other day and he said, “you have a lovely body, I could just sit and stare at it all day” which was fine.
Then he said, “that probably sounds a bit creepy, but then again I’m sure you’re used to having loads of old men perving over you constantly” :-X
It didn’t is help the he said it in the slimiest way possible too!
The same man was also incredibly condescending and each time he complimented me and I said thank you, he told me off like I was a small child. I had to say “mhm” instead and then he complained when he left that I seemed awkward during the booking. No ones ever said that ever who I’m aware of.
I was finding it very difficult to be relaxed and natural when I was trying so hard to literally not be my natural self as it was such an issue that I said thank you! :FF
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AW email:
Hi, I would like to book you next week but could you please send me a photo of your face before I do?
This is because I am young.
:-\
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Had a guy the other day giving me the whole ‘ why are you doing this’ bollocks and going on to patronise me about that this is not ‘good’ to be doing. But it’s okay for him to see prostitutes.
Had a booking just now and the guy at the end referred to a certain forum ( I can’t stand it when they do this) and that he had seen posts about me etc... I get irritated when I get punters from that medium but the trouble is in this game you never know who is going to book
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Him: Your hands are shaking. Is it because you're so excited?
Me: It's low blood sugar, I skipped breakfast.
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I used to have this regular who'd buy me very random, thoughtful but a bit naff, gifts, starting from a little opened box of perfume miniatures to a multipack of snickers bars.
Then one time he bought me a travellers guide to Romania. He wasn't Romanian and we'd never discussed Romania or me having any plans to go there on holiday. He just handed it to me whilst looking over at my bookcase and said earnestly "...because I know how much you like reading."
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Phoned me today and he had the kind of voice I instantly don't want to meet.
Him Thought I might try a 15 minute booking with you today.
Me Sorry I don't do them
Silence
Me So I will have to say goodbye
Then a text from him "30minutes?"
Me No thank you
Another text "an hour?"
I ignored him after that.
::)
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Text me today. I'm not working anyway but...
"I'm texting you because my wife is sleeping and I want to see you asap."
WTAF!
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Second visit to a guy and only because his house was on my way home. His first sentence this time referred to his neighbours as scumbags ( a white family, just leaving as I arrived ) used the 'P' and 'N' words when describing his hatred of London and to cap it all, as I sat astride him he drunkenly declared I was; " older than 40 odd " - my actual age .
Got his cosmic karma when I wouldn't stay 1 second longer than my half hour. His bigotry robbed him of his orgasm. Sorry pal, I did try.. >:D
Total twat.
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First thing this morning:
[punter arrives, looks me up and down] 'Oh. I thought you might be wearing blue'. 'Why?' 'I like blue'
???
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"I know you're not Eastern European, but I want to pay you Eastern European rates". ::) ???
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Bloke rang, asked if I was free tonight. I said no, then he asked if I do anal. I sighed, and said no. He replied, 'Go on, try it you fat bitch', so I put the phone down.
Two seconds later, he texted: 'U fat swetty whore'
Me 'At least I can spell though... :-)'
It must be fruitloop Friday as also had a bloke pretending to a woman, asking if I did lesbian bookings and then saying he wanted my pussy. I put the phone down, and he rang back, using his normal voice, saying he wasn't really a woman (!!) he was just bored. I told him he was sad and refused to engage in a discussion about it. Give me strength!
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Bloke rang, asked if I was free tonight. I said no, then he asked if I do anal. I sighed, and said no. He replied, 'Go on, try it you fat bitch', so I put the phone down.
Two seconds later, he texted: 'U fat swetty whore'
Me 'At least I can spell though... :-)'
It must be fruitloop Friday as also had a bloke pretending to a woman, asking if I did lesbian bookings and then saying he wanted my pussy. I put the phone down, and he rang back, using his normal voice, saying he wasn't really a woman (!!) he was just bored. I told him he was sad and refused to engage in a discussion about it. Give me strength!
Sometimes they are so bad they are good.
This was one I had a long time ago but as insults go it was lovely.
I bet your fanny's as wide as the Mersey tunnel
Was tempted to reply Not quite, but getting there. :P
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After multiple daily unanswered texts and calls asking if I am available (this guy is titled "ignore" in the phone), he texts:
"This is why you have no money and are skint, because you are refusing to see me"
Ok then pal ;)
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.
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Him: You remind me of someone
Me: Oh yeah? Who's that then
Him: I was in jail for 3 years and you remind me of the female guard I had a relationship with
Me: ... OK....
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.
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Client I seen yesterday kept comparing me to the girl he saw the day previous, along with being incredibly indiscreet despite me asking him to stop. I now know her age, real name, how old her child is, her civvie profession and the fact she apparently barebacked him.
I hope she told him a pack of lies and the bb thing was him trying it on
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Him: You remind me of someone
Me: Oh yeah? Who's that then
Him: I was in jail for 3 years and you remind me of the female guard I had a relationship with
Me: ... OK....
You can probably buy a prison warder's outfit and jangle some keys around your waist, could be a good earner for you. ;)
Client I seen yesterday kept comparing me to the girl he saw the day previous, along with being incredibly indiscreet despite me asking him to stop. I now know her age, real name, how old her child is, her civvie profession and the fact she apparently barebacked him.
I hope she told him a pack of lies and the bb thing was him trying it on
Clients should not be mentioning previous escorts at all and why they feel it a must to name drop and boast of other bookings etc I will never know. I met a client last month who told me some very worrying and indiscreet things about other wgs in my area. Whether all true or not is neither here nor there.
Just the other day one told me exactly where his daughter works. Stupid man. I used to see a teacher and he booked using his full and proper names. The school he taught at is near to me as he let slip some info which made it obvious and he had no idea how dangerous that information could be in the wrong hands.
Brains in underpants springs to mind, over and over again.
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I now know her age, real name, how old her child is, her civvie profession and the fact she apparently barebacked him.
I hope she told him a pack of lies and the bb thing was him trying it on
Some will not stop talking.
I had to ban a man from my new apartment as he was telling me exact details of others apartments one was a non advertiser who he insisted telling me her door number and the colour of the door and her exact services etc.
He is slightly deaf and just keeps talking.
2 years later he still tries to book me.
I am not letting him know my new address.
I have told him why but he does not understand.
Others love to say this one or that one got high all night and forgot to ask for condoms or said no its better without!
They do love to boast about what they have been told.
IMO the most dangerous ones are the charmers who friend chat all your info then fall out with you.
Mouths shut ladies.
Also if you have let them take a photo of you believe me they are showing it to everyone
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You can probably buy a prison warder's outfit and jangle some keys around your waist, could be a good earner for you. ;)
Clients should not be mentioning previous escorts at all and why they feel it a must to name drop and boast of other bookings etc I will never know. I met a client last month who told me some very worrying and indiscreet things about other wgs in my area. Whether all true or not is neither here nor there.
Just the other day one told me exactly where his daughter works. Stupid man. I used to see a teacher and he booked using his full and proper names. The school he taught at is near to me as he let slip some info which made it obvious and he had no idea how dangerous that information could be in the wrong hands.
Brains in underpants springs to mind, over and over again.
Yep!
Had a guy who went on a well known forum and wrote a scathing review of me. I knew it was him right away.
He was extremely indiscreet during the brief booking we had.
Spoke about another escort with a similar name to mine and how he had read all about her and how awful she was... that he would never book her etc.
I replied saying I didn’t read forums and he smirked and said ‘I’ve heard all about you!’
He then made several disclosures about a working flat a short walk from my location. Told me where he lived. He also said he bumps onto the working girls from the flat when he is out with his ‘missus’ and says hello to them (his wife none the wiser)
He also told me where his daughter went to school and how he picks her up everyday.
This was all in a 15 minute booking which allegedly was so bad in his eyes lol according to his ‘interpretation’ of it. I couldn’t wait for him to leave.
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Yep!
Had a guy who went on a well known forum and wrote a scathing review of me. I knew it was him right away.
He was extremely indiscreet during the brief booking we had.
Spoke about another escort with a similar name to mine and how he had read all about her and how awful she was... that he would never book her etc.
I replied saying I didn’t read forums and he smirked and said ‘I’ve heard all about you!’
He then made several disclosures about a working flat a short walk from my location. Told me where he lived. He also said he bumps onto the working girls from the flat when he is out with his ‘missus’ and says hello to them (his wife none the wiser)
He also told me where his daughter went to school and how he picks her up everyday.
This was all in a 15 minute booking which allegedly was so bad in his eyes lol according to his ‘interpretation’ of it. I couldn’t wait for him to leave.
Sometimes I think there are a small number of probably virulently misogynist punters who go out of their way to have a bad time with us in order to ferment their own anger and bolster their own self importance. They are the ones who start off comms with a kind of matronly air of 'I want to know I'm going to get what you promised/don't muck me about now will you?' and spout of about every Tom, Dick and Harriet in the business as though they've got 'an inside look' and give you their little thesis on the 'psychology of prostitutes'or some such.
And I suspect his wife probably has noticed something, poor woman.
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Client- Hi there, would you consider letting me use a hoover on you as a sexual toy?
Me- In what sense?
Client - In that I would love to see the suction all over your incredible body.
Me- So you want to hoover me?
???
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Client- Hi there, would you consider letting me use a hoover on you as a sexual toy?
Me- In what sense?
Client - In that I would love to see the suction all over your incredible body.
Me- So you want to hoover me?
???
I've had a guy ask me this (not sure if it is the same guy) but he was very serious and looking at his feedback he has done it with other girls. I just had visions of him dragging a Henry hoover or a Dyson into the hotel with him!
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I've had a guy ask me this (not sure if it is the same guy) but he was very serious and looking at his feedback he has done it with other girls. I just had visions of him dragging a Henry hoover or a Dyson into the hotel with him!
:D thats too funny... sounds like the same one, I had a look at his feedback too. I got a bit nervous after he said he wanted to vacuum my boobs and told him it would probably hurt... he just hung up straight away. On reflection a man with a hoover fetish is probably a once in a life time opportunity to many house wives x
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Client- Hi there, would you consider letting me use a hoover on you as a sexual toy?
Me- In what sense?
Client - In that I would love to see the suction all over your incredible body.
Me- So you want to hoover me?
???
If he stuck ( or sucked ;D ) to my neck, back and bottom I think I would quite like this..
He's going nowhere near my breasts though..🤔
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If he stuck ( or sucked ;D ) to my neck, back and bottom I think I would quite like this..
He's going nowhere near my breasts though..🤔
He wanted to hoover my tits. Ouchie.
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Have I been getting it wrong all these years?!
A man I have seen a few times thought he would be helpful on his last visit (yes his last ever AFAIAC) by telling me the clean up I was doing was not correct. "Should it not be wipe first and then tissues?" he squeaked.
Absorb the spillage with tissues and then clean up with a wipe, surely?
::)
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Have I been getting it wrong all these years?!
A man I have seen a few times thought he would be helpful on his last visit (yes his last ever AFAIAC) by telling me the clean up I was doing was not correct. "Should it not be wipe first and then tissues?" he squeaked.
Absorb the spillage with tissues and then clean up with a wipe, surely?
::)
This made me laugh! I could be wrong too then, I always use wipes and usually just wipes, no tissue / bog roll at all. Sometimes they just go to the shower but I always make sure there is nothing that will drip off as they walk over, more for my bed sheets than concern for them though! ;D
I really just improvise but if someone told me I was doing it wrong I'd have to bin him off too, can't be doing with that!
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I had a booking yesterday- all seemed okay. Then a few minutes into the booking -looking quite disappointed he said "Erm you seem quite intelligent and sensible - I thought you'd be a dizzy blonde". Me " Well I am sorry". He said "Oh not to worry - I like dizzy blondes that's all" ???
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Client - you don't look 35
Me - what does a 35 look like
Client - saggy and wrinkly
:FF :FF :FF :FF
At that point want to tell them I'm actually 41
.
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Client - you don't look 35
Me - what does a 35 look like
Client - saggy and wrinkly
:FF :FF :FF :FF
At that point want to tell them I'm actually 41
.
I think so many have taken 15+ years off the men have no idea what real age looks like.
I wonder how old his 35 year old was really
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I think so many have taken 15+ years off the men have no idea what real age looks like.
I wonder how old his 35 year old was really
"Yeah, I can tell by your ballsack you're in your early 60s"
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I think so many have taken 15+ years off the men have no idea what real age looks like.
I wonder how old his 35 year old was really
This is so true. i'm not even sure if anyone is really ever 35, I find 35,36 and 38 are code ages for the over 40s and the completely deluded over 50s ;D
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This is so true. i'm not even sure if anyone is really ever 35, I find 35,36 and 38 are code ages for the over 40s and the completely deluded over 50s ;D
I know, I've always used my exact real age, nobody has ever said I looked shite for my age! I do think if you are 50 and say you are 40 then you are really running the risk of people thinking you look old for your age. In actual fact you probably don't, but how many of us genuinely look ten years younger than our age? Some but not many. I would hate to drop a few years on my age and have someone think I look old!
