Via SMS:

Him: Hi I saw your add online and was wondering if you are available today at X time for one hour?
Me: Yes I have availability at that time.
Him: Excellent, can I ask do you do bj without condom
Me: I offer OWO if you have a shower here or are freshly showered on arrival and don’t have any concerning lumps or bumps.

Clearly not the provocative answer he was expecting.

Subject: hello babe wonder if u interested in regular meets x
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi there! wonder if u are interested!
Am looking for a lover type affection, I love kissing and hugs with feelings, I will treat u like my princess and would love to treated nice is well, I will respect you a lot, i don't like any restrictions they put me off, I am totally clean guy,recently checked from health Center near me, All results are clean.
but I can't make love with restrictions like I can't use condoms, they put me off massively and I loses errection, that's why am only interested in one clean girl for regular meets. will be seeing u 3 times a week. With 100/hr meet every meet please babe !
Thank you
Xx

I feel like he is respecting me so much by asking for bareback when I don't offer it and offering lower than my hourly rate! 

It was so poetic I thought it deserved a nice intro on here.

(I did not get to meet this smoothie, might get over it, who knows)

I have Saturday night fever

How deep is your love

Need some real lurrrvin you up for it tonight?

It was so poetic I thought it deserved a nice intro on here.

(I did not get to meet this smoothie, might get over it, who knows)

Ha ha this one made me laugh, he probably will use that as a chat up line every time for the last 10years or so 

Want to come to Ub2 xx

Sent via email. But at least I have a name for the idiot.
Told the fool to go back, read my profile and pay attention to the step by step process I have included about how to book me.

text about 5 seconds ago
"babe can you deepthroat? can be there at 5.15"
 =))

Sending a 6 page complicated role play script for a half an hour booking! Ridiculous. He's such a nice guy and good looking too but I had to decline meeting.

Potential customers answer, when asked how long he wanted to book for.

Now young Miss, how long? (I'm 47)
Well that's up to you, I like to give pleasure as well as receive it, so I am hoping that you will allow me to gently pleasure you. Putting it in slow cooker terms your pussy would be the slow cooker and using my tongue as eagerly, slowly and gently let you simmer mmm. This takes time, would be 90 mins but if your not fussed about being pleasured, we can just do an hour.
I've decided I'm going to be busy for the forcible, and I've been put off using my slow cooker for a while.

  This is the type of joker I would keep replying to as and when I was bored just for the entertainment value. I am a bit weird like that though.