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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599112 times)

Kayci

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1185 on: 19 June 2011, 07:41:32 pm »
Just had a email from a guy called Craig in North London who claims he is starting a agency blah blah.  Hope no one falls for it!  I told him jog-on and that i have added him to spamlist.  When i did that i lost the email otherwise i would post it in all the sections think his username is LIKELYLAD from memory.

Kayci X x
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LeticiaMorgan

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1186 on: 20 June 2011, 01:36:57 pm »
Quote from: JodieTs on 19 June 2011, 12:48:00 pm
Withheld number: Hi.  I'd like to see you; do you offer bareback?
Jodie Bareback anal sex?
Withheld number: Yes please
Jodie Sure, but I HAVE to tell you that I have full blown AIDS
Withheld number: Pardon?
Jodie I'm legally obliged to  inform you, as the last seven clients who had anal bareback sex with me, all died of AIDS caught from me
Withheld number: Are you taking the piss?
Jodie You started it.

Oh Jodie! ROFLMAO!
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Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1187 on: 20 June 2011, 06:42:14 pm »
"Hi is that Anika?"
Yes it is.
"Are you happy to see couples?"
Yep, that's fine.
"Are you ok with facials?"
No I don't do that. It says so on my services page.
"Oh well it's just that my girlfriend squirts a lot, and I know she's keen to come on your face."

Wow, really? Well in that case my tight pussy is getting wet already thinking about all the hot sticky lesbian girl-spunk your completely real girlfriend is going to deposit on my face! Mmmm. Yeah. Bring it on, big boy.
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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1188 on: 20 June 2011, 08:03:39 pm »
Quote from: Anika Mae on 20 June 2011, 06:42:14 pm
"Hi is that Anika?"
Yes it is.
"Are you happy to see couples?"
Yep, that's fine.
"Are you ok with facials?"
No I don't do that. It says so on my services page.
"Oh well it's just that my girlfriend squirts a lot, and I know she's keen to come on your face."

Wow, really? Well in that case my tight pussy is getting wet already thinking about all the hot sticky lesbian girl-spunk your completely real girlfriend is going to deposit on my face! Mmmm. Yeah. Bring it on, big boy.

you know what I've just recently removed the option of couples from my profile as all it attracted was idiots! I met one very sweet couple and thats it.  ::)
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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1189 on: 20 June 2011, 10:00:59 pm »
"Hello,
Am Susana, I am an africa girl, I read your profile today at (www.captain69.co.uk) It was so good to me. I feel you are the only one missing in my entered life so i desided to stop on it and let you know that i am interested to be a friend first, please contact me at my email adress ( susanayake0@overtherainbow ) I am a girl with respect and responsible, I respect people also and believe if you contact me, I will give you a full introduction of my self okay. Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life cares for my future love.( susanayake0@overtherainbow )"

I know we all get these spam email from Africa regardless of work email or personal but seriously she got me from captain69!?!?! Whats that all about!  :o
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Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1190 on: 20 June 2011, 10:54:31 pm »
Just email harvesting I suppose, with the name of the site attached to make the message marginally more convincing.
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pandora

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1191 on: 21 June 2011, 09:07:02 am »
Text received yesterday

"Hi I have your number but I do not know who you are, text back".

Of course I will!

I then had 4 missed calls from this man who is desperate to know who I am. Loser.
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Dionne

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1192 on: 23 June 2011, 03:12:03 pm »
aw message just received

"good afternoon, it has been a while for me so i was wondering if you would be willing to offer a 5 min hand relief for ?10 hope this does not offend you?"

my fifteen minute quickie is ?45...............
you do the math
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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1193 on: 23 June 2011, 03:46:22 pm »
Quote from: Dionne on 23 June 2011, 03:12:03 pm
aw message just received

"good afternoon, it has been a while for me so i was wondering if you would be willing to offer a 5 min hand relief for ?10 hope this does not offend you?"

my fifteen minute quickie is ?45...............
you do the math


I just got this  ::)

"Could you do say just a handjob or just a blowjob for a cheaper price?
very much like to book but will not have spare ?100"
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Dionne

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1194 on: 23 June 2011, 03:51:18 pm »
LMAO how funny would it be if it was the same guy?? im in gloucester your in scotland... just how long was he planning to travel for his ten minutes of passion??
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sara1980

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1195 on: 23 June 2011, 05:28:06 pm »

Call earlier on.....

'The Negotiator!' - Are you open for negotiations?
Moi - No
'The Negotiator!' I have blue eyes and I'm fit though!
Moi - Hmmmm - I may be interested  ;)
'The Negotiator!' (Sounding quite excited by now) Really? So if I paid ?40 for half an hour would that be ok?
Moi - How about ?55?
'The Negotiator!' But your profile states ?50? Is ?40 ok?
Moi - ?60 would be better......
'The Negotiator!' Eh?
Moi - ?65 and it's a deal......
'The Negotiator!'..... Hung up

Hmmmm - Don't think that was quite what he had in mind  ;D

Quiet day so felt like some fun lol

God Jodie - I hope to hell I get a call like that one, or even for someone to say 'Are you taking the piss' - Just so I can use your line 'You started it' ROFPMSL xx
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Sweet-Pleasure

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1196 on: 24 June 2011, 07:18:22 am »
Got these charming texts last night when I was out, I think I will politely decline his offer, but he doesn't seem picky so if anyone else wants him feel free!

