I don't normally post on this thread but I had this cracker of a proposal today, I found the translations hilarious 

Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you please come to Turkey? How much you'll pay if you want.
No Turkey fat lady like you
I'm looking for on the internet can not find.
My e-mail address **************
I look forward to your reply.

 
I made a translation to be understood from other sites
I've been translating for understanding from other sites
 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Would you come to Turkey?
How much money you want to give it to you.
Like you don't have the fat lady in Turkey.
I can't find you on the Internet the fat lady.
My email address is ****************
I'm waiting for the answer.


 
Hi, my English is not good.
I love fat women.
I live in Turkey.
Can you just step in to Turkey?
how much to give.
Like you don't have a fat woman in Turkey.
I'm looking for on the Internet as you can not find the fat lady.
My email address is *****************
I'm waiting for your response simple person.

He's doing the rounds 

Yeah I saw he had forwarded it to about 20 others aswell  the last line had me in stitches too

Started out as a normal enquiry, then the off-topic questions started..
"many I ask where your leaving to if leaving [county]"
I said when I'd be away on holiday and when I'd be leaving for definite.

"so are you going away for uni then just been nosey lols also any chance off a few extra picts to get me through tonight till we finally meet ? possible email to me x"
I said no to both and that I don't have any concrete plans for what I'll do next.

"haha no plans you must have some reason to move away and something you want to do ??"
I explained that [county] is an escorting desert and it's hard to make a living here, I want to live in a city and maybe train in massage and doing nails so I can get a part time job in a salon (this may or may not be true, my personal life and day job are nothing to do with my escorting!).

"ah I see fair enough but big cities as im originally from one has lots off cheap European escorts!!! and apartments cost big bucks will be good to have a chat tomorrow with ya and im dout your going to be a escort all your live ...
part time and normal job think is way forward x"

I said "No offence but I can make my own choices, I'll be checking emails tomorrow morning xx"

.. Didn't want to tell him to get lost but I'm definitely not going to see him now.. Doing incalls, moving to a city and going full time are big decisions which I didn't ask for his useless advice on.
He seems to think escorts are jobless idiots, doesn't support the idea of escorting being a legitimate career choice and I have no words for the 'cheap Europeans' comments. I think the World Cup has stolen all my usual clients

I'd have told him to mind his own beeswax from the off.Very nosey and boundary pushy.
Well heres mine.
Sounded pleasant enough 'Can I book you at 8pm please?' I went through the booking procedure and told him I would text him the address details...as he was putting the phone down 'I'm so hard for you baby pant,pant...'.Booking cancelled!

easiest money ever today:

That punter has cancelled last minute last week, he has wasted my evening. Today he's rang again and wanted to book again 3 hrs next week. I've told him - OK, but only if you pay 1/3 today and if you cancel again, you have lost it.
He said OK.

Didn't want to share info about myself, so simply drove down to his place to get cash off him on my way to sunbed.
Got cash, spent few minutes making sure he's happy with my looks and discussed the next week meeting details.

3 hours later got text - cancelled. I've asked if he wants to reschedule.
No, he didn't.

O dear....  I must have been scary 

Must've bottled it

Had a guy the other night ask to book a bit later than I'd usually offer but I agreed to it anyway as I've got less than 2 weeks left before my month off, he texts asking for an hour later than agreed. I'm reluctant but agree because I've turned down other bookings. He then texts again saying he's got to work later than expected, can we delay by another hour.. I tell him no, the town is an hours drive from mine and I'd like to be in bed before 2am, would he like to rebook for another day? He replies saying he's sorry and didn't know he'd be staying later, doesn't mention rebooking.. Wasted my night.
One of my ex-regs who I really like asked to book at a mid-evening slot but I had agreed to see this TW and it would be unfair to cancel.
I was so annoyed, he wasted my night and I don't believe the working late thing. He probably went out for a few drinks with friends and wanted to stay out longer and thought I'd just turn up at stupid o'clock.

Last appointment is 9pm if it's for the hour with me and only with prior notice as I ain't sitting about all nite waiting on the phone going when I could be doing loads of other things but if someone pre books then I am more than happy to see them up until 10pm x

Ha ha, almost identical with one older guy Ive seen last week, he called me yesterday asking who I am as he dont remember why he saved my number and who am I 

I politely rememberd him as I have good memory and I knew he is a bit older and might forget things