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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599753 times)

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1530 on: 26 August 2011, 11:23:22 am »
Oh my god, that's hilarious  :D

xw5

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1531 on: 26 August 2011, 12:40:12 pm »
The main problem I'd see is the risk that if he 'won' the first time, he wouldn't come back again.

I am not in any way a 'good' magician, but if you played this with me, then amazingly enough the empty envelope would be picked every time. This sort of thing is basic magic, so I would say your main problem is that you end up shagging a magician for free...

I think I can see how to set this one up so that you get the money any time you want it*. So if anyone wants to offer me a commission...

* Yeah, yeah, but winning every time is a) a bit greedy and b) very suspicious!
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Winding down YourEscortSite.com

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1532 on: 26 August 2011, 04:44:37 pm »
Booking request by phone. Very nice. Calls back to confirm... Cool.
I can't hear him after a bit so he offers to text.
He does, and wants to change neighborhood. ...okay. Ask for landline and address.
"Can't do it, I have a family. We will have to improvise."
to which I respond, "What do you mean by improvise? I need a landline and address to give to my security contact, not to have a chat. ;)."
His response. "We'll be in public."
Mine. "Having sex?"
Him: "In my car."
Mine: "In that case, no. I don't do carmeets. I wish you'd specified that at the beginning."


stay tuned.
« Last Edit: 28 August 2011, 05:09:43 pm by Your Tera »

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1533 on: 26 August 2011, 06:18:54 pm »
This beauty waiting for me in my AW inbox today:

i could see you today before 6, providing you could

1) wear a sleeveless vest/tshirt
2) wear a tight smelly+dirty+sweaty bra
3) allow me to lick your armpits
4) you happy to lick and suck my balls
5) allow me to fuck you at least 2 times and one wank over your tits and have shower with me again, you massaging and cleaning my balls and cock and me massaging and cleaning your whole body.

let me know,
xxx


Funnily enough, it's the first sentence which pisses me off the most, the rest I could probably handle  :)


Urgh...it's the second one that would have me pressing delete/block.

Sometimes no matter what the money , I'd rather starve and he's a prime example.




Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1534 on: 27 August 2011, 02:33:19 pm »
"we r 2 frnds coming to London on 10 sept.We nee MMF sex.If u r ok then plz provode details of u"

So tempting! I'm not working that day and I dont offer appointments for two people - but seeing as you asked SO nicely...!

R xx

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1535 on: 27 August 2011, 03:25:11 pm »
"we r 2 frnds coming to London on 10 sept.We nee MMF sex.If u r ok then plz provode details of u"

So tempting! I'm not working that day and I dont offer appointments for two people - but seeing as you asked SO nicely...!

R xx

Hope they're coming to London for some English language lessons!

Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1536 on: 27 August 2011, 04:21:19 pm »
It must be my day for them. This has just arrived...

"Good morning,im french  i will come to london very soon and i am a follower of trampling that i am used Practice since long lasting fog fluid,I would like to know if you agree Step on my body,sorry for my bad english ^^ ,Hoping a reply kiss."

I can deal with the poor English as its far better than my French, but I cannot fathom what the hell 'fog fluid' might be  ???

R xx

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1537 on: 27 August 2011, 04:34:29 pm »
It must be my day for them. This has just arrived...

"Good morning,im french  i will come to london very soon and i am a follower of trampling that i am used Practice since long lasting fog fluid,I would like to know if you agree Step on my body,sorry for my bad english ^^ ,Hoping a reply kiss."

I can deal with the poor English as its far better than my French, but I cannot fathom what the hell 'fog fluid' might be  ???

R xx

lmao  ...nope that's baffled me too!

Kiko

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1538 on: 27 August 2011, 06:20:56 pm »
Fog fluid??? Er...?
I am not selling sex! I'm selling condoms with free demonstration!

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1539 on: 27 August 2011, 08:13:31 pm »
I think I can see how to set this one up so that you get the money any time you want it*. So if anyone wants to offer me a commission...

* Yeah, yeah, but winning every time is a) a bit greedy and b) very suspicious!

and c) serves the cheeky git right..

Ace

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1540 on: 28 August 2011, 06:28:09 pm »
Yes of course, repeatedly calling and texting me after I made it clear that I don't offer "sex" in sessions and saying "are you crazy boy?? I want sex wiv u!" in a message is exactly how to book a pro dom >.<

eejits! >:(

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1541 on: 28 August 2011, 08:01:36 pm »
Yes of course, repeatedly calling and texting me after I made it clear that I don't offer "sex" in sessions and saying "are you crazy boy?? I want sex wiv u!" in a message is exactly how to book a pro dom >.<

eejits! >:(

ha ha ha:-)

I just had an idiot call me and I said I'm at the carnival and then having a quiet night at home with my sons. He said ok...but then sent a text saying..."Can you just squeeze me in for an hour, I'll book a hotel right next to where you live so you can pop out without your sons knowing" lmao
Hmmm, think if we're all sat watching a movie and sharing a bowl of popcorn they may just notice me get dolled up and disappear for an hour or two!
As you said...eejits!


ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1542 on: 28 August 2011, 08:23:23 pm »
Hahaha!
I took the weekend off and when I turned on my work phone, I had loads of messages telling me off for taking time off. Apparently it inconveniences them and I shouldn't do it :-X

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1543 on: 28 August 2011, 09:11:35 pm »
Had to switch cam off tonight, full day of wasters, began with my first visitor saying "fuck you" and leaving (that was all he said, no greeting or chit chat) and I ended my cam day with zero earnings and after this delightful convo:

(and yes, that below really is what he was calling himself!)
BigBlackScaryRapist:  "what u wearing"
Me: *double clicking connection ready to KICK PERMANENTLY* "white top and black panties"
BigBlackScaryRapist: "looks blu 2 me"
Me: "OK it looks blue on your screen :) "
BigBlackScaryRapist: "fuck dis shit"

*KICKED*


Waste of time and huge annoyances on there today for me.

sweet jane

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1544 on: 28 August 2011, 09:24:14 pm »
^^^^
thank you Cat for taking away the guilt I was feeling for not logging in tonight.

on another note received this gem of an email:

'Subject: hello
-----------------------------------------------------------------
hi sweety can you fuck me hard in ass?'

so tempting  ::)  'sweety'??