I often get 'you look a lot younger' 8) but that's because I'm being honest and perhaps men are used to (perhaps more with the more mature ladies) people saying they are younger than they are.
It's easy to think the guy who said 35 was saggy and wrinkly is being rude, unless his '35' year old was actually 50... :D
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I know a girl who has 2 very different profiles one 27 the other 38 all good reviews on them :o
Her real age 41
I took 5 years off my age I always get told I look much younger I like it i wont go too low on age and get no compliments that would be sad
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Third time I have seen this man but during today's booking although it went well I was shocked when he told me the exact house another lady works from. Just came right out with it with no warning. He had been telling me of their booking because she is a dominatrix with her own (makeshift) dungeon and he was revelling in the memory ::). She advertises as in a discreet location so what would you do? Would you contact her and tell her what he said?
My immediate thought was will he tell any other sp MY exact location?
Sometimes this job throws up a stinker. :-\
I opened the door to a guy and immediately recognised him from a swingers club I had attended, so he knew my real name. During the booking he started telling me about another lady in our area who is the same age as me. He told me exactly where she lived which turned out to be in the next road to where I live, her name and all about her drink problem :FF.
I thought thank god you don’t know where I live, knowing my name is bad enough. I have refused to see him since.
One man sat chatting with me as he had time left and was revelling in being with a whore, his 60th birthday treat to himself, had never done it before. He turned to me and asked had I ever been raided by the police. He was quite dissapionted when I told him we had done nothing illegal. I think I spoilt his birthday.
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. He turned to me and asked had I ever been raided by the police. He was quite dissapionted when I told him we had done nothing illegal. I think I spoilt his birthday.
:D ;) :P >:D :D
So many of them tell even the colour of the paint on the door and they wont stop.
Yes they will tell yours to everyone for sure and if you tell them anything they will tell everyone that you told them your real name or whatever because yous are such good friends.
They like to boast and gossip.
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When some guy a decade or so younger than you emails you informing you he is looking for you to be his new sugar-baby :FF
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“I give my partner multiple orgasms”
“Really”?
I leave him for second go into bathroom come out in stockings and heels, his cock is twitching all over the place, I start some soft foreplay and he cums in my hand!
“Er that’s never happened before”
You and 10000 others!!
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"will anyone see me coming in "
"Does that window open do you think I can get out that way"
He was serious I am thinking of stopping I can not take this any more where is the burnt out thread :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
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"will anyone see me coming in "
"Does that window open do you think I can get out that way"
He was serious I am thinking of stopping I can not take this any more where is the burnt out thread :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
That's the 2 year old in an adult body talking :)
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That's the 2 year old in an adult body talking :)
Troubling thing is he looks so normal
they walk among us cue creepy horror tory music
Now text from another one
Hey do u cater to fetish?
next text ?
******
Im not answering that could be anything if he wont ring and talk :(
Going for a walk
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Me: "oooh, you've chucked your loose change into my knickers"
Him: "That totally isn't your tip by the way"
Me: "well at least it wasn't coppers"
Him: "Imagine if it was. Hey love here's 22 p"
It was a great booking. I kind of wish I lived her so I could upgrade him!
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I have just had a guy email through AW wanting to book 30 min when I was next free I said what about 4pm he replied I have my daughter with me but it's ok she could sit in your living room and watch TV, I asked if he was joking and he said "what babe it's just like taking her to a friends", I was too gob smacked to think of a response and blocked him!
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I have just had a guy email through AW wanting to book 30 min when I was next free I said what about 4pm he replied I have my daughter with me but it's ok she could sit in your living room and watch TV, I asked if he was joking and he said "what babe it's just like taking her to a friends", I was too gob smacked to think of a response and blocked him!
Jesus wept - what runs through these cretins minds?!
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My profile clearly states I do not do outfit request.
" do you have any leather to wear for me "
- " sorry I do not take outfit requests "
- " How about PVC? "
- " How about good old fashioned SKIN "
Blocked :FF
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Idiot - How clean are you
Me - Same question applies to you
Idiot - I'm Married
Me - STD's does not make exemptions for married folk
Him - Do you get checked
Me - Would you like to stay enjoy your booking or you rather I escort you out my room with no refund
Idiot - I do apologise let us carry on.
(Bearing in mind I don't do bareback or owo) *no offence to those that do owo* but still fool dik head with attitude thinks working females are dirty.
:FF
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A fairly ' normal' client, as he was getting dressed after I had gently told him the hour was now up ::)
Him: Oh yeah I should have asked earlier but you do get tested don't you?"
Me: Yes I Do, do you?
Him: looking at me rather oddly, er um
Me: Well you can catch things from oral without don't you know that?
Him: Err ye uh umm
I'm still undecided whether it was an attempt to lash out at me for not letting him over stay or whether he genuinely is unaware of risk ??? ::)
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On Friday I had to listen to this one, "It was a toss up, my daughter's school nativity concert or coming to see you"
I am rarely gobsmacked and lost for words so said nothing and just smiled. ???
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A fairly ' normal' client, as he was getting dressed after I had gently told him the hour was now up ::)
Him: Oh yeah I should have asked earlier but you do get tested don't you?"
Me: Yes I Do, do you?
Him: looking at me rather oddly, er um
Me: Well you can catch things from oral without don't you know that?
Him: Err ye uh umm
I'm still undecided whether it was an attempt to lash out at me for not letting him over stay or whether he genuinely is unaware of risk ??? ::)
Or one law for us, one for them.
Because we must be the ones who are a risky proposition, right. We get regularly tested but they don’t feel any obligation to do so ::)
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In the middle of things and the client touched my flank and jumped like he'd been electrocuted....'your very solid!'
This is maybe what horses at auction feel like ;D
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In the middle of things and the client touched my flank and jumped like he'd been electrocuted....'your very solid!'
This is maybe what horses at auction feel like ;D
Sorry What is *flank* ? Not used to certain lingo x
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Oops good point Dynamite ;D it's usually used for animals-between ribs and hips...loin or haunch if your asking at the meat counter
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Oops good point Dynamite ;D it's usually used for animals-between ribs and hips...loin or haunch if your asking at the meat counter
Ohhhhh ;D You learn something new everyday on here. x
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love handles for those of us who arn't firm lol xx
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Phone call -
Him: do you offer owo
Me: sorry I don’t
Him: why not
Me: personal choice to protect myself from infections
Him: but I can’t catch anything from you
Me: maybe not from me but it’s a possibility from someone else. Catching stuff isn’t a one way street, both people are open to getting something
Him: I didn’t know I can catch something
Me: how old are you?
Him: ok bye
It doesn’t even matter who has a higher percentage of catching anything but for a grown man to say he didn’t know he is open to infections with an unprotected sexual activity, I call BS!
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"So are your neighbours cool with you doing this?" Me "Eh - they don't actually know" -"Wow - really?" Me- "Yeh I took the red light down." " Ah okay "
"Are you available now?" Me "I'm sorry - "I'm not at home at the moment" - "But I can be with you in 5 minutes" Me -"But I'm not at home" "But I can come now" :FF
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Him....Can we film us having sex on your iPad so it's for your eyes only?
Me......... it's not something I'd like to watch actually.
Him.........but it'd be so sexy!!!
HOW?!!!!!
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Him: "can you dominate me?"
Me: "Yes I can do that."
Him: "will you break my 2 pinky fingers"
BLOCKED
Second clown.
Him: "My girlfriend's at work, but I really need something up my arse."
Me: "I can help with that"
Him: " my little boy is here, but he won't come in the bedroom if he's watching telly, is that ok?"
BLOCK
Sometimes there will never be an explanation or answer
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When they are new to seeing escorts and they say 'Can you come and pick me up from X as it may be easier for you'. To pick up drive back see to them then drop them back off.
WTF.
This potential gem had issues with driving on motorways despite having lived up this region all his life.
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"Can you do something with the price? I'll have to get a taxi over."
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"Can you do something with the price? I'll have to get a taxi over."
Answer 'Yes I can put it up!' :)
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(Text message)
Can you squirt properly?
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I have had lots of different excused for clients cancelling last minute, but today I had a new one that took me by surprise.
"Sorry I can't make the appointment but my wife and I unexpectedly had sex last night after she drank too much on her birthday. We have not had sex for over a year and there is no way I could do it again today because all my spunk has gone in my wife. I think it will be another year before we do it again so I'll rebook with you next week when my balls are full again"
Err? Laugh or cry?
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Reading stuff with a coffee because I can't sleep...just narrowly avoided ruining the laptop laughing at this...
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Is that legit you in the pictures? :FF :FF :FF
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Is that legit you in the pictures? :FF :FF :FF
I've so often replied to this with "No it's my Grandma"
And the next text from them reads "Oh fuck your arse looks so fuckable"
They really don't give a fuck what we reply, they just wank over the thought that we've given them an iota of our energy.
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Is that legit you in the pictures? :FF :FF :FF
I reply. No ive stolen them off another girls website. Would you like her number? :)
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I used to be a self-harmer so have scars - he asked if he could watch me cut myself while he wanked :o
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I reply. No ive stolen them off another girls website. Would you like her number? :)
😁Trouble is, most of the guys who ask me this are thick as pig shit don't understand irony...
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:FF ;D
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I used to be a self-harmer so have scars - he asked if he could watch me cut myself while he wanked :o
That is so messed up. What a disgusting creep!!!
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I was told by a long time regular that if he was younger, he would have married me and that if he had married me instead of his ex wife his life would have been better....then he booked me for a full days booking, made me pay for my lunch and at the end said he thought he wouldn't need to pay any more as were friends.
I stupidly saw him again thinking he would pay me what he owed and because i was shy and didnt ask for it, again he didn't pay, instead said he would buy me a weekly shop or lend me money if I was struggling.
I sent him a calm but straight message (as he was so sensitive and often talked about his depression) explaining why I couldn't see him anymore and blocked him.
Continues to message with emotional messages about depression and how he misses me.
I just want the grand he owes me.....the entitled and delusional so and so!!
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(Ugly guy)"I loved our meet so much, I am going to arrange a date for us so that we can start dating"
Like what? That sounds like I do not get a say in the matter and why would I want to date someone that I have only met once and that paid me for sex. I can do so much better!
Safe to say I politely declined. I get asked about dating alot or seeing them outside of work and just explain that I keep work and social separately, so do not meet clients in a social setting.
Or the typical "Be my girlfriend and you won't ever have to work this job again. I will spoil you"
But I enjoy my job and my independence. I hate guys that think it is all about money and you'll give it up as soon as they show you a way out, haha.
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Also the assumption that you would wish to marry them at all in the first place. Surely we would have choice in the matter?!
The idea that we need rescuing is quite frankly ridiculous if you ask me.
It is a rare man that can accept we prefer our independence and aren't seeking to be bailed out at any given moment. That we are quite happy doing the job.
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Also the assumption that you would wish to marry them at all in the first place. Surely we would have choice in the matter?!
Yes, the assumption is why drives me nuts - just because they like us they assume that we feel the same.
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Also the assumption that you would wish to marry them at all in the first place. Surely we would have choice in the matter?!
The idea that we need rescuing is quite frankly ridiculous if you ask me.
It is a rare man that can accept we prefer our independence and aren't seeking to be bailed out at any given moment. That we are quite happy doing the job.
Exactly! I definitely do not need rescuing. I do the job out of choice. Plus why would a young girl want to marry a 70 year old man xD. It baffles me that they expect us to jump at the chance.
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Slightly off point but the fact that men perceive us women need rescuing is quite a common view in general if they know we are single. They assume single means available. As 90 per cent of single men cannot cope on their own so they naturally assume we must be exactly the same.
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Last night
*same delusional ex regular*: I have nothing to live for now, you win.
:FF
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By mail with over 300 feedbacks ....
"Would be delighted to meet you for a 2 hour booking today
My Aw feedback is upto date
I am very attentive with stamina
Bareback considered at an additional fee"
The word bareback just feels me with dread :FF
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By mail with over 300 feedbacks ....
Bareback considered at an additional fee"
The word bareback just feels me with dread :FF
Hes worded that like hes doing you the favour lol x
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Last night
*same delusional ex regular*: I have nothing to live for now, you win.
:FF
Id reply with oh no you clearly won when you had a full days booking and never paid :FF
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Hes worded that like hes doing you the favour lol x
Yes I thought as much Gina ;D ;D >:(
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Mine is a simple answer to the thread question today.
Email arrived and his first word to me was "Sugar" then went on to tell me how great HE was blagh blagh blagh
Calling me Sugar ensures we will not meet.
