sent at 1.49am: Are you available now?
Idiot at 2.47am: Hello? Are you available now?
Idiot at 3.01am: I want to come and see you now, why aren't you answering?
Me at 8am when I turn the phone on: because I was sleeping like a normal person. Do you think we sit dressed up 24/7, never needing to eat or sleep?
Idiot:....You should be ready for me. Be ready next time.
There won't be a first time or a next time, dickhead.
