These dudes got sunstroke?
I asked him how long he's like...
He said 15 minutes...or less

Me-'5 minutes?'
Him-'Yes I haven't much time' (polite voice)
Me-What do you usually pay for 5 minutes?
Him- 'Err.....20 pounds'

I just couldn't help laughing...and he sounded a bit embarassed.

OMG well spotted Grapes!

wrong thread, sorry!

Hi Ladies,

OMG am I glad to find this thread.  Had a week of weird requests and annoying morons and was looking for somewhere to vent.   

Ok here goes....

1.  Got an email from a guy who has just finished studying reflexology and wanted me to come round so he could give me a "free" foot massage so he could practise.  Wanted me to get dressed up, paint my toenails, travel to his house at my own expense and spend an hour of unpaid time with him rubbing my feet.    (I also posted this in warnings and timewasters)

2.  Had a guy emailing me 5 times a day for a week.  This started last Friday.  He wanted to book me for 3 hours while he was in London the following week (today).  Every day, every single flaming day he was emailing babbling on with nonsense.  He likes my pics...  He likes my name...  He has a new name for me...  He has had a bad day at work... Am I a siren...  Whats my favourite wine...  blah blah blah  Still no booking made. 

Wednesday he says he is waiting to confirm his hotel.  Then yesterday I get a message saying he cant confirm his hotel yet as his credit card got declined and needs to pay in cash on arrival.  Then this morning he emails to say hotel now booked.  I ask for reservation number and details...  He doesnt have them yet.   Then at 4.15 pm he asks if I can be there at 5.  I respond telling him that as he has only just found out his hotel and now changed from 9pm to 5pm I cannot get there in 45 minutes without the aid of a helicopter with onboard stylist and make up artist.   So he says "ok you can come at 6pm babe, but you have messed up my schedule now - oh and I only want you for an hour as I have to go out later".   I tell him to stop wasting my time - F'off and I block him. 

3.  When I think it can get no worse, I get a message from "well hung stud" (his words not mine) asking to meet.  I ask for home address, post code and phone number.    He says he cant meet at his house cos his Mrs is home.  He is trying to organise a mates house.  He doesn't want to give me the address as he doesnt want to get his mate in trouble so he would meet me at the end of the road and take me there.  Then he says - "if I cant get a hotel, I have a mattress in a storeroom at my dads shop - I can get us some candles and champagne and make it cosy"    I politely decline and block him.

Whats going on this week?  Do they have sunstroke?

Ok rant over.

Blocked all three!!

"Good evening,

I am a Virgin interested in coming to see you.

I am a young male, early 20s. Professional and polite. I imagine my first meeting with yourself I may be a bit shy & overexcited.

I am currently based in the South West but within the next 4-6 weeks move up to the outskirts of Nottingham.

Could you talk about the levels of roughness & passion allowed please? Would I be able to slap your ass? or grab your hair & neck? Not necessarily pull or choke though?

Would a 2 or 3 hour booking be good? If I wanted to explore explore your body and try a variety of positions.

I can provide any details if needed.

Thanks for any advice,
Kind regards,"

Blah blah blah

Had this brilliant voicemail earlier this morning.

'I would like to see you, I am on my way to you and will be with you at 11:30'.

No idea how he can be on his way to way to me without even a postcode, never mind the fact he doesn't even have an appointment.

Oh and the little fact that I don't even do incalls or same day bookings.

caller.. where you are? what do you do, what time you close?!
me , im not booking you bye