Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2705983 times)

Cat_BBW · « **Reply #8520 on:** 25 January 2016, 12:46:49 pm »

Quote from: carachameleon on 25 January 2016, 05:38:33 am

I haven't had a funny one like this in awhile.... hope it makes you chuckle this Monday morning. It would be great if anyone can think of a suitable reply

Dear Cara

It is my friend's 30th birthday and I would like you to pose for him in an 'endorsement' photograph for his birthday.

Would you be interested in doing this? Scope of work would be:

1. I will send you a Coca Cola bottle with his name on it
2. You will pose for 4 promotional glamour photographs with the Coke bottle in four different clothes/styles, you will use your own makeup and clothes for the photos and arrange to have them taken yourself - they can without your face. They just have to be suggestive but elegant/decent.
3. You will arrange to have the photographs filtered/photoshop so that you are satisfied with your look
4. You will email me the 4 photographs in high resolution and the job is complete!
5. The 4 photographs you send cannot be posted to your instagram or any public web forum by you. They are for our use only.

Please let me know your terms/fees and we can then make arrangements.

"Sure, that will be ?500 up front - but I must warn you that as the photographer retains the copyright to the images, I cannot agree to the exclusive use you are requiring. Also you would need to sign a contract to agree that this is non-commercial and for private one-off use only."

Or something like that, with lots of professional model jargon in it. Plus pick your own price

Hadley · « **Reply #8521 on:** 25 January 2016, 08:21:41 pm »

Have literally just had this phone conversation, whilst tiddling about on SAAFE.

HIM: Hello is this Adultwork?
ME: Sorry, who did you want to speak to?
HIM: I want to speak to Adultwork please. Is that you?
ME: Noooo... although I do advertise there. If you can tell me what my name is, I'll be happy to talk to you? (Chancing that he means well and is someone that has bothered to read my profile - yes I KNOW but it's the last week in January and I'm entertaining all options)
HIM: Adultwork?
ME: Click

Disciplinarian · « **Reply #8522 on:** 26 January 2016, 10:06:53 am »

Text this morning...

"ive always fantsisted about being spanked in a publc place. can we meet ina shopping centre and u can spank me in the cafe?"

I replied...

"I take it the concept of discretion is lost on you."

Lushblossom · « **Reply #8523 on:** 26 January 2016, 01:42:39 pm »

HAd a right one this morning.

I work from home and have never had anybody show up random and out of the blue until today.

A guy discreetly knocked on the door iinitially stating he has cleaned my windows in the past (that was his front) then asked what could I offer him and he had seen me in the past. I realise he meant in my role as an escort but was so shocked he had just arrived out of the blue like that I gave him short shrift and said there is no reason he has lost my details I am easy to find online.

Think he was probably just working in the area and had a free morning or something. I must admit he did look awfully smart and acted nice and polite but I wasn't going to hand out my details or see him 'on the spot' just like that.

I can't recall if I have met him in the past possibly I have.

Anyway I can't have people showing up at the door unannounced I mean really!

I think it would have been better if he had put a note under the door with his name and mobile on it. That way I could at least mentally prepare myself for a booking .....!

Roxy101 · « **Reply #8524 on:** 26 January 2016, 04:51:29 pm »

I never work Tuesdays and today I've been bombarded by complete idiots. To a potentially dangerous stalker, that I've made a thread about in warnings and wasters, to complete idiot callers and texters. Here's a new convo that will not get him a booking (although I'm sure he's just wanting wank fodder)

Him: hi sexy where based? Xxx
Me: *reluctantly gives area*
him: what's your profile name again?
Him: plz
Me: *ignored for five minutes then for some reason gave benefit of doubt cause I'm not as busy as usual*
Him: okay cool. What you do in half an hour?
Me: *now I know he's wasting my time, but I'm bored so I reply* the same as an hour service in 30 minutes.
Him: kissing? Xx
Him: do you? X
Me: *knowing he won't call* please call for a booking. Everything you need to know is on the profile.
Him: ok Hun. Be tonight so check u again sxy xx
Him: hi owo that cim x

-.- Tuesday's are literally wank, and now I know why I never work them. Although have just had a lovely threesome. I'm bi and haven't been with a woman for a while, so has perked me up for the day

.

