Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2599696 times)

katrina · « **Reply #8505 on:** 21 January 2016, 11:30:37 pm »

Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm

Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!

I'd say that all depends what kind of lollipop, if its a chupa chups then no problem but if its one of them big flat ones, not a chance ;-) lol

trashbaby · « **Reply #8506 on:** 21 January 2016, 11:50:41 pm »

Quote from: katrina on 21 January 2016, 11:30:37 pm

Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!

I'd say that all depends what kind of lollipop, if its a chupa chups then no problem but if its one of them big flat ones, not a chance ;-) lol

HA oh god!! I said no because I was terrified the thing would come off inside me and I'd end up having to explain myself in A&E! Well that's one way to liven up the day I suppose

katrina · « **Reply #8507 on:** 22 January 2016, 12:10:02 am »

Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:50:41 pm

Quote from: katrina on 21 January 2016, 11:30:37 pm
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!

I'd say that all depends what kind of lollipop, if its a chupa chups then no problem but if its one of them big flat ones, not a chance ;-) lol

HA oh god!! I said no because I was terrified the thing would come off inside me and I'd end up having to explain myself in A&E! Well that's one way to liven up the day I suppose

You could always say to him you will let him but only if he lets you do the same to him...lmao picturing the scene haha x

I once let someone put a mars bar in my vagina and he 'ate it out' oh no it was not a turn on at all, it looked like you know what ! Yuk ;-)

LAC-xox · « **Reply #8508 on:** 22 January 2016, 10:24:33 am »

Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm

Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!

I often see a guy who likes to play with random food objects... I've had everything from lollipops (not the big flat ones!) to bananas to a snickers bar haha, I'm like a walking Tesco!

Jezabel · « **Reply #8509 on:** 22 January 2016, 12:50:22 pm »

Pet hate no. 1 guys who can't even be arsed to read the first few line of my profile.....received this email:

1) do you enjoy very deep passionate French kissing with a bit of tongue sucking 2) would you Enjoy a lot of receiving oral

3) would you share a Cuban cigar with me as it is my birthday this week 4) would you travel to warwick to see me

To which I replied Would you read my profile, being in sarky mode. He then had the cheek to respond:

It's too long and I'm far too busy. Answer my questions or simply delete my email

He's in SW England I way out on the South Coast......so he's clearly just spamming and timewasting.....

TrashAzn · « **Reply #8510 on:** 22 January 2016, 03:13:34 pm »

Quote from: LAC-xox on 22 January 2016, 10:24:33 am

Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!

I often see a guy who likes to play with random food objects... I've had everything from lollipops (not the big flat ones!) to bananas to a snickers bar haha, I'm like a walking Tesco!

Lollipops I've done a few times with a regular. Never had a snickers bar inside me and I hope I never see the day that happens. I had an ex boyfriend who did the banana thing it was just the weirdest sensation ever.

Hadley · « **Reply #8511 on:** 22 January 2016, 04:02:45 pm »

I've had a client stick a mini milk up my bum.... a chocolate one, in the days before hardsports were as mainstream as they are now.... he got off on it all melting... guess he wanted to pretend

So, got this gem today by text... "Ru34incalltdy1"

Resisted the temptation to inform him that we don't all have Nokias any more; every phone currently in existence now has predictive text, and every human being on the face of the planet has some kind of text plan / bundle meaning that no, you haven't saved yourself a whopping 10p by messaging me solely using consonants.

xx

trashbaby · « **Reply #8512 on:** 22 January 2016, 04:26:00 pm »

Quote from: TrashAzn on 22 January 2016, 03:13:34 pm

Quote from: LAC-xox on 22 January 2016, 10:24:33 am
Quote from: Poppy_xx on 21 January 2016, 11:20:39 pm
Just had one who wants to put a lollipop up my bum!

I often see a guy who likes to play with random food objects... I've had everything from lollipops (not the big flat ones!) to bananas to a snickers bar haha, I'm like a walking Tesco!

Lollipops I've done a few times with a regular. Never had a snickers bar inside me and I hope I never see the day that happens. I had an ex boyfriend who did the banana thing it was just the weirdest sensation ever.

I know somebody who shoved a mars bar up her coochie for a boyfriend, two days later she had a case of thrush so bad she was walking like john wayne

poor girl!!

LinaBham · « **Reply #8513 on:** 22 January 2016, 04:34:31 pm »

Quote from: Jezabel on 22 January 2016, 12:50:22 pm

Pet hate no. 1 guys who can't even be arsed to read the first few line of my profile.....received this email:

1) do you enjoy very deep passionate French kissing with a bit of tongue sucking 2) would you Enjoy a lot of receiving oral

3) would you share a Cuban cigar with me as it is my birthday this week 4) would you travel to warwick to see me

To which I replied Would you read my profile, being in sarky mode. He then had the cheek to respond:

It's too long and I'm far too busy. Answer my questions or simply delete my email

He's in SW England I way out on the South Coast......so he's clearly just spamming and timewasting.....

