"Can I send to a pic of my cock?"
Hmmm, no you're alright thanks......BLOCK!

It's great when they ask that. I always feel like replying "Oh yes please, I'm not sure what a penis looks like"

I would send a variation of one of my text templates:

• Don't send me a picture of your penis, you penis.*

*I stole this line from Friday

Quote from: JodieTs on 17 June 2012, 05:28:27 pm

I would send a variation of one of my text templates:

• Don't send me a picture of your penis, you penis.*

*I stole this line from Friday

Fantastic 

Love it Im stealing this too 

I had this one today entitled 'oral for ladies':

Number X, flat X, X road, my town
30 pound half an hour
Come let me suck lick and nibble on your clit
Open everyday from 11am till 1am
Simple knock the door or phone 0XXXXXXXXX

Don't all rush at once asking me for the number, ok? 

I had this one today entitled 'oral for ladies':

Number X, flat X, X road, my town
30 pound half an hour
Come let me suck lick and nibble on your clit
Open everyday from 11am till 1am
Simple knock the door or phone 0XXXXXXXXX

Don't all rush at once asking me for the number, ok? 

Why do they always use the word "nibble"?! It makes me cross my legs and squirm just thinking about it. Does any woman what teeth involved in that area?! Ick ick ick...

An interesting series of calls over a couple of minutes....

Mr 9? inches: (withheld number, mumbling voice, possibly wanking): I've seen your ad and..
Me: (Abruptly interrupting) Please phone me back from a non withheld number (I hang up).
Mr 9? inches: (withheld number, mumbling voice, possibly wanking): I've seen your ad and..
Me: (Abruptly interrupting) Please phone me back from a non withheld number (I hang up).
Mr 9? inches: (withheld number, mumbling voice, possibly wanking): I don't think I know how to remove the num....
Me: (Abruptly interrupting) Please phone me back from a non withheld number (I hang up).
Mr 9? inches: (Who has learned to operate the phone functions within a few seconds) Displayed number, mumbling voice, obviously having a wank: I'm interested in seeing you but I need to know what positions you can do and if there are any positions that you can't do.
Me: What on earth are you mumbling on about? For gods sake man, speak clearly and be specific.
Mr 9? inches: Well you would need to be able to perform in certain positions to accommodate me because I have a 9? inch cock...
Me: (Interrupting again) Ah, I thought so.  {I hang up}

Me: Selects my phones Call Blocker app... 

I had this charming e-mail in my AW inbox.

Start ur wkend off with a Bang!!
can I cum and suck ur pussy for free young lady?x warm u up

Yep just what I need before I start work, a sore pussy.

I replied with

Try match.com. There might be someone who'll let you do it for free without even taking them on a date, but I doubt it.

You can always ask your wife.

Me? I'd rather stay in bed. I charge for people touching me seeing as I am an escort and the definition of an escort is someone who is paid for sexual services.

Don't worry ladies, you won't miss out as he seems to be the straying type  and is e-mailing everyone he can.  It's just a matter of time before he can come and help you get your pussy ready for work.   What a considerate young man.

Ah, the joy of the man who calls, barks "Available now?" without so much as a hello. *ignore list*

I despise this

A brief totally normal enquiry first thing this morning.
A few hours later a subsequent text from the same number:

-Im gonna fuck u hard this week babe x

Why are you sending such a dreadful text to my 8 yr old daughter's phone?

-Sorry wrong number meant to be 318 on end do appologise