Hi
I've been trying to book you for ages. All I want to do is masterbate against your arsehole and maybe come inside a little

  

Text this morning.
'Been trying to call all night!'

Email correspondence just now, usually I'd ignore but dead bored:

Him: Hi are you available in X today?

Me: Hi can you get back with a time, duration and appropriate notice as per my profile?

Him:I'm rather flexible on what time,

Essentially I am a gay man who has never slept with a woman before and I wish to try it. I see you do spanking and strap on service so maybe that first then I could penetrate you (protected of course) or do you think a girl friend experience would be better?

How about 1 hour?

Me: You clearly haven't even read the strap line, let alone page 1 or the rest of my profile, as to what I'm currently offering and why.

So therefore that's a no from me.


Currently all over my profile including the strap line that I'm only offering GFE, and why. That's even without all the other BS (IMO) he came up with 

Good evening dear thing, I would like to make love with you, are you free for a date?

Dear thing! Sounds like that bloke from carry on films.

Have you never heard of a Swimmerfloaterscissor fetish before?

 

Have you never heard of a Swimmerfloaterscissor fetish before?

 

Pooh I thought everyone had heard of that ! X

Last evening by text.

Him: hey! Are you free tonight? There's 3 of us.

Me: Hey! It's called Multiple Personality Disorder.