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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594712 times)

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10740 on: 04 January 2017, 09:42:54 am »
Him: do you like BBC
Me: I prefer channel 4.
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

wishlist

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10741 on: 04 January 2017, 10:40:52 am »
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 January 2017, 09:42:54 am
Him: do you like BBC
Me: I prefer channel 4.

Lol I had him msg me or someone who said the same thing, I said 'love it just watching a doc on there now'  ;D
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Shewolf

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10742 on: 05 January 2017, 10:04:12 pm »
Quote from: MissBehaving on 03 January 2017, 10:12:21 pm
Copied and pasted


hi there i would like to book you for a session if i may where was i would like is for you to be wearing some sort of sexy dress or top and skirt bra and knickers we have just met in a room for afternoon tea with a cake so i divide cheesecake up give you a piece and it accidentally falls on your dress I'm so very sorry and try to help you clean it off i have the hots for you but you are married you go bathroom to clean off i follow and apologies again and get a cloth i appologise again I'm about to have a shower now i kiss you and you push me away i shower when i come out you still trying to get the cake off and i kiss you again this time you want me i go shower and pull you in still clothed you shower with me lots of snogging then we go to the bed still in your wet clothing and ride me what do you think

 

How can I resist ?


I think I'd ask him if I could bring a script with me as I'd forget what I was supposed to do half way through.

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BibiofLeeds

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10743 on: 05 January 2017, 10:46:36 pm »
Aw email from a guy with 2 positive feedbacks for hour long bookings!
Hi my love I'd like to book you for 30 mins I'm a 65 year old but as I'm not a long stayer can I shag you for 50?

I normally don't answer but I couldn't help stating the obvious like why doesn't he book a 15 min quickie or book a sex worker that does 30 mins for 50 instead of making himself look like a cheeky cheap timewaster.. :FF
Stupid yacky old fool!
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katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10744 on: 05 January 2017, 11:38:26 pm »
I've had quite a few window lickers the past few days by text:

An idiot who booked then got 'called into work' a few weeks ago texted today "Long shot but you aren't working now are you?" I didn't reply but thought haha not a fucking chance ever again, fool.  ;D

Another moron "Hey Kat hour in am" No reply again

Yet another dumbass "Pay you for nickers" then later "U very nice"  ::)

Then another twat at 9.50pm "Hello when do you finnish" Me: "5pm"

And yet another plonker "My partner ha been in touch asking about couples. Sounds good. Do you also have sexy underwear that you can put on"  What the fuck else am I going to do with my undies?!!!  ???

Fucking twits  ???
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Lucie268

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10745 on: 05 January 2017, 11:52:31 pm »
Quote from: MissBehaving on 03 January 2017, 10:12:21 pm
Copied and pasted


hi there i would like to book you for a session if i may where was i would like is for you to be wearing some sort of sexy dress or top and skirt bra and knickers we have just met in a room for afternoon tea with a cake so i divide cheesecake up give you a piece and it accidentally falls on your dress I'm so very sorry and try to help you clean it off i have the hots for you but you are married you go bathroom to clean off i follow and apologies again and get a cloth i appologise again I'm about to have a shower now i kiss you and you push me away i shower when i come out you still trying to get the cake off and i kiss you again this time you want me i go shower and pull you in still clothed you shower with me lots of snogging then we go to the bed still in your wet clothing and ride me what do you think

 

How can I resist ?

I... I think this might be one of my favourites of all time. It's the stream of consciousness style, I can imagine him getting all in a tizzy with those typos and lack of punctuation.

i'm so very sorry cloth apologise and i appologise again i keep on apppologising about the cake oh no the cake is on you i go shower
« Last Edit: 06 January 2017, 12:06:53 am by Lucie268 »
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Nia Hope

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10746 on: 06 January 2017, 02:57:45 pm »
Another copy and paste.

I'm Andrew, 34 years old ,half British half Russian, top manager, who just moved to Essex. Looking for a beautiful, smart and talented girl to meet with her on regular basis (1-3 times a month) without looking for a serious relationship. We can arrange meetings in your place as well as go out together or travel. I love travelling, kitesurfing, wakeboarding, snowboarding, playing poker, reading books and just going out and meeting new interesting people. I travel one third of my time, so can not think about serious relationship. Please let me know about your availability and if you wish to meet.

