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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599343 times)

lili69

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2985 on: 02 July 2012, 01:36:27 pm »
I've just exhanged a couple of emails with regards to a client wanting to book me tonight.  He was asking what sort of condoms I had as he required XXL ones.... so I politely replied....

anyway, this man claims to have a girth of 8" and a length of 13" - I think we need to call Norris McWhirter!  Of course, I TOTALLY believe him....

TIMEWASTER.... NEXT!!!  :FF

naughtyjas

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2986 on: 03 July 2012, 07:55:58 am »
Well I don't know what to make of this lovely AW message waiting for me in my inbox this morning:

Quote
Hey you are gorgeous, I want to make a serious proposition. I'm looking
for a nice asian lady who might consider getting pregnant and having a
baby with me. I will obviously pay a fee and regular monthly payments. I'm
not suggesting marriage but would be very happy to marry if it suits. I'm
a professional 33 year old caucasion, blue eyes and handsome. If of
interest please get in touch

It's too bloody early for this kind of weirdness.  Bloody stupid idot just wants bb and has come up with a long arsed story instead of asking straight out for it. If this is an indication of the kind of day I'm going to be having I'm going back to bed.
« Last Edit: 03 July 2012, 08:01:05 am by naughtyjas »

Sahrbear

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2987 on: 03 July 2012, 08:16:30 am »
95% of guys who contact me via email are timewasters (as in they are never going to phone, never going to show up).

I got one recently from a guy who explained he's "never done this before" "very shy" "very nervous" and "hopes he can go through with it". Really? Yep I'll book and pay for my working flat and then cross my little fingers that you show (oh pretty please). Why do some men think I sit around all day twiddling my thumbs?


lili69

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2988 on: 03 July 2012, 12:32:36 pm »
Lovely email this morning - all it said was:

u do outcall


Yes, I do outcalls, well done for noticing that on my profile!   *DELETE*  I couldn't even bothered to reply....

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2989 on: 03 July 2012, 08:28:38 pm »
Imagine if you will, an AW profile featuring a virile hot man.
Serious hunk-land. Just yummy.
Anyway, he dropped me a message today:
hungblackescortmale: Hows u there? Juicy u got there i do like. v.sexy. u a fan of athletic built hung black. interested? feel free to gimme a buzz  xx

AUTOMATIC RESPONSE
Hi. Thank you for your Private Message. I will reply as soon as I get back to my computer. However If you would like to speak sooner, then by all means please
call my phone number, displayed at the base of my profile page.

You are very yummy. Please feel free to book a session with me.

hungblackescortmale: if u up for a fun meet when u not working feel free il be happy to give u a good seeing

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ....& repeat.
« Last Edit: 24 January 2017, 05:32:51 pm by River »

lili69

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2990 on: 03 July 2012, 09:29:50 pm »
Oh Jodie please please please give me hungblackescortmale's number - I'm just soooo desperate for a good seeing to for free!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha

Green Carnation

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2991 on: 04 July 2012, 01:24:32 pm »
Since last Thursday, I have had nothing but bloody annoying text messages! 3 regulars booked since then, and nobody new. I'm only receiving a suspiciously high amount of text messages, all from different numbers though. I'm starting to get slightly obsessed that someone is trying to get my address, as all of them want an incall. And all of them are very similar to each other....
Some of the texts I received in the last couple of days:
- hi, r u free? If so what's your address, and are u near a station? Thx
- hi- free 4 an incall today?
- r u working today?xx
- hi
- where are u based?
- hi, u free today?
- darling, are you doing incalls today?
- u free pls
- are you free now?
- can u do 1hr incall? Where u based
- send me your address, I like to check parking pls

I am literally furious! I don't even reply to those sort of messages, I absolutely H*A*T*E text speak, and I can't be bothered to answer, not to mention give out my address to people who can't spell properly. I have tried in the past, and they were worst of the worst, always haggling, always wanting more than I can offer, always asking 100000 questions, and wanting to me my boyfriends in the end.

Miss Moneypenny

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2992 on: 04 July 2012, 05:12:51 pm »
I am 39, white, fit, educated... And on business in Manchester - so I have a double room booked at a top central (Princess St) Manchester hotel from 2pm on 25th to 12pm on 27th July. I am happy and willing to let you use my hotel room for incalls during that time - think of the extra business you will get lol. The only thing I ask for is that we sleep together on the nights of 25th and 26th and go out for dinner and drinks on one or both of the nights - the hotel costs and all meals and drinks are on me of course.
Please let me know if you are up for this and I will call to have a chat and confirm details.
Love Russ xx

This generous offer was emailed to me earlier. Any other north west ladies receive something similar? Anyway, I replied to politely decline and said I did outcalls only as you can never guarantee how many bookings you would get for an incall day. My one hour fee would more than cover the cost of the hotel room per day, and I think he was after far more bang for his buck. And I suspect his employer was stumping up for the hotel costs if he was on a business conference or something. But hey, God loves a trier!!

Ladies, as a newbie indie, have I been hasty and looked a gift horse in the mouth???? PM me if anyone wants to take him up on it, and I will gladly pass on his details!

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2993 on: 05 July 2012, 12:23:26 am »
How not to book an escort....

Phone
him "hi I'd like to make a booking"
me "ok"
him: *hangs up*

seconds later

Text: lookin for apointment ?50

(my min is ?100)

 ::)

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2994 on: 05 July 2012, 02:21:52 pm »
here's an odd one......

Emails

09/06/2012 "hi i would love to meet up with you how much would fee be as i stay in motherwell xx"

09/06/2012 - Reply "Hi there My rates are on my profile... For Motherwell times of booking are important as I dont drive x"

05/07/2012 "hi 1pm td in mwell 1hr xx"

Like a month later?!?  :o



figa98

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2995 on: 05 July 2012, 02:31:38 pm »
Miss Moneypenny I had that one too! I did not give the tw** the satisfaction of getting a reply just block/delete.


figa98

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2996 on: 05 July 2012, 02:40:02 pm »
Just read you say you are a newbie.

Never ever take anyone up on anything like that.He is a time waster, a scam artist or maybe worse.

You have missed out on NOTHING! xxxx


figa98

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2997 on: 05 July 2012, 02:45:01 pm »
Had one last week saying

Will you let me fist you anally and rip you slightly while doing it?

Oh yes of course you can rip my arse open,I would just love that,I mean who wouldn't?  :FF

improbablecats

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2998 on: 06 July 2012, 07:25:11 pm »
"hey sweet angel,, i really like ur sexy look? feel heats im romao 26x
i neva done this b4 and am very shyx but threes something about ux
i wud lov 2 c u Gorgus maybe 4 a hot passionate lapdance,
from u in some pvc n suspeders or in some sexy outfitxxxxxxxx
then maybe some role play..
maybe a teacher who specialises in teaching how to perform the best oral on her..
u can start by showing me all you senstive areas n how u liked to be passionately kissed slowly teaching me how to make u went hornyx
maybe you ask me to undress u then show me how u like 2 masterbate and
teach me how you like me to do forcing me to eat u step by step untill u cum in my mouthxxxx i got a few pic on my proilexxx b my guestxx
maybe the teacher wants me to eat it all up... well can i miss?mmmmmxxxx
that would be soo special a hot fantasy maybe you can help live it outxxx
get back to me baby ??..muahxx???? 4nowxxxxxxx"

*runs*

orchidperfume

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2999 on: 06 July 2012, 10:52:59 pm »
I get an email today, * wow can i book you, wish you were my mummy* !!!!!!!!! NO THANKS  ::)