"[...] I don't want to give you money but [...]"

I am totally using this line EVERY TIME I try to buy anything from now on.

"Hello, Gregg's Employee, I don't want to give you any money but may I have that bag of donuts?"
"Hello, brilliant hairdresser who makes me look almost decent, I don't want to give you any money but will you come and live in my kitchen cupboards so you can style my hair every day?"
"Hello, Big Issue seller, I don't want to give you any money but could you go away and stop being so homeless?"

I could go on all day! Especially since I have tons of homework that I should have started a week ago. Ahem! Back to the real world...

Voicemail this morning 'Hello Simone, I've seen your website and you look great, I don't want to give you money but if you are looking for some no strings fun give me a ring on blah blah blah'

And in the same vein from across the pond (by way of proof that they don't change no matter where you go):

Email received Saturday:

I seen your ad on Eros and I think that your absolutely amazing lol

I am 26yrs old I am very well educated as I hold a Master's degree and 2 bachelors degrees.  I was hoping you would consider giving me the night of my life that I would never forget.  If your free any night, maybe you would consider spending it with me?  Have a few drinks, order food, hangout together.  I always promised myself I would never pay for this so it was worth a shot to contact you to see if you would do it.  Anyway I attached a photo of myself, let me know what you think.  

Hope to hear back from you

Bwahahahahaha. And even better:

> Date: Sun, 20 Feb 2011 00:23:44 -0700
> From: anotherchancer
> To:
> Subject: My Photo
>
> I believe at first we need to each other better to communicate
> further.
> So hereby I am attaching my photo. You also please send me your
> photo and your info.
> Thanks.
> John,

The photo was of James Lafferty from One Tree Hill. Good old Tineye  .

Yesterday I had this annoying guy keep texting me, I asked him to call me if he wanted to arrange a booking, he drop called me, then asked me to call him back.  Then more texts.

I sent him a message "Just stop right now. Find someone else to inflict yourself on.  You won't get a further response from me".

That seemed to do the job.
I got the "Find someone else to inflict yourself on" from Emily's site.  It works well.  Thanks Emz  

I got the "Find someone else to inflict yourself on" from Emily's site.  It works well.  Thanks Emz  

Good lord, what a cow I am! I did mean it to sound half-jokey on my site, honest.

Via text: "Wish I could see you tomorrow. But im broke"

What is it with these people?
Do they also stand outside expensive restaurants
looking forlornly at the menu and hope the staff take pity and
offer a free meal?   
Actually, they probably do.

 
 

Ha, this is very imaginative how many of youz also had this one :L

((The full text of a basic 'Hello, I am a corrupt banker and I want you to help steal some money. Did I mention there will be some fees for modalities? Never mind, there will be..' scam email deleted.))

Quote from: Simone on 21 February 2011, 10:42:54 am

Voicemail this morning 'Hello Simone, I've seen your website and you look great, I don't want to give you money but if you are looking for some no strings fun give me a ring on blah blah blah'

And in the same vein from across the pond (by way of proof that they don't change no matter where you go):

Email received Saturday:

Quote

I seen your ad on Eros and I think that your absolutely amazing lol

I am 26yrs old I am very well educated as I hold a Master's degree and 2 bachelors degrees.  I was hoping you would consider giving me the night of my life that I would never forget.  If your free any night, maybe you would consider spending it with me?  Have a few drinks, order food, hangout together.  I always promised myself I would never pay for this so it was worth a shot to contact you to see if you would do it.  Anyway I attached a photo of myself, let me know what you think.  

Hope to hear back from you

Bwahahahahaha. And even better:

Quote

> Date: Sun, 20 Feb 2011 00:23:44 -0700
> From: anotherchancer
> To:
> Subject: My Photo
>
> I believe at first we need to each other better to communicate
> further.
> So hereby I am attaching my photo. You also please send me your
> photo and your info.
> Thanks.
> John,

The photo was of James Lafferty from One Tree Hill. Good old Tineye  .

I was really bored, had a bit of time to kill so played someone like this at their own game. Basically a guy contacted me via MSN last week. I don't usually entertain guys via that method, but hey like I say I was at a loose end.

Anyway he basically asked me for a free shag, said he wasn't looking to pay and even better said that I would fancy him. So I lay down the gauntlet, I said "Ok matey boy, we'll meet up have a few drinks, and if I fancy you as you say I will then maybe we will get down to some rumpy pumpy". Suddenly he didn't have any transport, couldn't believe me, asked me to send him some photos that weren't on my website, said he didn't fancy meeting me in a bar because I was probably a 'known' escort and he wasn't going to be seen out with one.

Called his bluff and he went running off frightened.

I'm guessing he came on line for a bit of sexy chat and went away with more than he bargained for. Ah well!!!

PS do not try this at home readers

How rude!!

phone rings this morning (well my this morning so more like lunch time)

Anyhoo conversations goes like this:

Him: hi i'm on your profile and it says your dress size 18 but you dont look it, is this right?
Me: Of course its right, not something i would lie about

*click* hangs up!

how bloody rude! And added straight too ignore cause you know he'll forget and call again another time, they always do