Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2600067 times)

happyhappyjoyjoy · « **Reply #4665 on:** 19 October 2013, 03:38:12 am »

silly man: Hi I was wondering if you were available today for an outcall

Me: yes I am

Silly man: how much

Me: (go through price list)

Sillyman: oh thats a bit more expensive then what I thought

Me:ok well thats a shame

Sillyman: you see I was looking for something free

Me: sorry, you were calling a prostitute for free sex, you're doing it wrong

Sillyman: well couldn't you do it one off for free sex

Me: I tell you what I'll do you a deal you have thirty seconds in order to convince me to have sex with you for free, if you convince me then I will see you, GO!

Sillyman, well I love oral and I have a big cock, oh shit what else, erm I'm fit, er, I really fancy you, oh er, I dunno this is hard.

Me: I'm sorry but the answer I was looking for is that you are George Clooney, I'm afraid you havn't been successful at this time but have you enjoyed yourself,

Sillyman: *Hangs up*

I was so proud of myself I wish I had this call recorded!

Cat_BBW · « **Reply #4666 on:** 19 October 2013, 02:52:02 pm »

Quote from: happyhappyjoyjoy on 19 October 2013, 03:38:12 am

silly man: Hi I was wondering if you were available today for an outcall

Me: yes I am

Silly man: how much

Me: (go through price list)

Sillyman: oh thats a bit more expensive then what I thought

Me:ok well thats a shame

Sillyman: you see I was looking for something free

Me: sorry, you were calling a prostitute for free sex, you're doing it wrong

Sillyman: well couldn't you do it one off for free sex

Me: I tell you what I'll do you a deal you have thirty seconds in order to convince me to have sex with you for free, if you convince me then I will see you, GO!

Sillyman, well I love oral and I have a big cock, oh shit what else, erm I'm fit, er, I really fancy you, oh er, I dunno this is hard.

Me: I'm sorry but the answer I was looking for is that you are George Clooney, I'm afraid you havn't been successful at this time but have you enjoyed yourself,

Sillyman: *Hangs up*

I was so proud of myself I wish I had this call recorded!

I absolutely LOVE this!!

wonderlass · « **Reply #4667 on:** 20 October 2013, 10:37:43 am »

Lovely call yesterday -

"Hello, where are you based?"
"It tells you on my profile."
"I know, but which station are you near to?"
"It also tells you that on my profile but it's 'name-of-station'"
"I just had a number of requests."
"Sure, go ahead."
"Can you get hold of any drugs?"
"No, what the hell?"
*click*

Yep, drug-addled is what I am. I could make a killing in dealing paracetamol. Got some Berocca as well, if anyone's interested.

amy · « **Reply #4668 on:** 20 October 2013, 10:43:57 am »

Quote from: wonderlass on 20 October 2013, 10:37:43 am

Got some Berocca as well, if anyone's interested.

*looks interested*

Pink~Princess · « **Reply #4669 on:** 21 October 2013, 07:54:57 pm »

I just had some guy phone me up for domination which I don't do and he knows it but he said he thought that I would still like a domestic service. As if?? Whats wrong with these people?? Lol!

TeenKylie · « **Reply #4670 on:** 21 October 2013, 10:30:44 pm »

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 October 2013, 07:54:57 pm

I just had some guy phone me up for domination which I don't do and he knows it but he said he thought that I would still like a domestic service. As if?? Whats wrong with these people?? Lol!

A hell of a lot...

FakePlasticTrees · « **Reply #4671 on:** 22 October 2013, 09:03:54 am »

I've had a few emails (through my gmail account) from the same guy asking if I'm available so I eventually replied saying "When would you like a booking, where are you situated etc". He then replies "do you have a face pic or more naughty ones". I immediately knew he was a TW and replied "If you would like a booking then please pay a deposit fee of ?50 and we can go from there". To which I get this response....

"fick u and ur deposit whore I deposit cum u little bitch"

☝😒

Luna · « **Reply #4672 on:** 22 October 2013, 12:24:04 pm »

I am an erotic masseuse, I just do massage and hand jobs, with a little strip tease and i'm wearing just a thong for the massage.

I have a guy call me today who says something along the lines of, I want a massage, are you available now? I tell him i'll be available in an hour. He asks my address, I say I only give that out once a booking has been made. Then he goes on about how he's this rich businessman who doesn't waste peoples' time and is trustworthy blah blah blah. Anyway, I text him my website for him to browse and come back to me if he wants a booking. Then we have this text exchange:

Him: Oh sorry it's the wrong type of massage. You can do a lot better too. Just believe on yourself. (On?!)
Me: I actually really like my job and i'm doing it to pay for law school, but thanks anyway.
Him: What if someone offered you ?150? What would you do? It's temptation.
Him: Well?
Him: ?150?
Me: I'd say thanks, but I only actually charge ?70 per hour and do massage and hand relief only. Now stop wasting my credit.
Him: I was trying to keep away from young girls like you. Name your price and you'll have enough credit for months.
Him: Send amount and address and on my way. Girls who study law like rich guys.
Me: Ok, 1 million pounds.
Him: Come on. Be smart. You'll even like me and we can have a special arrangement. Don't let a good opportunity slip...
Him: Okay so lets do basic and see if I even think you are pretty. Postcode for simple service please?
Me: Get lost you weirdo.
Him: Shame. I liked you on the phone. You sounded nice, cute even.
Him: Bye.
Him: I'm sorry. Stupid me. I'd love to see you. Have time on my hands and cash to spend. We got on well on the phone. Another chance?
Him: We both like feet too so that's in common

Him: Shall I call to beg?
Him: Calls - I ignore.

