Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2599111 times)

Fabulassie · « **Reply #6675 on:** 10 January 2015, 09:42:28 am »

I hate being asked if there's anything I don't do. I'm like, the list of things I cannot and will not do is literally infinite. Can't fly, levitate, bench press a lorry, speak Farsi, play the ukelele...

DustedWithSugar · « **Reply #6676 on:** 10 January 2015, 12:52:48 pm »

Quote from: Fabulassie on 10 January 2015, 09:42:28 am

I hate being asked if there's anything I don't do. I'm like, the list of things I cannot and will not do is literally infinite. Can't fly, levitate, bench press a lorry, speak Farsi, play the ukelele...

hahahhahahahahaha you cracked me

I don't like answering this same questions for hundredth time. Where I am from, how long I live here, do I REALLY like this job (is it that weird?

)? I know it's all small talk but it's so tiresome!

Wailing Banshee · « **Reply #6677 on:** 10 January 2015, 05:01:25 pm »

Just been catching up on this thread after ages! And lo and behold I get a stupid call so thought I'd share:

Him: Do you do massage? (I HATE it when they can't even say hello first so was irritated)
Me: Yes I do.
Him: What kind of massage?
Me: Well, um a sensual massage...
Him: What other sort?
Me: What other sort of massage?
Him: Yes.
Me: Um, do you mean other services?
Him: Yes, do you do blow jobs?
Me: Yes, of course I am an escort!
Him: OK, so where are you from?
Me: I'm based in Hounslow
Him: No I mean where are you from?
Me: I'm in Hounslow! (OK, I am pretending not to understand, what does it matter where I am from)
Him: No, what nationality are you? (HOW COULD HE NOT TELL FROM MY VERY ENGLISH ACCENT?!)
Me: English
Him: Are the photos on your website you? (He has seen my website but needs to ask all the stupid questions?)
Me: Of course they are!
Him: How much is it?
Me: Didn't you see from my website? (increasingly snotty with him now)
Him: Can I have an appointment or what?
Me: No (Hangs up)

TeenKylie · « **Reply #6678 on:** 11 January 2015, 09:45:12 am »

Quote from: MinxyLydia on 10 January 2015, 05:01:25 pm

Just been catching up on this thread after ages! And lo and behold I get a stupid call so thought I'd share:

Him: Do you do massage? (I HATE it when they can't even say hello first so was irritated)
Me: Yes I do.
Him: What kind of massage?
Me: Well, um a sensual massage...
Him: What other sort?
Me: What other sort of massage?
Him: Yes.
Me: Um, do you mean other services?
Him: Yes, do you do blow jobs?
Me: Yes, of course I am an escort!
Him: OK, so where are you from?
Me: I'm based in Hounslow
Him: No I mean where are you from?
Me: I'm in Hounslow! (OK, I am pretending not to understand, what does it matter where I am from)
Him: No, what nationality are you? (HOW COULD HE NOT TELL FROM MY VERY ENGLISH ACCENT?!)
Me: English
Him: Are the photos on your website you? (He has seen my website but needs to ask all the stupid questions?)
Me: Of course they are!
Him: How much is it?
Me: Didn't you see from my website? (increasingly snotty with him now)
Him: Can I have an appointment or what?
Me: No (Hangs up)

He wouldn't of even got past "Do you do massage" with me. I really hate it when they ask that, sounds like they think I'm working in some kind of brothel establishment!!

sourgrapes · « **Reply #6679 on:** 11 January 2015, 11:09:32 am »

He wouldn't of even got past "Do you do massage" with me. I really hate it when they ask that, sounds like they think I'm working in some kind of brothel establishment!!
[/quote]

Some guys just don't quite know how to initiate a conversation about our services, some really like a bit of a back rub to help them relax, and others mean "hand relief" when they say massage. A brief massage and some friendly touch are a wonderful thing - I don't know why you would feel that casts aspersions on your character somehow. Also, there's nothing wrong with working in a parlour or massage establishment. I never feel insulted by that question - much preferable to "awight? do you do anal, darling?" Each to their own....

Bluetits · « **Reply #6680 on:** 11 January 2015, 12:20:45 pm »

When they say do you do massage I say is it just massage you wanted? They might say no more than that. They need to specify because yes some just want massage and HR (very few) and are looking for it cheaper which I don't do, most mean massage as in full service. I have my doubts with those calls but don't always write them off (depending on tone as with all other calls). It doesn't often lead to a booking though.

Fabulassie · « **Reply #6681 on:** 11 January 2015, 12:35:33 pm »

I just say, "Sure, I can do massage as part of your booking if you like." I mean, of course I can. I'm not terrible at it, either. But I don't offer a "just massage with hand relief" service for those looking for a reduced rate.

Treetop · « **Reply #6682 on:** 11 January 2015, 03:12:50 pm »

Got this time waster (at least I hope he's a time waster for the brides sake!) few min ago. I'm just cringing reading this. I mean ewwwwwww! What a fantasist creepazoid. BLOCKED!

Well the 16th is my wedding

Thrill fantasy naughty n wrong yes but love a buzz and know it's crazy but if your game?

Come to the wedding!!

My mate will pretend your his new gf etc so be with him but.... We (me and my mate pick you up) I'll fuck you in the car on way to the church...

You come to reception after with my mate... Fun and fuck you again at reception

And finally we slip off to the wedding bedroom suite and go again!!!

