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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599058 times)

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2970 on: 27 June 2012, 01:01:38 pm »
Quote from: bananamuffin on 27 June 2012, 11:29:57 am

He must a lorry-based consultant to the WGs of the west midlands......



LMFAO!!! There was a lady who used to post here the "advice" she'd been given by clients/potential clients, I'll have to find the thread for you :D
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Kimmy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2971 on: 27 June 2012, 02:02:12 pm »
Quote from: ilovedots on 26 June 2012, 12:15:33 am
Quote from: ladychannel on 25 June 2012, 10:03:33 pm
Had a client a few weeks ago foreign, english was okish half hour app. pointed to me down there you clean  down there you want washy for me, you wash, i replied i am very clean had a bath for you ha he was so funny with his accent.

A couple of years ago a client turned up on my doorstep, sour face, no 'hello' or anything, walked in, explained that his "English not very good". I just thought 'whatever, I can live with that'. Anyway, we were on the bed, naked, and he did exactly the same thing as your guy, Ladychannel. Pointed to my ladyparts and said "you clean?", I tried to keep my cool and explain politely... but before I knew it, he was attempting to give me a bit of a clean with a wet wipe. I was outraged! He acted really shitty and the rest of the story is not worth sharing, but suffice it to say that he received what I call "Royal treatment", reserved only for the most annoying men ... ;D

I ask clients that do this (you clean!!!?) to leave (they are always poor english speakers for some reason ???), havnt got time for that rubbish
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bananamuffin

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2972 on: 27 June 2012, 02:13:05 pm »
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 27 June 2012, 01:01:38 pm
Quote from: bananamuffin on 27 June 2012, 11:29:57 am

He must a lorry-based consultant to the WGs of the west midlands......



LMFAO!!! There was a lady who used to post here the "advice" she'd been given by clients/potential clients, I'll have to find the thread for you :D

Now I've had re-think, and I could be looking at this the wrong way, too negatively you know? No, what this is is a business opportunity. From now on, I am re-marketing myself as:

"The Trucker Fucker"

Now if I find anyone stealing this awesome USP, there will be trouble, k?!!!

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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2973 on: 27 June 2012, 03:43:19 pm »
I havent posted in ages but I had to sure this one!!!!!


Hi ,you are super cute! my name is Alfie, I am also an escort that uses this website now but that's not why I am contacting you. When I tell women what I do they find it hard to cope, Ive decided that I'll try dating someone with the same "experiences" as myself. Your cutey and I love your style, you should come say hi ;)

also as for "I am also an escort that uses this website" he joined the day before  ::)
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ilovedots

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2974 on: 27 June 2012, 06:18:28 pm »
Quote from: Friday on 27 June 2012, 03:43:19 pm
I havent posted in ages but I had to sure this one!!!!!


Hi ,you are super cute! my name is Alfie, I am also an escort that uses this website now but that's not why I am contacting you. When I tell women what I do they find it hard to cope, Ive decided that I'll try dating someone with the same "experiences" as myself. Your cutey and I love your style, you should come say hi ;)

also as for "I am also an escort that uses this website" he joined the day before  ::)

Cr?me de la cr?me of deluded timewasters  ;D
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Yes, I'd risk it for a biscuit, as I said, you know me.

Green Carnation

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2975 on: 27 June 2012, 11:51:43 pm »
I had 12 ( twelve ) enquiries about incall yesterday. I normally have maximum 3. But the funny bit is that I VERY CLEARLY stated on my profile that I wasn't available for an incall on that day!!!! Were they taking the piss?! 5 of them vere phonecalls and the guys sounded genuine. The rest were texts, so you never know.
Now, some of the texts:
- hi babe, what time do you do incalls in the morning? - my profile says, I offer early morning outcalls ( this one on capital letters), but no incalls......
- free for 1 hr incall this evening? What are your rates? - profile says - no incalls today, and rates are clearly specified
- where are you based please? - ..........
- hey, free for an incall? - .........
- hi, can you do incall today? - ..... This one is even more annoying, because we SPOKE on the phone the day earlier, and I told him I wouldn't be doing incalls the text day.
- are u avlb at 5pm


And the sweetest text of the day taaaaaa daaaaaam : 'Hi xx'  :P
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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2976 on: 28 June 2012, 12:53:45 am »
Ten to one am...and I don't do in calls. And I get this delightful message!

