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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599182 times)

Kristina Bristol Escort

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2340 on: 15 February 2012, 12:24:18 pm »
I once received a text from someone who claimed it to be his wildest fantasy to pay a cool 1 million pounds into the account of a tall blonde.  All he needed was my bank details and address.

Really..... needless to say I did not give my details and never received the 1 million!

blondieMK

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2341 on: 15 February 2012, 03:05:09 pm »
i have had emails froma guy asking could i attach vacumn cleaner to his cock and turn the machine on!
The vacuum guy also emails me and the friend I work with lmao x

And me. He stopped when I said the vacuum was broken and asked if the paper shredder would do?
R xx

Hahaha!! Xx
"Ain?t no tellin when I?ll go, so there ain?t sh*t that I?ma wait for. I?m the type to say a prayer and then go get what I just prayed for." - Drake.

?I guess you lose some and win some, long as the outcome is income. You know I want it all and then some.? ? Drake

MissThang

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2342 on: 15 February 2012, 04:47:37 pm »
P.s He didn't offer to get me any drink I would like! Pretty hurt by this

Maybe the can of pop is a sweetener, since no-one has taken him up on the cash offer! I've changed my mind, I'm holding out for ?250, can of pop, and a bag of crisps....

Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2343 on: 15 February 2012, 04:55:23 pm »
Maybe the can of pop is a sweetener, since no-one has taken him up on the cash offer! I've changed my mind, I'm holding out for ?250, can of pop, and a bag of crisps....

You must be one of them 'High Class' escorts I keep hearing about!  ;D
R xx

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2344 on: 15 February 2012, 07:05:21 pm »
Mid Jan:
Colin "delete my number" Think im curious bout transexuals wot do u look like and how big r u
Me (Template reply) I don't accept texts. www.--- is my website. I'm available, phone me.

First of Feb:
Colin "delete my number" Know u dont do text but want to know wot services to expect first timer very nervous thanks
Me (Template reply) Look, the law says I have to hear your voice to ensure you are an adult. I can't help with your nerves, I'm an escort, not a shrink.
He then phones. Normal client enquiry follows.

Later the same day

Colin "delete my number" Hi its colin we spoke today do u have any pictures of yourself u can send me thanks
Me (Template reply) www.--- is my site with full details.
Later:
Colin "delete my number" Thanks for that.  u have lovely breasts want to sef what i have in my pants lol
Me Seriously no. Only when you spend time with me.
Colin "delete my number" Shame looking at u in the black dress got me hard
Me No more texts

Three days ago:
Colin "delete my number"  Hi spoke to u last week how much was it to c u thanks
Me Hi Colin  ?x for an hour, I'm available from 5pm today
Clearly freaked that I'd logged his name/number: 
Colin "delete my number" Ok please delete my number will phone if i can get there what will u have on today
Me Lingerie...of course
Colin "delete my number" I know that hun what sort u so funny paint the picture for me
Me Your text has EVERY hallmark of a timewaster. I don't do wank texts...  I'm an Escort. You have seen my pics. Decide:
Visit me or don't.
End of....
Colin "delete my number" How rude get rid of my number please and don't text to wank i text because im married thankyou for your time
Me Then why not try: "Not cheating" on the woman who bore you your children
(educated guess on my part  ;D)
You come across as a timewaster so I'll hold onto your number, thanks.  :)
Colin "delete my number" No iv made a mistale delete my number wont bother u again thanks
Me Mistake? ...Only you can. tell. I'm just an Escort, not a psych. No more texts from you would be nice.
No way will I delete your number because that's a safety issue for me. I won't contact you either, so chill....
Colin "delete my number" Just delete it wont contact u again be sure of that again thank you
Me Not goin g to happen. I could lie to you and you'd never know. But I prefer to be honest.
You either STOP TEXTING ME (as you promised) and nothing happens, ever.
Or
You keep requesting me to delete your number and I keep refusing for my own safety.
The second option is very boring.
So I respectfully suggest you stop texting
And we can both go do something useful like charity work
or write a poem which subsequently inspires a whole generation and improves society for the next 100 years...
Or
we both go watch Ski-Sunday* on the telly!
In all likleihood the 'Ski-Sunday option' being the most likely for both of us.  :)
Colin "delete my number" Thats fine that number better not fall into the wrong hands do apologise be happy


*A lie coz I never watch the telly
« Last Edit: 24 January 2017, 12:03:18 am by River »

JulietteTV

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2345 on: 15 February 2012, 09:38:17 pm »
Mid Jan:
Colin "delete my number" Think im curious bout transexuals wot do u look like and how big r u
Jodie (Template reply) I don't accept texts. www.--- is my website. I'm available, phone me.

First of Feb:
Colin "delete my number" Know u dont do text but want to know wot services to expect first timer very nervous thanks
Jodie (Template reply) Look, the law says I have to hear your voice to ensure you are an adult. I can't help with your nerves, I'm an escort, not a shrink.
He then phones. Normal client enquiry follows.

