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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599403 times)

LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2280 on: 25 January 2012, 07:38:51 pm »
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« Last Edit: 13 May 2015, 03:22:01 pm by LouLou37 »
"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

blondieMK

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2281 on: 25 January 2012, 09:51:55 pm »
Just had a weirdest and sweetest (kind of) phone call from a potential client just now.

Was enquiring as to whether i would do OWO even though he's impotent. apparently he can still cum, but not get it up. Then he went on to ask me if i had seen any black clients before...basically his wife left him for a black man and on her way out the door she told him that black mens cocks are so much bigger than white mens  ::) he asked me if it was true, and i told him it wasnt.

He called me "darling" alot and was worried about his age (hes 48) so again i reassured him. Got the vibe hes very nervous, and i kind of felt sorry for him a little bit

This guy calls me at least once a week >.<
"Ain?t no tellin when I?ll go, so there ain?t sh*t that I?ma wait for. I?m the type to say a prayer and then go get what I just prayed for." - Drake.

?I guess you lose some and win some, long as the outcome is income. You know I want it all and then some.? ? Drake

Liverbird

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2282 on: 25 January 2012, 11:47:33 pm »
[suspicious]N.s Gent 04/9/09 appears on my phone.
I answer while checking for the index card.
Gent's card says: - Massive fantasist timewaster fantasist. A number of no show bookings and a clearly attempted outcall to a fake address.
I log everything and everyone. Thousands of cards. Clients, timewasters, no shows, threats, Penis STI clients with full descriptions of their fraked up genitalia, abduction/robbery attempts {twice, long time ago}, Any call which is dodgy on any level. Any call which is other than just a general enquiry. All date indexed. Reading this back, I come across as unstable & stalky like...so at least that's accurate...   :P

"Hello, I saw you on RXXX"
I start to swear and be totally 'Off my face' abusive - a whole lot. I proceed to give him a lot of ABUSE and AGGRESSION.
{totally unstable, not him, me!}
Then I told him that I like Slovakians but that I hate him.
And why would he want to see me when there are nice escorts out there.
He is taken aback, so I start again, shouting at him.
I stop and put a polite calm voice on and say: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute abuse, or the full half hour?
See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y
He sounds confused and says "Half hour?"
So I carry on with the abuse, finishing with:
"And don't phone me again"
He replies "Sorry"
So I say "Tosser" and hang up.

That was so gooooood.
I say bad things when I have an audience. This time two escort friends in my lounge, their jaws agape in shock! {Though they were in hysterics by the end}

Worth not copying: This sort of thing, too many times, will eventually catch the wrong caller
& result in a violent shortening of one's life.
Who cares? I want out, anyway.[/suspicious]
You made a bold statement just there friend. A bad memory is all that it was?
W.x

EvaBeeva

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2283 on: 26 January 2012, 12:23:18 am »
That has just made me wish I kept cards..
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused

Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2284 on: 26 January 2012, 02:11:28 am »
That has just made me wish I kept cards..

I save all the numbers in my Blackberry and then notes or code depending on who it is. If someone calls me who has rung before I know before I answer who it is, whether I've met them, whether they book and cancel, if they have terrible english, are obviously having a wank etc. If I've seen them then I put the date of their last booking and how long they stayed for too. Its amazing what you can fit into just a few characters and its enough to give me a heads up on whether I want to answer and how to handle them. It also lets me filter out anyone I save as a TW and also to tie up phone numbers and emails which is handy when people swap about how they choose to contact me.

The codes kind of look like this:
Andy nice, oldr, hj no f. 07/11 1 - Nice older chap who likes a hand job only and I last saw in November for 1 hour
Tom, tll, asi, frantic kiss 16/12 2 - Tom who is tall and Asian and kisses like a suction pump on double speed. Saw in Dec for 2 hrs
John flake tk dep 26/11 1 - Bloke who books and cancels a lot but is fine when he actually shows so if he calls, take a deposit
Tony sub fs 03/12 1 - A sub who likes face sitting

Anyone I've seen and liked gets a * and there's even a few who get ** - but if my OH ever asks why I'm going to have to make up something because they're the ones who are REALLY good. Sssssh though, thats secret! :)

R xx

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2285 on: 26 January 2012, 06:37:22 pm »
Got this text at 6.30 tonight

Hi, just about to board my flight, are you near the holiday inn at the airport? Or would you possibly met me there? Sorry for the text but i'm at the check in gate so not the most private place to make a call. This would be for tonight

Yeh sure I'll just drop everything on the strength of one text!