Please WhatsApp me also on [removed - please don't post phone numbers here] - I believe it would be great to have a quick intro chat before the initial meeting as well as it will be fair for you to see my photos as well. I very respect you and your time and understand you receive millions of messages from random people, but I'm not looking for one night adventure and would love to spend time with a person who actually likes me. Looking forward to find out if we click together (hope so),
« Last Edit: 06 January 2017, 09:34:49 pm by amy »
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If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

seleranda

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10747 on: 06 January 2017, 03:37:00 pm »
Quote from: Nia Hope on 06 January 2017, 02:57:45 pm
Another copy and paste.

I'm Andrew, 34 years old ,half British half Russian, top manager, who just moved to Essex. Looking for a beautiful, smart and talented girl to meet with her on regular basis (1-3 times a month) without looking for a serious relationship. We can arrange meetings in your place as well as go out together or travel. I love travelling, kitesurfing, wakeboarding, snowboarding, playing poker, reading books and just going out and meeting new interesting people. I travel one third of my time, so can not think about serious relationship. Please let me know about your availability and if you wish to meet.

Please WhatsApp me also on [removed - please don't post phone numbers here] I believe it would be great to have a quick intro chat before the initial meeting as well as it will be fair for you to see my photos as well. I very respect you and your time and understand you receive millions of messages from random people, but I'm not looking for one night adventure and would love to spend time with a person who actually likes me. Looking forward to find out if we click together (hope so),

He doesn't mention anything about payment, so he is another deluded looking for a FWB on an escort site.
« Last Edit: 06 January 2017, 09:35:36 pm by amy »
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Shewolf

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10748 on: 06 January 2017, 09:13:15 pm »
Quote from: seleranda on 06 January 2017, 03:37:00 pm
He doesn't mention anything about payment, so he is another deluded looking for a FWB on an escort site.

Yep. This type want it all: a 'relationship' with no commitment...they will pay at first then will get secretly offended at being expected to pay because subconsciously they are just offering initial payment to persuade you to meet them.
I believe this is the worst kind of man. True users who masquerade as 'good guys'.
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wishlist

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10749 on: 06 January 2017, 10:17:21 pm »
Was on cam earlier and in free chat for a brief second was really busy, a guy id seen in 2015 popped in and said I need to book a meet, my usual well please call for bookings, said he would and then he said.......I cant wait to come over that pussy, I said I dont think you will, his amazing message back was.....iv had the snip  ??? :FF righteho  ::) ???
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MissBehaving

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10750 on: 07 January 2017, 01:20:33 am »

Dear ......
I hope you had an enjoyable break over Christmas? I have recently joined and saw your profile, you look stunning and I enjoyed reading your profile. I have never been with an escort before. Obviously you do this to earn money but do you enjoy it as well? What things turn you on so that you enjoy your clients?
All the best




 
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Loulou41

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10751 on: 07 January 2017, 11:15:27 pm »
I can come over for an hour and we can kiss and cuddle

After telling him I had finished work at 5 and it's now nearly 11 pm and I'm about to go to bed oh hell yes come over you little dweeb because I just can't wait to be held and cuddled and kissed for an hour probably for free because you're so caring and want to look after me. Oh wait a minute erm no fuck off you pathetic moron as I said I'm finished WORK and that's what you are, work, now do one and let me relax you little turd!
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MissFlint

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10752 on: 07 January 2017, 11:30:08 pm »
Client rang me to book and I asked how long he wanted to book for, he answered "how long can you last?" I said I should be asking you that! His question annoyed me so I said let's forget about it. He then asked "can you squirt?" a question which always makes me hang up.
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TrashAzn

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10753 on: 08 January 2017, 02:52:53 pm »
Lol always "can you squirt?" like it's just something that works on demand. Then I tell them if they wanted to watch me masturbate I could guarantee I'd squirt for them but then they say "But I want to make you squirt" and I tell them it probably won't work unless they follow my instructions.

Then they turn up and instead of listening to what I want them to do they ram fingers into me while lapping like a dog on my clit.
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katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10754 on: 08 January 2017, 03:18:58 pm »
Quote from: TrashAzn on 08 January 2017, 02:52:53 pm
Lol always "can you squirt?" like it's just something that works on demand. Then I tell them if they wanted to watch me masturbate I could guarantee I'd squirt for them but then they say "But I want to make you squirt" and I tell them it probably won't work unless they follow my instructions.

Then they turn up and instead of listening to what I want them to do they ram fingers into me while lapping like a dog on my clit.


Yes the "Are you a squirter??" whilst fingering/licking in the totally wrong way gets on my nerves. It occasionally happens unexpectedly but tbh it tires me out so I would rather not do it very often.


I've also had a few guys ask over the phone "Will you squirt for me please pretty please, say you will go on I love that"  I usually say no but I'll wee on you if you want lol
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