Later the same day

Colin "delete my number" Hi its colin we spoke today do u have any pictures of yourself u can send me thanks
Jodie (Template reply) www.--- is my site with full details.
Later:
Colin "delete my number" Thanks for that jodie u have lovely breasts want to sef what i have in my pants lol
Jodie Seriously no. Only when you spend time with me.
Colin "delete my number" Shame looking at u in the black dress got me hard
Jodie No more texts

Three days ago:
Colin "delete my number"  Hi Jodie spoke to u last week how much was it to c u thanks
Jodie Hi Colin  ?160 for an hour, I'm available from 5pm today
Clearly freaked that I'd logged his name/number: 
Colin "delete my number" Ok please delete my number will phone if i can get there jodie what will u have on today
Jodie Lingerie...of course
Colin "delete my number" I know that hun what sort u so funny paint the picture for me
Jodie Your text has EVERY hallmark of a timewaster. I don't do wank texts...  I'm an Escort. You have seen my pics. Decide:
Visit me or don't.
End of....
Colin "delete my number" How rude get rid of my number please and don't text to wank i text because im married thankyou for your time
Jodie Then why not try: "Not cheating" on the woman who bore you your children
(educated guess on my part  ;D)
You come across as a timewaster so I'll hold onto your number, thanks.  :)
Colin "delete my number" No iv made a mistale delete my number wont bother u again thanks
Jodie Mistake? ...Only you can. tell. I'm just an Escort, not a psych. No more texts from you would be nice.
No way will I delete your number because that's a safety issue for me. I won't contact you either, so chill....
Colin "delete my number" Just delete it wont contact u again be sure of that again thank you
Jodie Not goin g to happen. I could lie to you and you'd never know. But I prefer to be honest.
You either STOP TEXTING ME (as you promised) and nothing happens, ever.
Or
You keep requesting me to delete your number and I keep refusing for my own safety.
The second option is very boring.
So I respectfully suggest you stop texting
And we can both go do something useful like charity work
or write a poem which subsequently inspires a whole generation and improves society for the next 100 years...
Or
we both go watch Ski-Sunday* on the telly!
In all likleihood the 'Ski-Sunday option' being the most likely for both of us.  :)
Colin "delete my number" Thats fine that number better not fall into the wrong hands do apologise be happy


*A lie coz I never watch the telly

The problem with texting is that every text sent induces a necessary further text as a response! It becomes  a never ending circle totally different to a normal conversation with a beginning and an end!

I don't usually entertain texters but I had a guy who surprised me by arriving after an array of texts asking various questions about being discrete etc and telling how he had a bad time visiting an escort in the past, although I was getting somewhat irritated I presumed he was genuinely nervous but sincere so I persevered with some reassuring words.

I managed to get his location out of him on the way to me so I was assured he was definitely coming anyway.

I suppose somewhat risky but given the overall tone of what he was telling me I went along with it and he was a very easy-going quite tender guy not even remotely nervous when we met which makes me wonder what the fuss was!


River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2346 on: 16 February 2012, 01:47:25 am »
Yes you are right.
Normally one text with my website.

But I was bored!    :P
You can tell...

Liverbird

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2347 on: 16 February 2012, 02:07:04 am »
Nice work JodieTs ;D
And sometimes... it's not just the texting that's important, it's the 'check mate' of texts that makes it worth while ;)
As Jodie said, not to be recommended in general but, occasionally, by being a little more bitter and twisted... it can be good for one's own state of mind.

W.x

MISS RUBY

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2348 on: 16 February 2012, 07:51:05 am »
I HAVE A MUTE TEXTER WHO OBVIOUSLY HAS NO VOICE !
THEY CAN WANK WITH ONE HAND AND TEXT WITH THEIR OTHER!
THEY CAN'T TALK OR READ ESCORTS PROFILES PROPERTY BUT JUST IRRITATE THE HELL OUT OF MR. I JUST  DO NOT REPLY AT ALL.ITS A WASTE OF MY CALL CREDIT AND TIME.

KatieKurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2349 on: 16 February 2012, 08:29:18 pm »
Luv it. They're nutcases sometimes!! LOL.

Call from my AW phone. -

Me: Hello Kate speaking.
                                       
Caller: Hello can you give me some details please?
                                         
Me: Well this phone number is off my Adultwork.com profile where you will find all the information you need including genuine photos of me. Call me back to make an appt.

Click dead line.

xx

JulietteTV

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2350 on: 16 February 2012, 09:02:11 pm »
Luv it. They're nutcases sometimes!! LOL.

Call from my AW phone. -

Me: Hello Kate speaking.
                                       
Caller: Hello can you give me some details please?
                                         
Me: Well this phone number is off my Adultwork.com profile where you will find all the information you need including genuine photos of me. Call me back to make an appt.

Click dead line.

xx

They don't even get that far with me some times! Call, I speak then an immediate dead line. They're so pathetic some of them...

Lexi

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2351 on: 16 February 2012, 10:33:58 pm »
Hahaha hilarious! Not had any ask to delete thir number as yet but can see how rewarding that must have been Jodie!

I find it so rude when they put the phone down without a bye or an acknowledgement... Might just be me though?

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2352 on: 16 February 2012, 11:49:12 pm »
I only posted all that texty-stuff, for my killer punchline.
 


« Last Edit: 23 January 2017, 11:56:06 pm by River »

sara1980

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2353 on: 17 February 2012, 12:15:06 am »

Deleted, sorry x
« Last Edit: 17 February 2012, 01:12:24 am by sara1980 »

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2354 on: 17 February 2012, 01:20:38 am »
They are all out today! This is via text -

guy - "Is K9 too taboo for you babe"

me - "I don't think the hotel allow dogs, except guide dogs"

guy - "But if they did"

me - "Still no"

This MUST be a guy I kicked and then re-kicked who comes into chat and wants me to "just wave bb" if I'm into k9. His name gives you the first clue.. He's looking for dog woman, essentially. Instead of waving, I repiled "Not a chance in hell" and kicked him. If I got a phonecall like that I don't know what I'd do!!!