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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2664796 times)

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #360 on: 13 April 2010, 12:25:54 am »
I've done plenty of CBT and I haven't found the general stuff to be timewaster fodder, so I wouldn't think one particular subset of it would be so different, but it is. If they want them squeezed and poked I know I've got a good two hours coming, but if they want them punched I know it's all talk.
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Steele

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #361 on: 15 April 2010, 11:42:22 pm »
Had a winner last night - at 3am no less, when I was just heading to bed. I replied due to insomnia, boredom, and unlimited free texts.

"Do u for a ps3x"
"No, cash only."
"awwww"
"Sell it, then you'll have cash."
"dnt u want it like"
"No, I have a Wii, they're better."
"lol the aint"
"Well I like it."
"why dnt u pak in working n go with me lol"
"Because I have a boyfriend and a great job, and you are broke except for a ps3, and I don't know you. Off to bed, goodnight!"
"i aint broke jst got snt 2 ps3 thts al"

Went to sleep after that. Insomnia = cured, at least!
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Previously known as Krystal Champagne

April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #362 on: 15 April 2010, 11:46:48 pm »
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 15 April 2010, 11:42:22 pm
"Do u for a ps3x"

Haha, I can just imagine him knocking at your door with a PlayStation and a hard on!
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Steele

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #363 on: 15 April 2010, 11:50:54 pm »
He's probably about 14  ::)
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Steele

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #364 on: 16 April 2010, 12:28:03 am »
Ugh, it's like I cursed myself by posting in this thread. Had a guy texting from two different numbers, each time enquiring about a booking (different time and date each time which is why I didn't twig it was the same one), then at the point of my confirming and just before giving the address "oh by the way I like to do coke during the appointment, hope that's ok".

Just... wtf? Particularly trying it -twice-. Like I'm going to revise my drugs policy in the space of half an hour? Really?
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #365 on: 16 April 2010, 05:19:30 am »
Oh go on, you know you want to..It will only be talcum powder/flour to make him look well hard! Im sorry, im probably old enough to have a son his age. ;D
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find out exactly how and why a man hoping to escort women for a living has more chance of plaiting fog, and better earning prospects on Jobseekers Allowance.

Maiya

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #366 on: 17 April 2010, 12:31:32 am »
Quote from: Krystal Champagne on 15 April 2010, 11:42:22 pm
Had a winner last night - at 3am no less, when I was just heading to bed. I replied due to insomnia, boredom, and unlimited free texts.

"Do u for a ps3?

Oh! Noooo, I can't believe this!!!
PS3!!!  :D :D :D
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Maiya

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #367 on: 17 April 2010, 12:59:28 pm »
This morning I discovered that in the kitchen there is a water leak in the wall, it has ruined the furniture and I was already nervous about this. My mobile rang, I calmed down and...

ME: Hallo!
CLIENT: Goodmorning, bla bla bla..
... ...
... ....

CLIENT: Can I see you just to speak with you?
ME: Yes
CLIENT: I would like to invite you for dinner.
ME: Okay, I always enjoy going to dinner with someone.
CLIENT: If I pay for dinner and I do not ask you to go to bed, is it fine for you?
ME: Sure, my prices are for the time you spend with me, the after dinner is just a thing  between consenting adults.
CLIENT: But then this means that I must also pay the time that I will spend with you.
ME: Yes
CLIENT: Can you make an exception?
ME: No because this is for me a temporary and part-time job so my time with you has a price.
CLIENT: Please, this time only. Can you make an exception?
ME: I've told you NO... >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(


Later, I had a shower and I feel better now... :D
« Last Edit: 17 April 2010, 01:03:22 pm by Maiya »
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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #368 on: 17 April 2010, 01:36:27 pm »
Ooh, the whiny persistant ones make me feel quite gross, even if they're just on the phone! Showers are always needed afterwards! Glad you managed to wash that creep away. ;D
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cindy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #369 on: 17 April 2010, 06:14:43 pm »
We really ought to split this section into catergories me thinks. ;D
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Jewel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #370 on: 18 April 2010, 05:48:16 pm »
I'm pro categories (and a pro generally). We can have Creep, Whiny Creep, Creepy Creep, Mean Creep, SuperCreep and Arsehole ones.

I don't answer the phone after midnight but do go to bed rather late usually. A call at 2.30am. Ignore it. It rings off and starts again. And then again. The fourth time it rings, I answer - just out of curiosity.

Me: Good morning.
Him: Can you come to my hotel in 30mins?
Me: No.
Him: Why?
Me: Because I don't feel like it.
Him (angry): You f*cking c*nt, why do you put your number on the f*cking site if you don't want to work?!
(In case you are wondering, this is the point where I thought I did want to see him after all, if only to rip his balls out and stuff them down his throat)
Me: On the site, does it say anywhere that I'm ready to come and see you 24 hours a day?
Him (hesitantly): No.
Me: Then why did you call?
Him (almost apologetic): Well, I thought I'd check...
Me: And how many times do I need to ignore your call before you get it that your check is over and I'm not interested?
Him (angry again): You f*cking c*nt, why do you put your number on the f*cking site if you don't want to work?!
Me: Click

Honestly, my goldfish should be proud of himself!
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Maiya

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #371 on: 18 April 2010, 06:39:59 pm »
Sometime, I think that there are more crazy people than I can imagine...

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EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #372 on: 18 April 2010, 06:43:50 pm »
Ooh, that one almost transcends categories, Jewel! Lucky him; he is a Whiny Creep, a Violent Creep AND a Creepy Creep Who Can't Understand Why Women Aren't Falling Over Themselves to Fellate Him. ;D
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cassie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #373 on: 18 April 2010, 08:12:04 pm »
Another category, maybe: Sad desperado.

My phone goes on silent and is not answered after 8pm, I was still up to be able to ignore my phone 8x in succession from the same number around 3am. The caller finally left a voice mail, which I checked in the morning.
It went: What the f**k do I have to f**king do to get a f**king shag!

ahem, maye be call when I'm working?
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Violette

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #374 on: 20 April 2010, 04:00:53 pm »
Got this gem at 3 in the morning.
"Hi v was wondering wud u fancy an hr for 100?"
Awwww Bless!
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