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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2664904 times)

Blue

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #555 on: 16 July 2010, 03:51:15 pm »
Quote
So now they want us to fuck for botox/oil of ulay? Golly, I would at least want some restalyn!

I had someone offer botox for a booking, I'm not even 25 yet!
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Blue

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #556 on: 16 July 2010, 03:53:04 pm »
Quote from: melodymoo on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
**Dear Melody,

I'm Karl, I'm 42 and told very attractive, I'm also very submissive and enjoy serving attractive and assertive ladies.

I'm a professional mobile car valeter and detailer from the Uxbridge area.

I have many years of experience Repairing car bumper scuffs, scratches and alloy wheel scuffs as well as cleaning, valeting and detailing cars.

I have also served ladies as a domestic cleaner and odd job man.

As I have this desire to serve and be exploited by a lady such as yourself I would like to offer my services to you totally free of charge.

This offer is not too good to be true I would like to fully valet your car as regularly as you would like and all I ask for in return is to be treated as your servant. Strange but true!

As I do obviously need to earn a living too, I would like to make this offer to just 1 or 2 ladies who would like a regular free of charge service.

I'm totally mobile and can provide services at your home or business.

So if you think you could use me now or in the future please feel free to call me anytime.

Mobile: 07*** 4** 3**

Best Regards

Karl x  **

Brilliant...Just Brilliant. I wonder if he'd wash my car in a gimp suit on request?

xx


If only he was in my area, I need my car doing !



[Edited to remove contact details]
« Last Edit: 16 July 2010, 04:01:17 pm by amy »
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Spangle

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #557 on: 16 July 2010, 04:13:37 pm »
Well Blue he is fully mobile...x  ;) lol


p.s Sorry administators, will make sure I disguise the number next time   :-*
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April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #558 on: 16 July 2010, 06:38:10 pm »
Quote from: melodymoo on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
This offer is not too good to be true

Haha
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cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #559 on: 17 July 2010, 01:31:06 am »
Quote from: Danielle_xx on 14 July 2010, 05:36:55 pm
This is the best I have ever had.
 
Idiot "can I have an hour duo booking with you for a guaranteed collagen replacement gel that costs ?150 a pot an you can have 2". "the science proves it penetrates the skin" " the gel is exclusive to us and is called Clayton shagal"
 This was immediatley followed by
"well will you"
then
"Please answer, if it doesnt work for you after a month I will come and pay you"

I politely explained that NO collogen gel will penetrate the skin unless it is hydolyzed collagen in which case the particles are so small they are immediately washed out via the lymphatic flow.

The idiot even sent me to the website which has NO scientific back up just loads of false claims that they cannot prove to be true.

I am now on text 25 as have been ignoring him but he just wont let up.

His name wasn?t Clayton by any chance?
Clayton shagal ? Am I the only one who noticed this? Shag gal? Snigger, or is it just me being juvenile?
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Dani

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #560 on: 17 July 2010, 12:13:10 pm »
Nope it is a real company that sells its product under the assumption that it really replaces lost collagen in your skin and then charges ?60 for a tiny tiny pot. Yes it will make your skin look fresher like any moisturiser but it will not do what it says on the label. Unfortunately only fillers or a facelift can make wrinkles disappear.
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Truth is far more important than what one wants to hear. With truth there is no us and them or colour or religion there is just fact

Lucy Chambers

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #561 on: 17 July 2010, 12:15:57 pm »
Quote from: Blue on 16 July 2010, 03:53:04 pm
Quote from: melodymoo on 16 July 2010, 02:44:12 pm
**Dear Melody,

I'm Karl, I'm 42 and told very attractive, I'm also very submissive and enjoy serving attractive and assertive ladies.

I'm a professional mobile car valeter and detailer from the Uxbridge area.

I have many years of experience Repairing car bumper scuffs, scratches and alloy wheel scuffs as well as cleaning, valeting and detailing cars.

I have also served ladies as a domestic cleaner and odd job man.

