I have found from my clients that it is  sometimes the parlour mentality that makes them speak like that on the first phone call.  With parlours they dont need to introduce themselves, they just ring and ask who is working and go from there.  I have found that many do not realise they are causing offence and actually being quite rude when they speak like this.  Some also have little or no social skills with women (hence the need to book an escort) so have no idea how to go about approaching us on the phone.  They just babble out whatever they are thinking, normally "are you working" or my pet hate "are you open".  It is a combination of nerves and lack of women in their life that make them behave this way and are normally lovely guys once you get past the nerves. 
If someone does approach me this way, I just explain I am not a parlour but an individual and if they would like to ring back and start the conversation again they are more than welcome to.  Many actually do ring back and apologise and end up being really nice clients

Received this last night on AW, I am based in Southampton, gent has no feedback and i swear  i have had an email like this before, any other ladies had similar emails?

Hi,

I?m organising an event for a group of friends and work colleagues and would want you to (i) put on a girl-girl show to the guys for which you would receive an attendance fee; and then (ii) provide lapdances for which you would receive additional money:

Ilfracombe, 8th December, 9p.m. start? 2 girls needed.
Location: posh hotel
?175 attendance fee
plus LapDance revenue at ?20 per dance (which last yr the girls easily made c.?200-250 each from ie ?375 - 425 total)

Torquay, 9th December, 2p.m. start ? 6 girls needed.
Location: sea front bar / nightclub
?150 attendance fee
plus LapDance revenue at ?20 per dance (which last yr the girls easily made c.?200-250 each from ie ?350 - 400 total)

Each event about 50 guys all solicitors, surgeons, accountants, bank managers etc dressed in suits. This is not a rugby club drunken rowdy type event. You?re welcome to phone the venues in advance.

The attendance fee will cover your time getting there and putting on a series of shows with the other girls who are in attendance. These shows to start topless, progress to nude with toys, and finish with a girl-girl show. About 6 shows in total, each 5 to 10 minutes long but each individual girls is probably not involved in all the shows so you might only do say 3 or 4.

In between the shows will be the opportunity to earn substantial cash on top of the attendance fee. This will primarily come from lapdances at ?20 per 6 minute dance. In past years girls have pushed this up to ?40 and ?60/?70 per dance and done very well. Also the odd game e.g., tequila shots without hands off breasts at ?5 per go ? if we run this as a competition e.g., say who can do it fastest it easily makes ?100 which you and the other girls can keep.

Note: no escorting services required.

My objective is to (within reason) have you making lots of money - because that way you?ll be more interested and that will make it more enjoyable for the guys.

Please let me know,
With regards, Simon.

Who would call a random new hairdresser they'd never spoken to before and just go, "Shirley! Hi! How are you?" That would be so odd.
[/quote]

This made me laugh and is so true. It is a little off putting if you accidentally answer your work phone when caught off guard. One of these "friendly types" totally got me on a day off when I answered my work phone in a cafe thinking it was my normal one(they were both black iphones and I got confused). I was sat with my mum and my two friends and this guy really loudly and cheerfully and also sounding very like an old male friend of mine shouted "hello sexy how are ya?". I replied "awww babe I'm good ta and yourself?". Well he says "aye sound, are you working today?". I was at this point also doing a few hours here and there in a civvie job and had a shift that evening. "Not at the minute luv, I'm out having lunch with my mum and friends but I'm working tonight, why what's up?" I still hadn't caught on that it was a client. "Sure that's no good babe I really needed to see you today." I then proceeded to tell him where I was and he should hurry on down and catch us for desert. "Really? You wouldn't mind? Then me and you can go have a quickie i my car?." I laughed and then playfully scolded him with the name of my friend. "Huh? That's not my name. Don't you remember my name after all we only fucked 3 days ago.!" The colour drained from my face as I clicked on to who he was and it was obvious I was shitting it how to get out of this whole awkward scene. I couldn't just get up and hurry out as I had skinny jeans and heels on and the cafe was far to busy for me to fall flat on my face infront of, which inevitably would have happened as I was shaking and going redder by the second. My mum and friends were looking at me as if to say what the feck is going on. I quickly talked over the client and insisted I'd be right with him. I made my excuses, claiming my "friend" was having a major problem and I had to go straight to his. Most awkward day ever and exactly the reason why I HATE friendly callers now! Lol.
 Natalie Xx

Hehehe! Friendly clients always catch me offguard. It's just so unexpected sometimes! 

Not in N.I it's the home of "friendly erm I really dunno what to say when ringing a girl" clients Lol.
   Natalie Xx

Just had a call...   male caller. 12.30 yes?!!!!!
                                      me.. who is this please?
                                      male caller  its me, can i come 12.30 yes>
                                      me,im booked i will call you back !
end calls and puts in block list !!!!!

I've had this one before, but he's made slight modifications to include a FICTIONAL character in one of my pieces of erotica, bless.

I am looking to visit you for a two hour in-call fantasy for a dominant
school girl session. I will confirm a booking on AW if you agree.

I am hoping to see you next week on Wednesday (7th December) at a time you
decide.

Love the following to become true with you please;

I want you to wear just a white buttoned blouse, NO bra, black stockings,
a short dark/black skirt, No knickers or thong, and shoes of your choice.