How are you ? Can you accept 20? just to let me lick your pussy and your
ass hole for 10 - 15 min please ? No sex . I want to make you come with my
tongue . You can watch tv . All you have to do its just to open your legs
and i will make your juicy pussy nice and clean with my tongue .  I'm very
clean,nice, good looking man . I can come and now or tomorrow . Its Ok ?
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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2977 on: 28 June 2012, 02:02:41 am »
Oh the idiots are out in force tonight.
Just had a booking made with no prior communication. And when I looked at his profile he's just joined today and as it's past midnight that's like he's been a member for 2 hours....and he want a booking NOW in East London when I'm West.

I'll forgive him as he's new....but Jesus wept, give me strength! :FF

I told him it's too late now and I can't teleport.....he said he'll pay for my cab!! Ha ha ha really! There and back....that would be about ?60!

Yesterday was my best night ever...but I'm certainly paying for it tonight!
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EvaBeeva

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2978 on: 28 June 2012, 12:31:06 pm »
Quote from: Kimmy on 27 June 2012, 02:02:12 pm
Quote from: ilovedots on 26 June 2012, 12:15:33 am
Quote from: ladychannel on 25 June 2012, 10:03:33 pm
Had a client a few weeks ago foreign, english was okish half hour app. pointed to me down there you clean  down there you want washy for me, you wash, i replied i am very clean had a bath for you ha he was so funny with his accent.

A couple of years ago a client turned up on my doorstep, sour face, no 'hello' or anything, walked in, explained that his "English not very good". I just thought 'whatever, I can live with that'. Anyway, we were on the bed, naked, and he did exactly the same thing as your guy, Ladychannel. Pointed to my ladyparts and said "you clean?", I tried to keep my cool and explain politely... but before I knew it, he was attempting to give me a bit of a clean with a wet wipe. I was outraged! He acted really shitty and the rest of the story is not worth sharing, but suffice it to say that he received what I call "Royal treatment", reserved only for the most annoying men ... ;D

I ask clients that do this (you clean!!!?) to leave (they are always poor english speakers for some reason ???), havnt got time for that rubbish

I had one ask me for a certificate recently ::)

I wrote back basically saying that as I use condoms with my clients, I was going to refuse his request.
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Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused

orchidperfume

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2979 on: 28 June 2012, 05:44:23 pm »
Hey Eva  he should carry a certificate himself !!!!
 I would show my food hygiene one ha ha !!!
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Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2980 on: 28 June 2012, 05:54:02 pm »
Have had a gutful of TWs/Hagglers/Fantasists/NoShows/idiots and people booking then cancelling shortly afterwards since yesterday afternoon  :FF :FF :FF

Can I have a real client please?
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DianaMurphy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2981 on: 30 June 2012, 12:16:23 pm »
I'm sure this is quite tame in comparison to some of the idiots out there but I got this this morning which got my hackles up a tad!

Quote
Good morning beautiful!!!

I must say that you look so hot in your pic!!!

I'm a white male and I was looking to make a booking to help me spend my birthday.

How could you make sure its a birthday not to forget for me.

Regards

**** xx
(Derby,32)

Erm, you either want to see me or not, sorry but I'm not going to give you cheap thrills you twerp!  :FF The fact he has a face photo on his profile as well which makes it even more likely that I would want to go out of my way to see him!  ::) I simply referred him back to my profile telling him to read about my services and availability, any more questions do come back!  ;D
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orchidperfume

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2982 on: 01 July 2012, 04:18:55 pm »
Hi there

I just wanted to message to see if you are willing to see me, I am 19 and have had no sexual experience what so ever. I love busty older woman and you are so very attractive, if it is possible to arrange a booking I would like to try a BJ and lick your arse if possible? I am not sure about sex yet as I only have a very small penis and am very shy and do not know how to have sex really. If you could let me know if possible that would be great many thanks Xxx

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Sarita

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2983 on: 01 July 2012, 04:49:10 pm »
Quote from: orchidperfume on 01 July 2012, 04:18:55 pm
Hi there

I just wanted to message to see if you are willing to see me, I am 19 and have had no sexual experience what so ever. I love busty older woman and you are so very attractive, if it is possible to arrange a booking I would like to try a BJ and lick your arse if possible? I am not sure about sex yet as I only have a very small penis and am very shy and do not know how to have sex really. If you could let me know if possible that would be great many thanks Xxx

This one's doing the rounds. Bin it.
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Sarita

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2984 on: 01 July 2012, 04:54:06 pm »
Sorry orchidperfume. I'm sure you were going to bin it anyway!
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