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Yes, the assumption is why drives me nuts - just because they like us they assume that we feel the same.
Yes, I used to get a few different Clients lamenting the fact they hadn't met me in the real world eg: on a night out. They seemed to really believe I would have been interested in them for free, indeed that they were doing me a favour :-\
I have also had guys in their 20's (I'm in my 50's) asking me to service them for free "Be my girlfriend?" following their own porn star performances in the bedroom :-X
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He asked Did you ever think all those years ago when you were at school that you would be doing this work one day?
I did not actually give him a reply at all but just a look which he could have interpreted as this man is a jerk but doubt he did.
What would you have said to this one? ???
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He asked Did you ever think all those years ago when you were at school that you would be doing this work one day?
...
What would you have said to this one? ???
"Did YOU ever think all those years ago when YOU were at school that you would be buying sex one day?"
(FYI: personally, I am ALL FOR people buying sex as long as both buyer and seller are consenting adults, of course ;D)
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Working a few weeks ago in a big city.
Me: Please park on X Road as the hotel has parking eye. Call me when you're parked and I'll give you my room number.
Him: OK
Him: [arrives for booking] I didn't park on the road you suggested as it has a bad reputation.
Note - I had checked out the road both on car and on foot. There was nothing on earth to suggest it was dodgy. I mean I've lived in sink estates and the posh part of town. This road was all privately owned houses.
Him: My car is worth £150,000 so I didn't want to risk it
Me: Maybe leave it at home and get the bus then?
This was 10 days ago and I still have the rage.
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Working a few weeks ago in a big city.
Me: Please park on X Road as the hotel has parking eye. Call me when you're parked and I'll give you my room number.
Him: OK
Him: [arrives for booking] I didn't park on the road you suggested as it has a bad reputation.
Note - I had checked out the road both on car and on foot. There was nothing on earth to suggest it was dodgy. I mean I've lived in sink estates and the posh part of town. This road was all privately owned houses.
Him: My car is worth £150,000 so I didn't want to risk it
Me: Maybe leave it at home and get the bus then?
This was 10 days ago and I still have the rage.
I remember when I stayed in a perfectly respectable part of Glasgow years back and the client asked 2/3 times if his car would be ‘safe’.
I was indignant as ok it was the East End of Glasgow but it was perfectly safe, and I told him so!
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Me and a client were returning to hotel after a social booking, it was late Saturday evening so town was busy with the usual scenes - people stoating about, girls dressed up.
Client: "it's no wonder some of these girls wind up getting themselves raped"
I fucking kid you not.
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Me and a client were returning to hotel after a social booking, it was late Saturday evening so town was busy with the usual scenes - people stoating about, girls dressed up.
Client: "it's no wonder some of these girls wind up getting themselves raped"
I fucking kid you not.
Jesus Christ. I probably wouldn't have said anything as when I'm working I can't be arsed with the potential confrontation when they say shitty stuff but I know for a fact my face wouldn't have hidden what I was I thinking >:(
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Oh no, I set him straight. Nobody can dare make a statement like that infront of me!
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Good for you!!! How did he react? I hope it sank in!!
I went to see what would have been a new reg this week. I'm unlucky enough to have got a black eye at the moment, (not the result of anything sinister btw) and my client commented on it as he could see it under my make up. I explained what happened and said it's been embarrassing when I've nipped out of the house without make up on and people are obviously noticing it and he made quite a shitty and very distasteful joke about domestic violence.
I won't be seeing him again now following that and I wish now maybe I should have taken a leaf out of your book and put him straight.
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Potential new and obviously Nervous client worried about being recognised asked me if he could wear a face mask when he visited !!!
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He asked Did you ever think all those years ago when you were at school that you would be doing this work one day?
I did not actually give him a reply at all but just a look which he could have interpreted as this man is a jerk but doubt he did.
What would you have said to this one? ???
"I really do not like to talk about children or anything to do with them when having sex"
I always say that.
Child anything makes me want to heave in a booking even if it is an innocent question before or after so if before or after I say I dont talk abut children darling.
So wrong to ask about private family anything and children anything during sex is :-X :FF
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Some guy has just phoned me wanting to ask about a prostate massage and i could hear his kid saying "daddy daddy icecream" i just said seriously you couldnt wait until you were alone and put the phone down.
WTF goes on in their minds, i hate any talk of children. I dont mind some general talk of their wife as long as they are being respectful. I hate the guys who start slagging their wifes or taking the piss out of them. I have no problem telling them they are out of order as i would not be accepting another booking from them anyway. If they can speak about their loved ones like that God knows how they will be speaking about us.
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- 'Do you have daddy issues?'
- 'Why are you here? You're better than this!'
- 'Excuse me I paid for you! I can do what I want!'
Just a few things I've been told by clients >:(
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When they ask 'What got you into this'. I find it very intrusive. We don't ask them why they are visiting us after all do we.
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Can I come just for 5 minutes for £20?
I have no objection to the odd quickie but this was a bit far fetched.
Another one from this weekend. Do you think you will be doing "this" for the rest of your life?
Bloody hell ::)
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I hate the rate haggling it’s such bad manners. Can you do half hour for £40, no I fucking cant it’s £60 take or leave it. I wonder if when I go to Sainsbury’s tomorrow they will accept £75 for my £100 shop
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An ex client once made the passing comment that prostitution was derogatory. At the time I told him what a hypocrite he was paying me and complaining. I didn't see him again or answer his messages as he kept asking for bareback.
He also visited a working girl and said same thing to her as we used to duo together in the past.
She did keep seeing him though.
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I used to be a self-harmer so have scars - he asked if he could watch me cut myself while he wanked :o
Oh god That is vile. I am sorry you experienced such a disgusting pig :(
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I used to be a self-harmer so have scars - he asked if he could watch me cut myself while he wanked :o
That's awful, I have visible scars too and I've had clients point them out and ask about them, it's none of their business!
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- 'Do you have daddy issues?'
- 'Why are you here? You're better than this!'
- 'Excuse me I paid for you! I can do what I want!'
Just a few things I've been told by clients >:(
Jaysu I think I would kill on the spot
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When they ask 'What got you into this'. I find it very intrusive. We don't ask them why they are visiting us after all do we.
I bite my tongue and have so far resisted saying widowed with children facing eviction but im here cos im horny for your cock and i want to suck it some more - I really am too polite
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I've been under a lot of stress lately and I've lost weight. A long standing reg booked - he has pissed me off before , but nothing approaching this. Anyway I undressed and he said "Jesus - your tits have got smaller". Apart from pissing me off - its actually given me a complex. :'( I won't be seeing him again - but the damage is done
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I rarely do dinner dates and now I remember why..
I've eaten my dinner. Which was one main not five!
- " do you think you are over eating because of this line of work? "
Im a size 8 !
:FF
" I hate tattoos they looks so disgusting "
- me led next to him naked with 10 tattoos, with my profile stating I HAVE MANY TATTOOS and he's seen me before !
:FF
Bloccckkkkkeeeddd
-
I rarely do dinner dates and now I remember why..
I've eaten my dinner. Which was one main not five!
- " do you think you are over eating because of this line of work? "
Im a size 8 !
:FF
" I hate tattoos they looks so disgusting "
- me led next to him naked with 10 tattoos, with my profile stating I HAVE MANY TATTOOS and he's seen me before !
:FF
Bloccckkkkkeeeddd
Sounds like he’s trying that ‘negging’ thing guys seem to still get a kick out of. Hope you didn’t give him any reaction to those comments, they hate the none reaction. Lol. Xx
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I have had lots of different excused for clients cancelling last minute, but today I had a new one that took me by surprise.
"Sorry I can't make the appointment but my wife and I unexpectedly had sex last night after she drank too much on her birthday. We have not had sex for over a year and there is no way I could do it again today because all my spunk has gone in my wife. I think it will be another year before we do it again so I'll rebook with you next week when my balls are full again"
Err? Laugh or cry?
Wahahahahaha; this is BRILLIANT!!!!
Just catching up with this thread I've not read in a while and this is responsible for giving me the biggest belly laugh I've had so far this week, in fact my pop nearly came out of my nose... :D ;D
If it was true, I'd give him full marks for being direct and if just a load- of-rubbish-excuse he'd still score for amusement points for imagination/iventiveness..... Reckon his wife getting pissed & screwing him was just wishful thinking???
:D
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I've had a few in the past tell me they love me during sex. Like I get its part of the fantesy but always freaks me out x
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I've had a few in the past tell me they love me during sex. Like I get its part of the fantesy but always freaks me out x
I've had this and I always ended up wanting to reply with 'That's niiiice!' in a Mrs Brown type voice! :o
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I've had a few in the past tell me they love me during sex. Like I get its part of the fantesy but always freaks me out x
I could forgive that as I once said it to a fuckbuddy myself in the throes of passion - I was mortified.
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Would you like a massage?
Yes please (gets on my front and awaits back rubbing)
Suddenly feels what appears to be a rainstorm of massage oil being slung about my whole bedroom whilst he says -
" I hope you don't mind getting this all over your bed sheets "
:FF :FF
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"Hay there, I notice your hour fee is £XYZ. If I divide that by 60 can I arrive, see how long I stay and pay by the minute? So if I stay for 12 minutes I pay £XYZ?"
Now let me see...
...no.
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Ms Millie ~
I literally just put my head in my hands when I read that.
And they honestly think there's nothing wrong with asking that *strangles*.
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I know right?! I've had some cheeky requests in the past but that one took the biscuit...
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I could forgive that as I once said it to a fuckbuddy myself in the throes of passion - I was mortified.
Oh lord how did you save that?! I just carry on with the moaning and sex noises with clients like that and pretend I didn't hear xxx
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Someone just called and asked if he could bring his crack pipe along for a half hour booking ???
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Right in the middle of the crappest spooning with the most awful looking overweight gentleman, he asks me how many children I have (also tried to guess) and how old they were because of my stretchmarked untoned stomach. I told him to get off and leave mid stroke. What a disrespectful creepy twerp.
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What do the neighbours think with all the men coming in and out?
I get this from time to time and I have my answer ready. I sometimes think men assume ALL wgs have men on the hour every hour all day every day. When I tell them it is not like that with me I watch their faces and see whether they think I am being honest or not.
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What do the neighbours think with all the men coming in and out?
I get this all the time. I’ve occasionally replied letting them know they’re the first this week (which they may well be) and they look at me like I have two heads.
I hate any questions regarding my incall premises. Nosy sods.
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‘Do you provide condoms?’ :FF
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Once in a while I am asked do I have children. I know not all wgs are mothers so the question is not specially bad but it depends who is asking what I answer. It could be just making conversation, who knows? My boobs or belly give no clue if I have produced offspring.
A couple of weeks back one new man said he assumed I am a mother and probably a grandmother. I said nothing to this but then he asked how many children I had given birth to. I said 8 and watched his face freeze. He told me there are always outward signs if a woman has had children and her fanny will be loose. Mine is anything but loose and I am late fifties. I then told him to always look at her feet too. He asked why and I just ignored him. When they start asking arsey stupid questions I lose all respect for them and don't give a toss about doing a good service. These times are rare though so it hasn't harmed my reputation.
(I have not had 8 children by the way)
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Once in a while I am asked do I have children. I know not all wgs are mothers so the question is not specially bad but it depends who is asking what I answer. It could be just making conversation, who knows? My boobs or belly give no clue if I have produced offspring.
A couple of weeks back one new man said he assumed I am a mother and probably a grandmother. I said nothing to this but then he asked how many children I had given birth to. I said 8 and watched his face freeze. He told me there are always outward signs if a woman has had children and her fanny will be loose. Mine is anything but loose and I am late fifties. I then told him to always look at her feet too. He asked why and I just ignored him. When they start asking arsey stupid questions I lose all respect for them and don't give a toss about doing a good service. These times are rare though so it hasn't harmed my reputation.
(I have not had 8 children by the way)
I don’t have a problem at all if they want to ask if I’ve had children. It was the fact it was mid sex and he had his hand on my tummy and looked down at it whilst asking how many kids I had haha.
Yes you can see I’ve had kids, or potentially lost weight quick, but it’s never been an issue in the many years I’ve worked. (Maybe a few backhanded comments but never so blatent) I’m a size 10 as advertised, go to the gym every 2 or three days, but also state on profile I’m not toned with washboard abs. I’m certainly not loose from what I have been told so I guess some people are just damn rude or ignorant or get off on putting others down.
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I once had a bloke ask if I had children while he was going down on me?!?I couldn't even guess what might have prompted that question!He never entered me so it couldn't be because he thought I was 'loose or 'tight''.
