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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599688 times)

Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11190 on: 22 April 2017, 08:40:39 pm »
"What do I get in a 15min oral only session?"

Well we start by going for dinner and a movie, maybe split a bottle of wine?  Then back to mine for 3 hours of incredible bareback sex, anal, vaginal, aural... Whatever you want! But it doesn't end there!  Then I shave my head, get a tattoo of your face all down my back and start a cult in your honour, I bear your children and raise them to worship you as the one true God

Sometimes even I'm surprised by how bitchy and sarcastic my internal monologue is...
Ya ha ha!

Braziliana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11191 on: 22 April 2017, 08:45:57 pm »

2)What do i get for ?40?

My reply: A weeks shopping?

Tee-hee!

Justine

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11192 on: 22 April 2017, 09:10:09 pm »
I do not show my face on photos but have one or two with my smiley mouth and pink lipstick, one man emailed to book and said he loved my white straight teeth and that I must take good care of them.  I replied yes and I clean them every week whether they need it or not.

He didn't book, obviously needs a humour transplant.

QueenB

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11193 on: 23 April 2017, 12:52:42 pm »

I get texts from guys whom I had seen before.  They seem to love texting for the sake of it, asking to meet up but these texts rarely /or NEVER results in actual bookings (and I already know that because they can't work out their schedule themselves).  AND They know.  I'm thinking of stopping these texts "service" for no fees.  Seriously.   ::)  It's just time wasting.

Yeah I get the odd repeat booker who will text and dilly dally for a few hours, they just get it into the ignore file. Regular regulars are not too bad. I find the single ones seem to be the worse culprits.

Aleshaxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11194 on: 24 April 2017, 11:51:48 am »
"What do I get in a 15min oral only session?"

Well we start by going for dinner and a movie, maybe split a bottle of wine?  Then back to mine for 3 hours of incredible bareback sex, anal, vaginal, aural... Whatever you want! But it doesn't end there!  Then I shave my head, get a tattoo of your face all down my back and start a cult in your honour, I bear your children and raise them to worship you as the one true God

Sometimes even I'm surprised by how bitchy and sarcastic my internal monologue is...
You've made my day hahaha

mature helen

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11195 on: 24 April 2017, 01:05:16 pm »
Email from a 22 year old with 0 feedback


Hi sexy are you free to come suck my big young cock i want you Xx


 

SuperCheese

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11196 on: 24 April 2017, 03:14:36 pm »

Hi hun do you offer unprotected sex and can I have your postcode x
 

                 

GothGirl

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11197 on: 24 April 2017, 05:44:18 pm »
Email from a 22 year old with 0 feedback


Hi sexy are you free to come suck my big young cock i want you Xx


Hahahaha I had similar this morning. Why do they think that by giving us their young age that we'll want to see them even more  :-[

Lushblossom

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11198 on: 25 April 2017, 08:46:12 am »
My profile clearly states nobody under 30.  Then a 21 year old texts stating his age.  I replied saying 'Can't you read profiles?'.

Hopeless!

SuperCheese

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11199 on: 25 April 2017, 11:12:41 am »
Quote
would u see me for ?60? For 30 min x only reason is that girl in (place and username omitted) is doing it for ?50 x just to let you know x

I told him to see her then and stop wasting my time. These cheapskates are so bloody annoying.

CurlsnCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11200 on: 25 April 2017, 01:28:56 pm »
By text "Hi, it's George"  (who????)

Another texter "I've just seen your as but I can't call at the moment"

Honestly these baffle the mind.

English natural beauty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11201 on: 25 April 2017, 02:19:42 pm »
I had the pleasure of recieving this email from a fantasist with 0 feedback


Well first we were walking in the woods and found ourselves in a secluded clearing, noticing the opportunity for some naughtiness we found a suitable tree stump and you bend over flashing your amazing arse.

I slowly unzip my jeans and you quickly unfold my cock - it's length and tip swelling in your hands much to your enjoyment. You slowly run your tongue over the tip as you expose the swollen tip, pre cum glistening in the sun.

I bend you over the log and trace my tongue around your perfect pussy and dart between your tight ass too, probing both holes with my tongue and plunging it deep into your pussy so I can taste your sweet juices...

Before not long you want more and I slide my cock inside you deep, I hold you down over the log with your arms behind your back and slowly pump you with my full length, gaining speed so my heavy balls bounce against your clit. You can feel how full they are. I playfully slide a finger in your tight ass as we fuck faster and deeper, my pre cum mixing with your own juices ready to receive my thick cum.

I can feel my balls tightening and push in as deep as I can so you feel each hot squirt of thick fertile cum deep inside your pussy, wave after wave of contractions as I keep cumming more and more, leaking down my shaft and onto the ground. We stand there for a minute to catch our breath and enjoy the moment before allowing it it leak out onto the ground....

Maybe next time I will get to try your other forbidden hole too... ;)

Xxx
 
I think I nearly threw up in my mouth.
Sometimes I think that I could die from an overdose of satisfaction. -Salvador Dali

essmith

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11202 on: 25 April 2017, 02:41:16 pm »
Him: Hi it's Pie*** from aw. Thank you for bidding on my reverse booking?
Me: Hi. Is Pie*** your aw nickname?
Him: yes Pie***

I check my bids history nothing with that nickname comes up  ???

Him:Can I see pic of you?
Me: Pics are on my profile.
Him: Nevermind, clearly not interested

:-\ hmmm probably not as I don't get who you are pretending to be and why do you need personalised service forwarding pictures that you can check on the profile anyway :FF

QueenB

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11203 on: 25 April 2017, 03:37:41 pm »
Random & impolite messages from degenerates, illiterates and social inept people

Texter put the phone down when i answered then sent me this: Hi Sorry my English is not good. Are you working today? (well your English looks fine to me)

How much for a bj and a fuck? (classy)

Can you text me your address? (Sure i can, i always send my address to complete strangers who i don't know or never spoken )

Good Flake/Coke available text or call (Sorry i am on a diet and Fizzy drinks are not good for you)

R U working today x postcode sex bareback and French kissing 1 hour (wtf)

Hey!! Anal? How much for alnighter? (Hey! Can YOU take a 9 inch strap on?)

Can i rum u 2 min on my kness (yes kness) nothing else for 10?
Same guy text 2:
Can i judt (yes judt) 5 min rim u for 10?? (clearly not as i didn't respond to your last stupid text)

Ah no texts shame no worries (like i really am loosing out by not texting you)

Client who booked and was texting me while on his way (apparently)

Him: I'm so horny now miss x
Me: How long are you going to be?
Him: 5 mins I'm driving with a hard on
Me: Are you lost? time is getting on
Him: I accidentally shot my load everywhere babe I'm sorry x
Me: You are a prick and one i will not forget

Escortx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11204 on: 25 April 2017, 06:39:37 pm »
Getting annoyed at so many questions allready answered or on my profile