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2286 on: 28 January 2012, 03:17:35 pm »
Stupid Saturdays  >:(

Sometimes it seems putting up AT is an invitation to a vast increase in idiots and TWs.  Stupidly I let it get to me today.  The last straw came when a guy asked was the squirting guaranteed and I said well it almost always happens, look at my feedback if in doubt.

Because I couldn't give a case iron guarantee he backed out.  I stupidly then texted him to say that wasn't the approach to take, that I wasn't a mashine and engaged in a brief round  of 'text wars'. All very polite from me I might add but stupid yes, I normally stop myself from reacting like this!

<<slaps self on wrist

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2287 on: 28 January 2012, 06:18:05 pm »
Stupid Saturdays  >:(

Sometimes it seems putting up AT is an invitation to a vast increase in idiots and TWs.  Stupidly I let it get to me today.  The last straw came when a guy asked was the squirting guaranteed and I said well it almost always happens, look at my feedback if in doubt.

Because I couldn't give a case iron guarantee he backed out.  I stupidly then texted him to say that wasn't the approach to take, that I wasn't a mashine and engaged in a brief round  of 'text wars'. All very polite from me I might add but stupid yes, I normally stop myself from reacting like this!

<<slaps self on wrist

Sometimes it's just so hard not to though isn't it? I don't usually reply to tw(ats), but sometimes it gets the better of me! But sometimes i think it's good to point out what dick heads they are being...you never know it might sink in!

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2288 on: 28 January 2012, 06:37:37 pm »
Stupid Saturdays  >:(

Sometimes it seems putting up AT is an invitation to a vast increase in idiots and TWs.  Stupidly I let it get to me today.  The last straw came when a guy asked was the squirting guaranteed and I said well it almost always happens, look at my feedback if in doubt.

Because I couldn't give a case iron guarantee he backed out.  I stupidly then texted him to say that wasn't the approach to take, that I wasn't a mashine and engaged in a brief round  of 'text wars'. All very polite from me I might add but stupid yes, I normally stop myself from reacting like this!

<<slaps self on wrist

Sometimes it's just so hard not to though isn't it? I don't usually reply to tw(ats), but sometimes it gets the better of me! But sometimes i think it's good to point out what dick heads they are being...you never know it might sink in!

Yes that was my (probably vain) hope too  ;D

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2289 on: 30 January 2012, 09:38:24 pm »
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm

Liverbird

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2290 on: 30 January 2012, 10:30:28 pm »
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm
I've watched a few horse castrations over the years, it looks pretty straightforward really... A little whiff of anaesthesia, a couple of strong stable hands and a HUGE pair of castration forceps... If he insists on the procedure, charge him 'vet's rates...  ;D
W.x

Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2291 on: 31 January 2012, 01:24:40 am »
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm

This sounds very familiar to me... If it is who I'm thinking of he's a complete TW and fantasist with Escorts but apparently a big, regular spender on phone sex lines.
R xx

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2292 on: 31 January 2012, 04:29:30 pm »
I hada very odd client call today, who asked if I engage in roleplay. I asked what the roleplay was, and he said he wanted me to castrate him  :-\ ummm
I've watched a few horse castrations over the years, it looks pretty straightforward really... A little whiff of anaesthesia, a couple of strong stable hands and a HUGE pair of castration forceps... If he insists on the procedure, charge him 'vet's rates...  ;D
W.x

Oh that made me giggle  :-*

SW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2293 on: 31 January 2012, 07:04:22 pm »
Im parked up in my lorry near the police station would you come and have some fun with me later ??? I have a bed in my lorry and curtains so no one will know lol xxxx

What an invitation... shall I bring my own rope and shovel!!  >:(

Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2294 on: 31 January 2012, 08:28:47 pm »
hi i like ur profile and wated to book a session with u if u have time soo can u do watersports and do u any extra charge for that of include in 160 n hour and i like footfetish have u got lots of heels and fetish stuff can u do strap on on me plzz reply me and last think can i take ur piss with in in a bottle if u allow this and did u charge any extra for that or not soo is dat all ervices in 160 n h hour is dat is dat ok or not plzz i am waiting thanx bye
 


 :FF  :FF  :FF

Brings a whole new meaning to a 'Bring a bottle' party....
R xx