Words actually fail me!

I have been longing to have my penis amputated as a sexual punishment
but i have been too scared to cut it myself. I am a fit and good
looking guy in my thirties. I could not control myself from
ejaculation whatever i did so i decided some years ago to pay a woman
in the Philippines to amputate me and cut off the problem. I first
tried to tie a thin wire extremely tight around the dickhead so all
orgasms became unpleasant painful but it did not stop me. My orgasms
felt like a scissor when my dick contracted and spayed but once it
started it was to late. It was very painful. I started to ejaculate by
myself after some days and always a lot even without touching my penis
at all so finally i got ashamed and tired to have erection in the
public and get a lot of semen in my pants, bed and so on so put my
erected penis in front of a filipina woman on a table. She first tied
the base of the penis very hard, put anesthesia lotion, hold the
dickhead tight and suddenly cut it off with a razorblade sharp knife.
Since five years my head is gone and about half of the shaft. I cant
ejaculate any semen and sperm at all anymore. Its impossible but my
cock is still standing hard and i still feel the strong need to spray
but its comportable to continuously be controlled and now be able to
behave. Before i could not think about anything else but sexy women,
their pussies and to make them pregnant but now i started to change
the way i think and look at women. That is good and respectful.
Before my penis was 18 centimeter and now its 6 centimeter when
erected. I want to meet a domina / mistress to have a session with
(email if possible to begin with) who can give me sexual massage and
handjobs. Its a punishment cause i cant cum but that is the best part
of it. Its real humiliation. Please let me know if that is okay for
you.
I will attach a few photos of how my penis look before the partial
penectomy but do not open them if you dont like to look at a big hard
erected cock. If you are interested to look at photos of how my
erected penis look now when its amputated then write to me
Of course I'll be writing for the rest of the photos
