Email at 11pm this evening...Can you do an outcall tomorrow morning at 8am?
Problem...I make clear in capital letters it is incalls only,I require 24 hours notice for weekend bookings unless I have my available today on and I start at 11am earliest...plus who the fuck is likely to get his email in time to then sort it out with him in time for being with him at 8am on a Sunday morning...

Idiot: hi babe, u do anal?

Me: No, read my profile.

Idiot: u do shit in mouth?

Me: No and I won't be booking you.

Idiot: i give u 50 for an hr

My rates are higher than ?50 per hour and I definitely don't do anal.

Today caller rang asking for all services for hour , send your postcode luv .
I said definatly see you at 1,30 I didn't send any details and he didnt call back
Sounded so rough lol

Phone call late last night....

"Is that Alison?"
"Yes"
"How much do you charge for an hour?"
Ffs he hasn't read my advert! "110"
"You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Louder "You better be good for that!"
"What?"
Screams down the phone "YOU BETTER BE GOOD FOR THAT, ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?"
"No, I'm just shocked you are asking an escort a question like that"
"What do you mean?"
"Well we have sex for a living, if we wasn't good we wouldn't have a job for long would we?"
"Good point. Can i fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch?"
"What?"
"Can I fuck you up the arse you dirty bitch. Are you fucking deaf?"
"No I'm not deaf mate I'm just tired of this phone call goodbye"

I turned my phone off after that call lol

What an arsehole.

Him - just checking if I can see you today?
Me - Hi, how long for? Which services? And what sort of time please?
Him - For an hour, special request if you can suck and play with my nipples for 10mins followed by A-level and watersports same time if you can perform you on top of me facing away and I would like to try fisting as well. Between 8 and 9 tonight?
Me - Blocked

Fuck me, what am I a robot? I don't think I've ever managed to piss whilst being done up the bum. I hate going on top and find it really uncomfortable let alone being relaxed enough to see and where would this take place? Not on my bed. Fuck off. I sleep in my bed, I don't want it soaked. I find sucking men's nipples really boring and they're usually hairy which isn't much good and I'd never see a new punter late in the evening. So it was a big Get Fucked from all perspectives. I don't do PSE. I do kink. I do watersports n all the rest he wanted but NOT all at the same fucking time. Jeez. The guys Bern watching too much porn!!!

Oh excellent !

'Oo wow, well I hope there's chemistry... if so id actually see u as a girlfriend in future if we really like each other! U never know hehe. See you x'

He sounded sane before this red flag...

I hate "hehe" especially without an exclamation mark. Creepy.

Me too !

Got one today email
'Where are you ? send me your postcode and I might have time to see you later'

I just sent back,

If you've tried anyone else with that technique I doubt you'll get an answer because it doesn't work that way.

I get booked quite quickly so you'd have to call me to see if I have got any time or would like to meet YOU so good luck

I just received this now from this idiot. 


hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on if interested




I have replied saying

Hello .

For a person who has 2 positive feedback from established escorts.

 I am shocked that you are contacting an ESCORT - WHERE HER  TIME MUST BE PAID FOR.

This is not a Dating website or Sugar Daddy site. This is an ESCORT SITE where money is exchanged for the escorts time.


I think you have lost your marbles and your absolutely delusional to think that me - ESCORT - PROSSY - WILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND FOR - NOTHING.


TIME IS MONEY -

NO MONEY FOR - NO HONEY FOR YOU - I PUT THIS IN ENGLISH ( NO MONEY HANDED TO ME - YOU DON'T GET THIS EBONY PUSSY TO ENJOY.)

GOOD LUCK IN FINDING AN ESCORT WHO WILL ACCEPT YOUR SILLY OFFER.