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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2600081 times)

Midsstudent

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7770 on: 18 September 2015, 08:03:44 pm »
So, I get a call from this guy when I tell him I'm fully booked and the best way to reach me is via AW, he insists on me giving him permission to email me. I tell him my profile says it's the best way to reach me and he tells me he can't read. After all this I get this email:

Quote
hello

please can u reply to this email

1can u u strip seach me p!ease can u exp!ain how u do that to me

2 can u do anal play on me

3 can u wash md before u spank me

and after u have do anal play

4 i had a lower neck and spine op in 2011

5 can u use a strap on on me please can you

explain how and where you would put it on me

6 can you wee in my mouth please can you

explain how you would do it to me
7 can you only spank me medium

8 can I do any anything to you in the service

9 how far away from the train station r u

10 can you do a 800 meet with me

11 I hope to hear from you very soon

Then he tries to call me again. What the actual fuck?!

cheesypeas

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7771 on: 18 September 2015, 10:10:19 pm »
It's National Guys Who Won't Listen Day.
He rings, books and says, '...See you there' and slams
down the phone before I give him the address.
Two  minutes later I book another chap.

Soon Mr Slammy texts me that he's in a cab and needs the address.
I ignore, I hate texts anyway.

He arrives at the tube station and rings...all expectant.
Too bad.
« Last Edit: 20 September 2015, 01:08:31 am by cheesypeas »
Random idle thoughs...Can I manage 100 sit ups a day for a year...?

BibiofLeeds

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7772 on: 20 September 2015, 01:03:02 am »
Something in the water today for sure.Got an email asking to meet tomorrow when every advert tells them I don't work on Sundays then just got an email from a chap asking me what ages I am happy to meet with. I notice he doesn't state his age when asking so my gut feeling was timewaster but I answered anyway and told him 21 and over.Can't you make an exception he asks (yeah mate just for you..) I reply politely and confirm what I've already said.Ok I won't pester you he answers me (like why would you when I've stated my position twice?) but then sends an email asking what age is the youngest I have seen because he is curious...feck off dipstick! :FF

Erotic flower

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7773 on: 20 September 2015, 02:00:12 pm »
Have recieved  very long pointless emails this weekend  no bookings just bullshit!
Where do they find the time to write all that nonsense ?! ::)

Curvygal

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7774 on: 20 September 2015, 04:38:19 pm »
3 texts when I turned my phone on today:

One at 5.05 this morning:  Are you near **?  (Major road where all the bars and clubs are) - No mate I'm at home in bed sleeping

Next guy:

7.57 :  It's not connecting??? - Before 8am on a Sunday morning?  Hmmm wonder why.

8.05:  Well can I book?? -

Curvygal

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7775 on: 21 September 2015, 12:33:20 am »
It's been a weird old day today, no genuine bookings but a whole load of timewasters.

Guy wants an incall.

Me: Sorry I'm not actually doing incalls today, I can do an outcall or my next day doing incalls is tomorrow. 
Him:  Ah my girlfriend will probably be sorting me out tomorrow.  Maybe.

I almost spat my diet coke out.  Speechless.

littleminxjennifer

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7776 on: 21 September 2015, 02:18:36 am »
not strictly escort but i was on cam earlier and one lovely young man asked me if i would seductively eat my boogers for him!!!!!

Tinkerbell

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7777 on: 21 September 2015, 08:47:18 am »
Someone I've never heard of before, 'Paulo', has messaged me this morning to say that he gets to England tomorrow and will allow me to swallow 2 loads of his cum. How thoroughly bloody decent of him.

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7778 on: 21 September 2015, 01:34:37 pm »
Someone I've never heard of before, 'Paulo', has messaged me this morning to say that he gets to England tomorrow and will allow me to swallow 2 loads of his cum. How thoroughly bloody decent of him.

Genuinely laughing my tits off here!!!!! :D :D :D

Red KB

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7779 on: 21 September 2015, 01:58:33 pm »
"I'm looking for someone on Wednesday who can give me a good fucking. Nothing mechanical, in fact someone who is willing to relax me and the repeatedly fuck and suck me until we can go no more. Ideal scenario:

I have to visit your house for some reason maybe a delivery or whatever. When there, you decide that your going to have me. You make a pass at me and then we go on a afternoon journey. There's no rush, you want me to explore your body, do things that you've always dreamed of doing. We can fuck I the living room, kitchen, wherever then you will lead me up into your bed. We will get under the covers and properly fuck. You will be insatiable, however I cum and there will be no rush, you will expect, demand that I continue pleasing you with my hands, tounge toys etc. you will insist on me handling your tits, milking them etc.

If you're the sort of girl who works from home (a nice clean place) that we can use properly for the session then I'm interested

I want to pay for the experience not the time so quote me."

I simply replied that I couldn't help! Thing is I recognised his user name and he'd actually visited me when I first started without any of this crappy nonsense.
We're women, it's what we do. I just get paid for it.

Kay

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7780 on: 21 September 2015, 02:40:04 pm »
My house is pretty small, but it annoys me when clients ask to use my living room. I just think... No, it's my private space!
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

englishrebecca121

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7781 on: 21 September 2015, 03:46:02 pm »
After explaining i am fully booked till sat
"what time do you finish ?i have enough money to perhaps persuade you to make time for me. age has some benifits

er first come first served fuck off!!
honestly im booked all week and most have had at least 8 enquires today READ THE FUCKING PAGE!!! GRRR

kate_x

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7782 on: 21 September 2015, 07:17:54 pm »
My house is pretty small, but it annoys me when clients ask to use my living room. I just think... No, it's my private space!

Me too! Had a regular a few weeks ago who wanted to lick me out in every room in my flat, living room, bedrooms, kitchen you name it and then guy last week who comes for a spanking wanted it in the living room as he "liked the natural environment" lol

Curvygal

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7783 on: 22 September 2015, 04:11:39 pm »
And the winner of today's wanker of the day award....

'' Hi I'm calling on behalf of my friend, I'm just basically trying to get him some cheap sex'.

I politely informed him that there's nothing cheap about me and hung up.

littleminxjennifer

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #7784 on: 22 September 2015, 04:18:39 pm »
Hi I'm looking for someone who can take my fat 12 incher