I've had this amazing offer today and I'm so proud of my final response.
Email subject line: Fur coat fetish
Him: Can you dom my Wednesday morning
Me: Where do you live? What does your style of domination look like? And what does it have to do with a fur coat??
Him: It turns me on I'm in peterbrough I like been hogtied and strangled with rope big turn on and like to be made to eat out of dog bowl
Me: Yeah, I don't do any of that and I'm nowhere near Peterborough, sorry.
Him: Will you put me on a dog collar and make me cum on yours boots then
Me: You're barking up the wrong tree, mate.
Barking
BARKING
I'm amazing