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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599693 times)

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1575 on: 04 September 2011, 05:55:45 pm »
Heres the text of a guy who emailed me today


Hi,

I have just read your profile and you sound and look amazing!

Are you free today as I would like to come see you and can you do anything on your rates?

Thanks
B

Bloody cheek my rates are my rates! He will not be hearing from me needless to say....
 

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1576 on: 04 September 2011, 09:57:05 pm »
Just now on cam...I'm still giggling.... ;D

HIM: want a toy boy x
CatBBW: hi
CatBBW: what you looking for :)
HIM: i want a fuck buddie x
CatBBW: I'm sure you'll find one soon :)
HIM: i want u as mine
CatBBW: I already have 2
CatBBW: you tried the freesex and dating sites?
HIM: have me 2 x
CatBBW: I don't have time for another, babe
HIM: oh ok.
HIM: ive got 10 inch cock
CatBBW: have you got ?150?

HIM leaves the room



Best laff I've had all day :D :D

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1577 on: 04 September 2011, 11:15:35 pm »
...and a delicious email just in...

"play wiv ya shitter, hun ?"


MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! Hold me back, my juices are a-flowing!!

TSgirl

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1578 on: 04 September 2011, 11:17:28 pm »
First post here, so hello all! Great resource this.

I received this today...

"hi i have ?5o would you visit as soon as poss thanks"

Never met or corresponded before...

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1579 on: 04 September 2011, 11:23:44 pm »
First post here, so hello all! Great resource this.

I received this today...

"hi i have ?5o would you visit as soon as poss thanks"

Never met or corresponded before...


Hi, welcome! :) Your fan sounds delicious, HOW could you resist :D ;D

A tasty reply for me would be "so you only want a 5 minute booking??"  8)

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1580 on: 04 September 2011, 11:32:28 pm »
First post here, so hello all! Great resource this.

I received this today...

"hi i have ?5o would you visit as soon as poss thanks"

Never met or corresponded before...


I got a text from someone I'd seen before but he spelled his NAME wrong so I didn't answer, immediately. He wanted to pay less ?? so I offered less time, but I was too late for him. I think I posted about this already...
Next day, another text, much more polite, but...

He: "What can you do for ?60?"
 
I: "Not even leave my flat."

He: "Okay. It never hurts to ask."

I: (silently and with the use of my finger, but not the telephone keypad) "We'll just see about that, won't we?"

Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1581 on: 05 September 2011, 01:24:02 am »
Ive had my phone off all weekend and had these texts arriving every hour or so. Believe it or not they make a lot more sense than the message he left on the answerphone...
Does he win?

R xx

I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1582 on: 05 September 2011, 01:55:24 am »
OMFG Rooby - send him my way, I am IN LOVE!!!  :o


(seriously pmsl here!!!!)

Sweet-Pleasure

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1583 on: 05 September 2011, 01:45:59 pm »
Him:
Quote
can you do 15 for ?20 today at 4?

Me:
Quote
Nope

why can't they all be that simple?

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1584 on: 05 September 2011, 02:11:21 pm »
I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU

Oh my god he's a like a drunk oversexed Tellytubby!

Pearl

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1585 on: 05 September 2011, 02:26:39 pm »
I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU

At this point, I think that there is not competition,
we can declare him as the winner of "How not to book an escort"

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1586 on: 05 September 2011, 02:40:22 pm »
That's what I thought! - Still, at least it wasn't your face eh? ( Had that before!  :P )

I had a guy who wanted me to lick his neck and he wanted to lick mine it was horrid I had to refuse it once he started lol  :-X

Empathy.
Saturday I had a client who kept licking my face and kept trying to stick his tongue in my right ear!
Just yuk!

Our feelings would confuse the general public:
ie. "You are intimate with random strangers, but you find it icky if they try something
which in comparison (relatively speaking) is inconsequential."

It's called our boundary's and is essential for our mental well-being.

