Client “You’ve got nice breasts. *pause* I don’t like big ones”

Me “...oh, thanks?”

I didn’t even think my boobs were small!

Anyone else got any crackers to share? Funny things, men. 

A few weeks ago I mentioned to a client about putting on weight during lockdown.

I was naked at the time. He looked at my stomach and said I like a bit of fat on a woman.

I didn't think I put that much weight on.

Hahah! They’re clueless, aren’t they.

When that client said to me I had nice boobs n that he liked small ones, I was DYINGGGG to say something similar back like how I thought he has a nice cock & I like tiny ones haha

I’ve had the “i much prefer small boobs” comment lots of times. I’m a C/D cup so wouldn’t say I’m particularly small chested.
Ive also had the “love your huge ass” type comment during doggy style.
Oh and there was one bloke who was stroking my thighs and pointed out he could feel my stretch marks and found it “cute”.

A repeat client (probably 2-3 times a year for a few years), did tell me during a paid phone chat complimenting me on my appearance more or less said it would be perfect if my breasts were a little bigger. This has happened a couple of times in personal life about 15 years ago, actually during sex. Never even occurred to me to comment on the other person's performance (and I could have because they had their own hang ups and issues). Held up to be perfect!

 "I've never fucked a Ginge' before"
Had this more than once and I didn't even know I was ginger

 (unless they're confused by my freckles? 🤔)

You don’t look as awful as you sounded on the phone earlier.

Jeez!?   Reply would be, you didn't sound like such a dick as you do now, so now f**k off!

 

Do your family know that you are an escort ?

Me : And do your family know that you pay for sex to get it ?

Client : I am sorry I am not that good with women

Me in my head : I’ve noticed that already.

I say exactly the same when I am asked if my family know what I do for money, cheeky fuckers!

"You're very confident for a common prostitute"

I'd have put that cunt right out the door!