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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594717 times)

katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10455 on: 16 November 2016, 08:56:17 pm »
Quote from: loubyloo on 15 November 2016, 09:35:35 am
Text this morning,
Hi if I book you, do you mind if I stink of smoke as I'll be having a fag before I come in?

Oh the romance of them.......


Its all glamour and glitz this job innit lmao 


At least he gave a bit of warning, nobody has ever said to me before the booking "By the way my cock stinks as I last washed it 2 days ago, you don't mind do you" lol
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10456 on: 16 November 2016, 11:04:00 pm »
Text:
"can a send mr post code"

My reply:
Sorry, Mr Postcode isn't at this number.
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
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BibiofLeeds

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10457 on: 16 November 2016, 11:17:27 pm »
Quote from: katrina on 16 November 2016, 08:56:17 pm

Its all glamour and glitz this job innit lmao 


At least he gave a bit of warning, nobody has ever said to me before the booking "By the way my cock stinks as I last washed it 2 days ago, you don't mind do you" lol
I'd have replied with 'Yes that's fine as long as you don't mind that I won't be kissing you or going anywhere near your faggy  breath.You don't mind do you?'
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Aqua Allegoria

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10458 on: 17 November 2016, 10:38:53 am »
This by email now:


Hi I'm looking to book you very soon, I would like to book you for a full week. for the full week I would like to have you as my wife for the week. we would play husband and wife, we would do everything together durning our time would like to see you dress like a princess durning the day and a naughty slut in the evening. this will take place in my new built house in Warrington, could you please quote me on this service please.

So I would be running around an empty house dressed up as Frozen? Fuck I'd rather be Pocahontas, what should I reply???
 
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10459 on: 17 November 2016, 11:20:53 am »
Quote
I would like to have you as my wife for the week. we would play husband and wife, we would do everything together durning our time

So you're going to spend a week nagging him about skidmarks in the loo and having bitter arguments in Ikea? Can't wait!  :D
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

TrashAzn

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10460 on: 17 November 2016, 11:35:51 am »
The fantasists are some of my favourites lol, I imagine in his mind it plays out that in that week he manages to make you fall in love with him and you'll live happily ever after with him saving you from the evil life of prostitution.

Oh and he gets all that sex for free because I also imagine he thinks he pays at the end of everything and you'll just let him off because you want to get married. Of course in a sensible mind it sounds like he's imprisoning you in his home lol.

I also love when they say things like "I'm thinking of booking you soon" it translates to "I am never going to book you but I am going to bombard you with long winded emails while I wank"
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katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10461 on: 17 November 2016, 12:09:57 pm »
Quote from: TrashAzn on 17 November 2016, 11:35:51 am


I also love when they say things like "I'm thinking of booking you soon" it translates to "I am never going to book you but I am going to bombard you with long winded emails while I wank"


Yes I've just had one "How much notice do you need?" I felt like saying how long is a piece of string *rolls eyes* I said well if you don't know when you can make it you can just call on the day and if not already booked I'll be happy to see you. He said he didn't want to book and then have to cancel as he would hate to waste my time....  He then proceeded to ask about what services I don't do, so I suggested he let me know what he's looking for and I can say yes or no. Turns out he wants anal and owl. I told him to read my profile then just call when he's ready to book.
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10462 on: 17 November 2016, 12:39:38 pm »
Quote from: katrina on 17 November 2016, 12:09:57 pm
Turns out he wants anal and owl.

To be fair, performing anal with an owl on your shoulder would be fucking awesome  ;D
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10463 on: 17 November 2016, 12:40:35 pm »
Quote from: loubyloo on 10 November 2016, 06:53:16 pm
I had this guy call me up with the same request and he even sent a photo of the unsexiest bra I've ever seen!! Haha

This bloke's just phoned me! I had to stifle my giggles!
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10464 on: 17 November 2016, 01:02:22 pm »
The idiots are out in force today. Immediately after Gossard Guy I get this:

Him: Hi, my name's X, can you help me with uploading a movie to Adultwork?
Me: I'm not technical support. Why would you phone me?
Him: Well I looked on some forums and then I saw your profile.
Me: So next time I'm having a problem buying something from Amazon, I'll ring you shall I? Because that would make about as much sense as you ringing a prostitute for technical help.
Him: Erm. Haha.
Me: If you want to make a booking, ring me. If you want technical help with something on Adultwork, contact Adultwork.
Him: Well that's me put in my place...
Me: Yes. Goodbye.
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

Aqua Allegoria

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10465 on: 17 November 2016, 02:57:29 pm »
Quote from: katrina on 17 November 2016, 12:09:57 pm

Yes I've just had one "How much notice do you need?" I felt like saying how long is a piece of string *rolls eyes* I said well if you don't know when you can make it you can just call on the day and if not already booked I'll be happy to see you. He said he didn't want to book and then have to cancel as he would hate to waste my time....  He then proceeded to ask about what services I don't do, so I suggested he let me know what he's looking for and I can say yes or no. Turns out he wants anal and owl. I told him to read my profile then just call when he's ready to book.

Well his profile says he's 29. So imagine I give him a quote for ONE WEEK of my services then I would suggest he better start saving while thinking :)
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katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10466 on: 17 November 2016, 03:33:02 pm »
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 17 November 2016, 12:39:38 pm
To be fair, performing anal with an owl on your shoulder would be fucking awesome  ;D



Yeah I could make a fortune in the circus :-)))



Think I'll have to text him to say the anals fine but I'm struggling to find an owl because I'm never up that late!
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Nia Hope

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10467 on: 17 November 2016, 03:44:32 pm »
Text at stupid a clock,
'Young, hung, male, can arrive in an hour with condoms'
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If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10468 on: 17 November 2016, 04:21:37 pm »
Text just received:    ?
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ParisB

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10469 on: 17 November 2016, 04:25:29 pm »
Quote from: katrina on 14 November 2016, 09:41:58 pm

I'd move that up to 90%!!

 Ha if you have ever worked in Ireland you can put it up to 98 percent
I started a place on the worse place to work for tw and Ireland was first by a long way
Saying that I loved touring Ireland once I got rid of the 98 percent tw and found the 2 percent genuine guys
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