Had exactly the same request last year, when I was still new to AW. Don't know if it is same guy - he had positive feedback, made the booking trough AW and some mins before booking time he called me and apologised he is late because of accident in motorway. I had other client coming straight after him, said him that politely even offered him 30mins booking if he comes late, but he started to call me every 5 mins in a row! He never showed. Finally I got the idea that he is tw. Despite that he was still texting me on aw....I blocked him after he asked me to book hotel room in Coventry for an outcall lol
Now I am quite experienced with spotting tws. Mostly of long emails with lots of questions or details are just wanking fantasists. ( As most of us know it )
But still can't understand where they get positive feedbacks from!

BibiofLeeds · « **Reply #8514 on:** 23 January 2016, 12:42:36 am »

Yes I had someone similar and he also replied with something along the lines of 'Too many profiles and too busy to read'.I replies with 'You clearly aren't fussy about who you see nor are you committed enough then for me to believe you are genuine therefore why should I bother answering your arrogant sounding emails?'
And blocked!

Shewolf · « **Reply #8515 on:** 23 January 2016, 08:49:54 am »

Quote from: BibiofLeeds on 23 January 2016, 12:42:36 am

Yes I had someone similar and he also replied with something along the lines of 'Too many profiles and too busy to read'.I replies with 'You clearly aren't fussy about who you see nor are you committed enough then for me to believe you are genuine therefore why should I bother answering your arrogant sounding emails?'
And blocked!
[/

I like your reply to him. Trouble is, in relation to arrogant bastards like that, anything you say to them is like water off a duck's back. I truly hate men like that.

foxy roxy · « **Reply #8516 on:** 23 January 2016, 10:28:43 pm »

'Answer my questions or delete my emails' is an easy one. Bye bye and delete. he's messaged me before I think i said something along the lines of, no problem, BYE! I shouldnt even have given him the courtesy or that short response.

KittenCandy · « **Reply #8517 on:** 25 January 2016, 01:30:19 am »

I forgot to remove my number off AW this weekend

I usually don't forget. I'll have to set an alarm to remind me next time. I am so upset. Not only did I waste ?2.40 but I switched on my phone to "Baby, I want to eat your pussy and you to suck my cock then fuck you silly"- I was going to respond with "ewww no thanks but checked that the message was sent like two days ago so no point. I am thinking it's either a) They send that to purposely wind you up b) they want to get a reaction or c) the escorts they usually book accept a booking from them communicating like that so they think it's ok or d) They are just retarded. me thinks it's D.
" I found your number on AW,where are you based?" (location is just under the number, no?) AW is so easy to use as all the important bits are in a specific section so not like you have to scroll through or read through a novel to find, age, rates or location. it's either a) They do that to wind you up or b) They are retarded. Me thinks B.and "don't think I am wasting your time but wanted to say, seeing your pretty face online is so good, you are sexy blah blah" (I don't even show my face though) I am just tempted to delete messages without reading them now like Just close my eyes and delete not like I accept bookings via text anyway, they are always ignored. sigh, So this is what I get for forgetting to remove my number.

carachameleon · « **Reply #8518 on:** 25 January 2016, 05:38:33 am »

I haven't had a funny one like this in awhile.... hope it makes you chuckle this Monday morning. It would be great if anyone can think of a suitable reply

Dear Cara

It is my friend's 30th birthday and I would like you to pose for him in an 'endorsement' photograph for his birthday.

Would you be interested in doing this? Scope of work would be:

1. I will send you a Coca Cola bottle with his name on it
2. You will pose for 4 promotional glamour photographs with the Coke bottle in four different clothes/styles, you will use your own makeup and clothes for the photos and arrange to have them taken yourself - they can without your face. They just have to be suggestive but elegant/decent.
3. You will arrange to have the photographs filtered/photoshop so that you are satisfied with your look
4. You will email me the 4 photographs in high resolution and the job is complete!
5. The 4 photographs you send cannot be posted to your instagram or any public web forum by you. They are for our use only.

Please let me know your terms/fees and we can then make arrangements.

littleminxjennifer · « **Reply #8519 on:** 25 January 2016, 08:47:19 am »

just turned my phone on and 5 minutes later a call comes through from a bloke barely able to string a sentence together, sounding really drunk and asking if i'm from an area, to be fair, only a few miles from where i am.

his opener "hiya you an escort aye?" followed by some unintelligible garbled bollocks. asked him to repeat and i simply can't make him out. i used to be fluent in drunkenese, but no idea what he was trying to ask.
hung up after saying i wouldn't be able to take his booking

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2599696 times)

katrina

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

trashbaby

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

katrina

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

LAC-xox

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Jezabel

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

TrashAzn

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Hadley

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

trashbaby

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

LinaBham

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

BibiofLeeds

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Shewolf

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

foxy roxy

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

KittenCandy

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

carachameleon

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

littleminxjennifer

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!