Red KB · « **Reply #8525 on:** 26 January 2016, 08:02:20 pm »

Call from previous visitor at 9am this morning asking if I'm free. I say no, I start at 10am. Then I advise I'm available 10am until 8pm.

He's been calling me out of hours for weeks now and despite receiving an out of office text with my website address he clearly either doesn't check it for my availability or does and ignores it.

Then he calls back at 10 to 8. I didn't answer and if he carries on he's going on my block list!

Edit...15 calls from him in 90 minutes. So very blocked.

Shewolf · « **Reply #8526 on:** 26 January 2016, 10:04:39 pm »

Quote from: Lushblossom on 26 January 2016, 01:42:39 pm

HAd a right one this morning.

I work from home and have never had anybody show up random and out of the blue until today.

Lushblossom, you must remember if you have seen him before! haha if not, and he is a random man...where did he come from!!??? x

Fabulassie · « **Reply #8527 on:** 27 January 2016, 12:34:51 am »

Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 08:55:54 pm

Quote:'Please forgive me asking and do not think I am being rude or offensive in asking whether you would compassionately reduce you in-call fee for 2 hours as being on a limited pension,my available income is very limited.I would show my appreciation in ensuring our time together is memorable'.

Oh well...that's OK then, as long as it's memorable, who cares about how much he gives me??

The last thing I want from a booking is to remember anything about it.

Fabulassie · « **Reply #8528 on:** 27 January 2016, 12:36:38 am »

Quote from: Shewolf on 01 January 2016, 09:14:58 pm

AND THERE'S MORE:

'I am an exceptionally clean gentleman who has never had any form of STD's as I have not been promiscuous during my marriage. I hope we can freely express our passion and enjoy sex naturally'

Not only a reduction but bareback too, nonetheless!

But he puts it all so eloquently!

hahahahahahaha what a bugger

"I'm glad to hear that you're so health conscious. I, on the other hand, have sex with hundreds of strangers a year, all of whom swear on stacks of Bibles that they're very health conscious. "

Lushblossom · « **Reply #8529 on:** 27 January 2016, 08:03:09 am »

Shewolf it was a bit worrying as initially I thought he might have been a neighbour who had clocked on. That is why I don't do many bookings so as to remain discreet i.e. say one a day tops.

Anyway he was very clean looking can't say I recall him but who knows over the past 3 years must have seen hundreds by now lol.

Did he honestly think I could just suddenly take work on the spot like that as if I am in a walk in parlour hurrumph!

BibiofLeeds · « **Reply #8530 on:** 27 January 2016, 10:04:21 am »

Quote from: Lushblossom on 27 January 2016, 08:03:09 am

Shewolf it was a bit worrying as initially I thought he might have been a neighbour who had clocked on. That is why I don't do many bookings so as to remain discreet i.e. say one a day tops.

Anyway he was very clean looking can't say I recall him but who knows over the past 3 years must have seen hundreds by now lol.

Did he honestly think I could just suddenly take work on the spot like that as if I am in a walk in parlour hurrumph!

Another reason could be his mate who has seen you and been indiscreet and told him where you are.I've had similar happen to me before.

Vichyssoise · « **Reply #8531 on:** 27 January 2016, 10:59:40 am »

Just received this text.
"We are two horny older guys looking for safe sex".
I don't offer threesomes.
I replied.
"Well make sure you always use a condom"

Lushblossom · « **Reply #8532 on:** 27 January 2016, 12:39:03 pm »

Ha ha ha Carnal that really is funny!

littleminxjennifer · « **Reply #8533 on:** 27 January 2016, 12:49:08 pm »

hi are you free today?

yes, i have availability... how long are you looking for and what time?

(eternity passes.. well about half an hour)

oh, well i dunno as i have to work so can't commit to a time.. maybe not today then?

aaaaaaaand delete

BibiofLeeds · « **Reply #8534 on:** 27 January 2016, 02:26:48 pm »

Don't you just feel the urge to ask why they bothered to get in touch?!?

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2705983 times)

Cat_BBW

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Hadley

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Disciplinarian

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Lushblossom

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Roxy101

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Red KB

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Shewolf

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Fabulassie

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Fabulassie

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Lushblossom

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

BibiofLeeds

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Vichyssoise

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Lushblossom

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

littleminxjennifer

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

BibiofLeeds

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