That's all so far, but i'm sure he'll start again soon. All of those texts were in a 30 min period!

So what do you think ladies, I get enough credit for months and i'll even like him! That's if he even thinks i'm pretty after a 'basic'. And I don't like feet you moron, I just offer a foot worship service because I know freaks like you do like 'em! What a weirdo!

Pink~Princess · « **Reply #4673 on:** 22 October 2013, 03:11:52 pm »

Quote from: Luna on 22 October 2013, 12:24:04 pm

I am an erotic masseuse, I just do massage and hand jobs, with a little strip tease and i'm wearing just a thong for the massage.

I have a guy call me today who says something along the lines of, I want a massage, are you available now? I tell him i'll be available in an hour. He asks my address, I say I only give that out once a booking has been made. Then he goes on about how he's this rich businessman who doesn't waste peoples' time and is trustworthy blah blah blah. Anyway, I text him my website for him to browse and come back to me if he wants a booking. Then we have this text exchange:

Him: Oh sorry it's the wrong type of massage. You can do a lot better too. Just believe on yourself. (On?!)
Me: I actually really like my job and i'm doing it to pay for law school, but thanks anyway.
Him: What if someone offered you ?150? What would you do? It's temptation.
Him: Well?
Him: ?150?
Me: I'd say thanks, but I only actually charge ?70 per hour and do massage and hand relief only. Now stop wasting my credit.
Him: I was trying to keep away from young girls like you. Name your price and you'll have enough credit for months.
Him: Send amount and address and on my way. Girls who study law like rich guys.
Me: Ok, 1 million pounds.
Him: Come on. Be smart. You'll even like me and we can have a special arrangement. Don't let a good opportunity slip...
Him: Okay so lets do basic and see if I even think you are pretty. Postcode for simple service please?
Me: Get lost you weirdo.
Him: Shame. I liked you on the phone. You sounded nice, cute even.
Him: Bye.
Him: I'm sorry. Stupid me. I'd love to see you. Have time on my hands and cash to spend. We got on well on the phone. Another chance?
Him: We both like feet too so that's in common
Him: Shall I call to beg?
Him: Calls - I ignore.

That's all so far, but i'm sure he'll start again soon. All of those texts were in a 30 min period!

So what do you think ladies, I get enough credit for months and i'll even like him! That's if he even thinks i'm pretty after a 'basic'. And I don't like feet you moron, I just offer a foot worship service because I know freaks like you do like 'em! What a weirdo!

Hi Luna

I am not sure if your a newbie or not but I used to entertain these guys with texts but really it just makes your blood boil in the end as well as having a lot less credit so now I just ignore them and block them, that's the best thing you can do.

xx

P.S I hate feet too but I don't mind seeing a client with a foot fetish aslong as its him worshiping my feet and not the other way around lol, yes complete moron.

Nameless · « **Reply #4674 on:** 24 October 2013, 11:47:15 am »

Has there been a full moon or something the past 10 days? How else to explain the explosion of idiots, TWs, morons, cheapskates, walkouts (not to mention out and out wierdos!) who have been plaguing me.

Latest one this morning.....rings up, ascertains where I'm based, then:

Moron: Oh I'm in Morrisons.... my heart sinks as its yet another last minuter (Morrisons is around 10 minutes away)
Me: I need an hours notice minumum

Upon learning I'm on tour from tomorrow...

Moron: Is there anyone else you know in X town?
Me:I don't make recommendations, I suggest you go and look for yourself ***hangs up***

Which I thought was incredibly self restrained of me!

Pink~Princess · « **Reply #4675 on:** 24 October 2013, 06:16:14 pm »

Just got one of my favourite one liner emails...................

hi looking for a 4 with 3 female escorts can u help?

I've written that I do not work with other escorts and the type of service I offer is very clear all over my profile.

My relaxed GFE with (vanilla services) does not include a 4sum (assuming that's what he actually means)

foreign affairs · « **Reply #4676 on:** 26 October 2013, 02:21:17 pm »

Hi darling,

My name is N..., I'm 32 years old. I am living in X town.
I am looking for some naughty time with a lady

I am fun and really don't want any hassle or problems, that is why I'm detailing so much in this email.

I am 5'11"
I have a good personality and would like to meet someone for 24 hours, maybe longer.

