This forum makes me laugh each post I read. There are some absolute eejits out there.
 I am very prone to receiving texts at stupid o'clock in the morning from young lads high on drugs and clearly from undesirable areas. I really don't know why I attract them. My profile is well written and states I am not into drugs or men who text speak and think they're gangstaa. My duo partner who's profile is badly written and spelt attracts none of this crap. Hhhhmmm.
 Anyway, three weeks at 6.45am.
 Idiot: Sup bbz ne chance iz get a fuck of ye
 Idiot: Mon ova mi huz sxy gat loadsa coke n pills annol
 Idiot then rings and this is the jist of the conversation: FFS luv wize up n stap bein lik dis n we can hav fun mon ova me n seamus r sittin ere on it luvin it
 Me: Sorry but I do not visit anyone who takes drugs and is blatantly advertising that they are on them and offering them.
 Idiot: Awww FFS wee girl mon ni
 ME: Please do not call me untill you have sobered up, washed, found a job and learnt how to speak and spell properly. Goodbye.
 Idiot: Al ring ye tha marra sweetcheeks n ye cum ova n parrttyy wiv us lat
 
Last night on hearing I am going to be back in Belfast for a few days I get the same guy who has been trying to book me for weeks calling me about an appointment tonight.
 Potential client/chancer: Hiya hunni I'm glad to hear you're home for a few days. My Gf is off work at the moment and is available to meet with us tomorrow night. Seeing as we have been meaning to meet for weeks and you haven't been able to you'll see us both for ?100 for the hour won't ya?
 Me: We haven't been able to meet as you last minute canceled the three bookings you'd made with me then on attempting to book again for the another night were informed I had moved to England. So it was not my fault. And besides I charge ?150 per hour for you alone, you're Gf ontop would be ?220.
 
I have had guys offering me xbox's, signed football shirts, pure breed puppies and all sorts instead of a cash payment for my services. The worst I think are guys who book for a half hour and ask if it's ok if they stay over the time. A few minutes I am not going to overally grumble about but when they say how about I stay an extra 20 minutes plus. Oh pleasseeeee. How about I cut your booking short by 20 minutes. Nope thought not.
    Natalie Xx

Ewww, that turned my stomach!