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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2664833 times)

UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #600 on: 29 July 2010, 09:36:19 pm »
Quote from: EmilyJones on 29 July 2010, 02:28:07 pm
A pumpkin up the bum?!

LOL....Im always cracking up at your posts LOL. I guess that puts fisting to shame  ;D
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FayeBloore

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #601 on: 03 August 2010, 03:50:53 pm »
Attention,

Permit me to solicit for your assistance to invest in your country. I have been searching for a advanced/developing country with economic and political stability to invest in. I wish you will be of a great assistance to me considering your position and statues in business. However, I will keep further detail personal till when I read from you. I wish my dream to invest in your country will be a successful one. I do expect to read from you as soon as possible.

Yours,

P****


Arggggh I simply do not understand some clients!
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #602 on: 03 August 2010, 03:59:28 pm »
Quote from: FayeBloore on 03 August 2010, 03:50:53 pm
Attention,

Permit me to solicit for your assistance to invest in your country. I have been searching for a advanced/developing country with economic and political stability to invest in. I wish you will be of a great assistance to me considering your position and statues in business. However, I will keep further detail personal till when I read from you. I wish my dream to invest in your country will be a successful one. I do expect to read from you as soon as possible.

Yours,

P****


Arggggh I simply do not understand some clients!

I don't think that was a client. ;)
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FayeBloore

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #603 on: 03 August 2010, 05:30:20 pm »
Thank you Emily! I had a funny feeling it might be some kind of spam although I'm not very computer literate so didn't feel confident in making that assumption.

Although that link you've given me was fab! I'm going to torment his or her greedy arse whenever business is slow or I cannot bare to sift through the cack.
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Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #604 on: 06 August 2010, 07:00:15 pm »
Voicemail on my work mobile this afternoon

'Hi Simone, my names Ed, i was wondering if you would do an outcall to Alnwick today? I appreciate its quite a distance (Alnwick is at least 90 minutes drive from my address) but i am wanting to book you for a whole hour'

Why thankyou kind sir for being so generous  as to offer me a full hour appointment for what would be a 3 hour round driving trip! especially as my minimun outcall booking time IS one hour ::)
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Alexa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #605 on: 06 August 2010, 08:47:14 pm »
Why not try specifying a minimum booking time for distances outside of your city? Or an additional fee per hour of travelling? :)
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A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.

Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #606 on: 06 August 2010, 09:17:16 pm »
Quote from: Alexa on 06 August 2010, 08:47:14 pm
Why not try specifying a minimum booking time for distances outside of your city? Or an additional fee per hour of travelling? :)

I do state travelling costs applicable for journies over 20 miles from my home. I dont mind going for the hour if they pay travelling costs. It was the 'im going to book you for a whole hour'  bit as if he was doing me a favour that made me smile ;D

Seeming as though its a vivastreet ad i dont suppose it would get read either way, ive got my rates right at the top of my advert as well but people always ring asking 'How much?'
Although i think thats got more to do with them hoping i will quote a lower price than  anything ::)
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Blue

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #607 on: 18 August 2010, 01:41:44 pm »
Repeat customers text.

"hi r u available at 4pm? txt bk want half hr, its adam had u b4."






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pandora

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #608 on: 18 August 2010, 10:05:16 pm »
"Hi, I assume you visit service stations"

Me- well I could if there is a hotel there.

"No, I have a big truck"

Me - Oh lovely, Do I  bring the bin bags and shovel or do you already have them in the back of your wagon?


Also:

"Me m8 said u was gd shag, wot u look like and wot u do?" 

And:

"Hi BBE, u do BB? tb asap"

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Dani

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #609 on: 18 August 2010, 10:12:49 pm »
"Im finkin of cumin 2 fuck u 2mow, u swolow spunk?"

My reply, "I am thinking of blocking your number  as you are just far too high classed for me"

Number blocked.