Another one commented on my stretch marks and told me I must have had several kids.It turned out these stretch marks were actually crease marks from the corset thingy he had requested I wear.Stupid man!I've never had kids anyway!
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“” if I had tits, I would not want them to look like yours...””
Okay buddy, okay..
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“” if I had tits, I would not want them to look like yours...””
Okay buddy, okay..
Are you really saying a client said that to you!!??
How did you reply?
My answer would have been if I had a face like yours I would not step out of my home.
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Are you really saying a client said that to you!!??
How did you reply?
My answer would have been if I had a face like yours I would not step out of my home.
Yup. First thing this morning and it’s been on my mind ever since so I thought I’d share.
I sort of just half smiled and raised my eyebrows and left it to hang in the air for a bit while he went to town on those breasts he so obviously didn’t like the look of ... odd man.
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Phonecall;
Client: Can I ask how old you are?
Me: I'm 51
Client: Oh sorry that's too old....then hangs up.
Phone rings straight back.....
Client: Actually can I see you I would like to try it with a 51 year old.
Me: No chance....bye and hung up.
What a cheek!!!
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Phonecall;
Client: Can I ask how old you are?
Me: I'm 51
Client: Oh sorry that's too old....then hangs up.
Phone rings straight back.....
Client: Actually can I see you I would like to try it with a 51 year old.
Me: No chance....bye and hung up.
What a cheek!!!
You are too nice. By the time he hangs up I have blocked and saved as Cunt. So there would not have been a moment for chance of him speaking to second time round.
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You are too nice. By the time he hangs up I have blocked and saved as Cunt. So there would not have been a moment for chance of him speaking to second time round.
Ha ha......he was too quick, he literally redialled instantly.....he is logged on my phone now though as c***! Lol
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Ha ha......he was too quick, he literally redialled instantly.....he is logged on my phone now though as c***! Lol
My fingers are so fast - hang up - block - thank goodness for true caller to have the block thingy sign. As they are trying to call and failing to get through - that is when I am saving it as C...t hahah x
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Last week As I was Kissing my client goodbye he smiled and told me, "Thanks for 10 minutes of heaven." Funny thing was it was a one hour in call But he had finished so fast.
-
Looks like I've got myself a boyfriend ;D
By AW mail
" U alright love how’s work going can I be ur long term boyfriend pls thanks let me know I like ur pics xx "
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Looks like I've got myself a boyfriend ;D
By AW mail
" U alright love how’s work going can I be ur long term boyfriend pls thanks let me know I like ur pics xx "
Lol I hope he didn't send it to anyone else, you wouldn't want him being unfaithful! :D
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Lol I hope he didn't send it to anyone else, you wouldn't want him being unfaithful! :D
It could be the same 'Kevin' "Tony' "Peter' (he uses a different name with each set of texts every few months) whose been texting me since early 2017 telling me he wants us to be long term lovers when we meet, and for me to 'care about him' ::)
-
Text message this morning (he caught me in a good mood)...
Him; Damn I've just seen your pics on this adult site. You look better than most 25 year olds let alone 45! Unless the pics are photoshopped!
Me; Thankyou. 100% real pics idont even no how to photoshop. I font believe in it, theres no point making yourself look like something your not. And I'm actually 51!
Him; You're welcome. And your not 51. Not a chance.
Me; I was born in 1968.
Him; Oh that's good feed me some more lies lol
Me; damn caught me out....I am actually a 21 year old size zero supermodel who likes to pretend she is a size 12 51 year old woman.......
Him; Ha bloody ha you cheeky mate lol
Did make me laugh lol
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Seen this client once or twice before. Only ever engaged in general chit chat. Today he asked if he could take me out this weekend he said "I like to help people - see. Get you out of these four walls for a change". Me -"Thank you - but WTf do you know about me or my life? I've got plenty to do this weekend thanks. Him -"What you have friends? You go out? " Twat
-
Seen this client once or twice before. Only ever engaged in general chit chat. Today he asked if he could take me out this weekend he said "I like to help people - see. Get you out of these four walls for a change". Me -"Thank you - but WTf do you know about me or my life? I've got plenty to do this weekend thanks. Him -"What you have friends? You go out? " Twat
Pussywillow ~ How insulting😡.
There are ads I see here stateside that the obvious independents are advertising:
"Open 24/7/365!" Call anytime! Always up, always ready, always around!"
When the hell do you grocery shop?🤷🏼♀️ Get to the Dr? Fricking SLEEP? Must be some good uppers you're taking there, chickie. Smh.
-
“Juss out a interst don’t u think your too young too do wat your doin ?” :-* :-*
Complement taken thanks x
-
Is “ clients “ (using the term loosely since no bookings was carried out)
Lying about their age (significantly) something to report ?
Said he was ‘only 23’ when he’s at least 10years older.
.
This came about when he messaged “looking for a new teen call out. M*** x”
To which I replied did he want a 13 year old ? (New teen...)
He said : no I’m after a teen that’s new to your agency.
(I’m not and never have been an agency FYI) which I told him.
He then said I’m new I’m only 23 sorry.
(His WhatsApp pic is of someone probably 40s my guess ) lmfao.
Asked where he’d seen my number to which he replied : never mind. Good night.
(Clearly something I said wasn’t going to plan for him ).
.
If not something to report at least enjoy the hilarity. Not sure what lying about his age was going to get him in his mind ??? Any guesses. Xx
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I got all dressed up for a client. Low cut top, mini skirt, stockings and heels.
He turns up, looks at me and asks "do you have something nice to wear?"
??? :FF
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I got all dressed up for a client. Low cut top, mini skirt, stockings and heels.
He turns up, looks at me and asks "do you have something nice to wear?"
??? :FF
I would have said yes, my birthday suit :D
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When they ask 'Is this all you do?' or 'Do you work?'.
What do they think this is then?!
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When they ask 'Is this all you do?' or 'Do you work?'.
What do they think this is then?!
I had this yesterday. He was shocked when I explained that this infact, was my job and I wasn’t just charging him for the shits and giggles. Perhaps it bursts their bubbles to think we make our living this way and aren’t actually gagging for cock and a bit of pocket money on top.
-
.
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"Do you think dogs think in English?"
I just... what? I can't even... why?
-
"Do you think dogs think in English?"
I just... what? I can't even... why?
I see you had a philosopher ;D
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Him. Hi, you reallyThai?
Me, Yes.
Him. I will know if you are lying.
Me. How?
Him. Because your pussy slit is other way.
WTF ????????????
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Him. Hi, you reallyThai?
Me, Yes.
Him. I will know if you are lying.
Me. How?
Him. Because your pussy slit is other way.
WTF ????????????
That’s absolutely disgusting and racist bullshit. Wow.
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“I’m similar to you “
Me : how so.
“I get paid cash, that I don’t disclose”
Me : I pay my tax. Only lowlifes don’t. Don’t assume such bullshit about me.
“You swallow cum for money, don’t get noble whore “
Brilliant way to carry on my evening ... what a fucking day.
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“I’m similar to you “
Me : how so.
“I get paid cash, that I don’t disclose”
Me : I pay my tax. Only lowlifes don’t. Don’t assume such bullshit about me.
“You swallow cum for money, don’t get noble whore “
Brilliant way to carry on my evening ... what a fucking day.
"Bitch please. You're contacting ME, & I never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."
*drops mic 🎤* annnnd you have just cut his balls OFF!!!😁
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"Bitch please. You're contacting ME, & I never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."
*drops mic 🎤* annnnd you have just cut his balls OFF!!!😁
And I don’t even swallow ... fucking fed up.
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And I don’t even swallow ... fucking fed up.
Sorry Eve....I was just trying to be funny😕
Here ~ 🌼💐🌺instead, k?
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Sorry Eve....I was just trying to be funny😕
Here ~ 🌼💐🌺instead, k?
NO trust me I giggled !! You’re a bringer*** of joy ;) Xxx
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"Bitch please. You're contacting ME, & I never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."
Ya ha ha!!
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“My hobby is escapologist, I’m an escape artist. Would you tie me up? “
This out of the blue after many questions regarding my outcall process / preferences / service inclusions, etc.
Random. Huh.
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“My hobby is escapologist, I’m an escape artist. Would you tie me up? “
This out of the blue after many questions regarding my outcall process / preferences / service inclusions, etc.
Random. Huh.
Ok Houdini. Calm down🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️. That's a pretty good 1 tho!
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Ok Houdini. Calm down🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️. That's a pretty good 1 tho!
Well after the interrogation he certainly managed to escape from any chance of a booking with me. Lmfao. ;D
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Eve ~ *snorts*
Escaped a chance of booking ...
Haw haw haw!! *gasps & wheezes, pig like*
Buncha stand up comics we are.
Haw haw!!!
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Eve ~ *snorts*
Escaped a chance of booking ...
Haw haw haw!! *gasps & wheezes, pig like*
Buncha stand up comics we are.
Haw haw!!!
If a career on my back doesn’t take off maybe I could try stand up. ;). (See what I did there .. eh eh ). Xx
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It was all going quite well, today's booking. Fourth time visit to me and while he is not the most polite man there was nothing too concerning until he came out with this today when I am fucking my wife I am thinking of you
>:( I am not stupid and aware that some men may think of their latest sp visit when in bed with the wife but there is just no need to tell me!!!!! He is now on a thin thread but he doesn't know it.
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Horrible. I had an unpleasant client tell me (so casually too) that I was much tighter than his wife and she was very loose! Oh, he was inside me at the time too.
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When , as you're giving them a bj , they say "I've had a wank just before coming here so I'd last longer" :-\
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Had a client last week that I had seen four times previously. We were talking about glasses and I mentioned losing mine, his reply was ‘so if I raped you, you wouldn’t know who I was?’ :FF
Reported him mind as he also mentioned rape to a friend of mine. Weird fucker
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I saw one of my regular clients recently, never had a problem with him before, he books 30 minutes (normally 15 as he doesn’t last long at all) so we chat a little but then do what he was with me for, he then started to feel sick (admitted he had just eaten a kfc before coming to me) he vomited in my hotel bathroom for a good 20 minutes then came back into me but was clear he was in a bad way so I let him stay, whilst talking he started to tell me how I was so nice and I shouldn’t let anyone take advantage of me, I need to be more strict etc. Talked like this for ages while on and off running the bathroom to be sick. All in all he stayed an hour and 15 minutes when he felt well enough to leave he admits he only has £50.00 on him :FF so not only did he not have enough to pay for the hour he didn’t even bring the full £70.00 to pay for the half hour! All the time he was telling me not to let clients take advantage he knew he was going to underpay me. Safe to say he got blocked after that.
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Had one who'd asked for owo reckon feet are dirtier than a cock that's never been tested for STD's. Jackass.
Older gent in his 70's "you didn't tell me to wash my hands with hot or cold water". No submissive vibes at all from him, so was taken aback & I think I actually said WTF.
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Had a client yesterday who said he'd do me a deal- he'd turn up in women's underwear next time if I told him my real name ::) Truly an offer I can't refuse ;D.
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Had a client yesterday who said he'd do me a deal- he'd turn up in women's underwear next time if I told him my real name ::) Truly an offer I can't refuse ;D.
What IS this fascination with our real name? IDGI. In the urban fantasies I read, supposedly demons are very protective of their names, bc if you find out what it is, you can control them, make them do your bidding, send them back to the underworld, whatever. There's a parallel in here I'm sure😆😆.
I've gotten to the point where I just tell them, "Ok. It's Hortense." or something else off the wall (no offense meant to any Hortenses here naturally!).
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What IS this fascination with our real name? IDGI. In the urban fantasies I read, supposedly demons are very protective of their names, bc if you find out what it is, you can control them, make them do your bidding, send them back to the underworld, whatever. There's a parallel in here I'm sure😆😆.
I've gotten to the point where I just tell them, "Ok. It's Hortense." or something else off the wall (no offense meant to any Hortenses here naturally!).
I also have a “real name” I give up when really pressured by overbearing clients.
Usually something from whatever I’m watching on Netflix at the time. Lol
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I tell them it's Imelda and show them a pic I have on my phone of my 👠
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I tell them it's Imelda and show them a pic I have on my phone of my 👠
;D
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"You're so wonderful, I could just kidnap you".
Please don't ::)
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"You're so wonderful, I could just kidnap you".
Please don't ::)
And this is what passes for "sexy, appealing talk."🤦🏼♀️
Gah!!!
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What IS this fascination with our real name? IDGI. In the urban fantasies I read, supposedly demons are very protective of their names, bc if you find out what it is, you can control them, make them do your bidding, send them back to the underworld, whatever. There's a parallel in here I'm sure😆😆.
I've gotten to the point where I just tell them, "Ok. It's Hortense." or something else off the wall (no offense meant to any Hortenses here naturally!).
Brilliant! Yes I agree about the controlling thing.
