Someone just text asking if there was CCTV on my street, so I responded with yes, and also throughout my house lol

Spooky like they're planning to rob when I get asked similar questions about in my house.

I have had a number of weird texts, but this one is still top of the list for me and cracks me up everytime I think of it:

"I'm 16 and in desperate need of a free blowjob."

  Isn't everyone who is 16. This is sooooo funny x

Just had a drunk guy call up, He started singing and saying  " oh ive seen you before " weird  I don't even know who he is lol !
as quiet as it has been today had to turn this one down

Not exactly a booking request this one, but I want to share it here anyway.

I received an email from a young guy who saw me once a few weeks ago. It was a nice hour, not very memorable. He wrote: since I am a nosey person I looked at the *** (the Dutch website my ad is on) and I noticed you upped your ad. I was wondering if you meet men for free, in other words, for just your own pleasure?

Eh.... needless to say what I answered 
I also added that I have fun in my day job in the office as well and my manager has never tried not paying my salary for the month I had much fun in  .

Hello all, long time no speak!

Todays was a good one, "can you deepthroat me.and.make.yourself sick on my cock? How much extra would I need to pay you to eat your vomit?" 

wonder what section of the mental health act he is on and where he is detained !

Hello id like to book you Orchid for an hour do you take euros' that's all I have? !!!
me  =no I take English sterling only.
 what bus is it to your place ?
 me =I'm sorry I'm not taking your booking sir .

"hey gawjus r u tskin bookings today n do u see azn guys x " No and yes, but I do have a policy about only accepting booking from men who take the time to craft me something sensible!!

....the disappointing ending to what was generally speaking an ok email....

I would love the opportunity to serve you  ( I want to give my body to you because I know that you have the power to own it). Also could I possibly serve you for ...*?80 less than my rates*... - I hate to ask this but I have - please do not be offended it is just that times are tough.
 
I hope to hear from you and would dearly love to serve you.
 
Yours completely

.....

  Erm well obviously not mine completely, or he would be prepared to pay the usual fee!!