====================================================
As soon as I arrive, I would give you your money and you would led me to
the room. You would order me to remove my socks and shoes. After counting
this money, you would strip me naked and order onto my knees for you. You
would place my boxer shorts safe place for later.

You would start/cook the ready meal in the microwave. You would continue,
but once this is fully cooked, empty ready meal onto to a plate as to cool
down as not to burn me.

Next you would order me to bend over chair/bed/desk. Once there you would
spank my arse by hand ten times.

After which you would order me to stand up. Next you would untie my hands
at the front and tie my hands behind my back.

Then you would pull me around the place by my worthless cock as and where
you wish. You would stop occasionally ordering me to open my mouth, when
you would spit down my throat or over my face as you wished. I hate being
spat at. When done, you would French-Kiss me for as long as you wish. You
would lead me to the middle of the room for you, my arms at my side and
order me not to move.

You would put 2 clothes pegs on my foreskin of my cock and 2 pegs on the
shaft of my worthless cock. Next Amber would put one clothes peg on each
of my nipples.

You would open a patio door or windows curtains. The drag my body to the
window and press my naked body facing against door/wall/window. You would
press her pert body hard against me and count to at least ten slowly.
Whilst you whisper in my ear whilst she counts how silly I looked and all
your neighbours could se me. I would really hate this. You would pull me
away from the window/door/wall.

When I move away you would close gthe curtain agin. Then order me to stand
in the middle of the room for you both, my arms at my side and not move.
Next you would untie me and remove the clothes pegs.

You would remove her shoes and then stand in front of me and slowly remove
your black skirt and white blouse for me. Then I must stand again the
middle of the room, arms at my side and not move. When done you would
French-Kiss me. When done you, you would blindfold me as that I may not
see.

Next you would stand behind me, press your pert body against me, then
reach around my body and slap my worthless cock hard five times. After
which you would move slowly around to the front of my body, facing me.
Then press your pert body against me and give me a French-Kiss me for as
long as you wished. After which you would bite my bottom lip very hard
three times. Then slowly slide down my body and bite the shaft of my cock
very hard five times. After which you would slap my balls hard ten times,
before finally biting the head of my worthless cock three times.

Next you would put my boxer shorts back on. Order me to lie down in the
middle of the floor or tie me down as that I may not move. You would pour
the warm ready meal into my boxers. Then you would trample in your bare
feet over my boxer shorts crushing all the food. You may feed me or not as
you wish. But I MUST lick your feet clean of any food. Lastly you would
remove my boxers and leave on the floor for later. This is my evening
meal.

Next you would kneel stride my face and then you finger or use a dildo and
pleasure your sweet pussy for me to watch. Before you cum, you would lower
yourself and smoother my face. Ordering me to kiss or lick your sweet
honey as you would want. Make you cum if you wish. When done you would
stand up.

Next you would lie down naked and pour cold food/desserts over your naked
body, especially your pert breasts and belly. Next you would order me to
lick up all of this for her pleasure. When done, you would stand up.

Next you would order me to stand. Next you would stand behind me, press
your pert body against me, then reach around my body and slap my worthless
cock hard five times. After which you would move slowly around to the
front of my body, facing me. Then press your pert body against me and give
me a French-Kiss me for as long as you wished. After which you would bite
my bottom lip very hard three times. Then slowly slide down my body and
bite the shaft of my cock very hard five times. After which you would slap
my balls hard ten times, before finally biting the head of my worthless
cock three times.

You would kneel in front of me and masturbate my cock by hand, bringing me
close to Cumming twice, or as that I could take anymore. BUT NOT MAKE ME
CUM.

Then on your knees in front of my worthless cock, you would (masturbate)
make me cum into your pert mouth. You would catch all my cum in her mouth.
After which you would stand up and French-Kiss me and transfer all cum
into my mouth & ordering me to swallow all of it. I would show my mouth is
empty when done. After which you would spit down my throat.

Next you would dress. Once dressed selotape a choc bar to my cock and
order me stand and replace my boxer shorts and untie me.

Once I am dress and before I leave, you would French-Kiss me twice, whilst
doing so squeeze my cock and the chocolate bar hard. The order me to
leave.
====================================================


Please order me what hot ready-meal, cold desserts and chocolate bar to
buy for this session? What time on Wednesday 07/12? How much?

If it is possible I could change the above to include another slave girl,
if you have anyone who can join you, for any sexual content for you
pleasure.

(I have some selo-tape and six clothes pegs for this.)

I didn't read it as on my profile it quite obviously states that I'm not working right now and also, I reeeeally cba (he appears to have put more effort into this essay than I did with about 85% of my uni coursework), so if anyone else wants to sum it up for me be my guest 

I've had this one before, but he's made slight modifications to include a FICTIONAL character in one of my pieces of erotica, bless.

Quote

I am looking to visit you for a two hour in-call fantasy for a dominant
school girl session. I will confirm-----

I didn't read it as on my profile it quite obviously states that I'm not working right now,
so if anyone else wants to sum it up for me be my guest 

Sure: Fantasist.
based on the length.  I didn't read it either (TLDR)