I sometimes burst into "a song for whoever" by the beautiful south. Usually shuts them down. Especially with my tone deaf voice. ;D
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So I've decided on Euphegenia Doubtfire (RIP Robin Williams) or Vicky Vale (from the original Batman movie with Michael Keaton, 1989. Kim Basinger played Vicky Vale, Prince did the music).
Let's see what clients pick up on either of them *rubs hands together & cackles*.
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Oh Dear
I had a client who told me if he found out I had a boyfriend he would not see me again. He saw me every two weeks for four or five hours. and he never left on time.
One day he said to me if his wife died he would be asking me out and he thought I would accept.. of course he would not be paying me any more and we would not live together, just see each other casually.
I never encouraged him or said anything to make him think that way but five hours of someone's company is a long time..............
One day I arranged to see someone else after he had gone so I told him I had to leave after our appointment and go home. When the time was up I had to tell him I was kicking him out and that was fine.
As he got dressed I cleaned the table of our drinks, and took the glasses into the kitchen and then I told him I would have to shower and he left.
When I got home there was an email waiting for me from him accusing me of seeing someone else !
One guy on an outcall asked me if I had children to which I said 'yes'. He asked me if they were in care.
Another guy I saw regularly and thought we got on well, talked about his sister's son who was going to university. I mentioned that my son was also at Uni and he looked shocked. I had been seeing him for about two years every second Thursday for two hours. The visits stopped after that.
Could it have been that he couldn't get over a prostitute as an equal? Now that is another subject entirely
Sometimes you just gotta bite your tongue !
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Oh Dear
I had a client who told me if he found out I had a boyfriend he would not see me again. He saw me every two weeks for four or five hours. and he never left on time.
One day he said to me if his wife died he would be asking me out and he thought I would accept.. of course he would not be paying me any more and we would not live together, just see each other casually.
I never encouraged him or said anything to make him think that way but five hours of someone's company is a long time..............
One day I arranged to see someone else after he had gone so I told him I had to leave after our appointment and go home. When the time was up I had to tell him I was kicking him out and that was fine.
As he got dressed I cleaned the table of our drinks, and took the glasses into the kitchen and then I told him I would have to shower and he left.
When I got home there was an email waiting for me from him accusing me of seeing someone else !
One guy on an outcall asked me if I had children to which I said 'yes'. He asked me if they were in care.
Another guy I saw regularly and thought we got on well, talked about his sister's son who was going to university. I mentioned that my son was also at Uni and he looked shocked. I had been seeing him for about two years every second Thursday for two hours. The visits stopped after that.
Could it have been that he couldn't get over a prostitute as an equal? Now that is another subject entirely
Sometimes you just gotta bite your tongue !
Maybe it’s because you seen him for 2 years before he found out you had a son? I cannot believe the one that said he’d never see you again if you had a boyfriend, my god they are so deluded, it’s funny because they’re not deluded about everything, just sex workers, surely when you seek an escort out then you must know that the money is the incentive for her to sleep with a stranger?! How could you NOT know?!
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One guy on an outcall asked me if I had children to which I said 'yes'. He asked me if they were in care.
:o :FF
The mind boggles
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The British slang on here still confounds me sometimes, I'm assuming "in care" means "they're at a babysitters.", yes? Sorry if I sound dumb.
My reply would've been, "No, I give them $5 each & tell them to go play in the traffic. Mind the stranger danger, now!"😆
And as always, such a goddamn invasive ??. *scowls*
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Hi Celeste yes it sounds like childcare doesn't it, it means in-care of the government eg removed from house because parents are unsuitable.
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The British slang on here still confounds me sometimes, I'm assuming "in care" means "they're at a babysitters.", yes? Sorry if I sound dumb.
My reply would've been, "No, I give them $5 each & tell them to go play in the traffic. Mind the stranger danger, now!"😆
And as always, such a goddamn invasive ??. *scowls*
Hey Celest in-care is the same version in America of being put in the system I only know this as I watch too many true movies. Taken off you and then never seeing them again.
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Ahh. Well, very different then🤦🏼♀️! Thank you Salty & Dynamite!
Yes, bc we're completely incapable of doing anything like raising children in a steady & positive environment, clearly🙄😡.
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Yeh -I've had clients that seem under the illlusion that they're in some sort of a relationship with me. Only last week I mentioned to a reg that i was off to my book club that night. He turned round and said "I even get jealous -at the thought of you going there- there might be other men going" :o
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Yeh -I've had clients that seem under the illlusion that they're in some sort of a relationship with me. Only last week I mentioned to a reg that i was off to my book club that night. He turned round and said "I even get jealous -at the thought of you going there- there might be other men going" :o
The jealousy thing would be a red flag from a partner and so it’s even more worrying that it’s from a punter, can’t you stop seeing him?
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Got a young client who has seen the grand total of about 6 or 7 escorts.
Firstly tells me I should charge more, that what I charge is 'below the average' and when questions, 'no trust me it's below average' (£170ph LOL not below average! What even is average?!)
Then when mentioning another girl he has seen..'she's much more high class than you of course'
Bless.
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...'she's much more high class than you of course'
Bless.
TRANSLATION: "She's much more EXPENSIVE than you, of course." ;D
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From a ex-regular
" you are too pretty and intelligent for this, why don't you get a real job?"
:FF
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I am from a country outside the UK and a lot of people book because they like my accent. At the end of a booking, client says 'Look, I gotta be honest, I booked because of the accent and it wasn't as strong as I would've liked... can I get half my money back?"
I was like mate this is the exact same voice I spoke to you on the phone with, if it wasn't strong enough you should've said it back then...
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I am from a country outside the UK and a lot of people book because they like my accent. At the end of a booking, client says 'Look, I gotta be honest, I booked because of the accent and it wasn't as strong as I would've liked... can I get half my money back?"
I was like mate this is the exact same voice I spoke to you on the phone with, if it wasn't strong enough you should've said it back then...
He booked you just to hear you talk, yeah right ..lol ::)
Hope you didn't give any money back
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I finally got the classic, "When I'm fucking my girlfriend I'm thinking about YOU." line.
I'm so rarely at a loss for words, but I was with this. I wasn't ~ surprisingly ~ angry or anything, I just did not know how to respond. "Thank you"? "Glad to hear"? "Sucks to be you"? Lolol. I just stood there for a minute & then said rather unconvincingly, "That's....hot."
I'm giggling as I type this bc I think he expected me to be, I dunno, grateful? It was weird.
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I was sent an email the other day where the guy asked did I get checked regularly did I do the job for fun and how many did I see in a week.
Apparently he was new and had a lot of questions.
Pity the questions are annoying.
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Do you have a deposit protection scheme in place to protect me from being scammed by filthy whores who do that?
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Can I see picture of your cock ::) the f ?
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I don't show my face when advertising and a guy said I sound different. I did tell him that I had to be quiet while answering the front door. I spoke with a lower tone walking through the hallway. He said I sound different to when he talked to me over the phone. I said to him polity what would you like to do now. (Waiting for his response) He decided to leave. I was like okay. Bye.
He phoned me a few minutes later, asking if it is me. I said yes, lovely. He said bye.
I know escorting isn't plain sailing 100% of the time. I will be patient.
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“I’m similar to you “
Me : how so.
“I get paid cash, that I don’t disclose”
Me : I pay my tax. Only lowlifes don’t. Don’t assume such bullshit about me.
“You swallow cum for money, don’t get noble whore “
Brilliant way to carry on my evening ... what a fucking day.
omg. :-X
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Client I saw first 4 weeks ago then again a week or so later. He booked online and knows fees.
Got a text this afternoon can he see me at 6pm? I replied yes then he asked how much? I told (reminded) him.
His response, Aww I thought it was (20 less than my fee)
I replied no so we better not go ahead. He asked why and when I said I can not offer less than full rate after just 2 meetings,
no response. He is now banned of course.
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Client I saw first 4 weeks ago then again a week or so later. He booked online and knows fees.
Got a text this afternoon can he see me at 6pm? I replied yes then he asked how much? I told (reminded) him.
His response, Aww I thought it was (20 less than my fee)
I replied no so we better not go ahead. He asked why and when I said I can not offer less than full rate after just 2 meetings,
no response. He is now banned of course.
How does 2 meetings make you a regular? *rants* It's like the guy who asked me the 2nd time he called if I offered bareback for returning clients (him, of course). I wasn't quick enough (dammit) to say, "It's open for discussion!" & then when he got to me, say yes, the discussion is that I don't do that (after I got his donation, heh heh).
Next time, baby!
But yeah, Justine, WTAF.
"Sure, I'll offer BB/a discount/buy you a pony when I've seen you every single week continuously, for 6 months/1 year/3 years."
THAT'S a damned regular.
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2 gems yesterday.
One I'd not seen for a couple of months;
Me. How did you get on with your garden project since we last met?
Him: What? That's poor customer relations, you are confusing me with someone else.
me. I remember you said you were on the way to the garden centre to buy something for a pond.
him: Oh yes that's right.
::)
Other one I'd not met had a total attack of verbal crap;
Me: Do you want a quick back rub? so I get on with that then ask him to roll over.
Him; Shall I sit up & beg?
Me: Pardon?
Him: you know like a puppy?
Me: Are you into puppy play?
him: Whats that? I explain No I do it with my daughter.
me; OK, I'm not sure where this is going
him: No I'm just talking about messing around with my 3 year old. It's OK don't look worried.
Me: I joke about edging him towards to door
He calms down a little bit but mentions 3 times he's paying me & I should be thankful, especially on the way out after he's thanked me. Saying
Him;"Are you the client? No I'm the client, what are you?"
Me; I'm a sex worker.
Him: "oh that sounds vulgar. You're a service provider. "
Me: "Yes that aswell. Bye."
And silly season has ensued. :-\
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Oh god I just read the above. How did you not give him a black eye and twisted testicles?! What a fool of a man.
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By text yesterday after making an appointment for a hour (for today )
" How much for 1.5 hour , I'm thinking £150 and spending extra time focusing on your pleasure ? " :FF :FF :FF
After informing him that my fee is £180 he opted to leave it at a hour .
He then texted late at night suggesting negotiating my 1 1/2 hour fee as he really wanted an extended "liaison" .
I cancelled first thing this morning and he's been calling and texting ever since ...
I'll add that I've met him once a couple of month ago , no issues but not someone I was eagerly looking forward to meet again ( bar for the pennies ) , in his 60's which reinforce the idea that older guys can sometime feel entitled ....
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By text yesterday after making an appointment for a hour (for today )
" How much for 1.5 hour , I'm thinking £150 and spending extra time focusing on your pleasure ? " :FF :FF :FF
After informing him that my fee is £180 he opted to leave it at a hour .
He then texted late at night suggesting negotiating my 1 1/2 hour fee as he really wanted an extended "liaison" .
I cancelled first thing this morning and he's been calling and texting ever since ...
I'll add that I've met him once a couple of month ago , no issues but not someone I was eagerly looking forward to meet again ( bar for the pennies ) , in his 60's which reinforce the idea that older guys can sometime feel entitled ....
Had the same damn thing last year, but he saw me for 2 hours (which is $450, relevant). During the session I'd decided I wasn't going to see him again, but then he asks about an ongoing arrangement for twice monthly & could it be arranged.
Well hmm. I said perhaps, what'd you have in mind?
"$150." He says.
I blink. For...2 hours? I reply? (jaw agape) You expect me to spend to spend 2 hours with you for less than I charge for 30 minutes? Can you tell me why you think I'd do that?
"I'm on social security!" Very indignant.
And I'm funding my retirement, I answered. I'm unable to accommodate that request, sir....😡🔨😡🔨
He wasn't embarrassed when he asked, he wasn't embarrassed at my snarled answer.....
Douche monkey.
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September 2019.
“Hello. Am 55. Hope ok. Is OWO and oral on u included in price plz”.
December 2019.
“Hi. Am 53 hope this ok. Are oral on u and OWO included with price thanks”.
Anyone spot the miracle in these ?? (From the same person...)
(Hint: don’t worry folks I’ve asked him for his secret ! Eternal youth is coming for us all!) x
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September 2019.
“Hello. Am 55. Hope ok. Is OWO and oral on u included in price plz”.
December 2019.
“Hi. Am 53 hope this ok. Are oral on u and OWO included with price thanks”.
Anyone spot the miracle in these ?? (From the same person...)
(Hint: don’t worry folks I’ve asked him for his secret ! Eternal youth is coming for us all!) x
LMMFAO.
He's watched Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade one too many times😆😆.
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Him. Hi, you reallyThai?
Me, Yes.
Him. I will know if you are lying.
Me. How?
Him. Because your pussy slit is other way.
WTF ????????????
what a prick >:(
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what a prick >:(
I know but luckily it is rare to have comments like this. Most guys seem to have a thing about Thai girls and are really respectful.
