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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2664456 times)

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #900 on: 03 March 2011, 01:07:55 pm »
From an existing client:
"I am modeling my home in Stevenage
on your set up
with the same coloured curtains
or near enough on your home"

If  I stop posting for a significant period,
you can find me hidden in his apartment behind the plasterboard wall.   :o
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Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #901 on: 03 March 2011, 01:19:46 pm »
Quote from: JodieTs on 03 March 2011, 01:07:55 pm
From an existing client:
"I am modeling my home in Stevenage
on your set up
with the same coloured curtains
or near enough on your home"

If  I stop posting for a significant period,
you can find me hidden in his apartment behind the plasterboard wall.   :o

Oh my f**king christ! I have nothing more to add except this face  :o :o :o!!!!!!!!
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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #902 on: 03 March 2011, 01:46:51 pm »
Quote from: JodieTs on 03 March 2011, 01:07:55 pm
From an existing client:
"I am modeling my home in Stevenage
on your set up
with the same coloured curtains
or near enough on your home"

If  I stop posting for a significant period,
you can find me hidden in his apartment behind the plasterboard wall.   :o

 :o "plays the psycho theme tune in my head"  :o
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Lolo

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #903 on: 03 March 2011, 08:26:54 pm »

"well hello there......i am sorry my first time...contacting an escort...hence the jitters....not looking for a any sex or nudity.......live close to city centre...just wondering...cost of 15 mintue of drive with me.....during day time.....just maybe have a coffee together inthe car....or if you smoke....then smoke a cig...maybe hold hands and kiss...with some fondling. ???????// kindly let me know......."

regards

Would love to know how 'jitters' can be translated into an email, maybe that explains all the strange punctuation?



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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #904 on: 03 March 2011, 08:35:49 pm »
Quote from: Lolo on 03 March 2011, 08:26:54 pm

"well hello there......i am sorry my first time...contacting an escort...hence the jitters....not looking for a any sex or nudity.......live close to city centre...just wondering...cost of 15 mintue of drive with me.....during day time.....just maybe have a coffee together inthe car....or if you smoke....then smoke a cig...maybe hold hands and kiss...with some fondling. ???????// kindly let me know......."

regards

Would love to know how 'jitters' can be translated into an email, maybe that explains all the strange punctuation?





Thats interesting.. lol in a creepy way

Must say though, you've got too love guys idea of time and how much you can fit in it lol always cracks me up  ;D
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #905 on: 03 March 2011, 09:35:07 pm »
Quote from: Friday on 03 March 2011, 08:35:49 pm
Must say though, you've got too love guys idea of time and how much you can fit in it lol always cracks me up  ;D

So true! I had a request a short while back for a roleplay to begin in a coffeeshop and result in me, pretending my hardest not to be a hooker, dragging him back to mine for totally-not-prearranged-and-paid-for sex, presumably after having coffee together and chatting each other up and whatnot - and all this was supposed to happen within my half hour incall fee. I told him it would be +?50 for it being an outcall, +?50 for roleplay not being a service I offer and +?50 for the extra time all this gallivanting about would take. He decided to go for a proper 30 minute incall after all. ;D

There have been more but I think that guy was the only one to handle my email retort with good grace! He turned out to just be a bit innocent about all this paying for it business, bless his heart.
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xw5

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #906 on: 03 March 2011, 10:04:44 pm »
Quote from: EmilyJones on 03 March 2011, 09:35:07 pm
I had a request a short while back for a roleplay to begin in a coffeeshop and result in me, pretending my hardest not to be a hooker, dragging him back to mine for totally-not-prearranged-and-paid-for sex, presumably after having coffee together and chatting each other up and whatnot - and all this was supposed to happen within my half hour incall fee.

! This is obviously the male equivalent of the little girl's wish list that ends with '.. and a pony!'
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'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #907 on: 04 March 2011, 06:10:22 pm »
Quote from: Friday on 28 February 2011, 04:10:14 pm
Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha   ;D  ::)

Hey fellow escort...

I have a special favour to ask.

I was wondering what the chances are of you and I meeting and simply indulging in one another no costs/envelopes involved...? Shocked!?

Well I saw your profile I am turned on and I am extremely horny, very simple!

No catches just simple sex - tonight ideally

I can accomdate in my lovely southisde flat and I cannot wait to hear from you.

x

Yeah keep waiting pal!


you wont believe it! I didnt even respond to this tit and today got this:


Hi, do you do outcalls? I'm looking to bump up my rating so let me know if you could come round tonight. I'm looking for you to come into my house, suck me off to completion then leave. Simple as that lol x

Ps, what's your number?

1) he's 18 so he's got no chance, paying or otherwise
2) "bump up his rating" He hides his feedback - genius
3) I only do outcalls
4) my number is on my profile
5) he's clearly an idtiot!!  ::)
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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #908 on: 04 March 2011, 06:23:12 pm »
Arggghhhh.....5 minutes ago....call from withheld number so ignored it. Leaves a voice message telling me his name and location, hotel and room number the lot. Then says...call me back or be here as soon as possible!  Classic....calls from a withheld number and tells me to call him back! And no way am I dashing out like a take away pizza to a guy who's clearly a dick!

Coty xxx
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River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #909 on: 05 March 2011, 12:34:39 pm »
"My first time seen
advert in Loot text me
back with naked
photo please"

Oh yes, now I remember why I stopped advertising in Loot.  ::)
God, they must keep old copies for ages, which is just weird.
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Miss Melanie Minx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #910 on: 06 March 2011, 09:53:30 pm »
I just received this text,
postcode ?

Not even had any other text of them so its not to do with an excisting booking. 

Kelly  :)
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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #911 on: 07 March 2011, 02:40:10 am »
Quote from: **Kelly** on 06 March 2011, 09:53:30 pm
I just received this text,
postcode ?

Not even had any other text of them so its not to do with an excisting booking. 

Kelly  :)

Man of few words! How rude though!

Coty xxx
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Pennymoney

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #912 on: 08 March 2011, 10:29:02 pm »
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 11:31:29 am
Quote from: xw5 on 21 February 2011, 11:17:23 am
Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am
The best bit of it was he sounded EXACTLY like Wearside Jack (The bloke from Sunderland who posed as Peter Sutcliffe during the Yorkshire Ripper investigation :o) Come to think of it I don't think they every caught that guy, knowing my luck it was probably him ((shudders))

Caught in 2005 due to some DNA on an envelope he licked in the 70s. Sentenced to eight years for perverting the course of justice in 2006.

I didn't know that! (and I'm a Sunderland girl as well so I really should :P) they caught him from DNA from the seventies? That's truly amazing.
I'm assuming it wasn't him then ;D probably a very unfortunate sound a like.
And yes Emily I'm going to use the 'I don't have any money but...' line myself from now on. There's a lovely pair of platform heels in Kurt kieger that have a ?12o price tag I don't want to fork out for, wish me luck!

Snap, I'm a Sunderland girl too.

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Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #913 on: 10 March 2011, 08:41:14 pm »
Oh for pity's sake, give me strength:-(
Work has been dead forever and I get a message just now....my heart skips a beat at the thought of some money for  food and gas at last!
And I get an idiot telling me how he loves my pics and  how big black women like me are his favourite and then asks for my address!
I'm white and only do outcalls! Grrrrr

Told him to go to specsavers!

Coty x
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Dionne

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #914 on: 11 March 2011, 06:12:34 pm »
Lmffao coty!!
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