You couldn't make it up Braziliana! Fancy having that chimp walking into your flat.

Lol, haha!
I just noticed this too:

...Then asks where I am, I tell him to read the 'note'...

You jumped at this delightful offer, yes, MG?

I'm a cock hungry hoe so small dicks are off putting. Lol
I literally have anxiety when peeing in public. I just can't do it. When I had a job I would go in the disabled loos because I can't pee if someone is overhearing me. I am a weirdo.

Then he’d probably want to lick it off his fingers. *Horks.* Blarghhhhhhhhh.🤮🤢

Vomit 😅

"don't want sex I don't believe in using a woman like that. I'm looking for a girl to enjoy coke n drink and play owo fetish etc, does that fit you?"

Um nope. I make clear absolutely no intoxicants of any kind.

How is he using us exactly? We're getting paid 

How is he using us exactly? We're getting paid 

Exactly. Unless he didn't want to pay, get me high and attack me. I don't do drugs but I certainly wouldn't do them late at night with a stranger.

Hey babe you free?

Yep..

How much?

Prices etc on the profile. Have a read please.

Have you got a deal on?

Yeah, it’s £50 a min for dickheads who haven’t read the profile

A prospective client claimed he was dyslexic and could not read block texts so did not know I did not work weekends and evenings

He said I should be more understanding of special needs.

My profile does have my hours in bold type very clearly at the top of my profile. Laziness if you ask me.  Either that or 50 per cent of men are dyslexic lol.