These entries are the same as the texts but with the names and places changed to protect the idiotic

23/06 18.11 -HELLO BABE MY NAME IS WANKER I JUST SHOE YOU NOW BUT JUST GOT MY PHONE WORKING AGAIN          I DECIDED I WILL TEXT YOU FOR NOW       I WANT TO SEE MEET YOU IN CARLISLE             I BELIEVE YOUR A WORKING GIRL PROSTITUTE SO I WANT TO MEET YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY AT THE MORON CLUB IN MY IMAGINATION AT 130PM AFTERNOON TIME      I WILL TAKE YOU FOR A DRINK AND BACK TO MY FLAT           FOR SEX          S      WILL YOU COME        WHATS YOUR NAMEHOW OLD ARE YOU WANKER WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY

23/06 18.55 - ARE YOU BASED LIVE IN CARLISLE BABE I WAS TOLD YOU ARE FROM NEWCASTLE BUT I HOPE LIVE IN CARLISLE MAKES NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE I WANT TO SEE MEET YOU IN CARLISLE NEXT WEDNESDAY AT THE MORON CLUB IN MY IMAGINATION AT 130PM AFTERNOON TIME AND I WILL GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER RELAX AND DRINKS FOR YOU AND BACK TO MY FLAT OR HOTEL         OK         TEXT ME BACK NOW AND TELL ME YOU ARE COMING I MUST LOOM BY TONIGHT AM A MARRIED MAN BUT I WANT YOU BABE      WOR MY NAME IS WANKER I TEXT YOU BEFORE                 WANKER

23/06 20.19 WELL ARE OU GOING TO TEXT ME BACK ABOUT MEETING ME THEN            OR ARE YOU AN ANGENCY   FOR         GIRLS     WELL SEND ME A GIRL THEN MY NAME IS WANKER

23/06 20.58 - DO YOU WANT TO MEET ME FOR SEX AT MY HOTEL IN CARLISLE YES    MY NAME IS WANKER

23/06 20.59 - BY THE WAY I PAY GOOD MONEY TO YOU WANKER TEXT ME NOW AND TELL ME       WHEN DO YOU WAN TO MEET UP MEET ME            YES

24/06 01.31 - I NEED A SEXY GIRL SENT TO ME I PAY GOOD MONEY FOR A SEXY GIRL WANKER



Actually after re reading the texts I don't think I can resist him! Pass me my coat!
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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1197 on: 24 June 2011, 11:39:18 am »
Quote from: MissArcaBunny on 24 June 2011, 07:18:22 am
Got these charming texts last night when I was out, I think I will politely decline his offer, but he doesn't seem picky so if anyone else wants him feel free!

Actually after re reading the texts I don't think I can resist him! Pass me my coat!

Urgh...they actually turned my stomach.
Can see why you can't resist...even if you have to go from Newcastle to Carlisle, it would so be worth it! lol

Coty x
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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1198 on: 24 June 2011, 11:42:04 am »
"HiHope you are well.

I have seen your advert on AW and would like to book an appointment for
today. However, I noticed you do not do in calls ?
If you do I would love to see you today"

Hmmm...no I don't! That's why it says OUT CALLS ONLY in big letters!
Another idiot with an IQ of 3

Coty x



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Steele

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1199 on: 24 June 2011, 02:21:57 pm »
Quote
Hi! I?m 25. I have a condition known as ?semen leakage? in which I involuntarily and continuously eject drops of watery cum. It also impaired my penis growth so is only 2.7inches and which NEVER ERECTS. If I try to make it erect, in never does but instead STRARTS TWITCHING in excitement and starts ejaculating more, stream of cum drops. It twitches about once in two seconds and with every twitch, ejects few watery cum drops. So I cannot cum in single load, but keep twitching and ejecting cum drops.
Above I have well told you my problems: small penis with no erection, twitching and continuous stream of cum drops. And for this I never tried sex before but I do get excited for sex, so like to try it for first time. I am not sure whether I will be able to do sex but if you are ok to see me, will you give oral without a condom, as it continuously drips cum? I think it won?t be a problem if you keep a glass and keep spitting in it? AND will you be fine if I try penetrating with a flaccid and soft penis, if I?m able to?
Thanks for your time and understandings and kindly if you can give an answer here first, I?ll be then happy to call if they are affirmative.

I don't offer OWO, and I'm assuming he's asking for bareback as well given that it's pretty much impossible to get a condom on a totally flaccid penis. Idiot.
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Previously known as Krystal Champagne
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