Wierd one..

14/07/11

Text 1 @ 01:47am..Hi there! I realise it is late and you have said not to text (no i didnt just generic AW message that no one usually reads). Just wondered on the off chance you were awake and up for a outcall in the west end? X

I cam till 2am and sometimes do go out late but it's always down to how I feel of course.  I would have ignored message as there was no way i was going out but thought it's polite enough I'll text back saying sorry, it is too late maybe another time..

which should have been fair enough I felt?.. nope

Text 2: Really Even for a quick 30 minutes (yes really seeing as my mins 1 hour - i ignored )

Text 3: Will pay for an hour of fun! You look amazing. (funny at that time my rate is min 1 hour + ?30  )

Note I only ever responded to the first text and at this point turn my phone off

In the morning, when I put it back on again, I get:

Text 4: So no chance at all?? Like I said you look awesome!!! I would love to fuck you so much X

Text 5: ? (dont you just hate those ones? )

Text 6: Sorry didnt mean to come on sexually strong there. Was just blown away by you profile. Like I said in the west end. Willing to pay fo an hour or more anyway X x (sexually stong?! wtf? lol)

Of course he just talked himself to the ignore list. Why i have added this guy is I am completely baffled by this:

Text 7 15/07/11: Hi sorry about the delay, Live in west end just near Ashton lane. Have noticed that your 5.11 though.. and im only a short ss!

At first I thought it must have be meant for someone else but that is my height?! (on a side note why do guys think this matters to us??). Guys are very odd 

Wierd one..

14/07/11

Text 1 @ 01:47am..Hi there! I realise it is late and you have said not to text (no i didnt just generic AW message that no one usually reads). Just wondered on the off chance you were awake and up for a outcall in the west end? X

I cam till 2am and sometimes do go out late but it's always down to how I feel of course.  I would have ignored message as there was no way i was going out but thought it's polite enough I'll text back saying sorry, it is too late maybe another time..

which should have been fair enough I felt?.. nope

Text 2: Really Even for a quick 30 minutes (yes really seeing as my mins 1 hour - i ignored )

Text 3: Will pay for an hour of fun! You look amazing. (funny at that time my rate is min 1 hour + ?30  )

Note I only ever responded to the first text and at this point turn my phone off

In the morning, when I put it back on again, I get:

Text 4: So no chance at all?? Like I said you look awesome!!! I would love to fuck you so much X

Text 5: ? (dont you just hate those ones? )

Text 6: Sorry didnt mean to come on sexually strong there. Was just blown away by you profile. Like I said in the west end. Willing to pay fo an hour or more anyway X x (sexually stong?! wtf? lol)

Of course he just talked himself to the ignore list. Why i have added this guy is I am completely baffled by this:

Text 7 15/07/11: Hi sorry about the delay, Live in west end just near Ashton lane. Have noticed that your 5.11 though.. and im only a short ss!

At first I thought it must have be meant for someone else but that is my height?! (on a side note why do guys think this matters to us??). Guys are very odd 

Think this guy put out a reverse booking last night on AW....at 3am......Just said...anyone awake, I'm horny, hotel in Marylebone! I looked at it at 2.30 and laughed...and 5 mins later there were 4 people bidding!!! Madness!

Coty xxx

Think this guy put out a reverse booking last night on AW...

Unlikely same guy we're in Glasgow lol 

That IS odd! It's like he thought he had actually made a booking with all his texts and perhaps hadn't noticed that you'd long since stopped replying? Perhaps he's still sitting in his living room now waiting for you to turn up, completely mystified and wondering whether it's his height that put you off?

Even odder he has since texted me twice more going on about his height and is that a problem!? 

I only ever replied to the very first text saying no sorry too late, thats it lol

message received on aw "Hi I am just wondering if you would like a cheap regular escort. I am very willing to go lower than my online price. Please message back your answer. Thanks Owen xx"

lmao my reply was "sorry i dont pay for sex"

to which he said "It's ok it's just business is really slow no money and you are someone I'd really like to have sex with "

oh well that case let me run and go get my purse! NOT

message received on aw "Hi I am just wondering if you would like a cheap regular escort. I am very willing to go lower than my online price. Please message back your answer. Thanks Owen xx"

lmao my reply was "sorry i dont pay for sex"

to which he said "It's ok it's just business is really slow no money and you are someone I'd really like to have sex with "

oh well that case let me run and go get my purse! NOT

Pmsl. That's a new one! xx

Message on AW this morning,

'Hi, I am writing to ask you if you would be interested in personal training at your home or in a local park, I specialise in crossfit which is starting to take off in the UK and I would highly recommend it for achieving goals around strength and muscle toning, to feel good in yourself and to feel like you have properly accomplished something from exercise. Move away from complicated machines and isolated movements and try functional fitness which is better for you, natural and gives you a better workout. For more information or for a complimentary session please get in touch.'

Kind regards

Mr deluded

I think he may be somewhat confused? Maybye he thinks AW is a health and fitness forum? Then I went to his profile and there was the obligatory, 'Love length at the ready' picture so apparently not 

Oh and I would love to know what happens at the end of my 'complimentary' session? Maybe a quick BJ to reward him for all his selfless, hard work?

I got that one, too! I thought maybe he intended his complimentary training session to involve exercising his clients' vaginas.

Hmmm. Did he give the name J***** T***? Or the number 077760970**? Or the email jatait12**@h******.com?

...lest he get cross with me for trying to use my crazy, illogical ladybrain to help him.

Smiles!