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I know but luckily it is rare to have comments like this. Most guys seem to have a thing about Thai girls and are really respectful.
I've heard this, not going to say what's it called bc I think it's so awful, but I'm sure we've all heard it🙄.
I'm assuming it's similar to what I get as a redhead; SO many times I've gotten a booking strictly based on that.
Fine by me, but I haven't seen my natural hair color since 1989; there's no telling what's under here🤷🏼♀️. Could be red, grey, who the fuck knows.
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I've recently had to explain to a man what a coil is and he flatly refused to believe me they exist. He's in his 50s :o
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I've recently had to explain to a man what a coil is and he flatly refused to believe me they exist. He's in his 50s :o
He most likely does know, but for some reason known only to him, thinks its a good idea to be Obstreperous ::)
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You are here (on a certain website) to be fucked, now take my thousands of pounds and shut up!
I kindly thanked him for pointing out I earn thousands to be fucked and blocked the bastard! Cheers mate.
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You are here (on a certain website) to be fucked, now take my thousands of pounds and shut up!
I kindly thanked him for pointing out I earn thousands to be fucked and blocked the bastard! Cheers mate.
That is so bad it is good! Hilarious. I had one once on the phone who had the most awful attitude and approach so I said sorry I didn't think we would get along very well. He seemed amazed and asked "so do you want my business or not?!"
I of course declined.
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That's kinda similar to a semi reg who I got annoyed with and told him, 'you'd better go' and he said, 'Me! Leave!...Preposterous!' half to himself.
He was the kind of supremely confident, self assured, English toff who won't accept an insult. So I gave up and let him stay. ???
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That's kinda similar to a semi reg who I got annoyed with and told him, 'you'd better go' and he said, 'Me! Leave!...Preposterous!' half to himself.
He was the kind of totally confident, self assured, English toff who won't accept an insult. So I gave up and let him stay. ???
I would have loved to kick his arse out. I had a young good looking one once who had walked to my incall place after playing football. Tried to decline a shower to which I obviously insisted. He was very good looking, had a fantastic body with a massive cock and knew it, he stood in the shower rubbing his cock saying look how big it is, I bet you cant handle it...
I replied.. Yes you are right its too much for me to handle so be a good little boy, get out of the shower, get dressed, take your money and go home....
He was totally shocked lol
I hate cocky bastards
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him:"I think I've got this industry sussed out. You ladies don't pay tax do you. Saw an eldery lady recently who wanted to pay 10k cash for a car. I told she'd get arrested"
me: Eldery? How old is she?
him: late 40's. Women in the this business should not be doing it over 45 into their 50's."
me: I pay tax & I'd never say a 45 year old is elderly so that's a strange thing to say. How old are you then?
him: really, what do you put down as your job? guessing game ensues I'm over 45.
Had the nerve to ask for a cup of tea when we'd already gone over by 10 minutes. Like I'd want to chat to him any longer ::) ageist weirdo.
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Very recently
Him You must hate men
Me (trying to think of what to say but he then said)
Him Do you think men like me are sad and pathetic?
There then followed my very best attempt at making nice conversation and answering his questions using every ounce of my tact to make him feel less depressed than he already was.
It all happened after he appeared perfectly happy and comfortable with the booking.
??? :-\
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"You're a lot bigger in real life, that is a relief, I thought you were on something"
:FF :FF :FF :FF :FF ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Very recently
Him You must hate men
Me (trying to think of what to say but he then said)
Him Do you think men like me are sad and pathetic?
There then followed my very best attempt at making nice conversation and answering his questions using every ounce of my tact to make him feel less depressed than he already was.
It all happened after he appeared perfectly happy and comfortable with the booking.
??? :-\
Cringe! You get all sorts.
Had a similar encounter with client who asks:
'Do you think your clients are all losers?'
I just laughed it off
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Client
'I'm going to take you bareback'
Me - 'Sorry I don't offer that'
Client - Gets huffy 'Don't worry I don't want to do that with you anyway'
Trying to imply that I am dirty ;D
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Client
'I'm going to take you bareback'
Me - 'Sorry I don't offer that'
Client - Gets huffy 'Don't worry I don't want to do that with you anyway'
Trying to imply that I am dirty ;D
Meanwhile, back at the ranch as this hypothetically happens to me:
Client: "I'm going to take you bareback."
Me: "I'm going to take the knife I have hidden close by & stab you, should you attempt that. And bc you don't know me, you have no idea if I'm joking or not. Care to test that theory?"
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New client rings me
Him -" I've never done this before -I'm worried about safety"
Me -"Okay - in what way?"
Him - "Do you use decent condoms? -Do they break?"
Me -"Well I like to think use decent ones- I can't promise it won't happen - but in my experience thankfully its pretty rare"
Him-"Don't you get a feeling when they are going to break?"
Me "Eh no - don't you think I'd change the thing if I did?"
Him - What they don't have an early warning system? I think I'll leave it"
Condoms that beep? What a great idea ::) ;D
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New client rings me
Him -" I've never done this before -I'm worried about safety"
Me -"Okay - in what way?"
Him - "Do you use decent condoms? -Do they break?"
Me -"Well I like to think use decent ones- I can't promise it won't happen - but in my experience thankfully its pretty rare"
Him-"Don't you get a feeling when they are going to break?"
Me "Eh no - don't you think I'd change the thing if I did?"
Him - What they don't have an early warning system? I think I'll leave it"
Condoms that beep? What a great idea ::) ;D
What a strange man ???
A few clients of mine bring their own condoms because they were of 'better quality,' implying that my Durex ones were not.
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Philippa I don’t trust clients to bring their own condoms, who knows what they could have done to them!
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New client rings me
Him -" I've never done this before -I'm worried about safety"
Me -"Okay - in what way?"
Him - "Do you use decent condoms? -Do they break?"
Me -"Well I like to think use decent ones- I can't promise it won't happen - but in my experience thankfully its pretty rare"
Him-"Don't you get a feeling when they are going to break?"
Me "Eh no - don't you think I'd change the thing if I did?"
Him - What they don't have an early warning system? I think I'll leave it"
Condoms that beep? What a great idea ::) ;D
🚨 🚨🚨
NASA is alerted. The Bat 🦇signal is lit. The polar ice caps are obliterated by *blah blah important sounding military stuff*. His wife gets a text. His job gets an email.
But you, PussyWillow. You....get a feeeeeeling.😁😁😁
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Got one late last night
Client are you taking bookings
I answered yes can I come with a friend
Me no I see one at a time I don’t do gang bangs
Client no my Mrs wants to watch me with another woman
Me it will cost you double the price
Client oh sorry I thought it’s only one payment
Me I know it’s January things are hard but there is no search thing as two for one in this business
Client oh ok prat
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This lovely statement cropped up again yesterday.
"I am always so worried about catching something so I rarely see any escorts"
It was going well until then, I had to put my acting skills to the test once more as what I wanted to say was "why the hell are you here then!" but I know it would have killed the booking.
::)
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This lovely statement cropped up again yesterday.
"I am always so worried about catching something so I rarely see any escorts"
It was going well until then, I had to put my acting skills to the test once more as what I wanted to say was "why the hell are you here then!" but I know it would have killed the booking.
::)
Your a better woman than me with this because I wouldn’t have cared about ruining the booking and I would bite back but that’s just me! If I allow these things to fester without saying anything then my MH goes way down...
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Your a better woman than me with this because I wouldn’t have cared about ruining the booking and I would bite back but that’s just me! If I allow these things to fester without saying anything then my MH goes way down...
Thank you Tantric! My exact response to him would've been, "Perhaps you should consider taking up quilting. Quilting's a nice, safe hobby."
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time...🙄
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Thank you Tantric! My exact response to him would've been, "Perhaps you should consider taking up quilting. Quilting's a nice, safe hobby."
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time...🙄
Exactly and if you acted like this in a shop or other business then you would get thrown out so it shouldn’t be any different for us, personally I cannot go ahead with a booking if they put me down, it’s degrading for me to have to go through with it, I think years of working in parlours and agencies and getting shit like this said to me makes me not put up with it now I’m my own boss.
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Philippa I don’t trust clients to bring their own condoms, who knows what they could have done to them!
Yes it's very trusting of me, I don't recommend this to anyone reading!
One of the clients use a custom condom website to order his condoms, his words 'other condoms don't fit me at all. I have an unusual shaped cock.' I can vouch for the fact that he is unusually shaped.
Another client insists on his luxury Lelo Hex condoms. He also brings his own expensive lube and toys because he can't stand the 'nasty cheap stuff' girls use. Taking his condoms and toys out of the sleek packaging is the highlight of his booking.
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Thank you Tantric! My exact response to him would've been, "Perhaps you should consider taking up quilting. Quilting's a nice, safe hobby."
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time...🙄
Ha ha that's funny
I usually say to these types. " oh yes me too. I hope you haven't had any nasty bugs in the last 10 days & have been down the clap clinic in the last 6 months".
Guy last week asked me to say he was "a real Casanova" in his feedback. He also said women who are over 45 are elderly ??? & shouldn't be in sex work. A real C**t more like, alas I didn't say that in the feedback although he was trying for boundary pushing at the start & the end asking for a cup of tea before he left.
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Wasn't sure if it went in the "how not to book" thread or here so throwing it here
"Hi,
You look and sound great!!! I'll be really forward. Want to use my flat for incalls? I'm a successful company director with a naughty side. Are you a partier? (cool with charlie??). Also WS and exploring a bit?
I am looking to have an adventure with someone "real" and openminded... who might also be interested in using my flat for doing incalls. Work from here. I have a nice place in *insert area*. I'm a gentleman and a professional. We would have fun.
If this sounds cool, text, Whats App or call and ill send some pics of the flat.
Thoughts?"
They left their name and contact number. This individual has an another alias which is an offering service profile of who's login times coincide with this profile that messaged me
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Wasn't sure if it went in the "how not to book" thread or here so throwing it here
"Hi,
You look and sound great!!! I'll be really forward. Want to use my flat for incalls? I'm a successful company director with a naughty side. Are you a partier? (cool with charlie??). Also WS and exploring a bit?
I am looking to have an adventure with someone "real" and openminded... who might also be interested in using my flat for doing incalls. Work from here. I have a nice place in *insert area*. I'm a gentleman and a professional. We would have fun.
If this sounds cool, text, Whats App or call and ill send some pics of the flat.
Thoughts?"
They left their name and contact number. This individual has an another alias which is an offering service profile of who's login times coincide with this profile that messaged me
So this ‘adventure’ he wants is a free shag I would assume for use of his flat, and if he is only letting you use his flat then why is it important that you take drugs?!
These fuckers are out in full force this week, I’ve had 2 texts during the week with one offering me ‘free’ photographs (free my arss) and one offering me ‘free’ tax services, again my nice wee arss it’s free, I texted both of them back and said that sexual services are only provided for cold hard cash and that I can’t pay rent and buy food from free things.
I also got a text from an unsaved number saying ‘I wish you were here’ yet when I texted back to ask who they were then they just ignored me, I can’t be bothered with silly games like this, the funny thing is is that I recognise the number yet it’s not saved...
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A couple of red flags kicking off in communication. I get this reply;
"Didn't mean to spook you sorry if I have. Take care, not sure if I shall look for another lady, thought you were perfect for my love I need to share".
CREEPY
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Phone call recently, married guy who saw me on his own but desperately wants a threesome "next time".
'Do you have a friend, preferably black'?
"I know a lady, I can ask her"
"What does she look like"?
"Well you can see her pictures and her rates on her profile"
"I don't want a professional"
"Ermmm, but that is what I am" ???
"Yes but you know, they are all business, they do it for the money, not like you, you do it for fun"
"No I bloody well DON'T!!!!!"
Seriously, did this Dude really think I would bring along a girlfriend to have sex with him? :FF
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"I don't want a professional"
"Ermmm, but that is what I am" ???
"Yes but you know, they are all business, they do it for the money, not like you, you do it for fun"
"No I bloody well DON'T!!!!!"
Seriously, did this Dude really think I would bring along a girlfriend to have sex with him? :FF
Haha, this is their fantasy; a professional who does it purely for fun
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The # of men I get who ask me, "Do you like doing this?" simply astounds me. I find it rude, intrusive & obnoxious, but I've finally hit on what I think is the nearly perfect answer.
"I don't think you can do this job without enjoying it."
Every single man has loved that reply, & it cracks me up bc I haven't answered their ??, & not 1 of them has yet to realize that. I only spoke in generalities, not for myself. I never said a word about what I liked, lol.
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Haha, this is their fantasy; a professional who does it purely for fun
That bloke lives in Lala land, every now and again he pops up and asks if I can host when he knows very well that I am outcall only. He honestly thinks I am a swinger who just asks for money when I fancy buying a posh handbag or something.