Fucking and sitting on the grooms huge fat ten inch black cock as the brides downstairs!!!

Then end if night say goodbye to the bride etc but with my cum deep in your pussy and soaking your thong!!

Wrong crazy I know but I'm asking and willing to pay etc if your game?? Xx

Fabulassie · « **Reply #6683 on:** 11 January 2015, 03:17:40 pm »

Ask him what the catering is like.

Treetop · « **Reply #6684 on:** 11 January 2015, 03:28:45 pm »

Yeah maybe I should go if it's fancy with canap?s! Lol. Could do with getting out the house... imaginary canap?s and champagne, imaginary pretty dresses, and an imaginary 10inch cock at an imaginary wedding sounds a good deal now I think about it..... lol.

Fabulassie · « **Reply #6685 on:** 11 January 2015, 04:08:16 pm »

Quote from: thehappyhooker on 11 January 2015, 03:28:45 pm

Yeah maybe I should go if it's fancy with canap?s! Lol. Could do with getting out the house... imaginary canap?s and champagne, imaginary pretty dresses, and an imaginary 10inch cock at an imaginary wedding sounds a good deal now I think about it..... lol.

You mean an imaginary 10" black cock. Although the imaginary ones are almost always "black."

Red KB · « **Reply #6686 on:** 11 January 2015, 04:30:08 pm »

Quote from: thehappyhooker on 11 January 2015, 03:12:50 pm

Got this time waster (at least I hope he's a time waster for the brides sake!) few min ago. I'm just cringing reading this. I mean ewwwwwww! What a fantasist creepazoid. BLOCKED!

Well the 16th is my wedding

Thrill fantasy naughty n wrong yes but love a buzz and know it's crazy but if your game?

Come to the wedding!!

My mate will pretend your his new gf etc so be with him but.... We (me and my mate pick you up) I'll fuck you in the car on way to the church...

You come to reception after with my mate... Fun and fuck you again at reception

And finally we slip off to the wedding bedroom suite and go again!!!

Fucking and sitting on the grooms huge fat ten inch black cock as the brides downstairs!!!

Then end if night say goodbye to the bride etc but with my cum deep in your pussy and soaking your thong!!

Wrong crazy I know but I'm asking and willing to pay etc if your game?? Xx

I've had this one today. Funnily enough I didn't reply...

He's got a photo on his profile. Doesn't look 10 inches to me!

Kay · « **Reply #6687 on:** 11 January 2015, 04:55:56 pm »

I'm always tempted to say to these blokes: "I think you meant to say centimetres, not inches?"

TeenKylie · « **Reply #6688 on:** 11 January 2015, 06:59:40 pm »

Quote from: sourgrapes on 11 January 2015, 11:09:32 am

He wouldn't of even got past "Do you do massage" with me. I really hate it when they ask that, sounds like they think I'm working in some kind of brothel establishment!!

Quote

Some guys just don't quite know how to initiate a conversation about our services, some really like a bit of a back rub to help them relax, and others mean "hand relief" when they say massage. A brief massage and some friendly touch are a wonderful thing - I don't know why you would feel that casts aspersions on your character somehow. Also, there's nothing wrong with working in a parlour or massage establishment. I never feel insulted by that question - much preferable to "awight? do you do anal, darling?" Each to their own....

It's nothing to do with the actual "massage" side of things. I am now a qualified beauty therapist, on my third year! I love giving my clients massages. I offer a full GFE

The problem I have is, that they clearly haven't read anything when asking that (It says so clearly I love giving massage as well as my other services) They haven't addressed me by my name most importantly, and it's not that I have an issue with people who work in a brothel or "massage parlour" work, it's just I would never work in one. The question "Do you do massage?" is what I personally associate with that kind of work, and I don't want to be seen as that, as its not what I am. I want to be seen as what I am, a independent sex worker.

BJC · « **Reply #6689 on:** 12 January 2015, 10:44:16 am »

Quote from: thehappyhooker on 11 January 2015, 03:12:50 pm

Got this time waster (at least I hope he's a time waster for the brides sake!) few min ago. I'm just cringing reading this. I mean ewwwwwww! What a fantasist creepazoid. BLOCKED!

Well the 16th is my wedding

Thrill fantasy naughty n wrong yes but love a buzz and know it's crazy but if your game?

Come to the wedding!!

My mate will pretend your his new gf etc so be with him but.... We (me and my mate pick you up) I'll fuck you in the car on way to the church...

You come to reception after with my mate... Fun and fuck you again at reception

And finally we slip off to the wedding bedroom suite and go again!!!

Fucking and sitting on the grooms huge fat ten inch black cock as the brides downstairs!!!

Then end if night say goodbye to the bride etc but with my cum deep in your pussy and soaking your thong!!

Wrong crazy I know but I'm asking and willing to pay etc if your game?? Xx

WHAT a fantasist!
Can you imagine if (by some billion to one chance) it was genuine though? At the "if anyone knows of any lawful reason that these two may not be Wed, speak now or forever hold your piece..." part? Would be interesting if you stood up and announced "I'm a hooker the grooms hired to fuck through the wedding ceremony"
Just a thought!

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2599111 times)

Fabulassie

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

DustedWithSugar

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Wailing Banshee

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TeenKylie

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

sourgrapes

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Bluetits

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Fabulassie

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Treetop

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Fabulassie

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Treetop

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Fabulassie

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Red KB

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Kay

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TeenKylie

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BJC

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!