Jeez where do these idiots come from
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lauralashes

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #610 on: 30 August 2010, 03:15:22 pm »
Not the strangest of requests but this weekend a regular (well, sort of, he's seen me a couple of time) asked if I could accompany him to a wedding he's been invited to! I politely declined but can you imagine what it would be like when he introduces me to people!
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Stephanies Secrets

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #611 on: 30 August 2010, 04:34:07 pm »
When you call and ask if I'm available and where I'm based, and I tell you, "Yes, I'm available until such a time, and I have a flat near such a place!" this isn't a booking, it's an inquiry. A booking is when we agree on a certain time and I tell you more precisely where I am. A booking will get me off my arse and looking pretty, an inquiry, well, I might get off my arse and make myself a cup of tea.

So, when you call me, half an hour after making your inquiry, and tell me "I'm at such a place, where do I go now?" don't be surprised when you then have to wait around for me to get myself ready to meet you  ::)
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Emelie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #612 on: 30 August 2010, 06:50:58 pm »
Quote from: Stephanies Secrets on 30 August 2010, 04:34:07 pm
When you call and ask if I'm available and where I'm based, and I tell you, "Yes, I'm available until such a time, and I have a flat near such a place!" this isn't a booking, it's an inquiry. A booking is when we agree on a certain time and I tell you more precisely where I am. A booking will get me off my arse and looking pretty, an inquiry, well, I might get off my arse and make myself a cup of tea.

So, when you call me, half an hour after making your inquiry, and tell me "I'm at such a place, where do I go now?" don't be surprised when you then have to wait around for me to get myself ready to meet you  ::)

I hate it when clients say "Okay, so you're at such and such place, well I'll give you a call when I'm there".
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Alexxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #613 on: 31 August 2010, 08:55:48 am »
I got a call on Sunday from a guy asking if I would be prepared to see him and his girlfriend. I said yes, but you need to ask your girlfriend to call me to discuss this herself.
Guess what? She didn't call.
A few hours later the same man calls again. When I answer he says: So, have you thought any more about the wrestling?
I ask what on earth he's talking about and he says his girlfriend is really turned on by wrestling with another lady. She's a tiny size 6 and wouldn't hurt you (how can she hurt me when she doesn't even exist, you freak) ....But she really gets off on wrestling with women. He can guarantee 2 x 2hour booking per month......(well that seals it, I'm that hard up I have to accept bookings from imaginary people)
I ask if they provide the jelly and paddling pool to wrestle in or should I?  ::)
He missed the sarcasm (what a surprise)
Again, I politely asked him to get his girlfriend to call me and hang up.
Can't wait for his next call. Honest  ;D
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Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #614 on: 31 August 2010, 10:33:20 am »
Quote from: Alexxx on 31 August 2010, 08:55:48 am
I got a call on Sunday from a guy asking if I would be prepared to see him and his girlfriend. I said yes, but you need to ask your girlfriend to call me to discuss this herself.
Guess what? She didn't call.
A few hours later the same man calls again. When I answer he says: So, have you thought any more about the wrestling?
I ask what on earth he's talking about and he says his girlfriend is really turned on by wrestling with another lady. She's a tiny size 6 and wouldn't hurt you (how can she hurt me when she doesn't even exist, you freak) ....But she really gets off on wrestling with women. He can guarantee 2 x 2hour booking per month......(well that seals it, I'm that hard up I have to accept bookings from imaginary people)
I ask if they provide the jelly and paddling pool to wrestle in or should I?  ::)
He missed the sarcasm (what a surprise)
Again, I politely asked him to get his girlfriend to call me and hang up.
Can't wait for his next call. Honest ;D



((sigh)) The lack of originality in his fantasy is nearly as depressing as his timewaster capability. Why not 'My girlfriend gets really turned on accompanying another lady down the inflatable slides at wet and wild water park?' Now that's a booking i really would consider turning up for ;D
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