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The # of men I get who ask me, "Do you like doing this?" simply astounds me. I find it rude, intrusive & obnoxious, but I've finally hit on what I think is the nearly perfect answer.
"I don't think you can do this job without enjoying it."
Thats a good answer to shut them up! ;DHe honestly thinks I am a swinger who just asks for money when I fancy buying a posh handbag or something.
I'm so tempted to write, "I'm a free spirited swinger who does this for fun," on my profile that will fuel their fantasy :P
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Thats a good answer to shut them up! ;DI'm so tempted to write, "I'm a free spirited swinger who does this for fun," on my profile that will fuel their fantasy :P
Mwahahaha....yes it would.
My profile is full enough of sark though, they either don't get it or think it is hilarious. So I am definitely going to add something about my need for a posh handbag or a sports car or something.
(No, I can't drive and I don't care for designer bags, ain't nothing goin on but the rent....)
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Mwahahaha....yes it would.
My profile is full enough of sark though, they either don't get it or think it is hilarious. So I am definitely going to add something about my need for a posh handbag or a sports car or something.
(No, I can't drive and I don't care for designer bags, ain't nothing goin on but the rent....)
Hahaha! Got to have a J O B if you wanna be with me....
There's a blast from the past lol
*runs to YouTube*💃🕺
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I read that and watched the video. I honestly didn't know what the singer looked like. SO weird, I still know all the lyrics though. :angel:
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Smh. Early morning fuckery from a client.
Texting with him, he asks for a 1/2 hour, but wants me to drop down from X amount to Y amount.
Nope.
He hems & haws, finally agrees. I give him the hotel info etc etc. He then proceeds (unasked) to send me a face picture with the following:
"Great, will call when I get there per your instructions. Don't you think the Y rate is a better deal now after seeing my face?"
My answer: (you guys!!!! I'm trying SO HARD with my NY resolution to be a nicer Celeste!!! So hard! This kind of thing makes it impossible)
"I think Z (much higher) amount would be even better with a bag over your head."
Cos, you know, I'm in this just to meet good looking men🙄🙄🙄.
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He then proceeds (unasked) to send me a face picture with the following:
"Great, will call when I get there per your instructions. Don't you think the Y rate is a better deal now after seeing my face?"
My answer: (you guys!!!! I'm trying SO HARD with my NY resolution to be a nicer Celeste!!! So hard! This kind of thing makes it impossible)
"I think Z (much higher) amount would be even better with a bag over your head."
Cos, you know, I'm in this just to meet good looking men🙄🙄🙄.
Yeah, he got a reality check ;D Anytime a man mentions how good looking he is, huge red flag for me
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So I'm off AW this week and it's very clear on my profile that I'm not back till next Monday. I check my escort phone today and see this nonsense in my inbox ::)
"Hello kofi here I host adult events for a London ebony based crowd. I had a stripper cancel on me today. I am looking for someone to take her place.
This is a adult sex party in a secret location in east London. I will need you there from 11:30 to go on stage at 12:00 sharp. You will have to get FULLY NUDE and interact with my audience and my other female stripper.
The price is £100-£120 for a show that last less then 20 minutes but more then 15 minutes
After that you can leave or stay an join in the fun. You will not be allowed to charge any of my audience for dances or sexual acts. If you wish to do this I suggest you leave after your performance
If this is something you might be interested in please email me back as soon as possible"
I wonder if anyone else got a message from this delusional amoeba
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Sounds like a standard normal strip gig. I agree spam is annoying though. :)
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Message from a fantasist (with a dress fetish):
“Hi. I’ll be coming to London for the last week of February. I would love to see you for the week. There will be several business dinners and after dinner events. I need a well dressed woman on my arm. I assume that there is a fixed price? Because there will be several dinner parties followed by after dinner parties I will pay you £8000 for the week and a £2000 dress allowance so you can buy several dresses. One needs to be a floor length gown. Are you willing to go to an Embassy dinner in London? You really will look good on my arm. Will you pick out some dresses? We need to dress nicely for a few parties. And some outfits to go out. I’m looking forward to being alone with you.”
Today he updated me,
"I have some disappointing news. The deal I've been working on is in contractual limbo. I am very sorry because I was looking forward to the parties and seeing you in your dress. I would like to take you out to dinner one day if that is alright with you. I'm very sorry for all the time you put in dress shopping this week."
Oh darn it! I went shopping for gowns and dresses all for nothing! ;D hahaha.
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Yeah, he got a reality check ;D Anytime a man mentions how good looking he is, huge red flag for me
What do you do if within a booking a punter ask if you are really pleased to find he's 'young, good looking and well endowed' (his words)?
Has happened with someone without the 'young' or 'well endowed' - just 'What's it like to have a good looking punter?' whilst I was popping out the room for a second.
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'i'll let you know when i get one'... :)
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'i'll let you know when i get one'... :)
Brilliant ;D
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Message from a fantasist (with a dress fetish):
“Hi. I’ll be coming to London for the last week of February. I would love to see you for the week. There will be several business dinners and after dinner events. I need a well dressed woman on my arm. I assume that there is a fixed price? Because there will be several dinner parties followed by after dinner parties I will pay you £8000 for the week and a £2000 dress allowance so you can buy several dresses. One needs to be a floor length gown. Are you willing to go to an Embassy dinner in London? You really will look good on my arm. Will you pick out some dresses? We need to dress nicely for a few parties. And some outfits to go out. I’m looking forward to being alone with you.”
Today he updated me,
"I have some disappointing news. The deal I've been working on is in contractual limbo. I am very sorry because I was looking forward to the parties and seeing you in your dress. I would like to take you out to dinner one day if that is alright with you. I'm very sorry for all the time you put in dress shopping this week."
Oh darn it! I went shopping for gowns and dresses all for nothing! ;D hahaha.
Think he’s watched Pretty Woman too many times!
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What do you do if within a booking a punter ask if you are really pleased to find he's 'young, good looking and well endowed' (his words)?
Has happened with someone without the 'young' or 'well endowed' - just 'What's it like to have a good looking punter?' whilst I was popping out the room for a second.
What sort of response was he expecting?!
Seems a funny thing to say-I would start laughing
Maybe say, "yup sure am glad to meet a good lookin punter like you!" :o
When he says on the phone he is good looking and endowed that is usually pretext for a discount freebies or services I don't do.. I am pleased when they are good looking and don't act entitled
'i'll let you know when i get one'... :)
Great response haha
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Message from a fantasist (with a dress fetish):
“Hi. I’ll be coming to London for the last week of February. I would love to see you for the week. There will be several business dinners and after dinner events. I need a well dressed woman on my arm. I assume that there is a fixed price? Because there will be several dinner parties followed by after dinner parties I will pay you £8000 for the week and a £2000 dress allowance so you can buy several dresses. One needs to be a floor length gown. Are you willing to go to an Embassy dinner in London? You really will look good on my arm. Will you pick out some dresses? We need to dress nicely for a few parties. And some outfits to go out. I’m looking forward to being alone with you.”
Today he updated me,
"I have some disappointing news. The deal I've been working on is in contractual limbo. I am very sorry because I was looking forward to the parties and seeing you in your dress. I would like to take you out to dinner one day if that is alright with you. I'm very sorry for all the time you put in dress shopping this week."
Oh darn it! I went shopping for gowns and dresses all for nothing! ;D hahaha.
Sounds like the guy who contacted me, but he has honed his spiel a bit, a dress allowance wasn't a part of my payment.
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What sort of response was he expecting?!
Seems a funny thing to say-I would start laughing
Maybe say, "yup sure am glad to meet a good lookin punter like you!" :o
When he says on the phone he is good looking and endowed that is usually pretext for a discount freebies or services I don't do.. I am pleased when they are good looking and don't act entitled
Great response haha
I dunno, what's it like to be with a good looking escort?😂😂😂
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What do you do if within a booking a punter ask if you are really pleased to find he's 'young, good looking and well endowed' (his words)?
Has happened with someone without the 'young' or 'well endowed' - just 'What's it like to have a good looking punter?' whilst I was popping out the room for a second.
I have had this but not in actual booking, more on the phone. I just said " I prefer modest and less arrogant clients myself, anyway Mr Brad Pitt, I am sure if you are all of those things then you can get a booty call from Tinder can't you?" :)
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During dinner on an overnight booking:
"I love your confidence. I find it really attractive to see you approach in your glasses and jeans, like you really don't care what people think, you are happy in yourself" :-\
I have known this client for several years now, so I think it was a genuine compliment, but maybe I didn't get the dress code memo? 🤔
(he was in very similar attire)
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A dilemma over a tempting offer "Half massage fee for half hour pegging, young and stay hard but a bit broke".....
Ok never mind my 80 min round trip journey.
Yes I was a little clumsy at previous booking saying time was nearly up to cum and would have added on some complimentary minutes but would I get out of bed for this, really not sure
He is very sweet actually
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A dilemma over a tempting offer "Half massage fee for half hour pegging, young and stay hard but a bit broke".....
Ok never mind my 80 min round trip journey.
Yes I was a little clumsy at previous booking saying time was nearly up to cum and would have added on some complimentary minutes but would I get out of bed for this, really not sure
He is very sweet actually
It's the damn traveling that's killing me!😡 That's why I don't offer outcalls of any less than 90 minutes, bc these days it takes a *minimum* of 30 to just GET to them & 30 to get home. I haven't yet, but am seriously considering upping my uber charge to $100 (currently it's $50) to offset my time I spend just fucking sitting in the damn car.
"That's too much *moan whine*. I don't want to pay that much."
Then come to me, you bozo.
"I don't have a car."
Take Uber (you fool). That's how *I* would've gotten to *you*.
"Oh. I didn't think of that."
(Clearly.)
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A phone call from a prospective client:
Him: “I like my escorts to look classy, not dress like a hooker”
Me: “Sorry what did you say?”
Him - repeats what he said.
Me: “Sorry don’t think I can see you, I don’t like the implication”
Him: “What did I say I didn’t mean to offend you?”
Me - repeated what he said
Him: “No I said I don’t want you to wear rubber”
Me: “So sorry shall we start again! I don’t wear latex”
He turned up and was fine, we laughed about the bad phone line and misinterpretation!
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Happened last night.
Me, working my magic. "Let me know when you're ready for the condom."
Him:"You do Greek right?"
"Sure, there's an additional XYZ donation."
"Is the Greek covered or bareback?"
completely flabbergasted
"Me: Why wouldn't we use a condom?"
Him: "You know, I really don't have an answer for that."
Me: "Why wouldn't we use a condom?"
Him: "I see your point."
So it was ok to use 1 for vaginal sex, but you want BB for the higher risk anal? I'm still SMH on this. Is it possible in this day & age someone truly isn't aware of the whole HIV/BB/anal thing? Completely blown away.
It's things like this that make me have no faith in the human race. Sigh.
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Happened last night.
Me, working my magic. "Let me know when you're ready for the condom."
Him:"You do Greek right?"
"Sure, there's an additional XYZ donation."
"Is the Greek covered or bareback?"
completely flabbergasted
"Me: Why wouldn't we use a condom?"
Him: "You know, I really don't have an answer for that."
Me: "Why wouldn't we use a condom?"
Him: "I see your point."
So it was ok to use 1 for vaginal sex, but you want BB for the higher risk anal? I'm still SMH on this. Is it possible in this day & age someone truly isn't aware of the whole HIV/BB/anal thing? Completely blown away.
It's things like this that make me have no faith in the human race. Sigh.
Had a discussion with a regular about this some years ago, he was recommending vaseline as lubricant for anal. I pointed out vaseline can reduce strength of latex condoms, imagine my horror when he said we don't need to use condoms and 'HIV is for gays'.
Now someone I will not accept bookings from, not only because of this - combination of issues. Mostly subtle delivered with arrogance.
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I am so honoured....
"Hi,
Apologies for the unsolicited message, I was browsing.... in search of models for our next project in the ....
I'm not sure if you know my work but you might recognise my stage name Ben Dover?
We are currently working on some new kink content for a new branch of our site and was wondering if you'd be interested in working with us?
The scenes will be quite extreme so I would need to understand your limits, but from what I have seen you may be ideal for these shoots. We can even keep your face out of shots if that is an issue for you.
If you are interested you can contact me on my email simon@.......
Kind regards
Simon James Honey"
:FF So Mr Ben Dover himself, how can anyone refuse ::) Plonker
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Oh hold on it may not be quite the con I thought it was. Sent his email address if required. Apologies Simon if you are the real one... :angel:
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Happened last night.
Me, working my magic. "Let me know when you're ready for the condom."
Him:"You do Greek right?"
"Sure, there's an additional XYZ donation."
