See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599281 times)

naughtyjas

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 377
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3045 on: 14 July 2012, 07:51:06 pm »
Just had a text from someone in my phonebook named walked out

Quote
Can I make an appt for 8 2nite.


er, the answer would be no.  You didn't like me last time so why book again.  Idiot ::)

ilovedots

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 395
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3046 on: 14 July 2012, 11:15:24 pm »
A guy arranged a session tonight, I texted him the address and his reply was: "great i know where that is i wont need to use twat nav lol"

God give me strength  :FF
Yes, I'd risk it for a biscuit, as I said, you know me.

Kristina Bristol Escort

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3047 on: 15 July 2012, 08:03:50 pm »
Phone rings - I answer voice on the end says can you play with your pussy - I hang up

Soon be school holidays and phone calls like these will go through the roof - delightful  :FF - roll on September x

ilovedots

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 395
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3048 on: 15 July 2012, 11:27:53 pm »
I received 7 identical text messages from the same guy over a period of about 10 hours:

"Hi A., yr aw profile is quite addictive and I have to keep going bk to it, its v haunting"

Yes, and?   ;D

Yes, I'd risk it for a biscuit, as I said, you know me.

ilovedots

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 395
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3049 on: 18 July 2012, 10:13:10 pm »
Here I am again, a text I received a minute ago:

Hii then I sow ur profil adultwork I wanna meet u are u able
Yes, I'd risk it for a biscuit, as I said, you know me.

Ellie_e

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 272
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3050 on: 19 July 2012, 12:23:54 pm »
my turn my turn! (edited to protect the crazy)


Hello Ellie
 
I am XXy.o doctor(xxxxx) from XXXX, well travelled gentleman with a wide spectrum of interests, [list redacted]
looking for  educated partner during my stay in London August 5-11 Hotel Dorchester, in case You are interested in dating with me please reply according to,

I wish to know more about You in the following ones:
1. Your interest and experience in dancing tango&salsa,
2. if You have joined any event meeting of Rotarians,
3. If You have practised yoga or ballet
4. I need someone who also follows the trends in the market of cosmetics,
5. better in addition who obsess the guidelines of British  medical system and institutions which refer to dermotologists.
6.You have to consider the fact that I am a dermotologist, and want to appear in my social circle and events
with a lady who is well groomed and experienced extraordinarily in reflecting the natural beauty of her skin care.
7.Enhanced beauty effect of legs whilst performing elegance on exquisite pair of high heels for private clubbing activities is special wish of mine, which should also convince third eyes about my professional expertize
8.I dont like female companions with bladder weakness.

My professional background consists of following experiences:

[1-5 - list of very specific medical areas, redacted]


I am also sending You some pics of me and my travels,
looking forward to discuss the details, in case You wanna date with me
warm regards


What I want to know is why the crazies always chose the Mandarin Oriental, or the Dorchester, for our supposed tryst?  Like these are the only schmancy hotels they know??

Again like Amy my first thought upon receiving this was that it was so long since I'd had anything good enough for this thread!  ;D[/list]

PoshTotty

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Retired after a long time in the business
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3051 on: 19 July 2012, 08:49:45 pm »
So, when are you meeting him then Ellie  ;) ;D He sounds wonderful  ;D

Cat_BBW

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3,819
  • Meow.
    • AdultWork Profile
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3052 on: 19 July 2012, 09:41:15 pm »

8.I dont like female companions with bladder weakness.



This HAS to be a contender in the "How Not to Book an Escort" awards 2012!!!

Ellie_e

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 272
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3053 on: 20 July 2012, 10:49:27 am »
So, when are you meeting him then Ellie  ;) ;D He sounds wonderful  ;D

Well I've not been to any Rotarian events and I'm also not a fan of the chintzy decor at the Dorchester so tragically I'll have to sit this one out, oh NO


I also have bladder weakness

reneesme

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 96
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3054 on: 20 July 2012, 10:28:32 pm »
well I had a text from a potential booking, after enquiring he said, "can I look up your skirt at your pussy and pull your lips apart for a good look up your hole?" ermmmm no

etherealmelody

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 49
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3055 on: 21 July 2012, 07:18:56 am »
well I had a text from a potential booking, after enquiring he said, "can I look up your skirt at your pussy and pull your lips apart for a good look up your hole?" ermmmm no
Hahaha, that's hilarious. I wonder if he's ever seen a real pussy before, because I'm pretty sure it is not a gaping orifice you can see up like a tube.  ::)

etherealmelody

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 49
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3056 on: 21 July 2012, 07:30:28 am »
On my AW (there are literally only 20 escorts in Toronto who use it):

"Hi there, i'm coming over the pond for a few days and i liked your profile quite a bit! I am a virgin because I am... erm, well, self conscious about my size and thought why wait? Better now than ever!"

I respond, "Hi, <name>, I'd love to book with you. When were you wanting to book for?"

His response, "thanks melody, i am looking forward booking. can u do it tmrw? my parents will be visiting mates and i'll be by myself in the hotel."

... No. No thank you. Also, I Facebooked his email address and was shocked to find he used his real email address. So daft!

Kristina Bristol Escort

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3057 on: 21 July 2012, 09:59:02 am »
This little gem in my inbox today - I am so charmed my bags are packed and I am looking for my wedding dress!!! ;D

Hi my name is thomas.
 
You are sweet andt beatfuld lady with heart to feelings fuld out dear in leif.
 
Like to meet you four funther,leif andt
marrigiet.You mans sweets heart andt dream to lelving with.Will us the best to old time say that with heart andt feelings.Has many thinks to giving you andt us in leif.
 
Ay will be nice,sweet andt good over from you,some say dear.
 
Accept you andt your works,also forward beetween us.
 
Clear to be andt stay your good husbundt so soon you say yes.We has old to wind dearlig beatfuld sweet darling.P.S.Hope soon has a mail from you with your ansher.Good day to you andt your heat.
 
Best rengrats.

pandora

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 919
    • Pandora
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3058 on: 21 July 2012, 10:36:40 am »
On my AW (there are literally only 20 escorts in Toronto who use it):

"Hi there, i'm coming over the pond for a few days and i liked your profile quite a bit! I am a virgin because I am... erm, well, self conscious about my size and thought why wait? Better now than ever!"

I respond, "Hi, <name>, I'd love to book with you. When were you wanting to book for?"

His response, "thanks melody, i am looking forward booking. can u do it tmrw? my parents will be visiting mates and i'll be by myself in the hotel."

... No. No thank you. Also, I Facebooked his email address and was shocked to find he used his real email address. So daft!

Am I missing something? What is wrong with this one, other than no contact details.  Are you assuming he is a child?

ilovedots

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 395
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3059 on: 21 July 2012, 11:19:12 am »
Text this morning:

Cretin: 'Hi can u do bareback if clean?"

Me: "No, but I'm willing to donate a few braincells for a transplant."

Cretin: "Oh, thanks x"
Yes, I'd risk it for a biscuit, as I said, you know me.