I have been told I am nice by girls so I cant be that bad. The reason im here is because I (think) I have a latex fetish/fantasy/ I would like to meet a lady why would like to dress up in tight shiny clothing and we can have sex. I have some porn links of outfits and activities I like.

I DO NOT LIKE PAIN, not for me or for you. I want normal Horny sex with plenty of Cumming, I would also like if you can cum also. I really get off on working on a lady to make her cum.

Below is some of my likes but not necessarily a must.

cum in mouth

licking pussy

not afraid of getting messy when I cum

maybe have a friend you would like to bring along (female only)

I do not like to be dominated but I am a gentle as you like.

I genuinely just want some hardcore innocent fun with a very sexy lady who can be a naughty slut in the bedroom.

I have no problem meeting girls but in Ireland a naughty one who likes getting kinky in tight shiny clothing is very hard to find, If I do she normally does not look pretty.

Please let me know your rates and a picture if possible to email address at gmail dot com. --------- is my mobile.

It is not my intension to degrade or insult anyone, it is just what I want to do for a weekend.

http://video-one.com/video/0614ef937...t%20of%20view)

http://video-one.com/video/09c662794...t%20of%20view)

I love the different leggings on the lady above

http://video-one.com/video/f8a99371c...cco%20Siffredi

http://video-one.com/video/e887d6eef...1deae7e9a.html

http://video-one.com/video/2d7ae1e92...7d58c0886.html

http://video-one.com/video/181134cd6...html?fid=Latex

http://beeg.com/5674429

I really like the oufits in the above.

http://video-one.com/video/3a12cbbfa...html?fid=Latex

http://video-one.com/video/b19e518e7...html?fid=Latex

http://video-one.com/video/b5901a1f7...html?fid=Latex

Best regards,

N...

Cat_BBW · « **Reply #4677 on:** 26 October 2013, 05:33:47 pm »

Quote from: foreign affairs on 26 October 2013, 02:21:17 pm

{snips}
would like to meet someone for 24 hours, maybe longer.

{snips}

The reason im here is because I (think) I have a latex fetish/fantasy/ I would like to meet a lady why would like to dress up in tight shiny clothing and we can have sex. I have some porn links of outfits and activities I like.

I DO NOT LIKE PAIN, not for me or for you. I want normal Horny sex with plenty of Cumming, I would also like if you can cum also. I really get off on working on a lady to make her cum.

{snips}

Jesus...24 hours or more of latex and sex and plenty of cumming. Just think how raw your clit (let alone your whole body!) would be after that. It would also be swollen to the size of a small willy

Lady_Lust_XXX · « **Reply #4678 on:** 26 October 2013, 05:51:59 pm »

ROFL. After the second line I lost interest and almost fell asleep. How boring

What a lucky escape.

KinkyVixen · « **Reply #4679 on:** 26 October 2013, 10:24:00 pm »

Quote from: MissKylie on 21 October 2013, 10:30:44 pm

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 21 October 2013, 07:54:57 pm
I just had some guy phone me up for domination which I don't do and he knows it but he said he thought that I would still like a domestic service. As if?? Whats wrong with these people?? Lol!
A hell of a lot...

Ive been getting hounded by guys who want to "kindly offer" their free cleaning and domestic services since day 1. Ignore/block/delete ...Dont get into a dialouge with them as they will try their best to convince you you will be getting the best free cleaner to do the jobs you hate. The reality is they dont just want to clean , they want to be humilated while they clean , by a woman dressed in fetish clothes .

Just the sort of thing they would have to PAY a Mistress for . They are similar to the "I can do you some profile pics for free" guys ...these types of guys are sorry , broke - assed paupers who try and manipulate you into thinking your getting something for nothing , the only one getting summat for nowt is these men.

I feel for it once , his cleaning was crap BTW. They spend most of the time admiring their frilly knickers in the mirror....waste of my time. These days I have proper slaves who do clean right and PAY for the pleasure.

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 24 October 2013, 06:16:14 pm

Just got one of my favourite one liner emails...................

hi looking for a 4 with 3 female escorts can u help?

I've written that I do not work with other escorts and the type of service I offer is very clear all over my profile.

My relaxed GFE with (vanilla services) does not include a 4sum (assuming that's what he actually means)

Is that in west yorks BTW ? Just got similar email.

Have done one client n 3 girls before so he may be genuine but i know its infuriating that he is askign for services you dont offer.

A lot of guys are browsing AW on smartphones and they get the PDA version of the site.

Its a smaller version and the profiles on PDA version are basically your main profile pic , and a number and your strapline ......no full info , no FAQs ect ..............Very annoying as the guys assume thats all the info there is and then the questions and emails start , but its not the guys fault .

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships! (Read 2600067 times)

happyhappyjoyjoy

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Cat_BBW

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

wonderlass

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

amy

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Pink~Princess

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

TeenKylie

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

FakePlasticTrees

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Luna

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Pink~Princess

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Nameless

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Pink~Princess

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

foreign affairs

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Cat_BBW

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

Lady_Lust_XXX

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!

KinkyVixen

Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!