"Is the Greek covered or bareback?"
completely flabbergasted
"Me: Why wouldn't we use a condom?"
Him: "You know, I really don't have an answer for that."
Me: "Why wouldn't we use a condom?"
Him: "I see your point."
So it was ok to use 1 for vaginal sex, but you want BB for the higher risk anal? I'm still SMH on this. Is it possible in this day & age someone truly isn't aware of the whole HIV/BB/anal thing? Completely blown away.
It's things like this that make me have no faith in the human race. Sigh.
You don't think he thought we wear condoms for the 'front bottom' just to prevent little babies do you? 🤔
Bless.
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You don't think he thought we wear condoms for the 'front bottom' just to prevent little babies do you? 🤔
Bless.
Have had some clients think that pregnancy is the main reason for condoms, reassure me it's ok they've had the snip (when we have almost accidentally had bare contact either before or after applying/removing condom. Explained it's for their protection as much as mine, they'd not considered STIs.
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Have had some clients think that pregnancy is the main reason for condoms, reassure me it's ok they've had the snip (when we have almost accidentally had bare contact either before or after applying/removing condom. Explained it's for their protection as much as mine, they'd not considered STIs.
Idiots. Every GD last 1 of'em😡. I am 58 years old, FFS. Ain't no babies going on around here.
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Have had some clients think that pregnancy is the main reason for condoms, reassure me it's ok they've had the snip (when we have almost accidentally had bare contact either before or after applying/removing condom. Explained it's for their protection as much as mine, they'd not considered STIs.
When that's been said to me I've replied yes so have I! The confused facial expression when they don't know what to make of it or say next is priceless ;D
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Idiots. Every GD last 1 of'em😡. I am 58 years old, FFS. Ain't no babies going on around here.
Hehe, I'm a few short years behind you.
Should we be flattered instead? 🤔
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Text I got the other day, “are you available babe” and then before I could answer he texted “so when will I get the video” 🤔🤔 and I replied “what video is this”, no answer!!
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They say, let's have a 69..
I say no thanks..
They say why not?
And I say, I don't like the view..
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I had an hour booked a while back. He was quite arty looking when he turned up (flowery shirt, Doc Martens) which I liked. He'd been contacting me for a while and was always very wordy. Anyway we chat for about 15 minutes and he turns round and says. Oh I think I'm going to leave as there's no chemistry between us, we're just chatting like friends. Seriously? This isn't a fucking date you cretin! I think I've probably fancied about 1% of my clients. Chemistry isn't a prerequisite or did I miss a memo?!
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I had an hour booked a while back. He was quite arty looking when he turned up (flowery shirt, Doc Martens) which I liked. He'd been contacting me for a while and was always very wordy. Anyway we chat for about 15 minutes and he turns round and says. Oh I think I'm going to leave as there's no chemistry between us, we're just chatting like friends. Seriously? This isn't a fucking date you cretin! I think I've probably fancied about 1% of my clients. Chemistry isn't a prerequisite or did I miss a memo?!
He was expecting you to jump him because he was too nervous to make a move and show he was ready for sex. I know when guys are talking a lot it is because they are nervous. What....a....plonker!
I had one recently.... 'Bring large condoms' What for? His smaller than average penis.....honestly these blokes are in fantasyland.
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Just got an email through AW from a 26 year old with zero feedback...”do you mind if I’m taken”🙄 and I am assuming this means he has a girlfriend/wife..I think he is most likely a fantasist and perhaps wants me to reply yes but this shit doesn’t work with me and I won’t feed their ego UNTIL I am paid to do so..I gave him my standard blunt reply about this being a transaction blah blah blah..I have never bought into this shit unless I’m getting paid to be in it, I know some escorts would give him what he wanted but why should I until I am paid, why should any of us! :FF
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I did have one client say to me (as I was stripping off) oh I'm so glad you're not one of those skinny girls. Cheers love! It's not like you'll see 15 stone again!
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I did have one client say to me (as I was stripping off) oh I'm so glad you're not one of those skinny girls. Cheers love! It's not like you'll see 15 stone again!
Such cheeky bastards eh? See when I get a put down like that then I ALWAYS put them down back, you won’t catch me just giving a nice smile and saying nowt!! One guy texted me that I must be desperate to be a hooker and this was after he tried to book me but wouldn’t phone and proceeded to tell me that he was moving to the area my work flat was in and all other irrelevant shite, anyway I texted back “and you must be desperate to pay for a shag, I am getting good money for being a desperate hooker, you are only having an orgasm, you must be one ugly fucker to have to pay for something that should be natural”, and then I blocked him...it’s no wonder I get bad reviews, though they didn’t criticise my service, just my face, body and personality!!🤣🤣
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I once had a "self-made scrap metal millionaire" tell me during a meal at his home, "I'm probably 100% richer than you are and 80% more intelligent"
I was gobsmacked.
I have no idea as to his IQ or assets, but he ate his entire steak and (shared :-X) salad meal with his hands and used his sheets to wipe his cum away twice (before sleeping in them) :-\
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I once had a "self-made scrap metal millionaire" tell me during a meal at his home, "I'm probably 100% richer than you are and 80% more intelligent"
I was gobsmacked.
I have no idea as to his IQ or assets, but he ate his entire steak and (shared :-X) salad meal with his hands and used his sheets to wipe his cum away twice (before sleeping in them) :-\
With comments like that then I would’ve gotten up and walked away with his cash! Or given him a shit service, cunt.
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With comments like that then I would’ve gotten up and walked away with his cash! Or given him a shit service, cunt.
I know :( With hindsight I agree.
It was not long after I first started and he painted himself as a real gangster connected guy with a finger in every pie (quite literally, re my earlier comments above ;D)
Lived at the back end of beyond in a converted barn, miles away from anywhere.
It was an overnight and I think I just wanted to get out of there in one piece :-\
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I know :( With hindsight I agree.
It was not long after I first started and he painted himself as a real gangster connected guy with a finger in every pie (quite literally, re my earlier comments above ;D)
Lived at the back end of beyond in a converted barn, miles away from anywhere.
It was an overnight and I think I just wanted to get out of there in one piece :-\
I hear you! Like a gangster would tell you he was a gangster! I’ve met many of them!
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Oh god, the wannabe Gs. Fuck off mate, you're not fooling anyone.
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I once had a "self-made scrap metal millionaire" tell me during a meal at his home, "I'm probably 100% richer than you are and 80% more intelligent"
I was gobsmacked.
I have no idea as to his IQ or assets, but he ate his entire steak and (shared :-X) salad meal with his hands and used his sheets to wipe his cum away twice (before sleeping in them) :-\
*chokes back vomit*
Ewwwwww.....
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I once had a "self-made scrap metal millionaire" tell me during a meal at his home, "I'm probably 100% richer than you are and 80% more intelligent"
I was gobsmacked.
I have no idea as to his IQ or assets, but he ate his entire steak and (shared :-X) salad meal with his hands and used his sheets to wipe his cum away twice (before sleeping in them) :-\
I'd have been tempted to say, all that and you're still a cunt ;D
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Client - 'I usually go for young, thin girls but sometimes- I like big boobs and older ladies!'
Red hot mamma - 'Lucky me'
A younger me would have grumped up, but I laughed out loud because he was unusually transparent and we were both enjoying the gig. And he's welcome next time he gets that MILF hunger.
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Client - 'I usually go for young, thin girls but sometimes- I like big boobs and older ladies!'
Red hot mamma - 'Lucky me'
A younger me would have grumped up, but I laughed out loud because he was unusually transparent and we were both enjoying the gig. And he's welcome next time he gets that MILF hunger.
Haha don't you love when they get the urge for something a bit different and realise what they've been missing.
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Yes it's like a secret 'vice' hidden in a secret vice. I couldn't not laugh!
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The day before a booking I was asked if I could please have longer pubes than I had on his previous booking. Not sure how I "grow my own" in less than 24 hours ???
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The day before a booking I was asked if I could please have longer pubes than I had on his previous booking. Not sure how I "grow my own" in less than 24 hours ???
oh FGS lol, I read that then goggled pubic wigs, fuck me I couldn’t believe it, hope it’s not real hair though hahahaha
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oh FGS lol, I read that then goggled pubic wigs, fuck me I couldn’t believe it, hope it’s not real hair though hahahaha
I did too and then found myself completely intrigued by pubic hair dye and the thought of growing mine and to use it. I’d heard of it but I think I’m in a bit of a “fuck it” phase and it could be cute. ;D
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I did too and then found myself completely intrigued by pubic hair dye and the thought of growing mine and to use it. I’d heard of it but I think I’m in a bit of a “fuck it” phase and it could be cute. ;D
too much of a faff for me I’m a lazy cow lol I’ll stick to being a baldy
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too much of a faff for me I’m a lazy cow lol I’ll stick to being a baldy
😂😂 being off work and inherently lazy is exactly why I’m hairy.
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Here's a way of asking for unpaid labour, i.e. going out for a meal with him: "I can treat you for a lunch!" 🤡
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The one that sticks in my mind was the man who, at the end of our booking, said I was the same height/size as his daughter. Then there was another man who referred to the riding crop toy I had brought to the booking and brought up that his daughter is into horse riding. 🤮🤮🤮
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Client- I’m earning a fortune, don’t like to brag but I’ve got two houses and a top of the range merc outside. Since my divorce I’ve got so much money I choose when I want to work.
Me- (unimpressed) oh lovely. (Moves on with appointment, pretend to cum bla bla)
Client later in text- since I gave you such a good orgasm earlier, what’s your price if I come back later?
Me- £180. (Same as before)
Client- aw ok will have to leave it then
Hahahaha what an arsehole
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Hahahaha what an arsehole
Hehehe... ;D :FF I honestly don't understand! I've seen this behaviour before - with the same guy that offered me a warm meal in exchange for labour in fact!
Dude is bragging and then tries to lowball you.
I'm struggling to understand. What's the payoff for these people? Are they that deluded?
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Client- I’m earning a fortune, don’t like to brag but I’ve got two houses and a top of the range merc outside. Since my divorce I’ve got so much money I choose when I want to work.
Me- (unimpressed) oh lovely. (Moves on with appointment, pretend to cum bla bla)
Client later in text- since I gave you such a good orgasm earlier, what’s your price if I come back later?
Me- £180. (Same as before)
Client- aw ok will have to leave it then
Hahahaha what an arsehole
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D It is always the ones who brag who are the ones who are tight and have less money ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I can beat you all.
I had a guy last week. He was abit of a dick but I put my best performance on. (He text me on the way saying he NEVER drives an hour for a whore, or pays £170ph).
Anyway, I faked it. He thought I absolutely loved it, and said he would come back but probably not pay £170. I said I would offer him £150ph.
He told me because I obviously enjoyed myself so much, he charges £100 for his time. So can he pay £85 and I won’t have to pay him for his services..
:o
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Another guy asked me my age, I said 33 (which I am and is on my profile) he said he thought I was early 40s!! I’m always told I look late 20s 😂
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Lol scrolling through this section has given me some right laughs. I had one client with a super thick indian accent cup my breast and say "hmm low hanging fruit" 😆
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Low hanging fruit!
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 and a few more 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
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I can beat you all.
I had a guy last week. He was abit of a dick but I put my best performance on. (He text me on the way saying he NEVER drives an hour for a whore, or pays £170ph).
Anyway, I faked it. He thought I absolutely loved it, and said he would come back but probably not pay £170. I said I would offer him £150ph.
He told me because I obviously enjoyed myself so much, he charges £100 for his time. So can he pay £85 and I won’t have to pay him for his services..
:o
You have the patience of a saint. He was so insulting. Rather then offering £150 to him i would have said i won't see you for less than £200 lol
I don't like men that speak like that to women but i think it depends because it works in some womens favour when they promote themselves like that as lots of men like to book women who they can get to be submissive to and the women will earn more money.
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You’re braver than I am, I would have cancelled him soon as he sent that text. I know some ladies might like jack the lad types but if I’m being honest them type of cocky men make my vagina as dry as a prune.
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You’re braver than I am, I would have cancelled him soon as he sent that text. I know some ladies might like jack the lad types but if I’m being honest them type of cocky men make my vagina as dry as a prune.
He is trying to be dominate trying to put her in her place. Typical misogynist.
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This week:
C: Are you free today
Me: Yes, I have availability at 3pm
C: Who is this again
Me: Pia
C: How old are you
Me: 54
C: Bareback?
Me: Absolutely not
C: But you are 54
😂😂😂
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This week:
C: Are you free today
Me: Yes, I have availability at 3pm
C: Who is t ;Dhis again
Me: Pia
C: How old are you
Me: 54
C: Bareback?
Me: Absolutely not
C: But you are 54
😂😂😂
:FF :FF ;D What a prik