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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599074 times)

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2040 on: 22 December 2011, 03:53:42 am »
Quote from: Mellow on 21 December 2011, 11:41:59 pm
Oh dear just got this.......


Hi there. Keep coming back to ur pics adn profile. It al looks fantastic apart form 1 thing: no anal! Can you be persuaded to provided this service for a little extra? Would definitely be interested in meeting up if the answer is yes!  

NO no and ffing No, go and find someone who does do anal you stupid twat!



That made me laugh....needed that lol Thanks x
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Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2041 on: 22 December 2011, 09:18:39 am »
Quote from: kimba on 21 December 2011, 11:59:53 pm
I am sick to death of stray index fingers stabbing rudely at my bottom hole  :P when this has never been discussed or consented upon.
 I mean, I wouldn't mind so much, but they ALWAYS then proceed to swap to my er other hole  without so much as a cursory wipe on a baby wipe!
 Enough!!:-[

I'm glad I'm not the only one this annoys the hell out of.  I'm like.......first please ask, second, use a different finger!

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EvaBeeva

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2042 on: 22 December 2011, 01:20:19 pm »
Quote from: Mellow on 21 December 2011, 11:41:59 pm

Hi there. Keep coming back to ur pics adn profile. It al looks fantastic apart form 1 thing: no anal! Can you be persuaded to provided this service for a little extra? Would definitely be interested in meeting up if the answer is yes!  


 ;D
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Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused

JennyJazz87

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2043 on: 22 December 2011, 01:45:17 pm »
Ok I recently got one where the title was: Lets boldly go...

And the message was:

Quote
where some men have been before.
Im a 53 year old professional male who is fit and health and generally considered to be pleasing on the eye. Im six feet tall, weigh just over fourteen stones and am of medium build. My hair is worn quite short (5 on top, and 2 at the sides) and is 'salt n peppered' (with increasing amounts of salt!).
I would describe my personality as being self assured and confident and I'm equally happy with my own company as well as being with people. I have a job that I really enjoy and lots of interest out of work. In terms of sex, I would describe myself as being extremely passionate, and I enjoy all aspect of very firm and hard fucking. I have a strong libido and enjoy sexual encounters that last and can be savoured.
So, if there is anything that you need to know then please ask me. After reading your profile Im sure that we would have a really satisfying sexual encounter together, and I would be really keen to meet with you. Are all of your enjoys included in your fee, or do some attract an extra fee?
Best wishes.
D. xx


As if I needed to know all that  ::)
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JennyJazz87

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2044 on: 22 December 2011, 01:46:33 pm »
And another one:

Quote
Hi,

Wow, you look incredible. Very, very sexy woman.

I would love to meet up, when are you next available for an in-call?

Me, I'm a 44 yr old guy, very, very high sex drive. Average sized cock, but an expert at giving oral (I promise you the best of your life). I'm a giver in the bedroom and get a huge kick out of making my partner orgasm.

Can't wait to hear from you.

Johnny x

Again I didn't need to know all that.
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"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur!" - George W. Bush

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2045 on: 22 December 2011, 05:16:56 pm »
I've had three clients call up today, asking if I had a female friend in the house who could join in. Ummm no, I don't keep other escorts around just in case ::)
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2046 on: 22 December 2011, 05:52:37 pm »
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 22 December 2011, 05:16:56 pm
I've had three clients call up today, asking if I had a female friend in the house who could join in. Ummm no, I don't keep other escorts around just in case ::)

What? What on earth do you keep in your kitchen cupboards, then?

;D
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Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2047 on: 22 December 2011, 06:23:18 pm »
Very heavily accented wouldbepunter : Do you do sex
Me: Sorry can you repeat that
Very heavily accented wouldbepunter : I see you on internet. Do you do sex
Me: can you please read my profile and call back if I'm suitable

(It then takes five minutes of my repeating this till he understand): but then

VHAwouldbepunterDo you do sex tonight

I hang up after once again requesting him to read my profile.  I then (funnily enough) ignore him when he tries to call back (felt too darn uneasy about the level of communication)

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ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2048 on: 22 December 2011, 07:28:18 pm »
Quote from: EmilyJones on 22 December 2011, 05:52:37 pm
Quote from: ladyjennaj on 22 December 2011, 05:16:56 pm
I've had three clients call up today, asking if I had a female friend in the house who could join in. Ummm no, I don't keep other escorts around just in case ::)

What? What on earth do you keep in your kitchen cupboards, then?

;D

Hahaha! It's unbelievable, isn't it? Does he think there's about 10 of us here, waiting on him? It's amazing how many men ask this  ::)
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MISS RUBY

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2049 on: 22 December 2011, 10:25:35 pm »
ok ladies this one just called recently and asked  if i charged for sex, and did i have facial hair !
west london area  079329766**
have blocked and do contact me for number if required....
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EvaBeeva

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2050 on: 22 December 2011, 11:36:10 pm »
Quote from: sweet jane on 22 December 2011, 07:29:22 pm
to.my.great.loss.

 ;D
Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 22 December 2011, 01:45:17 pm
Lets boldly go... In terms of sex, I would describe myself as being extremely passionate, and I enjoy all aspect of very firm and hard fucking. I have a strong libido and enjoy sexual encounters that last and can be savoured.

Quote from: JennyJazz87 on 22 December 2011, 01:46:33 pm
Average sized cock, but an expert at giving oral (I promise you the best of your life).

Woo hoo!  Lucky you :P
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NorthernIrishNatalie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2051 on: 24 December 2011, 12:37:15 pm »
Last night I was asked if I worked in a brothel. By a guy calling at 2.45am. The same guy queeried why I wasn't available at such a time and then asked if I had any other girls working at that time. I AM NOT A BROTHEL FFS!!!
 I was also repeatedly texted by a complete prat who ignored my requests for him to call to make an appointment. He asked the usual 400million questions by almost illegible texts and then had the sheer audacity to act indignant when I told him to fuck off. He had asked me to give him an outcall to Carrickfergus and then to North Belfast. These are total opposite directions and miles apart. They think we can't tell a time waster from a mile off.
 Natalie Xx
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More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2052 on: 25 December 2011, 09:00:47 am »
I wake up to this gem this morning......

hi babe

id love to bareback you since i have been such a good boy all year

david x

What a treat, yeh of course David, I'll be right along!!

He then sent a follow up email entitled 'Well'.  Needless to say I didn't read it and blocked him!
« Last Edit: 25 December 2011, 09:36:06 am by Mellow »
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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2053 on: 25 December 2011, 09:59:51 am »
Quote from: Mellow on 25 December 2011, 09:00:47 am
I wake up to this gem this morning......

hi babe

id love to bareback you since i have been such a good boy all year

david x

What a treat, yeh of course David, I'll be right along!!

He then sent a follow up email entitled 'Well'.  Needless to say I didn't read it and blocked him!


But it's Christmas.!!! Surely you'll change your mind for David just this once? lmao
what a tw@
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amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #2054 on: 25 December 2011, 06:02:53 pm »
Received at 4.15 this morning (and amazingly, not on Adultwork):

Numpty:

when are you available for an hour and how filthy are you
thanks


Me:

I'm not.
I'm not.
You're welcome.


Numpty:

sorry



Bless 'em  ::).
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