Kinky By Nature

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1587 on: 05 September 2011, 02:46:35 pm »
Ive had my phone off all weekend and had these texts arriving every hour or so. Believe it or not they make a lot more sense than the message he left on the answerphone...
Does he win?

R xx

I want appointment tomorrow i like big gril my name xxx wat size u
hy i take u numar internet i want wisit u my name xxx from london
ring my numar nau
i come tmorow i live angel ol
when i come
you come me nau
give me app i come now
when
when you come london keep my numar call me ok
when when when
gut morning u want i come 12am i live kings coross
sorry i push wrong buton text i come to u agaian baceau i want to delete txt i push wrong buton sory wat size u
when i com
sory ruby
come nau i good
when i come or you come me i live angel come nau
wat size u
i lik wery fat wat size girl u
u nau london
when u come
when
u visit me now
when u working
come visit me nau NAU

Hi,
Is this person's name Ali? I had this bloke harassing me since last Wednesday and if he continues I'm going to report him.
He had called asking for a booking but then he wanted me to "send him details", which I assume means he wanted the address of my work flat. I told him I work at Earl's Court but something didn't feel right with him and I never text back anything.
From then on until yesterday he's been texting and calling me. On Saturday I finished a booking at Heathrow to switch my phone on to this, "Fuck u, way u not answer black monkey fuck off".  I text him back and said thank you for that message, I've tucked it away in my folder for when I report you to the police.

His messages are as follows:
I want wisit u i like big gril my name Ali send text to me i take ur numar internet sory i nau in bus
I wait detael t.row 11am ok u live early court
Gut morning u want i come 11.am aerly court yes
Call me morning
I come ok
It was at this time that I told him that I didn't want to see him, to please stop calling me as he was getting a bit obesessive. He then says:

Sory wat problem
Way u not want
Wat wrong u working i pay u money i am costume r for ***** she working bbw i give gut services i near u address.
Gut morning how are u i want wisit u plaes
i working aerlycourt kebab shop i want come 11.am ok
way u not answer
Fuck off way u not answer black monkey fuck off (it was then when I said I'd report him to the police)
i call u way u not answer i am not rascit i like all pepol sory befor i send text if u not work tough me i call u more time u not answer sory befor text i.am not rascit ok call me
I tough sory
Bilev me i like u if i dont like u way i call u i want visit u sory for befor ok call me
Realy sory bilev me i like u any mistake sory i.am not racsit sory

(Then two missed calls on Saturday night at 11pm then again at 12am)

This on yesterday morning:
Gut morning how are u when i wisit u

Inbetween this there was also missed calls, some when my phone was switched on. Some people seem not to know when to take no for an answer. My instincts were right and I'm glad I listened to them. I would've felt sick if I had seen him.
If he does persist I will report him to the police.


River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1588 on: 05 September 2011, 02:48:22 pm »
can you do anything on your rates?

Bloody cheek my rates are my rates!

We all get those via text or phone.
I usually reply:
Discount? OK
?1 off.
They quickly get the message
and I then deliberately sound confused as to why they were not bowed over by my simply huge reduction.   ;D
« Last Edit: 23 January 2017, 05:18:08 pm by River »

Ellie_e

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1589 on: 05 September 2011, 03:12:46 pm »
That's what I thought! - Still, at least it wasn't your face eh? ( Had that before!  :P )

I had a guy who wanted me to lick his neck and he wanted to lick mine it was horrid I had to refuse it once he started lol  :-X

Empathy.
Saturday I had a client who kept licking my face and kept trying to stick his tongue in my right ear!
Just yuk!

Our feelings would confuse the general public:
ie. "You are intimate with random strangers, but you find it icky if they try something
which in comparison (relatively speaking) is inconsequential."

It's called our boundary's and is essential for our mental well-being.

I once had a client who spent a good amount of time licking out the insides of my nostrils
 :-X
« Last Edit: 05 September 2011, 11:42:46 pm by Ellie_e »