As I have this desire to serve and be exploited by a lady such as yourself I would like to offer my services to you totally free of charge.

This offer is not too good to be true I would like to fully valet your car as regularly as you would like and all I ask for in return is to be treated as your servant. Strange but true!

As I do obviously need to earn a living too, I would like to make this offer to just 1 or 2 ladies who would like a regular free of charge service.

I'm totally mobile and can provide services at your home or business.

So if you think you could use me now or in the future please feel free to call me anytime.

Mobile: 07*** 4** 3**

Best Regards

Karl x  **

Brilliant...Just Brilliant. I wonder if he'd wash my car in a gimp suit on request?

xx


If only he was in my area, I need my car doing !



[Edited to remove contact details]

Damn. Those alloys could do with a buff!
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Spangle

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #562 on: 18 July 2010, 11:07:07 pm »
Yet another gem from AW. A irresistable offer from a true class act..

darling

i am looking for a open and fun female who can live in darlington (n-e uk) and work as live-in babysitter / au - pair

so what do you get:

1) rent free accomodation, food and 24 x 7 broadband
3) no monthly household bills for you
5) free weekends (2 days per week), free evenings everyday after 4pm
6) ?400 per month cash on top

what do i get:

1) discreet fun when my wife is not around / busy ..... lol
2) daytime care for our 2 small kids when we at office


i am 32 yrs old married man, gym fit and atheletic living with wife and 2 kids

if above sounds interesting then i give my number or else call you

please no time wasting if not of interest
kisses
 


What an offer eh? a month in box room, "discreet" fun, the pleasure of caring for 2 rugrats and mopping the bogs all for the equivalent of a 2 hour booking. Seriously?? Where do these plonker come up with this? Do you reckon anyone ever agrees to these sort of offers?

Ah well, keeps me amused..I'm easily pleased xx

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Lucy Chambers

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #563 on: 18 July 2010, 11:39:24 pm »
Hate to do this as I know you must be packing to go, but I had that three weeks ago. I was just wondering where I would put the kids while I serviced Daddy..
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Spangle

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #564 on: 19 July 2010, 12:02:14 am »
Aww Juicy Lucy! You've ruined it for me now..I thought I was "special" *SOB* teehee xx
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Dani

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #565 on: 19 July 2010, 12:13:02 am »
Melody sorry sweetie but I had that one weeks ago too so did my touring buddy and our duo profile ;D
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Truth is far more important than what one wants to hear. With truth there is no us and them or colour or religion there is just fact

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #566 on: 19 July 2010, 10:50:24 am »
I didn't! Don't I look like I'd be good with kids? :'(
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Blue

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #567 on: 19 July 2010, 04:04:39 pm »
Is this just me but

7 missed calls in 10minutes, really pisses me off, to the point that I wouldn't want to see that client?

leave a message, send a text, try in 5-10minutes but constantly calling?!
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #568 on: 19 July 2010, 04:18:37 pm »
Quote from: Blue on 19 July 2010, 04:04:39 pm
7 missed calls in 10minutes, really pisses me off, to the point that I wouldn't want to see that client?

It, um, probably does indicate a bit of dimness. Or it makes me imagine someone so furiously impatient that their head is turning tomato-coloured. ;D And overall, it's just silly. Calling someone once per minute never makes anything happen faster! If it's that urgent then they should've sent an email 24 hours earlier, tsk tsk.
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #569 on: 19 July 2010, 05:06:24 pm »
Quote from: melodymoo on 18 July 2010, 11:07:07 pm
What an offer eh? a month in box room, "discreet" fun, the pleasure of caring for 2 rugrats and mopping the bogs all for the equivalent of a 2 hour booking. Seriously?? Where do these plonker come up with this? Do you reckon anyone ever agrees to these sort of offers?

That sounds like pure slavery, with the exception you're getting paid. Maybe an indentured servant. Just remember: If someone can concoct such an offer, no matter how ridiculous, there must be someone who's willing to take up on it. Sad but true....
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